Hokage no Isan
by kyugan
Summary: In a matter of weeks, Naruto gains a family, a clan, and above all else, a greater chance of achieving his goals in the form of...TEAM HOKAGE! NarutoFlame of Recca Crossover. NaruHina, among others.
1. Chapter 1

Hokage no Isan

An explosive entry! The flame and the leaf!

Recca charged forwards, landing a solid blow to Kurei's jaw, the younger flame wielder's fist sending his older sibling staggering back a step. Kurei reciprocated, his higher level of martial arts skill allowing him to land two blows, a kick to the stomach, followed by an uppercut. The two brothers had long since exhausted their ability to summon their inner flames, and were now simply pounding away at each other in a bloody free-for-all.

Outside the ring, their corresponding teammates watched on in shock.

Kirisawa Fuko, wielder of the madogu Fuujin, winced as the sounds of pulping flesh echoed round the arena, at her side, Koganei Kaoru, wielder of the Kogon Ankin, cheered out for Recca, urging him on. Another member of Recca's team echoed his efforts; Towering over all of his teammates, the giant known as Ishijima 'Oni no' Domon, who out of the entire team possessed the most madogu, roared his encouragement down at his rival and closest friend.

Behind the Mohawk sporting giant stood the ever-reserved form of Mikagami Tokiya, wielder of the madogu Ensui, his cool gaze watching over the match. Though he loathed displaying emotion in public, he too added his own silent encouragement to his rambunctious teammates' efforts.

Sheltered behind the active members were the Hokage support team, consisting of Kagehoshi, otherwise known as Kagero, and Sakoshita Yanagi. The former being Recca's mother, an immortal member of the Hokage ninja, and the latter Recca's precious 'Hime' and the team's medic. The latter winced as she buried her face into the older woman's arms, trying to block out the sounds, whilst Kagehoshi watched her son and stepson beat each other to death with a pained expression.

'Recca…Kurei…' she winced as a particularly vicious right hook sent Recca staggering, 'Why did it have to be this way?'

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Recca righted himself and panted for breath, glaring across at Kurei, who was in a similar predicament.

"Man…for such a so called bad-ass…your punches sure are weak…"

Kurei glared at his younger sibling and growled.

"Fool…keep up the pointless banter…I shall be the one…to silence you…"

Recca snorted, still gasping for breath, as he wiped sweat from his brow.

"You're so…full of it…" he scowled at the older flame wielder, "So your life sucked balls…how in the…hell's that my fault?"

Kurei's eyes grew murderous as he lunged forwards, tearing into his younger sibling with renewed hatred.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FUALT!" he roared ramming his fists into Recca again and again, "WHEN YOU WERE BORN, MY LIFE ENDED!"

He slugged his sibling in the jaw, grabbing his arm and adding a knee to the stomach.

"MY MOTHER SUFFERED! I SUFFERED! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Recca's knee caught the psychopathic twenty year-old in the ribs, followed by a fist to the nose.

"QUIT BITCHING ABOUT THAT!" the younger brother roared, "I WAS ONLY A BABY! WHAT THE HELL COULD I HAVE DONE TO YOU?!"

He grabbed Kurei's head and rammed his own into it, with enough force to shatter what remained of the man's mask.

"QUIT USING ME AS A SCAPEGOAT FOR YOUR DAMN ANGST FEST!"

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On the Uruha Kurenai side, Joker, Raiha and Neon winced as their leader staggered back, clutching his abused forehead. Joker, the sole surviving member of Kurei's Uruha-Kurenai, tilted his head at the other two.

"Ano-sa, looks like Kurei'll be feeling that one tomorrow."

Raiha said nothing but his fists tightened somewhat, a stark contrast to the calm look that covered his handsome face.

'Kurei-sama…as your personal shinobi, I long to leap into the ring…but as such, I also understand that to do so would be an insult, I shall not interfere, until the end.'

Neon had covered her mouth and was wincing at the sight of her master's face, contorted in pain. She had not seen that look since Lady Kurenai had been killed, the day Kurei sealed off his emotions, but here it was, and it was all because of Recca.

'No…' she thought bitterly, 'it is because of Mori Kouran…him and his sick obsession with immortality…' she clenched her right hand over her left shoulder in an attempt to suppress the urge to shiver as she glared at the silhouette in the window above the arena, in the VIP section.

'I can almost see the disgusting look on his hideous face…' she growled.

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Kurei shook his head, trying to clear it as he looked up.

'Why…why is he so strong?'

He glared at his younger sibling, trying to fathom the teen's stregth.

'It's true that he possesses the legendary Karyu…but their power is useless if he cannot summon his flame…' his glaze flicked to the gold bracelet around his arm, 'and he's as burned out as I am.'

Kurei's fist tightened, 'enough…whether it be by flame…' he moved forward 'or by my own blood stained hands…' he broke into a run, 'I will kill him!"

"RECCAAAAAAA!"

Recca snarled in reply and lunged forwards, arm drawn back.

"KUREEEEEEI!"

The two brother's fists collided with the other's cheeks, causing them to dent inward. The force of the blows caused dust to swirl around them, as if blown by a brief gale.

Time stood still, as did the combatants, neither seeming to show any signs of continuing.

Then they fell, both brothers falling face first on the broken arena floor in a broken heap.

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Tatsuko stuck her head out of the rubble, her eyes scanning to see if there was any continued risk to her life. Seeing the prone forms of the two combatants, the dragon referee crawled out of the giant crack she'd sheltered in and dashed over.

"They're both down folks! Tournament rules dictate that there be a ten second count in such cases, and the one to stand first is declared the champion! Ten! Nine…!"

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"GET OF YOUR ASS HANABISHI!" Domon roared, cupping his hands to add to the volume of his voice.

'Not that he needs to,' Mikagami thought, wincing, 'the gorilla's lungs could serve as a foghorn.'

Fuko and Koganei shared their teammates enthusiasm, yelling at their captain to get back up, Yanagi adding her own two cents after a moment or so.

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"Two!" Tatsuko called out, raising her hand one last time, "One! And that's it!"

She looked up at the audience, waving a hand in the air.

"This match ends in a tie!" she called out, "As such, going by the points accumulated, the results are as follows:"

The digital scoreboard revealed the two teams current status.

Team Hokage: 2 wins, 2 losses and a tie.

Team Uruha-Kurenai: 2 wins, 2 losses and a tie

"Tournament rules dictate…um…"

Tatsuko looked flustered, scratching her head as she flicked throgh a booklet that appeared out of nowhere.

"Ano…this has never happened before…we have no rules to cover it…"

"Kurei wins." A voice called out over the speakers, Mori Kouran's unsightly face appearing on the monitor.

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"As sponsor of this tournament I declare Kurei the winner."

The corrupt businessman began to laugh insanely, leering down at the startled members of the audience.

"I win! The healer girl is mine!" his laughter grew to full on cackles as the Hokage team huddled around Yanagi.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR YOU BASTARD!" Fuko yelled, "YOU'RE KUREI'S BACKER! YOUR OPINION IS BIASED!"

"Who cares?!" Kouran cackled, "I'm in charge here! I've let Kurei get away with too much! Now I'm calling the shots!"

"I think not…Chichiue."

The cackling stopped instantly as the deranged multi-billionaire gazed down at the forms climbing to their feet.

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"Yeah, like I'll let you lay your filthy hands on Hime." Recca taunted, giving the image on the monitor the finger.

Kurei scowled at the man, his injuries apparently forgotten.

"Chichiue…I warned you that if you interfered with this match…nothing would be able to save you."

Noticing the look in his 'father's' eyes Kurei's scowl deepened.

"And did I not tell you that using THAT would only make things worse for you?"

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A vein began pulsing on Kouran's forehead, his odd eyes seeming to bulge in anger, much like a toad.

"Kurei…you bastard…if you don't do as I say…I'll kill Tsukino, no matter what you say!"

Kurei's eyes widened as the demented figure raised his hand to reveal a button, his thumb hovering over it. At the same time, twenty goons were lowered down, holding a woman between them.

"HAHAUE!!" Kurei roared, dashing forwards, earning a startled look from Recca.

'Mother?' he gazed at the woman in confusion, 'but…she doesn't look anything like Kurei!!'

"Stop right there!" Kouran yelled, "Or I'll detonate the bomb inside her, just like with Kurenai!"

Kurei stopped, thirty feet away from the platform, fists clenched.

"Good boy…good dog…" Kouran taunted, smirking, "Now turn around and face the monitor."

Kurei did as he was told, the look on his face livid.

"Well?" Kouran said slowly, as if talking to an infant, "I'm waiting…"

Kurei's face changed to one of self-loathing and, to the shock of al present, save the Uruha members and Kouran's lackeys, kneeled down with his head to the floor.

"Forgive me father…for not knowing my place…"

Recca's fists tightened in anger, "Teme…" he glared at the screen, "YOU BACKSTABBING COCKBITE! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'M GONNA FEED YOUR BALLS TO THE KARYU! YOU HEAR ME!"

"YAMERO RECCA!"

Recca blinked in shock as he saw Kurei, still kneeling, trembling, "Do not provoke him further…for my mother's sake."

Recca's eyes widened, "Kurei…" he stepped forward, "all this time…the reason you did whatever he told you…"

Kurei said nothing; he merely kept his head to the ground.

Kouran snorted, "That's right, know your place dog!" He shot his deranged look at the younger of Ouka's sons, "And you, unless you want to cause Kurei further grief, I suggest you follow his example!"

He lowered his thumb a little more, "On your knees! Lower your head! Or I'll show you just how Kurenai died!"

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Outside the ring, Domon was trembling in barely restrained fury, the Mohawk-sporting giant, quite to his surprise felt an odd sort of kinship towards their psychopathic former adversary.

'A man can be driven to terrible things…in order to protect his family.' He thought.

"I think I understand Kurei a little." He said, causing his fellow Hokage to blink.

Mikagami nodded, 'Had it been me, I would have done the same to save my sister.'

Fuko spat, "Bastard, first he tries to kidnap Yanagi, now this?!"

Kagehoshi gazed down at Kurei with a pitying look on her face, which was shared by Yanagi.

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Recca's hand trembled as he glared venomously up at the image on the screen, his face seeming hauntingly similar to Kurei's.

"Well?" Kouran taunted, "I'm waiting…"

Recca grit his teeth, clenched his fist and his glare intensified.

Then to the shock of all, got on his knees, lowered his head to the floor and bowed.

"Please forgive my insolence." He grit out between clenched teeth.

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Team Ku, watching in the stands, with the exception of Fujimaru, were shocked to their core.

"Recca-dono…" Daikoku muttered, clenching his fists, while Minamio clenched his own.

Saicho was looking extremely angry, and even the eternally calm face of Kukai looked terrifyingly similar to his demonic persona.

Fujimaru noticed the looks on his teammates' faces and decided now would be a good time to show some tact and keep his yapper shut.

Kouran began to cackle again, his voice traveling around the arena.

"THE MIGHTY HOKAGE FLAME WIELDERS, KNEELING TO MY VERY WHIM!"

He raised his hand, "YOU DISGUST ME KUREI!" he cackled, "I TAUGHT YOU TO HAVE NO EMOTIONS!"

He is sick grin became even more twisted.

"LOOK WHAT YOUR LOVE HAS BROUGHT YOU!"

To the shock of all, Kouran's thumb moved to push the button.

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"NO!"

Kurei charged off the ground towards the monitor, hands outstretched as if to stop the madman, Recca likewise charging, the two brothers sharing identical looks of anger, fear and desperation as they ran.

As if in slow motion, the thumb came down, until the button was pressed.

There was a clicking noise.

The collective audience held their breaths as they waited for the explosion. When none came they looked down.

Mori Tsukino was still standing, a look of confused relief still on her face.

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"What?!" Kouran shrieked, pressing the button repeatedly, shocked anger covering his face, a hint of fear in his insane eyes.

"Looking for this?" A voice called out.

Everyone spun round to reveal, to his or her shock, an old man leaning on a cane.

"GENJURO!?" Recca yelled, eyes bulging out of his head, "But you're…Neon killed you!"

The elderly Uruha member snorted.

"Not quite…what Neon killed was one of my creations…who do you think perfected the cloning technique which Mori Kouran based his research off of?" he stepped forwards, leaning on his cane, "I merely implanted memories into the copy, and let it get on with the tournament while I did my work behind the scenes."

He held up a small metallic device, with several torn wires.

"This is the bomb that was placed inside your mother Kurei, as per your orders I have removed it."

He tossed the lump of metal onto the floor and kicked it down into the abyss that surrounded the ring.

Kurei blinked, before regaining his calm demeanor, "I see…you used your clones death to act behind the scenes…very clever Genjuro." He smirked, "You always were the most cunning of the Uruha."

"Don't count your chickens!" Kouran screeched, "Men! Shoot them! Kill them all!"

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The goons pulled out their guns, pushing the woman forwards to put her in the line of fire. That is, until Domon's Kuchibashi-o rammed into one of them, wrapping around another three and enabling the giant to launch himself onto the platform. Fuko used Fuujin to vivisect another pair, with Koganei dealing out painful death via acrobatics and the multi-skilled Kogon Ankin. Mikagami stayed with Kagero and Yanagi, as they made their way toward Tsukino, using his Hyomon ken techniques to freeze anything that got too close.

Seven unlucky figures attempted to make off with Tsukino, until team Ku leapt into the fray, finishing off four of them as the last three backed away. Suddenly, one was set ablaze and another bisected by a massive crescent moon shaped blade, as Kashamaru and Tsukishiro joined the fray. The last one attempted to run, when the massive form of Gashakura grabbed him, ripping him in two with his bare hands.

It was, in short, a massacre; when the last goon fell, Mori Tsukino was surrounded on all sides by a protective wall consisting of the members of Hokage, the remains of Uruha, and team Ku.

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Kurei looked from his people to the enraged face on the monitor and smirked.

"You were saying…Kouran?"

Mori Kouran's face was a sight to see, insane rage filled every inch of it.

"Kurei," he spat, "you bastard…you're all bastards…"

His eyes bulged sickeningly, as he started to scream.

"FUCK ALL OF YOU! I'LL BLOW THE WHOLE ARENA SKY HIGH!"

Recca's eyes widened as the madman raised another button, this one considerably larger.

"Everyone! Group together!"

"GO TO HELL!" Kouran shrieked, pressing the button so hard it shattered.

At the precise moment, Recca ripped off his tekko and began to draw a symbol in the air.

"Ryu no en, Go-shiki: MADOKA! KEKKAI EN!!!!"

Madoka, the self-proclaimed lord of the impenetrable barrier, erupted from the younger hokage's arm and enveloped the group, just as the explosion cut of Kouran's insane scream.

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Recca floated, that's what it felt like, floating. The last thing he remembered was a brilliant flash of light, and then he'd lost all consciousness.

'Am I dead?' he wondered to the darkness, noticing the floating forms of everyone.

'Kurei…Saicho…Kukai…' his gazed washed over the Uruha members, before landing on is own team. 'Domon…Mikagami…Koganei…Fuko…Kaa-san…'

His eyes widened at the sight of Yanagi floating limply past him.

"HIME!!!!"

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Recca shot straight up and winced, feeling as if he'd been run over by a truck.

"Are you feeling alright, young man?"

Recca jumped and looked around; He was obviously in a hospital room, judging by the smell of disinfectant, and his arm and head were wrapped in bandages. An old man sat across from him, wearing white robes and a strange hat with the kanji for fire over the front. He had a cheerful look despite his aged features and was smoking a pipe, despite hospital regulations.

"That was quite a spill you took." He muttered, "If it hadn't been for the patrol finding you, you'd still be lying in that crater."

He exhaled a plume of smoke from his pipe, smiling again.

"You're lucky to be alive."

Recca blinked and looked around, suddenly worried.

"Hime! Where's Hime!" he blinked, "And the others!" he added as an afterthought, moving to climb out of the bed. He winced as his ribs twinged and fell back as the old man placed a restraining hand on his chest, the grip in those wrinkled fingers surprising the teen.

"Easy," the man coaxed, "your comrades are doing fine, all thirteen of them."

Recca blinked, wondering what the man was on about.

"Thirteen…but there are…" he winced, "What do they look like?"

The old man frowned in thought, as he tried to picture everyone.

"A large young man in tiger shorts, two young women, two children, a man with long hair, four older men, another young man with a heart condition, a woman with two beauty marks and a large bald man."

Recca sighed at the descriptions, 'So team Ku and the others are fine…wonder where Kurei and the Uruha members went…"

Blinking suddenly he looked up at the man, confusion rife on his face.

"Wait…two children?"

At that moment a blonde projectile shot through the door, causing him to wince as it slammed against the wall

"RECCAAAAAA!"

Recca screamed in pain as the figure latched onto his sore ribs, her blonde hair and size making it easy to recognize her.

"GACK! GANKO?" he yelled, wincing from the pain in his ribs, "What're you doing here?!"

The youngest Uruha trainee sniffed as she hugged him tighter.

"Reiran sensed trouble, so she used her madogu to travel to where you guys were!" Ganko cried, "I was sooooo scaaaared!!!!"

Recca winced as she bawled into his chest, sending a look towards the door where Reiran was smiling, the animated marionette having an apologetic look on her face.

He sighed and patted Ganko on the head, before eyeing the old man.

"Guess I owe you one…what's your name anyway old man?" He looked around, not recognizing the skyline outside, "And for that matter, where are we?"

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Chuckling at the youth's manners, or lack thereof, the old man emptied his pipe, refilled and lit it, taking a deep puff.

"You're in Konohagakure no sato, the village hidden in the leaves." He explained, smiling at the confused teen.

"As for myself, I am known as professor Sarutobi, though my official title is the Sandaime Hokage."

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Well there you have it, another fic from the demented mind of Kyugan.

What do you think? good? bad? Abysmal?

R&R!!!

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Next time on Hokage no Isan!

Can the Hokage Nigun adapt to being hurtled to a world where being a ninja isn't just a job, it's a way of life?

How will Konoha adapt when the hokage trio join forces with the resident demon?

But more importantly, can the hokage ningun survive an encounter with their latest opponent...UMINO IRUKA?!?!?!


	2. Chapter 2

To tell you the truth, once I get an idea in my head it's hard to lety it go, so I'm going to go as far as I can with this one, and it looks like a defintie keeper.

Also: Pyro-chan? thank's for the review, I really appreciate it.

Anyway, on with the show!

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Juushinshu reformed, initiation to the leaf!

Kurei opened his eyes to find himself gazing up at the sky, blinking at how clear and fresh the air tasted, as he took in breath after grateful breath..

"Kurei." A gentle voice called out, "Are you awake?"

Kurei sat up, wincing at the pain that wracked his body, before turning to gaze at the woman beside him.

"Hahaue!"

Mori Tsukino smiled and embraced her son gently, wary of his wounds, whilst stroking the twenty-year olds ebony locks as if he were the same yfour year old boy she'd picked up off the street.

"I'm alright Kurei," she assured him, as the man held her tightly, "I'm alright…"

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Raiha smiled at the tender scene as the assembled members of Uruha watched from the shadows of the trees, allowing the mother and son their privacy, but staying close enough that if there were any problems, they were within reach should Kurei still prove to be exhausted.

Neon looked at the night sky and frowned, not recognising their position.

"Where do you think we are Raiha?" he asked, causing the handsome shinobi to shrug.

"Where we are supposed to be, at Kurei-sama's side."

"Ever the romanticist, eh, Raiha?" Genjuro mocked, sitting down stiffly, wincing from the landing he'd made, "My old bones weren't meant for that kind of abuse." He muttered, patting his back tenderly.

"Forget your old bones, " Tsukishiro mocked, "my beautiful face will NEVER feel the same after such harsh treatment!"

"My God, could you BE any more queer?" Kashamaru groaned, holding his face in his hands.

Gashakura looked at his teammates and growled, instantly silencing the quarrel before it began, much to the relief of the other members.

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Kurei held his mother in his arms and looked at the sky.

'The air is fresher here…' he noted, gazing at his mother, before staring at the sky, resolve setting in his eyes. 'I'll start over…without Kouran to interfere…' he hugged her closer, 'I'll protect you no matter what…Kaa-san.'

Standing up Kurei composed himself before barking out an order.

"Uruha, assemble!"

They blurred into vision around him, beaten and worse for wear, but alive.

Vain Tsukishiro, with his Kaigetsu and Oboro. Kashamaru with his Nisei-bi, and skills as a shinobi. Aged Genjuro, with his shinrei shujutsu and mastery of illusions. Beautiful Neon, bereft of her Fukyo-Waon, yet loyal as they come. Aki, with her Kotodama, and mastery of illusions. Miki, with the speed enhancing Idaten, and the sound reflecting Yamabiko. The massive Gashakura and his Magagumo, towering over them all. The enigmatic joker, who seemed the calmest of the group, as if knowing something they didn't, which he probably did, leaning on his Gravity controlling Taishaku Kaiten. Loyal Raiha, and his murderous Raijin, determined to follow him till the end.

Nine members of his Uruha, ten if what he sensed was true.

"Nagai Mokuren," the flame wielder muttered, "if you don't come out of the trees this instant I will set you ablaze."

The psychotic plant manipulator shuffled out, covered in wounds that hadn't healed from his fight with Mikagami Tokiya, his left arm missing.

"Heh, guess the gig is up…" he eyed the motley crew, "How's it going?"

Genjuro sighed, shaking his head in exhaustion.

"Mokuren, I forgot about you…" he bowed to Kurei, "I'm happy to say he's regained most of his wits…though he's still as insane as ever…fusing the madogu was a mistake I shan't be repeating."

"Fuck you old man." Mokuren spat, limping over to stand beside Aki, leering at her. The girl shivered and stepped closer to Neon, who glared at him.

"Enough, Mokuren." Kurei muttered, and the man backed down. Insane or not, the plant man knew better than to annoy the flame wielder.

"My Uruha," Kurei muttered, "we are at a crossroads of sorts…"

He gestured to Tsukino, a frown on uis face.

"My only concern now is the safety of my mother, as such, revenge on Mori Kouran is probably out of the question." He looked over them, nodding slightly.

"Do as you please, I will not take your madogu from you."

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As Kurei turned to leave a hand stopped him, causing him to look round in confusion at the smiling face of Raiha.

"I have served a your shinobi for so long, it would be strange to stop now."

Neon stepped forwards, a look of determination on her beautiful face.

"We are your Uruha, use us as you wish." She added, her sisters nodding beside her.

Genjuro snorted, cracking his neck joints with a wince.

"These old bones are too set in their way to go the straight and narrow," he eyed Kurei with a twinkle in his eye, "besides, I still have work to do."

Mokuren grinned sadistically, leering at the enjutsu-shi in a manner reminiscent of a piranha.

"Things are always more fun around you."

Kashamaru pulled off a salute, grinning at his leader respectfully.

"This Hokage ninja's ready and waiting!"

Tsukishiro preened, posing slightly with his kaigetsu and a rose.

"A face as beautiful as mine should only be in the service of a fitting master." he cooed, causing Kashamaru to snort.

"Yeah-yeah, princess is in too."

As Tsukishiro rounded on his diminutive teammate, Gashakura separated them, loking down at Kurei with a cryptic glance.

"Onii-san and I were trying to get into Uruha from the start," he muttered, "he may be gone, but I'm not going to pass up the chance now."

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Kurei blinked at their words, shocked at their loyalty after all that had happened, before his face set itno it's usual mask as he nodded.

"Suit yourselves," he conceded, turning on his heel, hiding the smile on his face from view as he picked his mother up in his arms, as they lined up behind him.

"Uruha Juushinshu…MOVE OUT!"

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Recca blinked, twice, before patting the side of his head.

"I must be more messed up than I thought," he muttered, "I coulda sworn you said you were a Hokage."

Sarutobi blinked, at the teens words, confused.

"I did." He stated, causing Recca's eyes to bulge.

"WHAAAT?! B-but…I thought the Hokage ninja died out centuries ago!"

Sarutobi sweatdropped, watching as the injured teen let off bizzare monkety like expressions.

"Hanabishi-san, do calm down."

Recca paused, a look of suspicion on his face as he preapred to summon a karyuu.

"Wait," he muttered, "where'd you learn my name?"

At moment a familiar face entered the room, dressed in a black dress.

"Recca! You're awake!"

Kagehoshi dashed forward and wrapped her arms around her son, wincing at the slight creaking noise that emanated from his protesting spine.

"M-mom!" he yelped, squirming to escaper the immortal woman's clutches, "You're embarassin' me!"

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Sarutobi chuckled, as the woman finally released her child, though she contiunued to fret at his condition.

"Your mother told me everything that happened," he explained, "I must admit I'm intrigued by some of the things she has said."

He tipped the corner of his hat, bwing his head slightly.

"You have my word that not a whisper shall leave this room."

Kagero smiled at the venerable elder and bowed, lifting Ganko off Recca and setting her on her lap.

Recca frowned for a moment before his eyes widened, as he remembered his earlier distress.

"What about the others!?" he yelled, causing Sarutobi to nod.

"As I said, they are fine," he assured the teen, "they are being cared for by my medical staff." He smiled warmly as the teen let out a sigh of relief, "You were indeed fortunate."

Suddenly the elder frowned, looking over the trio seriously.

"However, it does place you in an odd dilemma."

Puffing away at his pipe for a moment the Hokage looked Recca in the eyes and nodded.

"Young man, would you be willing to become a shinobi of the village?"

Recca raised an eyebrow, a deadpan expression on his face.

"Say what?"

"You see," Sarutobi explained, "Konohagakure, as the name suggests, is a hidden ninja village, as such the majority of the population here work as ninjas."

Recca's eyes bulged, and wouldn't yours? He'd just gone from the kid with a ninja obsession to the kid in the middle of a ninja village.

"Of course we'll have to put you through the academy for a year until you get the hang of things," Sarutobi muttered, waving a hand dismissively, "but I'm sure you and your friends will do splendidly."

Recca eyed his mother, ever the voice of reason in his recently fucked-up world,

"What d'ya think mom?" he asked, causing Kagero to smile.

"Until we find a way home, why not?" she replied.

"SWEET!" Recca yelled leaping up to bounce around the room, wounds forgotten, " I'm gonna be a real Ninja!"

Sarutobi smiled and stood up, nodding towards the door.

"Your friends should be waking up about now," he mentioned, "what say we check on them?"

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Ishijima Domon was not a happy man.

One minute his life was flashing before his eyes, from the minute he dropped out of his beloved mama to the fiery explosion that was the murder dome, followed by an eerie darkness that made him feel sleepy, and the next thing he knew they were all hurtling towards the ground at a terminal velocity. If it weren't for the giant leveling the ground with Kuchibashi-o there was no doubt they'd have become one with the landscape in a very intimate, most definitely painful way.

However, the force of the blow had knocked him out, and when he woke up, it was to find himself in a hospital room.

"Where am I?" he asked out loud, noticing that he was wearing a hospital gown, and that his belongings lay on a chair to the side. He eyed his precious tiger pattern shorts and winced; they were so badly torn he dare not wear them for decency's sake.

At that moment the door slammed open and Hanabishi Recca barged in, similarly dressed, much to the dismay of his embarrassed mother.

"Domon!" the smaller teen yelled as he leaped forwards, "I thought you were dead Franken-dick!"

"Screw you Hanabishi!" the giant roared, the two getting into their usual greeting/fight.

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Sarutobi chuckled, as he watched the destruction continue, reminding him of his days with the Sannin.

"Such energetic young men." He commented, standing next to Kagero, who was smiling weakly in embarrassment, Ganko held in her arms.

At that minute, someone kicked the door open and two chairs were flung at the boys, who yelped.

"Shut the hell up!" Fuko yelled, "You're disturbing the patients!"

Recca made an impromptu comment about her own loud voice and the trio was involved in a free for all.

Mikagami groaned and covered his face, leaning against the doorway, "Baka Saru Tachi."

Koganei skipped around the outskirts of the fight, taunting all three before Domon put him in a headlock.

Yanagi, who had just entered, was fluttering around at the edge as well, attempting to calm the trio down, only to be ignored completely.

At that minute, a massive figure loomed over the dust cloud, causing the combatants to stop and look up, blinking in surprise at the sight.

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What appeared to be a Sasquatch in drag glared down to them, the mascara and lipstick hinting it was female, though this did little to comfort them.

"No Fighting in the hospital." It murmured in a deep baritone, beady eyes looking over the group predatorily.

The troublemakers slowly nodded and moved away, trying not to agitate the mass of muscle.

"Thank you, Usagi-chan." Sarutobi said delicately, patting the creature's elbow cautiously, "I'll take it from here."

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Recca and company sat in a semi-circle around the Hokage, who was behind his desk.

"Your compatriots, Kukai and his students, have already accepted positions amongst the shinobi populace." He smiled, "I started them off at the chunin level to be safe, but I dare say Kukai could reach jounin within a week, especially if I recommend him to ANBU."

He sighed, looking mildly dissapointed.

"But he declined for the moment, said he wanted time to adjust."

The elder pulled out some documents as he spoke, looking over the group carefully.

"Due to his heart condition, I recommended Saicho start off at the genin level until we found a way to cure him, he seemed ready to accept."

Placing a sheet of paper before the group he smiled yet again, in a manner reminiscent of a doting grandfather.

"These are application forms for the academy," he explained, pushing them across the table, "you'll be joining for one year and hopefully you'll graduate with this year's group."

He smiled down at Koganei, a twinkle in his eyes.

"You I'm afraid, will have to start at the beginning; age requirements you know?"

Koganei grumbled and looked away, while Ganko shivered at the thought of going to school again.

Recca, a shit-eating grin on his face, grabbed a pen and scrawled his name down faster than you could say Hokage.

"This is gonna rock, isn't it Hime?!" he asked, causing Yanagi to flush and look away.

"Hai!"

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Umino Iruka sighed as he overlooked the files in front of him. Apparently the Hokage had seen fit to transfer five new students into his class, who for all purposes hadn't set foot in the academy at all!

'And here I was hoping for a miracle,' the chunin muttered, 'bad enough I have to baby-sit Naruto but…'

He paused, looking around to spot his favorite blonde hell-raiser, before sighing exasperatedly.

"God Dammit…"

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"Kaa-san…" Recca muttered, blinking in surprise at what lay before him, "isn't that…"

Kagero nodded, "It certainly is," she muttered just as bewildered as her son, before looking over at the Hokage, who chuckled.

"This house appeared in Konoha about the same time you did," Sarutobi explained with a chuckle, "I think it must have followed you here."

Recca stared in shock at the Hokage safe house, which if he recalled correctly, had been built in the side of a cliff last he'd seen it; Yet here it sat, in all its rustic glory, even the gardens were intact.

At the moment, several Shinobi were dashing around tidying it up at a breath taking pace.

"The repairs should be finished by tonight." Sarutobi explained, "In the meantime, might I suggest you do some shopping?"

He pointed at their tattered clothes, eyeing Domon's open-backed hospital gown with amusement, holding up a coin pouch.

"This should cover new clothes at least."

Fuko's eyes lit up and she grabbed her friends' arms and dashed off, Recca and Domon flailing behind her like a pair of rag dolls.

Sarutobi blinked and gave the pouch to Kagero, Fuko having forgot all about it I her mad dash to get to the shops.

"I would speak to you afterwards?" he whispered, eyeing the woman cautiously, to which

Kagero nodded, before walking in the direction of her son's cries, the rest of team Hokage at her heels.

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Fuko dragged the boy's to various clothes stores until she grew exasperated, dropping the protesting teens in the street and grabbing her hair in exasperation.

"What the hell? Where's the Gap?!" she cursed, not recognizing any of the stores. Kagero chuckled at the girl's plight, shaking her head slightly.

"This IS a ninja village," she pointed out coaxingly, "it stands to reason most of the clothes stores are shinobi based."

Grumbling the girl crossed her arms and pouted, whilst a grateful Recca and Domon promptly attempted to pop their arms back into place.

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After a brief shopping spree, the trio finally obtained the proper shinobi garb.

Recca was donning a full shinobi outfit similar to the one he wore during the mission to Kurei's mansion, except this time he was sporting the Konoha standard black sandals, and had bandages over the bottoms of his pants.

Fuko had gotten over her initial disappointment and had purchased a pair of brown shinobi leggings and a chain-mail shirt, under which she wore a black tank top. (Think Ayame from Tenchu).

Domon had been the hardest to fit, but was now sporting a brown Shinobi outfit similar to Recca's, only with arm bracers and shin guards. (Rikimaru from wrath of heaven.)

Tokiya had opted for a simple blue Hakama and a white kimono top. Recca had commented how he looked more like a samurai than a ninja, but the swordsman simply ignored the flame wielder.

Yanagi was sporting a short-skirted kimono of a blue color, over black leggings; she also wore Chinese style shoes, rather than the traditional shinobi boots.

Koganei had managed to find himself a red shirt with the kanji for 'game' on the back and was content to wear it with a pair of shorts.

Ganko made do with similar attire, though hers was green and had 'puppet'.

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Recca smirked up at Domon, grinning at how well the giant seemd to take to the shinobi look.

"Whadd'ya think big guy? I think it suits ya!"

Domon nodded, posing in front of the mirror, before frowning awkwardly at the back of his outfit.

"Hey," he muttered, "how come Koganei gets a symbol and we don't?"he asked, causing Kagero to chuckled at the teen's pout.

"The children of this village tend to prefer more colorful themes;" she explained, "you can customize them as you see fit once we get home."

Domon shrugged, accepting the answer, whilst Mikagami coughed to gain their attention.

"It's late," he commented delicately, pointing up at the reddening sky, "we should head back..."

At that moment a monstrous growl knocked the swordsman off his feet. Domon flushed, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Sorry, haven't eaten since," he blinked in confusion, "well, the night before the fight with Kurei."

Recca's face grew solemn at the mention of his brother, before snapping back to cheerful as he patted Domon on the back.

"Domon's stomach's right;" he called out, "its chow time!"

Mikagami twitched at the sheer absurdity of it all.

'Animals!" he hissed, glaring at his teammates, "They're all animals!'

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Ichiraku Teuchi of Ichiraku ramen smiled as the trio before him inhaled their bowls of Ramen, while their colleagues looked on in shock.

"This is sooooo gooooood!" Fuko moaned as she lowered her bowl, feeling an enjoyable shiver go up her spine, "Food this good should be a sin…"

Domon grunted in agreement, as he put away his tenth bowl, currently leading the pack by two, with Recca catching up. Mikagami snorted and slurped his noodles up, trying not to wince at the sounds his two teammates were making.

Yanagi giggled and leaned over, napkin in hand.

"Ano, Recca-kun?"

As he paused, she wiped his cheek and smiled cutely, holding up the napkin.

"There was some broth on your face."

Recca flushed scarlet as Mikagami fumed silently, Domon and Fuko grinning evilly at his embarrassment.

At that minute, a man with a scar across his nose and a blonde in an orange jumpsuit entered.

"Ossan! One bowl of Miso ramen!" the blonde yelled, pulling up a stool and grinning.

"Ah Naruto! Good to see you!" Ayame called out, the chef's daughter beaming at the village troublemaker fondly.

"Is that my favorite customer?" Ichiraku called out rhetorically, before smiling at the blonde, "Saw what you did to the monument," he grinned, "those old faces never looked better!"

Iruka coughed, a slight grin on his face, as he spoke up.

"Ichiraku-san, you really shouldn't say things like that, you'll only encourage him."

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The blonde snickered, a very fox-like grin on his face, as Recca looked at him and smirked.

"You're the one that did all the graffiti we saw earlier?" he asked with a smirk, "Nice."

He frowned in thought, holding his chin gently.

"Though it lacked a little…I dunno…spark."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the teen as he continued, smirking evilly.

"You coulda at least wrote a few rude words up there."

"Recca!" Kagero chastised, slapping the back of his head lightly, the teen grinned and smiled apologetically as Naruto cackled.

"BRILLIANT! I'll do that next time!"

"YOU MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT!" Iruka yelled, his eyes bulging out of his sockets, pupil-less.

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The travelers returned to the renovated safe house where they each set about choosing their own rooms.

Recca and Domon were bunking together to give Kagero her own room, as were Fuko and Yanagi; Mikagami had closed himself in a room and didn't show up for the rest of the evening; Kaoru had wanted to bunk with Yanagi but a brief fight with Recca ended with him being dragged off to his room, followed by a laughing Ganko and smiling Reiran.

After sorting out their things, the group got into their nightly routine.

Recca and Domon got into a fistfight over who got top bunk, which Recca won after a deciding round of janken. Fuko and Yanagi sat up swapping stories, laughing at jokes, which caused the assorted males to sneeze in confusion. Kagero gazed at the moon through the paper door in her room and sighed, remembering how she would sit next to Ouka-sama like this for hours. Mikagami meditated in his room, trying to clear his mind before turning in. Kaoru was still unconscious after the beating Recca gave him, so he didn't have much to say. Reiran tucked him into bed beside a tired Ganko, smiling as the girl cuddled up to the boy and went to sleep.

Meanwhile…

Across town, in a run down apartment, Uzumaki Naruto ripped the umpteenth poster off his door telling him to die and tossed it to the side, along with the others. Sliding into his bed after getting changed, the blonde tried not to shiver at the chill.

'Landlord turned the heating off again.' he muttered, curled up tightly under the thin cover as wind whistled through the cracks around the window.

'Bastard.'

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Breakfast at the safe house was an interesting affair.

Recca and Domon were literally butting heads over the last sardine, which Mikagami swiped and munched on when they weren't looking. Fuko was egging the two on while Yanagi was trying to stop them. Kaoru was nursing a bump on the noggin and Ganko was cheerfully eating away, while Reiran and Kagero worked in the kitchen.

"Ano, mina-san, aren't you going to be late?" the immortal kunoichi called out, causing the assorted group to stare at the clock.

Reiran chuckled as the dust cloud died down, Recca's faint cries of farewell dying as well. Kagero smiled and bowed to the puppet.

"Could you watch the house?" she asked, "I must speak to Sarutobi-san today…"

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Iruka sighed as he walked into the classroom, shaking his head in exasperation.

'Six late entries, getting into the final year," he muttered, "they're either very good or Hokage-sama's age is catching up to him.'

Looking up at the sound of the door opening he noticed a young man with a bang covering his eye in the hallway.

"Where are the others?" the chunin asked as the boy bowed in greeting

"Ano, I don't know," he muttered in reply, "they appear to be late."

'Well at least HE's polite,' Iruka thought with a smile, 'if the others are anything like this I shouldn't have a problem.'

"Come on in and introduce yourself then." He said, smiling warmly. The boy nodded and bowed to the class, smiling at them as he did so.

"My name is Ku Saicho, Hajime-mashta."

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Several girls developed hearts in their eyes, some guys as well due to Saicho's rather effeminate features. Inuzuka Kiba, for example, had to suppress a glowing flush, whilst chanting a mantra in his head.

'He's a guy…he's a guy…'

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Iruka nodded, running an eye over the class to make sure he had their attention.

"Saicho-kun will be joining us for the remainder of the year, along with some others who have yet to arrive ye-what the?"

The chunin had noticed that the chalk was rattling on the stand, and that his coffee mug was shaking towards the edge of the table, as if caught in an earthquake.

At that moment, the door to his classroom slammed open and a four people tumbled through, landing in a messy pile at the entrance.

"ARGH! Domon you fat-ass! Get the hell off me!"

"Who you callin' fat Hanabishi!? This is pure muscle!"

"Daijoubu-des, Yanagi-san?"

"H-hai Mikagami-sempai."

"Domon! Recca! Knock it off!"

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A vein began to bulge in Iruka's head as he covered his face in his hands, shaking it in miserty as he tried tio recall if any dieties owed him any favors and came up short.

'Why me?' he whimpered, looking towards the heavens, 'Dear sweet Kami-sama why me?!'

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Well there it is, the second chapoter of Hokage no Isan!

If you're wondering why I had them change clothes, it's because it suits them better than the normal clothes they wear, and are less prone to getting destroyed, just look at all the crap Naruto's oragne jumpsuit's taken over the years!

As for Kaoru, well, he had to be put back because Sarutobi thought he'd benefit more, but the others were most definitely too old to start from the begining.

Anyway, send the reviews to the usual place!


	3. Chapter 3

man, I'm really starting to hate college, it always puts the whammy on any fun.

Anywho, here's yet another installment of...Hokage no Isan! Can Iruka survive having these guys in his class?!

* * *

Academy life; introductions and first impressions.

"Sorry about that!" Recca said, grinning from ear to ear; "We were late so we made a dash for it, until 'someone' tripped over his own two feet."

"Eat my balls Hanabishi." Domon growled, earning a smack to the head from Fuko, causing Recca to snicker.

"Anyway, my names Hanabishi Recca!" he grinned, "I love everything there is about ninjas!"

Iruka snorted, shaking his head dismissively.

'Well he certainly came to the right place…'

Fuko posed cutely, a finger poised at her lip as she winked at the classroom.

"I'm Kirisawa Fuko," she greeted, "Be gentle with me okay?"

A couple of guys blushed at the girl's words, which of course was Fuko's intention.

Domon grinned and pointed at himself with his thumb, unintentionally, (Yeah right) looming behind his beloved Fuko.

"I'm Ishijima Domon! Don't nobody mess with Fuko while I'm here!"

People sweatdropped as they looked up at the mass of muscle, several unconciously sharing the same thought:

'This guy's a teenager?!'

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In the wake of the giant's loud declaration, Yanagi smiled cutely and bowed at the waist, placing her hands on her knees in introduction.

"I'm Sakoshita Yanagi…Hajime-mashta!"

Tokiya frowned at the number of heart shaped eyes leveled at the girl and stepped in front of her.

"Mikagami Tokiya," he said as an introduction, before leveling his coldest look at the males, "Touch her and die."

He smirked as the looks of ardour gave way to looks of fear, nothing having ever stood up to ione of his patented glares.

It would have been all the more effective if Recca exploding at him hadn't ruined the mood.

"THAT'S MY LINE MIKAGAMI!" the teen yelled, only to be ignored, "HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU PRETTY BOY!"

"Hn? Is the monkey upset?" Tokiya mocked offhandedly, enticing yet another outraged explosion.

"I'LL KILL YOU!!"

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As the gang either egged the two on or attempted to calm them, Iruka's vein was dancing a samba on his forehead, when he finally snapped.

'Teacher technique: Giant evil head no jutsu!'

"URUSEI! BAKAYARO!"

The classroom had grown quiet, the assorted teens, and Iruka's students, huddled in a corner, chibified.

'Kowaii…seriously Kowaii…' ran through the collective minds of Iruka's traumatized students, those with weak bladders effectively relieving themselves at the sight.

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After they managed to recover, the class got back to the lesson at hand.

Recca and Domon were seated near the back, next to the blonde from the ramen stand, who introduced himself, quite loudly, as Uzumaki Naruto. Fuko ended up next to Saicho, who was trying to speak with a white-eyed young girl who was flushing.

Yanagi ended up with a blonde girl with blue eyes named Ino, who promptly began a one sided conversation, with Yanagi stuttering to get a word in edgewise.

Mikagami sat next to a raven-haired youth who scowled at everyone, he ignored the boy mostly, but he could sense the aura of death around him.

'The posture…the look in his eyes…' he snorted delicately, 'another who lost something precious…I suppose I can relate.'

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Iruka started the class off by talking about the history of the village, starting off with the great shinobi wars, and the two brothers of the leaf.

"Shodai sama, the first hokage, was a gifted man who raised this village with his own two hands."

He smiled at the students, watching as they leaned forward in eagerness, before pointing towards the Hokage monumet, visible from the window.

"Legends say he caused the mountain to rise to guard the village's back, whether that is true or not is speculative," the chunin held up a finger, "however, his ability to perform Mokuton jutsu is what founded the hidden leaf village."

He winked at his students conspiratorially, a sneaky little glint in his usually cheerful eyes.

"The forest that surrounds the village on all sides?" he prompted, "Shodai-sama raised that himself in one night."

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Recca's eyes were bulging out of their sockets at this revelation.

"Man, Mokuren's got nothing on this guy!" he whispered to Domon, who nodded in amazement, whilst down in the front row, Mikagami frowned, intrigued at the revelation.

'Could this world posses madogu as well?' the swordsman wondered, 'Or is it a different form of magic?'

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As if reading his mind, Mokagami's questions would be answered in the next lesson: basic Ninjutsu.

Recca was literally bouncing off the walls when Iruka used Henge to transform into the Hokage and back, before freaking as Iruka promptly asked the class to line up to perform the jutsu themselves.

Most of the class managed to pull it off, but a few only ended up making fools of themselves. The Hokage team was at first stumped by the concept of chakra, until Mikagami made the realization that it was no different than the power they felt whenever using their madogu.

It took them a few moments of practice between watching the other members of the class, but they managed to replicate the feeling to the extent they felt confident enough to perform the technique.

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Domon did fairly well for a beginner, managing to change into a decent replication, except for a few problems; Iruka had to suppress a chuckle at the sight of a six-foot, Mohawk-sporting version of sandaime with a nose-ring, telling Domon to keep practicing, but he'd done really well for a first-timer.

Fuko did well, actually making a perfect physical copy, save for the fact the henge was still wearing her clothes, causing the poor teacher to retch and shudder at the sight of his venerable leader in a kunoichi outfit, knowing he'd be seeking the aid of a memory-supression jutsu before the day was out.

Recca, of course, pulled the technique off perfectly, except for the tekko on his arm and the bandage on his cheek. The boy promptly began taunting his classmates, who proceeded to kick the crap out of him in retaliation, causing Iruka to supress a chuckle.

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Unfortunately, poor Yanagi failed dismally, having never had any form of training; the best she managed was changing her clothes to the Hokage's robes.

Iruka smiled and patted the saddened girl on the head reassuringly, prompting her to look up at his caring face.

"It's okay;" he assured her, "you don't have to master it on the first try."

Yanagi smiled at the teacher's words and walked back to her seat, still wearing the faux Hokage robes, causing her to trip over the hem with her usual lack of grace. Startled by the girl's sudden fall, Iruka moved to catch her concern showing in his eyes, only for Recca to get there first.

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Diving forwards and skidding his face across the floor in the process, Recca managed to catch the startled girl on his back, liting his bleeding face up in concern.

"Daijoubu-da, Hime?!" he grunted, feeling his back creak in discomfort, not entirely from his sudden actions.

'Did she put on weight?' he thought treacherously, knowing better than to question the girl out loud. Yanagi flushed, getting off her protector quickly and bowing shyly.

"A-arigato, Recca-kun."

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Iruka sighed, shaking his head at the boy's antics, secretly commiting that scene to memory.

"Hanabishi, you better get that face looked at," he muttered good naturedly, pointing to the door, before turning to the class and nodding, "Mikagami, you're next."

Tokiya snorted as the injured teen left to see the nurse, before performing the technique perfectly, having the most precise control over his energies. Iruka nodded and marked him off, nodding as Recca shuffled back in, holding his back slightly.

"Finally, Naruto." Iruka looked up at the blonde in trepidation, "Perform the henge no jutsu."

Naruto grinned evilly at the chunin and made a seal.

There was a poof of smoke and when it cleared a busty blonde girl was winking at the hapless sensei, her…extremities hidden behind convenient smoke trails as she cooed sweetly.

Iruka went shooting backwards, courtesy of a massive nosebleed, and he wasn't the only one.

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Recca lay twitching on the ground, caught completely off guard by the sheer audacity of the blonde's technique. Mikagami's face lost it's composed look and he turned redder than a sun burnt tomato.

Domon was, surprisingly, still standing, though the flush on his face showed he wasn't completely unaffected by the blonde's antics.

Fuko was laughing her ass of at the sight of Recca on the floor, while Saicho turned his head to the side, embarrassed. Yanagi was also red faced from embarrassment, though she spared a worried look at Recca as he continued to spasm as a result of the blonde's jutsu.

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Naruto changed back after a few seconds and laughed at his victims, holding his stomach as he effectively doubled over.

"I call that one, Oiroke no jutsu!" the blonde cackled, bowing at his audience, before Iruka, who now had tissues stuck up his nostrils, rammed his fist into Naruto's head.

"BAKAYARO!" the chunin roared, pulling off his 'giant evil head' jutsu, "DON'T GO AROUND INVENTING STUPID TECHNIQUES!"

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During lunch, the team sat together, not wanting to draw attention to themselves.

Fuko was making lewd jokes at how easily Recca had, 'succumbed to temptation', starting a brief fistfight that ended in the two lying on the floor, exhausted.

"Hey…how come Domon wasn't affected?" Recca asked, eyeing the giant suspiciously. Domon blinked, and then shrugged confusedly.

"Dunno…it sort of reminded me of the fight with Aki at the Urabatosatsujin," he muttered, "I knew it was an illusion, so the technique didn't really bother me."

Mikagami snorted, looking up at the giant appraisingly, something he very rarely did.

"It would seem that simple illusions no longer affect you." he deduced, wincing as he noticed Recca's smirk, as the enjutsu-shi nudged him in the ribs in a provocative manner.

"Look whose trying to be cool Mr. 'beetroot face.'" Recca taunted, "I saw how you reacted to Naruto's jutsu!"

"Like the floor kissing monkey has any right to say anything." Tokiya retorted frostily, prompting yet another erruption from the hot headed teen.

"WHO YOU CALLLING A MONKEY?!?!"

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Domon and Fuko sighed as the two got into another argument, which Recca lost, badly.

"Man," Fuko muttered, cleaning out her ear dissinterestedly, "when's he gonna learn, you just can't beat Tokiya in a verbal argument."

Domon nodded, not evening knowing how to PRONOUNCE some of the words Tokiya used when he got snippy, let alone use them against the swordsman.

At that moment, the giant spotted Naruto sitting off by himself, looking down at his feet in a sad manner.

"Isn't that Uzumaki?" He asked, earning the attention of the group, Fuko raising an eyebrow, interest shining in her eyes at the sight of the blonde troublemaker.

"Why's he sitting there by himself?" she wondered, "Doesn't strike me as the loner type…"

As the group watched, a ball landed near the swings, causing the blonde to look up.

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Naruto stood up and picked the ball up, smiling up at the figure that came towards him.

"This your ball?" he asked hopefully, "Mind if I-?"

The older boy's fist collided with the blonde's cheek, causing him to fall on his backside.

"Who said you could touch my ball Uzumaki?" he growled, cracking his knuckles, as a group of guys jogged over, grinning as soon as his buddies had lined up behind him. "Probably tryin' ta steal it weren't ya?!" he demanded, knowing this wasn't the case at all.

Before Naruto could answer back the youth began kicking him, his teammates quickly joining in.

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Mikagami winced at the sight, disgusted at what he weas seeing.

'Common thugs," He muttered, 'it would seem they appear everywhere…like cockroaches.'

He blinked as a sudden chill passed over him, looking over his shoulder in time to see the looks on Recca, Domon, and especially Fuko's faces, before raising an eyebrow.

'This isn't going to be pretty.' The swordsman predicted, watching dissinterestedly as the trio stalked forwards.

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"Heh, look at the brat, he's all dirtied up." One of the bully's teammates crowed, nudging Naruto with his toe, "Think we should wash him off?"

He reached down to undo his zipper, just as he noticed the looks of horror on his teammates faces.

"What's wrong with you guys?" he growled, "Its just Uzumaki!"

A split second later he felt the sheer killing intent that was oozing from behind him, before a hand clamped down on his head in a vice grip.

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Domon loomed over the bully, his face shadowed and solemn, like a statue of some immovable deity.

"Hey what the hell? Lemme go!" the bully screamed, twisting round to get out of the giant's grip; he may as well have tried to lift the monument with his toes.

Domon stood still for a moment, before raising his head, an insane light showing in his eyes, grinning maniacally at his captive, who could only be considered fortunate in that he couldn't see waht was coming.

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The bully's friends turned and ran as the screaming started, only to be nailed to the floor by their shoes, courtesy of several picks hurled by Fuko. The Wind user smiled sweetly at them, looking cute and dangerous at the same time as she leapt out of the tree she'd been hiding in.

"You boy's weren't doing what we think you were doing...were you?" she asked coyly, touching her lower lip with one of her picks. Before they could answer she kneed one so hard in the balls they started to bleed, roundhouse kicking another in the side of the head.

Recca sucker punched one as he tried sneaking up on her, before hurling one of his gunpowder balls at another as he tried to escape.

The leader managed to break free and attempted to make a dash for it, until Domon used his captive teammate as a shot put, bringing the creep down in a tangle of limbs.

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Tying the group together with a hose, the trio loomed over them menacingly.

"Scumbags," Domon growled, cracking his knuckles audibly, "Picking on a kid half their size…"

A vein was pulsing on the Giants forehead, showing his agitation; his eyes beady and animalistic, which only added to the raw terror running through the thugs' minds.

Recca twitched in barely restrained fury, his right arm becoming hazy as he attempted to keep his inner flame from blazing out.

"And on top of that, they were gonna pee on him." He growled, eyes narrowing.

Fuko played with her picks, smiling at their captives in an oddl catlike manner.

"What should we do with them?" she purred, almost seductively, "Cut off their dicks?"

Her teammates grinned maliciously at the idea, causing the bullies to whimper and cross their legs in a futile attempt to protect their 'package', until Recca cut Fuko off with a sigh.

"No…" he muttered, shaking his head, causing the bullies looked up in hope, which plummeted, as the look on the flame user's face grew sadistic, oddly reminiscent of Kurei.

"I got a much better idea…" Recca sneered.

The sound of screaming and pounding meat soon graced the air in a melodious symphony worthy of Morino Ibiki.

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Naruto woke up to find he was lying on a bench, surrounded by concerned faces. This was a new experience for the blonde, being quite used to waking up in the gutter covered in piss and God only knows what else.

"He's coming round." A girl's voice said, causing him to look up.

'That new girl…Yanagi-san?' he thought in confusion, before a rumbling voice, not anyway feminie, brought him back to his senses.

"You okay Uzumaki?"

The blonde looked up to find the concerned faces of Recca, Fuko and Domon gazing down at him in concern, Tokiya was off to the side, not seemingly interested in his welfare, but close enough to hear what was being said.

"Recca? Fuko? Domon?" he wondered, looking around at the group in confusion, "What happened?"

Recca frowned, shaking his head in disgust.

"Some guys started using you as a football." The Enjutsu-shi replied, before smirking, "But we showed 'em a thing or too."

Naruto blinked and looked around, still as confused as before as he saw the empty field.

"Ano…where are they?" he asked, prompting Fuko to grin and ruffle the blonde's hair playfully.

"Relax," the Fuujin mistress coaxed, "we warned them that if they ever showed their faces near you again…"

She trailed off, smiling at the blonde sweetly, though it still caused him to shiver.

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Imagine the shock on Mizuki's face when he found several seniors lying in a crater, buck-naked and looking like they'd lost a fight with a bijuu. The words, 'Asshole', 'Dickless' and 'Coward' were tattooed on their bodies in permanent marker, and there was a pile of burning clothes in the middle of the crater.

It didn't help that they seemed to be in a rather…intimate position either.

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Yanagi smiled as she helped Naruto sit up, she'd healed most of the bruises while he'd been unconscious, but couldn't help worrying about the boy, seeing as he'd been a lot thinner than she'd thought he'd be under that orange jumpsuit.

"Naruto-san," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Daijoubu-deska?"

Naruto flushed and nodded, unused to attention from a member of the opposite gender that didn't include screeching or pummeling.

"H-hai…arigatou…" he stammered, earning a grunt from Domon, as he clenched a fist in front of his face.

"Worthless punks," the giant growled, "anyone tries that again, you just let us know, ya hear?"

Naruto blinked up at the giant, then nodded in confirmation as Recca grinned and held up the ball the punks had been using, twirling it on his finger.

"Care for a game?"

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It was the best lunch break Naruto ever had.

Recca managed to convince Saicho to play as referee and decided on girls versus boys match. Fuko had raised hell saying it wasn't fair, since even with Ganko the boy's outnumbered the girls. Recca countered by saying they could have Tokiya, since he looked girly enough to pass as one, Mikagami had scowled at the shinobi, but got his revenge by scoring the first goal.

Naruto got on pretty well with Koganei, despite the younger boy's age, the two proving to be a pretty effective tag team.

Domon put up a decent defense, his massive size proving an asset that Recca took well into account. That is until Koganei made a comment about the giant being fat, which resulted in him chasing the nimble thirteen year old around the makeshift pitch.

When the bell rang for class to resume, the grin on Naruto's face seemed ready to split it in two.

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"Remember class, the graduation exam is only a few months away." Iruka lectured sternly, "I suggest you all buckle down as much as you can and start revising your notes and techniques, that goes double for you Naruto!"

He yelled the last part at the blonde who was busy laughing at the antics of Domon and Recca as they tried to scribble on each other's faces whilst holding each other off.

"Hai sensei!" Naruto yelled, saluting cheekily, "I'll graduate this year for sure! Then it's only a matter of time before I become Hokage!"

Recca raised an eyebrow, and grinned, pointing at himself.

"Not if I get there first!" he countered boastfully, causing an argument to break out between the blonde and himself.

Domon sighed, rubbing his head in exasperation.

"Hanabishi…stop teasing him." He muttered, looking somber. Recca raised an eyebrow at how unnaturally serious Domon looked, before the Giant's face split into a grin.

"He's too short to be Hokage!"

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Mikagami rolled his eyes as the trio got into a half-hearted fight, causing Iruka to yell at them for seemed to be the umpteenth time that day.

"Bakas."

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As the students filed out, Iruka asked the new arrivals to wait behind for a few minutes.

"Here are the scrolls containing all the materials required for this year's written exam." He explained, placing several scrolls on the table, looking serious. "Normally I wouldn't do this but you ARE late starters, so you'll need all the help you can get."

Recca grinned and grabbed a scroll, saluting the chunin with it in a cheeky manner.

"Arigatou sensei!" he chirped, making for the door, "C'mon Hime!"

Yanagi bowed to the chunin and made her way after her protector/love interest, followed by their friends.

Iruka sighed as he watched them leave the school grounds and sat down to enjoy his coffee. Scant seconds later, the Hokage entered, looking interested.

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"Well, what did you think of them?" the elder asked, making a gestured to keep the chunin from getting out of his seat. Iruka smiled, grateful to not have to stand up, setting his coffee mug down carefully as he pondered his response.

"To be honest, I was quite surprised," he admitted, "they mastered basic chakra manipulation pretty easily for people who have never been shinobi before…plus their chakra capacities are petty amazing."

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow, intrigued somewhat by this one statement.

"How so?" he prompted, hoping the chunin would elaborate more, which Iruka was all to happy to do after a moments contemplation.

"Recca-kun and Domon-kun's chakra levels are, if I may hazard a guess, in the high Chunin, low Jounin class." The instructor explained, causing the Hokage's eyebrow to rise in interest, "But they lack refinement, they wasted too much during the henge."

Iruka frowned in thought, touching the bridge on his nose as he tried to recall the rest of the group's performance.

"Fuko-chan's chakra is about mid-chunin level, but her control is much better than either Recca or Domon, so she balances out." he frowned in thought, nodding as he continued, "Mikagami is definitely a high chunin in regards to chakra capacity and control, he didn't even blink when I asked him to perform the bunshin jutsu, the same goes for Saicho-kun, though his heart condition has me worried."

He sighed, looking down at his coffee in concern.

"Yanagi-san is the only one at the genin level, which leads me to believe that, unlike her friends, she has had no prior combat experience."

The Hokage nodded, having been told as much earlier by Kagero.

"What would you recommend then?" he asked, causing Iruka to frown, an idea ticking away at the back of the scared chunin's head.

"I know it's a bit early to be passing judgment," he prompted, "but maybe she'd be better suited as a medical ninja?"

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Sarutobi grinned around hsi pipe, knowing full well about Yanagi's miraculous healing gift.

"I'm sure we could…find a way…" he said knowingly, causing Iruka to blink in confusion. Turning on his heel and walking to the door, Sarutobi looked over his shoulder expectantly.

"Anything else?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as Iruka paused, before smiling warmly.

"They defended Naruto in the playground," the scarred chunin added, "no-one has ever done that for him."

He smiled at the elder, nodding approvingly.

"They may be outsiders, and a little…unorthodox…" he winced at the memory of their punishment of the bullies, "but I believe they're good people, and will prove an asset to the leaf."

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The Sandaime smiled around his pipe and walked out the classroom door, waving in a dismissive manner as Iruka made to fget out of his chair.

"I'll see myself out," he assured the chunin, "good day, Iruka-kun."

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Recca gazed at the scrolls before him in growing worry; there was no way they'd manage to memorize all this in a couple of months!

"My brain hurts…" Domon said, setting down the scroll he was looking at, eyes bulged and bloodshot after reading only a few lines.

Fuko moaned and slumped over, looking exhausted after trying to understand a complex genjutsu list.

"This isn't good…" she moaned, shaking her hewad dully. Yanagi, ever the optimist, tried to cheer them up, though she felt just the same as her friends.

"Ano…it isn't so bad…" she said perkily, inwardly wincing at the aura of gloom that covered her normally cheerful friends.

"Yanagi is right." Kagero agreed, entering with a fresh tray of snacks, "All you need is to organize yourselves, make a schedule."

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Recca shook his head at this statement, before blinking, looking at Tokiya interestedly.

"Wait a minute, hey Tokiya isn't studying your specialty?"

The swordsman frowned, not liking where this was going, or that look in his rival's eye.

"What of it?" he asked, just as Fuko blinked, catching onto the enjutsu-shi's idea.

"Yeah! Good plan Recca!" she cheered, lifting raising her airms in the air.

"I don't get it…" Domon muttered, tilting his head in confusion, prompting Recca to grin, pointing at the annoyed swordsman in his excitement.

"It's simple! Tokiya manages the schedule and leads the study sessions!"

Recca looked at the swordsman and nodded approvingly. "Didn't the teach say you could get into Tokyo U. back home?" he asked, looking a little put out at his one time rival's academic prowess.

Tokiya shrugged, not normally one to brag but he did pride himself on his study habits.

"Perhaps," he conceded, "I still don't see why I should tutor you all."

"I didn't say tutor Jack-ass!" Recca yelled, spiking, "I just said organize the study session!"

Tokiya smirked, enjoying the effect this had on the enjutsu-shi.

"And why should I do that?" he mocked, "Its not as if your simian brain could retain anything."

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Recca was about to blow a fuse when Yanagi cut in, placing a hand on the swordsman's shoulder.

"Ano…sempai," she asked, "won't you consider it?"

Tokiya looked at the girl and his face softened.

"…I won't be an easy leader."

Yanagi's expression cheered up as Recca, Fuko and Domon high-fived.

"In fact," the swordsman added, "now's a good a time as any, let's start reviewing the first scroll."

The trio face-faulted, causing a startled Yanagi to gaze at them in wonder and Kagero to sigh at their antics.

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Kurei sat on a carved wooden throne, reading from a report scroll.

Since their arrival two days ago, the Uruha had set up camp in a mountainous region a days run from the crash site. Gashakura had tunneled into the side using his Magagumo, and Mokuren had managed to use his plants to hide the entryway from the outside.

Their new headquarters consisted of several large natural caverns within the mountain, which were modified thanks to the combined effort of the Uruha and his own flames melting anything that hindered them. Genjuro had discovered a breed of Fungi that gave off an eerie amount of light. Working with Mokuren they developed a newer species that could emit the same amount of light as a light bulb, and the plant man had them distributed throughout the caverns.

As it were, the Uruha were making modifications everywhere. Gashakura had intercepted a shipment of steel to somewhere called wave country and had set about reinforcing the chambers with the metal. Neon and her sisters were constantly trying to find tools and materials to 'brighten up' the base, mostly things stolen from passing merchants.

While not exactly the luxury of one of Kouran's mansions, the base was their new home.

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Ouka's eldest son looked up as Raiha entered his chamber, pushing the cloth door aside.

"Your report?" he asked, causing the ninja to bow respectfully.

"Kurei-sama, I have discovered that we are on the border between a place called Konohagakure and an island nation called Kirigakure, both places are ninja villages." He paused to let this sink in, "However, Konoha is further from us, and more heavily guarded."

Raiha looked his master in the eye, nodding once.

"I also understand that Kirigakure is still recovering from a coup, and their strongest warriors are currently outlaws." he explained, phoping that Kurei would consider the matter before making his decision.

Kurei merely closed his eyes in thought for a few moments and then nodded, looking at Raiha commandingly.

"Gather the Juushinshu in the main chamber."

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As Raiha left, Kurei looked over at the sleeping form of his mother and sighed, shaking his head sadly as he turned to his desk, face impassive.

"Forgive me, Hahaue," he begged, standing and picking up the new mask that lay at his desk, a pale expresionless one that bore a single outline of an eye. The enjutsu-shi smirked at how it seemed to reprimand him with it's lifeless stare.

"This is the only way I know how to act..."

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Zabuza was reaching for his sake bottle when a crack developed in the side, causing Haku to beam at him.

"That doesn't look good." the masked youth joked as Zabuza frowned, tossing the empty thing at the corpse of one of their pursuers.

"Let's keep moving." The mist swordsman muttered, heading back to report to the Mizukage about the success of their mission.

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Kurei nodded at the assembled Juushinshu, mask firmly in place, reflecting the errie light of the caves.

"Uruha," he called out "prepare yourselves for battle…our target is the capital of Kirigakure no Sato."

He gestured with his right hand, his masked gaze landing upon the ones he sought.

"Raiha, Mokuren and Genjuro," he called out, "you will accompany me."

Kurei eyed the massive Gashakura and nodded, pointing at him commandingly.

"You and Neon shall be in charge until my return." he ordered, "Protect this base until further orders arrive."

The two figures nodded, arms across their chests.

"Hai, Kurei-sama!"

Kurei nodded and turned to the exit, his chosen warriors lining up behind him. Mokuren was snickeriung in a diusgusted manner, clenching his new arm in sadistic glee.

"This is gonna be sweeeeet!"

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DUN-DUN-DAAAAAAA!

Kurei has made his moive! How will this affect the shinobi nations?

Will this have anything to do with Konoha?! And will Recca reign in his urge to smack Tokiya long enougn to pass the exams?!

Tune in next time to find out!


	4. Chapter 4

Seriously, things are starting to heat up eh? I mean, Kurei's making a move on Kirigakure, the academy exam is coming up, and so far team Hokage can't even perform the henge without a few quirks.

Let's see how they do in this volume eh?

* * *

Graduation and acceptance; Friends stand together!.

Life for team hokage had gotten quite hectic in the months leading up to graduation; during class, they would take down every little detail as best they could, desperate to cover as much ground as possible. It didn't help that Naruto went out of his way to pull off random acts of hilarity, be it gluing Iruka to his chair or transforming into a girl whilst in the boy's locker room.

This last one would have ended badly if Domon hadn't been there to pull the jocks off the scared blonde, making sure too crush a few balls as he did so. Needless to say, Naruto made a point of knowing exactly where his giant friend was before pulling his pranks from then on.

At home though, Mikagami lived true to his words as he put them through what Recca lovingly christened, 'The study marathon from Hell.'

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"Domon, that equation is wrong." Tokiya reprimanded, pointing over the giant's shoulder, "You forgot to factor in the wind resistance of the kunai."

Domon bobbed his head and corrected the mistake, while Recca cursed, having been copying the giant when Tokiya wasn't looking. Fuko raised a hand and the swordsman looked to her as she held up a problem.

"I see," he muttered, "you're about right, though the correct answer here would be to…"

Kagero smiled at the group as she closed the sliding door; they had been going over their notes since they got back, stopping only to grab a bite to eat. After about two or three weeks, they started to make some headway.

Domon's academics had been just as bad as they'd been at home, and his genjutsu was terribly poor. His Ninjutsu was about average, and the only real strength he had was Taijutsu, seeing as there were very few genin that could bench press the combined weight of their classmates.

Fuko's ninjutsu was average, and her high speed in Taijutsu kept her ahead of most lessons, but like her comrades she was hopeless at genjutsu. And as for Recca…well as a ninja fanatic his skills in ninjutsu basics were impressive, and his Taijutsu was slightly ahead of Domon's, but like his friends he sucked at genjutsu without Rui's assistance, and the wily female dragon wasn't offering it any time soon.

Now though, under Mikagami's tutelage, the group seemed to be pulling through.

Domon rarely made mistakes during his equations; true he was no genius, but he could at least DO them now, and his ninjutsu had shot up to the point he could pull of the Kawarimi and bunshin flawlessly, Tokiya didn't bother with genjutsu, since he wasn't an expert himself.

Fuko's ninjutsu and Taijutsu developed greatly, and she began looking into some of the genjutsu scrolls in the library, hoping to find any particularly sadistic ones; Recca and Domon would come to fear the 'Magen: Narakumi no jutsu' when it eventually wound up in the girl's hands.

Recca was, well…Recca; His academics developed slowly, and he prided himself on his above average ninjutsu, and after suffering a pants-wetting experience at the hands of the Narakumi, decided to seek Rui's advice in genjutsu training during meditation. Surprisingly, Homura offered advice for Domon, advising the giant to try to develop his speed and technique, since he was plenty strong already.

Yanagi took to the medical ninjutsu scrolls the Hokage provided like a fish to water, and her chakra control rose to the level it rivaled even Tokiya's, much to the swordsman's pleasant surprise.

However, one of the most interesting developments in their lives was the inclusion of Naruto into their study sessions.

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After bumping into them at the ramen stand on various occasions, the blonde had quickly made friends with the group as a whole, and was even invited to study with them at the house, something he was in dire need of if what his practice tests were any indication.

Kagero had welcomed the blonde with open arms, glad that Recca had made at least one new friend in the village, though Naruto was still prome to blushing in her presence, not being used to attractive older women hugging him in such an affectionate manner.

Mikagami on the other hand, often felt like strangling the hyperactive little twit, wondering how the hell someone could have lasted so long at a ninja academy with scores as low as Naruto's.

Not to mention the fact that his bloodpreassure had apparently shot up ever since the blonde horror had joined their study group.

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"For the last time, stop eating while you study!" the normally stoic swordsman yelled, whapping the blonde over the head with a harisen he'd apparently pulled out of thin air. Naruto whimpered as Reiran, an apologetic look in her eyes, took away the instant ramen the boy had been slurping behind a stack of scrolls he was supposed to be committing to memory.

"But I'm hungry!" Naruto complained, attempting to pull off his patented, 'Puppy-eyes no jutsu' in an endeavor to endear himself to Tokiya, only to recieve yet another blow to the cranium, the swordsman being immune to such tricks, unless it was Yanagi who used the technique.

Recca looked up from his textbooks at the commotiuon, before sneaking a glance to the clock on the wall, nodd ing at the swordsman to catch his attention.

"He's got a point ya know," he pointed out, thumbing at the clock in a neutral manner, "it's almost time for lunch."

Mikagami scowled at the looks of agreement on the others faces, except Yanagi's of course and shook his head, laughing mockingly.

"Hn, feeding time at the zoo then."

The group, as a whole, restrained themselves from putting the teen into a coma, as it would only hinder them in the long run.

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By a unanimous decision, meaning they ignored Mikagami's protests, the group had made Ichiraku ramen their standard meeting place to sit, relax and pig out, which is what they were currently doing. That is, Recca, Domon and Naruto were, Fuko was restraining herself and Mikagami and Yanagi were quite content with one, maybe two bowls tops.

"Domon?" Recca asked, swallowing a mouthful of noodles, "How's speed training going?"

The giant sighed after lowering his bowl, looking dejected.

"Not good." he admitted, "I get the feeling I'm getting slower just running around the town every day."

"Homura said you should work on your technique," Tokiya muttered thoughtfully, "why don't you try to find some Taijutsu specialists?"

Domon blinked, brightening up slightly at the swordsman's suggestion.

"Yeah, that sounds like an idea!" he agreed, before slumping dejectedly, "but where the heck am I gonna find someone like that?"

On the other side of Konoha, Maito Gai sneezed, just as Naruto slurped up his noodles and grinned at the giant mischievously.

"You know what you need? A good old prank to get the blood flowing!"

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Unfortunately for the village, the blonde horror had quickly gotten Domon and Recca involved in his favorite hobby of pranking everyone in the village and their grandmother.

The three would pick their target a week in advance, then 'lure him from the herd' as Recca put it, before springing the trap.

It was not uncommon for the 'prankster trio', as they had been branded by the general public, to be escorted to the Sandaime's office under ANBU guard, in order to prevent them from being beaten to death by their victims, though it was actually even more uncommon for them to get caught in the act, and with Naruto's uncanny memory for the various escape routes that Konoha provided, they more often than not got clean away.

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Recca and Domon grinned and lowered their heads to Naruto's height, whispers and the occasional cackle rising from their corner, causing Mikagami to sigh in exasperation, before paying for his meal.

"Just make it back before curfew." He muttered, and led Yanagi out of the stall and back to the house, Fuko following close behind, wanting to leave the guy's to their 'Male Bonding'.

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That afternoon saw several random people exiting a café screeching about rats the size of melons, Hyuuga Hiashi being escorted off the grounds of his estate after suffering a stroke, the reason being his house had been painted a shocking shade of pink, and a very embarrassed Kiba trying to explain, at knife-point, how he'd ended up naked in the women's side of the onsen.

In other words, the trio was having quite the memorable evening, and all had been well until one of them had the bright idea of trying to prank a purple haired kunoichi in fishnets and a beige trench coat. Domon would have nightmares about snakes flying at his face and balls, and Recca prayed that Fuko didn't discover senbon needles, those picks of hers were bad enough!

Naruto, who'd been taken captive by the nut-job, stumbled back to the house later that afternoon, red in the face and trembling, muttering something about 'fishnets' before passing out in the lap of a thoroughly confused Kagero. Naturally, neither one of the three would admit that it had been their idea to target the woman in the first place.

Finally though, the big day arrived when they would have to sit the test.

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Recca grumbled as he slumped against the desk, a haggard expression on his features.

"Thank god it's finished," he muttered, "I may love being a ninja, but I never thought there was a way to make it…BORING!"

Domon groaned, face against the desktop; they had just completed the written section of the genin exams, and were enjoying the brief interlude as the sheets were collected.

"I think my brain went to sleep." Naruto moaned, holding his head in his hands, "Those questions were way harder than normal!"

"Of course they were, it's a test." Mikagami muttered, face calm and composed. He'd finished the test in less than five minutes, much to Recca's ire.

"Still!" the blonde insisted, "How the heck am I supposed to know the amount of ninja needed to destroy a stone outpost, compared to the amount needed to capture it?!"

Recca raised an eyebrow, interested despite his numb brain cells.

"I don't remember that one…" he muttered, as Domon crossed his eyes, looking serious and confused at the same time.

"…Nope, doesn't ring any bells." The giant agrred, before resuming his brain-dead position on the desktop.

Tokiya frowned in suspicion; he'd certainly never answered such a question, and doubted that any of the others had either.

'Something isn't right here…'

He stood up, waving at the chunin at the front of the class to get his attention.

"I'm going to the bathroom."

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Iruka had just come into the academy, seeing as the practical half of the exam wasn't taking place until later on, and was about to make straight for the class when he spotted Tokiya in the examiners office, scowling at what was obviously a test paper.

"Tokiya? What are you doing?" the scarred chunin asked with a frown, he hadn't pegged the boy as a cheater, and he doubted he'd take the risk of being disqualified this late in the game.

Mikagami looked up, a grim look on his face as he recognized the chunin.

"Just the man I need to see." He muttered, holding up the sheet he'd been looking at.

"This is Uzumaki Naruto's exam sheet." He explained, tossed it at the confused chunin, "Notice anything odd?" he asked, urging the chunin to read.

Iruka frowned and looked over the sheet, his eyes widened as they ran down the exam questions, shock growing per line.

"This…this can't be right!" he gasped, "No academy level student could answer these questions!"

"Precisely." Mikagami agreed, looking serious as a heart attack, "I found it odd that Naruto was given a question that none of the other students remembered taking, and seeing as I have an impressive memory for detail, I knew that question wasn't on the test the rest of us took."

He scowled softly, handsome features marred slightly at the abject discrimination towards the blonde.

"Someone was deliberately trying to fail Uzumaki Naruto."

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Iruka gaped at the teen for a moment, and then sighed resignedly, looking at the swordsman with a tired expression.

"Tell Naruto to meet me during lunch so he can retake the exam." He asked, tucking the exam sheet into his chunin vest, before scowling, "I'll make sure the Hokage sees this."

Mikagami nodded, and walked out into the hall.

"Be sure that you do," he muttered, "I may not particularly care for Uzumaki, but I don't believe in unfair treatment."

He scopwled at the paper in the older man's hands.

"Especially on such a scale."

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Naruto was about to tuck in to his instant ramen when Tokiya tapped him on the shoulder, an aloof expresion on his handsome face.

"Iruka-sensei wants to see you," the swordsman instructed, "something about you making a mistake on the test."

He walked off, not bothering to look over his shoulder at the startled blonde.

"You better hurry," he called out, "he sounded upset."

Naruto gulped, swallowing the ramen in one go, almost choking on the noodles, before dashing off to look for the scarred Chunin, the empty cup spinning on the desktop.

Recca blinked, staring at the swordsman in bewilderment.

"What were you doing in the bathroom?" he muttered, "You've been gone for half the lunch break!"

"Why do you care?" Tokiya replied, causing the flame wielder to twitch in restrained anger, as he calmly broke out the bento he'd prepared the previous night.

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When Naruto showed up at the end of lunch looking completely wasted, he growled out something about, 'retaking the fucking thing', before slumping against the desk, nursing his abused brain. Recca and Domon looked at Tokiya, suspecting he knew something about this but decided to wait until later before questioning him.

At that moment, Iruka and Mizuki entered, placing a row of Hitai-ate on the desk.

"Come up when your name is called to perform the required jutsu," Iruka called out, "you will receive your official Hitai-ate headband as proof of a passing grade."

Mizuki looked down at the list, nodding pleasantly.

"Aburame Shino, you're first."

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As time passed, the number of genin gradually decreased, and with them the number of potential genin positions were slowly filled.

Recca, Domon and Fuko pulled the exam off perfectly, though Domon felt he put a little too much chakra into the bunshin, seeing as he created ten instead of the necessary three, but Recca merely slapped him on the back and said he could worry about that later.

Saicho passed as well, followed by Tokiya, who accepted the headband and spared Iruka a passing glance. The Chunin had nodded in reply, and the two shared a silent look, before the swordsman read the note hidden under the headband.

'The Hokage has been informed that someone was trying to make sure Naruto failed.'

Tokiya smirked, walking down the hall without a care in the world. Like he'd said before, he may not have particularly care for the boy, Naruto being louder than Recca by at least ten-fold, but he hadn't put so much effort into helping the group prepare to see it ruined by some bigot's personal agenda.

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Speaking of the blonde hellraiser, when he stood forward, looking decidedly nervous, a quick catcall from Recca, Domon and Fuko got him to regain some of his confidence, though it also incited the ire of Iruka's hair trigger.

"GET OUT OF THE CLASS BAKAYAOS!" Ithe chunin roared, head filling the class from floor to ceiling. The Hokage trio made a run for it, nothing inspiring terror better than the sight of Iruka's 'giant evil head' Jutsu.

"Kids today…" the scarred chunin muttered, before turning his attention to the blonde, "Alright Naruto, perform the bunshin jutsu and you'll be done."

Naruto took a deep breath and gathered his chakra.

"Bunshin no jutsu!"

When the blonde felt the power around him fluctuate wildly, he just knew he was in trouble.

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Recca leaned against the wall, panting for breath, still shaky from Iruka's last assault on his psyche.

"I hope Mom never learns how to do that," he muttered in fear, "or Hime for that matter."

Domon shivered at the thought, wholeheartedly agreeing with his rival.

'Kagero can be creepy enough when she's upset.' He muttered, remembering when she'd slashed her jugular the first time they met.

Fuko looked round, spotting Yanagi coming out of the school, looking worried.

"Yanagi? What's up?" she asked as Recca frowned at the anxious look on his hime's face, "Did something happen?"

Yanagi looked at them, her face etched with concern as she tugged on Recca's sleeve.

"It's Naruto-kun…"

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Naruto sat on the swing, head lowered in shame and depression.

He'd tried so hard to perform the technique, only for it to backfire and create a dead looking clone. Iruka had failed him with a sad look on his face, which hurt even more than whenever the chunin had yelled at him.

Looking up at the sound of muttered voices he overheard the discussion between two women.

"Hey…that's THE kid…the only one that didn't pass."

"Hn, good, can you imagine them letting HIM become a ninja?"

"Shh! You want to get in trouble?"

Naruto winced and prepared to walk off, only to blink in surprise when someone placed a hand on his shoulder, keeping him in place. Looking up revealed the smiling faces of Recca, Domon and Fuko behind him, Yanagi hovering in the background concernedly.

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"You okay squirt?" Domon asked, causing Naruto to bat the giant's arm half-heartedly, having gotten used to the cracks at his height, something only Recca and his friends could get away with.

"Yanagi told us what happened." the giant muttered, looking upset as he glared at the women and causing them to wince. "Don't listen to those harpies, you're worth ten of anyone here."

Naruto gazed up at his giant friend in awe, before Domon promptly spoiled the moment by making a silly face.

"Except for Fuko-chan of course!"

Fuko bopped her would-be-suitor in the jaw and shook her head, smiling lightly at his antics.

"You gonna be alright?" she asked, patting the blonde's other shoulder gently, recieving a nod from Naruto, the teen somewhat comforted by his new friends' presence.

"Yeah," he muttered, "just need some time alone…"

Recca gazed at his friend, before nodding, ruffling the blonde's hair.

"You need us, just let us know." He reminded him, before watching the blonde walk off by himself, the crowd parting like the red sea as he drew near.

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Recca and co. marched down the streets, the flame wielder kicking a can as he walked.

"Poor kid," he muttered "I almost feel bad for passing."

"Tell me about it." Domon agreed, gazing at his Hitai-ate, all the joy he'd felt at getting it gone with the memory of Naruto's crestfallen face. Yanagi sighed, probably taking it the worst out of them all.

"He put so much effort into it…eh?" Recca's Hime turned her head at the sound of running feet and looked round, spotting a familiar figure running past, "Naruto-kun?"

Recca and the others looked around; sure enough the blonde was leaping from rooftop to rooftop, heading away from the Hokage tower like the devil himself was chasing him in full bondage gear.

"What's he doing?" Recca wondered, frowning in thought, "And what's with that massive scroll?"

Fuko smirked and moved forward, looking over her shoulder at the two boys.

"Care to find out?" she asked playfully, before leaping after the blonde troublemaker.

Recca nodded and smiled at Yanagi, while Domon and Fuko went on ahead.

"Hime," he asked, "tell mom we're gonna be late coming home."

He smiled at her, nodding reassuringly to stave off any concerned questions.

"Tell her we'll be back before supper!"

Yanagi tried to say something but the ninja had already vanished with his friends.

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Naruto snickered as he opened the scroll, eyes closed in their usual vulpine expression.

"Nihihihi…that was too easy!" he bragged, shaking his head at his apparent greatness

"What was?" a voice asked, right in his ear.

The blonde shrieked and leapt to his feet, spinning round to reveal a startled Recca, Domon and Fuko.

"Dammit Uzumaki!" the giant growled, rubbing his ears, "you nearly deafened me there!"

Fuko rolled her eyes and pointed at the scroll, intrigue adorning her face.

"What's that, some light reading?" she asked, causing Naruto to smirk, pointing to the scroll eagerly.

"Mizuki sensei said if I learned a jutsu from this scroll, Iruka would let me pass!" He explained hefting the massive scroll, over one shoulder, "I had to swipe it from Oyaji though."

The blonde frowned at this afterthought, not liking the idea of taking anything from the old man.

Recca snickered, already guessing how the kid had pulled this off.

"Lemme guess," he muttered, "Oiroke no jutsu?"

The grin on Naruto's face said it all, the group sharing a brief laugh at the elderly hokage's expense.

"Since we're all here, mind if we take a look?" Recca asked the blonde eagerly, "Don't wanna hog all those jutsus to yourself do ya?"

Naruto looked doubtful for a few seconds, but then smirked and nodded.

"Why not?" he shrugged, "It can't hurt to learn a few tricks, and it'd shut Sasuke-teme up anyway."

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The hokage trio had to agree with the blonde on that point.

Sasuke, the vaunted 'Sole surviving Uchiha', was the village's golden boy, and as such, had everything handed to him on a silver platter. Be it jutsu's or training tips, everyone literally fought each other to ensure that the kid got whatever the hell he wanted.

This, of course, didn't help the little sod's attitude any, as he was quite happy to let people know just how superior he was to them.

So naturally, anything that showed the arrogant prick up was good in their book.

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Opening the scroll, Naruto groaned as he read the name of the very first jutsu listed on the damn thing.

"Aw man, another stupid bunshin jutsu?" he shrugged disappointedly, "Better than nothing I guess…hey, what's this?"

Recca looked over his shoulder, before snickering at what he'd seen.

"Well-well, if it isn't Uchiha's patented Goukakyuu no jutsu…" The Enjutsu-shi grinned evilly as he ran his eyes over the instructions, "Sign of adulthood my balls, lets see what else we got…"

While Recca was scanning the section on Katon Jutsu, Domon found something interesting.

"Hanabishi," he asked cautiously, "is tree climbing a ninja art?"

Recca turned his head slightly, looking interested.

"Whadd'ya mean?" he asked, blinking as Domon pointed at the section he was looking at.

"There's a jutsu here, with a diagram of someone walking up a tree." the giant muttered.

Recca was taking notes faster than you could say 'Hime'.

"Holy crap!" he yelled, "There's a water walking jutsu too!"

"Get out!" Fuko joked, thumping the ninja, before looking at the sheet, "Holy! There really is!"

Domon was making notes as best he could, when he noticed a separate section marked 'Taijutsu techniques and chakra manipulation.' Looking around to make sure no one spotted, he quickly looked over the section and frowned in thought.

In a matter of minutes, Recca had made a list of virtually every fire technique in the scroll, Fuko had added to her genjutsu list, and Domon had made several interesting notes regarding Taijutsu.

Naruto smiled in gratitude, with his friends there to help out he'd managed to learn quite a few techniques other than the kage bunshin, including shunshin, which had sent Recca into raptures when he first saw it listed, and the Bakuretsu Kage bunshin, which Domon had accidentally mastered when trying to learn the original, much to the ire of the resident forest critters.

A rustling noise in the surrounding trees drew their attention, and Naruto panicked.

"Crap!" he hissed, "Mizuki sensei told me to come alone!"

Recca got the point and grabbed a startled Domon by the ear, dragging the giant into the bushes.

Fuko, sighing at the antics of her two friends, leapt into a tree after winking at Naruto, peering through the foliage to make sure he was all right.

To their surprise, it was Iruka who showed up, rather than Mizuki.

"Naruto! Why did you steal the scroll of seals?!" the chunin roared, obviously pissed, "This isn't a joke! You're in seriously hot water now!"

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As he listened to the Chunin's lecturing of their blonde compatriot, Recca raised an eyebrow, confused.

"Wait a sec," he muttered, "didn't Mizuki say Iruka'd pass Naruto for learning a technique from the scroll?"

Domon nodded in grim understanding; even he could see something wasn't right here.

Recca flinched, eyeing the surroundings, before looking up at the tree above them.

"Fuko," he whispered, "you see anything?"

Fuko nodded, eyes locked on another tree not too far away.

"There's someone watching them from the tree to the right…SHIT!"

Iruka pushed Naruto aside just as a hail of kunai struck where they were standing.

"Mizuki!" Recca yelped from his hiding place, glaring at the silver haired instructor, "What's he playing at?!"

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"Naruto," the silver haired chunin said with a smirk, "give me the scroll and I'll tell you a little secret about the village…why everyone hates you…mocks you…"

Recca's fists tightened, and he would have launched himself at the guy had Domon not put a hand on his rival's shoulder, restraining him from blowing their cover.

"Let's see what's going on first."

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"Why," Naruto mumbled, "why do they…"

"Hn, because of what happened on the night the Kyuubi was defeated, a decree was passed that bound everyone in the village, under penalty of death!"

Recca blinked, confused as hell.

"You ever hear of a decree like that?" he asked, nodding when Domon shrugged negatively, "Didn't think so, it must only apply to the adults."

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"The decree," Mizuki continued, "that forbids anyone from telling you the truth!"

"What truth?!" Naruto yelled, looking scared, while Iruka screamed at Mizuki to stop, but the chunin merely cackled.

"The truth is…that YOU are the Kyuubi no Kitsune!"

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Recca and co. sat stumped at the revelation as Mizuki went on to explain everything that had happened. The truth behind villagers' outright abuse of Naruto, his suffering and torment, how they were all devised to get back at him without breaking the laws set in place by the sandaime. Everything was finally revealed courtesy of the treacherous chunin instructor, as he apparently got off on the pain the words caused the blonde.

"Even the noble Iruka would admit he hated you if he were honest with himself!" Mizuki jeered, reaching for a shuriken, twirling it in his hands, "And that scroll you hold? Was the instrument of your bondage!"

He reared his arm back for a killing blow.

"No one will accept you!" he cackled, "And after stealing the scroll, I'll be a hero for killing you!"

Mizuki let the shuriken fly just as Iruka leapt in front of the stunned Naruto, shielding him with his body.

The scarred chunin coughed out blood and glared over his shoulder at his shocked former colleague.

"Mizuki…you're wrong about me…and Naruto…"

He staggered to his feet and pulled out the shuriken, wincing from the pain.

"The reason…I was so hard on Naruto," he corrected, "wasn't because of hatred for the fox…but because he's like me."

He smiled sadly at the blonde, tears in his eyes.

"Both of us grew up without parents thanks to that night…I at least had the luxury of what few memories I had of them."

Mizuki snorted, clearly unimpressed.

"Oh please," he muttered, "spare me the waterworks, after hearing the truth, the first thing the brat's gonna do is want revenge on the village."

He smirked at the injured chunin sadistically.

"We're two of a kind that way."

Iruka scowled, lips peeled back into a savage snarl.

"Naruto is…nothing like you!"

Mizuki spat on the ground, clearly disgusted with the actions of his former colleague.

"Compassion for your parents' murderer," he snorted, "how quaint, but the jigs up, I know how much you hate him."

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Naruto, feeling his world fall apart at the seams looked ready to run when Iruka spoke up, eyes shadowed.

"You're right…maybe I do hate the fox…"

The blonde sagged at this, until Iruka's next words set his face into the epitome of shock.

"But not Naruto!" Iruka countered, "Not the boy…for him I have nothing but the utmost respect."

Mizuki growled as Iruka went on praising the blonde, unaware of the hidden audience.

"He is no longer the Kyuubi no youko!" Iruka ground out, teeth clenched, "He's a citizen of Konohagakure no Sato…Uzumaki Naruto!"

Mizuki grunted and pulled out another shuriken.

"Then you can die with the student you love so much!" he yelled, readying his arm for another killing blow, only to freeze as a shadow loomed over him from behind.

To the traitor's horror, a hand the size of a small ham wrapped around his arm; the bone splintering at the elbow from the force of the grip. Screeching in pain, the silver haired chunin dropped his weapon, just as a fist rammed into his face, sending him flying across the clearing to land in a tangled heap.

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"D-Domon?!" Iruka stuttered, staring up at his massive student, completely surprised at how he had apparently appeared out of nowhere. The giant growled, a deep rumbling noise that started at the back of his throat, and pulled out his Hitai-ate, tying it around his massive bicep and tugging the knot into place.

"Well put, sensei." Fuko muttered, floating down next to the shocked Chunin, her Hitai-ate replacing her regular headband, "Couldn't have put it better ourselves, right Recca?"

The leader of the trio stepped out, Hitai-ate in his hands, as he slowly put the thing on.

"Mizuki sensei," he called out to the injured traitor, "while I appreciate everything you and Iruka sensei taught us…"

He raised his head and the three glared at the chunin, Domon cracking his knuckles and Fuko holding her picks, before pointing at the man.

"You've said something we can't forgive."

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Mizuki spat and reached for his Kunai pouch, only for Fuko's picks to slam into his arm, pinning it to a tree, one actually passing through his hand. Before he could even react to the pain, Domon rammed his fist into the Chunin's stomach so hard the tree behind him actually broke in half, before grabbing the man's good arm and crushing it at the elbow.

Ignoring the stricken man's shrieks of pain, the giant spun round in a half circle, the man's arm still in his grip, ramming him through yet another tree, before letting go allowing Mizuki's own momentum to make him tumble across the floor in a bloody heap, before coming to rest at someone's feet.

Recca stood over the prone figure of the injured man and scowled.

"Normally I don't like doing stuff like this," he muttered, "but shinobi that betray their friends…"

He clenched his fist and to the surprise of Naruto and Iruka, flames erupted around it. "Deserve to spill their guts in the dirt."

Mizuki screamed, as he was set alight, tossing and turning in a futile attempt to put out the flames, arms flapping uselessly and painfully across the ground.

In a few minutes, only his charred body remained, twitching slightly.

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"Relax, I didn't kill him." Recca called out, looking over at the shocked Konoha locals, "You okay Naruto?"

The blonde was about to reply when Mizuki lurched to his feet, catching everyone off guard, and charged Iruka madly, a kunai clenched between his teeth. Naruto's eyes widened in shock at the sight, before filling with determination, the blonde leaping in front of his sensei and making a cross-shaped seal.

"Tajuu Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

There was an explosion, and when the smoke cleared, the clearing was filled with over a thousand Naruto clones.

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Domon sweatdropped at the sheer multitude of clones.

"Jeez…overkill Uzumaki!" he called out, only for Fuko to elbow him in the gut, smirking at the impressive display.

"Urusei!" she countered, "Let the kid have his moment!"

The assorted Naruto's grinned maliciously at the trembling figure of Mizuki, cracking their knuckles, causing Fuko's smirk to widen as she sat across Domon's shoulder, resting an elbow on his head.

"This is gonna be brutal."

The group, with the exception of Iruka, snickered as the traitor's screams filled the air amidst the sound of pulping flesh and broken bones.

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Whoo! that was an interesting round wasn't it?

How far will Naruto go with Team Hokage backing him up? Will he and Recca compete for the position of village leader?

And how will this revelation affect Naruto's standing iin public?!

Find out next time on Hokage no Issan!


	5. Chapter 5

First off, just to clear up any little miussunderstandings, Kurei is NOT launching a total frontal assault on Kirigakure, he just hasn't got the manpower. No, our resident pyromaniac is going to use ye olde back-stabbing trick to get what he wants. Think of the irony, the eldest son of the Hokage clan becoming the MIZUkage, in a village which is technically the polar opposite of Recca & co

Also, we won't actually be hearing from Uruha fro a while now, just to make things interesting, so without further ado, here's the latest installment of: Hokage no Isan!

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A new start; Adoption and assignment!

After beating the living shit out of Mizuki, Naruto dispelled his clones, panting slightly from the chakra demand as Recca walked up and patted him on the back, smirking. "You did good Naruto," he muttered, "forget everything that faggot said, you're okay in our book."

Fuko ruffled the blonde's hair, while Domon moved to help Iruka stand up, the wind mistress adding her own two yen to the pile. "So you got a demon sealed in your stomach? So what?" she pointed at Domon and Recca, smirking, "I had to grow up with these two, that's worse than any old demon."

Recca made a comment about her being none to angelic herself and another argument broke out.

"Naruto." Iruka called out over the noise, making the blonde flinch, he turned and faced the chunin, who was leaning on Domon for support.

"Iruka-Sensei?"

The chunin smiled and gestured for the blonde to come closer. "Naruto," he said warmly, "I have something for you…close your eyes."

Naruto blinked, confused as heck, but did as he was told; surprised when he felt hands pull off his goggles and something being put in their place.

"Open your eyes Naruto." Iruka said warmly, and smiled as the Genin blinked in shock as he touched his forehead, where Iruka's Hitai-ate now sat. "Congratulations, graduate!" the chunin said, smiling warmly. Fuko giggled, twirling the blonde's goggles in her hands and winking. Recca and Domon were cheering the blonde's name and pumping an arm in the air, doing an odd looking war dance.

"GO! GO! NARUTO!" Recca yelled, a grin on his face to rival any fox's.

"YOU DA MAN!" Domon roared, twirling Iruka around in a spin, causing the chunin to yelp as the movement hurt the Chunin's already injured body.

"OI! I'm injured here!" he yelled humorously, causing Domon to wince and stutter an apology, whilst the others laughed at the giant's expense.

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The Hokage smiled at them as they returned the scroll, especially at Naruto. "I see you graduated Naruto," he muttered, hiding the tissue paper he'd stuffed up his nose, "well done."

Naruto grinned, tapping his Hitai-ate with one hand before pointing at the old man with the other. "Watch out old man," he boasted, "soon I'll be the one wearing that hat!"

Recca grinned, ruffling the blonde genin's hair again, causing him to squirm. "Not unless I beat ya to it!" he countered.

Domon grunted, cutting off the sure to follow fistfight as he nodded at the injured chunin over his shoulder. "Can we get a medic here?" he asked, "Iruka sensei's not getting any lighter."

The Hokage chuckled and snapped his fingers, causing three ANBU to appear from out of nowhere. Recca shivered, as he looked at them, those masks reminded him WAY too much of Kurei for comfort.

"See to Iruka," Sarutobi ordered, "make sure he gets the best of care."

As the ANBU took the grateful Chunin to the waiting hospital staff, Sarutobi smiled at the assembled teens, a twinkle in his eye. "I understand it's past suppertime?" he asked, eyeing Recca in particular. For the briefest of moments, the teen looked confused, before realization set in and his eyes widened in horror, arms flailing.

"CRAP! Mom's gonna be-!"

"Very proud of you." A familiar voice uttered from a moving shadow, which heralded the arrival of Recca's immortal mother.

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Kagero, emerging from a shadow behind the Hokage, nodded at the look of confusion on her son's face. "Sarutobi-san has already informed me of everything that has happened," she smiled at them, "I am very proud of you all."

Domon rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed, while Fuko flushed slightly. Naruto on the other hand, having never been praised by a woman in his life, let alone one as pretty as Recca's mother, couldn't think of a single boast or yell to fit the occasion, and settled for nodding numbly. Recca merely grinned from ear to ear, rubbing his nose. "Thanks mom."

Kagero nodded again, before turning her complete attention to the blonde before her. "Naruto," she began, "Sarutobi has told me everything that has happened to you and…well…" She pulled out a set of papers, from god knows where and smiled in a maternal sort of way, "If you are willing, I could adopt you as my son."

Recca's eyes widened, before he burst out in a full out yell. "YEAH! Hey Naruto! We could be brothers!"

Domon shivered and leaned in closer to Fuko, "God help the brat."

Fuko elbowed him in the face, though not as violently as she normally would, knowing the giant was only joking.

Meanwhile, Naruto stared at the woman in shock, hardly daring to believe his ears. "Are…are you serious?" he prompted, a bizzare combination of wonder crossing his features as Kagero smiled at him sadly.

"As I said, I have been well informed of the villagers…actions." The woman scowled, causing the assembled teens to shiver at the sight, Recca and his friends had never seen the immortal kunoichi this angry…EVER. "I will not permit such abuse to a child to progress any further." Kagero muttered.

"Hey I'm not a child!" Naruto yelled before a hand settled on his shoulder. Looking up at the owner of the limb revealed a grinning Recca.

"She didn't mean anything by it," the flame wielder said, chuckling, "so whadd'ya say?"

Naruto looked from the expectant look on the group's faces, then at the documents in Kagero's hands, before grinning.

"Where do I sign?"

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"There isn't much room so you'll be bunking with Domon and Recca." Kagero said, guiding the blonde up the path towards the safe house.

"No biggee!" Naruto grinned, a backpack over his shoulder, "this place is WAY bigger than my old apartment!"

Kagero frowned again at this obvious statement, though the blonde missed it, as he was too busy taking in the scenery. She remembered every detail of their brief stop at Naruto's apartment; she'd been disgusted at the dirt and state of the place, the roof leaked, the window didn't shut properly; the poor boy didn't even have access to clean running water!

Behind the two trailed Recca and Fuko, carrying bags of underwear, which apparently needed a good wash, whilst behind them the massive form of Domon lumbered along, carrying the boy's mattress and few pieces of furniture easily on his back, covered in what looked like plaster.

When Domon had overheard the landlord insulting Naruto during their brief pit stop, the giant, along with an all too eager Recca, had gone on a rampage and tore the whole building down around the man's ears. They had left the despicable little worm standing in the middle of a pile of rubble, gibbering like a madman as the dust settled.

'No less than he deserved.' Kagero thought darkly, before smiling at Naruto. "We'll get you some new clothes later," she assured him, "for now you can wear your old ones."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "What's wrong with my outfit?" he asked, sniffing his orange jumpsuit in case it smelled funny, causing Kagero winced at the boy's lack of common sense, before smiling awkwardly and placing a hand on his shoulder by kneeling down to eye level.

"Naruto," she coaxed, "ninja's shouldn't wear clothing that draws attention." She plucked at the youth's jumpsuit in distaste, "You may as well paint a bull's-eye on you head."

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Naruto frowned, seeing the point in the woman's words, but like all boy's his age, refused to willingly cede any ground in an argument.

"But I LIKE orange…" he grumbled stubbornly, causing Recca to snicker, ruffling the blonde's hair again.

"Relax bro," he said lightly, having started referring to the blonde as such since the moment the papers were signed, "you'll get used to it." He smirked, "And besides, a Hokage shouldn't be spotted when on a mission…right?"

Naruto blinked at the logic in this, and then clenched his fit, eyes blazing in manner reminiscent of the resident Taijutsu specialists.

"OSSU! Hanabishi-san…uh..." he flushed and looked up at an amused Kagero, scratching the back of his head, "Ano…I mean…"

"Kaa-san, Naruto," Kagero cut in gently, smiling warmly down at the boy, "call me Kaa-san."

The blonde flushed again and nodded looking down at his feet in embarrassment.

"Ah-yeah…"

Kagero laughed lightly at how adorable the blonde looked, before blinking as something came back to her attention, turning to her biological son in concern.

"Recca," she stated, "there's something I need to tell you before we get home..."

The Enjutsu-shi blinked as he noticed the nervous expression on his mother's face, wondering what was up. "Like what mom?" he asked, before a fist connected with his jaw, sending him rolling across the lawn to land in the Koi pond. Recca swore as he came to the surface, ready top par-broil his bushwhacker with Setsuna, before he got a good look at him.

"What the-?!" he gawped at his attacker, "POPS?!?!?!"

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True enough, Hanabishi Shigeo stood in the doorway of the safe house, looking about as livid as a bull in a red stained china store.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO BOY?!" he roared, leaping into the air to perform an aerial body-slam on his startled son, catching Recca off guard again. "One minute, I'm making a deluxe order of fireworks, the next, my workshop is pulling a Dorothy and I'm standing in the middle of a circle on men with swords!"

Kagero sighed, as she rubbed the back of her neck, waiting for the struggle to die down a little before saying anything. "Shigeo-san caused quite a scene," she said with a small smile, "he landed on a spy that the ANBU had been trailing, killing him, which naturally compromised their mission."

Recca snorted, "Way to make a first impression dad."

Shigeo would have kicked the teen in the balls had Kagero not bowed to him.

"Apparently you have gotten involved in our affairs once again," the woman said apologetically, "sumimasen."

Shigeo and Recca ceased their roughhousing long enough for the older man to blush and stammer at the woman's behavior.

"Y-you don't need to be bowing your head," he muttered, scratching his own in exasperation, all intentions of thrashing his 'delinquent' son leaving his mind. "Man," he muttered, looking skywards, "what am I gonna do now though?"

Kagero smiled at the man that had raised her son. "I believe Sarutobi-sama invited you to join the village," she reminded him, "they could use a new fireworks producer, since the last one died thirteen years ago."

Shigeo squinted his eyes, looking for all the world like a shaved chimpanzee with a bandanna and cigarette. "The old guy with the pipe?" he muttered, "What is he, the mayor or something?"

Kagero chuckled, "Something like that."

She opened the door and bowed again, inviting him in with a welcoming smile.

"I believe this is a bit of a reversal?"

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As the two adults walked off, laughing in that bizarre way adults have, Recca nursed his jaw, wringing the water out of his clothes with his free hand. Naruto blinked, snapping himself out of his daze, before pointing after the departing adults, or more specifically, Shigeo.

"What was that?" he asked, causing Fuko to snort at the way he referred to the man, before smiling.

"He's Recca's dad…sorta." The girl explained, "Recca and his mom were separated at birth, so Hanabishi-san took him in." She walked into the doorway, taking off her sandals as she went, "Later Recca and Kagero-san met up and they've been together ever since."

Naruto nodded slightly, before patting Recca on the back, grinning. "At least you got your mom's looks!" he chirped, as if this made up for Shigeo's lack of anything.

Recca didn't have the energy to contradict the blonde.

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Shigeo marveled at the state of the house, saying he felt embarrassed for having entered in his work clothes, thumping Recca for snidely remarking they were his ONLY clothes. Kagero waved his apologies away and the two sat, resuming their conversation on Recca's childhood, much to the aforementioned genin's ire.

"Look at him, grinning at her like that…" Recca muttered, twitching as his adoptive father smiled at one of his mother's comments, Fuko bopping him one upside the head for being nosy.

"Leave them alone," she scolded, "they're both adults, and Kagero-san can handle herself."

Recca sighed and nodded resignedly. Kagero WAS a kunoichi after all, capable of dealing out painful death via pointy implements, let alone via poisoning or pressure point strikes, but the teen couldn't help but feel overprotective of his mother after being apart from her for so long.

He froze as his mother gave off a very girlish squeal. "Oh god," he muttered, paling in fear, "he wouldn't…" The Enjutsu-shi spun round, eyes widening in horror, "NOT THAT!"

"Yep, I always carry a copy of Recca's baby album with me." Shigeo snickered, turning the pages reverently, eliciting more cries from an ecstatic Kagero at the contents, "The boy torched the first copy, luckily I kept the negatives and made another."

Kagero let out a cry of joy as she began to comment on how adorable her baby boy looked with his head stuck in a plastic bucket, or running naked across the beach, whilst off to the side, Recca was banging his head into the table repeatedly as Domon and Fuko snickered.

Naruto merely sweatdropped at the sight as it went on for several minutes.

'So THIS is what a family looks like.' he muttered, shaking his head, 'Weird.'

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The next day at the academy the gang trudged in just minutes before the bell rang, making it to their seats just as the tardy bell went off.

Recca had a gloomy expression on his normally cheerful face; Yanagi hadn't spoken to him at all during breakfast, which apparently was her way of punishing him for missing supper the previous night. That and he just knew Kagero was going to show those damn pictures to her friends if they came over for a visit…if she'd made any since their arrival.

Domon and Naruto were bickering because the giant had managed to swipe the last sardine at the table, which the blonde had been trying to covet the entire time.

"Listen squirt," the giant muttered, "when it comes to food, its first come, first served!"

"But I called that last fish!" the blonde yelled, the two actually grinding their faces together in an attempt to glare each other down.

Fuko eventually silenced them with a couple of picks aimed at the groin, which luckily for the duo missed, causing them to settle with launching spitballs at each other, which varied from pea sized darts or tennis ball sized bombs which cauysed Ino to shriek if the missed and slapped against the wall.

Tokiya didn't comment about them staying out late, as it really wasn't his business, and he'd pretty much put everything together after speaking with Kagero that morning, making a mental note to move his meditation space to a small waterfall he 'd discovered not too far away from the house to escape the blonde hurricane of noise.

True to her word, Kagero had bought Naruto a new set of clothes to replace the god-awful orange jumpsuit, and the blonde had to admit that he rather liked them. Like Recca, it followed the traditional ninja theme, Konoha leggings with wrappings at the end. He stubbornly wore an orange shirt, but it was under a thick fishnet vest and an open black kimono style top, which had his red whirlpool marking on the back and arms.

Kagero had even customized the others' outfits as part of a graduation gift for them all. Domon now sported the kanji for 'Oni' on his back; Fuko had added a sash with the kanji for 'Kaze' on it to her wardrobe, whilst Recca wore the Symbol of the Hokage ninja clan on the breast of his shirt, something that caused the teen great pleasure. Mikagami had humbly declined the offer and Yanagi had been too embarrassed to ask.

Iruka came in, still wearing bandages under his uniform but smiling as he pulled out a satchel, rolling out a massive scroll.

"The results of the overall exam were as follows," he instructed, "please make a list of your placing in the class."

Naruto swallowed and looked at the list in resigned gloom.

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Konoha ninja academy: graduating class written exam results.

Mikagami Tokiya.

Uzumaki Naruto.

Kirisawa Fuko/ Ku Saicho

Hanabishi Recca.

Ishijima Domon.

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Naruto stared in shock, as if expecting someone to leap out of the walls screaming 'PSYCHE!', only for the words to remain before him

'Second out of the entire class…SECOND out of the entire class!'

Around the blonde boy, a choir had broken out singing 'Hallelujah' and a spotlight was shining on him, his eyes closed as he turned his face heavenward as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Domon and Recca were high fiving each other for making it into the top five, whilst Fuko mocked them for being beaten by a squirt, whilst Yanagi tried to stop her, the girl looking a little puit down at not making it to the top five with her friends, but glad that Naruto had done so well.

Tokiya merely snorted, amused that his efforts had been right on the money.

'Uzumaki isn't the fool everyone makes him out to be,' the swordsman acknowledged, 'without hindrance, his potential should be astonishing.'

He blinked at the waves of killing intent washing over him from the seat next to him, staring at his normally inexpressive desk mate.

'It would appear someone is annoyed…'

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Uchiha Sasuke was annoyed.

No, more than annoyed, he was absolutely livid!

He, the sole survivor of the illustrious Uchiha clan; had been outdone by the class dunce and his ragtag group of friends, it was unthinkable!

The raven-aired teen glared at the blonde idiot, who was squirming to escape from the headlock Ishijima had put him in, his eyes threatening to bulge out of his skull.

'How did that idiot manage it?' he muttered, 'Did he cheat?'

Meanwhile, near the back of the class, Hyuuga Hinata smiled as she gazed at her secret crush, unaware that both Saicho and Shino could see her.

'Naruto-kun…'

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Iruka coughed, catching the teens' attentions, before rolling up the scroll.

"Hope you took notes," he lectured, "cause from now on your all full fledged shinobi of Konoha."

The chunin smiled at them, a far-away look in his eyes, before clearing his throat and holding up a clipboard.

"I will now read out the team formations;" he called out, "due to the councils ruling, some teams will consist of four genin instead of three; Team 1…"

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As Iruka droned away, Recca nudged Domon and Naruto, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hope we get together eh?" he suggested, fingers crossed, "The prankster trio?"

Naruto grinned, knocking fists with his partners in crime.

"We'll be unstoppable!" he whispered, turning to face the front, fingers crossed along with his friends.

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"Team six: Yanagi Sakoshita, Fuko Kirisawa…"

Fuko waved at the shy Hime and smiled.

"Mikagami Tokiya..." Iruka added, until a shriek deafened him.

"Why did you put Hime with that jerk?!" Recca yelled, head the size of a car.

Iruka sighed; knowing whom the boy was referring to, who wouldn't after all the antics the boy got up to? Whilst wondering when Recca had picked up his trademark 'giant evil head' jutsu.

"The overall grades were tallied, and the council believed this group was the best." He scowled, "Now do not interrupt again."

Recca slumped against the table, tears trickling out of his eyes comically, whilst Domon patted him on the back. Mikagami smirked in a superior fashion that Recca failed to notice, but Fuko did, making a mental note to smack the genius upside the head.

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Iruka winced in dread as he ran his eyes over the next team roster, silently wondering if the gods that goverend Konoha were on crtack or something.

'Dear lord," he muttered, "I pity the poor sod assigned to this bunch…'

Clearing his throat he settled his features into a neutral mask and called out the names.

"Ishijima Domon, Hanabishi Recca, Uzumaki Naruto…"

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The trio leapt in the air, Recca's mood lightened somewhat at the prospect of his best friend and 'Outoto' being with him, and promptly began a bizarre victory dance that involved spinning in a circle on the desktops, whilst Domon and Naruto threw confetti in the air.

"And Uchiha Sasuke." Iruka concluded, sweat-dropping at the sight. It grew as the teen apparently lost his footing and slammed into the desk face first.

The trio slumped across the table, banging their heads on the hard wood in an attempt to wake up from their nightmare.

'NOT HIM!' they wailed in eerie mental symmetry, glaring at the resident Uchiha, who pretend to ignore them.

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Iruka shook his head, sighing, before getting back to the task at hand.

"Team Eight: Ku Saicho, Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba."

Hinata smiled at her future teammates and spared a glance at a moping Naruto, too shy to try and comfort him with so many watching.

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"And finally," Iruka called out, "Team Ten: Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Choji, Nara Shikamaru."

Haruno Sakura blinked and held up her hand, catching the Chunin's attention.

"Ano, Sensei…" she called out, "what about me?"

Iruka blinked in confusion, then sighed after looking over the roster again, shaking his head.

"Gomen ne, Sakura," the chunin apologized, "I missed your name thanks to Recca's interruption, you're on team six."

Recca flushed at the comment and lowered his head, glaring at Mikagami, who appeared to be smiling.

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It was mid noon and team seven was still waiting for their sensei.

Team Six had been escorted out by, of all people, Kukai; the eternally blissful leader of Ku had willingly accepted the roll of Jounin instructor in order to keep an eye on his friends, though Mikagami suspected it was no mere fluke that Saicho was on the man's team.

Team Eight had been escorted off by a red-eyed, curly haired kunoichi called Yuhei Kurenai. Hinata had waved shyly at Naruto, and he waved back in reply, though he hadn't really been paying attention, seeing as he was currently trying to drill a hole into Sasuke's head with his eyes, though it still managed to fluster the shy kunoichi.

Team ten was lead off by a jounin who bore a passing resemblance to the sandaime Hokage. When he introduced himself as Sarutobi Asuma, Recca but two and two together, and grumbled as the Ino-Shika-Cho were lead away by someone with close ties to the Hokage.

Now the remaining four genin were lazing about the academy waiting for their good-for-nothing sensei to show up.

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Three hours later…

"GAH! Where is he?!" Recca grouched, throwing Kunai at the wall as Domon growled in annoyance, "I've seen plants that showed up faster than this!"

Sasuke said nothing, merely scowling at the trio in distaste. 'Weaklings,' he muttered to himself, 'they'll only hold me back.'

Naruto, after being unusually quiet for the past half hour grinned and eyed the door mischievously.

"You two up for a prank?" he asked, eyeing his partners in crime with a daring look.

Recca and Domon grinned and the three genin huddled together, Sasuke raising an intrigued eyebrow as they let off the occasional demented cackle.

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When a silver haired Jounin entered the classroom, some 45 minutes later, he sighed as the duster bounced off his head, before looking around at his charges.

"Not very imaginative…are you?" he drawled, no noticing the evil looks on three of his charges' faces.

As he took a step forward however, he felt the telltale feeling of a tripwire, and was promptly sent rolling across the floor, a bucket of whitewash falling on his head, setting off yet another tripwire as he fell. Three toy arrows hit him on both butt cheeks and the bucket respectively; causing him to tumble head over heals across the floor, before crashing upside down into Iruka's desk.

Naruto Recca and Domon roared in victorious laughter and were exchanging high fives amongst themselves, whilst Sasuke was eyeing the jounin with serious doubt on his face.

'This is one of the village elite?' he muttered, clearly unimpressed. Said jounin slowly righted himself and pulled off the bucket, wiping as much of the whitewash off as he could, before running his eye over the group.

"Well now," he muttered, tone flat, "based on my first impression, I have to say…I hate you."

The genin winced, the three troublemakers gulping.

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The jounin had them relocate to the academy roof, still drenched in whitewash but determined to see things through.

"Now," he began, "I'd like you all to tell us a little about yourselves."

"Like what?" Recca asked, twirling a kunai around his fingers, the jounin shrugged.

"…You know, the usual." He clarified, "Your likes, dislikes…dreams, ambitions, hobbies, things like that."

Naruto slumped over, a confused look on his face. "Help us out here teach," he urged, "You go first, show us how it's done."

Domon nodded, "Yeah…you're the stranger here after all."

The jounin blinked, "Oh…Me? My name is Hatake Kakashi. I'm the kind of person that doesn't like talking about his likes and dislikes." He shrugged lazily, "My dreams for the future are none of you business…I have a lot of hobbies."

The group sweatdropped, even the normally stoic Sasuke felt a bead of sweat sliding down the side of his head.

'So all we learned was his name?' they thought together, wincing.

"Right," Kakashi cut in, "starting off, Blondie."

Naruto grinned, touching his Hitai-ate with pride.

"I'm Hanabishi Naruto!" he chirped, "I like Ramen and training with my friends! What I like even better is when Kagero Kaa-san teaches us about shinobi! I hate it when people look down on others, and my dream is to become the greatest Hokage!"

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Kakashi blinked caught off guard at the youth's introduction.

'Hanabishi Naruto?" he muttered in confusion, "I thought his surname was Uzumaki?'

He nodded in understanding, 'He must have been adopted; you'd think they'd keep me updated.'

The jounin shook himself out of his ramblings before nodding at Domon.

"Big guy, you're next."

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Domon smirked, flexing an arm and causing Kakashi to wince at the size of him.

"I'm Ishijima Domon!" he greeted, "I like training and sparring with Hanabishi and the squirt!"

The giant genin grinned as Naruto thumped at him, the blow feeling like a feather to him."I hate bullies and people that are full of themselves." He continued, "And my dreams for the future are to clobber Hanabishi and marry Fuko-chan!"

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Kakashi blinked as the giant rambled on about his 'beloved', quite caught off guard.

'Not the muscle-head I first took him for…' he thought as Domon rapped Naruto on the head for teasing him.

Shaking himself the jounin nodded towards Recca, "You?"

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Recca nodded, pulling off a cheeky salute, and pointing at himself with his thumb.

"Hanabishi Recca!" he greeted, "Just like the squirt and Franken-dick here I like training and beating the snot outta them."

He dodged a blow from Domon and Naruto respectively, laughing at the looks of mock annoyance on their faces.

"I dislike anyone that would sell out their friends," he continued, "and my dreams for the future are to make a name for my clan and marry Hime!"

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Kakashi raised an eyebrow, sweat dropping at the kid's last statement.

'Pretty lofty dream," he muttered, "marrying a princess eh?'

He snorted to himself, before pointing at Sasuke, who was doing a perfect imitation of Ikari Gendo.

"And you?"

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"My name is Uchiha Sasuke." The raven-haired teen muttered, not changing his position, "There are plenty of things I hate, but I don't see how that matters as there are few things I actually do like."

He scowled, "Dreams are worthless…what I have, is determination; I plan to restore my clan…and there is someone I have to kill."

Recca and Domon frowned, this guy sounding way too much like Mikagami used to be for their liking. Naruto shivered, remembering the prank he'd pulled on the Uchiha not too long ago and hoped it wasn't him the avenger was talking about.

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Kakashi sighed as the teen leveled off; shaking his head, as he knew whom the teen was on about. 'I thought as much…'

The Jounin stood up straight, folded his arms and nodded at them. "Alright, now that we all understand one another, formal training begins tomorrow."

Naruto saluted, "Hai! What are our orders sensei?!"

Domon cracked his knuckles, as Recca grinned. "Our first mission?" the latter asked, looking hopeful. Kakashi shook his head, inwardly enjoying the effect this had on the group.

"Tomorrow's exercise involves only the members of this cell."

Recca grinned from ear to ear, "What is it?"

"Survival training." The jounin replied.

"EH?!?!?" Naruto balked, "But we did a tonne of that at the academy!"

Kakashi snorted, really beginning to enjoy himself.

"True," he admitted, "but this isn't standard survival training, you will have to survive…against ME."

The group flinched at this, the prankster trio wondering if this jounin would hold a grudge.

"What do you mean by…non-standard?" Naruto asked carefully.

Kakashi began to snort into his mask, which the group realized was suppressed laughter. "What's so funny?" Domon asked, looking worried, the whitewash had been his idea.

"If I told you you'd chicken out…" Kakashi muttered, shaking his head and waving a hand dismissively, "out of the thirty-three members of your graduating class…only twelve will be accepted as genin."

He gave them an eerie look with his sole visible eye, causing them all to shiver.

"The rest will be sent back to the academy in shame," Kakashi continued, "this test has a failure rate of over 66"

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Recca Domon and Naruto were struck dumb, their eyes bulging, totally white, and their teeth like blocks. (The face anyone makes when they're surprised in the Naruto series.) Sasuke merely scowled at the jounin, though a bead of sweat did slide down his cheek.

Kakashi, after enjoying a silent laughing fit at the looks on their faces, gave them their instructions, warning them not to eat anything before coming, and then disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving them to their own devices.

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At the Hanabishi house, the gang was unusually subdued.

Fuko and the others revealed that they were in the same predicament as Recca's team, though Kukai told them not to worry, as they'd only be facing him head on, which hadn't done much to comfort the wind user. Recca spent the whole meal worrying about what Kakashi had planned for the test, before sauntering off to his room to think.

'Okay,' he muttered, 'survival exercises against a jounin level opponent…that means that we'll probably have to team up against him…but we don't have much time to think up a strategy…'

Nodding to himself, he set about gathering some scrolls from his part of the room, deciding to check with the others.

'This is a survival exercise,' He reasoned, walking down the patio, 'so we need to go over the sign language Kaa-san taught us, just in case.'

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He found Domon in the training yard, swinging Kuchibashi-o around and demolishing all the targets with the ease of long-practice. The giant paused when he sensed Recca and recalled the beak king madogu.

"Been a while since I practiced," He muttered, slinging the weapon over his shoulder, "just getting the feel of it again."

Recca nodded in understanding. "Have you seen Naruto?" he asked, looking around the clearing, "I'd like us to go over the sign language one more time."

"I'm up here bro." Naruto called out, leaping off the roof nimbly.

Domon smirked, following the blonde's progress with his eyes. "What were ya doing up there squirt?" he asked affectionately.

"Just watching the moon." The blonde replied as he landed in front of the other two. Recca shrugged and pulled out the scrolls he'd brought, as the group sat in a circle.

"Listen," he urged, "this is another survival exercise, despite what that masked idiot says." He held a scroll in front of his face, "so we gotta make sure we know where we are without giving the game away."

Domon frowned, "What about Uchiha?"

"Let the bastard fend for himself." Naruto replied with a snort, only to blink as Recca sighed, shaking his head.

"Much as I like the idea," the teen muttered, "he's our teammate now, so we gotta watch out for him too."

Domon groaned as Recca began calling out the signs. "This is gonna be hell…" the Giant predicted.

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Sasuke stared at the memorial under the main clan building, deep in thought.

'Tomorrow I will become a genin," he predicted, "I MUST become one…' He clenched his fists, 'and if those idiots do anything to slow me down…'

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The trio sneezed, looking at each other apprehensively.

"Maybe we should go indoors?" Domon suggested, rubbing his nose, "There's a bit of a breeze out here."

Recca nodded, "In a minute, so everyone knows what to do?"

Naruto smirked, "We assess the situation, and then based on the facts, we make our move."

Recca eyed Domon, continuing where his brother had left off. "To be safe, I suggest using the kage bunshin jutsu to take our places and hide in the shrubbery."

Domon grinned, seeing the sense in the plan.

"That way," the giant finished, "even if he spots them, we'll already be hidden."

Naruto thumped a fist in the air, "OSSU! We are so gonna kick that old fart's ass!"

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Across Konoha, Kakashi sneezed in the middle of his shower, causing him to slip on the soap and fall out, leaking whitewash onto his carpet.

'I am so getting them back for this.' He resolved, pulling himself to his feet resignedly.

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Kagero smiled as Recca, Naruto and Domon sat debating battle strategies together.

'In another day and age,' she predicted, 'Naruto and Domon would have made fine Hokage Ninja…the village leader's personal guard.'

She chuckled as Domon hurled a kunai at Recca for a comment the smaller teen had made.

'Recca…you truly are blessed.'

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Well there you have it, the latest installment of Naruto's adventures with Team Hokage!

Will they pass Kakashi's exam?!

Will Kakashi get revenge for the whitewash?!

And Will I ever stop asking such ridiculous questions?!

(Probably not the latter, it's too damn fun)

Tune in next time to find out!


	6. Chapter 6

Well, it's finally time to see how I'm going to torment...I mean challenge everyones favourtite useless...I mean perverted jounin.

Any bets on who'll be tied to the stump? Lets dive in and find out.

YA-HA!

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Teamwork is the key! The first assignment!

Sasuke sat muttering to himself as he sat, waiting for the rest of the group to show up. He'd been here for over three hours, waiting for the idiots and Kakashi, and his stomach was growling its displeasure at not having eaten anything beforehand. Just as he was considering taking a nap though, a familiar dust-cloud alerted him to the arrival of his teammates, who fell in an exhausted heap not three feet from him.

"Domon you ass for brains!" Recca panted, lying on his back, "You forgot to set the alarm!"

"I thought you set it Hanabishi!" the giant gasped in reply; hand on his knees, bent over.

Naruto shook the sleep from his eyes and yawned, sending an annoyed look at the resident Uchiha. "Oi, Teme," he greeted, "we miss anything?"

Sasuke snorted and refused to answer, two seconds later and Kakashi appeared in a burst of smoke.

"Yo!"

"YOU'RE LATE!" the pranksters roared, causing the jounin to lose his footing and actually be blown back at the sheer lungpower. Across Konoha, Yuhei Kurenai winced, wondering which poor saps had been stuck with Kakashi, before cursing as Hinata's Byakugan spotted her hiding place, leaping away to avoid one of Saicho's cranes.

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Kakashi set up the clock, muttering under his breath about loudmouthed brats.

"This is set to go off at noon." He called out, pulling out three bells from his pocket, "You must capture one of these bells from me before then." He pointed at three stumps, "Anyone that fails to get a bell, doesn't get lunch, instead you'll be tied to that stump while I eat your lunch in front of you."

Sasuke frowned as his stomach growled, not noticing the looks of relief that covered his teammates' faces. 'Good thing we ate already' they thought together, silently thanking Kagero for saving them some breakfast that morning.

"There's only three bells," Recca pointed out to keep up appearances, "what about the fourth?"

Kakashi nodded having not noticed the looks either. "Since there are only three bells, one of you is doomed to fail this test and be sent back to the academy…in disgrace."

The group flinched, knuckles tightening as the jounin continued, smirking slightly under his mask.

"You may use shuriken if you see fit," he suggested, "only you better attack me as if you mean to kill me if you hope to stand a chance."

The jounin shivered slightly as the three pranksters leveled eerie, identical grins at him at those words.

'Better watch out for those three…' He thought wisely. Shaking himself and running his eyes over the assembled genin, he nodded, pushing the timer in place.

"Time starts…now!"

Abruptly, all three pranksters disappeared in a plume of smoke, catching the other two shinobi off guard.

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(Good plan Hanabishi.) Domon signed from his hiding place in the surrounding woods, (Kakashi-sensei looks like he just saw a ghost.)

(Aniki, what's our next move?) Naruto signed, watching for surprise attacks. Recca thought for a moment, then nodded to himself, signing a reply to both of them.

(We watch Kakashi and Sasuke, then make our move.)

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'Kage bunshin?' Kakashi thought, waving the smoke out of his face, 'Pretty clever…but I thought Naruto was the only one to learn that technique from the scroll…guess Iruka's info was off.'

He shrugged, eyeing the remaining genin with mild disinterest. "You're not joining them?" he asked, only for Sasuke to grunt, smirking dismissively.

"I don't need those idiots holding me back." He muttered cockily, dashing to the side and hurling Shuriken.

"Frontal assaults are useless here." Kakashi reprimanded in a bored tone, dodging the kunai almost lazily, that is until he heard a rope snap behind him.

'Shit!' he realized as he spun round, 'A trap!'

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Sasuke grinned; the traps he'd set up earlier had paid off, as several knives hurtled towards the startled jounin. Whilst Kakashi dodged and blocked all the Kunai with his own, he blinked as something triggered his senses before grabbing Sasuke by the back of his shirt collar, hurling him over his shoulder before the Uchiha could grab a bell.

'He's good,' the jounin analyzed, eyeing the cursing Uchiha warily, 'I can't even read Icha-Icha paradise while we're fighting!'

Sasuke snorted at the failed attempt and went through a series of seals.

'Snake, Ram, Monkey, Boar, Horse, Tiger.'

"Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu!"

Kakashi's eyes bulged as he was enveloped in the fireball the size of a mini-van…or so it appeared. When the Uchiha finally ran out of breath, canceling the jutsu, rather than the scorched remains of Kakashi, there was only scorched earth.

'Behind me? Above?!' Sasuke thought, gazing around in a panic.

"Below." Kakashi answered, his hand grabbing the Uchiha's ankle from below ground. "Doton: Shinju Zanshu no jutsu."

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The trio shared a silent laugh at the Uchiha's predicament.

(Now there's the ugliest lawn ornament I've ever seen.) Recca joked.

Domon suppressed his urge to guffaw, eyes watering at the sight of the Uchiha's head sticking out of the ground.

(Not even a blind pigeon'd shit on it!) he replied, heralding another plethora of suppressed cackles.

Naruto snickered quietly and signed towards his friends.

(Shall we make our move?)

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Kakashi had just finished lecturing the enraged Uchiha on his tactics, thoroughly enjoying the look of embarrassment that covered the teen's face when something rammed into his side with the force of a cannonball.

'A…beak?' the jounin thought in bewilderment, as the metal contraption retreated to the waiting form of Domon.

"Weren't expecting that, were ya sensei?" The giant grinned, wrapping the weapon around his body, so the beak hung over one shoulder. Kakashi would have replied to this, but he was forced to dodge a flurry of Kunai in mid fall, hurled by what appeared to be an army of Naruto clones.

"ORRRRRAAAAAA!" the clones roared as they fell upon the hapless jounin, punching and kicking at very awkward places, only for him to switch with a Kawarimi.

'These two…' he muttered, kneeling on a tree branch, before freezing at the surge of chakra behind him.

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"Katon:" Recca called out, leaping towards Kakashi through the trees, from behind, "Goukakyuu no jutsu!"

Kakashi nearly shit himself when a gargantuan fireball incinerated the tree he'd been sitting in, reducing it to so much ash.

'That thing was at least ten times bigger than Sasuke's!' He panicked, 'They really are trying to kill me!'

He blinked at a sizzling noise, before letting out a curse, barely managing to get the explosive tag off his jacket before it detonated, rather violently.

'Domon used that beak thing to catch me off guard,' the jounin realized, 'and as a tool to plant the tag.' He landed before them, eye narrowed as he took the trio in carefully.

'Pretty clever…and he and Naruto are no doubt serving as distractions for Recca,' he paused, gazing over his shoulder in confusion. 'But Sasuke's still there...why haven't they rescued him?'

The jounin hurled a kunai at a tree causing Recca to appear between his friends, holding it between two fingers.

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"Old age slowing ya down sensei?" the enjutsu-shi mocked, spinning the kunai around by the ring.

"Cute," Kakashi replied with a snort, "but you still haven't stolen a bell."

Recca grinned, cracking his knuckles, "I think we can rectify that."

Suddenly, he pointed at the jounin, a frown on his face.

"One question," he called out, "that book you were reading…it's a perverted book isn't it?"

Kakashi shrugged, deciding to humor the boy before he got serious, "What if it is?" he asked coyly.

Recca's grin caused the jounin to shiver, it reminded him WAY too much of Anko in her more…playful moments.

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"Just what we needed to know," Recca replied, before looking over his shoulder, "you ready guys?"

Domon fidgeted, looking uncomfortable for some reason. "Dunno about this," he muttered, while Naruto grinned, patting his giant teammate on the back reassuringly.

"S'allright," he coaxed, "it's only temporary."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, wondering just what they had up their sleeves, and then braced himself as all three made a hand seal too fast for him to see.

"San-Bai Oiroke no jutsu!" the trio yelled out, disappearing in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared the jounin's visible eye bulged out of its socket before he was sent violently soaring through the air, his mask staining red as the blood shooting out of his ears actually propelled the poor jounin upwards.

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Recca-chan thumped a fist into the air, as Kakashi landed a good thirty feet away, face down.

"YATTA! We did it!" she cheered, bouncing slightly, "Operation Perv-basher is a success!" The brunette grinned up at her rival, who was now a busty raven-haired beauty whose hair wrapped around her suggestively.

"You make a pretty hot girl Domon," she complimented, "the ankle-length Ponytail's a nice touch…" The brunette noticed the look of jealous rage on the other's face and blinked, "Nani?"

"DAMN YOU HANABISHI!" Domo-chan shrieked, pointing at her rival, causing her assets to jiggle, "WHY'RE YOUR JUGS BIGGER THAN MINE?!"

Naru-chan sweatdropped, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Okay…you are taking this WAY too seriously." She deadpanned.

Sasuke, having suffered an overload of female flesh to his teenage senses, added to Domo-chan's last outburst, promptly passed away, the last thing he heard was Recca-chan's curse.

"Dammit, looks like you win the bet." She sighed, "Man I was so sure he was queer."

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When Kakashi awoke, it was to find himself strapped to one of the training posts, stripped down to his underwear, save for the mask and Hitai-ate. Looking around revealed Sasuke in a similar predicament, though the Uchiha was still only just coming round.

"Hey, guy's, the lovebirds are awake." Domon's voice called out, prompting Kakashi to glare at the trio, still bitter about being taken out by such a lowbrow technique. To add insult to injury, they were munching away at the lunches he'd brought, looks of contentment on their faces.

"Payback's a bitch…ain't it Kakashi-sensei?" Recca muttered, dangling a bell in one hand, Naruto and Domon showing theirs too.

"Just wait till I get outta here," the Jounin warned, "THEN we'll talk payback."

Sasuke scowled at the trio, silently agreeing with the jounin's threat. Recca chuckled, swallowing a mouthful of rice, "I really don't think so, show 'em your ace Domon."

The giant swallowed his food whole and ruffled though his pockets, pulling out, to Kakashi's horror, an instant camera.

"We took several good photo's while you were out." Naruto added, waving a good handful and grinning madly, "I wonder how much they'd sell for?"

Domon made a mock 'Thinker' pose and grinned, eyeing the captive duo. "We'd get more if we told the female population that Uchiha was strapped to a log in his undies."

Sasuke paled and fought against the restraints savagely; he had no intention of having his virginity stolen by a horde of horny women, no matter how desperate he was to restore the clan.

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Kakashi sighed, shaking his head in wonder.

'Hate to admit it,' he admitted appreciatively, 'but they're good.'

"Alright," he muttered, looking up in defeat, "you all pass…now get me out of this."

Naruto nodded and moved to untie the silver-haired jounin. The minute he was free of the ropes, Kakashi lunged forwards and grabbed the camera and photos, only to blink as they turned to smoke, the grinning genin disappearing along with his comrades.

Cursing himself for being caught off guard, the jounin looked back to reveal a struggling Sasuke and a message pinned to the stump he'd just escaped from.

'How stupid do you think we are? See you tomorrow, Kakashi-sensei!'

Kakashi moaned and covered his face with his hand.

'I'll never live this down if people find out.'

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Fuko was laughing her ass off when the group finished retelling their story.

"Man that was brilliant!" she cackled, "why do you three get all the fun?"

Mikagami hated to admit it, but Domon's vulgar tactic had quite the comical value, and he was twitching with suppressed laughter.

Kagero chuckled lightly, wiping a tear from her eye. "Poor Hatake-kun," she muttered, "he has enough problems with people trying to look under his mask."

Domon grinned evilly, causing everyone to look at the giant as he pulled out another photo.

"You didn't!" Kagero gasped, looking at the giant, who nodded, a slight flush on his face, "Can I see?" she asked, causing Shigeo to frown slightly. When Domon nodded, she held out her hand, accepting the picture from the teen and staring at it in interest.

The immortal kunoichi blinked once, twice, before her smooth ivory skin turned the colour of a sun burnt tomato.

"Oh my…"

Fuko and Yanagi sneaked a look over the woman's shoulder, and their reaction was the exactly same.

"Dammit!" Fuko yelled, pointing at the trio, "Why are we stuck with old man Kukai while you get this…this…" She flushed staring at the picture, "God he's so hot!"

Recca blinked and scratched his head, "Luck of the draw?" he flushed, "Though…I can see why you're so upset…"

(Remember the filler Episode? Even Ichiraku was turned on, so Kakashi probably appeals to both sexes in regards to his looks.)

Naruto grinned, deciding to add his own two ryo to the pile, "Best of all! We blackmailed him into letting us pass!"

Kagero frowned, "That isn't something to be proud of," she warned, causing the blonde to flinch, before smiling at him. "Is what a normal mother would say, but for shinobi it's quite an achievement."

The trio knocked fists and began singing the traditional victory song of all conquering heroes.

"WEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, WEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!"

"NO TIME FOR LOSERS!" Domon roared, arms around the other two, as Recca took his cue.

" 'CAUSE WE ARE THE CAHMPIONS!"

Naruto whooped, tossing his fists in the air, "OF THE WORLD!!!"

The group fell about laughing as the Shigeo poured Amazake (sweet sake) everywhere in their glee.

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The next morning, after recovering from the mother of all hangovers, said champions made their gleeful way to their appointed meeting place. Much to the trio's surprise, it wasn't only Kakashi standing waiting, but Sasuke as well.

"What's HE doing here?" Recca asked, not looking at the livid Uchiha.

Kakashi blinked, caught momentarily off guard, before shrugging.

"I said you all passed didn't I?" he stated, as if commenting on the weather, "That included Sasuke."

"But the bastard didn't get a bell!" Naruto yelled, Domon sharing his sentiment.

Kakashi sighed, shaking his head "True, but you were a four man team to begin with, so you graduate as a four man team."

The trio slumped in defeat, "Guess we can't win 'em all." Recca muttered.

"We can still dream." Domon opined, to which Naruto snorted.

"Yeah, dream he gets killed off soon."

Kakashi sighed, shaking his head as he watched the group bicker amongst themselves. 'At least those three work well together,' he thought gratefully, 'now if I could only get Sasuke to open up…'

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Two months later...

Recca winced as Lady Shijimi, the wife of the fire Daimyo, hugged her 'precious' cat Tora to her bulbous face. Said precious cat had attempted to escape from her fourteen times this week alone, possibly more since that was only the times team seven had gone after him.

Domon nudged Recca and whispered out of the corner of his mouth. "Is it just me," he asked, "or does anyone feel sorry for the fleabag?"

Naruto growled, rubbing his cheek where the demented feline had scratched him, causing the giant to snort.

"Nah, didn't think so."

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Sarutobi bowed his head slightly to the woman as she left, depositing the payment for the missions with the bursar, before clearing his throat, looking down at a list in his hands.

"Team seven's next assignments are: Baby-sitting for the council of elders…running errands to the neighboring village…helping to dig sweet potatoes…"

"NO WAY!" Naruto cut in, "No more of this boring crap! Give us a better mission! An important one!"

Sasuke grunted, agreeing with the blonde despite himself; Recca and Domon adding their own two-ryo.

"What kinda shinobi goes around digging up sweet potatoes?!" Recca yelled, "We're assassins and spies, not farmers!"

"You tell him Hanabishi!" Domon added, rather loudly, "Any shinobi content to put up with this low level crap isn't deserving of his Hitai-ate!"

Quite a few ninja in the hall winced and refused to make eye contact, either out of shame or embarrassment. Kakashi was sighing in exasperation, shaking his head at the trio's antics, just as Iruka, who had been sitting to the Hokage's left, stood up yelling at the trio for their outbursts.

"Don't be foolish!" the chunin chided, "You four are still only genin! Everyone had to deal with missions of this caliber, and it builds the skills necessary for the bigger ones!"

"Yeah-yeah teamwork and co-operation blah-blah-blah, we got that down pat." Naruto muttered, thumbing over his shoulder, at Sasuke. "Even teme here can understand such an easy concept." he snickered, the other two joining in, causing Sasuke to glare at them until Kakashi bopped the trio on the back of their heads.

"Knock it off you three!" he chided.

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As the trio grumbled at their sensei, the Hokage puffed on his pipe, sighing.

"I understand your frustration, Naruto-kun, Recca-kun, Domon-kun." He muttered, eyeing them carefully, "but missions of a higher caliber demand an a equal level of skill and experience that only Higher ranked Shinobi can provide."

He took another drag of his pipe, "Shinobi such as Iruka and Kakashi, whose rank's are Chunin, and Jounin respectively." He exhaled, letting the smoke dissipate before continuing.

"Missions ranks are carefully evaluated by the council, and range from A to D in descending order of difficulty." Sarutobi waved his pipe at the group, "Having only attained the rank of Genin, do you really expect to receive missions that outrank your capabilities?"

Looking up revealed that the trio was involved in a spirited game of janken.

"HA! Three times in a row!" Domon yelled, raising his arms in the air as the other two cursed their luck.

"ARE YOU LISTENING?!" the aged Hokage yelled, miffed at being ignored as Kakashi rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"I-I'm sorry Hokage-sama" he said, embarrassed at the antics of his squad, whilst Sasuke snorted, laughing at their 'idiocy.'

"No need to apologize Kakashi-sensei," Recca muttered, as Domon continued to cheer at having won.

"Yeah, we heard everything." Naruto added, looking unusually serious, "I understand what you're saying, Oji-san, we all do." He pointed to his Hitai-ate leaf headband, tapping the metal with his thumb.

"But this marks us as adult Shinobi of Konohagakure," the blonde muttered, "and as adults, we can't have you holding our hands all the time."

Domon smirked, dropping the buffoon act to smirk at the venerable elder. "What kind of man just sits around planting crops, and lets real life experience pass him by?"

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Iruka looked at his former students in wonder, as the Hokage smiled around his pipe.

"Hn, Very well." He muttered, "Since you put it that way…"

Kakashi stared at the elder in shock whilst Sasuke maintained his indifferent image, though on the inside the Uchiha's ears perked up.

"…I shall permit team seven to attempt a C-rank mission which is normally reserved for Chunin ranked Shinobi…" The elderly Hokage smiled around his pipe, "The protection of a certain individual."

Whilst Kakashi picked his jaw off the ground, Naruto Recca and Domon were dancing a merry gig, arms entwined as they circled the annoyed Uchiha.

Sarutobi chuckled at their antics, which reminded him of his days with Jiraiya and the other sanin, before clearing his throat, nodding towards one of his secretaries.

"Please send him in."

The Shinobi nodded and opened the door, allowing an old man to walk in, Sake bottle in hand and wearing a travel sack on his back.

He glanced at the assembled team, took a swig of the liver-poisoning liquid, and snorted derisively.

"What's going on here?" the man muttered in a thick accent, "They look like a bunch of Wet-nosed brats." He looked at Naruto, "Especially, the blonde midget," he snorted "and that shaved gorilla, are you guys really ninjas?"

Domon, having grown used to being called names over the years, held back a raging Naruto by his collar, scowling.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DIMINUITIVE RUNTY LITTLE DWARF!" the blonde snarled, limbs waving in the air as he fought to escape the giant's grip.

The man snorted, unimpressed, then flinched in horror as he felt the business end of a kunai placed at his throat.

"I'd choose my words carefully, old man." Recca warned, letting the edge of the kunai nick the man's throat, "Not many civilians can mock ninja's without having to back up their words."

The man shivered, looking nervous as Recca stepped away from him and walked back to his friends.

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Kakashi, sighing to himself as Naruto finally calmed down, looked at their employer. "And you are?"

The man nodded, shakily, before pointing to himself, "My name is Tazuna," he introduced, patting himself on the chest, "a bridge builder of ultimate renown."

He eyed the group cautiously, "Until I'm safely back in my home country, where my current project is under way, I'll expect you to protect me with your lives."

Recca grinned, giving the man a cheeky salute. "Pleased to meet you Tazuna-san!" he greeted, "but if you expect to live to see your own country, or even the gates of Konoha, you should know that Naruto's shortness is a taboo subject."

Kakashi sighed as Naruto leapt at his surrogate brother and attempted to throttle him for his comment, dragging Domon into the fray as well.

'This is going to be a long day…'

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Kagero smiled as the trio packed their things, though she couldn't help but feel concerned.

"You do know this is a C-class mission?" she prompted, playing with her necklace as she watched them pack.

"Relax mom," Recca replied, rubbing his nose, "I'll come back alive."

"I'll watch the idiot's back," Domon added, flexing his arm, "no need to worry, Kagero-san."

Recca thumped the giant and grinned, "Who you calling an idiot Franken-dick?"

Naruto shook his head and shoved another ramen pack into his bag, until Kagero coughed, holding out three scrolls.

"A nice man named Tenshin gave me these when I was shopping," she explained, "they're storage scrolls."

She tossed one each to the boys, who blinked at them in confusion.

"Place your goods on them and make the ram seal," she instructed, "they'll be stored in the scrolls and you'll have more room in your packs."

Naruto leapt up and hugged the woman, before dashing off to the kitchen to grab every single instant Ramen cup he could find, while Domon grinned and stashed Kuchibashi-o in the scrolls, along with his weights and the Taijutsu scroll he'd been looking at.

Recca looked up at the two as Naruto reentered, his face serious.

"We got an hour," he explained, "and Kakashi-sensei won't show up for another three anyway, so what do ya say we practice tree climbing again?"

Domon grunted and stood up, rotating his joints as Naruto finished sealing his ramen and ran out to join them.

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Tazuna growled at the trio as they finally showed up, he'd been standing here with the damn emo kid for over three hours, and it wasn't making his hangover any better.

"Where the hell have you brats been?" he started yelling, just as there was a poof of smoke and Kakashi greeted him with a raised hand, causing the bridhe builder to jump.

"Yo!"

"YOU'RE LATE!" The trio roared, sending poor Kakashi flying backwards into the guardhouse wall, deafening Tazuna and scaring a flock of birds into the air.

The elderly bridge builder wisely decided to keep his comments to himself from now on, especially around those three.

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By the time Kakashi had pulled himself out of the wall, the group had finally set off on their journey. The trio was singing a lewd marching song that was causing an annoyed Sasuke to blush, Kakashi was nose deep into his pornography, and Tazuna was eyeing the surrounding woodlands suspiciously as he chugged his sake.

"C'mon teme!" Naruto yelled over his shoulder, "Sing along!"

The Uchiha snorted and looked away, causing the blonde to twitch in annoyance before grinning vindictively. Taking a deep breath, the blonde began chanting a new song at the top of his lungs, as if trying to make sure everyone in Konoha heard him. (heh, trying...RIIIGHT.)

"Oh…Sasuke is a great big queer do-da, do-da."

Domon grinned, putting an arm around the blonde and joining in. "He likes to take it up the rear, oh-de-do-da-day."

Sasuke twitched and hurled a kunai at the trio as they broke into a chorus.

"Oh-de-doodle-da, oh-de-do-da-day! He likes to take it up the rear!"

"All the live long day!" Recca finished, before dodging a punch from the enraged Uchiha.

Tazuna watched the four genin with some concern, especially since the Uchiha was starting to use his giant shuriken.

"Is this normal?" he asked, prompting a sigh from Kakashi as the jounin and gave the man a long-suffering look.

"I'm afraid so," he muttered, "but they're good shinobi when it comes down to it, so there's little need to worry."

At that moment, a barbed chain wrapped around the jounin, before he was reduced to spaghetti sauce, the lumpy kind.

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"One little piggy." One of the assailants said sinisterly, both suddenly vanishing, or tried to anyway. Recca's foot slammed into the face of one and Naruto donkey kicked another in the jaw.

As they stumbled back, one of them slashed Naruto in the hand, only for Domon to grab both of them and crack their skulls together savagely, knocking them out and depriving them of a few functiong brain cells in the process.

The exchange took less than thirty seconds, as Kakashi noted from his position in the treeline, his faux-body hadn't even finished hitting the ground before the trio had gone into action.

'They act dumb,' he noted, 'but those three have a reaction time that puts chnin to shame.'

He eyed them from his positon in the trees, frowning slightly as he tried to evaluate their skills.

'I just may have to take this seriously after all.'

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Well there you have it, yet another installment of Naruto's adventures with team Hokage!

Next installment, the team gets a first hand glimpse of a jouni level battle, and Recca notices something odda bout his 'outoto'.

OH! and expect plenty more Kakashi bashing!

Kakashi: why must you hurt me so?

Kyugan: Because your reckless teaching almost got Naruto killed.

Kakashi: Ano...that's not...

Kyugan: You taught Sasuke an assasination technique,all you taught Naruto was tree climbing, which most genin know how to do as soon as they passed the exam!

Kakashi: I-!

Kyugan: On top of that! You left him on his own while you focused on the damn traitor! Well! what do you have to say for yourself!

Kakashi: (raises fingure, lowers it, raises it again, then slumps.)

Kyugan: That's right, I thought so.

Enjoying the story so far? Have problems with anything? You know what to do!

R&R!!!


	7. Chapter 7

Ah, yet another installment of the mis-adventures of Naruto Recca and the crew, will it be worth the wait? You have no idea how much I appreciate all those questions people have been sending in, they really help to get the neurons fired up. So without further ado, here's our latest installment!

(Waits a few seconds, nothing happens.(

Kyugan: (growls) Kakashi!

(Whipcrack, followed by girlish scream.)

Kakashi: Okay Okay I'll roll the tape!

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First encounter! The Kirigakure no Kiishin vs. Sharingan Kakashi!

"You can come out now, Sensei." Recca called out, and sure enough, an impressed looking Kakashi stepped out of the woodwork, perfectly unharmed. Needless to sayu the jounin hifd his earlier suspicion behind a pleased smile.

"Good work everyone," he congratulated, nodding towards the unconcious demon drothers, "you all did very well."

"Hey!" Naruto balked, pointing at his raven haired teammate in protest, "Sasuke-teme didn't do anything!"

The Uchiha scowled and refused to comment, but Kakashi cut in, trying to lessen the tension between the two as he saw the Uchiha's hand move towards his kunai pouch.

"Maa…he stayed near Tazuna-san," the jounin coaxed, "that counts as guarding him."

"Yeah right," Domon spat, "idiot was just standing there while WE did all the work." He rolled his shoulder irritably, "Still, whadd'ya expect from a fifth wheel?"

Sasuke was glaring holes into the giant's head by this point, positively seething with barely restrained fury. Deciding to defuse the situation before the teen pulled an Itachi, Kakashi stepped forwards, face deadly serious.

"This is no time for arguing!" he cut in, looking at his blonde charge, "Naruto, their claws are poisoned, we need to treat the wound as soon as possible."

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Naruto froze at the word 'poisoned', as Kakashi explained that opening the wound to allow the blood to flow would stop the poison, before turning to interrogate a trembling Tazuna. The blonde stared at his hand in shock, before twitching at the thought of the poison spreading through his body handicapping the mission and growled, grabbing a kunai.

SHUNK!

"Naruto!" Recca yelled as the blonde stabbed himself in the hand with his own Kunai.

"Whadd'ya think your doing Squirt?!" Domon roared running over, along with Recca to help the boy he'd come to regard as a younger brother.

Sasuke, Kakashi and Tazuna stared at the blonde in shock as he gazed at them, tears of pain leaking out the corners of his eyes.

"With this Kunai knife," Naruto grit out, "I swear that I will protect the old man." He grinned at Tazuna, his hand half clenched and covered in blood. "Reporting fit for duty, master!"

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Kakashi blinked, mentally wondering if all those blows to his charge's head were finally kicking in.

"Naruto…its true we needed a free flow of blood to clean the wound," he admitted, "but you've exceeded the limit."

Naruto winced and looked at his hand, sweating slightly as the jounin smiled at him, eye resembling an inverted U.

"I'm serious;" Kakashi insisted, "you could bleed to death like this."

"AAARRRGGHH! NO!" Naruto shrieked, flailing around like a rag doll, "I don't wanna die! Save me!"

"BAKA!" Recca yelled, slamming a fist into his outoto's head, "hold still so I can bandage the damn wound!"

Naruto complied while Domon shook his head exasperatedly.

"Damn, he's as crazy as you are Hanabishi," the giant muttered, sounding amused despite the irritation on his face, "next thing you know he'll be committing seppuku for failing to protect the frigging lush."

Tazuna snorted at the reference to his drinking but let it slide, casting an appraising look at the blonde shinobi.

'The kid's a lot more mature than he looks…'

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Recca muttered as he bandaged Naruto's hand, frowning as something unusual caught his attention.

'The wound's already stopped bleeding,' he muttered, eyes widening as he saw the skin knitting itself up at an unusual pace, 'it's almost healed!'

Not saying anything to attract attention, he covertly signed at his friend and brother when he was certain no one was watching.

(We need to talk later.)

Domon and Naruto nodded silently, the latter loudly thanking his 'Nii-san' for helping him to cover up for the momentary silence, receiving a noogie for his trouble.

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"Dammit." Domon growled as he sat Indian style in the middle of the boat, glaring out into the thick fog. "Can you see anything, Squirt?" the giant asked looking to the front where he could almost make out Naruto's blonde hair as the teen stood at the prow.

"Nothing but fog far as I can see." Naruto replied, sneezing irritably, "Damn I hate this!"

Recca told them to keep it down, as he was keeping an eye out for possible intruders, Sasuke doing likewise from the other side of the boat. At that moment a massive bridge, partially completed, came into view, looming over them through the mist like some skeletal monstrosity.

"Not bad eh?" Tazuna said, puffing out his chest, only to face fault as Domon claimed at having seen bigger, to which Recca nodded, chuckling at the old man's reaction.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, knowing this was quite possibly the largest bridge in the shinobi countries.

'Where could they have seen anything bigger?'

Passing through the mangroves, Naruto commented that it looked like a floating forest, which led to one of Kakashi's lectures on how it technically was. Domon noticed some houses built into the larger ones, connected by platforms, which Tazuna explained to be home to fishermen, the only people who had any contact with the outside world other than Tazuna himself.

The team docked at one such platform, getting off the boat with great satisfaction.

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"Thanks again…" Tazuna muttered, smiling at the owner of the boat, "you took such a risk, I shouldn't have asked it of you."

The Ferryman waved and went off, his boat's engine gurgling in the water. Naruto did some stretches, cramped after being in the boat for so long, before letting out a depressed sigh.

"Man," he complained, "that was my first boat ride and it completely sucked ass!"

Recca shrugged, "A shinobi's job isn't glamorous, and their deeds are rarely acknowledged," he smirked, at the blonde, "Even if we complete the mission, they probably won't remember our names or faces."

Kakashi nodded silently, approving of the teens attitude. 'Better to accept that fact than get yourself killed showing off.' He theorized, eyeing the surroundings carefully.

They were walking along a hidden path to Tazuna's village when Naruto twitched suddenly hurling a shuriken at the bushes, scaring the shit out of Tazuna and Kakashi, the latter of whom wasn't expecting an attack that soon.

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"WHADD'YA THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU DAMN MIDGET?!" Tazuna roared, as the blonde went in to investigate, returning with a fainted rabbit, "STOP TRYING TO ACT COOL DAMMIT!"

Recca glared at the bridge builder, whilst Domon restrained a raging Naruto. "Old man," the tekko wearing genin warned, "unless you want to die, shut up."

Tazuna blinked, startled at the warning. "You can't kill me!" he protested though his voice sounded uncertain, "I'm your contractor!"

"True," Recca conceded, "but your loud voice probably just alerted every enemy ninja in the area to our presence." He pointed at the rabbit dangling from Naruto's fist, "Besides, this is a snow hare, notice anything about it?"

Domon stared at it for a moment before blinking in confusion. "It's summer," he muttered, "so why's the fur white?"

Sasuke blinked, scowling at the surroundings. 'Dammit! A Kawarimi!'

"GET DOWN!" Kakashi yelled, pushing Tazuna under him, the genin leaping down just as something whirled overhead, slamming into a tree. Team seven and their contractor stared in shock at the man standing on the handle of one of the largest swords any of them had ever seen.

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"Well now…" Kakashi muttered as everyone stood up, forming a defensive ring around Tazuna, "If it isn't Momochi Zabuza of Kirigakure no Sato, the hidden mist village…"

He tilted his head, looking over his shoulder whilst keeping his visible eye on the mist-nin.

"Everyone stay back, give me room." He frowned at the enemy-nin, "This one's in a whole other league than the two we fought earlier."

Zabuza looked over his shoulder at them, mouth hidden behind bandages. "Sharingan Kakashi I presume?" he stated, sounding intrigued, "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you surrender the old man?"

Recca, Domon and Naruto blinked, confused as heck.

"Sharingan? I thought Sensei's clan name was Hatake?" Naruto asked, the others nodding.

Sasuke twitched and eyed the jounin, knowing that the sharingan was HIS family's prized Kekkei Genkai, just as Kakashi lifted up his Hitai-ate to reveal a red eye with three spinning tomoes around the pupil, causing the assembled genin and civilian to gape in shock.

"Ah…" Zabuza sighed, "To face the legendary sharingan so early into the fight…this IS an honour."

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"Hold up!" Naruto yelled, crossing his arms, "What the fuck is this Sharingan thingy your all going on about?!"

"Yeah," Domon nodded, "and what's up with Sensei's eye, is it infected or something?"

Kakashi sweatdropped, stubbornly resisting the urge to facefault with every fiber of his being, before shaking his head.

"No, it isn't infected Domon," he assured the teen, "THIS is the sharingan eye."

Sasuke snorted, deciding to enlighten his teammates as to the greatness of the Uchiha Kekkei Genkai.

"Shinobi with the sharingan eye have access to a powerful ocular jutsu, or dojutsu, that enables them to penetrate any illusion or jutsu, and to reflect them back at the caster." He relayed, frowning at his enigmatic sensei, "And there's more."

Zabuza snorted, "Indeed, the Sharingan's most infamous skill, is the ability to scan and duplicate the greatest skills of the user's opponent."

The mist-nin nodded, eyeing his leaf counterpart carefully.

"When I was a member of the Kirigakure ANBU, I possessed the usual bingo book of all our enemies." He frowned at Kakashi, "There was quite a bit on you, as well as your impressive record; the man who had copied over a thousand different jutsu and techniques, Sharingan Kakashi, the copy-nin."

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The group stared at the grey haired jounin in awe upon the conclusion of Zabuza's speech, Kakashi slowly basking in his apparent greatness with a small, concealed smile.

The moment was ruined when Recca blinked, looking put on.

"Lemme get this straight," he deadpanned, "he's famous for being a plagiarist?"

Kakashi face faulted as Zabuza's eyes widened at the sheer absurdity of the comment, the other pranksters slowly snapping out of their daze.

"Hanabishi's right," Domon pointed out, "that's no way to become a true warrior."

The giant snorted, looking decidedly unimpressed, "Stealing an opponent's hard earned techniques and using it against them, I don't care what you say, that still sounds like stealing to me, and Ishijima Domon ain't no thief!"

Naruto, feeling guilty at thinking the jutsu had sounded cool, nodded vigorously. "Yeah!" he yelled, "Only cheap-ass bastards with no talent would steal someone else's techniques!"

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Sasuke twitched in barely restrained fury, fingering his kunai pouch lovingly as he glared at the babbling trio.

First these idiots manage to trump him in the written exam, and then they outshone him during the actual genin test. They stole the spotlight provided by the first bit of real action, mocked him constantly…and now they were bad mouthing his family's prized Kekkei Genkai?

'There will be a reckoning for you three.' He muttered through clenched teeth, eyeing their opponent warily, 'Hopefully today.'

He frowned at Kakashi, who was only just getting back on his feet.

'However…the Sharingan IS solely exclusive to the Uchiha clan,' the avenger muttered, 'could he be…?'

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"Enough," Zabuza cut in, "Pleasant and…amusing as this conversation has been…" The mist-nin let off an uncharacteristic chuckle, "The time for talk is over, I'm on a very tight schedule to polish off the old man."

He shifted his glare from Tazuna, to Kakashi, a dark twinkle entering his gaze.

"But I suppose I'll have to kill you first, eh, 'Plagiarist' Kakashi?"

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Kakashi winced at the mocking title, seeing the mirthless glee in the other jounin's eyes.

'My reputation is completely ruined…isn't it?' he thought, looking over the shoulder at his team, three of which were grinning like the Cheshire cat, the fourth scowling at him suspiciously.

'Oh boy,' he sweatdropped, 'I so do not need this right now.'

Zabuza and his blade disappeared suddenly; the mist jounin reappeared standing on the lake's surface, hands already forming seals.

"See! Told you there was such a jutsu!" Recca crowed, to which Domon replied he never said there wasn't, whilst Naruto tried to keep them from fighting.

Ignoring the genins' outburst Zabuza eyed them eerily through the rapidly thickening fog.

"The finest of the Ninja arts…" he muttered, before the mist enveloped him, "Kirigakure no jutsu"

Abruptly, the mist and fog became so dense the Konoha shinobi could swear they could see their shadows reflected on it.

"Be on your guard everyone." Kakashi warned, "Momochi Zabuza, of the Kirigakure ANBU corps, is a famous master of the art of silent killing. Letting your guard down around him buys you a direct trip to heaven."

As team Seven gathered around Tazuna in a protective ring, a chilly voice echoed around them, causing their hackles to rise up.

"There are eight targets…" Zabuza's voice called out, eerily nerve-racking, like something out of Orochimaru's worst nightmares.

"Throat, Spinal column, lungs, liver, the jugular vein, the sub-clavian artery, kidney, heart…so many choices, what vital, vulnerable place shall I choose?"

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Sasuke shivered as the demonic chuckling echoed all around him, setting the teen's hacklles on edge.

'This…killing intent!' he gasped, suddenly finding it hard to breathe, 'If I so much as blink he'll kill me!'

He began to sweat, eyeing the fog with all the nervousness of a three-legged cat at a rabid greyhound convention.

'Can't stay still for long,' he muttered, his kunai slick with sweat, 'I'm losing it…he's a jounin, determined to make a kill…my life's in his hands.'

The avenger tightened his grip on the trembling kunai, gritting his teeth in shame as he closed his eyes.

'I hate this feeling!' he cursed, 'I want to die just to end the suspense!'

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"Sasuke. Calm down." Kakashi muttered, snapping the teen out of his thoughts, "Even if he gets me I'll still protect you."

The jounin smirked at the Uchiha, his eye it's typical inverted U, "I will never let my comrades die!"

Sasuke blinked, calmed slightly by the man's assurances, only fior Domon's snort to cut through the mist somewhere to the Uchiha's right.

"Way to pick favorites sensei," the giant muttered, "could you be any more obvious?"

"It would seem you're losing your respectability, Kakashi." Zabuza stated, appearing right in the middle of them and about to swing at Tazuna, until Kakashi rammed into his chest. Abruptly, the Zabuza before Kakashi changed into water, as another charged at the copy ninja, vivisecting him with his oversized cleaver.

This time Kakashi turned into water, the real one placing a kunai at the mist Nin's throat. Zabuza snorted, looking more amused than annoyed.

"You think mimicking me like an ape…will enable you to defeat me?" He laughed, "I'll admit you're good, copying my techniques and having the bunshin mimic your actions flawlessly, all the while using the kirigakure to watch my movements…unfortunately for you…"

Kakashi flinched as a voice spoke right in his ear.

"I am not that easy to fool!"

The copy-nin ducked to avoid the Zanbato's massive blade, only to be sent flying by a kick to the ribs from Zabuza.

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'Strong!' Recca thought, watching as the mist nin blurred out of sight, 'Is he in Domon's league?' the flame wielder wondered as Kakashi fell in the lake a good fifteen feet away.

'His physical abilities are fantastic!' Sasuke stated in awe, as Domon and Naruto were yelling for Kakashi to surface, looks of relief spreading across their faces when the jounin complied.

'Why is this water so heavy?' Kakashi muttered, just as Zabuza reappeared, taunting him for being so gullible.

'Snake, Ram, Horse, Hare, Ram, Horse, Hare.'

"Suirou no jutsu!" Zabuza called out, and Kakashi was suspended in a bubble like dome filled with water.

"You thought you could escape under water and regroup, but that was a tactical error!" Zabuza mocked, "This Suirou, water prison is inescapable."

He scowled at his captive, and annoyed glint in his eyes as he watched the jounin struggle to get out.

"Having you running around makes my mission harder," the mist-nin muttered, "I'll finish you off later…after I've dealt with the others: Mizu bunshin no jutsu!"

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Another Zabuza formed from the water and leered at the genin, slouched over slightly like a limp corpse.

"Heh-heh, little shinobi wannabes, running around with the gall to wear Hitai-ate." It muttered, "True ninja are those who have crossed the barrier between life and death continuously."

Team seven flinched and braced themselves as the bunshin lifted an arm in a one handed seal.

"Where I come from," it muttered, "we don't call the likes of you 'Ninja'…we call them…"

The bunshin disappeared and Naruto was sent flying courtesy of a kick to the forehead, the bunshin placing it's foot over the blonde's fallen Hitai-ate.

"Brats." Zabuza finished, smirking behind his wrappings as Domon and Recca called out to their teammate.

"Everyone, listen! Take Tazuna and go!" Kakashi called out from the prison, "You can't win this fight, and he can't leave this spot if he wishes to hold me!"

The jounin tried to make the genin see reason, pointing at Zabuza from within his prison.

"His Mizu-bunshin will lose its integrity the further it gets from him!" he called out, "So scram!"

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Recca was about to tell the Jounin to shove it when Naruto charged the bunshin, kunai in hand and pulling off a decent Braveheart impression sans the kilt and makeup.

"Naruto!" the enjutsu-shi yelled, "What're you doing BAKA?!"

"You trying to get yourself killed?!" Domon roared, dashing forward after his blonde teammate. The bunshin kicked out and connected solidly with Naruto's stomach, but not before the blonde had achieved his goal, retrieving his headband.

Domon caught the blonde in mid-flight and eased him to the ground, blinking in shock as the teen climbed to his feet and stumbled forwards.

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"Hey…" Naruto mumbled, coughing out a little blood from the blow, "what's life like without eyebrows...freak?"

Zabuza twitched at the slur and watched as the genin took a few steps forward.

"Gotta new name for that bingo book of yours right here!" the blonde boasted, "The guy who's gonna be the next Hokage of Konohagakure…"

Taking a deep breath as he pulled on his Hitai-ate, the blonde smirked, pointing at himself with his thumb.

"Hanabishi Naruto, Shinobi of Konoha!"

Recca and Domon grinned and stepped up behind their teammate.

"Don't forget us!" Recca called out, "Heir to the Hokage ninja clan and adoptive brother of this idiot, Hanabishi Recca!"

"The strongest man in Konohagakure no sato," Domon bragged while flexing a muscle, "Ishijima Domon-sama!"

The two grinned, standing just a few steps in front of their teammate.

"You wanna threaten the future lord Hokage? You gotta go through us." Recca dared, grinning sadistically as Domon cracked his knuckles.

"As Mikagami would put it," the Giant growled, scowling at the missing nin, "Let's dance, you brow-less macaque."

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Zabuza twitched in annoyance at the reference to his eyebrows, wondering what these kids were made off; one allowing himself be hit just for a headband, and the others showing virtually no fear despite being outclassed.

"You seem very sure of yourselves." He muttered, "But you're delusional if you actually think you stand a chance against me."

"Tough talk, "Recca snorted, eyeing the jounin condescendingly, "coming from a guy that's so afraid of copycat-sensei that he trapped him in a jutsu that renders himself vulnerable to attack."

Zabuza twitched, then began to chuckle, almost sinisterly.

"Apparently you brats don't plan to live very long." He noted, lifting his free arm up slowly, "Playing about, pretending to be real ninjas. I however…"

The jounin held his hand up to his face, almost claw-like in it's appearance.

"By the time I'd reached your age," Zabuza muttered, "I'd already dyed these hands in the blood of my opponents."

The genin and Tazuna flinched at this, whilst Kakashi growled in his prison, eyeing his jailor distastefully.

"The demon…Zabuza!"

Zabuza tilted his head, almost intrigued at the jounin's knowledge.

"It would appear that my reputation has preceded me…"

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"Long ago..." Kakashi stated, eyeing his captor carefully, "In Kirigakure, which even today is known as the 'village of the bloody mist', the final test for any potential shinobi was the most inhumanely difficult imaginable."

Zabuza looked at his captive, "Ah…so you've heard of our little graduation exercise."

"What the hell are you talking about no-brows?" Recca muttered with a frown, eyeing the glaring conversing jounin with annoyance. Zabuza began to chuckle again, actually lowering his head as he did so, but when he looked up his eyes held a demonic glint.

"It was a killing spree," he elaborated gleefully, "among classmates."

Naruto's eyes shot open, as did Sasuke and Domon's, Recca looked deathly pale, and Tazuna was turning green.

"Students that had grown up together," Kakashi continued, his tone serious as a heart attack, "been friends, eaten together, were divided into pairs and fought to the death."

He looked over at his own students, "Think of it, students that had trained together, lived together, and shared each others hopes and dreams…"

Domon flinched, shaking his head and shivering at the thought.

"Man…sounds like that 'Battle Royal' manga." He whispered to Recca, who nodded, the two of them having rented the films as well, just before leaving for the Urabatosatsujin.

Kakashi frowned, not getting the reference, before shrugging it out of his thoughts and continuing where he left off.

"Ten years ago, the Elders of Kirigakure were forced to enact a sweeping reform of their barbaric graduation ritual, because of the appearance, during the previous year, of a human fiend who made the reform essential…"

Sasuke looked up, looking interested at this bit of information.

"What kind of reform?" he asked. Zabuza lowered his head, eyes closed, creeping the Uchiha out. "What are you talking about, what happened?" the avenger repeated, looking to his captured sensei for answers.

Kakashi closed his eyes, looking incredibly solemn.

"Without a moments hesitation," he muttered, "without the slightest hint of a qualm, a boy that hadn't even qualified as a ninja yet…" his eyes shot open to glare at his captor, "butchered over a hundred members of that years graduating class."

Zabuza lifted his head, a look of sadistic glee on his face as he smiled.

"Ah yes. Good times…I used to have such fun."

He grinned at the genin through his wrappings, causing them to flinch in horror.

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Naruto, shocked to his core shivered. 'This guy butchered that year's graduates?' he wondered, unconsciously taking a step back, 'And he hadn't even qualified as a ninja himself?'

To the group's shock, Domon started laughing weakly, snapping them out of their daze.

"Oi…Hanabishi," he called out, a weak grin on his face, "is it just me, or does this guy remind you of anyone?"

Recca nodded, scowling slightly at their opponent. "Yeah…HIM."

Zabuza frowned, annoyed at their reaction, or lack thereof. "What're you two talking about?" he growled, causing Domon to snort, shivering at the memory of Kagero's story.

"When Recca was a baby," the giant muttered, "his older brother tried to kill him."

The collective shinobi flinched, particularly Sasuke who eyed the enjutsu-shi out the corner of his eye.

"And get this," Domon added, "the bastard was only FIVE at the time."

As everyone stared at the giant in shock he shook his head, eyeing the mist nin with a glare.

"After hearing a tale like that," Domon muttered, "you really think the tale of some schoolboy murdering his classmates'll scare us?"

Naruto eyed Recca, who was looking…serious; DEAD serious, like a heart attack.

"Zabuza…this is your only warning." The enjutsu-shi called out, clenching his fist, which began to get hazy. "Surrender or die, your choice."

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Before the Nin could reply, Domon charged his bunshin. The replica swung it's sword down in an attempt to cleave the genin in two, only for the giant to punch right though it, causing the jutsu to break.

Naruto hurled a Shuriken at Sasuke; the Uchiha surprised at being included in the plan but smirked, before hurling the Fuuma shuriken at the missing Nin, who jumped over it, dodging the second attack from the rear by forcibly releasing the water prison. Glaring at Naruto, Zabuza spun the shuriken he'd caught and prepared to hurl it, before a massive metal beak rammed into his gut.

Domon grinned as he commanded the madogu to return, spinning it around on the chain with his right hand, the left holding the rest of the chain.

"You okay there Squirt?" He asked, grinning as Naruto flipped him off. Kakashi climbed to his feet and congratulated them for working as a team, before turning to face Zabuza, who was livid with rage.

The two jounin leapt apart and began making seals while standing on water.

'Ox, Monkey, Hare, Rat, Boar, Bird, Ox, Horse, Bird, Rat, Tiger, Dog, Tiger, Snake, Ox, Ram, Snake, Boar, Ram, Rat, Ninth, Monkey, Bird, Dragon, Bird, Ox, Horse, Ram, Tiger, Snake, Rat, Monkey, Hare, Boar, Dragon, Ram, Rat, Ox, Monkey, Bird, Ninth, Rat, Ram, Bird.'

"Suiton: Suiryuudan no jutsu!" the two cried out in chorus, the two jutsus canceling each other out.

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Recca whistled, visibly impressed with the feat of skill the two jounin had just displayed.

'For a copycat technique…that ain't too shabby…' he admitted, before shivering, a scary thought passing through his head. "Hope Mikagami never learns that one…" he muttered, causing Domon to nod his head nervously.

'He's deadly enough with that icicle viper as it is!' the giant whimpered, remembering just how deadly their swordsman friend could be.

The two jounin circled each other, Kakashi mirroring Zabuza's movements flawlessly, before apparently imitating his thoughts as well. It was one of his patented moves, a little subliminal messaging, a little scripted monologue, and all he had to do was finish the poor bastard's sentences to drive him up the wall.

It was a technique that had yet to fail him, save in battles against multiple opponents, and was having the desired effect on the short-fused mist jounin.

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"You mimic me like a parrot!" Zabuza yelled, slamming through another set of seals, "I'll shut your beak for good!"

However, just before finishing the final seal, the jounin froze in shock, as he saw the ghostly image of himself standing behind Kakashi, stalling him in mid-jutsu long enough for Kakashi to replicate it, sending the startled mist nin hurtling backwards, a victim of his own water jutsu.

"Suiton: Daibakufu no jutsu!"

The maelstrom tore through the forest like an Akimichi in a gingerbread house, sending trees and debris hurling in all directions, and buffeting the poor demon of the mist against whatever got in it's way, before finally wearing off.

Zabuza coughed out the water in his lungs as he stared up at the jounin in the tree, eyes wide with fear.

"Can…can you see the future…?" he wondered, only for Kakashi to scowl at him, Sharingan spinning mockingly.

"Your future is death."

Abruptly, two senbon needles shot through the air, piercing Zabuza's neck, causing the missing Nin to lurch forwards lifelessly to land on the floor with a wet thud.

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Kakashi, team seven and Tazuna, who'd been hiding behind a tree like the great man he was, stared in shock at the assassin's lifeless body, before looking at the tree the Senbon had come from.

A figure wearing a white mask with a swirl on it stood there, gazing down at them, belt- sash swaying in the wind, chuckling softly.

"It would appear… that your prediction came true." A muffled voice said cheerfully, as the shocked audience watched on.

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Ah, the amazing Haku has arrived, will our young ninja of indistinguishable gender be caught out early? or will the amsked prodigy live on to force others to question their sexuality? There's only one way to tell!

Haku: Ano...I AM male you know...

Kyugan: That may be so for your cannon self, but I'm afraid that the reviewers have sick, twisted minds.

Haku: I'm not following.

Kyugan: Oh you will, look behind you.

Haku: Oh please, I'm a shinobi, we INVENTED that technique.

(A pair of pale arms wraps around the teen from behind, causing him to flush as they pull him into a rather ...squishy hug.)

Haku: Wha-what?! (looks behind and blinks)

FemHaku: Want to see if I'm this pale all over?

Kyugan: (supresses nose bleed.) That's so wrong but at the same time I can't look away...

Kakashi: Mhmm...(yelps as a whip cracks) Aw c'mon! can't I watch!

Kyugan: No ethically confusing pormn for you, USELESS, now go file the reviews like a good mortal meat-bag.

Kakashi: (whimper) yes sir...

R&R!!!!


	8. Chapter 8

Ahhh...that was refreshing, nothing like a nice long rest after so much frakking work.

Kakashi: (mutters) all you did was laze around doing nothing, I had to do the work!

Kugan: Hey, there's a perfectly good reason for that!

Kakashi: (Suspicious) Which is?

Kyugan: I don't like you, (cracks whip) now get back to work, or do I need to call in a favor from Hiruma?

Kakashi: (Turns pale with horror) NOOOOOO! Anything but HIM!

Kyugan: Then roll the tape already!

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A deceitful ploy; Kakashi's training!

Kakashi used shunshin to teleport down to Zabuza's limp form and checked the vitals, frowning at what he discovered.

'…WAY dead…' the jounin muttered, eying the youth in the trees warily. The masked teen bowed, voice muffled by the mask, disguising whatever the wearer's gender was.

"I thank you for your assistance," it greeted, "I hope you don't mind my interfering in your battle, but I wanted the satisfaction of putting Zabuza out of his misery myself."

Kakashi gazed at the teen cautiously, a calculating expression on his face. "The mask looks familiar," he noted, "correct me if I'm wrong…but aren't you a hunter Nin from kirigakure no Sato?"

The figure paused with its head tilted slightly, almost approvingly, "Aren't you a smart one?"

"Hunter nin?" Domon repeated with a frown, bracing himself for an attack as the figure nodded.

"I am indeed a Hunter nin, of Kirigakure's elite tracking unit." The figure paused, no doubt for effect, "It is our responsibility…and our art…to hunt down and deal with Rogues and Outlaws."

Recca flinched at this, before raising an eyebrow critically. "So you're basically the reason people don't betray heir villages?" he prodded, prompting the figure to chuckle lightly.

"You could say that…" the figure admitted.

Kakashi paused, eyeing the figure carefully as his students caught his, (he ASSUMED it was male) gaze.

'Judging by size and voice timbre…he couldn't be much older than Naruto…or any of my students,' he narrowed his eyes at the figure, 'yet he's already a full-fledged hunter-nin!'

The jounin leveled a watchful look at the masked teen, shivering slightly at the soulless gaze of the mask. 'He's no ordinary kid, that's for sure!'

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Naruto gazed from Zabuza's corpse to the shinobi hunter before glaring at the latter, who seemed interested at the attention.

"What's going on here?!" the blonde yelled, pointing at their apparent ally suspiciously, "Who are you?!"

Domon and Recca flinched, before Recca placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"He's not our enemy Naruto, relax would ya?" he frowned, gazing up at the masked teen in interest. "Though it is weird…were you following Zabuza all this time, or did you only show up when we started fighting?"

Domon snorted, steam leaving his left nostril as a sign of the giant's irritation. "Letting us do all the work…I oughta smash ya one!" he growled, twitching his fingers, making the joints pop.

The hunter-nin's head tilted, holding his palms up defensively at the larger teen's anger. "I do apologize," he assured them, "but a true shinobi takes advantage of any and all situations, Zabuza was distracted, so I took the shot."

"That's not it!" Naruto growled, pointing at the teen, "You can't be much older than us! Yet you took out Zabuza, who ain't no pushover Y'know!"

The blonde stamped a foot and glared at the ground, obviously put out. "Do we just suck or something?!"

Kakashi sighed as he walked up to the blonde and patted him on the head calmingly.

"Calm down," he soothed, "there will always be someone stronger or better at something than you…that's life."

He eyed his students carefully, making sure they were giving him their full attention before continuing. "This probably won't be the first time we bump into someone younger than you…and stronger than ME."

The genin scowled, each to his own thoughts, as the hunter-nin scooped up Zabuza's corpse. "The battle is over," he stated calmly, "Zabuza's remains must be disposed of, lest it reveal our villages secrets."

The masked Nin made a seal and nodded, sending a parting look towards a still mumbling Naruto.

"Farewell."

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They vanished in a plume of smoke, leaving a disarrayed team seven and Tazuna behind as the bridge builder started laughing to lighten the mood.

"You brats gotta feel humiliated after that!" he taunted, eyes closed and cheerful, "No matter, you can lick your wounds at my place! It's not like any of you are dead right?"

At that moment, Kakashi keeled over limply, with all the grace of a sack of potatoes.

"Sensei!" the group, sans Sasuke, called out, dashing towards him in concern, only to find him twitching slightly, an pained expression on his face.

'Damn…' Kakashi muttered, eye half shut with exhaustion, 'I used the sharingan too much…'

Domon grunted and hefted the jounin over his shoulders as easily as if he weighed nothing at all, causing Tazuna to sweatdrop at the feat of strength.

'Aren't the roles kinda reversed here?' the old man muttered, only to be ignored because the multi-verse really couldn't give a shit.

"Man, old age must really be getting to you sensei," Domon mocked, "WE haven't even broken a sweat!"

Kakashi twitched, glaring at the back of the giant's head as he carried him down the path. 'Like you did anything remotely as strenuous against Zabuza…' he began; only to trail off with a sigh as the group headed off towards the bridge builders house.

'Ah well,' he conceded, 'they managed to work as a team anyway.'

He winced as Domon shook him as they passed over a slight dip in the path, earning a feeble grunt of protest from the jounin as his body flared in protest.

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At Tazuna's house, Tsunami made sure that Kakashi was comfortable, wondering how he'd managed to develop saddle sores across his abdomen, to which Kakashi refused to elaborate, though he did mutter something about insensitive giants and rural paths. As the woman went about ministering to the jounin, team 7 went about tending to their own wounds.

"Good idea bringing that medical kit Domon." Recca muttered as he disinfected a cut from the bunshin's Zanbato, the giant rolling the cap back on the bottle.

"What about my hand?" Naruto asked, only for Recca to tell him to keep it down with a look, sighing in relief that neither Kakashi nor Sasuke had noticed. The former receiving a massage from Tsunami and Tazuna to ease the swelling, and the latter too busy glaring out the window.

(Not here, later) Recca signed to the blonde, who nodded in understanding, making a fuss as Domon checked him over for injuries.

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With Kakashi safely tucked away, still a little stiff about the abdomen, the group turned their attention to other matters, namely the masked Nin that took out Zabuza.

"That mask is worn by the elite amongst the Kirigakure hunter-nins, codenamed the 'Undertaker Squad'." Kakashi explained, from his prone position on the futon. "They're called that because they dispose of corpses so thoroughly it's as if they never existed."

Recca shivered, looking disturbed at the thought. "I knew a shinobi's life wasn't glamorous," the teen muttered, shaking his head, "but that just doesn't sound right…I mean, we serve our villages loyally, just to be carved open later?"

Kakashi sighed, silently agreeing with the teen, but lacking the energy to correct him on the importance of the teams and the essential need for secrecy.

"In any case," he continued, "Hunter-nins specialize in hunting down missing-nins, and obliterating their remains, in order to ensure their villages respective secrets remain just that."

He gazed at his team, a somber mood in his eye. "Silently and without a trace, that is how Shinobi leave this world."

The occupant's of the room lowered their heads reverently, except for Domon, who shivered at an image of Zabuza's corpse lying in several pieces like building blocks.

'I hope Fuko doesn't become a hunter Nin…' he muttered, shivering at the image of his beloved chasing after him with a bloody chainsaw.

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Zabuza sat up, ripping a senbon out of his neck and glaring at his masked accomplice accusingly. "You have all the finesse of a butcher." He growled, prompting a smile from the teen.

"I learned from the best." Was the reply, before the figure looked round warily, "regardless, without us noticing, the mist has lifted."

Zabuza said nothing, prompting the masked teen to look at him. "Will you be alright, next time?" Haku queried, causing Zabuza to nod tiredly, a glare in his eyes as he re-arranged his wrappings.

"Next time," the jounin muttered, "I'll defeat the sharingan."

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Kakashi jerked awake suddenly, startling Recca and Naruto, who were sitting near the bed, the two promptly hiding their hands from view and completely failing to look innocent.

'It can't be that simple,' the jounin muttered, missing the expressions due to his current state, 'I THOUGHT I missed something!

"Sensei, you alright?" Recca asked, leaning over to help the jounin sit up, suppressing a chuckle at the fake lips that had been drawn on the man's mask.

"…Of course," Kakashi muttered, having not been paying attention, "hunter-nin usually dispose of their kills at once, right on the spot."

"So?" Naruto muttered, looking confused, snickering on the inside as he eyed the pile of mascara he'd put on the masked man's face.

"Think about it," the jounin replied tiredly, "how did the masked kid dispose of Zabuza's corpse?"

Domon blinked, "Dunno…didn't he take it with him?"

"Exactly, though all he needed as proof of a kill was the head." Kakashi muttered, "And then there's the weapon's he used."

Recca blinked, trying to recall what the teen had used and frowning in confusion. "Senbon needles?" he prompted, earning a nod from Kakashi.

Sasuke flinched in realization, eyes widening in shock. "No way…"

Kakashi frowned, nodding his head in a serious manner that completely belied his appearance. "…WAY."

Tazuna looked between the ninja's in confusion, scratching his head. "What's the problem Kakashi-san?" he asked, though he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at the jounin's new appearance.

Kakashi leveled a serious glare at them all, internally wondering what the hell they found so damn funny.

"Its likely," he explained, "that Zabuza is still alive!"

Recca, Domon, Naruto and Tazuna's faces went completely bug eyed and block toothed, while Tsunami looked confused, having not been told everything for her own peace of mind, let alone the fact she hadn't taken the grey haired jounin to be into THAT.

"What the heck are you talking about?!" Naruto yelled as he recovered, whilst Domon had a panic attack, running around the room screaming like a schoolgirl, complete with arm flapping.

"You checked his vitals didn't you?!" Recca asked, gripping the startled jounin by the flak-jacket, "He was dead right?!"

Kakashi nodded, looking solemn as he pried his pupil's hands off him. "I checked," he admitted, "but a skilled user of acupuncture needles could make it only APPEAR like Zabuza was dead, a temporary death if you will…"

As the jounin finished explaining the basics, the group shivered, Tazuna thought it was from fear but Kakashi knew otherwise.

'Recca, Domon and Naruto…seem excited at the possibility Zabuza survived.' He snorted, shaking his head. 'Weird kids.'

"So what're we gonna do?" Domon asked, having calmed down in mid-lecture, "We can't just sit around all day!"

Kakashi grinned behind his mask, eye resembling an inverted U. "Do?" he asked playfully, "Simple, I'm going to increase your training!"

The yells of glee deafened the adults and Sasuke as the trio grouped together to dance a merry jig.

"More training! Sweet!" Recca yelled.

"And from a jounin too!" Naruto added.

"The Brow-less wonder won't have nothing on us!" Domon finished, the three high-fiving each other.

"It won't do you any good." A child's voice muttered, the group spinning round to spy a young boy standing in the doorway.

"Inari, welcome home!" Tazuna yelled, opening his arms to embrace the boy. Inari looked at the ninjas, letting his gaze hover over the trio in particular, then pointed at them, a deadpan look on his face.

"Mama, they're all gonna die." He muttered, before eyeing Kakashi and nodding, "Especially the gay one."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU BRAT?!?!" the trio roared in symmetry, deafening everyone else in the immediate area. Kakashi merely blinked at the child's comment, before casting a look towards an annoyed Sasuke.

'I had my suspicions,' he admitted, 'but how'd this kid come to that conclusion?'

Inari, non-plussed, walked off towards his room, glaring at them over his shoulder. "If you don't wanna die, leave now." He muttered, closing the door to the room as he left

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as the child departed, Recca, Domon and Naruto were left trembling in rage, causing Kakashi to wince at the collective killing intent they were giving off, so thick it was like a black cloud hovering behind them.

"Tsunami-san?" the jounin prompted, gaining the woman's attention, "Could you make sure you keep Inari away from my students?"

He nodded at the dark aura they were giving off, laughing weakly as a tendril slithered past, causing his hair to shiver. "It would be to his benefit."

Tsunami sweatdropped at the sight of the trio's aura; shivering slightly as the occasional tendril wafted past her. "H-hai…" she stuttered, watching as the teens trudged off to let off some steam via beating the shit out of each other. When the left, she eyed the jounin carefully for a few minutes, before coughing, catching his attention.

"I have a friend in town…" she muttered offhandedly, a flush on his cheeks, "Do you want me to introduce you?"

Kakashi blinked and raised an eyebrow at her, "Pardon?"

Tsunami flushed and looked away, mortally embarrassed. "A-ano, forgive me," she muttered, "it's just…with that makeup…"

The jounin blinked again before patting his face, looking over at a nearby, crack-ridden mirror.

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The trio blinked and looked up as they heard a rather high-pitched squawk shatter the air, before each felt their faces settle into an appreciative sigh.

"Priceless." Domon muttered, as he listened to the echoes die down, Recca nodding his head in agreement, before slugging the giant in the teeth.

"Don't let your guard down Franken-dick!" the enjutsu-shi taunted, skipping out of the enraged teens reach.

"I'LL FLOSS MY TEETH WITH YOUR SPINE FOR THAT HANABISHI!"

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"For this exercise we will be climbing trees." Kakashi said, smiling at the genin cheerfully, despite the vein bulging in his hair. The jounin didn't know how, he didn't know when, but he was damn well going to make the trio suffer for the makeup gag, and a nice embarrassing session of tree climbing seemed like a good way to start.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as the 'buffoons', as he commonly referred to the trio, began to shake with badly suppressed laughter. 'What's so funny about this?' he muttered, before turning back to blink at Kakashi as the jounin walked up the tree and smiled down at them all, upside down.

"That's it in a nutshell." The jounin explained, "Theoretically, mastery of this jutsu means there shouldn't be ANY jutsu beyond your capabilities."

Recca snorted, waving a hand dismissively as Kakashi leveled off. "Yeah right Sensei," he boasted, "there's nothing difficult about walking up a tree."

Domon grinned, crossing his arms and nodding. "Yeah," he agreed, "I bet we could manage it on our first try!"

"That so?" Kakashi asked, raising an eyebrow, "Care for a little wager?"

The trio grinned, nodding their heads rapidly. "Name it." Naruto said, confidently, causing the jounin to pause in thought, before snapping his fingers.

"Okay," he called out, "If you can't make it up the tree on your first try, you don't get dinner and can't come back to the house till you can."

Recca grinned, pointing at the jounin confidently. "And if we do," he countered, "you gotta teach us a cool jutsu each!"

Kakashi paused for a moment, weighing the odds mentally before deciding it was worth a shot.

"Alright, fine." He muttered tossing kunai at the genins' feet, "Use those to mark your progress."

The trio grinned at each other in victory, prompting a look of interest from the jounin, before getting into running poses, like marathon runners.

"On your marks," Recca called out, "Get set…GO!"

And to the shock of the Uchiha and Jounin, all three virtually sprinted up the sides of their respective trees, disappearing into the canopy.

"Ha!" Recca's voice called out, "Domon! Naruto! Race ya to the top!"

"No fair Hanabishi!" Domon bellowed, "You got a head start!"

"Nii-san you cheater!" Naruto's whine cut through the leaves like an air-raid siren, humor echoing in his tones as much as the anger.

Kakashi stared gob-smacked as the trio disappeared into the canopy, wondering if he'd fallen and hit his head for a moment, before all three stuck their heads down and grinned at him cheekily, like a pack of monkeys that had nailed a daimyo with their spoor.

"Don't forget, you promised sensei!" they reminded him, far too sweetly for the jounin's liking, before disappearing into the leaves again to resume their race.

'I'm really not being paid enough for this' Kakashi muttered, making a mental note to demand a larger salary the moment he laid eyes on the Hokage again, that is if he didn't strangle the old man first for getting him into this mess.

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Sasuke shook with rage, eyes twitching uncontrollably as the leaves fell about him.

'How do those…those REJECTS…manage to upstage me every time?!' he snarled, before clenching his fists and glaring up into the canopy, where the trio's voices were still audible. 'I'll show them!'

The avenger gathered as much of his chakra as he could to the soles of his feet and ran up the side of his designated tree, but his anger caused him to channel too much, and he was sent blasting off the tree like a rocket, landing on his back on the ground a good five feet away, cursing out loud as he cradled his head.

Recca winced, shaking his head in sympathy as he watched the Uchiha thrash around in pain. "Looks like Uchiha isn't getting any lunch." He muttered, to which Domon and Naruto whooped.

"More for me!" the giant roared, raising his fists in the air, Naruto agreeing with him wholeheartedly, before they began to argue over who got the avenger's portion of the meal.

Kakashi sighed, as he watched leaves and twigs rain down from the bottom of the trees as the argument moved towards more physical methods.

'This is definitely not how I expected things to happen.'

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After taking Sasuke back to the house to recover from knocking himself out, the trio lined up before their sensei and grinned innocently, like a trio of choirboys before a ST. Peter.

Kakashi wasn't buying it for a second.

"Before I begin," the jounin muttered, a curious look on his face, "where did you learn tree climbing?"

"Konoha." They replied sweetly, halos hovering over their heads as they refused to go into more detail, causing the jounin to sigh heavily.

"And why wasn't I informed?" he asked, hoping to find a toehold in this conversation before it turned against him.

"You never asked, sensei." Recca replied cheekily, to which Domon clapped his shoulder, grinning at the jest, causing Kakashi to shake his head in surrender.

"Right," the Jounin sighed, "so what do you want to learn?"

Recca smiled, and raised his hand. "Anything involving Ninjutsu!" he called out, the other two nodding enthusiastically.

Kakashi shrugged, not seeing the harm in that little request, "Fine, what type?"

"Well," Recca paused, looking confused "do you know any good fire jutsu?"

Kakashi paused to think for a moment, before shrugging. "Not really," he replied honestly, "just the standard fire techniques, you might want to ask Sasuke?" he asked, hoping to get the Uchiha involved somehow, possibly even bolstering the avengers confidence and teamwork skills in the process.

The look of annoyance of Recca's face shot those thoughts down in flames.

"I'd sooner deep-kiss Franken-dick here." The enjutsu-shi muttered in disgust, earning a look of revulsion from the giant.

"Forget it!" Domon bellowed, "My lips are reserved for Fuko!"

Kakashi sighed, shaking his head at the youth's stubbornness.

"Well, sorry, not much help with fire jutsu."

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Recca grumbled as Domon stepped forward, looking hopeful. "Got any decent Taijutsu training tips?" he asked, prompting the jounin to look thoughtful for a moment.

"A little," Kakashi admitted, "what type you looking for?"

"Speed training." The giant said, looking hopeful, since the jounin hadn't exactly denounced anything yet.

'I can see why.' The jounin muttered, running a critical gaze over Domon's massive frame. Out of his entire cell, Domon was the slowest, and the giant was constantly trying to improve on this weakness, but as of yet had failed to make much progress.

"I know a weight jutsu that a friend of mine uses for training," Kakashi stated, wincing at the thought of his spandex loving rival, "give me your bracers."

The giant nodded and handed the bracers over eagerly, watching carefully as Kakashi wrote the kanji for '500' on them before handing them back.

"Make the Boar seal and channel your chakra into them." The jounin instructed, eyeing the giant carefully as he put them back on. Domon did as he was told and felt the bracers grow heavier with slight alarm.

"Each bracer weighs at least 500 pounds," Kakashi explained, "So that's 2000 in total."

He watched as the giant lifted each limb experimentally, before nodding in satisfaction. "I suggest sticking to light exercises until you're ready."

The giant nodded and walked back to his teammates, stiffly trying to maintain upright as Naruto moved forward with an eager smile.

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"Any jutsu's cool!" the blonde stated happily, "How about some water jutsu, like the one's you stole form Zabuza!"

"No," Kakashi muttered with a small frown, "those jutsu are way beyond the levels of any genin, using them could drain you dry."

Naruto frowned, stamping his foot stubbornly. "I don't care!" he yelled, pointing at the jounin stubbornly, "I bet you I can do them in one night!"

Kakashi sighed, shaking his head slightly. He just KNEW the blonde would react like this, but he'd be damned if he was going to teach one of his students something that could wind up killing them.

Now he just had to find a way to phrase it right, lest the patented team 7 'foot-in-mouth disease' reared its ugly head.

"Naruto," he coaxed, "not everyone can do a particular jutsu."

He mentally patted himself on the back as the blonde looked up at him in confusion. "You have to be in tune with the element you're using." The jounin explained, reaching into his flak jacket.

As the blonde looked up in shock, the jounin pulled out a pack of paper from his flak-jacket pocket.

"These cards are made form a special type of tree that has been nurtured using chakra for long periods, and the best are only available in Konoha." Kakashi explained holding up one and focused some chakra into it, causing the paper to crinkle.

"As you all no doubt know, there are only five base elements in ninjutsu," he instructed, "and each of the five shinobi nations is named after them, Fire, water, earth, wind and lightning."

He gazed at the trio, making sure they were paying strict attention.

"People whose chakra nature is inclined towards a specific type, can perform that type of jutsu easier than someone who isn't." he shrugged, putting the paper away. "For example, people like the Uchiha had an affinity towards fire, which is why the Goukakyuu is considered a standard jutsu for them."

The trio frowned in thought, obviously irked at the thought of being unable to use certain jutsu types. "So how do those paper thingies work?" Domon muttered, scratching his head awkwardly due to the weights, Kakashi merely shrugged.

"Lightning element: the paper gets wrinkled, like mine. Wind: it gets cut in half. Fire: it burns…"

"Well DUH!" Recca muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Water: it gets wet," Kakashi continued, ignoring the genin's outburst, "and Earth: it crumbles to dust."

Naruto blinked, raising a hand again. "Wait! If you're a lightning element, how could you use water element?"

Kakashi shrugged, having been expecting that question and was well prepared for it.

"Jounin ranked shinobi usually have more than one element," he replied honestly, "the average is at least two."

He tossed a card each at the genin and nodded.

"Take a look for yourselves."

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Each genin grabbed a card and focused on their chakra slightly, before gathering it into their respective cards. Recca's, obviously, was set ablaze, whilst Domon's crumbled to dust. The two glanced at Naruto, who was looking at his as if scared.

"Go on squirt;" Domon muttered, encouraging him, "give it a try."

Naruto nodded, took a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing on the chakra flowing into the paper feeling a rush of energy, followed by a brief movement from the paper. When the blonde opened his eyes, he was holding two pieces of paper instead of one.

Recca raised an eyebrow, almost amused. "Wind element?" he muttered, "Fuko's gonna love this."

Domon whistled, "Pretty cool, eh Squirt?"

Naruto only frowned and looked at his paper sullenly. 'I can't use water element…' he muttered, letting the wind carry the scraps out of his grip, prompting a sigh from Kakashi.

"Regretfully," the Jounin muttered truthfully, "I can't use wind element, so there isn't much I can do for you…"

He smiled, hoping to cheer the blonde up with a consolation prize. "I suppose water walking wouldn't satisfy you?" he asked, knowing it was a feeble gesture, but it was all he could think to offer in the circumstances, plus it WOULD help with the genin's chakra control.

The blonde nodded sullenly and said nothing, prompting a look of annoyance from his teammates as Kakashi went through the one handed seal to perform the technique.

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"Lazy good for nothing sensei!" Recca cursed, kicking a pinecone into the forest, "He can't teach worth beans!"

Domon grunted, clearly annoyed despite having gotten something out of the jounin. "We'd have had better luck asking Yanagi how to draw…" he muttered, knowing the poor girl couldn't draw to save her life.

"The hell do you mean by that?!" Recca yelled, slugging the giant in the kisser, starting a fistfight with his rival.

Naruto smiled, shaking his head slightly at their antics. The two had been trying to cheer him up by ranting at the uselessness of their sensei and how they'd simply develop their own 'kick-ass jutsu' to show him up.

It was working, somewhat, but he still felt down.

The blonde let out a startled squawk as the dust-cloud rolled towards him, getting caught up in the fight and promptly forgetting his previous grievances as he tried to keep Domon from devouring his head.

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"Anyway," Recca muttered, stepping away from the others and sitting on a rock, the fight having cheered them all up somewhat, "There's something I noticed earlier."

The other two nodded, Domon leaning against a tree, and Naruto sitting Indian style on the ground, all three looking a little haggard but with no permanent damage outside of ripped clothes.

"When I was wrapping Naruto's hand," Recca continued, "it had already healed, despite what he did to it." He nodded at the blonde and frowned, "I bet you there isn't even a mark on him."

Naruto blinked and checked the limb, gasping at the unmarked skin underneath.

"You think it's the fox?" Domon muttered cautiously as he looked at Recca, concern for the blonde in his eyes.

"Makes sense," Recca replied with a nod, "it is a demon right? So maybe he's subconsciously lending Naruto some of his power, kinda like the Karyuu and me."

Naruto blinked, this being the first he'd ever heard of the dragons. "Karyuu?" he asked, prompting a snort from Domon.

"You know how Recca can control fire?" the giant asked, "Well the reason for that is there are eight Karyuu inside him."

The giant shivered, remembering his first encounter with the flame of Yamata at Kurei's mansion. "Trust me," he assured the blonde, "they're SCARY when they're angry."

Recca smirked, shaking his head at his rival's antics. "They offered to help me if I'm ever in trouble," he reassured the blonde, "so there's nothing to worry about."

"Except for Setsuna." An old voice chuckled from the shadow, "THAT one's still got it out for you."

The trio spun round, kunai drawn, only to gawk at an old man with a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and a scar over one eye smiling at them.

"Koku-Oyaji!" Recca yelped, falling on his rear in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"Don't let him fool ya," Domon whispered into Naruto's ear, as Recca conversed with the aged figure, "he's the oldest of the Karyuu…and a major perv."

The giant realized FAR too late he shouldn't have said the last part as Naruto grinned sinisterly.

"Oiroke no jutsu!" the blonde called out, disappearing in a puff of smoke, to be replaced by Naru-chan in all her curvaceous glory. Koku's eyes bulged out of their sockets at the sight of the busty blonde, before leaping forward and latching onto her chest in a manner reminiscent of a depraved anything-goes master.

"SWEETO!" he cried, rubbing his head into the blonde's ample chest, causing Naru-chan to shriek and run around waving her arms.

"ACK! GETITOFF!"

Recca and Domon moaned at the old man's antics, Recca with a slight nosebleed running down his face. "He never changes." The flame wielder muttered, "Though I suppose that IS a good thing."

Domon nodded sagely, "And he doesn't mean any harm," he admitted, before scowling, "but if I ever find him molesting Fuko…!"

"GET THIS FREAKY THING OFFA ME!"

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Kakashi blinked as he looked up at the sky. 'Did I just hear a woman scream?' he muttered, before shrugging, 'probably my imagination.'

"And where do you think you're going?" he muttered aloud, smirking at the startled look on Sasuke's face as the teen leapt to the floor from the window, "Shouldn't you be resting?"

"Hn. Training." The Uchiha replied, before walking off to the woods to resume the tree walking exercise. Kakashi merely sighed and hobbled after him.

'This kid is WAY too much like the old me for my liking.'

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And yet another player has been introduced to the board! Why has Koku revealed himself now? Could this be a portent of things to come? Or did the old sod just get lonely and came looking for Kagero and Fuko to torment...i mean CONSOLE?

Koku: Hmph, respect your elders sonny.

Kyugan: I don't respect people that are perverts.

Kakashi: Trust me, I KNOW (Whipcrack, followed by girlish scream) WHYYYY?!

Kyugan: Who said you could talk?! Get back to work you waste of oxygen! Hiruma!

Hiruma: (Fires machine gun at Kakashi's heels) DANCE BITCH! YA-HA!

Koku: (Shiver) Akuma-da...


	9. Chapter 9

If there is one thing I regret it's that once I get something in my head, all other things take a back burner.

As such, I'm afraid tyhat until I effectively develop writers block, it would take an apoocolypse to keep me from updating.

Hiruma: FUCKING FULL VIEW! YA-HA!

Kakashi: (mutter) like you do anything round here...(yelps as he attempts to dodge a hail of bullets.)

Hiruma: Who said you could talk bitch!

Kakashi: Erm...that is to say...

Hiruma: (grins in the manner of the demonically insane) KER-BEROS!

Kakashi: (goes bug eyed, looks over shoulder, screams, then runs off with cerberus on his heels.)

Kyugan: (sighs and holds up a remote) Roll tape.

* * *

Training within; meet the Karyuu!

After prying Koku off the traumatized Naruto, who was huddled in a corner, holding his shoulders and shivering, the old dragon finally settled down.

"Recca, I have a message from Resshin and the others." He paused, "They want to speak with you and your friends as soon as possible."

Recca blinked, scratching his head in confusion. "That's unusual, they want me to summon them all right now?"

Koku whacked him upside the head with a harisen he apparently summoned from nowhere. "Wrong you fool! Simply meditate together and I shall bring you all into your consciousness, where the others await."

Domon frowned, looking concerned. "I'm going inside Hanabishi's head?" he muttered, "You sure I won't get lost?"

"I'm not like you muscle brain." Recca growled, and the two were at each other's throats once again.

"Enough!" Koku yelled, letting a little flame dance in his eye as a warning, "We don't have time for squabbling, meditate at once!"

The trio swallowed and sat in the lotus position, meditating. After a moment or so, Koku made a hand seal and they were engulfed in shadows.

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Sasuke panted as he ran up the tree, Kakashi watching him like a hawk...if hawks read porn that is. "Not bad Sasuke," he called out cheerfully, "perhaps there's hope for the Uchiha clan yet."

The Avenger snorted and ran up the tree, eyes narrowed in determination. 'I won't be outdone by a bunch of nobodies,' he vowed, 'I'll surpass everyone…until I beat HIM!'

Kakashi sighed and looked up, seeing the sun's position in the sky. "That's enough for now," he called out, "we need to escort Tazuna."

He thought of alerting the others as well, but figured he'd leave them out of it this time around. He didn't need them putting Sasuke's back up any more, things were hard enough as it was.

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Domon blinked as he walked around the vacant desert, sweating slightly from the heat. "This is the inside of Hanabishi's head?" he snickered, "Man, and they call ME an idiot."

Upon opening his eyes, the giant had found himself sitting on a rock formation in the middle of this strange desert, with no sign of the others. "Man it's freakin hot here," he grumbled, fanning himself lightly, "like it would kill that hothead to cool his head every once in a while."

"Can't stand the heat? Get out of the desert."

Domon whirled round to find a tall man, stripped to the waist save for the tekko over his right arm, hair shaved with the remainder done up in a high ponytail. "I am Homura, one of Recca's Karyuu." The man greeted, "I assume you are Ishijima Domon, the wielder of the Dosei no wa?"

Domon blinked, nodding his head dumbly. "Yeah, that's me." He muttered, looking around, "Erm…what is it you wanted?" He yelped as a fiery whip lashed out at him as Homura growled.

"Defend yourself!"

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Naruto swore as he shook sand out of his shorts, the blonde never wanted to see another desert as long as he lived, and personal made a note to pity anyone with the misfortune to live in one, as it could clearly drive men insane.

"Nii-saaaaaan!" he yelled out, cupping his hands around his mouth "Domoooooooon! Where are you?!"

"You're quite the noisy little fellow…aren't you?"

Naruto leapt back, blinking at the sight of a handsome shinobi with spiky hair and bare arms, save for the Tekko adorning his right, as the man smiled at him.

"Who the heck are you?!" the blonde yelled, causing the man to chuckle.

"Saiha," he introduced, "one of Recca's Karyuu."

Naruto blinked, scratching his head in confusion. "Like Ero-Oyaji?", he wondered, causing Saiha to laugh weakly and scratch his head.

"Yeah," the younger Karyuu muttered, "Koku's like that around lots of women, even Nadare and Rui." He winked at the blonde cheekily "They're the two female Karyuu, not too bad on the eyes either."

Naruto nodded solemnly, his eyes closed in understanding. "Ah…I see," he looked up, "So, whadd'ya want?"

Saiha smiled and a blade of fire exited out the side of his tekko. "Care for a rumble?"

Naruto blinked in confusion, before yelping as the man lunged forwards, the blade cutting his cheek.

"HOT!!!"

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Recca looked around the dessert with a concerned look on his face. "Where're Domon and Naruto, Koku?" he asked, prompting a sigh from the old dragon as he turned to face his 'landlord'.

"They are being tested by the other Karyuu," he explained, "we decided that since it was unlikely that useless scarecrow would teach you anything useful, we'd take your training into our own hands."

Recca raised an eyebrow, intrigued at the old man's concern. "Tested…how exactly?" he asked, envisioning Domon sitting through a lecture of the Hokage clan and snorting at the resulting image.

Koku blinked, "Combat, how else?"

The flame wielder freaked, hair spiking out in all directions. "Are you Nuts!?" he shrieked, "Domon and Naruto are no match for you guys!"

The teen ran about in a circle for a good few minutes before pausing, staring at the old man carefully. "Which ones are they fighting?!" he asked, ready to pummel Koku if he didn't like the aged Karyuu's answer.

"Homura and Saiha." Koku replied, earning a sigh of relief from the teen.

'Those two aren't too bad,' Recca thought with a smile, 'they wont kill them…'

"With Setsuna and Reshin up next." Koku added, causing the genin to face fault into the sand.

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Domon roared as he swung a fist at Homura, only for the man to wrap his whip around his own wrist, using it as a shield to deflect the giant's blow, before grabbing Domon in a judo throw and sending the giant flying.

"Your style is no better than a brawler's." the Karyuu chastised, "Brute force will never solve anything."

Domon grunted and climbed to his feet, shaking sand out of his face. "Shut your yap ya damn lizard," he growled, "I ain't done yet."

Homura snorted, shaking his head dismissively. "Your Madogu are useless here;" he pointed out, "their powers are nullified by the Hokage energies in the air."

Domon winced; realizing that he WASN'T getting the same feeling from the ring of Dosei he normally should, before looking up at Homura's snort of derision.

"Why Recca allows a fool like you to fight alongside him is a mystery." The Karyuu muttered.

"Who you calling a fool, fool?!" Domon roared, shaking a fist at Homura, who frowned before elaborating.

"To Recca, your existence is a vulnerability," the former ninja replied, "you provide an opening for him to be hurt with your reliance on brute force."

Domon stared at the Karyuu, as if struck dumb, before lowering his head laughing softly, his features shadowed. "So…to Hanabishi I'm a weakness…eh?" He stamped his foot and growled, glaring up at the Karyuu in a rage. "Good to know!" he snarled, "Now I'm really gonna belt you!"

The giant charged forwards again with a roar, and attempted to flatten the man with a massive haymaker, only for Homura to crack his whip expertly, causing several painful lashes to appear on the giant's body, the teen collapsing in a bloody heap at the man's feet.

"The essence of a shinobi is to strike when your opponent least expects it," Homura lectured sternly, "charging in headfirst will serve no purpose."

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Naruto swore as another Kage bunshin disappeared in a plume of smoke, Saiha's speed allowing the Karyuu to tear through ten with a single movement.

"Don't I get a time out?!" the blonde yelled, only to yelp as the Karyuu managed to land another burning cut to his already scarred body.

"You need to grow up fast, Naruto-kun." The man said seriously, "On the battlefield, it's 'kill or be killed', you won't have time to worry about your opponent's life or those of his family."

He frowned, shaking his head slightly at some distant memory. "A shinobi's path is that of a killer; sometimes a savior, but death is always involved." Saiha pointed at Naruto with his free hand, a frown on his features. "Your childish behavior and desire for acceptance is pointless in such a world."

His eyes softened, at the look of anger on the blonde's face, raising a palm before him. "Sorry, let me rephrase that:' he asked, "If they are too stupid to acknowledge you without you having to prove yourself, you don't need them."

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Recca grabbed Koku by the front of his shirt, looking livid. "What's the big idea?!" he roared, "Dragging us in here and forcing my friends to fight you?!"

Koku frowned, understanding the teens anger but knowing it was all for the best. "When we first arrived," he explained, "we sensed there was a great course of events unfolding within the world, the very air hums with foreboding."

Slapping Recca's wrists to make him let go, the old man walked forwards, staring up at the 'sky' above them. "In order to prepare you for this, we need to see how your friends stand up to a force they have no hope of defeating, namely the Karyuu."

Eyeing the frowning genin he sighed, shaking his head. "The Karyuu, even Setsuna, have acknowledged your strength Recca," he reminded him, "now it is your friends' turn, the future of the hokage ninja lies not only on your shoulders, but on theirs as well."

Recca blinked, completely caught off guard by the Karyuu's seriousness. "What are you-?" he began, only to be cut off by an amused snort from Koku.

"Did you not think it odd that only the flame wielder and his children could posses the inner flame, yet the entire clan bore the name Hokage?" Koku asked, causing the enjutsu-shi to blink, before continuing.

"A clan is not formed on ability alone, the Hokage ninja were a group of individual ninja families, that followed the command of the flame wielders. The head of each family was allotted a place among the Leader's elite guard, and permitted to wield Madogu at all times."

Koku faced the genin, a serious frown on his aged features. "In order for the Hokage to flourish in this new world, we will need people like Domon, Fuko and the rest to rebuild it from the start!"

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Homura turned to go, clearly presuming the battle to be over, when a noise stopped him, the sound of someone getting to his feet. Looking over his shoulder revealed a grinning Domon, covered in cuts and blood, but standing.

"No pain here," the giant taunted, "looks like your claws are goin dull in your old age!" Clenching a fist he growled, head lowered slightly. "This wound…may hurt…" he lunged forwards, "But that pains nothing compared to being thought of as useless!"

Homura blocked the punch, with an almost bored air. "A single straight punch…foolish boy-!" He was cut off as a flurry of blows launched at him, causing him to back-pedal rapidly under the onslaught.

'Multi-blows?!' the Karyuu thought, blocking diligently as Domon pressed the offence.

"Hanabishi and I've been butting heads since we first met!" the giant spat out, "We've been at each other's sides ever since all the shit you guys stirred up came to the surface!" He narrowed his eyes at the Karyuu, teeth clenched in anger. "If after all that he still sees me as weak…then what the hell have I been doing with my fists?!"

Domon's final haymaker sent the Karyuu back ten feet, completely unharmed save for a few scrapes. 'Dammit!' the giant thought, gasping for breath, 'Even after all that?!'

Homura wrapped the whip around his arm, walking forwards with a calculating expression. "Impressive force," he admitted, "but a hatchling lacks the power to ward off a snake." He lunged forwards, arm reared back for the final blow. "And you are nothing more than that!" the Karyuu yelled, ramming his fist into Domon's unguarded face.

"SO WHAT?!" the giant roared, slamming his fists together around the man's wrist, stopping the attack in mid lunge. The sheer strength of the blows caused the tekko to crack, and Homura winced in surprise as he heard his bones react as well.

"Even a hatchling can get a few good pecks in before it's eaten." Domon smirked, "And I'm a good deal bigger than any dumb bird!"

Homura stared at the man in wonder, before smiling, much to Domon's surprise.

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Naruto shivered, his fists clenched as he glared at the Karyuu in human form. "What do you know about acceptance?" he hissed, "You had a whole fucking clan to back you up…!"

Saiha smiled sadly, shaking his head at the boy's reaction, knowing the reason for the boy's suffering courtesy of Recca's memories.

"True, but not everyone in the clan was treated as I was." He pointed out, causing the blonde to blink. "There was a young man who'd been rescued from slavers as a child," the Karyuu explained, "he had little skill with words and wasn't the most adept ninja, but he was kind, gentle and good with his hands."

Saiha looked up at the dark sky in remembrance, a sad look on his face. "People mocked him for being useless," he continued, "day in and day out they would torment the poor man, regardless of what he did; until one day a disease struck the village, the only cure for which was a plant that grew on the cliffs that surrounded us."

The former Hokage ninja sighed, shaking his head at the memory of that dreadful time, having lost too many friends to count.

"It was snowing heavily, and would have been suicide for anyone to go." He opened his eyes, "However, in the middle of the night, a sentry rushed in, saying that the man had been found at the entry to the village."

He looked at Naruto, the blonde shivering at the somber look in the Karyuu's eyes. "His limbs were racked with frostbite, and he was half dead from the cold," Saiha muttered, "but in his frozen hands were the plants we needed."

Naruto blinked at this, completely shaken at the man's actions. 'He went that far…for a village that shunned him?' the blonde wondered, staring at his own hands in wonder.

"The man died shortly after the medicine was made," Saiha continued, "from the damage the cold had done and his obvious lack of strength, and everyone who once doubted him spoke highly of him." The Karyuu sighed, "But prior to that, all the hard work he'd done was ignored, and he'd even been insulted as useless, despite the skill of his works."

Saiha leveled a sad look at the blonde, holding his gaze carefully. "Do you see Naruto? Why should you try to prove your worth to a village of fools who are stupider than you?"

Naruto blinked at this, earning a smile from the dragon. "You are not as stupid as you pretend to be," Saiha pointed out, "you did master the kage bunshin didn't you? And you make up decent strategies on the fly."

He got into a stance, beckoning the blonde forwards. "Put that brain to use against me."

Naruto blinked, unused to such praise from anyone other than Iruka and Kagero, then grinned, making a seal.

"Tajuu Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Over a thousand clones appeared, causing Saiha to raise an eyebrow in mild disappointment "The same tactic? I thought told you to THINK Naruto-kun." He chastised, just before Naruto's grin set off a klaxon in the Karyuu's mind.

"HENGE!"

The air filled with smoke, and when it cleared, Saiha's eyes bulged out of his sockets, as he was glomped by an army of busty blondes.

"Saiha-sama…" they moaned, rubbing against him suggestively, causing the Karyuu to snap and go flying backwards courtesy of a massive nosebleed.

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"You passed the first test Domon." Homura conceded with a smile, causing the giant to blink.

"Huh, what test?" Domon asked, looking baffled, causing Homura to chuckle at the giant's antics.

"This was merely a test of your resolve," the Karyuu explained, "had you not struck back, you would have proven yourself unworthy of standing by Recca's side, and you would have died here."

Homura smiled, "But by striking back with conviction, you proved that your resolve to aid Recca was stronger than your fear of death." He pointed at the giant, a knowing smirk on his face. "I believe the weights are no longer holding you down?"

Domon blinked and lifted his arms experimentally. True enough, the weights felt as light as air.

"You managed to awaken the spirit within that all Hokage ninja possessed," Homura congratulated, "even those without the inner flame: a will of fire that burns even in adversity."

Domon grinned, and thrust his fists into the air as he roared.

"OH YEAH! I ROCK!"

Homura chuckled, shaking his head at the giant's antics as he turned and walked away into the desert, reverting to his Karyuu form. "**Don't get your hopes up,"** He warned, **"there's more to come…"**

Domon blinked as the Karyuu vanished, before yelping as something sharp ripped into his shoulder.

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Saiha awoke, rubbing his nose and flushing at the memory of the blonde's last attack. "That…wasn't fair Naruto-kun…" he chastised, looking a little annoyed, only for Naruto to grin at him cheekily.

"Nihihihi! I call that the Harem no jutsu!" the blonde teased, holding out double victory signs.

**"Aptly named, wouldn't you agree Saiha?"**

Saiha flushed scarlet as he leapt to his feet, pointing at something behind Naruto. "R-RESSHIN!" he yelled, "IF YOU TELL ANYONE I'LL-!"

Naruto blinked and looked behind him, shrieking at the colossal flaming dragon with bangs similar to Recca's on its head.

"**Calm yourself little one,"** it coaxed, **"my name is Resshin, leader of the Karyuu."**

"The 'Unofficial' leader he means." Saiha whispered, "We all pretty much do whatever we please, Resshin's just the most powerful."

Naruto nodded, still enawed at the sight of the flame dragon as he tried to measure his chances. 'I don't think the Harem no jutsu's gonna work on this guy…' he deadpanned, sweat-dropping at the sight.

"**Naruto,"** Resshin continued**, "I have come to help you with your…fox problem."** The dragon trailed off, voice rumbling across the barren landscape. Naruto blinked, surprised at the Dragon's statement, earning a chuckle from the colossal figure. "**Surprised?"** Resshin asked**, "Whatever Recca learns, we learn, we DO live inside him you know."**

He nodded to the spiky haired man, behind the blonde casually, but with a commanding air. "**You may go Saiha."**

The man shrugged, smirking, as he cracked his neck joints. "Yare-yare, take care Naruto-kun." He said cheerfully, changing into a massive dragon with a head shaped like a sword and disappearing.

Resshin, after lowering himself slightly, looked down at the blonde to bring them to eye level with each other. "**You have no need to fear,"** he said reassuringly, **"I shall not harm you."**

Naruto swallowed and allowed the dragon to wrap around him like a living wall of flaming scales, which began to shine brighter as Resshin sped up. Abruptly he found himself in a sewer, standing next to a man with a scar over one eye that bore a more than passing resemblance to Recca. A low growl echoed around the sewer, Naruto feeling a tugging sensation from his navel in response.

"Lead the way." The man ordered in a quieter version of Resshin's voice, frowning at the shadows as the echoes died away. Naruto did as he was told, and they soon stood before a massive gate, a single paper seal holding it shut.

"**So my jailer deigns to visit his tenant."** a voice growled, as a pair of eyes, ten times larger than those on the monument, glared down at them. "**Have I not suffered enough at the hands of you apes?"** the Kyuubi growled, **"Now you come to mock me?"**

The eyes narrowed at the sight of the man alongside the blonde Shinobi, as if noticing him for the first time.

"**Wait,"** the voice growled uncertainly, **"what are you?" **There was a loud sniffing noise as the beast inhaled sharply, as if trying to capture Resshin's scent. "**Your form is that of a man,"** the beast growled, **"yet I can tell you are no mere mortal."**

Resshin smirked, a confidant look crossing his features, which only strengthened the similarity of his face to Recca's. "I am Resshin of the Karyuu," he explained, "the eight dragons of Yamata."

He frowned eyes becoming serious, as he leveled his best glare at the eyes behind the cage. "Kyuubi," the Karyuu muttered, "why did you attack Konoha?"

The giant beast's fur ruffled in anger, a set of massive fangs was bared at the duo as it narrowed its eyes. "**I was hunting that damnable snake bastard,"** he fox growled, **"he dared to enter my lair in search of a key to immortality, killing my mate in the process."**

Resshin bowed, realizing this was a touchy subject. "I grieve for you loss," he commented honestly, "but how could a mere mortal slay a demon?"

Kyuubi snarled, causing the walls of its prison to shake, plaster and dust falling to the floor in his anger. "**My mate was no demon, but a female of Konoha!"** the red eyes narrowed, **"They shunned her for associating with me, but she loved them anyway, and this is how they repaid her?!"**

The beast roared again, causing Naruto to wince at the sheer lungpower of the beast.

**"I will forever curse this damnable village!" **

Resshin frowned, feeling a bizarre form of kinship with the beast, knowing all to well how desperately people fought for their loved ones. "So you sought revenge for your mate," he stated, nodding slightly, "I can relate, and so the Yondaime sealed you in here?"

The Kyuubi's roars escalated at the mention of the Yondaime.

"**That bastard! He always hated me for 'stealing' her from him,"** the beast snorted, **"like she would even give that blonde simian the time of day!"**

Naruto blinked, only just catching onto what the beast had just said. "The Yondaime…loved your mate?" he queried, trying to wrap his brain around the idea and failing.

The Kyuubi growled, leveling a glare at the blonde, in irritation. "**They were on the same genin team, and he had a crush on her."** The fox explained, before snickering vindictively, **"But when I visited Konoha in human form, she fell for me and he never forgave me."**

The fox grinned at a memory, displaying rows of razor sharp teeth that caused the blonde to wince. **"When he learned she was with child he must have been livid…"**

"YOU HAD A KID?!" Naruto yelled, causing Reshin to slap his face at the blonde's lack of tact. The red eyes grew serious again at the blonde's outburst, glaring at the two as the Kyuubi seemed to grow impatient.

"**Enough prattling,"** the fox growled in an annoyed tone, **"why have you come here?"**

Naruto shivered at the gaze being leveled at him, before remembering that this was the reason people hated him, and growled at the fox, startling it. "Listen up ya damn Fuzz ball!" he yelled, "Because of you, my life's sucked! So gimme your damn Chakra as payment for living in here!"

Reshin snorted, remembering Recca's almost identical threat when they first met, silently congratulating the kid for his audacity. Kyuubi however, was not so amused.

"**Brat…do you know who you're talking to?"** the colossal beast growled, **"I am the Kyuubi no Youko! The lord of the Bijuu! Mountains and oceans tremble at my approach!"**

He roared at the blonde, causing the water to fly backwards, in waves.

**"Who are you to dare to command anything of me?!"**

Naruto winced as the wind from the roar forced him to step back slightly, before glaring at the fox, pointing at him with conviction. "I'm the future Hokage of Konohagakure!" he yelled, "Uzumaki Naruto!"

The Kyuubi stopped roaring so quickly Naruto stumbled forward, landing face first in the water just in front of the cage. Looking up in anger at the humiliating dunking, the blonde's yell died on his lips as he blinked at the look of shock and confusion in the demon's eyes.

**"Uzumaki…?"**

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Domon roared as he punched Setsuna square in the face, yelping as the demented Karyuu in human form dug his knife like teeth into his fist.

"Kill…kill…haven't hunted in so long…!" Setsuna cackled, lifting his hand to lick the blood off the blades.

'Dammit!' Domon grunted at this, nursing his injured hand, 'he's eating me alive here!' Cursing himself for leaving the scroll for Kuchibashi-o behind, the giant lunged forwards, hoping that at least Tetsugan would reactivate, and that the demented freak would break his claws on his steel hide.

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Back with Naruto, the Kyuubi was staring at the teen in some bizarre fascination, as if sizing him up.

"**Boy,"** the fox growled, his tone softer than before, **"did you say you name was…Uzumaki?"**

Naruto blinked, confused at the sudden interest in his name, before scowling at the beast. "Yeah? What of it?!"

The Kyuubi's fir shivered, as if trembling slightly, the eyes running over the genin's features. "**The blonde hair and blue eyes,"** the Fox muttered as if in a daze, **"and that sharp tongue…how could I have missed it?"**

"What are you talking about?!" the blonde screamed, getting annoyed with the way this conversation was going, wondering if he had one of THOSE types of demons living in his bowls.

Kyuubi blinked at the outburst, before looking down at the blonde reverently.

"**My mate's name"** he explained, **"was Uzumaki Noriko."**

Naruto flinched, blue eyes going wide in realization as he stared up at the red eyes behind the bars. "Uzumaki…" he repeated, as if only hearing the word for the first time, "you mean…my mother?" He pointed up at the eyes with a shaky finger, "And…you're…?"

Resshin shook his head sadly at the blonde's plight. 'These two…are like Recca and me…' he muttered.

The great mass behind the gates shifted, and where there was a giant, red fox, there now stood a tall, red haired man with whisker-like tattoos on his face. He was wearing an elegant red kimono that looked more expensive than anything the blonde had ever seen, over which he wore a samurai breastplate; a sheathed katana rested at his hip, and a long red foxtail, waved behind him slowly.

Naruto stepped forward, hardly daring to believe. "You…you're…"

The man knelt, heedless of the damage the water caused his clothes and held out his hands to cup Naruto's face. The two stared at each other for a moment before the man breathed out. "By Inari-sama's tails," he breathed, "you have her eyes…her hair…" He traced the whisker marks on the blonde's cheeks tenderly. "If I had any doubts before your scent is no doubt hers."

Kyuubi looked into the boy's eyes in wonder, understanding dawning in their crimson depths. "I had thought you both lost," he whispered, "Sarutobi must have saved you when your mother was attacked…"

Naruto shivered and reached his hands through the bars, touching the man's cheeks with trembling fingers. A word blossomed up from the bottom of his chest, a word that he had known since his days at the orphanage, but had never had to be summoned to the surface.

He tried to utter it, only for it to halt uncertainly on his tongue, forcing him to swallow before trying again.

"Tou-san?" the teen wondered, voice cracking as the man nodded slowly.

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Domon cursed as he landed badly, clutching his shoulder in agony; The damn freak had taken a chunk out of it!

"Good prey!" Setsuna yelled, leaping at the fallen giant, "It's no fun if you just hold still!"

Domon grinned savagely and kicked out, striking the Karyuu in the abdomen and using the momentum to hurl the maniac over him to land head first in the sand. "Hanabishi taught me that one the hard way." The giant muttered as Setsuna groggily shook his head, "Now yer gonna pay for that last bite!"

Before Setsuna could react, the giant rammed his fist into the psychotic Karyuu's jaw, sending him flying backwards before imbedding his head in a boulder.

Domon grunted and slumped over, trying to catch his breath as the boulder collapsed in on itself. 'Please stay down,' he begged, 'I got nothin' left…'

There was a roar and the rock exploded, and Setsuna in his dragon form loomed over the giant, his eye wide open. Domon screamed, as his world became a wall of flame, he thrashed around in horror, trying to beat away the flames as he felt himself roast.

'Dammit…is this it…?' the giant thought internally, while his screams echoed in the background, 'After all I been through, one of Hanabishi's dragons is the thing that finishes me?'

He collapsed on the ground, the flames still burning. 'God I'm pathetic…' he muttered, eyes closing.

"_Defeat me and I'll be your personal ninja!"_

'…Hanabishi…?' Domon muttered, twitching, at the memory of his rival's taunt.

'_You gonna let a mineral deposit kick your ass?! Oni no Domon wouldn't take that!!!'_

A growl developed in the giant's throat as his fists clenched. "Chi…ku…sho!" he growled through his teeth, before slowly getting to his feet, "Chikusho!"

The giant glared up at the blazing eye of Setsuna, the flames washing over him like a waterfall from hell, and snarled in defiance. "Ya blind lizard…tryin to barbecue me are ya?" he growled as the ring of Dosei glowed brighter, "well I got news for ya!"

Domon's eyes blazed with rage and the flames dissipated in a burst of light as his roar shattered the night sky.

"ORE WA ISIJIMA DOMON!" the giant teen roared, "NO OVERGROWN GEKKO'S GONNA BE MUNCHING ON ME!"

The force of the Domon's rage completely extinguished the flames brought on by the Karyuu's attack, and swept the surrounding sand into the air, blinding Setsuna's eye and cutting off the source of the flames.

Domon stood, smoke trailing off his burnt body, radiating killing intent that would probably cause even Kurei to blink, as he gasped for air. "No-one's keepin' me down ya hear?!" he panted, "Not Hanabishi…not Kurei…not even you damn Salamanders!"

"Well said." Koku's voice called out, the old man apparating out of nowhere, causing Domon to shriek in shock. "I gave Setsuna a time out," Koku muttered reassuringly, "he's quite livid with you."

Domon snorted, waving a hand dismissively. "Let him come," he bragged, "I'm ready for him!"

The old Karyuu grinned, shaking his head at the giant's antics, before calling out to him.

"Domon, you've displayed what it takes to tap into your latent chakra abilities." He looked into the giant's eyes, frowning seriously. "I believe it's time you learned one of the innermost secrets of the hokage training methods, the mastery of your element."

* * *

Dun-dun-dunnnnnn!

Bet no-one wasd expecting THIS turn of events! hands up, who out there was expecting Kyuubi to be Naruto's old man?

Haven't seen this one done in fics so I figured I'd give it a whirl, also, for an example of what Kyuubi is wearing, just imagine Seshoumaru, just with a different colour scheme.

Also,regarding the element thing? Not gonna spill the beans but expect a few surprises as we go along!

Kakashi: Drama queen...

Kyugan: (Holds out a hundred buicks to Hiruma) Let it be done.

Hiruma: (grins like the devil on crack) YA-HA! (Pulls out Rhinox's chaingun's 'o doom and lets rip.)

Kakashi: (Girlish scream!) WHY?!?!?!

Kyugan: (Tosses something towars the jounin) Catch!

Kakashi: (Blinks) A steak?

Hiruma: (Grinning) KER-BEROS!

Kakashi: (screams and tried to drop the steak, only to find it glued to his hands.) AAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Kyugan: (Sighs happily) All is right.


	10. Chapter 10

Things are heating up for our heroes, and just what does Koku mean by, 'element?', will it give naruto and the rest a chance to stand as the new generation of Hokage?

Kakashi: (mumimfied) muffled expletives.

Kyugan: (Sweatdrops) What happened to you?

Kakashi: (Glares and tilts head towards cerberus, who is being fedsteak the size of a beach board.)

Kyugan: Ah, oh well... (Hits buttoin and rolls the tape. Hiruma offers him some gum) No thanks.

Kakashi: (tries to catch Hiruma's attention, but he eats the last piece) whimper.

* * *

Releasing your inner power; encounter at the bridge!

Naruto wept as he held Kyuubi's human face in his hands. "You were with me…all this time…" he croaked, tears sliding unchecked down his cheeks for the first time in years.

Kyuubi gazed at the genin longingly, wishing he could rip the barrier down and embrace his son, but the sheer power of the shinnigami's seal made this impossible.

Resshin coughed, looking a little embarrassed at the drama that was unfolding before him. "Not quite what I was expecting," he chuckled, "but we don't have long here." The leader of the Karyuu looked at the demon in human form and frowned. "Kyuubi," he demanded, "will you lend your powers to Naruto?"

The Youkai leveled an imperial look at the Karyuu, as if insulted at the question. "Were I not imprisoned by that blonde baboon's seal, I would have already come to his aid numerous times." The fox retorted, eyes flashing at the memory of the Yondaime.

Resshin smirked, scratching the back of his head. "I'll take that as a yes." He muttered, before nodding at his son's friend, "Time to go."

Naruto flinched, and looked at the Karyuu desperately. "Wait!" he yelled, "I don't wanna go! There's so much I need to ask!"

Kyuubi placed his hands on the blonde's shoulders, reassuringly, causing the blonde to turn back to him. "Another time, Naruto," he said calmingly, "for now take this."

He unfastened the katana from his waist and pressed it into his son's hands. "I cannot leave this cage," the Youkai growled, "but I can lend you my power, and that sword is your birthright as my son…my legacy."

Naruto gripped the katana tightly, tears running down his cheeks. "Arigatou…Tou-san." He whispered, before he and Resshin disappeared in a flash of golden flame, leaving the Kyuubi to his lonely imprisonment.

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Recca blinked as Naruto and Domon appeared before him in the mindscape. The former looking like he'd been crying and holding an expensive looking Katana, the latter with his pants in tatters and covered in burns and whiplashes, his upper clothing completely destroyed, the tip of his mohawk trailing smoke.

"What happened to you two?" the genin asked, only to spike out as Domon spat on the ground, "OI! Don't spit inside my head!"

Domon flipped him off, growling in annoyance. "Dammit Hanabishi," he muttered, "I knew your dragons were crazy, but that Setsuna bastard takes the whole freaking cake!"

Recca winced, knowing the giant wasn't too far off the bat, before looking at his Outoto, raising an eyebrow as the blonde continued to stare at the katana. "Naruto?" he called out, "You okay?"

The blonde looked up and smiled in a sad sort of way. "I met my dad." he replied, clutching the katana tighter to his chest.

Koku cleared his throat, gaining their attention. "Domon, Naruto," he muttered, running his sole eye over them, "you have both passed your tests with flying colours."

The Karyuu looked at the giant and nodded. "Domon, you learned that strength is not the only thing that defines a man; that his resolve to use that strength to achieve his goals is a tremendous asset. You also faced down an opponent you had no hope of defeating; bereft of your Madogu, you channeled your own mental strength into them, and unlocked your own powers."

Domon blinked, looking confused, but the old man refused to elaborate, turning instead to the blonde standing beside the giant. "Naruto, you learned the true meaning of acceptance, and the innermost truths of the shinobi way from your battle with Saiha, you also faced down your inner demon, learning the truth of your origin."

Koku smiled warmly at the two genin in a grandfatherly way and nodded. "Though you are not kin," he called out, "we Karyuu acknowledge both of you as worthy Hokage ninja."

The seven other Dragons appeared, in their dragon forms and gazed down at the two.

"Naruto-kun, well done." Saiha said warmly, ignoring the mocking looks in the eyes of the Rui as she made a mocking comment behind his back.

"Your will is that of a mountain, set in stone." Homura praised to a smirking Domon, before turning his head to listen in as Rui teased Saiha, as Nadare watched on in confusion.

Resshin eyed Setsuna carefully lest the insane dragon attempted anything violent and lowered his head to eye level. "Though not by blood, you posses the will of fire that all our clan possessed," he declared, "I acknowledge you both as Hokage ninja!"

The dragon's eyes flashed and to Domon and Naruto's surprise, the Hokage ninja clan symbol was burned onto their bodies, Domon's on his right arm, Naruto on his left. (Same position as Recca's tattoos)

"The position of the tattoos signifies the rank of the shinobi." Koku explained, eyeing the two as they fingered the tattoos. "Domon," he called out, "as Recca's rival and close friend, your tattoo signifies that you are the leader's 'Ude' or arm, whereas the positioning shows that you sit on his right if he were to hold a council."

He flicked his gaze from the giant to the blonde Jinchuuriki and nodded. "The same goes for Naruto, though he would sit to the left, being Recca's brother, through adoption."

Domon grinned at the enjutsu-shi, covering the symbol on his arm with his massive palm. "Guess that makes me your number two, eh Hanabishi?" the giant mocked, earning a snort from Recca.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." The Enjutsu-shi replied, knocking fists with his rival and brother.

Koku smiled sagely behind his moustache as he eyed the trio. "You've been in here for long enough," he stated, "I think it's time we send you back to your bodies."

He waved his hand and Domon's clothes repaired themselves, save for the sleeves, before the elderly dragon changed into his Karyuu form and wrapped around the trio, the desert vanishing in a burst of flame.

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Recca awoke to find the sun had set and it was getting dark, a few stars visible in the sky. Domon winced as he cracked his stiff neck while Naruto tired to get the pins and needles to stop tormenting his legs. All in all, the group didn't look any different, except Naruto and Domon now sported the Hokage clan's marking on their arms, and Naruto held an impressive looking katana in his hands.

"That…was one hell of a trip." Domon muttered, standing up stiffly, "My whole body aches from sitting still so long."

Naruto winced as his knees buckled, nerveless, standing up resiliently by using the katana as a staff. "You guy's okay?" he asked, shooting his teammates a look. Domon grinned, holding up a clenched fist.

"You kidding?" the giant asked, "We're official Hokage ninja now! You got your wish!"

Naruto smirked, shaking his head in amusement. "Kinda," The blonde replied stubbornly. "I still wanna become THE Hokage though."

Recca laughed, ruffling his brother's hair fondly. "You're incorrigible!"

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Kakashi was a little worried when the trio were late for dinner, but when they stumbled in some time during the middle, looking no worse for wear, he sighed in relief.

"Get caught up training?" he asked cheerfully, as they guzzled down their food rapidly.

"Sorta." Domon muttered, racing with Recca to finish first. Naruto nodded, and was about to tuck in when he spotted Sasuke at the table, dropping his chopsticks and pointed at the Uchiha in surprise.

"AH! What's teme doing here?" the irrate teen yelled accusingly, "He lost the bet!"

Kakashi winced, knowing he should have told Sasuke to eat in his room. "Ano…Sasuke's been working hard all day," he coaxed, "AND he had to guard Tazuna by himself…"

"Let it go Naruto," Recca muttered with his mouth full, "Kakashi obviously can't let the villages 'precious Uchiha' go one night without food, even if he DID lose the bet."

Sasuke bristled at the reminder and tucked in, ignoring his teammates for the rest of the meal, whilst Kakashi sighed in defeat.

'I'm really losing a lot of respect with these guys…' he muttered, just as Domon and Recca began an all-out food war, dragging Naruto into it as well. The battle losted long into the nihgt, and, frm an outsidreers point oif view, their were few casulties, unless you counted several stab wounds courtesy of several well placed forks.

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The next week saw the boys taking a bizarre approach to mission shifts. The trio would play a game of janken to decide who would be paired with Sasuke for the day during guard duty, and the other two would train.

As it were, Domon was the loser this time, the sullen giant trailing after the Uchiha en route to the construction site as his teammates headed out to continue their respective training regimen.

Recca had decided that maybe creating his OWN Katon jutsu would suck the air out of the Uchiha's sails and got to work, practicing diligently on the surrounding woodland.

'I can't rely on the Karyuu forever,' he reasoned, 'though keeping them as a trump card DOES appeal.'

He sighed and got back to his feet, staring at the tattoos on his arms. 'The Karyuu lend me the powers they had while alive,' he muttered, before scowling at the bare spot where the eighth Karyuu symbol should have sat. 'Except for Resshin, stingy bastard…'

Closing his eyes in thought, the teen recalled all the abilities the other dragons bestowed upon him.

'Nadare launched fireballs, Saiha had a blade, Homura a strength enhancing whip, Setsuna…' he shivered, 'wanton destruction, Madoka could create barriers, Rui was a genjutsu specialist and Koku-Oyaji has that massive beam of his.'

Recca clenched his fist, staring at it in wonder.

'What can my OWN flame do…?'

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Domon helped carry the materials for the bridge from the mainland, actually lifting the massive I-beams with one arm and bringing them over to the waiting construction workers.

'Koku said I could tap into my element if I put some effort into it,' the giant muttered, 'but I haven't figured out how yet.'

He grunted at the clanking of his bracers, Kakashi having tripled the weights at the giant's request. The look of shock on the Jounin's face at how rapidly he'd adapted had been priceless.

'All I'm doing is lifting weights…how can I use earth element?' He scowled as he spotted Sasuke, sitting on a crate keeping a look out for trouble. 'Bastard, like it would hurt him to help out…'

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Naruto sat meditating in a clearing, communicating with his father in their dreamscape, the Kyuubi wanting to make up for thirteen years of not being there for his son.

As it were, he decided to start at the beginning and work up.

"I met your mother when she was just a girl, in the prime of womanhood." the youko explained, "She was energetic, cheeky, and oh so kind…I would have cut off all my tails to make her happy."

Naruto sniffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "You miss her, don't you?" he asked, prompting a nod from his demonic sire.

"But of course," Kyuubi replied, "no-one can forget the other half of their soul, and that was what we were to each other."

He shook himself, "But enough of the past, you need to become stronger if you are to be of use to your new clan."

Naruto nodded and unsheathed the katana, running his eye over it critically. It was a real beauty, even an untrained eye like Naruto's could tell that much. "What's it's name?" he asked, gazing at his father curiously.

"Each wielder of the sword has called it a different name," the Kyuubi replied, "in other words, when I inherited the sword from MY sire, I had to undergo the ritual to discover its name."

Naruto checked the cross guard, frowning. "I don't see a name…" he muttered, before looking up at his father's snort.

"That isn't a normal sword," the demon lectured, "it is a living thing, and as such, it knows it's own name better than anyone." The fox growled, tail wafting behind his otherwise human appearance. "In order for you to wield it to it's fullest, you need to pass the trial of initiation, and you aren't ready for that yet."

"So what do I do?" Naruto said in exasperation, until his stomach jumped and his mindscape changed from a sewer to a forest.

"Simple." Kyuubi replied, summoning a nodachi from thin air, "I shall teach you how to wield that sword!"

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During one of their late dinners, Kakashi noticed something strange about his ragtag group of students.

Recca would come back with his fist burnt and bandaged, causing him trouble as he tried to eat, and Domon would have a look of unusual concentration on his face, similar to those worn by the sandaime during war meetings or shogi matches.

Finally, Naruto would be covered in bruises and cuts that would be healed by dawn, the jounin also noted the katana the blonde was lugging around with interest, but the jinchuuriki merely smiled at him whenever he asked where he got it.

'Those three are up to something…' the jounin deduced, before sweat dropping as Recca and Domon fought over the last sardine.

Inari glared at Naruto who was laughing at Recca's clumsy attempt at eating with his injured right hand and snapped. "Why do you wear yourself out trying?!" the boy yelled, "No matter how hard you train you'll never be a match for Gato's thugs!"

Tears were streaming down Inari's face as he ranted on. "You act cool and talk tough, but Gato's guys are serious! They'll destroy you!"

Everyone stared at the boy, shocked at the outburst, until Domon frowned.

"Your point?" the giant asked, growling slightly in irritation.

"Just watching you idiots ticks me off!" Inari yelled, slamming his fists on the table. "You run your mouths off when you don't know a thing! This isn't your town!" He sobbed looking down at the table. "You're always clowning around! You've no idea what suffering or loneliness are, or what my life's been like!"

Naruto twitched, and suddenly Kakashi, who was sitting across from him, felt the air around him fill with barely restrained anger that was emanating from the blonde and his two friends.

Sasuke shivered, eyeing the trio cautiously, having not felt rage this strong since…HIM.

"So…" Naruto muttered, not lifting his head, bangs covering his eyes; "you figure it's noble to star in a melodrama, treating everyone around you like guests at your pity party?"

Recca set his chopsticks down and glared at the boy. "I suppose you think your such a big man, sitting around and crying like a big baby!"

Domon growled savagely and pushed his food forward, getting to his feet. "People like you make me so sick, my food loses all its taste." He muttered, marching out the door with the other three, "Sorry Tsunami," he added over his shoulder, "it really was tasty to begin with."

Kakashi stared after them as Domon shut the door, frowning. 'I've never seen them get that angry before.' The jounin thought, before apologizing to Tsunami and Tazuna for their outburst.

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Inari stared out to sea, still shaken up from his yelling match with Naruto and the others.

"May I join you?" Kakashi asked, looking down at him. When the boy didn't reply, the jounin simply sat next to him, looking out to sea.

"It must have been hard, growing up without your father." Kakashi muttered.

'I can relate.' He thought, shaking his head at the painful memories.

"But you were wrong about Naruto," the jounin lectured, "he does know the feeling, even more so, he spent the first few years of his life without any parents."

Inari jumped, looking up in wonder as Kakashi sighed. "He never even had a single friend, not one person to share his dreams with." The Jounin shook his head, "When I first met him, he had only just been adopted into Recca's family, and given a decent home, that was about two months ago."

Inari looked horrified at the thought of being alone for so long, as Kakashi continued his story.

"He always keeps up the cheerful mask," the Jounin explained, "but some wounds run deep, and no amount of care can heal a wound that's existed since birth." He sighed, shaking his head sadly.

"Naruto will carry those mental scars until the day he dies."

The jounin smiled at the shocked boy, nodding his head. "So that's why Recca and Domon snapped at you." Inari stared at him and he chuckled, shaking his head. "You've gotten under their skin, and trust me, you got off light for insulting Naruto...they're very protective of him."

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The residents of Tazuna's house soon got back to their usual routine.

Inari spent almost every minute of every day in his room, sulking, though he'd stare at the trio in a calmer manner than he had been prior.

Domon got injured on site catching an I-beam on his back to save some workers, and had to lie at the house for a while. Recca and Naruto split guard duty between themselves and continued to progress over the next few days. Sasuke, of course avoided the other two like the plague, ignoring them when he had to work with them on site.

At that moment, Recca and Naruto were teasing Domon at his inability to 'get up', when Kakashi called them to get ready.

"This is the last section of the work, so all of us need to guard Tazuna now." The jounin muttered, "Domon, you stay here and rest up."

The giant grunted an affirmative, before swearing at Recca as the genin dangled a piece of meat over the giant's head tauntingly.

"C'mon big guy, chin up!" the enjutsu-shi treased, only to recieve a punch to the teeth, followed by a howl of pain as Domon's back protested at the sudden movement.

Naruto chuckled weakly, "ya know, that probably set you back another day or two." he noted, only to recieve a finger from the giant, as he muttered something that sounded like 'worth it.'

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On the bridge, a gruesome sight awaited the team.

"What happened here?!" Tazuna yelled at the sight of his injured, or worse, workers, before a brief reply of 'Demons' heralded the arrival of a thick fog.

'I knew he was alive…' Kakashi growled, readying himself, Sasuke shivering as the missing Nins voice called out.

"Been a while, Kakashi," Zabuza drawled, "I see your brats are still tagging along, heh, look the boy's trembling again, poor thing…"

Ten Mizu bunshin appeared out of nowhere, surrounding them as Sasuke grinned. "I'm trembling from eagerness!" he smirked, as Kakashi smiled.

"Go on Sasu…!"

Abruptly all ten bunshin were reduced to mere puddles of water, Sasuke, Tazuna and Kakashi blinking in surprise.

Recca whistled, impressed."Damn Naruto, you coulda saved me a few!" he chided, "How many strokes was that?"

"Sixteen." The blonde replied, sheathing his katana with a brief 'clink.'

"Sixteen! Man I only caught eight there!" Recca said, a laugh in his voice.

Sasuke shivered, this time with rage as he glared at the blonde. 'Those bunshin were liquidized before I could blink!' he grit out, his fists clenching at being stood up again.

"Well!" Zabuza muttered, appearing from the mist, "My doppelgangers were obviously no match for you, blondie…seems at least ONE of the brats has matured into a worthy rival…eh, Haku?"

"So it would appear." The masked Nin replied.

Kakashi nodded, a frown on his face as he realized his guess had been dead on the money. "It would appear our mysterious masked friend, has been playing for Zabuza's team." He commented, eyeing the nin carefully.

Recca snorted, glaring over at the masked nin in annoyance. "You got some balls showing your face here after pulling that little stunt!" He called out, cracking his knuckles, blinking when Sasuke stepped foreward.

"This one's mine." the Uchiha growled, glaring across the bridge at the masked teen.

Recca snorted, shaking his head. "Hold it Uchiha, we haven't played janken to decide yet."

Naruto smirked, "Yeah, why should YOU get the pick of the fight?"

The Uchiha growled and looked at them in annoyance. "Don't interfere," he ordered, "got it?"

Recca smirked, looking decidedly unimpressed by the Uchiha's glare. "Aww, what's the matter," he taunted, "angry we stole the spotlight from the 'almighty lord Uchiha?'" he mocked, until Naruto shot him a look.

"Whadd'ya mean WE?" the blonde muttered.

"If I may end the discussion?" Haku chuckled lightly and stepped forward, before disappearing from view, reappearing in front of a startled Sasuke. The two spun around each other, attacking with senbon and Kunai respectively, while Naruto snorted in annoyance.

"Hmmph, teme got his way after all," the blonde muttered, "lets see if Kakashi-sensei's teaching methods are different for his favorites."

Kakashi sweatdropped, casting a reproaching look towards his blonde student. "Ano…I don't pick favorites…" he began, sighing as he realized they weren't listening, before casting a wary glare towards his mist counterpart.

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Tsunami sang to herself as she did the dishes, she'd just checked in on Domon and the teen was fast asleep, muttering things like 'earth, and 'element' over and over again. She shivered as she saw something pass the window, wondering if they had come home early, only to scream as Gato's samurai henchmen tore down the door to her house, one of them kicking Inari out of the way as they entered.

"We only need one hostage," Zouri muttered, "so come with us without any problems and we wont kill the brat." Noticing the woman's hesitation, he gazed at his larger counterpart and smirked. "Otherwise I'm afraid Waraji might get a little…annoyed…"

Tsunami flinched at the implied threat, before telling Inari to stay where he was. Then she lowered her head and allowed the samurai to escort her out the door.

Inari sniffled and charged out after them, tears of anger replacing the ones of fear that had adorned his cheeks not two seconds prior. "You leave my mama alone!" he yelled, charging towards the samurai.

Up in the bedroom, Domon's eyes clenched tightly.

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Waraji grinned as he got into the sword-drawing stance. "Looks like there's no choice." He muttered, Zouri nodding beside him.

"Cut him." The smaller man agreed, dashing forwards as Tsunami screamed out in horror. To the shock of both swordsmen, they were clotheslined by what felt like a mountain on legs, their necks snapping from the impact, causing instant death.

Inari gazed up at the Mohawk sporting peak of Mt. Domon and blinked, startled at how fast the giant had moved, not to mention the Domon shaped hole he'd just left in the neighbor's wall.

"You okay there, Inari?" the giant rumbled, pulling off his bandages, his back apparently fully healed, "Get me my shirt would ya? Then take your mom and barricade the house."

The giant growled as he kicked the corpses of the samurai into the water. Inari did as he was told, and when he brought the giant his top he was surprised when his hair was ruffled.

"Risking your life to save your mom…now that's a real man." Domon grinned flexing an arm; "You gotta protect your precious people, with your own two hands!"

Inari blinked as the ghostly image of his father covered Domon. "If you're a man, protect what you believe in with your own two your arms!"

Domon grinned and patted the kid on the head. "Stay low incase these goons had back up," he warned, "I gotta help the others."

And with that, the giant dashed off at top speed, still wearing his weights and with Kuchibashi-o over his shoulder.

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Zabuza watched as Haku and Sasuke continued their dance, impressed at the raven-haired teen's development. 'He can keep up with Haku's speed…' the jounin analysed, whilst Kakashi organized his remaining team around their contractor.

"Let Sasuke handle Haku;" he heard the copy-nin mutter, "You two protect Tazuna."

Zabuza grunted and moved to intercept Kakashi should the need arise. Meanwhile, Haku and Sasuke continued their deadly duet.

"I don't want to have to kill you…" Haku muttered, "but you probably wont back down, will you?"

Sasuke smirked arrogantly, "Don't be stupid." he scoffed, pushing harder against the masked teen, trying to force him back.

"I thought as much;" Haku admitted, "but you wont be able to match my speed for long…and I've already laid the groundwork for two attacks."

Sasuke frowned, "Two?"

Haku nodded again, "Firstly, the water which is scattered all around us; Second I've trapped one of your hands with this parrying move, leaving you only one to defend yourself.

Sasuke and Kakashi gazed in shock as the masked teen made several hand seals with the free hand. "Sensatsu Suisho." Haku muttered, over a thousand senbon forming from the puddle and hovering over the pair.

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Recca winced, at the sight before eyeing his brother out the corner of his eye. (Senbon;) he signed, (Think he's a medic nin?)

Naruto frowned, and signed back. (Dunno, maybe he's just like Fuko…)

The duo raised an eyebrow as Sasuke shot into the air scant millimeters before becoming a human pincushion, driving the masked ninja back with a flurry of Kunai, before appearing behind him. "You're not that fast." The Uchiha bragged, as he leered over Haku's shoulder, "Now you're the one that needs to guard yourself."

The duo engaged again, only for Haku to be sent flying with a kick to the face.

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Kakashi smirked at the surprised look on Zabuza's face. "You had it coming," he taunted, "for underestimating my team…and the name calling."

He shrugged, shaking his head slightly. "They may not look like much, but they were among the top ten Rookies in all of Konohagakure, Naruto here was actually the no.2"

Naruto gave the enemy Nins a 'V' sign and smirked.

"Then there's Recca, the most enthusiastic Ninja in the village."

Recca smirked and gave the mist jounin the finger.

"Sasuke, who's the pride of one of Konoha's most powerful clans."

Sasuke twitched at being referred to after the blonde, but didn't take his eyes of the enemy.

"And last but not least, there's the genin that surprises even me with his strength, Konoha's very own Oni no Domon!"

Zabuza raised an eyebrow at this; obviously intrigued. 'The big one calls himself an 'Oni' does he?' The mist jounin snickered, his shoulders shaking with mirth.

"Haku," he called out, "keep this up and you'll be killed by the person you wanted to spare."

Haku stood up and nodded, making a unique hand seal. Abruptly, Sasuke was surrounded on all sides by floating mirrors of pure ice.

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Recca blinked, eyes widening at the sight of the apparently levitating mirrors. "SHIT!" he yelped, "What the hell kinda jutsu is that?!"

Kakashi was similarly flummoxed, and was dashing forward to help Sasuke when Zabuza leapt between him and his target. "I'm your enemy Kakashi," the mist-nin growled, "let's let the brat's fight this one…while mine kills yours."

Kakashi growled as Sasuke was beset by a blur that was slowly cutting him to shreds. "Recca! Naruto! Get Sasuke out of there!" he called out, blinking as they just stood there, "What are you waiting for?"

"We don't have to help him." Recca muttered, looking serious as a heart attack.

Kakashi blinked at the teens words, and then scowled. "Are you trash that would abandon your teammate?" he muttered, causing Naruto to snort, waving a hand dismissively.

"Don't get the wrong idea sensei," he assured the man, "it's not that we don't WANT to save the teme…" He smirked at the jounin, "It's that there's no need for US to abandon Tazuna."

Kakashi blinked, confused at the blonde's statement before a shattering noise rang through the air, causing both of the jounin to look behind them.

"What the-?!"

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A few minutes ago, Haku had been slicing away at his opponent, wearing him down bit by bit with high-speed assasination techniques.

In the blink of an eye however, the masked youth's face had erupted into a word of pain, as the mirror shattered as a result of some strange, beak shaped contraption ramming into it, sending Zabuza's enigmatic protégé soaring through the air.

"The hero always arrives at the last minute!" Domon yelled out, grining as he held the end of the madogu's chain, "And I couldn't just let you take all the glory!"

* * *

Well now, isn't this looking interesting? How will the battle flow now that all of team 7 are ready and accounbted for? Will Domon indeed save the day? Is this the end for the demon of the bloody mist? And how will Gato deal with this situation? 

Kakashi: (still mummified) muffled mutters.

Kyugan: Hmm, what's that? you're volunteering to take Cerberus out for a walk?

Kakashi: MMMPH!! (shakes head rapidly)

Kyugan: Good man!, (put's the protesting jounin in a wheelchair and ties the leash to the man's hand) OI Hiruma! When you're ready!

Hiruma: (pulls out a bone on a rod, attaches to Cerberus' collar) IKEE!

Cerberus: (Howls and runs off to capture the bone, dragging Kakashi behind him.) GRAAOOWWAAR!

Kakashi: Muffled girlish scream.


	11. Chapter 11

Kyugan: (Stands atop the peak of mount writers block) TOP O' THA WORLD MA!

Kakashi: (Still mummified): Mmmrrf

Kyugan: AH, now that THAT's out of my system, (Pulls out an antenna and tapes it toi Kakashi's hand) Hold this a sec. (Jumps behind a boulder.)

Kakashi: Mrf? (looks up to see storm clouds gathering.) whimper.

(Lightning strikes, Kakashi's skeleton is seen in the midst ofg the flashjing lights and screams.)

Kyugan: (Checks portable battery reader.) Ah! fully charged! Thanks Kakashi...Kakashi?

Kakshi: (reduced to a twitching heap on the ground.) my life is a four letter word called pain...

Kyugan: Ah...situation normal then.

* * *

The crashing waves; the fall of Zabuza!

Haku was flying through the air, the shattered remains of one of the masked Nin's mirrors falling like snowflakes through the air. On the other side of the bridge, the muscular form of Ishijima Domon was dashing towards them, the chain for Kuchibashi-o in his fists, retracting the massive weapon.

"Damn you Hanabishi," the giant muttered, grinning at his rival in mock annoyance, "starting the party without your 'Ude'…I'm insulted."

"Whatever, Franken-dick," Recca snorted, shaking his head mockingly, "took ya long enough getting here!"

Zabuza scowled, glaring at the giant as he strode towards them confidently, his weapon hanging over his shoulder. 'These brats keep popping outta the woodwork!' the jounin muttered, casting a wary glance back at Kakashi, who had a look of relief in his eye.

Domon grinned at Sasuke, standing over him like the veritable mountain he was. "Pretty boy Uchiha don't look so pretty now, does he?" he mocked.

Sasuke growled at the giant, still winded from Haku's last assault, just as the Masked stood up and re-entered the mirrors, hurling senbon at the giant, only for Domon to dodge without even turning to face them, a lifetime of pursuing Fuko, (and her ample buxom), having prepared the giant for the masked teen's tactic.

"You're nothing!" Domon taunted, "Fuko-chan's a girl and she throws harder than you!"

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Recca snorted mockingly at the giant's taunt, shaking his head in exasperation. "He boasts, but Fuko's got 'im whipped bad." The enjutsu-shi muttered, smirking at his rival.

"Like your one to talk, Aniki." Naruto snickered, causing the brunette to flush, before flinching as something caught his eye.

"Domon!" Recca called out, "Behind you!"

At his rival's cry, the giant reflexively dodged to the left, the Senbon hurled from the mirror behind him lodging in his shoulder, rather than his skull. "A back fighter eh?" he roared, leaping back to avoid an attack from a Sensatsu Suisho, only to step right into the mirror prison, causing Recca to slap his forehead in exasperation.

"Bakayaro…"

"I heard that Hanabishi!" Domon roared, wincing as Haku cut into him like a demented sewing machine. Sasuke tried using Goukakyuu, but the mirrors stubbornly refused to melt, costing the Uchiha valuable chakra.

"Pointless," Haku stated, "such a weak flame will never damage these ice mirrors, and they cannot be broken from within as easily as before."

Domon smirked, an insane light coming to his eyes at the masked teen's claim. "Weak flame eh? Oi Hanabishi!" he called out, "Why don't you show Uchiha what a REAL Katon jutsu is?"

"Gladly!" Recca replied with a grin, lifting his hands to his chest and beginning the seals for the most powerful jutsu he'd learned from the scroll.

'Ram, Horse, Dragon, Tiger, Ram…'

"Take cover Domon!" Naruto yelled as Recca's chest inflated like a set of bellows. The mohawk sporting giant grinned and tossed himself as far away from the mirrors closest to the group as he could, grabbing a startled Sasuke by the scruff of his neck as he passed.

Recca finished inhaling and thrust his head forward, exhaling a massive flaming missile at the mirrors.

"Katon: Karyuuendan!"

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Sasuke's eyes widened as a white-hot stream of fire launched from the other genin's mouth, leaping back further as it incinerated half of Haku's mirrors upon impact, steam filling the air. 'This is crazy!' he exclaimed, 'where did he learn such a powerful jutsu?!' Gritting his teeth, the Uchiha growled, clenching his fists in anger. 'Why are they always showing me up!' he demanded, 'I'm a Uchiha! The best of the best! Yet they still manage to surpass me at every turn!'

His eyes twinged slightly, causing him to blink in order to relieve the irritation, the second he opened his eyes however, the teen was shocked to see Haku lunging towards him, only he seemed to be moving in slow motion. The avenger dodged to the side and smirked in a superior manner as he watched the startled Nin fly past.

'Well now,' he muttered, mismatched sharingan spinning, 'THIS changes things!'

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Domon blinked as he caught a look at the Uchiha's eyes, blinking in surprise at the mismatched set of tomoes set against red. 'What the-?' he wondered, before his yes widened, as the Uchiha shot a hungry look towards Recca and Naruto.

'SHIT!' he realised in alarm. 'SHARINGAN?!'

"Hanabishi!" he called out, dodging another strike form Haku, "Uchiha's got the same Sharingan as Sensei!"

Recca choked and stopped the jutsu, much to Sasuke's resentment, though the avenger merely shrugged it off, since he couldn't copy the seals of an already active jutsu.

"WHAT?!" the enjutsu-shi coughed out, along with a few smoke clouds, "When did he get that!?"

Kakashi smiled, nodding his head at the duo in the ice prison whilst keeping a watchful eye on the kirigakure no Kiishin. "The Sharingan IS the Uchiha Kekkei Genkai," he explained, "it's only natural that he'd unlock it eventually."

"Great," Naruto growled, shaking his head in annoyance, "another copycat ninja, just what we need."

'Mock me all you want, Naruto.' Sasuke muttered as he eyed the blonde with a smirk, 'With these eyes, no-one will surpass me ever again.' He shot a superior gaze at the other two, 'Not even you chumps.'

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Zabuza grunted, interested by this turn of events. "An Uchiha eh?" he wondered aloud, "I thought the whole clan was wiped out, just wishful thinking I guess."

Kakashi pulled up his Hitai-ate, looking annoyed at his opponents comment. "Is there anything more annoying than listening to another man's rambling?" the copy nin muttered, only for Zabuza to smirk and look away, raising one hand in a ram seal.

"Hope you don't mind if I steal one of your lines…" the mist demon muttered, "It goes something like: the same trick wont work on me twice!"

The genin winced as the mist-nin filled the area with a mist so thick not even the floor could be seen. They jumped at the sound of metal on metal, before Zabuza's voice cut through the mist. "You've overestimated the value of your sharingan," the Nin's voice echoed through the mist, "Heh, you pretend that it enables you to penetrate all…but you've been exposed as a false prophet Kakashi!"

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Recca frowned, eyeing the mist warily as he stayed close to his Outoto. 'So the Sharingan isn't as all powerful as its hype would make us believe?' he muttered, as Naruto tilted his head, eyes scanning for the slightest movement.

'Keep going Zabuza,' the blonde muttered, 'Tell us what we wanna know…'

Ever since the first encounter with the mist Nin, the trio had got together to discuss the dangers of having something as dangerous as the Sharingan around. The decision was made to avoid revealing any of their jutsu if Kakashi's eye was revealed, except in extreme circumstances.

Now that Sasuke had it, they were going to need to be extra careful, so whatever Zabuza had discovered during their last exchange was well worth listening to.

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"There are three stages to your precious Sharingan," Zabuza lectured a wary Kakashi, "First, with the piercing eye, you flawlessly replicate my movements to induce fear and insecurity."

The Leaf jounin dodged a strike at kidney level, whirling round only for Zabuza's shadow to recede into the mist.

"Second," Zabuza continued, "with the illusion eye, you make it appear as if you're reading my mind, when in actuality, it's a visual illusion to trick me into showing what technique I'll use and how…which means all you have to do is use your piercing eye to mimic it!"

Domon frowned, nodding as the jounin continued to explain his discoveries. 'I get it…its like high-speed-camera,' the giant noted, 'it copies whatever it sees no matter how fast it's going!'

"Realizing this, it was easy to devise a counter-measure." The missing Nin concluded, "First, I neutralize your visibility in this thick mist, whilst concealing myself."

Kakashi barely dodged a set of Kunai and skidded across the bridge.

"Heh…and with my own eyes closed," Zabuza added, "I eliminate the possibility of your hypnotizing me when we're in close proximity."

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Recca whistled appreciatively, admiring the jounin's tactics. "Fighting blind eh?" he called out, "But if you can't see at all, doesn't that make things harder?"

Zabuza snickered, a sinister sound that suited the situation perfectly. "Maybe for you brats," he allotted, "but I am a master of the art of silent killing…I have trained to hunt by sound alone!"

Naruto winced, feeling his hackles pick up in anxiety as the murderous intent surrounded them. 'We're nowhere near that skilled yet,' he cursed, 'and since none of us can use Suiton that leaves us with fighting blind…CRAP!'

Naruto blocked the sword stroke in mid-swing, knees buckling from both the weight and the jounin's monstrous strength. 'Damn! He's not as strong as Domon…but this is insane!' the blonde growled, before Recca came down with a heel kick to the jounin's head, forcing him to retreat.

"You okay Naruto?" the enjutsu-shi asked as Naruto readied his Katana.

"Guy could give Domon a run for his money…with a handicap." Naruto panted, "That overgrown cleaver isn't helping things any."

At that minute, there was a yelp from Domon, prompting them to look in the giant's last known location. "Guy's! Uchiha's down! Idiot got hit in the neck!" the teen yelled out, sounding sick, "Aw cripes he looks like he's got neck piercings…"

Recca growled, catching the note of panic in his rival's tone that usually heralded a panic attack. "Stay focused!" he snapped out, "Domon, you keep an eye on him, Naruto and I can handle Tazuna."

Naruto snorted, before eyeing the mist with a crooked smile. "Reminds me of when we'd play tag with Fuko." He muttered, causing Recca to shiver at the 'fond memory'.

"Except Fuko's a lot easier on the eyes," the enjutsu-shi muttered, smirking slightly, "not by much though." he teased, earning an outraged roar from the giant teammate.

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"SHUT YOUR YAP HANABISHI!" Domon roared indignantly, earning a brief laugh from the brothers. The giant genin growled and stood over the fallen Uchiha like a sentinel, scowling at the mist as it continued to obscure his view.

'Dammit!' he cursed, 'this guy has the advantage, especially after me giving away my position by yelling.' He snorted self-mockingly, a smirk on his face that belied his anxiety.

'This is bad,' he muttered, 'its so bad it reeks…yet I'm calm for some reason.' He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to steady himself, letting it out slowly. 'Let's see if what Kagero said is any use…'

FLASHBACK

_"Domon," Kagero instructed as the teen was working out, "during your fight's at the Urabatosatsujin, you displayed a high level of mental strength, far higher than what people would see in you." She waited until the teen was paying full atention before nodding, "If you can harness that mental energy, you could use it to detect your enemies, no matter where they are hidden."_

END FLASHBACK

'Kagero isn't the type to say something without reason.' Domon noted, face growing serious, 'Lets see if those hide and seek session paid off a little…' He took another breath to settle himself, slowly but surely filtering out the sounds around him.

A bird chirped in the trees, he moved on.

A toad croaked in the water under the bridge, he ignored it.

Gravel shifted to his left; causing him to whirl round.

'THERE!'

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Haku had been steadily edging towards the giant's last location, hoping to bring the genin down without necessarily killing him. However such thoughts soon ended when the masked Nin's world erupted into tremendous pain, courtesy of a fist the size of a small ham ramming into the mask with all the brute force of a freight train.

The slender Ninja went sailing backwards, mask shattering as it fell, before dropping lifelessly to the ground a good fifteen feet away.

Domon blinked, staring at his fist in confusion.

"Hey…" the giant mumbled, "for such a tough bastard…he was pretty light..."

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Zabuza twitched, some bizarre sixth sense telling him that Haku was in danger, and for all the jounin's bluster he truly cared for his teammate and protégé.

Cursing, he lessened the intensity of the mist just enough that he could make out the form lying on the ground not ten feet away. "Haku!" he roared, letting his guard down for the briefest of seconds, a fatal error to make in a jounin level battle.

A kunai stabbed into Zabuza's back, severing the muscles in his arm and causing him to stare over his shoulder in shock.

"You lose…demon." Kakashi muttered, sharingan spinning as he twisted the kunai mercilessly.

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Recca sighed as the mist cleared, patting his arm to rid himself of the goose bumps that were crawling up it. "Dammit," he swore, "I forgot how irritating it feels to be IT."

Naruto nodded, looking around and spotting the limp forms of Haku and Sasuke, before sighing in annoyance. "Aw man," he whined, nodding towards their still forms "we gotta dig two graves now?"

"Why don't I do that," a mocking voice called out, "I'll dig yours for you as well!"

The collective shinobi spun round and glared at the newcomers, which turned out to be an army of rouge samurai and Ronin, with a contemptible looking man at the front in a suit and shades.

'This…isn't good.' Kakashi muttered, narrowing his eyes at the new arrivals.

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"My Zabuza, don't you seem to be outnumbered?" Gato said with a smirk, his left hand was still in a cast as he tapped his cane on the ground before him.

"Gato." Zabuza growled suspiciously, "What are you doing here…?" He glared at the Ronin army behind the corrupt businessman, "and why'd you bring all of them?!"

The businessman chuckled, looking like an overweight warthog in a cheap-ass suit. "A slight change of plans Zabuza," he explained, "or a change in yours anyway." He gestured over his shoulder at his personal army, and grinned.

"You all die here, you worthless shinobi!"

The assorted ninja glared at the little man as he chuckled to himself, shaking his head at his own glee, before shaking his head.

"Hiring Shinobi is such an expensive business," Gato sighed, "especially from one of the main villages." He grinned evilly at them, causing the Konoha genin to shiver in revulsion. "They tend to object when I kill their people after the work is done."

Gato pointed his cane at the crippled Zabuza and grinned. "However! Renegades such as yourself are so much easier to dispose of, since the village won't really care what happens to you once the deed is done, and I can claim in on the bounties by brining in your head."

The tycoon pushed his glasses up on his face, looking all the more demented as the time passed. "A brilliant business stratagem-efficient and inexpensive;" he sighed, "my two favorite words."

Gato sneered at the crippled mist swordsman and smirked, waving a hand disgustedly. "My one mistake was hiring a relic like you in the first place!"

Zabuza trembled at the man's taunt, before lunging forwards with a roar of rage, raising his cleaver in an attempt to hurl it at the man, who promptly ducked behind a strange looking device covered by a tarp.

"Times change demon!" Gato yelled out, "Have a taste of modern warfare!"

A strange rattling noise suddenly filled the air, and the demon of the mist fell, cut down by a hail of bullets that actually severed his arm and left leg.

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Kakashi blanched, as the noise died down, eyes widening in horror to stare at the scene before him, shifting from Zabuza's mangled corpse to the leering army of Ronin.

'Wh-what was that?!' he stammered, only to blink as Gato's pig like laughter echoed over the silence.

"I imported several modern weapons from overseas." Gato explained, smiling through the smoke, "I'm particularly fond of this one, I believe the locals called it a 'Gatling gun'." He gazed lovingly at the weapon, as smoke drifted out of the still rotating barrels, "It's capable of firing over a thousand continuous rounds without pause."

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The Konoha born ninja froze at this, whilst Recca and Domon shot each other looks, making quick signs to each other.

(Naruto,) Recca signed to his brother, (Domon and I are gonna distract the maggot.) He scowled at the billionaire and continued when he saw Naruto nod. (While he's occupied, you dash in and lop his frigging head off!)

The blonde frowned at the idea of his teammates putting themselves at risk, before nodding and making the seal for Kage bunshin.

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Kakashi was scowling, utterly at a loss in front of mainland technology, and was considering ordering a tactical retreat when Domon lunged towards the death machine like a madman. "Domon!" the jounin yelped, holding out a hand as if to stop the teen through sheer force of will, "ARE you trying to get yourself killed?!"

The giant roared, running past Zabuza's corpse and scooping up the fallen demon's sword, doing a decent 'Braveheart' impression as he charged, sans the kilt and makeup. Right on cue, Gato smirked and ordered the gun to be fired again laughing insanely at what he thought was a last ditch attempt at survival.

'Gotcha!' Domon smirked as he felt his skin harden, the kanji for 'tetsu' appearing on his forehead. Abruptly, the fatal hail of bullets became as lethal as a summer shower, ricocheting off the giant as he charged towards them like the angel of death, a ghostly image of an Oni mask looming behind him.

Kakashi blinked, staring at the scene in wonder as the screams began. 'That was the Satsujin Kai,' he muttered, 'releasing your killing intent into a visual image behind you, effective on low level grunts like these, but…' The jounin sweatdropped as the bullets continued to ricochet off his student like pebbles.

'Why isn't he a pile of lumpy spaghetti sauce?!'

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Gato hid at the very rear of the mob, trembling in fear as the Gatling gun was demolished by the monstrous figure that had charged down a hail of bullets.

'That's no brat!' he gulped, staring through the ranks at the grey skinned giant, 'That things a monster!"' The business man winced as Domon tore into his henchmen like the devil himself, before running towards the boat they'd arrived on, hoping to find it intact and ready to speed him away to safety.

A swift explosion ended this fragile hope, along with the boat.

"Going somewhere…Kuso-gokiburi?" a voice called out over the low roar of the flames, causing the businessman to turn slowly, quaking in horror at the sight of the charred remains of his army lying on the bridge, the giant and another of the brats standing over them.

"Bit of advice," Recca muttered, "when fighting shinobi from Konoha? Wear flame retardant clothes." A scowl covered the young man's face, his right arm incased in flames.

"I normally abhor killing," he admitted, "but worthless Ronin like these don't deserve any mercy."

The billionaire was about to make a dash for it when a sword tip erupted from his chest. Gato blinked in horror, before looking over his shoulder to spot a scowling Naruto, the blonde twisted the blade before dragging it out, causing the man to fall to his knees in agony.

"Another tip; for your road ta hell." Domon added as he loomed over the terrified man, "Those who break the rules are scum…"

The trio's faces lit up at a sudden burst of flame, causing them to look more demonic.

"But those who abandon their comrades," Naruto finished, "are LESS than scum."

Gato tried to back away feebly, holding up a trembling hand to keep the monsters at bay as his chest bled openly. "P-please!" he begged, actually breaking out in terrified tears, wetting himself in his desperation, "I-I'll give you all the money you want!"

His eyes widened at a sudden thought, as he nodded empathetically. "You shinobi are just guns for higher right?" he pointed out desperately, "Well I'll pay you double, triple, no a hundred times whatever you're getting from Tazuna! Just please! Spare me my life!"

The trio growled and loomed over the man, looks of rage on their faces at his disgusting tactics, all traces of sympathy eradicated from their minds.

"Tame a dog with food." Domon growled, hefting the giant Zanbato over his shoulder.

"Tame a man with money." Naruto added, eyes becoming slit-like.

Recca allowed his flame to grow white hot, before pointing his palm at the horrified businessman. "But no man can tame the Dragons of Konoha!"

Gato screamed as the flames engulfed him like a lover's embrace, burning through cloth hair, flesh and bone, to leave behind nothing but dust.

"ARRRRGGGGHHHHH-!"

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Kakashi stared at the trio, shocked to his very core as the man's screams echoed across the impromptu battlefield provided by Tazuna's lifelong project.

'They killed him without a second thought,' he muttered, staring at the scene in shock, 'and took out an entire army armed with mainland technology.' He swallowed, shaking his head slowly in wonder. 'Hokage-sama was right…these guy's should never be underestimated.'

The jounin snorted and shook his head humorously, "I'm gonna have to pull things up a notch if I don't wanna lose face.' He realized, before raising an eyebrow in interest.

"Still," he muttered to himself, "The 'dragons of Konoha'? That's kinda catchy.' He shivered suddenly, shaking his head again. "I hope Gai never hears of it…"

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Domon turned and winced at the sight of Zabuza's mangled corpse, shaking his head in sympathy. 'Oh man that's looks nasty,' he muttered, before blinking, 'wait!'

"Zabuza's moving!" he barked, pointing at the body in shock. The group spun round and sure enough, the jounin was trying to sit up, his torn muscles failing under the strain.

"Zabuza-sama!" a high-pitched voice called out, and the trio blinked at the sight of Haku dashing towards the wounded jounin.

"…Domon…" Recca asked numbly, "did you hit him in the balls by accident?"

Domon blinked, and shook his head, causing Naruto to nod dumbly. "So either Haku hasn't hit puberty yet," the blonde muttered, "or he's really…" Haku turned to look at them and their jaws hit the floor so hard it cracked.

"HOLY SHIT!!!!"

Haku, as it turned out, was a girl with skin paler than snow, ebony black hair and the most beautiful eyes they'd ever seen.

'I have Hime…I have Hime…' Recca chanted mentally, trying to look anywhere but at the vision in front of him.

'I got Fuko…I got Fuko…' Domon recited, a little faster than his rival, a flush adorning the giant's cheeks.

'She's older than me…she's older than me…' Naruto recited, having a thing about girls being taller than him, he got enough of that back home.

"Please!" Haku's desperate voice called out, snapping the trio out of their thougts, "We no longer have a reason to fight! He needs medical care!"

"Haku…enough…" Zabuza coughed, turning his head slightly, "My lungs are gone…I can't feel my legs either…I'm finished."

"No!" Haku yelled, shaking him, "You have to live! What about your dream?!"

Zabuza coughed out blood, gazing up at the sky with fading eyes. "It was nothing more than that…a dream." The dying nin muttered, "Maybe if the seven swordsmen had banded together, we could have retaken the mist country, but not now, most of them are dead, and Kisame-sensei has long since disappeared…"

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Kakashi raised an eyebrow, stepping forward to question his one-time adversary. "You said take back the mist," he muttered, "did something happen?"

Zabuza looked at his former enemy, and nodded. "About a year ago," the dying nin explained, "a man came to Kirigakure, under the guise of offering the village power." He coughed, sending blood across his stricken chest, Kakashi kneeling beside him in concern.

"It was a trap," Zabuza spat out bitterly, "he murdered the Mizukage…took the throne…killed off most of the swordsmen of the mist…forcing us into exile."

Kakashi shivered, knowing that together the seven swordsmen of the mist were the equivalent of a small army of jounin ranked shinobi, his silver hair trembling at the news of their defeat. "Who was it?" he asked, causing Zabuza to shiver at the memory.

"I never learned his name," the mist nin muttered, "but he wore a mask over his face…and could summon flames from his hands…in the shape of an angel..."

Recca froze as the background split., as if struck by lightening his fists clenching in anger at the jounin's description.

"KUREI!!!!"

Zabuza looked at him weakly in surprise. "You…know of him?" he coughed out, prompting a frown from Domon.

"He's Hanabishi's older brother," the Giant muttered, "a real pyromaniac."

Kakashi blinked at this, before frowning in interest at his 'hot-headed' student. 'Fire from his hands,' the jounin muttered, muttered, 'a Kekkei Genkai?'

Zabuza coughed up more blood and looked at the leaf jounin weakly. "I'm finished," he rattled, "I would ask a favour…Kakashi…"

The jounin nodded, his eyes growing solemn. "Name it."

Zabuza looked to a sobbing Haku, and nodded weakly. "Take her to Konoha," he asked, "don't let her become…like me…"

Kakashi nodded at the request, pulling his headband down over his sharingan respectfully.

"We will."

Zabuza thanked the jounin solemnly, before casting a weary eye towards Domon. "Boy," he rasped, "my sword…"

The giant blinked, before realizing he was still carrying Kubikiri Houcho over his shoulder. "Oh…sorry…" he muttered, and went to give it back but the jounin waved a hand weakly, stopping him.

"Keep it." Zabuza muttered, "from one 'Demon' to another." He snorted weakly at the look on the giants face before leveling a stern glare at the trio. "I acknowledge your strength…Oni no Domon…Honnou no Recca…" His eyes landed on the grieved blond, and nodded slowly. "…Onime no Naruto…" he whispered, causing the blonde to blink in confusion.

And with that parting statement, Momochi Zabuza, the kirigakure no kiishin, one of the legendary seven swordsmen of the mist, closed his eyes for the last time as snow began to fall, summoned by Haku's tears.

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Sasuke, who had been virtually forgotten by this point twitched as the cold brought him back to consciousness, staring across the barren bridge.

'Wha happened…?' he muttered, 'where'd everyone go?' He felt his neck, and blinked in confusion. 'And why the hell is my neck pierced?!'

* * *

Well now, that was interesting! How will Haku fit in with Konoha? Will Sasuke lighten up now that he has his sharingan? And just what did Zabuza mean in his last words to Naruto? 

Kakashi: (light sizzling noise) paaaaaiiiin...

Hiruma: Ah suck it up ya damn pussy! (Starts shooting at the jounin)

Kakashi: WHYYYYY?!?!?!?! (Runs off, with Hiruma on his heels.)

Kyugan: I gotta get me some better help.


	12. Chapter 12

Zabuza has fallen, and the warriors from Konoha have encountered the dark side of the trade, in the form of crooked businessmen, honorless ronin and the horrors of mainland technology. On top of that, Kurei has been revelaed as the man who conquered the mist! What will our heroes face now?

Kakashi: (pulling off bandages) The hell should I know?

Kyugan: (snorts dismisively)You don't know nothing, your opinion doesn't count.

Kakashi:(irritably) I DO know over a thousand jutsu y'know.

Kyugan: Then get off your ass and teach them to your team you useless bastard.

Kakashi: (Turns to stone as thre kanji for 'USELESS?!?!' hovers behind him.)

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Requiem; return to Konoha!

Kakashi clapped his hands together before the headstone, sending a silent prayer to any gods that might be listening. Underneath it, encased in a block of solid ice, lay the remains of Zabuza, the swordsman's arms crossed over his stomach and his closed eyes made it appear as if he was merely sleeping peacefully.

Domon had spent half a day digging a grave for the missing Nin in the hills outside the village. He and Kakashi had lowered the body in after it had been cleaned, and were about to cover it when Haku used a water jutsu to fill the hole. Placing her hands to the surface caused the water to freeze over, becoming more crystalline than icy.

The effect being that Zabuza's body was now preserved within a diamond like tomb, his features to remain unblemished with the passage of time.

Recca had used his flames to form the tombstone, whilst Kakashi carved out the Eulogy that was to adorn it with a kunai.

_Here lies Momochi Zabuza._

_A loyal shinobi of Kirigakure._

"That's really all there is to say." Kakashi admitted, "And it's all we CAN say, being former enemies and all."

Haku nodded her head in thanks, looking down at her master's face. "I thank you," she replied honestly, "it's more than we deserve…"

Tazuna made a snorting noise that sounded suspiciously like, 'Damn right!' and had to hide behind Kakashi as three pairs of eyes drilled holes in him.

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Sasuke was forced to stay at the house due to his neck wounds, and the Uchiha was too involved with getting his sharingan to work properly to care about anything else at the moment anyway. Fortunately, this allowed the trio to get on with their training, which swiftly grew to incorporate aiding Tazuna at the site.

Workers who decided to trickle back at the news of Gato's death were shocked to see a boy welding with his bare hands, a giant who was carrying stacks of I-beams in one arm, and over a thousand identical blondes running about doing their former jobs at twice the pace.

Tazuna teased them harshly, saying he ought to hire ninja more often, until Kakashi pointed out that the help on the bridge was going to cost extra. The old man couldn't ask the workers to come back fast enough after that.

Shortly after the battle, Naruto, confused at Zabuza's title for him, had looked in a mirror to notice that his eyes had changed shape. The pupils were now slit, almost animalistic, and now had a ring of red circling them like a halo, surrounded by the electric blue he was used to.

Recca brushed it off as a 'Growing thing', knowing full well it had to be Naruto's demonic lineage kicking in, whilst Sasuke just assumed Naruto was a freak, saying as much to the blondes face and getting the snot kicked out of him for his trouble courtesy of his still recovering wounds and what he dimly recalled as a 'walking mountain'.

Things got steadily better in wave country, sales picked up, homes were rebuilt, schools reopened and the shinobi couldn't go two steps without being greeted by the inhabitants of wave country, the trio actually having to hide in a manner reminiscent of the recovering Uchiha, having developed quite the fan-club, which included every female aged ten and up, though the elder ones merely wanted to set them up with their daughters.

Now while it was true the trio were indeed fine examples of your typical warm blooded male, there was a fine line between having groupies and and having a fiance horde, and if there was one thing they had learned, from reliable manga sources, it was that such instances were warzones waiting to happen.

And so, the chief noisemakers of the leaf decided to practice the oldest, most respected of the ninja arts; run like hell, hide and keep your trap shut till the coast was clear.

Other than this, things passed quietly until finally, the time came for the group to head home.

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Kakashi and Tazuna shook hands, the elder man smiling openly. "Thanks to you our bridge has finally been completed," he scratched the back of his head, "but it's going to be awfully dull around here once you leave."

Kakashi nodded, smiling behind his mask. "Thank you for your hospitality." He said cheerfully, "We hope you consider hiring from Konoha again."

Tazuna shivered but smiled nervously at the jounin, ignoring the badly rehearsed sales pitch. "Right," he muttered, "so long as there aren't any bounties on my head!"

Ignoring the conversing adults, Domon, Naruto and Recca walked over to Inari, kneeling down in front of the distraught boy as he gripped his mother's skirt.

"Hey kid," Recca reminded him with a smirk, "remember, you have to be a big man for your mother now, got it?"

"Yeah," Domon added, flexing a muscle, "grow up strong and eat you veggies, and you'll be as big as me!"

When the boy nodded enthusiastically at the comment, Naruto patted him on the head. "So no more crying," he said with a smile, "'kay?"

Inari nodded again, before launching himself at the blonde genin, latching onto him like a limpet. "Come back soon" he bawled, hiding his head in the blonde's shirt, "Naruto-Niisan! Domon-Niisan! Recca-Niisan!"

Naruto stiffened at the child's comment, completely unused to these types of situations, before slowly hugging the boy, a warm smile covering his features. "Count on it." He promised, patting the boy's head, as the other two smirked at him.

"Oi Domon," Recca called out, "you still got that camera?"

The giant grinned and made a kage bunshin.

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"Dammit Sasuke, any photo with you in it is ruined!" Naruto muttered, scowling at the Uchiha irritably. "The only reason you're in this stupid shot is 'cause Kakashi-sensei dragged you in!"

Sasuke, true to form, ignored the irate blonde and walked off with a haughty look on his face.

"Sensei, can we kill Sasuke and blame it on Gato?" Recca asked, pulling out some shuriken, a vein twitching on his forehead as his 'asshole detector' started flaring up.

Kakashi sighed and shook his head, gripping his hotheaded student by his collar. 'This is gonna be a long walk home…' he predicted, eyeing the other two warily.

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Tazuna stared in wonder at the distant forms of the shinobi as they vanished from view. "When I first saw them, I thought they were brats." He admitted, shaking his head at the memory of that day, "But those brats strengthened little Inari's heart and united the people of the wave for the first time since Kaiza's death."

The elderly bridge builder smiled and looked towards the woods where they had disappeared. "Naruto, Recca, Domon…those three built the bridge that carried us all to hope and courage...and a better future."

He smiled at Tsunami and Giichi, raising an eyebrow for them to follow his lead. "Speaking of bridges," the builder said offhandedly, "we still have to officially dedicate this one."

The two smiled knowingly, seeing where the old man was going. "Anyone got any ideas?" Giichi asked, grinning as he pretended to look around. Inari looked up, and smirked, tugging on his grandfather's pant leg.

"How about…'The Bridge of the three dragons'?" the boy suggested, looking up at the grinning adults.

Tsunami looked down at her son and smiled.

"It's a nice name."

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On the road back to Konoha, Domon Naruto and Recca abruptly sneezed in unison, before looking around in confusion.

"There a breeze out here?" Domon muttered, rubbing his nose, looking round suspiciously.

"Don't worry," Sasuke snorted, shaking his head mockingly, "fools can't catch colds."

BAM!

Kakashi sighed as he slung the unconscious Uchiha over his shoulder as Domon stamped forwards, still looking livid, a laughing Recca and Naruto following in his wake, as they tried to support one another.

'So much for teamwork,' the jounin muttered, 'I'll be lucky if they don't kill each other at this stage!'

Haku smiled at the antics of the trio and sighed, looking up at the sky, where a cloud took on the vague likeness of her late master.

'Zabuza-sama,' she prayed, eyes closed, 'watch over me…'

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From that day on, Wave country would grow to become the bustling trade capital of the shinobi nations. Visitors to the Wave country would flock to the shrine to the demon of the mist, where you got a birds eye view of the magnificent 'Three dragons' bridge.

In the middle of the town square, there is a massive statue that depicts three young men;

One with a Mohawk and a massive Zanbato over his shoulder, another with a tekko with flames coming from his hands, and a third with a half drawn Katana, all standing on pedestal shaped like crashing waves.

A plaque on the pedestal reads as follows:

_The Heroes of the wave country, the dragons of Konoha_

_Oni no Domon_

_Honnou no Recca_

_Onime no Naruto_

_Taming the waves of adversity, they built this dream for our future._

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Sandaime smiled at Kakashi as the jounin finished his report on the events that transpired.

"I see," he nodded, "Tazuna already sent me a message saying that the payment for the mission will be brought up to A-class as soon as the first shipment comes in."

Kakashi nodded, before deciding to voice a more urgent concern than money. "Another thing Hokage-sama," he added, "Zabuza revealed that there is a new Mizukage…one that took the position by force."

Sarutobi sighed, shaking his head tiredly. "This IS unfortunate…but not surprising." He muttered, nodding to a scroll with the kanji for 'Mizu' on it that lay across his desk. "He sent me a scroll saying that his village will not be taking part in the chunin exams this year," the elderly hokage frowned ominously, "something about having an 'airing of the cupboards'

Kakashi shivered, not liking the sound of THAT statement for one second.

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Far away, in kirigakure no sato, the yondaime Mizukage scowled as yet another genin team's parameters entered his hands.

"Have the girl go through basic skills again," he muttered, "she seems the only one half way competent member in that regard." he nodded as he listed the other two names on another sheet, "The other two are to undergo Raiha's special training regimen."

A figure bowed slightly, before coughing, "Mizukage-sama…and what shall we do about the girl?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to go the way of the LAST secretary.

The masked kage frowned before nodding. "Give her to Neon, she'll whip her into shape before the month is out." He suddenly whipped round and hurled his pen at the figure sneaking up behind him, causing him to fall over, clutching at his throat.

"And send this one to Genjuro," Kurei added as an afterthought, "have him patched up and sent to Raiha for re-training."

The secretary blinked in confusion, "Shouldn't we execute him?" he asked, only to shiver as he sensed the grin he was glad he couldn't see.

"He managed to enter the room without revealing himself," Kurei complimented, eyeing the gasping man on the floor, "and managed to take my back, even if I DID have my guard down."

Despite the mask that hid his features, the stricken assassin could practically feel the leer on the other man's face.

"Why waste such potential?"

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Naruto winced as Kagero turned his head at awkward angles. "Kaa-san! That hurts my neck!" he protested, tugging away from the woman's concerned attention.

Kagero sighed, shaking her head as she sat back. "Your eyes don't seem to be damaged," she admitted at length, "perhaps it is like Recca suggested, and Kyuubi-san's blood finally activated."

"So it's just a puberty thing?" Shigeo asked with a shrug, turning back to his meal with a grunt, "Big deal."

Recca clobbered him with a flying kick to the jaw. "It is a big deal!" the teen yelled, "What're people gonna say when they see them?!"

Naruto winced, having forgotten about the villagers during his brief stay in wave country. "He's right" the blonde muttered, "I get enough shit just for being the vessel…what'll happen when they find out I'm Kyuubi's SON?"

Domon snorted, putting away his tenth bowl of teriyaki. "Simple," he muttered, "we clobber 'em if they try anything." The giant grinned sadistically, fangs glinting and eyes beady. "And then do it again for good measure!"

Naruto smiled up at his giant friend, and shook his head in amusement. "Say, are you gonna train with that thing?" he asked, pointing at the form of Kubikiri Houcho lying against the wall, causing Domon to grin.

"Yep! You got that katana, Recca's got Saiha, now I got a sword!" the giant gennin grinned at Recca, giving him the finger. "And it's bigger than yours!"

Recca snorted, waving his hand dismissively. "Whatever, you DO know what they say about guy's with big weapons…right?"

Kagero sighed happily as the usual free-for all fistfight broke out, patting rice into a bowl and handing it to a recovered Shigeo, who accepted it with a smile. "It's good to have them home." The immortal kunoichi commented, tilting her head slightly to avoid a stray kunai as it whistled past, "More soy sauce, Shigeo-san?"

Of course, not everyone was happy with the way things had turned out.

Fuko was sullen for a whole week when she found out about the C-class turned A-class mission, and refused to speak to any of them. A few days of 'hide and seek' and she got over it and the dysfunctional family was soon back to normal. Tokiya sighed as he rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of a headache taking hold as the female hokage member got into another fight with Recca involving the last fish and a misplaced comment.

'And I was enjoying the peace too…' the hyomon-ken master muttered, lifting his plate out of the way as the dust cloud rolled across the table. He blinked as something rubbed against his cheek, causing him to turn to see a smiling Haku, napkin in hand.

"You had some soy sauce on your cheek." The former mist nin explained with a smile. Mikagami merely blinked and looked away, uttering a gruff 'thanks' before resuming his meal, not missing the curious look that the mist nin was giving him.

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One afternoon after their return found Recca sitting on the floor panting, smirking to himself at his latest achievement.

'Finally did it,' he gasped, 'my own Katon jutsu…I even made up a new combo for the Karyuu!' He smirked as he stood up, punching a fist towards the monument in glee. "Watch out Konoha, the Hokage clan is here to stay!"

"Recca-kun?"

The teen slipped, blinking owlishly over his shoulder at the form of Sakoshita Yanagi. "Hime?" he mumbled, "What are you doing out so late?"

Yanagi smiled and held up a book, "Hokage-sama gave me a new medical studies book," she explained, "he says one of his old students used it."

Recca made a mental note to buy the elder a new porno book one day. "That's great!" he yelled, dancing around his princess like a hyperactive child. Yanagi blushed and looked down, deciding to get to the real reason for her visit now that she had his attention.

"Ano…Recca-kun?" she asked, "It's about Haku-san…"

Recca raised an eyebrow in confusion, not liking where this was going. "What about her?" he asked slowly, only for the healer girl to look away nervously as she fiddled with her kimono.

"Ano…it's just…do you think she's pretty?"

Recca blinked, wondering how the hell he got into these messes. He hated lying to his precious Hime, that being one of his ultimate taboos, but he didn't want to be called a pervert, or for her to stamp on his foot again simply because he admitted Haku was hot.

"Not as pretty as you Hime!" he replied, mentally patting himself on the back as the girl blushed and looked away.

"Ano…it's just," Yanagi fiddled with her skirt, "she's so elegant…I feel a little jealous."

Recca smiled and held her hands, causing her to blink and look up at him. "You have no reason to be jealous…Hime." The teen muttered honestly, causing the blonde girl to flush and looked away shyly.

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Tokiya was watching the two from the shadows, a frown marring his delicate features, as he watched Yanagi flush. He shivered briefly at a sudden chill, before sighing and glaring at a shadowy corner.

"How long are you going to watch me?" he called out, as Haku emerged from behind a tree.

"That depends," she replied honestly, "how long will you keep watching THEM?"

Tokiya snorted, before turning his gaze back to the duo in the clearing. "It's your choice." He muttered, though he felt his face flush at Haku's giggle.

"But of course it is." The pale skinned teen replied, leaning against the tree, "But I doubt you can outlast me."

Mikagami frowned, "Is that a challenge?" he asked, turning to eye the nin, only for Haku to smile, "Very well then, try not to fall asleep."

Haku merely leapt into a tree and settled herself in for the long haul. 'Maybe I should have told him I once went a week without sleep or food.' She wondered, before smirking down at the stubborn swordsman. 'But where's the fun in that?'

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News that the last Uchiha had unlocked his sharingan spread across the Konoha grapevine like raindrops; cries of his prowess surpassing all before him were being passed around until it was believed to be fact. Those that mentioned his ranking at the academy were mocked, under the logic that a true genius blossoms in the field.

It made dealing with said Uchiha a lot harder for his annoyed teammates, something Kakashi noticed very easily. The poor jounin usually had to step in to prevent them from pounding the headstrong prodigy into the ground, something that didn't help his own relationship with them in the slightest.

The basis of a good genin team was the trust, understanding and above all, teamwork between its members. It made things clear that they were the people you would trust to hold a blade to your neck and not kill you.

Kakashi firmly believed that if he were to lock the four of them into a room, even for a minute, he'd have to scrape what was left of Sasuke out of the cracks in the walls.

'And I thought teaching a THREE man team would be tough.' the copy-nin muttered, covering his normal eye with his hand as he sat at his usual stool at the jounin bar, nursing a beer.

"Problems in paradise?" Asuma asked coyly, pulling up a stool next to his silver-haired compatriot.

"You don't know the half of it," Kakashi moaned, shaking his head, "three quarters of my team are determined to drive me up the wall, Sasuke refuses to cooperate with them, and I have to personally intervene to prevent the others from ganging up on him."

He shook his head, sighing bitterly as he shook that glass gently, causing the ice to rattle. "It's worse now that he's unlocked the sharingan." He muttered.

Asuma nodded, knocking back his beer as he did so. "Heard about that," the younger Sarutobi muttered, "guess the council was right, you were the best choice for him."

"Maybe," Kakashi grunted, waving a hand dismissively, "or maybe they're getting back at me for training Itachi when we were in ANBU together."

Asuma winced at the reminder of THAT little detail, before quickly changing the subject. "I guess I got off easy," the smoking jounin smirked, "the new Ino-Shika-Cho specialize in teamwork…once Ino starts yelling.

Kakashi nodded, tilting his cup mug slightly. "Recca, Domon and Naruto work well together," he admitted honestly, "if it were just those three I'd be content." The jounin rolled his eyes sarcastically, "But of course I HAVE to teach Sasuke, being the sole Sharingan user in this village."

Kakashi shook his head, mumbling grumpily about stuck up avengers and pranksters. "It never ceases to amaze me," he muttered, "how do they pick these damn teams anyway?"

Asuma snorted and exhaled a gust of smoke. "That's one of life's little mysteries," he replied sagely, "that and women."

"What's that about women?" a voice came from behind the jounin, causing him to choke on his cig and wheel round to spy Kurenai, who forced a smile as she waved the smoke out of her face.

'And that's my cue to exit.' Kakashi muttered, slowly edging away from the two as he noticed Asuma flush a little around the cheeks, 'Don't need people hassling me to see if those two are an item again.'

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Recca, Domon and Naruto were walking down the street towards the shopping district, Kagero had needed some things to make dinner and they'd been on their way out anyway, so guess who'd been drafted for a milk run?

"So we got eggs, chicken, noodles…" Domon counted off the list with a frown, "man what the heck's your mom making Hanabishi?"

Recca shrugged, smirking up at the giant cheekily. "What do you care?" he mocked, elbowing the giant in the gut, "You'll eat anything!"

Naruto snickered at this before pausing and looking behind him suddenly, the teen rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly. "Konohamaru," he muttered, "your taste in disguises REALLY sucks…"

Domon and Recca moaned and turned round to see a box painted to look like a rock tip over, releasing a stream of smoke, from which the Konohamaru corps emerged, coughing.

"Not bad…" The youngest Sarutobi posed, after he finished hacking up a lung, "of course I expected no less from the man whose skills rival my own!"

Domon and Recca snickered as Naruto began to twitch in irritation. The trio had taken the Hokage's grandson under their wing in order to keep the 'prank-master' tradition alive at the academy.

Naturally the boy revered them as living legends, after all, how many people dared to paint the Hyuuga complex a day-glow pink, WITHOUT getting caught?

The boy had taken an exceptional liking to Naruto, especially after learning it was HE who defeated the Hokage with the Oiroke no jutsu. Needless to say, he declared the blonde his rival by the day's end.

"What do you want Konohamaru?" Naruto asked, having finished counting to ten long ago, causing the youngest Sarutobi to grin.

"You promised you'd play ninja with us when you got back!" the boy pointed out, "Remember?"

Naruto blinked, scratching his head in confusion. "When did I do that?" he muttered, as Domon crossed his eyes in thought.

Recca blinked and tapped his fist into his palm. "Ah!" he yelled, catching their attention, "Remember…"

-Flashback-

_Naruto, Recca and Domon were sprawled under a tree, panting like stricken dogs as the crickets chirped away like a demented record player._

"_It's hot…" The blonde moaned, sweating buckets._

"_Tell me about it…" Recca groused sarcastically, as Domon panted heavily in an attempt to cool off._

"_I think my brain just melted…" the giant muttered dully, eyes squinty from the heat._

_Suddenly Konohamaru appeared, a box full of sodas in his arms. "Hey guys! What's the problem?" he smirked holding up one of the soda's enticingly, "Want some?"_

_The trio crawled forwards like the living dead, reaching for the bottle like it was a lifeline, only for the kid to dangle it just outside their reach._

"_Tell ya what, I'll give them to ya, but only if you do me a favor…"_

-End flashback-

"Oh you sneaky little…!" Naruto growled, twitching as Konohamaru grinned at him triumphantly.

"A true man doesn't go back on his word," the boy pointed out, "right, Naruto-nii?"

Naruto sighed and nodded, glaring at the other two, as they snickered at him. "C'mon, lets go." He muttered, "We gotta get this back as soon as possible."

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"For the last time Konohamaru, I am not teaching you Kage bunshin!" Naruto yelled, crossing his arms with an air of finality oddly reminiscent of one Umino Iruka.

"But I wanna!" the brat replied stubbornly, stamping his foot, "Besides! Why can't I learn it?"

Naruto growled, hand on his hip as he rubbed the other through his hair, messing it up in his irritation.

"Listen;" he ground out slowly, "A. You don't have anywhere near the chakra to use it. B. If your not careful the jutsu will drain you dry." He frowned at the youngest Sarutobi, "And C. You're WAY too young to be learning something that advanced."

Konohamaru sniffed stubbornly, and then ran around the corner, in a childish tantrum. "I hate you Naruto!" he yelled, eyes shut as he sprinted off.

Recca winced as he watched the kid run off, his friends in tow. "Don't you think you were a little hard on him?" he asked, "I mean, they ARE just kids."

Naruto moaned, and gripped his head in his hands to lessen the pounding that was developing there. "Now I know how Iruka sensei felt every time I made him angry…" the blonde muttered, earning a chuckle from the other two.

The trio blinked suddenly as Konohamaru's cry of pain made them look up.

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Kankurou lifted the academy student up by his scarf and snorted. "That hurt you little shrimp." He drawled, enjoying the effect he was having on the brat.

Temari sighed, shaking her head at her brother's antics. "I'm not going to be responsible for your actions." She muttered, turning aside as if to walk away.

Kankurou reared his fist back, ready to send the kid flying, only to yelp in shock as it was caught in grip like a steel vice.

"Here now…what's all the ruckus?" Domon muttered calmly, though if you looked at him carefully, you could see the giant was irritated, the vein pulsing on his eyelid was a good clue.

Temari was reaching for her fan when she felt the edge of a blade against her throat, causing her to freeze.

"A couple of foreign ninjas by the looks of things." Naruto replied from behind the older blonde, "What are you two doing so far from home?"

Kankurou winced as he tried to move out of the grip, dropping the brat in the process. "Oi!" he cursed, "Lemme go or I'll-!"

"Have to explain to the Hokage why you decided to pick on his grandson." Recca cut in, herding the kids behind him, smirking at the shock on the older genin's face. "Wouldn't that have put a wrinkle on things?" the taunted flame wielder taunted.

Temari sighed softly, shaking her head at the trouble Kankurou had gotten them into. "We aren't here to cause trouble," she explained, "look, I'll prove it."

She reached for her back pocket, only for the blade to tilt slightly, drawing a trickle of blood, making her freeze again. Naruto reached into the pocket, ignoring the kunoichi's flush of embarrassment and flipped open the booklet.

"Temari," the blonde read, "genin of Sunagakure no Sato…" He read on for a few lines before looking up at Recca. "They're passport papers."

Kankurou grunted in acknowledgement and held up his own passport for them to see as well. "I got one too;" he added meaningfully, "we're here for the Chunin exams being held here."

The trio blinked, looking at each other in confusion.

"Did you know the exams were being held here?" Recca asked, snorting when the other two shook their heads. "Me neither," he groused, "looks like we need to pummel sensei for some answers."

Domon grunted and released his captive, much to Kankurou's relief, as Naruto sheathed his blade, returning the passport to Temari, before scowling up at the tree.

"Teme," the blonde called out, "make yourself useful and see if the ghoul hiding behind you is with these two."

There was a rustle of leaves, and Uchiha Sasuke jumped down, scowling at the redhead that appeared between the two foreign ninjas.

"G-Gaara! I was just…" the black clothed boy stuttered, before shivering at the look leveled at him.

"Shut up," Gaara warned, "or I'll kill you." He leveled a glare at the Konoha ninjas, as Kankurou willingly complied. "I apologize for my teammate." The redhead muttered, without a hint of sincerity, or that he even gave a damn, before turning on his heel to walk away.

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'Something about this guy feels…off.' Recca muttered, as he glared at the redhead's back, it was as if some internal alarm was going off, and Recca hadn't lasted as long as he had, especially with Domon and Fuko on his tail, by ignoring his gut instinct.

"You got a name there, pal?" the enjutsu-shi called out, slipping a few gunpowder balls into his palm in case things turned ugly.

The redhead turned to gaze at him with his green eyes, nodding slightly. "…Sabaku no Gaara," he muttered, "at your service…and you Four?"

Recca smirked, and pointed at himself confidently. "Honnou no Recca, of Konoha." He introduced.

Domon grinned, and held up a clenched fist. "The same," he rumbled, "Oni no Domon."

Naruto nodded his head, as he tapped the pommel of his sword. "Onime no Naruto…" he greeted, before thumbing towards the last Uchiha. "And that's Okama Sasuke."

The older sand siblings blinked, eyeing the enraged Uchiha cautiously, particularly Kankurou, whilst Temari sighed. 'Just my luck.' She muttered, seeing it as a loss.

Gaara, either uninterested or not getting the joke, turned on his heel and disappeared, the other's following suit.

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"You twisted little bastard." Domon muttered, grinning at his blonde teammate appraisingly. Naruto merely smirked at the compliment and nodded towards Konohamaru.

"You done sulking?" he asked, "We need help getting groceries." He waved over his shoulder as they walked off, smiling in a cheery manner. "Later Sasuke-CHAN."

Sasuke simply twitched with barely restrained fury as he watched the group walk off, laughing their asses off.

'There will be a reckoning Naruto.' he growled, knuckles popping under the pressure, 'I'll get you back yet…!'

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The next morning, after their daily ritual of deafening Kakashi for his tardiness, the trio dug into him on failing to inform them of the exam.

Kakashi managed to avoid a serious ear chewing, and subsequent hospitalization, by informing them that he'd nominated them for the exams the day before. Unfortunately this resulted in the poor jounin having to pull Recca and Naruto off his legs, more than a little disturbed by their enthusiasm, never mind the rib cracking bear hug from Domon.

"I suppose telling you not to report in if you don't want to is pointless." Kakashi muttered sarcastically after catching his breath, "Report to room 301 at the academy by 4:00 tomorrow."

"Is that 4:00 normal time or 4:00 Kakashi time?" Naruto quipped, earning a glare from the jounin.

"Normal time." Kakashi grumbled, and with that said, the jounin teleported away, desperate to spend the rest of the afternoon catching up on his beloved pornography. Either that or hide from Anko, the special jounin was getting a little TOO frisky for his liking with all the upcoming excitement.

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Kagero smiled at the trio, as they dug into their meal, Domon and Naruto trying to outlast each other yet again. "I heard the same from Fuko earlier," she relayed to her son, the only one not currently pigging out, "congratulations."

"Sweet! Fuko's in too Domon!" Recca yelled, nudging the giant in the ribs, before paling in horror, "Oh god! What if we have to fight her?!"

The other two turned so white you'd think they were related to Orochimaru. "Crap…" Naruto muttered, Domon merely whimpering something that sounded like 'mimble-wimble' as sign of his shock.

Kagero smiled, shaking her head at the boys' antics. "You should rejoice," She enthused, "you're the first rookies to enter the exam in over five years! Your teachers must think very highly of you."

The trio snorted and shook their heads, grateful for the change in subject. 'Yeah right' they thought in that eerie mental symmetry of theirs, 'they're probably competing to see who's done a better job.'

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Across Konoha, the leaders of the Rookie genin, with the exception of Kukai, sneezed in unison, with varying results given their location at the time.

Kurenai apologized to the hairdresser for moving, wincing as her hair got tangled in the brush.

Asuma dropped his cigarette into his crotch, with hilarious results.

Gai launched into a lengthy speech about the strength of youth warding of colds, which was largely ignored as people simply blocked the man out, walking around him in a wide berth until he calmed down again.

Kakashi was thrown out of the library for being noisy, having been warned twice for giggling already, dropping his precious book in a muddy puddle. The poor copy-nin soon found himself kneeling in a very familiar shadow, shivering in terror as he felt a pair of arms wrap around him.

"And where have you been hiding Kakashi?" Anko purred, digging her fingers into his flak jacket to prevent him from using Kawarimi. Kakashi let out a whimper as the special jounin used shunshin to teleport them to a more...PRIVATE location.

"Be gentle…"

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The trio have been nominated! How far will their camaraderie last in the forest of death, but before that, are they prepared to face the mother of all evils?

Recca: M-masaka!

Domon: K-kore-wa!

Naruto: No! Not that! Anything but THAT!

Kyugan: Oh, and expect a visit from our favorite pale skinned pedpohilliac.

Shadowy form: Kukukuku...Sasuke-kuuuuuun.


	13. Chapter 13

Ah, the exam starts, how will our heroes last in this winner takes all competition? Can they even last before the fearsome might of Ibiki?

Kakashi: This'll be fun. (Whipcracks) AGH! MY ASS YOU BASTARD!

Kyugan: Who said you could stop working, get cleaning bitch!

Kakashi: Ano...that word isn't morally acceptable y'know (Gunshot) MY KIDNEY!

Kyugan: (Holds up a remote) Damn that's a lot of blood...roll tape.

* * *

Gejimayu duo; the chunin exams begin!

Recca whistled at the sheer amount of genin filling the academy's yard, shaking his head in awe. "Man! When they said the exam was difficult they weren't kidding," he exclaimed, "that one guy looks older than pops!"

Domon nodded, growling back at a pair of stone Nins that were shooting them dirty looks. Naruto had his usual cheerful smile on his face, his katana at his side tapping gently against his thigh.

Sasuke was the mirror opposite, and had his usual scowl on his features, glaring at anyone or anything that dared to enter his personal bubble-space, which had grown to include everything within the limit of the Uchiha's eyesight in radius.

Fortunately, they made their way up the stairs without an incident breaking out, before coming to a halt on the second floor, though not by choice.

(What're these guys doing on the second floor?) Domon signed, earning a nod from the other two.

(Who cares, lets go.) Recca replied, hoping that being late would lower the amount of competition they would have to face, and made to sneak past the crowd for the stairway at the end of the hall.

Unfortunately, the resident avenger had to open his mouth and show off.

"Why don't you drop the illusion and let me past," Sasuke jeered smugly, "I have business on the third floor.".

The two 'genin' behind the blockade snorted, moderately impressed. "So you figured it out," Kotetsu muttered, shaking his head slightly, before lunging forwards. "But seeing through it isn't enough!"

Sasuke moved to block the incoming attack, only to receive a blow to the head that sent him face-first into the floor.

"BAKAYARO!" Naruto yelled, hitting the Uchiha over the head with his sheathed katana repeatedly, "HAD TA OPEN YOUR BIG MOUTH DIDN'T YA?!"

Domon grunted, cracking his neck joints in irritation, casting an annoyed glare towards their stunned audience. "Mendokuse" he muttered, "now we got more problems to deal with!"

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In the crowd, Hyuuga Neji frowned at the group analytically. 'They noticed the illusion,' he noted, 'and were planning on walking right by it to diminish the amount of competition.'

The Hyuuga smirked, shaking his head at the bizarre turn of events. 'A good plan,' he acknowledge, 'until raven head screwed up that is.'

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"I dare you to try that again." Sasuke growled at the blonde, rubbing the back of his skull in anger, wincing at the multitude of goose eggs he felt forming.

"WITH PLEASURE!" Naruto yelled, and was about to clout the Uchiha before Recca grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Don't bother Naruto," the enjutsu-shi sighed, "you'll chip you blade off his thick head." He smirked at the blonde conspiratorially, before raising his voice slightly. "Besides," the teen called out, "you don't want your sword to catch something from Okama-chan do ya?"

Several genin raised their eyebrows at this and a wide area suddenly appeared around the Uchiha, a good ten feet in diameter, allowing Team Kakashi to make their way up the steps ahead of a muttering crowd.

However, in their desire to get as far away as possible from the mob, they failed to notice a beady pair of eyes watching them from under a thick pair of eyebrows.

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"Had to be at least thirty guys back there," Domon muttered, stamping through the hallway just behind the rest of his teammates, "dammit Uchiha, nothing's ever easy with you!"

"Matte!"

The group paused and looked up to see a kid with a bowl cut and the bushiest eyebrows they'd ever seen looking down at them.

"A Muppet?" Domon exclaimed stupidly, noticing the look Recca gave him and blushing, "Ganko made me watch the show at Fuko's." the giant explained, earning a nod from his rival.

The strange looking teen looked a year older than Naruto, and had a determined look in his eyes as he gazed at them, or more specifically, Sasuke.

"You and me…here and now." he challenged, "Wanna fight?"

Naruto blinked, his brain finally accepting that the bizarre figure did indeed exist, and that he had just challenged Sasuke. "Who the heck are you?" he stammered, trying to look anywhere but at the genin's lower regions, which were quite visible thanks to his fashion statement.

"My name is Rock lee." The teen introduced, before pointing at Sasuke, "Etiquette requires you introduce yourself before enquiring another's name."

Sasuke smirked, shaking his head slightly. "Uchiha Sasuke," he introduced, "but you probably knew that already."

The teen nodded and moved into a stance, frowning in concentration. "I'm calling you out!" he declared, "I've wanted to test the effectiveness of my techniques against the last surviving member of your legendary clan."

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Sasuke smirked, his ego swelling at the teen's words. 'Finally, someone that acknowledges the might of the Uchiha.' He muttered, moving forwards, before a hand stopped him. The Avenger glared at Recca who glared right back at him, clearly unimpressed, having gotten worse looks from Kurei.

"We don't have time for this Uchiha," Recca muttered, "get your ego under control before I have Domon knock you out." He looked at the green clothed genin and nodded apologetically. "Sorry, but we're late as it is, if you wanna face Sasuke-chan; do it in the exam."

The bushy browed genin blinked in confusion, as if only noticing the other teens for the first time. "Who are you?" he asked, prompting a nod from the enjutsu-shi.

"Hanabishi Recca." The teen replied, before nodding, a smug look on his face, "Rock Lee was it? You owe me one." At the Genin's look of confusion Recca smirked, thumbing at an annoyed Sasuke.

"Uchiha unlocked his sharingan a while ago," he explained, "he'd have stolen and copied every move you made."

Lee blinked once, twice, before striking a bizarre pose and smiling. "YOSH! Arigato Hanabishi-san!" he yelled, "In return, I shall return the favour in the finals by fighting you full out!"

The group blinked at this, sweat dropping in unison. 'How's that repay anything?' they thought, Sasuke actually joining in, when there was an explosion of smoke and a man on a turtle appeared.

"AH! The exuberance of youth!" the man yelled from atop his perch, "You four are most assuredly full of it!"

The trio had to pull their jaws off the grounds at the sight of the man, as Sasuke suppressed a full body shudder.

'Look at those eyebrows!' Recca gaped, swearing he saw them moving like a set of caterpillars.

'What the heck is he wearing?' Naruto thought numbly, 'And why's he doing that daft pose?'

'Where'd the turtle come from?' Domon wondered, eyes meeting the terrapins dumbly, his brain threatening to commit seppuku if he tried to comprehend anything involving the apparition standing on the beast's shell.

"By the way, how's Kakashi doing?" the man asked after his mind-numbing hug with Lee, prompting Team 7 to blink back to semi-consciousness.

"You know Kakashi sensei?" Naruto asked; eyes confused as the man chuckled conspiratorially.

"Know him?"

Sasuke blinked, then felt his eyes widen as the man apparently disappeared.

"I should say so!" came a voice behind them, "We're arch rivals!" As the group stared at the man in stunned disbelief he made a thumbs up and smiled again. "The odds stand at 50-49 wins in my favour!" he boasted, "I am stronger than Kakashi!"

'I believe it, if your speed's any indication.' Sasuke muttered, frowning at how easily the jounin had taken the rear.

Recca nodded dumbly, then pulled himself together with a shake of the head. "Listen, nice meeting you…" he paused as he tried to recall the man's name, "Gai-sensei, but we gotta go, we'll pass your regards on to Kaka-sensei later."

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Gai waved them off loudly and with cries of 'Youth', which they attempted to block out, sighing in relief as they got out of earshot.

"That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life…" Naruto muttered, shivering in revulsion as the final echoes died away, "and believe me, I KNOW scary."

"Every time I blink, I see those two hugging." Domon whimpered weakly, face greener than Gai's spandex. Sasuke shivered again and fixed his glare dead ahead, determined to put the obviously insane duo out of thought and mind.

As it was, when the team met Kakashi at the door to the exam room, they walked right past him before he could say anything, Naruto giving an enigmatic, 'Uber-brows says hi.' as the sole explanation.

'Uber-? Ah.' The jounin realized, shaking his head, 'So they met Gai eh? Poor little lambs.'

He shrugged and pulled out his beloved porn, giggling as he picked up where he'd last left off. The jounin would have given them a big encouraging speech, but he was feeling a little drained from the night before. As it was, he barely had the energy to turn the pages of his beloved book.

Of course, if he'd been any other man, he'd still be in the hospital suffering from exhaustion, but if there's one thing Kakashi prided himself on, it was his stamina, determination and most of all, his technique.

Seriously, do you know how HARD it is to outrun a horny Mitarashi Anko while wearing nothing but a thong and with your arms and legs shackled together? That took talent of almost GODLIKE proportions, which in retrospect, could make up for any little inconveniences which shall not be spoken of here, no siree.

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Inside the three genin glared at Sasuke after taking in the sheer amount of competition already in the hall.

"This is all your fault." Naruto muttered, "If we survive this, we're pranking you so hard you won't know up from down."

The Uchiha snorted dismissively, but on the inside he shivered, remembering how devious the three could get when they felt like it, the genin exam for example.

He was knocked out of his thoughts by pink and blonde projectiles latching around his neck, choking him.

"Let him go forehead girl!" the blonde, one Yamanaka Ino, yelled at her rival and former best friend, Haruno Sakura, as she unwittingly throttled Sasuke in her attempts to hug him.

"I saw him first Ino-buta!" the pink-haired kunoichi retorted, tightening her grip on the Uchiha and only adding to the avengers predicament, as the two love struck girls promptly began a tug of war with his neck.

The trio snickered, as the Uchiha turned blue from lack of oxygen. "For a queer, you sure pick up a lot of chicks, Sasuke-chan." Naruto snickered, only for the girls to round on him in 'righteous' fury.

"Sasuke-kun isn't gay!" Ino yelled, flames burning in her eyes as she towered over the self proclaimed future Hokage.

"Don't you dare insult him again you little brat!" Sakura yelled; fists clenched and ready to pummel Naruto into submission, as she had on numerous times at the academy when she believed the blonde was getting too full of himself.

"_SHANNAROOOOOO!"_ Inner sakura raged, looming behind the girls, wielding dual machetes in her rage, a headband reading 'death to the midget' across her massive brow.

Domon winced at the slur to Naruto's height. 'Bad call…' he muttered, grabbing the blonde's coat just in time to prevent a massacre.

"I'M NOT LITTLE!" Naruto roared, limbs lashing out in all directions, "DON'T CALL ME MIDGET! OR SHORTY! OR SHRIMP!"

Sakura and Ino leapt back in surprise, sporting black eyes as the frothing blonde struggled in the giant's grip, more shocked at the fact that Naruto had actually STRUCK them than his reaction to Sakura's insult.

"Man, why don't you guys just die and do us all a favour?" Shikamaru complained, yawning lazily as he ambled towards the group alongside Akimichi Chouji, his best friend.

"I could as the same of you Shikamaru." Recca smirked, "The amount of time you like to close your eyes, I'd have thought you'd enjoy a more permanent nap."

"Mendokuse…" The lazy genin snorted, and looked around the room, an annoyed frown on his face.

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Domon sighed as he released a still growling Naruto, the blonde having calmed down considerably since his initial rant. Looking around the room in irritation the giant blinked as he spotted a familiar face approaching them, before grinning stupidly as little hearts started circling his head.

"FUKO!"

The rookies, and everyone else for that matter, winced as the giant's bellow deafened them; his waving his arms in the air wasn't helping their image any either.

"Jeez Domon, lower your decibel count would ya?" the wind user chided, rubbing her ear from the yell. Yanagi smiled at Recca and waved shyly, whilst Mikagami snorted derisively.

"I wondered where Haruno had run off to," the swordsman muttered, running a cool glare over the pink haired kunoichi, "I thought I told you to stay close?"

The pink haired girl stuttered something that sounded like an explanation, only to be silenced by a look from her male teammate.

"No excuses," the swordsman muttered, "you gave your word that your infantile crush on Uchiha wouldn't affect your performance, now get over here."

Sakura sulked and trudged back to stand with her team, scowling at a grinning Ino, whilst Team 8 made their own noisy (Kiba) entrance, Kiba getting into a yelling match with the still irate Naruto over who was going to kick who's ass in the exams.

"You're nothing Uzumaki!" Kiba boasted, "Akamaru could take you down all by himself!"

"He'd have to!" Naruto retorted, "I'd have taken you down before you could even blink!"

Kiba and Akamaru snarled and tried to stare down the blonde, only for him to get up in their faces and do the same, sparks flying around them like miniature thunderbolts.

"Would you guys do everyone a favour and just shut up?"

The rookies looked up to see a blue haired genin walk over to them, looking annoyed.

"A bunch of wet behind the ear rookies, fresh out of the academy?" he muttered, "What do you think this is? A field trip?"

Mikagami raised an eyebrow delicately, a sign of irritation to those who knew him well, as he fingered Ensui, ready to fillet the bespectacled teen. "And you would be?" he probed cautiously.

The teen snorted, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Yakuushi Kabuto, what's it to ya?" he sniffed, before nodding over his shoulder, "You all need to wake up and look around."

The group did so, instantly feeling the killing intent washing over them from the other teams. Hinata, Sakura and Shikamaru shivered as goose bumps ran up their spines, the Nara actually seeming to snap out of his 'to-lazy-to-live' daze.

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"Those thugs are from Amegakure," Kabuto explained, "the village hidden in the rain, which shares territory with the hidden mist village." He pushed up his glasses again and nodded towards the growling Nins. "They've got fuses shorter than a sick moth's lifespan, so quiet down before they decide to beat the crap out of you."

Yanagi looked at Kabuto curiously, wondering at his age and caught the teen's attention. "Kabuto-san," she asked, "is this your second time entering the exam?"

"Seventh." The genin replied, "Twice a year for almost four years now."

"Man you must really suck!" Kiba guffawed, Akamaru adding his own two ryo by barking at the teen.

"Cute." Kabuto muttered, pulling out a deck of cards, "Though it has given me a wide database to study."

Sasuke stepped forward, looking intrigued. "You got any information of Rock Lee from Konoha, Ishijima Domon, Hanabishi Recca, Hanabishi Naruto and Sabaku no Gaara?" he asked, to which Kabuto smirked.

"You know their names already?" the older teen asked, shuffling the deck, "That'll make it easier." Kabuto pushed Chakra into the respective cards and read the details out loud for all to hear.

"Rock lee: A year older than you lot. Missions: 20 D-rank, 11 C-rank." He scanned the card carefully before nodding. " It seems his specialty is Taijutsu, only base ninjutsu at best. He's a first time contender. Team-mates: Hyuuga Neji and Tenten."

Hinata flinched at her cousin's name and looked away, Naruto noticed this and raised an eyebrow, but didn't bother to find out why.

"Ishijima Domon:" Kabuto continued, "Your year, 15 D-rank, and one A rank…says here he's an immigrant to Konoha. Pretty well balanced offensive stats, and has a penchant for large weapons."

Domon glared at anyone that seemed to be snickering, before looking back as Kabuto continued.

"Hanabishi Recca: Same stats, another immigrant, says here he hopes to set up his own clan among the hierarchy in Konoha."

Recca frowned and pointed at the spectacled genin, knowing some of that info was private. "You sure know a lot about us," he muttered openly, "You stalking us or something?"

Kabuto scoffed and shuffled his deck to find Naruto's card, causing Recca to scowl suspiciously at how he'd avoided the question. The blue haired genin had some trouble with finding Naruto amongst his deck; not knowing that Kagero had adopted the blonde since the last update.

"Here he is:" he finally announced, "Uzumaki Naruto: same stats as Recca and Domon, Mastered Kage bunshin to pass the genin exam, recently adopted into the Hanabishi family; Report says his height is not to be discussed."

Naruto growled and glared at Ino and Sakura, pushing the top of his blade out with his thumb, causing them to shiver.

Kabuto looked at the last card and frowned. "Sabaku no Gaara:" he read, "8 C-ranks and a B-rank." he whistled at that, stating that not many genin get B-rank missions, seemingly ignoring team seven's accomplishment, much to the trio's ire.

"Since he's from Sunagakure, I've got next to no info on him," the bespectacled genin muttered, "other than that he returned from every mission unscathed." He looked at the Uchiha, holding his gaze carefully. "Without a scratch."

The rookies gulped, looking decidedly nervous at the thought.

'Even I get battered around a bit on missions.' Domon muttered, shivering at the memory of their latest exploit, 'If not for Tetsugan…that wave mission would've been a lot worse…'

Sasuke shivered in anticipation, before sending a critical gaze towards the redheaded Suna-nin. Gaara noticed the glare and looked back at the teen, his gaze cool and aloof, as if the raven haired gennin wasn't worth the effort.

"Every hidden village has sent its teams here to be tested, even Otogakure," Kabuto explained, catching the genins' attention before snorting offhandedly, "but they're a recently formed nation, and thus not as influential as the others."

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Naruto, having been exposed to it for most of his life, sensed a subtle change in the rooms killing intent, and scowled at the apparently incredulous Kabuto. 'And the idiot tells us to watch our mouths?' he muttered, gripping his sword in preparation for an ambush.

"It doesn't matter anyway." Recca snorted, looking unimpressed. The others looked at him and he grinned confidently, holding up a clenched fist. "Genin, Chunin, Jounin...anyone that stands in my way, I'll kick their ass!"

As expected, all the killing intent in the room swung towards the flame user, causing his fellow rookies, sans those who were used to him, to question his sanity.

They were about to be dog piled upon by the other candidates; which Sasuke suspected was Recca's intention from the start, when fortunately, Morino Ibiki decided to interrupt with his ever so tactful approach.

"SHUT UP YOU LOUSY BASTARDS!"

Naruto covered his ears, grinning cheekily as the proctor finished yelling. "OH! My virgin ears!" he whined in a high-pitched voice, causing Recca to snort and Domon to guffaw loudly, the mood lightening somewhat, even a few proctors cracking a grin at the blonde's antics.

"A smart ass huh?" Ibiki stated, smirking mirthlessly, "we'll see how smart you are on the test, get in your seat, I'll hand the papers out soon."

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The assembled examinees listened as the scarred proctor explained the rules, before telling them to get to work.

'This looks…familiar…' Naruto thought, blinking as he ran his eyes over the test with a sweatdrop.

Sitting in his hands, word for word, was an exact duplicate of the exam they tried to use on him in the academy.

'The bastards on the council must have been really getting desperate in their attempts to flunk me', the blonde realized, 'if they resorted to this type of tactic back when I wasn't even a genin.'

This time however, Naruto was well prepared to tackle the questions, having faced it down before, thus knowing it's weaknesses.

'Nii-san shouldn't have any problems with cryptography,' he muttered, 'and Domon's no slouch when he puts his mind to it when it comes to puzzles.'

The blonde smirked as he eyed a very familiar question, before blinking as he noticed someone sitting to his right, nearly falling off his seat at the sight of the Hyuuga heiress in all her timid glory.

'Damn!' he muttered eyes wide as saucers, 'Either this girl's a master of stealth, or I'm more out of it than I thought…she didn't even register on my senses!'

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Within the blonde's mind, his demonic father sighed and shook his head exasperatedly.

'Naruto…I trained you to detect people by their killing intent,' he muttered, 'but you're blind if a person means you no harm!'

He palmed his forehead and groaned, lamenting his own lack of foresight. 'I knew I should have told him that part,' he muttered, ' but then I never thought there was someone that DIDN'T want to carve him open like a turkey…'

Kyuubi sighed and shook his head, shrugging slightly.

"Ah well, I'm sure he'll figure it out."

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"L-lets do our best!" the shy kunoichi encouraged, smiling shyly at her secret crush. Naruto nodded, casting a wary glare at her from the corner of his eyes.

'Gotta keep my eyes on her,' he decided, 'sneaking up on me like that…she's definitely up to something.'

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Halfway into the exam and Domon was stumped.

The giant had answered a few of the questions regarding puzzles, but most of the rest were theoretical or involved code breaking, and he had reached his limit in those regards.

He was actually considering trying to cheat when a kunai whizzed past his head and stabbed into the test behind him.

"Number 102, you fail." The proctor responsible muttered dully, before being blown of his feet as Mt. Domon erupted.

"YOU ALMOST STABBED ME WITH THAT THING TEME!" Domon roared, unconsciously pulling off Iruka's 'giant evil head' jutsu in his irate state. "DO THAT AGAIN AND I'LL SHOVE THAT CLIPBOARD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE SHITTING OUT SPLINTERS!!!"

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Ibiki blinked as the giant's head deflated, leaving a traumatized proctor that needed to be carried away on a stretcher, bleating like a sheep.

'Either that was Iruka's jutsu or I'm a masochist…' the ANBU commander muttered, ignoring the looks of irony the multi-verse leveled at him.

What, can't Ibiki prefer a cuddle at night to kinky sex?

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As Domon seethed silently he noticed a mirror hanging from a vent in the ceiling with the answers to someone's test reflected on it clear as day.

'Dunno who's doing it, but I'll take it!' he muttered, making sure no one was looking his way.

Ahead of the giant, Tenten shivered and looked around warily, having the distinct impression that she had been caught out, but saw no reaction from the proctors.

'Must be imagining things.' She theorized, before turning back to her paper.

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Unbeknownst to Domon or Tenten, Recca had also spotted the mirror, and had just taken down the last answer from the sheet before cursing as he realized that Naruto was too far down the aisles to see it and would have to rely on his own intuition if he hoped to pass the test.

'Hang in there bro.' Recca muttered, gripping his pencil tight enough to snap it in two, "All you need to do is hang onto one point and well be through this hurdle!"

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Naruto sighed and shook his head exasperatedly; so far he'd answered only one question on the damn thing, the one that had bugged him at the academy.

'Knew looking into it was worth it.' He snickered, remembering the long hours he'd spent stubbornly trying to work out the equation, much to Mikagami's ire. 'Still leaves me stumped on the other eight.' He muttered sullenly, glaring at the test paper as if hoping to set it alight.

Hinata surprised him at that moment by tapping him gently on the elbow, causing the blonde to jump slightly. "N-Naruto-kun," the shy kunoichi stuttered, "y-you can look at my answers…if you like."

Naruto blinked, staring at the Hyuuga in confusion as she flushed slightly. 'What's this girl's game?' he wondered, 'She doesn't strike me as the sneaky type, yet she slipped under my guard.' He frowned at the girl, causing her flush to deepen. 'And those actions…is that stutter an act?'

He looked into her eyes to try and read her as his father had instructed, only to blink as a weird rush shot up his spine.

For a moment the two genin were looking directly into each other's eyes, and time seemed to stop all round them as a result.

Pale white gazed into electric blue and vice-versa, a strange sort of pull keeping them from looking away, making it seem as if they were being drawn into the other's eyes like moths to a flame.

Naruto felt his heart skip a beat and the moment ended, Hinata was looking away, flushed in the face as the blonde tried to catch his breath.

'W-what the hell?' Naruto gasped, shaking his head, 'What WAS that?!'

Whatever it was, the blonde decided not to take a gamble on it, and gently turned the girl down, thanking her all the same.

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Hinata was blushing so hard she almost couldn't reply to the blonde's polite refusal, barely managing out a weak apology as it was.

She couldn't believe she just looked him in the eyes like that, those deep cerulean eyes that reminded her of two lakes. The pupils were unusually shaped, but coming from a family with unusual eye coloration, you tended to ignore such things.

The fact was, whatever way you looked at them, Naruto's eyes were so warm and deep that the Hyuuga heiress felt as if she could drown in them.

'Naruto-kun…' she thought warmly, placing a hand over her heart.

The shy girl listened as Ibiki explained the rules for last question to them, wondering if she had gotten the answers right during the exam, and was shocked when Naruto's hand rose in the air, trembling.

At first she felt her heart clench in concern for the blonde and reached out to say something, only to let out a small squeak as he slammed his hand down on the table so hard it split in half.

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"Don't take that tone with me!" Naruto roared over the shocked silence, "I don't quit and I don't run! I'll take that stupid question!" He pointed at himself with his thumb, smirking confidently. "Even if I become a genin for the rest of my life, I'll become Hokage even if I have to rely on my stubbornness alone!"

The blonde sneered and gave the ANBU commander the finger "So bring it on you walking scratching post! I ain't afraid of you!"

The assorted Proctors shivered and moved away from Ibiki nervously, wanting to get as far away from ground zero as possible. The reason being that last person who insulted the ANBU commander had been found beaten to death with his own skull, despite all medical and forensic logic.

Everyone in the room stared at the genin in trepidation, several wondering if Ibiki was going to go all jounin on his ass, but the proctor merely grunted in amusement.

"Little man," the torture specialist smirked, "I AM impressed, but are you really prepared to be a genin for the rest of your life?"

Naruto snorted, and flipped the bird again. "Bring it on, mister proctor."

Ibiki frowned at this, before running his eyes over the assorted genin remaining and sighed; the blonde had ruined his fun. "For all those still present…" he paused for effect, watching the genin lean forwards, "You've just passed the first exam."

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There was silence for a few minutes, in which Ibiki began to explain himself, before three audible snapping noises were heard.

"YOU BASTARD!!!!" the trio roared, slamming Ibiki into the wall so hard he left a dent, through sheer lungpower alone.

As such, when Anko dramatically entered the room, it was to find Ibiki embedded in a wall, three enraged looking genin, and a chibified group consisting of traumatized genin and proctors huddling in a corner.

'What the hell happened here?' she wondered, miffed that her dramatic entrance had been ignored, still a little annoyed at having lost to Kakashi at street tag.

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"This is the arena for the second exam: training ground 44." Anko explained with a smirk, "We among the jounin affectionately refer to it as the Forest of death."

"I can see why…" Naruto muttered in a deadpan tone, staring at the remains of a dog, covered in flies and maggots, earning a chuckle from the surrounding examinees. Anko however, was not so impressed with his smart mouth, and the blonde found it necessary to dodge a kunai aimed at his face, only to blink as another dug into his cheek.

Anko licked the blood off the startled blonde's cheek and smirked. "You noisy ones are always the first to go," she purred, "spilling all that delicious-eh?"

The jounin blinked as the business end of a kunai jabbed into her spine, held by an annoyed looking Recca.

"Stop sexually harassing my Outoto and back off." the teen warned, digging the point of the kunai in deeper to stress the point, causing the jounin to growl at him. The flame wielder merely frowned at her, before shivering as something wet rubbed against his cheek.

Recca turned his head slightly, only to let out a decidedly un-masculine shriek as a massive tongue returned the woman's kunai to her. 'What's with this freakin exam?!' the enjutsu-shi mentally wondered, shivering at the sight of the grass nin's massive tongue as it retreated back into the nin's head.

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Naruto shivered as he stepped away, Anko having released him to converse with the grass-nin with the freakishly long tongue. 'That was creepy,' he muttered, flushing slightly at the memory of Anko's assets against his back 'yet some part of me didn't mind…'

"You damn lucky bastard." Domon said, raising his eyebrows suggestively, causing the blonde to flush beetroot.

"Urusei!" he yelled, "I don't fall for old women!"

The examinees shivered as the air froze behind the nervous blonde, a red-eyed Anko looming over him, senbon clutched between her fingers.

"Meep…"

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Naruto spent the next fifteen minutes dodging senbon needles aimed at his vital points whilst Recca shook his head in exasperation and Domon roared with laughter.

The grass Nin snickered rubbing his tongue against his teeth as he felt a thrill go through him at the sound of the blonde's shrieks.

'Still as hot tempered as ever… ne, Anko-chan?'

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With her rage sufficiently vented, for the moment, Anko proceeded to explain the purpose of the scrolls while Naruto pulled senbon out of his ass.

"Dammit, I THOUGHT she looked familiar." The blonde muttered, wincing as he pulled another out, "She's that crazy lady from before!"

Domon nodded, as he reached for his medicine kit, preparing to use disinfectant, just as Recca came back with their scroll, shivering slightly.

'I'm so glad we didn't fill in those forms.' The enjutsu-shi thought, snickering, 'Let the witch get in trouble, we'll just hide behind Domon again if she starts anything.'

Domon didn't like the look on Recca's face and made a mental note to stay as far away from the sadistic proctor as he could without leaving the continent.

"One last thing." Anko called out before the gates were opened, "Stay alive!"

'Yeah right.' Naruto thought sarcastically, 'Like I spent the last thirteen years of my life suffering just to let a bunch'a trees finish me off?'

Team seven dashed through the gates as soon as they opened, Naruto giving the sadistic kunoichi the finger as he passed her.

Anko smirked, shaking her head appreciatively as the blonde disappeared before she could retaliate. 'Kid's got balls,' she admitted, 'if he were only a few years older…' She snorted and shook her head, amused with herself, before heading off to munch on some dango.

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And the exam has begun? How will team seven deal with a sennin class opponent? Will Sasuke survuve his encounter with the great snake? Tune in to find out!

Kakashi: (mumbling) I'm not compensating for something...

Kyugan: Please, GAI has a bigger thingee than you.

Kakashi: He does not!

Kyugan: Ah, you speak form experience then.

Kakashi: I hate you.

R&R!!!

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

Welp, now that the first part of the exam is under way, how will team 7 handle the Forest even trained shinobi avoid with caution?

Kakashi: I'lll wager a weeks wages that they pull out of it alive thanks to good teamwork.

Kyugan: I'll wager you'll be shot in the ass again before the tape starts.

Kakashi: Wha- (BANG!) ARRRGH!

Kyugan: (Holds up remote) Whiner, I shot the good cheek., (Points remote at Television as Kakashi hops around holding his ass) Roll tape.

* * *

The forest of Death; the cursed seal!

Two hours into the second exam and most of the teams were already half-way up shit-creek without a boat. Team 8 managed to snag their second scroll early by taking advantage of the terrain and their own tracking skills.

Ino attempted tpo seduce Neji in an attempt to swipe the scroll, only for the Stoic prodigy to mock her and drive the all to eager team 10 to make for the hills.

And as for Team 7...well, let's just say their day had been...uneventful of late.

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"I fucking hate these woods." Domon growled as he slapped another flying leech out of the way, wiping the slime on his pants, "Whose bright idea was it to take the straight path to the tower?"

"Sorry," Recca grunted, hurling a shuriken and deflecting yet another leech, "but this place is unfamiliar, even for us." He eyed the tower, still a ways off in the distance, "We gotta put as much distance with the other teams and stake out the tower."

"I say we ambush another team, then move on the tower." Sasuke growled, earning a snort in reply, causing him to look up in annoyance.

"Yeah well, those who think themselves above janken can't make decisions." Recca shot back cheekily, earning another growl from the Uchiha, "But if you're so dead set on it, go right ahead." The teen realized his mistake as Sasuke smirked and disappeared into the undergrowth. "SHIT! I was kidding TEME!" Recca yelled, whilst Naruto groaned, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Nice going bro," the blonde muttered, leaping into the woods, "now we gotta track him down."

Domon groaned again, and covered his face wearily. 'What did we do to deserve this?' he wondered, before wincing, following his annoyed teammates into the dense brush, 'Oh right…the pranks.'

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"Word of advice," Sasuke sneered, gazing at the crippled rain Nin he'd cornered without his team; the idiot even had the stupidity to have his team's scroll with him, "Shinobi work in teams for a reason." he finished smugly, before three pairs of feet landed behind him, causing him to frown in annoyance. 'Whether we like it or not.'

"Teme! I wasn't being serious!" Recca yelled, stamping up to the Uchiha and getting in his face, "Argh! Now we're lost in this shithole and it's all your fault!"

The rain Nin, noting the attention was on the annoyed Uchiha, tried to crawl away toward the bushes, only for Domon to kick him in the head, rendering him blissfully unconscious.

"No luck here," the giant muttered after rummaging through the Nin's possessions, pocketing the contents of the nin's wallet and extra weapons, "just another heaven scroll."

"Terrific! Not only are we lost, but we got nothing out of it!" Recca yelled, grabbing his head and spiking in his ire, "Dammit Sasuke, you really are a curse!"

At that moment, a massive gust of wind sent all four genin flying. Domon and Naruto used Kawarimi to switch places with some logs and grabbed onto the trees, Sasuke used his kunai to get a grip on the trunk, whilst Recca used the tree climbing exercise to stick to the part of the tree free of the wind.

"I WASN'T BEING LITERAL!" the enjutsu-shi swore as he glared heavenward, only for the wind to die down, an evil cackle sounding over the settling woods.

"Not bad," a raspy voice called out, "not bad at all." The dust cleared somewhat, revealing the androgynous kusa-nin from before, looking mildly impressed, arms crossed over his chest.

"I had expected you all to be separated." The Nin admitted, smiling as he held up an earth scroll mockingly, "I suppose you'd like to take this from me…ne?"

To the horror of the genin, the freak wrapped his tongue around the scroll and swallowed it, the neck bulging disgustingly as the scroll passed down his gullet, before he reached a hand to his eye.

"Well then…shall we?!"

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Sasuke froze as the image of him being ripped apart like a wet paper bag jarred through his brain, amidst high pitched screams that sounded suspiciously like his own, before the image of a kunai lodging in his skull shattered the illusion. The avenger fell to his knees, puking his guts out as he tried to drag air into his tortured lungs.

'This…this killing intent!' he shivered, recalling THAT night with alarming clarity, 'we have to retreat! We have to-!'

"OOMPH!" the grass Nin yelled as Domon's fist slammed into his jaw, sending him flying backwards into a tree trunk, snapping Sasuke out of his daze long enough to look at his giant teammate.

"Cheap-ass illusions won't work on me." Domon grunted, a bruise on his face showing where he'd punched himself. He cracked his knuckles as the grass Nin stood up, before spitting on the ground. "And you call that killing intent?" he asked mockingly, "I've felt worse from kittens!"

The Nin growled and made to slither towards the boy when he was forced to avoid a Housenka from Recca; the fireballs contained shuriken however and he was forced to continue to dodge before his back shivered, alerting him to the approach of Konoha's no.1 troublemaker. 'They're much better than I anticapated.' he hissed appreciatively, 'but then again, I doubt they'd stick an Uchiha with a pack of rejects.'

Naruto cursed as his sword missed the freak's neck, flipping over and landing beside the other two as they regrouped, Sasuke slowly getting to his feet beside them.

Running an eye over the assembled genin, the kusa-nin noticed the blade in the blonde's hand, raising a delicate eyebrow and smiling creepily. "An impressive sword you have there boy," he complimented, his cheeks bulging as a snake left his mouth, before spitting out a sword. "However, my Kusanagi no Tsurugi has no equal."

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Domon looked green, as he backed away slightly, pointing at the enemy with a trembling finger. "Did that snake just come out of his freaking mouth?!" he yelled, eyeing the other two for answers. Recca nodded and moved to make the seals for a Karyuu Endan when Naruto stepped forward, holding out a hand.

"Aniki, Domon," the blonde stated, stepping forwards with a look in his eyes, "this one's mine."

"Are you crazy squirt?! We need to gang up on this guy!" Domon began until he saw the look on the blonde's face, the same look he'd worn while facing down Zabuza prior to being recognised by the Karyuu.

"Normally I'd agree," Naruto admitted, scowling at their freakish opponent, "but he insulted Tou-san's sword." The scowl became a grim smirk, "Gotta see if he can back up those words."

Domon looked ready to argue, but spotting the understanding on Recca's face grunted and stood down. "Just don't get yourself killed squirt." He grumbled, watching the blonde step forwards.

"Kukukuku," The grass Nin chuckled, licking his lips, "a kenjutsu battle?" He placed the flat of the blade against his palm, "Very well, I will comply."

Both swordsmen got into a stance and eyed each other, moving in a circle eyeing each other warily.

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Sasuke twitched from his position behind the other two members of his team, irritated at being left out. "What's…the dobe…doing?" he grunted, still woozy from the nin's jutsu, "He's wide open, he should-!"

"Mai…" Recca muttered, catching the Uchiha's attention, "It's what Mikagami refers to as Mai, the reach of the sword." Catching the look of confusion on Domon's face he elaborated, "Naruto's standing outside what he suspects is the limit of the freak's range."

The Enjutsu-shi smirked as he remembered the Hyomon-ken master's words.

_"Against a master, or unknown opponent, their range can be used as a barrier," Mikagami instructed, "always make sure you asses them from outside their mai...baka-saru."_

'Even in my head he's an ass.' Recca muttered, resisting the urge to pummel something as the Hyomon-ken master's voice trailed off.

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Naruto frowned, irritation wafting off him in waves as he ran his eyes over the Kusa-nin. 'No good, this guy's defense with that sword is tighter than a rock." The frown deepened, as he moved into a tighter stance, 'No choice...'

To the shock of all those watching, the blonde sheathed his sword, earning an understanding chuckle from the grass Nin.

"Surrendering so soon?" the freak taunted, a mirthless smile on his sickening features. Naruto snorted and moved into a drawing stance, causing the Nin to quirk an eyebrow. "Iai stance…a drawing match then?" His cheeks bulged again and the snake spat out a sheath for the blade, with a snake's head at the top.

"Tell you what," the Nin boasted, sheathing his sword with his eyes half shut, "I'll let you make the first-Hn!" The Nin jumped back, a cut on his cheek sending blood flying through the air.

"Nice," Recca whistled, tilting his head to the side, "the thing you used on the bridge?" he speculated.

"Hien Ken, the flying swallow cut." Naruto replied, scowling slightly at his opponent, "He's good though, I only landed one, and it was a scrape."

'Thirteen blows,' Sasuke growled, sharingan deactivating as he eyed the two combatants, 'and only one barely landed," he bared his teeth in anger, 'and without these eyes I'd have missed them all!'

The Kusa-nin rubbed his cheek, looking at the blood spilled, before smirking. "Well now…isn't this interesting?" he drawled. He rolled up his sleeve and rubbed the blood on a strange tattoo, a second later there was a massive explosion of smoke, and when it cleared he was standing on the head of the largest snake the leaf genin had ever seen.

"Eat them up, but don't touch the Uchiha." He hissed at the serpent, as it lunged at the others with a hungry gleam in its eyes.

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"WHY DOES EVERY FREAK WE BUMP INTO HAVE A THING FOR SNAKES?!?!" Domon shrieked as he leapt back, grabbing Sasuke as an afterthought, earning a starlted squawk from the Uchiha. "I MEAN SERIOUSLY, WAS THERE A SALE ON SNAKE SUMMONS?!?!"

Recca growled and considered summoning Setsuna but held back; for starters, he didn't want to show the dragons too soon into the game, and second, he didn't need the forest burnt to a crisp.

(Naruto, Domon,) he signed to his brother and rival, (Operation: Rope-a-dope!)

Domon smirked and hurled the Uchiha into the branches of a tree. "You stay there princess," he mocked, "let the real men handle this!"

Sasuke would have replied to this, but was currently hanging onto the branch for dear life, too startled to think of using chakra.

'Why are they leaving me out of the loop?' the Uchiha demanded, having not noticed the looks between the trio prior to his, undignified rescue, 'Why are they keeping me from fighting?!'

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'Where are they hiding?' the Kusa-nin muttered, eyes narrowed in irritation, as he pushed aside a branch that was in his way, 'Curse this forest, so many hiding places…'

"Oi! Freak-face!" Recca called out, a shit-eating grin on his face as the nin turned to look at him, "You naturally this ugly or d'ya take pills for that?!"

The massive snake lunged towards the teen, only for its head to tilt downwards as Domon slammed a fist into its skull in a haymaker. The momentum, enhanced by gravity, of the blow causing a massive dent to form in the serpent's cranium. "EAT SNOT YA REPTILE BASTARD!" the giant roared, rolling with his own momentum to disappear from view before the familiar had the chance to recover.

The grass Nin stumbled, trying to catch his footing on his mount, just as a blade stabbed him through the stomach from behind.

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"Game over." Naruto muttered, twisting the blade spitefully, only for his eyes to widen as the figure before him disappeared in a puff of smoke. 'Shit! Kage bunshin!' he thought, before the freak's tongue wrapped around his arms and chest, lifting him into the air.

"Well now" a sinister voice chuckled "so the Kyuubi-no-gaki still lives."

The skin around one of the grass Nin's eyes had peeled off, revealing a sinister golden orb surrounded by purple eye tattoos. Naruto felt something inside him twinge at the sight, before he felt his shirt being rolled up.

"You're a nuisance to me running around like this," the Kusa-nin muttered, rearing back a palm full of purple chakra, "so I'll have you sleep for now…Gogyofuuin!"

Naruto screamed as the grass Nin rammed his fingers into his stomach, before passing out from the pain, the last thing the blonde remembered hearing were the voices of Recca, Domon and, surprisingly, Sasuke, calling out his name.

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"NARUTO!!!" Recca roared as he leapt at the freak, eyes blazing as he prepared to summon Setsuna and flash-fry the bastard, forest fire or not. The Nin tossed the blonde off the snake, luckily from where Domon had been approaching, thus enabling the giant to catch his friend before he hit the forest floor.

"I'LL KILL YOU ASSFACE!!!" Recca shrieked as he tried to slug the man, only for him to suddenly dispel the summoning and use the smoke to disappear. "Where are you?!" Recca yelled, only to look up at Sasuke's cry of pain.

The Kusa-nin retracted his neck and smiled at the distraught team as the Uchiha howled and gripped his shoulder. "I am Orochimaru," he rasped out, "the giant snake." He leered at the scattered team 7 predatorily, an unholy light in those golden orbs. "If you wish to kill me," he goaded, "then pass this exam as quickly as you can!"

And with that said, the traitorous sennin walked backwards into a tree, and disappeared from their senses.

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Domon shivered as he felt Orochimaru's presence vanish, both glad and shaken at how easily they had gotten off.

"Dammit," the giant cursed, "he wasn't so creepy when I first saw him." He scowled and stared at his fist as it trembled at his side, "But now…" Noticing the look on his rival's face Domon shook his head quickly. "I ain't scared of him," he countered, "he just gives me the willies."

Recca snorted and landed beside a shrieking Sasuke, putting a hand on the Uchiha's shoulder. "Suck it up you pussy!" he chided, "One little bite and you…" he blinked in surprise, staring at the back of Sasuke's neck in confusion. "When did you get a tattoo?" Recca muttered dully, staring at the weird symbol on the avengers neck in confusion.

Sasuke couldn't answer on account of being unconscious, the kunai he'd attempted to hurl at the snake sennin falling from his limp fingers to the forest floor below.

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Naruto moaned and looked up in confusion, he was apparently inside his mindscape again, but there was something wrong. For starters, the trees in the forest looked withered and dying, the leaves blackened, and there was a strange, sickening energy in the air, which smelled faintly of snake oil and fouled meat.

"Tou-san!" he called out, wincing as his stomach heaved at the smell of decay. "Where are you?!"

"Naruto…" came the reply, "Are you harmed?"

Naruto spun round and sighed in relief at his father's unhurt appearance, the Youkai merely looking annoyed at the pollution of his dwelling space. "Tou-san…who WAS that guy?" the blonde muttered, referring to the grass nin, before shivering as a look of pure, unrefined loathing crossed his father's face, his fangs bared and tail ruffled in agitation.

"I'll never forget those eyes" the Youkai snarled, looking more animalistic by the minute, "the face may be different but those eyes are definitely his!" Kyuubi finally noticed the concern on his son's features and calmed himself, barely. "That man is known as one of the densetzu no sannin, the three legendary ninja's of Konoha; Hebi sennin Orochimaru." The centuries old demon snarled again, his fiery tail lashing out like a whip. "He's the bastard that took Noriko from me!"

Naruto's eyes widened, feeling the bottom fall out of his stomach. "He…killed kaa-san?" he whispered.

The fox-lord growled and lashed his tail again, causing a crack to form in the earth. "You should never have fought with him," he chastised, "you were nowhere near ready to face one of the sannin." He frowned at the blonde, silencing him in mid-outburst before elaborating. "They were Sarutobi's students, each capable of taking on a small army if they saw fit." The demon sighed and shook his head, almost wearily. "And Orochimaru was also Sarutobi's favorite."

Naruto flinched; caught off guard by that statement, unable to see the sennin's cruelty coming from the village elder. "But…Sarutobi-Oyaji…" he began, recalling everything he knew of the old man.

Kyuubi snorted, interrupting the blonde in mid-argument. "Sarutobi is many things, including a pervert," he smirked at this, "but he was a terrible judge of character, prior to Orochimaru's betrayal." The demon lord scowled, shaking his head bitterly. "He could have killed him years ago, but he let foolish sentiment get in the way."

Naruto nodded, understanding the sandaime's predicament all too well. 'I couldn't lift my sword to one of my own…not easily anyway.' He flinched as he remembered reading the names on the memorial stone. 'And Oyaji's already lost so much…'

"Enough reminiscing," Kyuubi cut in, "if you can't face him now, then we'll put the time he's unwittingly given us to good use." He held out a hand, summoning a nodachi from thin air before moving into a drawing stance.

Naruto nodded and moved into a similar drawing stance, eyeing his father and shishou cautiously.

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"We're off to a bad start Hanabishi." Domon grunted as he carried the two unconscious genin on his shoulders, "You sure we're gonna be alright like this?"

Recca scowled and leapt through the trees, Naruto's sword across his back as he took the point. "Dunno," he admitted, "we'll carry on with our original plan and set up camp near the tower."

Domon nodded, before he noticed the sky was darkening through the canopy, "We better find a place to camp;" he called out, shifting the weight on his shoulders slightly, "these two are starting to get heavy."

Recca grunted in acknowledgment and gestured to a specific tree not too far off. Two hours later they had secured the area around the roots of the tree, and were trying to catch their breath while waiting for their teammates to recover.

Domon winced as he rubbed his sore knuckles; the snake's scales had felt more like sandpaper than what he was used to from the reptiles, and he'd scraped all the skin off his knuckles by punching it. Recca was placing a wet towel over both Sasuke and Naruto's heads, playing the medic whilst Domon stood guard.

'This definitely ain't good' the giant rumbled, scouting the surrounding woodland like a cornered wolf, 'we're sitting ducks out here.' He flinched as something triggered his senses slightly, getting to his feet with a growl.

"Hanabishi," he called out warningly, "we got guests."

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Recca scowled as the sound genin team slithered out of the woodwork, looking far too smug for his liking.

"Heh…been standing guard all night?" Dosu asked, body tilted awkwardly, "Consider yourself off duty. Just wake up Sasuke-kun for us, we want to take him on."

"Whatever," Domon grunted "you want him, go right ahead." He stepped aside, pointing at the Uchiha invitingly, "Ain't no skin off our backs if the bastard croaks."

The sound team blinked and looked at the two rivals cautiously, looking for any sign of a trap. "Do you take us for fools?" Dosu muttered, "You've set traps up haven't you?"

"Maybe," Recca snorted, "but we really don't care about Okama-chan here," hje smirked at the shocked looks on their faces, "so wait until we're outta ear shot before the gang-banging starts, 'kay?"

The sound genin either blushed, (Kin) or looked disgusted, (Dosu and Zaku) at the flame user's words. "URUSEI!" Zaku yelled, pointing at him lividly, "I ain't into that!"

Dosu raised a hand, halting his teammates outburst with that single motion. "Calm down, we'll just kill all of them to be sure." he smirked at his teammate, "In their condition they don't stand a chance."

The three sound genin lunged forwards, only for a massive log to swing towards them. 'I thought so!' Dosu smirked, slamming his palm into the log and using his melody arm to shatter it. Unfortunately, he hadn't been expecting the hail of Kunai headed towards him. The bandaged genin used Kawarimi to switch with a piece of log and landed in front of the sleeping invalids.

"SHIT!" Recca yelled, turning only to dodge senbon from Kin, whilst Domon tried to flatten Zaku, shattering tree stumps as the smaller teen dodged his exhausted strikes.

Dosu was about to land a deathblow to the unconscious Uchiha when there was a flash of green and a foot collided with his jaw with the force of a wrecking ball.

"Konoha Senpuu!"

The bandaged Nin flew back into his teammates, who steadied him, all the while glaring at the new arrival. "Who the hell are you?!" Zaku yelled as Dosu tried to clear his head, before blinking in confusion at what he saw.

In front of the still shaken oto-nin stood a bizarre looking creature. It was dressed in a skintight green bodysuit with orange legwarmers, hair swept into a bizarre bowl-cut, and what appeared to be a pair of large bushy caterpillars on its face.

"I am Konoha's beautiful green beast!" the apparition exclaimed loudly, "Rock Lee!"

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Domon sweatdropped at the teen's comment, 'I'm grateful and all,' he muttered, shivering at the mere sight of the genin's leotard, 'but there's nothing beautiful about THAT.'

"Hanabishi-san," Lee called out, not taking his eyes off the sound team, "I know I promised to return the favour in the finals, however I believe it would be better to offer you my aid here." The green-clad genin stated, earning a smirk from the flame user.

"We COULD use a hand." Recca admitted, cracking his knuckles, "Sure, after this we call it even."

Domon grunted and cracked his knuckles in anticipation, "I'll take the ugly one." He began, grinning at his teammate expectantly.

Recca smirked, knowing this game and taking his queue. "No, I'LL take the ugly one!" the enjutsu-shi countered, causing Lee to blink in confusion.

"Which one's the ugly one?" the Gai-clone asked, unwittingly playing along with the rivals' little joke.

The sound team sweatdropped at their enemies' antics, irritated as hell. Kin was mumbling to herself at being included in the leaf nins' taunt, feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious whilst her two teammates fumed.

'They're mocking us.' Zaku growled between clenched teeth, before blinking as Dosu leapt forward, only to be sent skyward by a kick to the jaw. 'What the-?!'

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Recca blinked, shocked at their ally's incredible speed and agility, as he watched Dosu soar upwards. 'He's fast!' the enjutsu-shi thought appraisingly, 'I never saw that kick!'

'That's gotta hurt…'Domon muttered, wincing as he heard the sound genin's jaws clack together. He briefly wondered if the genin had swallowed a tooth due to the bandages covering his face.

Nobody noticed a pair of red eyes glaring at them from behind, hidden in the shade of the tree roots, twin tomoes spinning sinisterly.

"Omote Renge!"

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Lee's attack buried Dosu into the ground, only to be cushioned by a layer of soft soil conjured by Zaku's supersonic attack. "What a terrifying technique," the shaken oto-nin muttered in appreciation, "even landing on this soil pillow almost took me out!"

'Bandage's pal sent some sort of tremor though the earth, I felt it.' Domon muttered, eyeing their male opponents carefully, 'these guy's are the power houses on this team.'

Recca was sharing similar thoughts, staring at Zaku's palms warily. 'Lee's last attack would've shattered the freaks skull and spine,' he noted, 'these guys are good.'

"However," Dosu chastised, readying his melody arm, "relying on brute force is useless, not against ninjutsu specialists of our caliber."

"Yeah," Zaku agreed with a smirk, "we're gonna carve that Uchiha up like a turkey after we're done with ya!" he boasted.

"That a fact?"

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Recca and Domon spun round, blinking as Sasuke stood up, emitting a dark purple energy that made them feel like retching. "You losers having some trouble?" the Uchiha smirked, weird black lines all over his body, like flame tattoos. "These guys must be strong."

Zaku sneered, "Damn right we are, ya pansy!" holding his arms out in front of him in preparation for his Zankuha.

"Matte, Zaku!" Dosu yelled, recognizing the tattoos far too late. "Don't you realize what's going on?!"

"Zankuha!"

Domon grunted and leapt in front of Naruto and Lee, blocking the majority of the wind with his body, wincing at the cuts that landed. 'Nothing compared to Fuko training with Fuujin' he admitted, wincing as his ears twinged at the noise, 'but damn if it don't hurt my ears!'

Recca had taken cover as well, blinking at the apparent lack of the resident Avenger. 'Where's Uchiha?' he muttered, before a feeling of dread washed over him. He got his answer when Zaku was sent flying with a backhand to the jaw. The sound Nin then used his jutsu to counter a rapidly performed Housenka courtesy of the Uchiha, only to be cut by the hidden Shuriken. 'Hmmph…copycat.' Recca muttered, 'Must've been watching the fight with Orochimaru.'

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Sasuke grinned as he held Zaku's arms behind his back, looking eerily like the snake sennin as he tightened his grip, placing a foot on the struggling nin's spine. "Heh, you take so much pride in these arms of yours." He drawled, a sadistic grin on his face, "Better bid them farewell."

Dosu struggled futilely, cursing at his captor to let him go; only to collapse screaming in agony as the Uchiha dislocated his arms at the joints. Domon and Lee blinked in shock, before looking up from the stricken teen as Sasuke approached the other two sound nin.

"One down," The avenger muttered sinisterly, a disgusting leer across his face which caused Kin to back away in fear, only to collide with a tree trunk, "two to go."

"Snap the fuck out of it Uchiha!" Recca yelled, not liking the look on the teen's face, "We out number them! And we have wounded too!"

Sasuke snorted dismissively, clearly uninterested in what Recca had to say. "Like I care about the dobe," He scoffed, looking up at the remaining oto-nin, eyes full of bloodlust, "And like you could stop me!" He lunged towards Kin like a bat out of hell, causing the kunoichi to shriek and hurl Senbon, which he easily deflected.

'Too fast!' Recca muttered, preparing to summon Homura just as Sasuke stopped dead in his tracks, though not by choice.

Kin blinked, staring up in awe at the blonde that, until a few moments ago, had been unconscious. He was now standing in front of her and Dosu, his fist deeply embedded in the Uchiha's gut.

"Shut the fuck up..." Naruto growled, his bloodshot eyes streaked with veins, "You're giving me a headache with all this friggin' machismo…"

Sasuke gagged, spitting out drool and a little blood, before collapsing onto the blonde's shoulder out cold, the curse markings receding.

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Dosu scowled and looked around, trying to assess the situation to see if there was any way to salvage it. 'The giant is injured,' he noted, 'and the freak still looks unsteady after my last assault.' The leader of the sound genin eyed Recca and Naruto with a calculating expression.

'The brat with the tekko is an oddity, but the blonde looks as bad as the Uchiha' he nodded confidently and moved next to his remaining teammate, 'Kin and I should be able to…'

"You're despicable."

The assorted combatants looked up to reveal a longhaired youth with pale eyes and a cute girl with her hair in two buns and a pink Chinese shirt.

"The guy with the Moe Howard hairdo belongs to us." The male declared, veins showing around his eyes, "You hurt him, so you have to answer to us!"

'Dammit.' Dosu scowled, irritated at the untimely arrival of reinforcements. 'We have no choice…' Pulling out their scroll he tossed it to Recca, who raised an eyebrow.

"Obviously, in our current state we're no match for you all" the sound Nin muttered, "accept this as a token of admiration…and as reparation for your trouble." He scooped up the fainted Zaku and eyed them all warily.

"Allow us to depart," he asked, "it may be a lot to ask" he scowled at the memory of the Uchiha's curse seal, "but something bigger is afoot that merits better understanding." He looked at the collective leaf genin somberly, "Allow us to leave, and the next time we fight, it will be until a victor is decided."

Naruto nodded, making the decision before Neji could get a word in edgeways. "Get that guy's arms looked at." he muttered, "He'll be a sitting duck otherwise." Looking at the nervous form of Kin, the blonde nodded and waved at her. "Here, catch."

The kunoichi blinked and caught the sticks he tossed at her, looking up at him in confusion.

"Use 'em as splints." Naruto explained, eyeing the sound team as they scuttled off before clearing his throat. "One last question." he asked as an afterthought, "You're leader…is he called Orochimaru?"

Dosu and Kin froze and eyed the injured genin, who nodded, laughing sarcastically.

"Thought so," Naruto muttered, "next time you see him, I want you to give him this message:"

He glared at them, and the two shivered at the killing intent in his eyes alone as he half drew his katana.

"Tell him his freakish ass is mine."

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As the sound team left, their tails between their legs, Domon knelt over Lee, looking concerned. "You okay?" he muttered, shaking the teen's shoulder gently. Lee was still loopy after the last attack, and Domon considered pulling out some smelling salts from the medical kit he was lugging around until Tenten showed up, shaking her teammate like a rag doll until he awoke, much to the giant's shock.

"Honestly!" the weapons mistress chided as the Taijutsu specialist sat down. "What were you thinking, taking them on alone?"

"I was returning the favour to Hanabishi-san," Lee exclaimed defensively, "it was my duty as a man!"

Tenten moaned, exasperated with her teammates antics. 'Lee, that honour code of yours is going to get you killed one day!' she thought, shaking her head at her friend's actions.

"You two want some privacy?" Domon muttered, miffed at being ignored, causing Lee to blink in confusion and Tenten to flush scarlet and refute anything between the two other than being friends and teammates.

While this was going on, Neji analyzed the Uchiha's team from the sidelines, his pale eyes impassive, yet calculating.

'The one with the tekko hasn't displayed any special abilities, the giant is unusually sturdy…' He let his gaze run over the no. 2 Rookie and the unconscious Sasuke, the memory of their brief scuffle still in his mind. 'Uzumaki knocked the Uchiha out with one blow, moving quite fast for someone who just woke up.' He scowled at the unconscious Uchiha, his hackles on edge. 'Also…that chakra…'

"Oi! Freaky eyes!"

Neji blinked, caught off guard for a moment, before scowling at the blonde in irritation, miffed at the slur on his clan's Kekkei Genkai. "What?"

Naruto stuck a hand into his pouch, a tired frown on his face. "What type of scroll do you guy's need?" he asked, causing the Hyuuga to raise an eyebrow, a little intrigued at the question.

"Heaven," Neji admitted, "why do you ask?"

Naruto pulled out the heaven scroll they swiped from the rain Nin, offering it to the Hyuuga. "Both our teams have taken casualties," he explained, "and with the earth scroll there's no need for us to wait around in these woods."

Neji frowned, seeing what the blonde was getting at and accepting the simple logic. "I see," he muttered delicately, "a truce, in return for the scroll?"

Naruto grinned, a merry glint in his exhausted blue orbs. "You read my mind." he chuckled weakly, holding out the scroll.

The Hyuuga snorted delicately, before turning on his heel. "Try not to slow us down." he muttered, earning an annoyed grunt rom the blonde as he handed the scroll to Tenten.

'Something about this guy bugs me.' Naruto muttered, as he allowed Domon to carry him piggyback style, 'My Asshole-Detector hasn't been this sensitive since I first met Sasuke.' He shrugged it off and tried to catch some sleep, that little stunt he'd pulled earlier having drained his reserves.

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Well now, it would appear that Kakashi will be owing a certain someone money after all.

Kakashi: EH? but they came through it alive!

Kyugan: True, but you bet the whole team would get through it on teamwork, Sasuke wouldn't listen and said he didn't care about his teammates.

Kakashi: (Grumbles.) At least I don't have to pay YOU anything...who do I owe money to then. (Turns tround as Kyugan points behind him) Oh hell no.

Gai: YOSH! KAKASHI! MY YOUTHFULL STUDENTS HAVE SAVED YOURS! (Laughs loudly and annoyingly) BUT FEAR NOT, I SHALL PUT YOUR MONEY TO GOOD USE!

Kyugan: Yo, Gai? Those new green bodysuits are ready.

Kakashi: (Begins to twitch as Gai hands the money over in exchange for the abominable suits) ...a good use huh?

Gai: Of course! Look, my old one's getting a little snug, it's like I'm wearing nothing at all!

Kakashi: (Closes eyes tightly and shudders as Gai's last statement echoes in his skull.) ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!

Kyugan: Ah, I love my job.

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

O.k! As promised, yet another chapter of Hokage no Issan. YOUKO and GAIDEN lovers rest assured they will be updated as soon as I sort out a few loose ends, namely, discovering where I can stash Kakashi's body after I kill him.

Kakashi: (trussed up in chakra devouring manacles) You'll never get away with it!

Kyugan: Quit yer bitchin', (Whistles) Oi Anko, he's all yours!

Kakashi: (Screaming) DAMN YOU YOU SADISTIC BASTARD! TORTURE ME PROPERLY DAMMIT! (whipcrack) AIEEEEE

Anko: (Maniacal Laughter, even more whipcracks.)

* * *

Recuperation; the preliminaries begin!

With the aid of team Gai, Team Seven made it to the tower in record time, arriving scant minutes behind the Suna team, who had entered already and were currently resting in their room, Gaara having gone off to find some more blood to feed to his 'mother', needless to say, a lot of the janitorial staff would NOT be receiving their christmass bonuses this year.

After a tearful (Lee) farewell, they watched Gai's team disappear around the side of the tower, aiming towards their designated entrance, whilst Team 7 staggered through their own, looking decidedly worse for wear, Domon dragging a stubborn Sasuke by the shoulder.

Naruto sighed, still stiff from his fight with the snake sanin, not to mention the almost demonic pace that Gai's team had set in order to reach the tower prior to sunrise. "Man, Gejimayu and Tenten-san were okay," he snorted derisively, "but 'freaky eyes' needs to get that kunai out of his ass."

"Tell me about it," Domon grunted, looking annoyed at the mention of the stoic Hyuuga prodigy, "those eyes of his seriously creep me out."

Recca shrugged and pulled out the scrolls, frowning in thought as he looked around warily. "Well, we're at the tower," he muttered, looking over at his rival, "what do you say we take a peek?"

Domon, after some hesitation, opened the earth scroll, whilst Recca took the one marked with heaven. They both blinked at the sight of the kanji for 'humanity' in the center, thuroughly bamboozled.

'This layout…a summoning scroll!' Recca thought, slapping Domon's wrist at the first signs of smoke, causing the giant to yelp and the scrolls to fall in a heap on the floor. There was a burst of smoke, which caused the entire team to go on high alert, only to blink in surprise as the smoke cleared.

A chuckling Iruka sensei was smiling at them.

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"Well now," The chunin muttered, smile not leaving his face, "you three tied for second place with Gai's team, have to say I'm impressed."

The trio grinned at this and high-fived, whilst Sasuke scowled, gripping his shoulder to lessen the burning sensation caused by the curse-seal. "Who got here first?" he asked, trying to see who he had to surpass.

Iruka's face turned serious, remembering the debriefing he'd had earlier. "The Suna team," he recalled slowly, "they made it in just over an hour."

While Sasuke's face set into a deeper scowl, Domon let out an appreciative whistle. "Guess those sand guys know their stuff!" he praised, wondering if he could take a crack at them.

Iruka nodded grimly; casting a serious glare over his former students. "Exactly, so from now on, I want you all to be serious, this exam is ruthless…and I worry about you guys." He nodded at his favorite blonde horror, smiling gently. "Especially you, Naruto."

Naruto smirked at the chunin with his usual cheerful lack of respect, causing the chunin to blink in surprise. "The day I received my Konoha graduation Hitai-ate, I stopped being your student!" the blonde called out, causing the chunin to flinch slightly.

"There's no need to worry," the blonde assured Iruka, tapping his headband as if to clarify his last statement. "This is proof of my maturity…and I got it from you Iruka-sensei."

Locking eyes with the stunned chunin he continued, looking unusually serious.

"You know me better than anyone in this village," Naruto said solemnly, "so I won't tell you my personality's changed…but I'm not a kid!"

Recca smirked, patting the blonde on the shoulder in a comradely manner. "He's right," the en jutsu-shi agreed, "we're full-fledged shinobi of Konohagakure!"

Domon flexed an arm, grinning from ear to ear as he did so. "Just you watch Sensei!" the giant boasted, "We'll clobber these guys in your name!"

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Iruka looked shocked at his students' outbursts, before nodding, remembering Kakashi's words with a sad smile.

_'They are not your students anymore, they're my subordinates.'_

Iruka sighed, shaking his head sadly. 'Well Kakashi,' the scarred chunin thought sadly, 'it looks like it's you, not I, who know what these kids are capable of…'

Clearing his thoughts, Iruka pointed to the steps and nodded. "There are chambers for you to rest in at the top," he instructed with a smile, "feel free to use them."

Domon whooped at the idea of sleeping on a soft bed, and the tired team trudged up the steps to warm beds and safety.

Recca and Domon immediately began arguing over who got top bunk, whilst Sasuke secured the one nearest the window, far away from his annoying comrades, Naruto rolling his eyes and stealing the bunk while his brother and friend tossed up dust.

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Five days passed, and eventually all the teams finally arrived at the tower, and were summoned to the main area to assemble before the judges.

'Hime made it!' Recca exclaimed, waving at the blonde through the mass of bodies, 'And there isn't a scratch on her!'

Tokiya, noticing the loo on his one-time rival's face, frowned and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder, silently enjoying the look of outrage that crossed Recca's face, pointedly ignoring the warning look Fuko was shooting him.

Sasuke glared at the sound team, clenching his fists at his sides. 'Those guys made it,' he muttered, casting a dark look towards Gaara as he let his eyes roam, 'and that ghoul from the sand as well…'

Gaara glared back at the Uchiha disinterestedly, whilst Kurenai's team shot the redhead looks of fear, particularly Hinata, who took a step closer to Shino for security.

Domon gave Lee a thumb's up which the bowl-cut genin returned, before the giant turned his attentions to Fuko, who gave him a victory sign, sending the giant teen into raptures, almost flattening Naruto as he nearly keeled over.

"You really shouldn't be doing that." Yanagi chastised gently, staring at Domon as he apparently floated on cloud nine, causing Naruto to sweatdrop. Fuko merely smiled innocently and put a finger to her lips.

"I know," the fujin mistress agreed, making a kitty mouth, "but it's so much fun!"

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"Congratulation's to you all for passing the second Exam!" Anko greeted, looking none the worse for her run-in with her former sensei, other than being slightly paler if you took the time to notice.

Naturally, there was a chorus of mutters from her audience concerning her perky attitude, particularly from the prankster trio, who looked non-too-pleased that they hadn't seen the last of the psychotic jounin.

"And I thought we left her back at the start." Recca muttered, wincing as she leveled a glare at him, a snake slipping out from under her hand to hiss at him in anger.

"The lord Hokage will now explain the rules of the third exam." Anko called out, after causing the enjutsu-shi to scuttle behind his giant comrade, much to Domon's discomfort. The jounin actually felt proud of the youth's, since no other brats had the balls to mess with her and expect to get away with it. Also, sending Hyuuga Hiashi to the hospital as a result of dyeing his house pink had permanently earned the trio a position in her good graces.

Of course it would take a lot of alcohol and a libido like a steam engine to get her to admit this out loud.

After the Hokage's long-winded speech about 'wars in miniature' and 'honour of your respective villages at stake', which half the candidates managed to sleep through whilst standing up, the third proctor, who looked like he should have keeled over weeks ago, stepped forward.

"My name is (Cough) Gekko Hayate." He muttered, looking for all the world like a dead man walking, "I shall be the proctor for (cough) the preliminary rounds of the finals (cough-cough!)."

Yanagi and Hinata subconsciously shared a moment of concern for the sickly jounin, wondering if he should even be here in his condition.

Getting over his coughing fit, Hayate nodded and gestured to the digital scoreboard behind the statue. "The first match will be displayed on the board, be ready." He muttered between coughs, thanking Anko for patting him on the back as they subsided.

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Naruto swallowed and looked at the board, feeling ready for anything despite his condition, that is until he felt a pair of eyes on his back. Looking round to find the source of the gaze revealed the Hyuuga Heiress, who quickly looked away, flushing scarlet at being caught out.

'Her again?' the blonde wondered, staring at the shy kunoichi as she flushed and hid behind Shino. 'How does she manage to slip under my guard all the time?' he thought in a mild panic, 'she must be a master of stealth techniques!'

Meanwhile, said 'master' was twiddling her fingers and staring at the floor, feeling a warm little bubble form in her chest as she smiled. 'Naruto-kun passed too…I'm so glad!' She peeked at him shyly again and found he was looking in her direction, a curious look on his whiskered face.

'Naruto-kun…is looking at me!' she thought, feeling her face heat up, 'He…he does notice me!'

While all this had been going on, the first two names had appeared on the board.

"First match: Uchiha Sasuke vs. Akado Yoroi" Hayate coughed out, "Contestants, please step forwards."

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Recca frowned at Kabuto's masked teammate, not liking the way this was turning out.

'Sasuke's still acting kinda weird' he muttered, before shooting the shades wearing genin a wary look as they passed him, 'And this guy just doesn't feel right...he reminds me WAY too much of snake-perv.' He shoved these thoughts to the back of his head as they moved to the upper levels, smirking as he walked up to Mikagami.

"Guess you guys made it after all." Recca greeted the teen, Mikagami merely nodded, looking elegant as always.

"And you? I hear you tied for second," the swordsman ran a finger through his hair, "we got third."

The enjutsu-shi blinked, looking remarkably like a confused chimpanzee as he scratched his head. "Why didn't we see you around then?" he muttered, sounding suspicious.

"We stayed in our chambers to recover," was the teens reply, "Haruno was particularly drained after the trek through the forest." Mikagami scowled, looking down at the arena in annoyance. "How a useless waste of air like THAT became a shinobi I shall never know."

Sakura muttered to herself, whilst inside her mindscape, Inner Sakura was frozen in ice, the kanji for 'cold' and 'cruel' floating in the background.

Domon snickered, and was attempting to flirt with Fuko, until something caught his eye, causing him to stop in mid-compliment. "HEY!" he yelped, gawking at the arena, "Isn't that-?!"

Naruto scowled, teeth clenched as his fingers gripped the railing.

"Yeah," Recca muttered, "Lee's initial lotus."

"SHISHI RENDAN!"

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In the aftermath of his assault on Yoroi, a triumphant Sasuke smirked up at the assorted genin, a hand over his curse mark in order to suppress the pain.

'Hn…you see Naruto?' he boasted silently, 'this is the power of the Uchiha.' He winced, the after affects of the technique having drained him. 'Still, if Kakashi hadn't told me I'd be banned for using this…' the avenger thought, flinching again from the pain.

"That's enough out of you." Kakashi muttered, as he appeared behind the avenger, reading his ever-present book, "C'mon, we're going to get that curse mark dealt with."

Sasuke made a fuss about wanting to see the other matches, secretly hoping to swipe a few new jutsu's, but Kakashi's response was firm.

"I've already given you too much leeway, and it's only made you greedy." The cycloptic jounin muttered, eyes brooking no argument. The Uchiha snorted resignedly and allowed himself to be led away, sending a smirk over his shoulder at his glaring teammates.

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Up in the stands, said teammates were contemplating various ways to get back at the raven-haired teen.

"Bastard," Recca muttered as his eyes narrowed, "stealing Lee's technique."

Domon spat, his fists clenched with barely restrained anger. "Little bastard couldn't even pull it off properly," the giant growled "looks like he did a number on himself."

Naruto snorted, shrugging offhandedly. "What do you expect from a monkey?" he mocked, "All actions and no brains."

"DON'T INSULT SASUKE-KUN!" Ino and Sakura yelled in tandem, "HE'S THE GREATEST!"

"Yeah, the greatest at stealing other people's hard earned techniques." Naruto growled, turning to Lee with an apologetic expression on his face. "I know this probably doesn't mean much," he muttered, "but we're really sorry about this." he scowled as the Uchiha disappeared with Kakashi, snorting in disgust as they rounded the corner. "Guess he was watching during the fight with those sound guys."

Lee blinked once, twice, then to the blonde's shock, burst into tears, clenching a fist to his face. "NARUTO-KUN!" the Gai clone wept, "HOW COULD I TURN DOWN SUCH A HEARTFELT APOLOGY!"

"LEE!" Gai yelled, appearing next to his beloved disciple, "YOURS IS THE PINNACLE OF YOUTHFULL PASSION! TO FORGIVE SUCH WRONGDOING SO SWIFTLY!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

The assorted genin shivered as the sparkles caused minor seizures. Domon was quick to look away before he was traumatized, but the other teams weren't so lucky.

'That is just…so wrong…!' Fuko winced, turning greener than the duo's leotards, whilst Mikagami contemplated committing Seppuku just to get the image out of his head.

Yanagi, ever the odd one, had sparkles in her eyes as she clapped her hands together. "KAWAII-DA!" she exclaimed, earning looks of disbelief from the general populace.

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The second fight between Zaku and Shino resulted in the sound Nin being carried out on a stretcher, minus an arm.

Recca and Fuko shivered, watching the swarm return to their place of origin, namely Shino.

"That was too creepy." the flame wielder muttered.

"I never really liked bugs." Fuko added, shivering as the taciturn genin approached.

Domon swallowed, eyeing the stoic Aburame with trepidation. "Did freaky-eyes say they lived under his skin?!" he asked, looking about to see if he heard right.Fuko turned green and took two steps away from the beetle master, looking distinctly freaked out.

Kurenai sighed, grateful that there were others that shared her guilty feeling of unease. Shino was a nice boy, she'd admit to that wholeheartedly, but that didn't stop her from shivering at the sight of the bugs crawling back under his skin.

The stoic Aburame ignored them all for the most part, knowing it was only natural for people to react like that, really not giving a damn what they thought of him.

Therefore he was extremely surprised when Naruto tapped him on the shoulder, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"That was so COOL!" the blonde yelled, eyes wide and inquisitive, "How'd you do that?! Is it a Kekkei Genkai?!"

Shino, not used to being treated like that, could only nod his head as the blonde continued to ramble on about his apparent 'coolness'.

Hinata smiled at her crush, knowing how sensitive Shino really was to people's view of him, and marveling at how readily the blonde had accepted her stoic teammate.

'Naruto-kun…has a big heart.'

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The third round ended when Kankurou easily defeated Tsurugi with his Karasu puppet, much to the interest of the Konoha genin.

"Ganko's gonna be wanting one of those." Recca said with a smirk, before waving to Kurenai. "Can they be bought anywhere, or just in Suna?" he asked, looking at her hopefully.

Kurenai shrugged, not all that sure herself. "They were invented there," she explained, "it stands to reason that the best are to be found in Suna."

Recca cursed, hating the desert with even more passion than homework, before turning back to the arena as the next names popped up.

"Yamanaka Ino vs. Ishijima Domon." Hayate coughed out, actually bending over slightly from the action, "contestants please step forward."

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Domon gazed down at the blonde standing before him in the arena and smirked. 'This one's in the bag,' he predicted, 'she's just as bad as the pink haired freak…another of Uchiha's stalkers.'

"I won't lose to a big ape like you!" Ino said confidently, pointing at said 'ape' with her free hand on her hip, "I have to prove myself to Sasuke-kun!"

The giant rolled his eyes, sending Hayate an impatient look. "Can we get this started?" he muttered, "Before I kill myself just ta get away from all this crap?"

Hayate coughed, secretly agreeing with the giant's sentiments, and lowered his hand to signal the start of the match. "Begin!" he coughed, before heading over to the judges stands where a waiting medic handed him a glass of water.

Ino dashed forwards and used the bunshin jutsu to create three illusions of her, which swarmed the giant as she took the rear. 'Perfect!' she thought, grinning confidently, 'The big ape doesn't even know I'm here!'

Caught up in her apparent victory, the blonde kunoichi stabbed the giant in the back, only for him to vanish in a plume of smoke.

"WHA-! Where are you?!" she yelped, caught off guard, the infamous Yamanaka temper flaring at being tricked so easily, "Show yourself so I can kick your ass!"

"Go ahead and try." Came a guttural growl from behind her. Ino yelped and leapt forwards as Domon rammed a fist into the ground right where she'd been standing, only to scream as the resulting debris caused her to go flying backwards across the floor.

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The collective audience, including the sand team and judges, felt their eyes bulge at the size of the crater left by the giant's fist.

'HOLY!' Shikamaru swore, gripping the handrail in horror, 'If that monster lands one on Ino-!' He shivered and stared at his scared teammate, before sending a nervous glance towards the grinning Domon. 'Aw man,' the lazy genin moaned, 'and something tells me this guy's got no qualms fighting women!

'That strength…there was no chakra in that blow!' Sarutobi muttered, gripping his pipe between his teeth, 'Yet his strength rival's that of Tsunade!' He shivered at the memory of what his female student could do, Jiraiya's screams for mercy still echoing in the aged shinobi's ears.

'Heaven help us all if he ever learns her technique!'

Gai's eyes were incredibly wide, his eyebrows half hidden under his hair; which is no mere feat let me tell you. "YOSH! Kakashi my eternal rival!" he exclaimed, "You have produced a powerful warrior of youth!"

"Kakashi-sensei did squat." Recca muttered, leaning against the wall, grinning down at his rival in the arena, causing Gai to look at him questioningly. "Domon's ALWAYS been that strong," the teen corrected, "even BEFORE he joined the academy."

The collective shinobi, minus the giant's friends, blanched and eyed the giant warily, each sharing the same thought.

'Just how strong is he now?!'

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Ino gasped as she eyed the giant, who was lumbering towards her like a mountain on legs, before her face set in resolve. 'Dammit, he's strong…' she brought her hands up to her face, 'no choice…' She made a strange seal and smirked, leveling it at the giant.

"Shintenshin no jutsu!"

Domon blinked, thinking that nothing had happened, and was about to say as much when everything went blank.

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Recca raised an eyebrow, at the sight of the giant just standing there as the blonde kunoichi slumped over in an apparent faint. "Oi! What are ya waiting for Franken-dick?" He yelled, leaning over the railing, "Move your ass and clobber her! She's just sitting there!"

"Not a chance," Asuma smirked, lip curling around his cigarette. "Ino's jutsu was a success," he nodded down at the arena, "she's in charge of the big guy's body now."

As if to clarify this, Domon raised his arm and said he wanted to forfeit, earning a plethora of insults from Fuko, which were promptly ignored.

"Okay, what's happening here?" Recca muttered, "Domon couldn't ignore Fuko if his life depended on it, what'd that girl do?"

"The Shintenshin no jutsu; a jutsu created and passed down throughout Ino's family." The smoking jounin explained, "Basically, the user plants their mind into the target's body, and controls it like their own."

Recca looked at the jounin, a deadpan expression on his face. "Lemme get this straight," he stated, "She's trying to take over Domon's body?"

Asuma nodded, before shivering at the scary looking grin that covered the teen's face, actually taking a step back in his shock.

Fuko smirked and leered down at the arena, wishing she had some popcorn with her.

'Oh yeah,' she thrilled, 'this is gonna be GOOD!'

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Ino smirked as Hayate asked if she was certain about the withdrawal, and was about to reply when something made her pause in mid sentence, namely a fist ramming into 'her' jaw.

"Wha-what?!" she sputtered, staring at 'her' hands in shock, before freezing as she heard a deep, rumbling growl in the back of 'her' head.

It sounded like something you found at the end of long, dark caves with bones littered outside, the type no sane person would even consider approaching without a small army and possibly a tactical nuke. Primitive men had probably heard that noise and stayed huddled together in case it came too close.

'Blonde bitch!' the voice roared, 'Get the hell outta my body!'

Ino froze as Domon's voice echoed through her head, causing her to spin the giant's body round to try and find the source. "H-how are you still conscious!" she yelped in Domon's voice, "You should be completely subdued!"

Another punch rammed into 'her' face, causing her to yelp in pain as she felt the giant's teeth rattle from the blow. 'Does this feel subdued to you?!' Domon roared, launching another blow into their jaw and causing the blonde to cry out in pain as it caused them to stagger.

"Knock it off!" Ino yelled, terrified out of her mind, as nothing like this had ever happened before. The pain from the blows were excruciating, since Ino was always one to avoid physical confrontation if she could help it.

But the worst part was that the blonde kunoichi knew that her own body was suffering from the pain as well, one of the nasty side-effects of her family's jutsu, and knowing that she wasn't anywhere near strong enough to keep taking blows like that, she decided to go for a bluff.

"You're only hurting yourself!" she boasted, her voice proud as ever, "Go ahead and knock yourself out! I'll just switch back to my own body!"

The growling in the back of her mind was the only warning she got that the giant either hadn't bought it, or was going to call her bluff regardless.

Screaming out in fear, Ino quickly cancelled the jutsu, just as Domon slammed a fist into his own face with enough force to down a Clydesdale, cart and all. The blonde kunoichi's body flew backwards into the wall of the arena, black and blue and with a bleeding nose, her jaw swollen to twice its size.

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"What the heck just happened?!" Shikamaru yelled out, staring at his teammate in surprise as Domon righted himself. Recca merely grinned, not looking away from the fight.

"Mess with the bull, you get the horns," the teen snickered, eyes glittering with manic humor, "and Oni no Domon's a thousand times worse than any old bull."

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"Wha-what the hell are you?!" Ino shrieked, holding her jaw, and pointing at the giant in fear and rage, "Punching yourself like that…are you crazy?!"

Domon snorted, his face relatively undamaged, despite the blows it had suffered. "If there's one thing fighting with Hanabishi's taught me," the giant rumbled, "its to watch your opponent no matter what." He smirked, pointing at the blonde with a savage glint in his eyes. "After the first blow, I saw your body rock slightly, and I figured whatever happened to you in MY body happened to yours!"

Ino winced, as he stepped forwards, grinning insanely.

"Only difference is," the giant smirked, cracking his knuckles, "I'm a lot more used to taking blows to the head."

The blonde kunoichi shivered as he continued to step towards her, before gathering the remains of her shattered resolve, gritting her teeth and pulling out a kunai. "Y-you won't beat me!" she yelled, climbing to her feet, "I can still-!"

Domon dashed forwards in a blur of motion and launched a punch at the blonde; causing Ino to snap her eyes shut out of fear as she braced for the impact.

An explosion of smoke and plaster echoed around the tower, blinding everyone. When it eventually cleared however, team ten's eye bulged out of their sockets, along with everyone except the Giant's friends.

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Ino tentatively opened her eyes to see that Domon's fist had missed her head by a hair's breadth. Though initially glad at the fact, she became distinctly aware of the looks everyone seemed to be leveling at her, or more accurately, at the wall behind her.

'What're they…where's that breeze coming from?'

The Yamanaka turned her head to see what everyone seemed to be staring at, but nearly wet herself at what she saw.

There was a hole in the wall the size of her house, the epicenter just to the left of her head. It was clear to all those watching that if Domon had been so much as a fraction of a millimeter closer…Ino's skull would have gone the way of the wall.

The girl collapsed, shocked out of her gourd, trembling in fear and outright humiliation at the absolute defeat.

Hayate stepped forwards quickly, eyeing the destruction caused by the larger genin with wide eyes. "I'm calling this match due to the obvious difference in skill," he coughed, "Winner Ishijima Domon!"

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Recca smirked at a stunned Asuma, as his rival helped carry the shell-shocked blonde up the steps to her teammates, bridal-style. "Domon's mental strength is as strong as his body," the teen explained, "he may be simple, but he ain't stupid." He grinned as the giant set the girl into her sensei's arms and walked back to sit against the wall. "That's the mistake lot's of people make."

Asuma shivered and eyed the grinning giant warily, as he set his female charge against the wall. 'Ino sure as hell won't make that mistake again.' He thought dully, shivering at the damage done to the wall. 'Neither will I for that matter…'

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The fifth round, Temari and Tenten's fight ended in Lee's teammate being escorted out on a stretcher, much to the boy's dismay. Shikamaru, despite all his procrastinating, quickly won the sixth match against Kin, the sound Kunoichi leaving with a minor concussion.

(That Kagemane's a real doozy, better watch out for this guy.) Recca signed to the other two, who nodded, before Domon blinked, tapping Naruto on the shoulder.

"Squirt, you're up next."

Naruto looked at the board and smirked humorously. "Well now, the puppy pair…" he began before something caught his ear, namely Kiba heckling him.

"OI! UZUMAKI!" the Inuzuka yelled, cupping his hands to make his voice echo, "Get your midget ass down the steps, unless you're a coward!" he sneered, Akamaru howling alongside him.

Naruto froze, a dark aura hovering behind his head that made his teammates shiver.

'Oh… shit.' Domon muttered, eyeing his blonde teammate warily, 'Dog boy should NOT have said that…'

Kurenai shivered at the steel like glare in the blonde's eyes, before casting a wary glance at her student.

'Kiba,' she thought worriedly, 'this mightn't go as well as you thought…'

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Kiba grinned, as he watched Naruto come down the steps, assuming that the blonde was trying to delay the inevitable. "Wahoo! We scored big time Akamaru!" he yelped, his puppy barking in response, "We can take this guy!"

Naruto said nothing as he walked into the arena, merely looked at the proctor inquisitively. "Is he allowed to use that dog?" he asked, thumbing at Akamaru, who growled in response.

Hayate coughed, nodding his head slightly in affirmation. "Animals used in a shinobi's art are considered part of a ninja's equipment," the proctor explained, "the same as bugs and your katana."

The blonde genin nodded, before looking at Kiba with a serious expression on his face. "Call off your mutt Kiba," he warned, face serious, "I don't want to hurt it."

The Inuzuka grinned, displaying the sharper than normal canines of his family in a very dog -like laugh. "HA! Like you could even touch us!" the teen yelled, lunging at the blonde only to receive a blow to the back that caused his to ram face first into the wall.

"What th-?!" Kiba cursed, covering his nose, and whirling round to spot Naruto standing ten feet behind him.

"You must have been looking at an afterimage." The blonde muttered, "I haven't been standing there for about…ten seconds."

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"Afterimage?" Kurenai blinked, "I see! He moved so fast it left an image on the retinas!"

"Indeed." Kakashi nodded, startling Domon with his sudden reappearance, miraculously not reading his porn, though it was more due to a run-in with Orochimaru than respect for the genins' skill.

"Where the hell have you been?" Recca wondered, eyeing the jounin suspiciously. Kakashi merely smiled suggestively at the teen and gazed back at Naruto, before continuing his explanation.

"Its a variation of the bunshin no jutsu," he noted, "but it relies more on high speed movement than chakra, VERY difficult to pull off accurately."

The jounin frowned, eyeing his blonde student carefully. 'But just where did Naruto pick up THAT little trick?' he muttered, knowing that he hadn't exactly been paying much attention during the blonde's periods of training in wave country, but would have spotted anyone talking to them within a matter of minutes.

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Hinata was gazing at the duo with mixed emotions, torn between love and camaraderie.

Kiba was her friend and teammate, so she felt obligated to cheer for him, but on the other hand…how could the gods be so cruel as to pit her crush and her friend against each other?

(Yeah Kishimoto-sensei! Answer that huh?!)

'Naruto-kun…' she whispered, touching a finger to her lip in an attempt to ease her concerns, 'I-I don't know…what to do…'

Hyuuga Neji however, was far more interested in the Blonde's movements than the affect the fight had on his cousin.

'I almost couldn't follow him with the Byakugan," He wondered, activating his eyes to get a better view of the action, '…almost won't be good enough though.'

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Kiba growled, pulling something out of his pocket and chomping down on one. "Akamaru! Catch!"

The puppy caught the soldier pill in his mouth and promptly turned red, snarling at its blonde opponent. "Here we go!" Kiba yelled, as the puppy leapt on his back, "Jujin Bunshin!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the two feral looking Kibas, as the effects of the pills began to sink in. "Very intimidating," he muttered, before smirking confidently, "for a pair of mutts."

The Kiba duo snarled ferally, before lunging towards their opponent, spinning in mid-air as they did so.

"GATSUUGA!"

The blonde's eyes widened as he was hit by what felt like twin tornadoes with claws and fangs, buffeted through the air until he landed on the ground, HARD, causing Hinata to wince.

Kiba landed on all fours, looking over is shoulder at the prone form of Naruto. Snorting dismissively, he waved at Hayate, ready to declare his win to the world.

"OI! Proctor!" he thumbed at the fallen jinchuuriki, "He's finished-eh?"

Naruto was standing up, the sleeves of his kimono jacket ripped off from the attack. The blonde's arms were covered in cuts, which were bleeding lightly, but otherwise he looked unscathed.

"Damn hounds" the blonde growled, bangs covering his eyes, "your attack certainly isn't lacking in strength…but that's it." He glared at the duo with his slit-pupiled eyes, causing Akamaru to whine slightly as the red halo flashed briefly.

"I cannot be beaten…by DOGS."

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Kiba shivered at the sheer animosity in the blonde's eyes, wondering how in the hell the teen had managed to block the Gatsuuga with his bare arms. "You," he began warily, "are you really Naruto?"

The blonde snorted in reply, lip curling sarcastically as he locked gazes with his startled opponent. "When I first joined the academy," Naruto recounted, "you used to pummel me into the ground, you AND your mutt." He smirked at the look of surprise that crossed the Inuzuka's face, before cracking his neck joints. "I still owe you for that."

Kiba snorted, and moved onto all fours again, his usual confidence returning in spades at the brief assurance that it really WAS Naruto, not some supped up evil twin or whatever. "Yeah well keep dreaming! C'mon Akamaru!" he roared, charging forwards on all fours, only to pause when his pet didn't comply.

Skidding to a halt and looking over his shoulder, caused the Inuzuka to cry out at the horrifying sight that met his eyes.

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Kakashi felt his eye widen in shock, whilst beside him, Hinata and Kurenai cried out at the scene, completely caught off guard. 'Naruto!' the copy-nin gasped, staring at the blonde in disbelief. 'You didn't!'

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Another Naruto held a bloody sword over the fallen form of Akamaru, the puppy lying in a pool of it's own blood on the arena floor.

"Akamaru!" the distraught Inuzuka yelled, staring at the scene in horror. Naruto calmly shook his head, as if the scene didn't mean anything to him.

"A shinobi's tool is easily broken," the blonde quoted, "if not utilized properly."

Kiba spun round, teeth bared in a feral snarl as he hurled himself at the real blonde, guided by his rage and enhanced sense of smell.

"BASTARD!!!"

To his surprise though, instead of stepping aside like he'd been expecting, Naruto dashed forwards and dodged the irate genin's strike by leaping up in the air, hovering over the Inuzuka's head. As Kiba blinked at the apparent disappearance of his target, the blonde grabbed his sword hilt and scowled.

There was a flash of motion and Kiba's head impacted with the ground so hard it was buried in it to the neck, knocking the distraught teen out cold as a silence fell over the audience.

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Naruto landed on his feet, sheathing his katana slowly. "Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryu: Ryutsuisen." The blonde muttered, eying the fallen genin with an apologetic look. "He won't wake up until tomorrow," he explained to the proctor, "but when he does…"

The clone vanished with a puff of smoke, revealing an unharmed, hog-tied Akamaru, who was whining at his master from his position on the floor.

"Tell him I apologize for the trick." Naruto muttered, making for the arena steps.

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Hinata smiled at her love interest as he drew closer, the warm bubble in her chest having grown from the minute he dropped the illusion. 'I knew Naruto-kun wouldn't do something like that!' she thought, smiling at the blonde behind his back, while Kurenai eyed him with interest.

'Maybe…he ISN'T the monster people make him out to be…' the recently promoted jounin conceded, deciding that what little she knew of the teen needed to be reevaluated, BIG TIME.

Kakashi frowned, intrigued by this latest development in the game. 'He hit the boy with the flat of the blade,' he recalled, as if replaying the scene in his mind, 'so fast I didn't see it.' He looked down as the medics final succeeded in prying Kiba's head out of the floor and carried him off on a stretcher. 'That's no ordinary sword technique.'

Neji was scowling from irritation, not liking the way things were turning out. 'Even with these eyes, I only saw the blow when it landed…not when he drew the sword."

The Hyuuga prodigy scowled in thought, eyeing the blonde warily as he rejoined his teammates.

'Just how fast IS he?!'

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Domon and Recca grinned at their blonde compatriot, as he walked up to them. "Thought you'd bought it there, but you blocked with your arms." Recca commented, wincing at the cuts, "Man those look nasty…"

Naruto was about to wave him off when he felt someone appear out of the corner of his senses, causing him to spin round in surprise.

Hyuuga Hinata blinked as her crush spun round to face her, blue eyes widening as he took in her appearance. "Ano…Naruto-kun…" she stuttered, holding out a pot of salve, and flushing magenta, "h-here…for your wounds…"

Naruto raised an eyebrow, assessing her carefully as he'd been taught. 'I just clobbered her teammate…shouldn't she be looking after him?' he looked at her trembling hands, 'Also…why does she look so nervous?'

He frowned in thought, his complete inexperience with women leading him, yet again, to the wrong conclusion.

'Poisoning me this late in the game would be pointless,' he admitted, staring at the decidedly nervous kunoichi, 'what's her game?'

He blinked as Kurenai prompted him to take it with a sigh and a tap on the head, muttering something about thickheaded blondes. Said blonde nodded and placed his hand around the pot, unwittingly brushing the trembling girl's hands with the tips of his fingers. "Arigato, Hyuuga-san…no," he frowned briefly, "Hinata-san was it?"

The heiress flushed, both from his thanks and the feel of his skin against her own, before looking away shyly, leaving the medicinal salve in the teen's hand.

"H-hai."

Naruto raised an eyebrow in confusion, completely at a loss concerning the girl's actions; behind him Recca, Domon and Fuko snickered, eyeing the two mischievously.

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Fuko won her match against Sakura hands down, nailing her shrieking teammate to the ceiling with several well-placed senbon.

This led to a MINOR intermission between rounds, since the tower roof was quite high and the shrieking kunoichi was too terrified to listen to orders and almost fell before Kukai managed to grab her by the ankle.

Needless to say, the girl spent the rest of the preliminaries with her former best friend Ino, lounging in a hospital bed to get over the shock.

Mikagami and Saicho's duel ended in a forfeit on Saicho's behalf, the weak hearted genin feeling his condition would be a liability, especially as Mikagami hadn't summoned his Ensui into the battle.

Kabuto won the next round by default when Yanagi forfeited, knowing her limits and simply glad to have gotten that far, but the bespectacled genin then shocked the audience by dropping out himself.

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"What the hell? Guess he really does suck…" Recca muttered, watching the bespectacled silver haired genin walk away, while Naruto was praising Hinata's concoction as it healed all the scrapes and cuts off his arms, offering some to Domon for his jaw.

'Next up it's either me, the guy from the sand,' recca frowned in thought, 'sound boy, Chouji, Lee or…' he blinked, realizing something that had been bugging him from the start. "Hey," he wondered aloud, "aren't we a genin short?"

Kakashi shrugged, looking disinterested but willing to bestow a little wisdom upon the ignorant masses. "In these cases," the jounin explained, "the lucky one gets seeded, he passes through to the next round via luck of the draw."

"Sweet!" Recca grinned, eyeing the board with his fingers crossed. "Hope Lee's up next!"

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Halfway through the match between Lee and Gaara, Recca was regretting the jinx he'd inadvertently cast on their colleague.

"Me and my big mouth." He moaned as Lee barely dodged another volley of sand, the Lotus having stripped him of his usual speed and agility. "That should be me down there." The enjutsu-shi muttered, wincing as another wall of sand rammed the bowl-haired ninja into the wall.

Gai smirked, eyeing the hotheaded genin with warm eyes. "You concern is refreshing," he said gratefully, "but relax, the Adorable Lee-kun isn't about to lose yet." He smiled down at his protégé and the green-clad genin suddenly blurred into Motion, causing the assorted on-lookers to blink in confusion.

"Gai…don't tell me you…" Kakashi muttered, frowning as his self-proclaimed 'Rival' nodded.

"On the contrary," Gai corrected, "I DID."

Kakashi looked at the Taijutsu specialist for a moment, before sighing, looking oddly disappointed. "I don't care what you saw in the boy," he lectured, "the Ura-Renge should never be taught to genin!"

Team seven blinked, confused as the argument between the jounin leveled off.

"Ura…" Domon muttered.

"Renge?" Naruto finished, frowning in concern down at Lee. "Gejimayu has another one of those attacks?"

Kakashi shook his head, deciding to let things run their course. "How many of the gates can he open?" he muttered, only to blink as Gai smirked, obviously pleased with his pupil.

"Five." The Taijutsu specialist said proudly, grinning at the look of shock that crossed his rival's face, just as Lee's chakra skyrocketed.

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The genin watched enawed as Gai's student punted Gaara through the air like a demented volleyball player, using his hands, feet, and sheer speed to chip away at the redhead's armor of sand.

'This is…INSANE!' Mikagami muttered, his normally calm visage giving away to shock, 'The human body wasn't meant for this level of power!'

As if to clarify this, Kakashi winced, his sharingan spinning as it recorded the youth's movements to the letter, including the damage it was doing to the teen's unprepared frame. 'His muscles just snapped…' the jounin winced, enawed at how far the teen had gone in order to defeat Neji.

Naruto, Domon and Recca were cheering their friend on with cries of encouragement, just as Lee yanked Gaara up into the air for the final blow.

"URA-RENGE!"

Domon whooped as Gaara shot towards the ground, before blinking as he noticed something moving just behind the redhead. "Oi!" he yelled, "What the heck's that?!"

Mikagami frowned as cries of disbelief filled the stadium, casting an appraising look at the weakened Gaara. 'The gourd was made from sand as well,' the swordsman muttered, 'very clever.'

The assorted genin winced as Lee's screams at the crushing of his limbs echoed around the tower. Team seven moved to leap into the ring and save their bushy-browed friend, until Gai interfered, disqualifying the teen and saving his life.

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Recca trembled in rage as the medic's words echoed in his mind, causing him to clench his teeth and fists in anger. 'Dammit!' he cursed, 'I shoulda been the one fighting that freak!' He clenched his fist, tight enough to cause blood to drip onto the floor. 'If only I'd-!'

Kakashi laid a hand on the teen's head, calming him with a look. "Don't blame yourself," the jounin muttered, "if things were reversed, Lee would be feeling the same right now."

The jounin sighed, shaking his head sadly at the looks of pain on his students' faces. "To Sasuke, Neji…and you three…" he explained, "to fulfill the silent promise you made to each other, he put his life at risk, to make it to the finals with you all." The copy-nin viewed his remaining students with a solemn look in his visible eye as he nodded, walking back to the steps.

"Never forget that."

The trio lowered their heads in respect, fists clenched as they looked up at one another. "Hanabishi," Domon muttered, placing a hand on his rival's shoulder, "there's still the next round…you can make it up to him there."

"And Yanagi-neechan can always heal Gejimayu." Naruto pointed out, nodding towards the worried girl.

Recca nodded, before blinking in confusion. "Wait, next rounds between either, Dosu, Chouji, Freaky-eyes or Naruto's girlfriend, right?"

Naruto choked, flushing magenta, a similar shade covering the Hyuuga heiress' face as she overheard the comment. "Girlfriend?!" The blonde squawked, looking hysterical as he waved his arm in a panic, "What are you-?!"

"Next match, Hyuuga Neji versus Hyuuga Hinata." Hayate coughed out, sending an amused glare towards the trio, "Could you three please clear the arena?"

The trio blinked, looking completely gob-smacked, as crickets chirped in the wake of Hayate's last announcement. "Wait…" they muttered simultaneously, "freaky eyes is related to Hinata?!"

The audience sweatdropped, Neji suppressing a twitch as a vein bulged over his eyebrow at his nickname.

"Ano," Kakashi muttered, eyeing them in exasperation, "You didn't notice they have the same eyes?"

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Well that's most of the preliminaries out of the way, all that's left is the fianl fights and the resulting match-ups.

Kakashi: (Covered in whip burns) You're a monster!

Kyugan: (holds up a projectile tazer and aims at Kakashi) Shut up, bitch, (Pulls triger, sending two-thousand watts into the jounin)

Kakashi: (Electrified) GYAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH! (electricity goes off/ crack fizzle)

Kyugan: Hey Anko, you order original recipe or extra crispy?!

Anko: I like it spicy!

Kyugan: Right! Hiruma! Get the turbo charger!

Hiruma: YA-HA!

Kakashi: mommy...

* * *


	16. Chapter 16

I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!! Cough-hack(Waves duist out of the air) eh? where am I? How long've I been asleep?

(looks in corner, see's a dust covered Kakashi mummy (Wrinkly skin+bones)

Kaka-mummy: (moans throatily)

Kyugan: Ah suck it up, wuss. (pops open a can of cola) Anyway, long story short, never go on hoiday without you laptop, no matter what airport security tells you.

Gai: FIGHT THE POWER!

KYugan: What the hell're you doing here? (sighs) screw it, roll camera.

* * *

Byakugan battle; vow for victory!

Hinata winced as her cousin entered the arena ahead of her, trying not to look into his eyes if she could help it. Neji on the other hand, had no such qualms and was glaring at his cousin with mild indifference.

"I never dreamed we be fighting each other…Hinata-sama." The older Hyuuga commented, though he didn't put much emotion into it. Hinata flinched and brought her gaze up to meet her cousin's.

"N-Neji…Niisan…"

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"Damn!" Naruto yelped, his eyes widening as he leaned over the rail in shock, "He's her Aniki?!"

Kakashi shook his head, contradicting the blonde's assumption. "They both are members of Konoha's oldest, most illustrious family," he explained, "through whose veins flows the most elite and accomplished blood, the Hyuuga clan…but they aren't siblings."

Gai nodded, picking up the slack. "You see," he explained, "Hinata is the oldest daughter of the main house of the Hyuuga family, whilst Neji is a member of the branch family that supports them."

"I get it!" Recca nodded, tapping a fist into his palm as he had an epiphany, "Like kagemusha and all that, right?"

Kakashi and the other leaf jounin winced, the genin having inadvertently hit the head closer to home than they cared to admit.

"Either way," Gai continued, "there's a lot of bad blood between the main and branch families…it has to do with rules set up which favored the branch family."

Domon was about to ask the Taijutsu expert to clarify when a loud grinding noise caught his attention.

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Naruto's teeth were bared, his eyes like flints, as he glared down at the arena as Neji continued to belittle Hinata, undermining her fragile self-confidence.

"I've seen through many things with my Byakugan," the older Hyuuga muttered to his stricken cousin, "and so I know this attempt at courage is merely a bluff! You want, more than anything, to flee from here!"

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"Byakugan?" Recca asked, looking up at his sensei in confusion. Kakashi nodded, looking down into the arena again.

"An inherited Kekkei Genkai of the Hyuuga clan," the jounin explained, "they say even Sasuke's sharingan can trace its origins back to the Hyuuga Byakugan…"

Domon groaned, rolling his eyes in exasperation as he raised his hands in the air. "Great!" he muttered, "More copycat vision?"

The jounin sweatdropped at the slur but let it slide. "No, they can't copy jutsu…" Kakashi explained, "but in it's penetrating perceptive ability…the Byakugan actually SURPASSES the Sharingan!"

Recca and the others swallowed, before wincing at the veins around the older Hyuuga's eyes as they bulged.

'Looks like he's really pissed off,' Naruto muttered, feeling the whirling emotions under Neji's impassive face, 'but there's no killing intent or rage emanating from him.'

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"My eyes cannot be deceived." Neji muttered, glaring at his cousin, "Just now, when you averted your eyes to escape my stare, you looked to the upper left, signifying you recalling a painful experience from your past."

He paused for effect as his cousin trembled, "Consequently, when you gazed to your lower right, you were envisioning physical and mental agony, in other words, you recalled your own memories, and from them you imagined the outcome of this match!" He glared at her, veins bulging at the side of his eyes.

"You foresaw your own defeat!"

Naruto's grip on his katana tightened, causing the joints to pop, the sheath trembling, as Neji continued his mental assault.

"Even now, you try to shield yourself with your arms, your body language wanting to place a barrier between us, whilst you implore me to peer no deeper into the recesses of your heart."

Hinata was a trembling wreck now, tears actually falling down her face as she touched her trembling lip with a finger, causing her cousin to smirk.

"Touching your lip, another defensive reflex," he noted, "a pitiful attempt to calm your own anxieties." He pointed at her, a look of confidence on his face. "It's perfectly clear to both of us, whether you admit it or not…that you know you cannot change yourself!"

CRASH!

The Two Hyuuga, and everyone in the stadium, jumped as another massive hole appeared in the wall, nowhere near as colossal as Domon's, but large enough to allow a man to run through.

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Naruto growled as he sheathed his sword, having used it to damage the wall behind him.

"How long are you gonna keep talking with your ass?" he snarled, eyes like slits, "Hinata has as much right to be here as anyone else! If you don't cut the psychological shit right now…"

He scowled at the older Hyuuga, pushing the blade of the katana out slightly with his thumb.

"Your married life is going to be VERY boring."

Neji shivered at the animosity being launched at him from the blonde. 'His eyes' the prodigy muttered, 'I've only seen those eyes on serious men.' He scowled as one face in particular crossed his vision.

'Men like Hiashi-sama.'

Hinata blinked, shocked at the blonde's unexpected, but most appreciated support.

"N-Naruto-kun…"

"Hinata!" the blonde cut in, gazing down at her, "Forget everything this dickless wonder just said to you!" he growled, causing the heiress to squeak in embarrassment and Domon to guffaw loudly, "You're not weak and you don't wanna run!" He smirked down at her, nodding confidently. "If you were, would you have lasted this long?"

Naruto winked at her, doing Lee's nice guy pose as he did so, sending Gai into peels of delight. "Show this guy," he frowned and shook his head, "no, show everyone what you're made off!"

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Hinata blushed at the genin's encouragement before lowering her head.

'…Naruto-kun,' she thought, placing a palm over her heart in joy, 'arigatou…'

When she raised her head, her face was as impassive as her cousin's, and her eyes held new resolve.

Neji frowned, irritated at the effect of the blonde's speech. "You won't withdraw?" he asked, looking calm and reserved as always.

To his shock, Hinata lunged forwards and he was forced to dodge a palm strike to the chest that would no doubt have incapacitated him.

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Gai smiled, watching over the duo proudly. "She is definitely of the main house," he commented, "look how her stance is identical to Neji's."

Mikagami frowned, eyeing the fluid motions appreciatively. "They both use the same school of Taijutsu?" he wondered out loud, "What is it called?"

"Jyuken," Gai replied, "And only the Hyuuga may learn it, it is a style unique to their clan alone."

The two Hyuuga proceed to land strike after strike at each other with their bare palms, though those of jounin rank or higher could sense the air being disturbed by bursts of chakra whenever their palms collided. A particularly hard blow to the chest caused Neji to stumble back slightly, looking annoyed.

"Did she get him?" Domon asked hopefully, whilst Mikagami snorted in dismissal.

"No, just a grazing blow." The swordsman muttered, unimpressed.

Gai smirked, looking down at the heiress with pride. "And yet," he noted, "a grazing blow is all it would take."

Noticing the looks of confusion, Gai elaborated somewhat.

"Unlike the Gouken ryu, which Lee and I excel in," he explained, "which involves breaking bones and surface damage, the Hyuuga clan specialize in Jyuken, to target the Keirakukei, or chakra coils; this eventually leads up to a breakdown of the opponents internal organs, killing the foe from within."

Kakashi nodded, picking up where his 'rival' left off. "And there's no way to strengthen the internal organs," he added, "so an enemy struck with that is sure to succumb."

Recca winced, eyeing the two combatants cautiously. "So basically," he muttered, "they're killing each other by inches?"

The collective jounin blinked, and then suddenly winced, having never thought of it that way before, Kurenai gazing at her charge in concern.

'Hinata…'

Down in the arena, Hinata slammed her palm into Neji's chest, hard, causing him to tremble for a second.

"She got him!" Domon yelled, before noticing the frown on Naruto's face, which abruptly changed to shock as Hinata coughed out blood.

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Neji calmly grabbed the girl's sleeve and pulled it up, revealing several small bruises along the length of the girl's arm.

"N-no…!" Hinata gasped, horrified, "You mean…from the beginning…?"

Neji nodded, his eyes impassive.

"My eyes can detect the tenketsu."

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"What's he saying?" Domon asked, whirling around, to spot the grim expression on Kakashi's face.

"There are 361 nodes along the Keirakukei, no bigger than a pinprick, called the tenketsu," the jounin explained, "which if hit accurately, can either halt or increase your opponents chakra flow." He frowned at his students to get the seriousness of his next point across. "Not even the sharingan can detect them."

Mikagami frowned, eyeing Neji analytically. 'And regardless of his penetrative ability,' the swordsman noted, 'to accurately target them during a fight…that takes skill.'

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Neji sent his cousin flying with a shove to the chest, face neutral yet resolved. "This is the unquestionable difference in our strength, Hinata-sama." He muttered, scowling at her, "Withdraw."

Hinata, coughing up more blood, slowly pulled herself to her knees.

"I…never go back on my word…" She announced weakly, turning and smiling at her cousin, exhausted. "Because…that is also my nindo...!"

Naruto blinked in surprise and gazed down at the heiress in awe, completely caught off guard by the shy girl's statement.

"Hinata…"

Neji scoffed, mocking her to come forward, knowing full well the girl was on her last legs and incapable of using Jyuken. Regardless, he dodged her weakened attempts at landing a blow, before landing a savage blow to he chin, causing her to stumble back.

'This is getting old.' He thought, as she lunged forwards, channeling a burst of chakra into his palm, the older Hyuuga rammed it into her chest, causing the air to ripple behind her.

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"That's Neji's finisher." Gai muttered, "It targets the heart." He sighed, not noticing the looks of horror on team seven's faces. "It's a pity, but the poor girl can't even stand." He noted, knowing he'd have to have a LONG talk with the boy later.

Hayate coughed and was about to call the match when the killing intent leveled at him from the stands caused him to break into a coughing fit that almost caused him to go into a cardiac arrest.

Anko, and every jounin level shinobi in the arena, felt their hackles rise at the feeling, shooting a shocked look at the source of the terrifying killing intent, which was suspiciously like the one that nearly leveled the village thirteen years ago.

"Don't call it." Naruto muttered, earning a look from the assembled jounin.

"What are you saying? The match is obviously over!" Asuma muttered, wincing at the glare leveled at him for his troubles.

"Not yet…" Domon agreed, hands clenched tighter than steel as he glared down at the ring.

"Not while Hinata still has the will to fight." Recca finished.

Everyone stared at the trio in confusion, until movement in the arena caused them to gaze in shock as Hinata pulled herself to her feet, probably through sheer force of will alone.

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"You're not fooling anyone." Neji muttered, the surprise quickly falling from his features, "I can tell it's taking all your strength just to stand."

He walked forwards, arms held out wide.

"You've been burdened with the destiny of the Hyuuga clan on your head," he announced, "hating your nature and weakness, but you need not suffer anymore, be at peace!"

Hinata coughed and stood her ground, looking into her cousin's eyes with determination.

"Y-you're wrong…Neji-Niisan." She coughed, trembling, as she tried to maintain her feeble footing. "The one who is suffering, even more than me…is you; caught between the destinies of the main and branch houses!"

Neji's eyes filled with rage at the girl's words and he lunged forwards, ready to kill, only to be restrained by the collective Konoha jounin, with the exception of Asuma.

Kukai had a hand on one shoulder, Gai had him in a headlock, Kurenai had grabbed one arm and Kakashi the other, whilst Hayate poked a finger at his headband.

"That is quite enough." Kukai muttered, his face unnaturally calm, "The girl is on her last legs, and family should not raise their hands to one another."

"Neji." Gai warned, "You swore to me you wouldn't bring your personal vendetta against the main branch into this!"

Neji scowled and made a comment about the favoritism of the main branch, as Hinata collapsed, coughing up blood.

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"Hinata!" Kurenai yelled, only to blink as Naruto got there first, despite the fact that they were a good thirty feet away from his last position.

"Yanagi-Neechan!" the blonde called out, supporting Hinata in his arms, "Hurry! This doesn't look good!"

"GET THE HELL OUTTA OUR FREAKIN' WAY!" Domon roared, tossing startled onlookers aside like bowling pins, as he leapt to the arena floor with Yanagi in his arms, the poor girl clinging to his shoulder for dear life, Recca and Fuko following not too far behind.

After Domon set her down next to the stricken Hyuuga heiress, Yanagi got to work. Wincing as she undid the Hyuuga's jacket to let her breath, the girl placing a hand to her chest, letting her healing gift handle the damage.

The assemble jounin, minus Kukai, watched in awe as Hinata's trembling stopped, and her face began to look less bruised.

"W-what are you-?" Kurenai asked, before Recca cut in.

"Hime possesses the ability to heal just by touching someone," He muttered, smiling at his beloved princess with pride, "she can't replace blood though."

Everyone stared at the girl as she finished, enawed at the display.

'Such a tremendous power!' Kakashi muttered, 'I never heard of a Kekkei Genkai like that!' He stared at the Hokage and Kukai, the only ones not looking surprised and frowned. 'They knew this whole time…' he realized, 'Though I can see why they kept it a secret, everyone will be wanting to get their hands on this kid!'

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Several miles away, conversing with his spy Kabuto, Orochimaru let out a gargantuan sneeze that covered the disgusted medic with spittle, which he wordlessly wiped away.

'Why do I have the feeling I've missed something important?' the sannin muttered, before dismissing the bespectacled spy with a wave.

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Yanagi lifted her hands up from Hinata's chest, frowning slightly in confusion, before placing two fingers to the Hyuuga's neck, eyes widening as she felt her pulse slowing.

"She's not breathing!" the girl yelped, causing panic to flare in Kurenai's eyes, "I think her heart stopped!"

"Quick! Call the medics!" Hayate yelled, as Naruto shoved past the Hime, earning a shout from Recca.

"No time!" the blonde yelled, "I'm doing CPR!"

Kurenai blinked, having never heard the term before, then felt her eyes bulge as Naruto apparently kissed her stricken student. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" the jounin yelled, mortified at the blonde's actions, and moved to get him away from her charge until Domon laid a hand on her shoulder, restraining her.

"It's just CPR," Fuko explained, "he's breathing into her lungs and pushing over her rib cage, trying to jumpstart her respiratory system." She smirked at the confused jounin, eyes dancing mischievously. "Some people call it the kiss of life."

Kurenai flushed at the girl's leer and watched as Naruto carried out the procedure, looking for the slightest signs of anything OTHER than professional behavior.

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'She's so pale…' Naruto thought as he pushed over her heart, 'she gave it her all and this is the result.' He leaned over her mouth and blew down her windpipe, praying under his breath as he did so.

'C'mon Hinata!' he begged, 'Open your-!'

The girl trembled slightly and Naruto sat back as she burst out coughing, supporting her head with his arm. When the coughs eventually subsided she looked up at him, wonder in her eyes.

"N-Naruto…kun…?"

Naruto smiled down at her reassuringly, nodding his head. "Daijobu…you'll be okay now." He looked up as the medics reached past him to take the girl to the infirmary. "You rest up," he ordered gently, "I'll check on you later."

The shy girl tried to say something, but passed out from exhaustion.

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Kurenai left with the medics, gazing down at her stricken charge, whilst the remaining jounin released Neji, who brushed himself off. "Hmmph," the prodigy muttered, "once a failure, always a failure."

Abruptly, the Hyuuga found it hard to breath, as if an extreme pressure was filling the air, weighing down his body and lungs. Kakashi felt his eye widened in recognition, causing him to whip round in surprise.

'T-this killing intent,' he wondered, 'Masaka! Has the seal come undone?!'

Naruto stood up slowly, not facing the Hyuuga prodigy, as he spoke. "Care to repeat yourself…teme?" he asked, his voice having developed the hint of a growl.

Neji swallowed and shook his head, smirking self confidently. "I said:" he sneered, "Once a failure, always a failure!"

Abruptly, the Hyuuga prodigy blinked in surprise, as Naruto appeared not two feet away from him, eyes blazing and sword half drawn, roaring with rage.

And things would have gone VERY badly for Hinata's cousin, had the assembled jounin sensei not dog piled the blonde, holding him back.

"Uzumaki Naruto," Hayate warned, though he could understand the blonde's sentiment. "if you don't keep the fights within the scheduled matches, you WILL be disqualified."

Naruto's glare drilled holes through the jounin holding him, causing many to question the security of the seal, and the sanity of their standing so close to a potential bloodbath, before the blonde sighed and relaxed, enabling them to release him.

Walking back to a puddle of Hinata's blood and staring at it for a moment, the blonde drew his sword.

"Naruto!" Hayate warned, "I said that-eh?"

Everyone blinked as the blonde slashed his own hand across the blade, drawing a thin line of blood before scooping up a handful of Hinata's and held it up to his face, clenching his fist.

"Three times; says the Buddha." Naruto growled, looking at his fist. "You demeaned Hinata's confidence, beat her within an inch of her life…and then insulted her for fighting as hard as she could."

Neji shivered as the blonde glared at him, holding out the bloody fist.

"That's three times you'll pay for this…" Naruto snarled, adding a burst of killing intent with the threat, "Hyuuga Neji!"

The Prodigy shivered internally, but outwardly scoffed at the blonde. "Whatever, loser." He muttered, turning on his heel and walking back to the stands.

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Up in the stands, Gaara shivered as he watched the drama act itself out below.

"Baki," he questioned, "did you sense that?" The sand jounin looked at the redhead in confusion, prompting him to elaborate. "The blonde's bloodlust…" Gaara muttered, "made Shukaku nervous."

Baki felt his eyes widen in shocked horror at the statement, as he eyed the blonde genin standing in the arena.

'What could possibly cause such a reaction in that monster?'

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The final fight between Dosu and Chouji ended with Shikamaru's friend being carted off on a stretcher, mumbling about meat. As a result, Recca was seeded without seeing any action, much to his disappointment.

Ibiki smirked at the assembled competitors, passing a long look at the three from the classroom, feeling his head twinge slightly.

'Kakashi's brats are as interesting as he was…as a kid.' He snorted, amused despite himself. 'They're tough nuts I'll give 'em that much.'

The ANBU commander then proceeded to chuckle as they eyed the box Anko was holding with suspicion.

'Guess they got off to a decent start with her too.'

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"There better not be any snakes in there." Domon muttered, reaching into the box, wincing at the woman's sadistic grin. His teammates shared a similar look, and made their selections quickly. They then called out their respective numbers when called for.

Ibiki coughed to gain their attention, holding up a sheet of paper.

"Alright take a good look at this kids."

Chunin Exams: Third round finals

Hanabishi Naruto versus Hyuuga Neji.

Temari versus Kirisawa Fuko.

Ishijima Domon versus Kinuta Dosu.

Kankurou versus Aburame Shino.

Mikagami Tokiya versus Nara Shikamaru.

Sabaku no Gaara versus Uchiha Sasuke.

Hanabishi Recca versus winner of round six.

"This is the line up for the finals, be sure to memorize them carefully" Ibiki called out, as the Hokage finished explaining the directive of the tournament, "Remember what Hokage-sama has said and be prepared!"

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Team Seven marched out of the arena and began looking for their punctuality deficient sensei, having decided to seek his advice concerning the finals.

"Gejimayu-sensei said he was headed for the hospital…I think." Naruto muttered uncertainly, not being fluent in 'freaky spandex guy' and having wanted little to do with the elotard wearing Jounin.

Domon grunted, nodding enthusiastically. "This next ones gonna be rough, he's gotta have SOMETHING for us to learn within a month." The giant reasoned.

Recca snickered, nudging his Outoto snidely. "If not, we can always pay a visit to your girlfriend!" he teased, holding up his pinky finger.

Naruto went red and started sputtering. "ANIKI!" he yelled, whirling around to counter the teen's accusation, arms waving comically, "What the hell are you implying?!"

"Oi, oi…keep the noise down." Kakashi muttered, coming round the corridor with his usual lack of interest, despite the scuffle with Kabuto, "This IS a hospital you know."

Naruto grumbled as Domon snickered at him, whilst Recca chuckled. "Hey, Kakashi-sensei!" the enjutsu-shi chirped, "We got a request to ask you-!"

Kakashi held up a hand, stalling the teen in mid-sentence. "I can tell what you're about to say," he muttered, "I've already looked into finding someone to monitor your training."

Recca blinked, completely caught off guard. "Uh… actually, we wanted YOU to do it." He stated, scratching his head. "We figured you had to know some stuff to help us in the finals at least."

Kakashi winced as they looked at him expectantly. 'They aren't going to like this…' he predicted, before putting on his best negotiation face.

"I'm really sorry guys," the jounin muttered, scratching his head awkwardly, "I've got some business to take care of, so I don't have the time to look after you guys."

The trio stared at him in shock as he finished, and for a moment Kakashi thought he'd pulled it off, before their faces set into identical scowls.

"I get it." Naruto spat, scowling at him in disgust, "You're training Sasuke, aren't you?!"

"Now, now; don't say that!" Kakashi said, inwardly wincing, at being caught out so quickly, "I've looked into finding someone whose lots better than-"

"Yeah whatever." Naruto spat, turning on his heel and stomping off without bothering to hear the man out. "Be sure to spit the bastard's dick out when you're done." He snarled over his shoulder, before stomping down the corridor amidst looks of shock from the hospital staff.

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Kakashi blinked at the venom in the teen's voice as he walked off, Domon and Recca glaring at him in disgust didn't make things any easier for him.

"We've lost all respect for you, Hatake." Recca growled, turning to follow his Outoto, spitting on the man's last name like it was poisonous.

Domon didn't deign to say anything, he didn't even take a swipe at the jounin like Kakashi thought he would've; he just turned on his heel and marched off after his teammates, silent as a mountain.

The jounin honestly would have preferred to be decked by the giant; it wouldn't have hurt as much as watching the looks of betrayal on their faces as they turned their backs on him.

Kakashi moaned and covered his eyes, shaking his head at how badly he had screwed things up.

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Naruto was stomping down the corridor, scaring the nurses with the rage in his eyes, as they wondered if the seal had finally snapped and made for the hills.

'God damn, two faced, copycat bastard!' he swore mentally, teeth gnashing together in his ire, 'So much for that damn teamwork motto! He's been focusing on Sasuke from the damn start!'

"You're a failure Hinata." A cultured voice muttered, causing the blonde's ears to twitch, "for a member of the main house to fall to the branch family…disgraceful."

Naruto paused in mid-rant and glared at the door at the end of the hall, where the voice came from. Looking through the crack revealed a distraught Hinata being yelled at by an older looking version of Neji, presumably her father.

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Hyuuga Hiashi was about to open his mouth to say something else when the door to the room was kicked open, catching him quite painfully in the side.

"Watch where your standing, you coulda hurt somebody." Naruto muttered, looking at the Hyuuga head as he leaned against the wall, holding his back and twitching.

Hinata blinked at sight of the blonde and flushed. "N-Naruto-kun…" she stammered, surprised at the unexpected visit.

The blonde snorted and thumbed over his shoulder at the girl's father. "Heard the windbag down the hallway," he muttered, earning a squeak and a glare respectively from the Hyuugas, "think most of the hospital did too."

"Boy…" Hiashi warned, standing at his full height and gazing down at the blonde, "Do you know to whom you are speaking?"

"An asshole?" The blonde replied, smirking at the look of shock that adorned the man's face, "From the shit you were spouting at Hinata a while ago, you sure as hell must be."

The Hyuuga head glared at the boy, a vein pounding on his forehead as he activated his Byakugan, irked at the little affect it apparently had on him.

"You trespass in matters that don't concern you." Hiashi muttered, his tone final, "Leave now."

Many a man had seen that look in Hyuuga Hiashi's eyes and knew that any further arguments would result in a quick death via Jyuken, something that Hiashi was EXTREMLY eager to provide when angered. Wise men knew better than to tempt Hiashi's hair trigger.

Hanabishi Naruto was not such a man.

"Fuck off." The blonde remarked, causing Hinata to let out a startled squeak and Hiashi to swell with rage.

"How dare you!" the man roared, clearly at the very limits of his extremely short patience, "I am the head of the Hyuuga clan, and will not be spoken to like that!"

Naruto snorted derisively, not impressed in the slightest. "Right-right, PLEASE fuck off then, that any better?" he asked, smirking at the man.

Hiashi was about to attack the blonde when Kurenai entered, looking for all the world like she HADN'T been eavesdropping the whole time.

"Hiashi-sama?" she greeted respectfully, "Hinata needs her rest, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

The Hyuuga head glared at the leering blonde, before turning on his heel and storming out of the room, head held high. 'You have won for now brat,' he muttered, 'but I shall not forget this indignity…you can be certain of that.'

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"What a dickhead." Naruto snorted, allowing his sword to slide back into the sheath, having pushed it out slightly with his thumb, "I can see where Neji gets his 'charming' personality."

Hinata flushed, having not seen ANYONE stand up to her father like that, let alone for HER sake. "Ano…Naruto-kun…" she began, then froze as he placed a hand on her head, flushing a familiar scarlet hue.

"You better rest up, Hinata." Naruto ordered, smirking at her kindly, "You gotta come see me kick your asshole cousin's ass in the finals…" He ruffled her hair affectionately before turning on his heel. "I'll beat him for you." He promised, smiling over his shoulder.

The poor girl watched as he turned and left, nodding to Kurenai as he did so, before touching her lips. 'Just now…I wanted to ask him…' she sighed and shook her head, 'No…Naruto would never do that…it was only a dream…'

Hinata blinked as Kurenai sighed, interrupting her train of thought for the moment.

"I'm glad you're okay," the jounin said warmly, checking her charge's forehead and sighing in relief, "I guess Naruto's 'Kiss of life' thing really works."

Hinata turned beet red, before fainting away, steam rising off her forehead as a shocked Kurenai stared at her in shock.

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Hyuuga Hiashi stormed into the Hyuuga complex and barricaded himself in his study, forbidding anyone else from entering under penalty of death via Jyuken or the caged bird seal respectively.

The man had never been this riled up in his life, he felt like he actually wanted to PUNCH something! He, Hyuuga Hiashi, had been treated like some commoner, had been insulted, in front of his own daughter no less, by the lowest rung on the Konoha societal ladder!

Hyuuga's were world renowned for never showing emotion in public; their faces naturally exhibited a type of superior calm that bordered on emotionless. In fact the angrier a skilled Hyuuga became, the more haunting that same emotionless expression became, as if you were staring at a Noh mask.

A chip had formed in Hiashi's mask, and it was threatening to widen to a crack as a result of the demon brat.

'I will not stand for this!' he growled, marching out of his study and slamming the door shut, startling the branch family servants that were tidying the hallway as he stomped towards the training yard.

"What do you think happened?" one asked, nodding towards the Hyuuga head's retreating back, the other merely shrugged and went back to sweeping the hallway.

"Do I care?" he muttered sarcastically, "You wanna risk the seal by asking him?"

The first flinched and went back to work, sweeping away at the hall with increased gusto.

Hiding behind a corner, Hyuuga Suzuka stared at the receding form of her brother-in-law and sighed. 'Hizashi…see how things have degraded since your passing?' she looked up at the roof, 'Hiashi is no longer the man he once was, and our children are being alienated by this insufferable family feud.'

She sighed again and retreated to her chambers, shaking her head all the way. 'But I will be patient.' She vowed, 'I will await the light that will sever these ties of hatred.'

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Naruto sneezed, sending his noodles soaring across the table to drape over a mortified Tokiya. "NARUTO!" the swordsman roared, jabbing his chopsticks into the blonde's skull, "COVER YOUR DAMN MOUTH!"

Naruto winced and scratched his head in embarrassment, as the others broke into laughter at the sight of the usually reserved Mikagami freaking out.

'Coulda sworn I felt someone talking about me.' The blonde muttered, before shrugging and accepting a fresh bowl from a smiling Kagero, 'Ah well, I'm sure it wasn't anything important.'

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What ominous signs are these? Who is Hyuuga Shizuka? What could she possibly mean by 'a light to sever ties of hatred'? And just how will the rest of team 7 prepare for the exams, with Kakashi and Sasuke training in solitude?

Kaka-mummy: Muuurrgggghhh! (lurches forwards, arms outstretched)

Kyugan: Goukayuu no jutsu!

Kaka-mummy: (burnt to ashes)...

Kyugan: Yo, Josuke, do your stuff.

Josuke: CRAZY DIAMOND!

CD: ORA! (punches the ashes, the reform into Kakashi, completely healed)

Kakashi: buh? wha-happened? Last thing I remember is burning in a lake of fire with these little bastards with pitchforks dancing about.

Kyugan: Satan owes Hiruma a few favours, which means you owe him big for getting you back.

Kakashi: What's he want me to do, (catches a bundle and looks at it,) oh god no...

(Several minutes later)

Kakashi (dressed up as a T-bine steak and covered in Gravy) YAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Cerberos: GRAAAAAOOOOOWWWWR!

Kyugan (looks to Hiruma): We cool?

Hiruma: YA-HA!

Kyugan: I'll take that as a yes.

Kakashi: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! (CHOMP) (Girlish scream) MY CLAVIN!

* * *


	17. Chapter 17

It begins, team seven's mission to prove they don't need the help of an unpunctual, lazy, good-for-nothing, old-man-smelling...

Kakashi: Oi, oi, who you saying smells likes an old man?

Kyugan: You, who else?

Kakashi: I'll have you know I'm only in my thirties.

Kyugan: And Itachi's only in his late teens, meaning YOU are basically defunct.

Kakashi: (huddled in corner) You're so mean...

Kyugan: S'right Bitch, Roll tape!

* * *

Solitude; the month of training!

It was early in the morning; so early that the sun hadn't even rolled out of its futon in order to torment all those who wished to have a lie in. At team seven's graduation field, where the dew was still setting on the memorial stone, three figures slowly approached one another from different directions, each with a backpack over his shoulder.

Recca nodded at the other members of the prankster trio as they arrived at the meeting point, before getting down to business. "Listen," he began, making a fist and punching out at one of the stumps, "Kakashi no yatsu can go fuck himself; we don't need his help for this exam." He pointed at the hokage crest on his lapel, smirking. "We'll train in our own way, and meet back here for the finals in one month."

Domon grunted, hefting Zabuza's Kubikiri Houcho over one shoulder and grinning. "Solitary training in the woods eh?" he comented, "Sounds like a kung fu anime."

Naruto snorted, placing his hand on the pommel of his sword. "I get the water fall." He called out, causing Recca to frown at his Outoto, before grinning and holding up a fist.

"Shall we?"

Domon cracked his knuckles, grinning maniacally. "Let's do this!"

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After a rousing game of Janken, the trio spilt up to their respective areas.

Domon was headed for the woods just outside Konoha, a camping bag over one arm and Zabuza's Zanbato over the other. Naruto moved towards the waterfall they had discovered at least a day's walk from the village, whilst Recca was determined to carry out his training in the mountains behind the Hokage monument.

Each of the three was determined to return ready for the finals, and prove to their useless sensei that they didn't need his inept teachings.

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Kakashi sneezed in the midst of watching Sasuke's progress as the teen attempted to scale a cliff with only one hand. This caused the jounin to lose his grip and fall about three feet before managing to find another handhold, though he was trembling from the effort.

'Someone's talking about me' the cycloptic jounin muttered weakly, shaken from the sudden fall, his eye half shut weakly, 'and I don't think they think too highly of me either.'

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Naruto sat in a lotus stance, meditating in front of the waterfall, facing it as the spray flew everywhere.

'Tou-san told me that the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu was originally designed to pit one against many," he recalled, "so speed is the key to mastering it.' He eyed the waterfall and scowled, watching the veritable curtain of water cascade in front of him.

'Kagero Kaa-san helped us master the water walking jutsu' he noted, smiling at the memory of the immortal kunoichi as she put them through their paces, 'this should be an adaptation of that.'

He focused chakra into his legs and charged the waterfall, attempting to run up the flowing surface as he had done with the rivers back in wave country. The blonde managed about five feet before he felt himself falling, landing carefully on the rocks with a frown on his face.

'…Harder than I thought…'

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Recca was in his mindscape, sparring with the Karyuu in their human forms. He blocked a blow from Saiha's blade with a kunai, flipping back as the weapon was cut in half, before launching a kick to Homura's stomach.

"This the best you old geezers can do?" he yelled, kicking Saiha in the jaw, "I only got one month! Let's make it count!"

He flew through the seals for Housenka and countered Nadare's assault, before leaping back as Setsuna lunged at him. "Miss me big guy?" the enjutsu-shi taunted with a wry smirk, tripping the twisted Karyuu and tossing him judo style, "Tough luck!"

Koku sat back and nodded, watching the proceedings with a teacher's air. 'Recca is certainly strong,' he admitted, 'but is a month enough time for him to advance?'

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Domon sat in a clearing, scowling at the trees he'd leveled over the past half hour or so with distaste.

'This isn't training,' the giant muttered, 'its just smashing stuff…' He scowled at his fists, as if daring them to contradict him. 'Homura said I needed to add technique, that strength wasn't the issue…' He frowned, trying to wrack his brain for clues, naturally coming up short. 'I've never really trained before though, no idea how to start…'

Shrugging resignedly, the giant decided to put off the thinking until after lunch. Reaching into his bag and pulling out a rice ball, the giant tossed it into the air, mouth wide and waiting.

DOOM!!!

Domon staggered, caught off guard by the noise and shaking of the earth, the onigiri landing in the dirt at his feet. He stared at it for a second, debating whether or not to follow the three second rule, before ramming it into his mouth and stamping through the undergrowth, looking livid.

"Alright!" he yelled, pushing aside the undergrowth, "Where's the moron that ruined my dinner?!"

The sound of prayer led him to another clearing not too far away, where he came across an odd sight.

A large man, stripped to the waist, revealing a back like a brick wall, sat in a circle of Buddha's, apparently chanting. The man's arms were bandaged and there was a bandana around his head, what looked like dark rings lined his eyes. He held a Chinese sword in one hand, making half a ram seal with the other, the blade's metal reflecting the faint sunlight from the canopy.

'Some sortta priest?' the giant wondered, cocking an eyebrow in confusion, before the sword came down and caused the earth to shake, the Buddha's abruptly turning to dust on the wind.

"How long do you intend to stare at my back?" the man muttered, standing slowly.

Domon winced, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry," he muttered, "you startled me back at camp with that…ground shaking thingy…I wanted to see what was going on."

The man regarded him with his black-rimmed eyes and Domon swallowed, looking decidedly nervous. The guy was bigger than he was for crying out loud!

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Naruto was once again training within his own mindscape, which had changed yet again to resemble the waterfall. The blonde jinchuuriki winced as his father informed him that ninjutsu training was out until the Gogyofuuin was removed.

"Until then," the demon explained, "I will continue your instruction in the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu."

Naruto nodded, looking up at his father in interest. "Tou-san," he wondered, "where did you learn this style from, exactly?"

The youko blinked at the question, before smirking, shaking his head in amusement. "From an arrogant prick of a human," he recalled, "who despite his ego was as skilled as his boasts claimed."

The demon looked upwards, an odd smirk on his face, almost…wistful, if you dared to put that word to it. "He called himself Hiko Seijuro, and I learned it the hard way, when he used the techniques against me in my human form."

Naruto blinked as the demon rubbed his chest, as if tracing an old battle scar.

"It was the first time a mortal ever wounded me in either form," Kyuubi muttered, "and so I acknowledge his strength even to this day, when the style has no doubt long since been forgotten."

Naruto nodded in understanding, before moving into the drawing stance as he'd been taught. "I'm ready when you are."

Kyuubi smiled and moved into his own stance, eyeing his son carefully, before the two lunged at each other, the sound of steel clashing throughout the clearing.

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Hinata sat up in her hospital bed, rubbing her eyes. She'd been asleep since Kurenai left the day before, and was feeling a lot better than when she first came in.

The shy kunoichi blinked at the sight of a massive bouquet of violets that was sitting on her bedside table, a paper sheet with three chibified faces on it that resembled a certain blonde genin and his partners in crime standing on the mangled corpses of Neji and her father, cheering in victory.

_Get well soon! From, the Prankster trio!_

She giggled at the faces they were making in the picture; especially the little crosses on her father's face, before smiling at the bouquet, her heart warming up at the sight of the beautiful flowers.

At that moment a nurse came in, smiling at the girl as she saw her awake. "Are you feeling better Hinata-sa…" she trailed off, staring at the bouquet in shock. "How'd that get in here?" she wondered out loud, looking around the room in confusion, "The door was locked all night."

Hinata blinked in confusion, and then flushed as the realization hit her like a tonne of bricks. 'Naruto-kun and his friends…broke into the hospital!'

The nurse blinked as the girl's face turned red, before shaking her head in confusion as the Hyuuga heiress passed out.

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"I see…the chunin exam finals," the man muttered, looking into the fire. The two were sitting in front of a fire, the smell of roasting frogs filling the air.

Domon nodded, taking a sparing sip from his water pouch. "There's a lotta tough guys there," the giant muttered, "and I got nothing but brute strength going for me." He smirked at the man, looking embarrassed, as he scratched the back of his neck. "I thought I could develop a few techniques out here, but I forgot that I've never really trained before."

The man nodded appraisingly at the giant's admittance of his flaws. "It takes a wise man to admit his faults, even to a stranger." He recited, causing Domon to shrug.

"Anyway," the giant replied, "that was pretty cool, what you did back there." The man looked at him and the giant began to sweat, wondering if he'd insulted him in some way. "Was that some sortta monk thing?" Domon asked, trying to loosen the tension somewhat.

"I am not a monk," the man corrected, "or rather…I am no longer a monk; and what you saw was the adaptation of one of my techniques." He looked at Domon, as if studying him, before narrowing his eyes slightly. "Have you ever had an ambition?" he asked.

Domon blinked at the question, before grinning, patting one of his biceps proudly. "Sure!" the teen replied, "I wanna be the strongest!"

The man frowned, analyzing the giant carefully. "And how will you do that?" he asked.

Domon blinked, not expecting the priest to go all 'philosophical' on him, before becoming solemn, looking down at the fire between them. "There's this one guy," he muttered, "I never managed to beat him in a straight out fight, Y'know?" He smirked, staring at his fist in a bemused sort of way. "Things got hectic, we became rivals…then friends…" The genin patted his Hokage clan tattoo proudly, "Now I'm sorta his right hand man."

He gazed back at the fire, frowning into its flickering depths. "But like I said, all I got is brute strength, no technique to back it up…" Domon looked up at the man with conviction in his eyes, clenching his fists. "So I gotta make myself stronger, no matter what!"

The man gazed at him for a few moments before nodding resignedly. "I see…" he muttered, sounding almost amused, "this must be karma…"

Domon blinked in confusion, as the man held up a stone in a bandaged hand. "Listen," the massive figure explained, "to break this rock, you must apply force to it with your fist, but all objects, not just the rock, have resistance, so your force is not fully transferred to the object."

The man's eyes grew serious, catching Domon's and holding them in a grip like a steel vice. "In other words, some force is wasted," he scowled, "how does one avoid this?"

Domon looked stumped, before the man continued, tapping his secondary knuckles against it. "First, you bring your fist against the rock like this, making the first impact." He closed his fist and punched the rock; "The instant the impact meets the rock's resistance you deliver a second impact by folding your fist. The impact is transferred without meeting the resistance, destroying the rock."

The man looked at the rock, almost reverently. "That is the secret of this technique…the Futae no Kiwami." He nodded, towards the destroyed ring of Buddha statues not ten feet away. "With it, feats such as the Toate you saw me using can be performed."

Domon sweatdropped; finding the man's 'simple' explanation to be a little TOO technical for his liking, but not wanting to come off as an idiot in front of a stranger.

"Sounds simple…" he muttered, blinking as the man tossed the rock to him.

"You try it." The man urged, watching the teen like a hawk. Domon took a deep breath, raised the rock with his left hand, before punching it twice with the other, causing it to crumble.

"Huh? It didn't shatter?" the teen muttered, confused as hell, knowing for sure he'd punched the stupid thing hard enough.

"Because that was just two separate blows," the man muttered, holding up a second rock, "your blows must be faster to perform the technique, it is within a Setsuna (1/75th of a second)…" He punched the rock, reducing it to dust with apparently little difficulty. "That you must make your second strike!"

The massive man eyed the genin, before him critically. "The time it took me to master this technique was one month." He frowned, eyes deadly serious as they locked on to the genin's own. "You have the same, master it or die here."

Domon felt his eyes widen in shock as he fell off his seat; face paler than normal at the man's words. "Say what?!" he shrieked, spiking at the edges like a startled cat.

The man frowned, ignoring the teen's lack of control. "This technique was not designed to be used by just anyone," he explained, "if you fail to master it, the penalty is death." He regarded the startled young man before him with his calm eyes, before nodding. "You said you'd do whatever it takes…correct?"

Domon blinked, then smirked, laughing weakly at the memory of his own words. "You're definitely no Monk," he snickered wryly, "threatening to kill me…" The giant genin clenched a fist and grinned savagely.

"You're on!"

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Naruto fell back, cursing at the pain in his head. 'Dammit!' he cursed, tears forming at the edge of his eyes, 'That Ryutsuisen really hurts!'

"On your feet, Naruto!" Kyuubi called out, "You don't have time to waste, lying around here!"

Naruto growled and pulled himself up, lunging forwards to perform another assault on his father. "Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu: Doryusen!" he yelled, slamming the blade into the ground and causing a hail of earth to launch at the Youkai, who blurred out of the way, appearing beside his bewildered son.

"Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryu: Ryukansen!"

Naruto yelped as he felt the back of his father's sword collide with his head, sending him pitching forwards into the ground.

"Not bad, that was pretty well executed." Kyuubi conceded, watching as his son pulled himself to his feet with a delicate frown on his noble features, "But you leave yourself open to attack…"

"Ryutsuisen Zan!"

Kyuubi blinked, before blocking the blow that would have stabbed him in the head and smirked.

"That's more like it!"

The father and son duo had been battling non-stop for the mental equivalent of three days, between Naruto's physical attempts at training and break periods. As a result, the blonde was not only training during the daytime, but while he slept as well.

After another three hours Kyuubi lowered his sword as he watched his son pant for breath. "Let's rest," he called out, "you look like you need it."

Naruto gasped and nodded, looking at his katana, not for the first time. "Tou-san…" he gasped, "when can I take part in the ceremony?"

Kyuubi blinked at the question, smiling in that distinctive vulpine way his race was famous for and shaking his head. "When you actually land a blow on me." He teased, smirk widening as he sidestepped a pebble that was aimed at his head. "See?" he mocked, "You're a long way from being able to do that yet."

The blonde jinchuuriki swore lightly, before gazing at the blade, as of trying to fathom it's secrets from just a glance.

'It LOOKS like nothing other than a simple katana,' Naruto muttered, 'though obviously a high quality one.' He frowned, running a critical eye over it. 'But in order to properly wield it, you have to learn it's name…and apparently it changes names on the fly.' His frown deepened, as he eyed the blade carefully, half expecting it to glare back.

'This definitely isn't a regular sword.'

"That's enough, stand up." Kyuubi muttered, "We need to put some effort into these if you hope to surpass the byakugan's perceptive ability."

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Neji stood, panting, in the midst of a field of deflected weapons, an exhausted looking Tenten looking at him. "You want to keep going?" she asked, earning a nod from her stoic teammate.

"I must perfect this…" Neji gasped, standing up shakily, "at all costs."

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Domon roared as he punched a fist into the rock, cursing as it broke, rather than shattering as he intended. "Dammit!" the giant complained, "This ain't as easy as it looks!"

"You mustn't strain yourself." The 'monk' muttered, walking forwards, "This isn't something that can be mastered in a short space of time, you have a whole month."

Domon grunted, casting the giant a mocking glance. "Sorry, but there's more I gotta do," he explained, glaring stubbornly at the rocks, "so I HAVE to master this quickly!" He sat down, catching his breath on the central boulder. "Even if my bones break," the giant gasped, "I gotta get this wrapped up and my act together."

The man sighed, shaking his head in mild disgust. "Prayers in an ass's ear." he muttered, almost nostalgically.

Domon twitched, running a beady eye over his apparent tutor accusingly. "Oi," the teen growled, "who you callin an ass?"

"An gorilla then." The man amended, walking off as the giant twitched, "Very well, go at your own pace, but if you fail to master the technique within a month…" He pulverized a boulder and glared over his shoulder at the teen. "You WILL die."

Domon shivered, grinning ferally as he gave the man the finger.

"You're on!"

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Recca sighed as he took a breather, resting between sparring sessions.

"You've come a long way, Recca." Koku muttered, "You should feel pleased with yourself."

Recca growled, eyeing the ancient Karyuu carefully. "I've wanted to ask you something…Oyaji." He held up an arm, staring at the dragon tattoos one the bare skin. "Why do I have to call on the Karyuu to use their powers?" he asked with a frown, "it kind of gives the game away."

Koku smirked, seeing this as a sign of maturity in his host. "It helps focus your energies, and makes it easier for you to envision the attack." He waved a hand dismissively, smiling cryptically to entice the young enjutsu-shi. "If you perfected your discipline, you could probably do without the symbols, or the name calling, eventually."

The younger flame wielder grinned and got to his feet, looking ready to rumble. "Then what are we waiting for?" he yelled, "There's training to do!"

Koku sweatdropped, remembering that being cryptic with Recca meant you'd be standing there all day...and possibly all night. "Discipline means strengthening your mental resolve," He muttered, shaking his head exasperatedly, "you can't increase that with physical labor."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Recca growled, only for the surrounding landscape to warp into his mindscape, the wind causing the sand to rise slightly.

"Simple…" Koku muttered, walking a few steps away from the teen, "meditation and other mental exercises."

The old man sat on the sand and, to the youth's shock, caught fire.

"Releasing one's inner flame to embrace your body is a dangerous technique reserved for the training of the most advanced flame users…" Koku muttered, eyeing Recca through the flames, "Not even Ouka managed to get this far in his training, though he was well on the way." He eyed Recca solemnly through his sunglasses, "For this exercise, you must allow your flames to engulf you, without consuming you."

The eldest dragon frowned and stood up, the flames dissipating as he pointed at Recca. "None of your dragon's will assist you if you get hurt, this must be carried out alone." He walked off, waving over his shoulder at the startled teen. "If you can remain within there for one week, you will have passed."

Recca winced and stared as the old man walked away, vanishing into the desert in a gust of flame. 'Damn…this isn't gonna be easy…' he muttered, staring at his tekko for a few minutes before setting his resolve, the image of Kurei hovering before him almost mockingly. 'But I can't let something like this scare me!'

He sat down and took a breath to calm himself, unfastening his tekko as he went. "Gomen…Kaa-san," he called out, feeling the surge of heat that shot up his arm, "this one's gonna be rough…"

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Six days had passed, and the absence of the three genin had been noted by a number of people in Konoha.

Ichiraku was lamenting the loss of his precious ramen loving trio, wondering if they had gotten themselves into trouble during the exams and actually marched to the Hokage office to demand an answer from the startled Elder, who assured the Ramen stand owner that they had come out of the exam unharmed.

Shikamaru, surprisingly, was wondering where they had gotten off to between training with his dad and feeble attempts to bolster Ino's shattered confidence. Ever since her defeat at Domon's hands, the girl had been an absolute wreck; it took all they had just to get her to join them for team practice.

Naturally, all it took to get her raring again was for him to mention Sasuke's name, casually wondering what the Uchiha would think of her moping around. Of course, if Ino got TOO rowdy, he could just as easily mention how much stronger Domon could be after the month, which would cast the Yamanaka back into a gloomy pit of despair.

'I gotta buy that guy a bowl of ramen sometime.' The lazy genin muttered, staring down at the girl as she huddled in a shadowy corner, 'I've never been able to get Ino to forget about shopping so easily before.'

Around the same time Shikamaru was enjoying his freedom from 'Luggage-duty', Hinata had been released from the hospital, and spent most of her time away from home to avoid her father, sister and cousin, preferring to spend the day with her teammates.

Kiba was still nursing a cracked skull and so had to sit out during training, but he and Akamaru loudly encouraged Shino to kick ass at the finals. The stoic teen in question accepted the encouragement with a little more gratitude than he used to display, which Kurenai and Hinata believed to be a knock-on effect of Naruto's actions at the tower.

Kurenai held her female charge back after one such session, pushing a note into her confused hands with a smile. "This is the address Kagero-san gave me at the last meeting," the jounin explained, "She's Recca and Naruto's mother, so if you want to pay him a visit…"

Hinata blushed as her sensei teetered off suggestively, especially at the smile on the older woman's face.

"A-arigatou…Kurenai-sensei…"

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Reiran was hanging out laundry in the yard when she sensed someone coming up the path. The marionette looked around the sheets and smiled at the blue haired girl pleasantly.

"Can I help you?"

Hinata blushed at the sight of the woman, never expecting to see someone like this. 'She's so beautiful…' the girl marveled, before shaking her head to clear it, looking up at the woman cautiously. "Ano…Hanabishi-san?" she asked, glad she hadn't stuttered, until Reiran shook her head, smiling kindly.

"My name is Katashiro Reiran, the caretaker;" the marionette explained, "Kagero-san is in the house." She smiled invitingly at the shy Hyuuga, tilting her head in a friendly manner. "Would you care to come in?"

Hinata was about to decline when the woman took her hand and led the stuttering kunoichi inside, startling her with the strength of the woman's grip.

Kagero looked up from her tea and smiled at Ganko's friend/mother as she entered, the Hyuuga heiress in tow. "A guest?" the immortal kunoichi questioned, tilting her face to smile at the kunoichi in Reiran's grip.

Hinata swallowed and bowed shyly, Kagero being even more elegant than Reiran, making her feel outclassed. "Ano, watashi-wa Hyuuga Hinata-desu…" She blushed in embarrassment, and lowered her head to hide her face with her bangs, "H-Hajime mashta!"

Kagero smiled in a motherly manner and looked up at the animated marionette standing behind the girl. "Reiran, bring some dango from the kitchen would you?" she then gestured to the spot on the patio beside her and smiled at Hinata, "Come sit next to me, the Koi look lively today."

Hinata flushed, but managed to sit down next to the woman without embarrassing herself and tapped her fingers together. "Ano…gomen," she stuttered, "but…I was wondering if…Naruto-kun was home?"

Kagero blinked, then smiled in that knowing way mothers have as she ran her eyes over the shy Hyuuga. 'Naruto, you little heart breaker.' She laughed softly, 'For someone so naive, you certainly do have a gift for attracting the cute ones.'

"My sons and Domon-kun are off training for the finals." She explained, smiling apologetically at the girl, "I'm sorry to say they'll be gone for a whole month."

Hinata sagged, having worked up so much courage just to come here, only for the object of her affections to have effectively done a runner. She blinked and looked up as Kagero placed a hand on her own, smiling warmly. "So tell me," the immortal Kunoichi asked, "how long have you had feelings for Naruto-kun?"

Hinata fainted dead away, causing Kagero to blink, and then giggle at the sight.

"So kawaii!"

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Domon sat on his knees, gasping for breath. His fists were bloody from punching rocks all day and his arms felt like they'd turned to lead. His enigmatic teacher had told him to take the weights off from the beginning, but the giant had been stubborn and now he was regretting it.

It had been six days since he'd started, and so far all he'd managed to do was break boulders into smaller rocks, and the sun had set hours ago.

Domon glared at the pebbles, as if somehow trying to shift the blame for his predicament to them. 'Dammit,' the giant muttered, noticing the distinct lack of good-sized rocks, 'better grab some more…'

He moved to get up, only for his legs to fail, causing him to fall face first to the ground, the weight actually making the smaller pebbles jump. 'Dammit…of all the times for my legs to give out…' he growled, pushing himself up off the ground, 'Can't let it…end like this!'

"Pitiful."

Domon looked up in shock, to reveal a familiar face looking down at him, one he'd last seen covered in blood and bullet-holes on Tazuna's bridge.

"Zabu…za?" he uttered, blinking stupidly at the sight, "Is this a dream? Am I seeing things?" He blinked again, staring down at the missing Nin's legs, before shrieking and backpedaling, arms waving in the air like a deranged squid. "YAAAAH!!!! NO FEET!!!!"

Zabuza snorted, arms crossed, a look of disgust on his features as he glared at the teen before him. "Pathetic," he repeated, "and you have the nerve to call yourself an Oni." He scowled at the giant, face hidden, as always behind his bandages. "Was I wrong to entrust my sword to you?" he demanded, "Eh, Gaki?!"

Domon blinked in shock as the ghostly figure loomed over him, looking annoyed.

"You call yourself a demon, yet you easily complain whenever things get tough!" Zabuza growled, pointing at the giant, "You still have strength! Get up!"

Domon blinked, then smirked, chuckling bitterly. "Look who's talking," the giant grumbled, "you're a freaking ghost, and your sassing me?" He rose to his feet, getting right in the former swordsman's face with a snarl.

"Oni no Domon doesn't take sass from nobody!" The giant roared, giving the spectral swordsman the finger, and grinning. "Go back to heaven and keep my seat warm for me!"

With that, he trudged past the figure, still grinning as he tilted his head to the side slightly. "Haku-chan's doing fine by the way," he added, smiling at the ghost over his shoulder, "she's really happy…you don't need to worry."

Zabuza lowered his head as the giant walked past, smirking behind the wrappings as he shook his head.

"…Arigatou…gaki."

Then he vanished, as if he'd never been there at all, the wind picking up scant seconds later to knock the dew from the leaves.

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When dawn broke, it was to reveal the limp form of Domon lying on a boulder, a rock clenched in his hand.

"He died from exhaustion," the monk muttered, turning on his heel, "A shame to lose him..." A pebble bounced off the back of his head, causing him to spin round as a voice growled at him.

"I ain't dead yet dammit!" Domon growled, looking annoyed as he sat up, "Just resting for a bit". He snorted, eyeing the priest causally, as he wiped the drool from his jaw, which the man had missed before. "What, you weren't even gonna offer a prayer?" the giant asked, pretending to look hurt.

"I left my beads by the fire." The man muttered, before noticing the other rock in the giant's hands, "I see you failed to master the technique, keep at it, we have all-Hn?"

Domon tossed the rock into the air, distracting the man, before punching out at the boulder he was sitting on.

DOOM!

The priest stared, shock lining his visage as a massive chunk of the rock became no more than dust.

"Mastered it last night." Domon muttered, catching the rock and smirking at the priest, "So what was that you were saying again?"

The priest blinked, staring at the teen in wonder. "You have…some potential." He admitted numbly, causing Domon to snort, obviously miffed.

"Oi, I almost died here ya damn priest!" The teen countered, smirking to show he meant no disrespect, "Don't make light of that!"

The man blinked, then smirked and held out his hand, for the giant genin to shake. "My apologies," he said warmly, "you are a remarkable young man."

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As Domon caught forty winks, the man sat gazing at him in thought.

'He completed the training in a mere week," he wondered, "something that I have only seen once before…' He eyed the sleeping teen, carefully, a plan formulating behind his charcoaled eyes. 'With such potential, he could fully master the Futae no Kiwami and Toate in the remaining weeks…possibly even more.'

He nodded; resolve setting, as he looked up at the stars.

'Tomorrow, I will ask if he will continue the training…unlike a certain other fool I know.'

Far away in a prison cell in Kyoto, a former fight merchant sneezed, catching the attention of a former Shinsengumi captain as he passed the cell, resulting in a row that destroyed the cell.

Domon, unaware of his enigmatic teachers thoughts, snorted and rolled over in his sleep, dreaming about sending opponents flying with the Futae no Kiwami, Fuko hanging off his arm, purring seductively

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Fuko sneezed and shivered, holding her arms to herself, eyeing the surroundings cautiously. 'A breeze just passed through here,' she muttered ominously, 'probably a perverted mind at work.'

"Fuko-san, please pay attention." Kukai called out, slamming a fist down and forcing the girl to dodge quickly as his strength leveled the tree behind her.

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How will Domon's training under his mysterious tutor proceed? Will Recca survive being roasted by his own flame? And will Naruto ever get that damn gogyofuuin off his stomach?

Naruto: Hmm, what's that weird noise?

Ominous voice: HEE-HEE! the girls in konoha are so pretty!

Kakashi: (suitcase in hand) Screw you, I'm leaving.

Kyugan: Tell you what, if you can take one step forward, you can go, but if you take one step back, you have to play with Cerberus again.

Kakashi: DEAL! (Goes to step forward)

Dio: ZA WARUDO! (time stopping noise, The World moves Kakashi back one step.) Soshite Toki wa Ugokidasu.

Kakashi: Eh? Wha? (looks down) WHAT?!

Kyugan: You know where the gravy is kept, (hands kakashi the steak costume) don't let me keep you.

Kakashi: (Being dragged off by security) How'd you do that?!

Kyugan: Trade secret, (turns to Dio) Here, as agreed, Evangeline's Phone number.

Dio: WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Kyugan: Yeah...drop the posing will ya? And don't touch Negi, or she'll bite IT off.

Kakashi: (From a distance) OH DEAR GOD NOT THE CUTLERY! (SOUND OF FLYING CUTLERY) SPLEEN!

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

Okay, first off, I'm well aware that Naruto's mother's name is Uzumaki Kushina, and henceforth she will be named as such in the continuation. I WILL update the other chapters with this correction, have nofear, so if you see a chapter where I refer to her as Noriko and Yondaime as Arashi, please, let me know so we can get the stroy up to date.

Also, the red streaks in Naruto's hair are simply a part of Kyuubi's heritage, though Kushina beoing a redhead may have something on the matter.

Kakashi: At lesast you're honest...even ifyou ARE lazy.

Kyugan: Too lazy to torture you. (Que cry of joy from Kakashi) So I hired a professional, watch where you're standing.

Kakashi: Eh? (looks down to see a shadow with eyes looking at him) What the?! hey! Why's my voice so high!

Alessi: Hmhm, you stood on my shadow for about ten secods...you're less than six years old now. (Pulls out an axe and grins) Hmhmhm...Impressive.

Kyugan: Roll camera.

* * *

Training concludes; the finals begin!

"You want to teach me more?" Domon repeated, blinking at his enigmatic sensei in confusion. The man nodded, his face impassive.

"You have tremendous potential," he explained, "only one other man mastered the technique within a week, and he never took his training to the next level."

Domon frowned for a moment or so, and then grinned, holding up a bandaged fist. "Thank's but no thanks!" he boasted, "I've already mastered the Futae no Kiwami!"

The priest raised an eyebrow, looking interested, "Mastered you say?" His face set into a terrifying scowl, causing Domon to shiver. "Don't get presumptuous!" The giant man slammed his feet down and pulverized the earth; he spun slightly and smashed his elbow into a boulder, reducing it to dust.

"You think mastering the Futae Kiwami is limited to punches?" the man muttered, straightening up, "what if your hands are being held?" He scowled at the genin, holding his gaze in a grip like steel. "I could perform the technique with a head-butt, if I so wished."

Domon shivered, eyeing the craters caused by the demonstration and gulping in fear. 'That kinda power,' the teen marveled, 'unreal!'

"What say you?" the priest asked, causing the giant to blink, "Will you continue your training?"

Domon eyed the man and the rubble that surrounded him for a moment, before frowning. "One thing though," he asked, "I feel kinda dumb training with someone and not knowing their name" He smirked, pointing a finger at the man he had come to regard as his sensei. "You even got one," he mocked, "Mr. Corrupt Priest?"

The priest snorted, smiling slightly at the title. "Yukyuzan Anji" he replied, before moving into a fighting stance.

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Recca sat, brows furrowed in concentration. He was nearing the end of the training, and already he felt as if he was about to collapse. The teen hadn't eaten or drank for over six days, and until sunset today, he wouldn't be able to. If it weren't for the unique circumstances of the exercise, his body would've collapsed days ago.

'Gotta focus…' he muttered, 'it's only for a few more hours…' His stomach growled in discomfort, causing him to wince as images of his favorite foods paraded across his view doing the cancan, fishnet tights and all. 'Dammit Koku! This ain't funny!'

"What are you doing, Recca?" the old man's voice asked, sounding confused, snapping the enjutsu-shi out of his rant.

The teen opened his eyes and glared at the elderly Karyuu, wondering if senility had finally settled in after over 600 years. "What you told me to do!" he all but screamed, "I've been meditating since you left!"

Koku blinked, a look of incredulous disbelief on his face. "Recca," he deadpanned, "that was over ten day's ago…"

"NANI?!" Recca yelled, wincing at the sudden lack of concentration, before blinking in surprise. The flames were still covering him, making it appear like his body was surrounded by a blazing aura.

(Think Zeru from YYH)

"Hoh…?" Koku muttered, intrigued; "It would appear you've unlocked the special ability of your own flame…" He tossed a twig at the figure, watching appreciatively as it was incinerated upon impact. "Honnou no Yoroi…" the Karyuu muttered, "A flame that can both protect the user, and damage his opponents…impressive!"

He grinned at Recca, looking as proud as a grandfather at his grandchild's first steps. "You should feel proud of yourself Recca;" he praised, "this is a one of a kind flame!"

Recca didn't share in the old man's praises however. He merely gazed at his hands, a frown on his face, causing Koku to blink. "This flame…" the teen muttered, frown deepening and causing Koku to feel a little worried.

"What is it, Recca?" the old man asked, looking concerned.

Recca gazed at his hands a moment longer, before looking up sheepishly, sweat dropping. "How do you turn it off?"

Koku face faulted, leg twitching slightly at the sheer absurdity of the teen's comment.

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Naruto had decided to take a breather and was currently bathing under the waterfall, wincing as his bruises stung. 'Too bad the hot springs are too close to Konoha,' the boy muttered, 'I can't risk being followed back here.'

The youth had discovered, the hard way, that running up a waterfall was on a completely different level from tree and water walking. Each indiviual dropet needed to be focused upon, and since he had to start near the bottom, there was less solid flows to get a grip on. As it was, he decided to put off the training to recover from his falls, and was trying to formulate a new strategy when he heard a weird noise.

Tilting his head, his ears having developed a higher level of sensitivity during his training, the blonde listened for it again, 'Sounded like giggling…women?' He wondered, before frowning, 'No…this is a man's voice.'

The blonde heard splashing on the other side of the small forest and decided to investigate, blinking at the number of young women he found splashing in a small river on the other side, playing with a beach ball or sunning themselves on the rocks. 'Since when did this place become a summer camp?' he thought, sweat dropping, until he heard the giggling again, coming from his right.

A large bear of a man, with a veritable mane of white hair, was peeking through the bushes at the girls. There was a flush on his cheeks, which were adorned with red markings that started under his eyes. The headband on his head held the kanji for oil, and he wore wooden sandals, a green shinobi gi, and a red, sleeveless kimono top, giving him the appearance of a kabuki player.

Naruto frowned at the sight, ignoring the twinge in his stomach. 'Perverts…' the blonde muttered, 'why do I always bump into perverts?'

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The old letch in the bushes giggled, a healthy flush adorning his cheeks as he used his telescope to zoom in on the shapely curves of the females below. "Heh-heh…this is a wonderful spot!" he chuckled not noticing he'd been spotted himself, "Such a marvelous view!"

"Too bad you're ruining it, ossan." A voice muttered behind him, before something kicked the startled man in the rump, quite painfully, sending him flying through the air.

Naruto blinked as the man sailed out of the bush and crashed headfirst onto opposite shore, startling the girls, who fled, leaving their things behind.

"Whoops," the blonde uttered, sweat dropping, "gotta watch my strength there…"

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"BAKAYARO!" the indignant pervert roared, a bandage on his head the only sign of any injury, "You completely ruined everything!"

Naruto wiped spittle off his cheek and frowned. "If you're going to spy on girls, then you should expect to be punished if you're caught." The blonde reasoned, not intimidated in the slightest.

The man sniffed and crossed his arms, looking insulted. "It wasn't peeping!" he protested, "It was research!"

Naruto cocked an eyebrow, staring at the man incredulously. "Research?" he repeated, dreading the answer.

The man smirked, reaching into his coat as he did so. "I'm a writer!" he proclaimed, "I write books…" He yanked something out of his kimono top and grinned as he held it out to show the blonde with a flourish. "Like this one!"

Naruto's eyes bulged at the VERY familiar orange book the letch was holding.

'Heh! The brat's so shocked he can't even speak!' the figure preened, mistaking the look of disbelief for awe, 'He's probably never met a celebrity before!'

"You write that dime store smut?!" Naruto screeched, scaring several birds into the sky.

The man scowled, rubbing a finger in his ear to get his hearing back, though he was mildly impressed at the blonde's lungpower. "It isn't dime store smut!" he yelled, insulted to his very core, "Each copy of this marvelous piece of artwork sells for well over 5000 ryo!" He smirked, waving at the teen in a dismissive manner. "That's more than a brat like you'll ever make selling newspapers!"

Naruto snorted, shrugging with his hands held out, a smug grin on his face. "Fortunately for me, the pay for genin missions was more tempting," he countered, "I earn that much just for finding the fire Daimyo's wife's damn cat!"

The man blinked, suddenly looking interested in what the blonde had to say. "You're a genin?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow interestedly. Naruto nodded, pointing at himself with his thumb.

"Onime no Naruto, future Hokage!" the blonde proclaimed with a smirk before looking at the old man, "And you are?"

"WHOA THERE!" the man yelled, flipping his hair up, doing a strange dance routine atop a small boulder. "Good question! I am the most holy sennin of the Mount Myoboku toads, otherwise known as the Gama sennin! Nice ta meet ya!"

Crows cawed in the silence that followed, as the man remained in the pose for a good ten minutes and counting. Naruto stared at the man in bewilderment, before blinking. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked, his tone flat with disbelief.

The sennin sniffed, folding his arms and grumbling like a spoiled child. 'Stupid brat,' he muttered, 'not appreciating my dramatic introduction.'

Naruto shrugged, disinterested with the old letch's explanations and was quite eager to see the back of him. "Anyway, I gotta get back to training." He muttered, turning on his heel to walk away.

The sennin blinked, "Training for what?" he asked, looking interested.

"The Chunin exam finals." Naruto replied, earning a surprised look from the old man.

"Really? That time of year already?" the man whistled, "And a shrimp like you made it to the finals?"

Naruto punted the man into the cliff again, this time on purpose.

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"So you're practicing Kenjutsu because your chakra control's screwed up by the seal on your navel." The man muttered, sitting at Naruto's campfire, munching on a fish as reparation for the kick, a second bandage joining the first on his skull.

Naruto nodded, rubbing his stomach with a grimace. "Damn Orochimaru," he cursed aloud, "when I get my hands on that Ero-Hebi…"

The toad sennin smirked as he listened to the blonde rant on about the painful things he had planned for the snake sennin. 'No-one's called him that since Tsunade found the two of us going through her lingerie drawer.' The Sannin chuckled, before wincing, 'Of course he managed to pin the ENTIRE ordeal on me…slippery bastard.'

Shaking his head the sennin nodded, interrupting the part involving a rusty kunai and Japanese leek, though he did file it away for later reference, as it sounded pretty kinky. "I suppose I can help you with that," he conceded, "lemme take a look."

Naruto frowned suspiciously, then pulled off his shirt and channeled some chakra, causing the seals to appear. 'I'll be damned.' the sennin muttered, 'He's the Kyuubi no gaki…' he placed a hand on the seal and smiled sadly. 'Minato…'

Shaking himself out of his memories, the old man grinned, planning on getting revenge for the abuse his poor posterior had suffered. He drew his palm back, blue flames forming on the fingertips. "Hold still" he warned cheerfully, "this MIGHT hurt."

Naruto opened one eye suspiciously, just as the man's fingers rammed into his gut.

"Gogyokaiin!"

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Naruto opened his eyes to see the concerned face of his father standing over him. "That hurt." The blonde muttered, sitting up, causing the Youkai to snort.

"Jiraiya is many things, but all forgiving isn't one of them," he lectured, a small smirk gracing his handsome features, "he most likely did that to make up for the kicks you gave him."

The blonde growled, vowing revenge upon the letch's hide, before blinking at the fox's words. "Waitaminute…Tou-san, do you know that…that Ero-sennin?" he asked in disbelief.

Kyuubi snorted again, looking mildly amused at his son's title for the man. "He was the Yondaime's jounin instructor," he revealed, smirking slightly, "your mother's too."

Naruto blinked, shocked to his core at this little tidbit of information, before he realized someone was calling his name, forcing him to leave the dreamscape as he felt his shoulder being shaken.

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Jiraiya was getting worried that he'd gone to far when the kid's eyes opened, causing him to sigh with relief.

"Whew! You had me worried there brat!" the man muttered, before turning on his heel, waving over his shoulder, "We're even now, see ya!"

"Uzumaki Kushina." The blonde muttered, causing the man to freeze in his tracks. "Do you know of such a person?" Naruto asked, looking for the man's reaction.

Jiraiya turned to face the boy, his face deadly serious, a stark contrast to the look of genial perverseness it normally bore. "Where did you hear that name?" the sennin rumbled, a hint of pain in those old eyes, prompting Naruto to stand up, looking eager.

"You DID know her!"

Jiraiya blinked as the blonde strode forward, staring up at the old man in awe, causing him to step back nervously as his bubble was breached. "Who are you, brat?" the sennin asked, preparing to shunshin the hell out of there at the first hint of anything remotely homosexual.

Naruto blinked, and then nodded, placing a hand on his chest in introduction. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto…" he looked up at the shocked sennin, and nodded again, "I'm her son."

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Domon blocked a punch to the kidneys and winced as the shockwave went through his entire arm. "Use the Futae no Kiwami to cancel out your opponent's blow!" Anji lectured, "Don't just expect me to NOT use it!"

The giant growled and rammed his head into his trainer's, causing a small shockwave. Anji stumbled back, an impressed look on his face.

'In a short space of time, he's managed to replicate the technique using his arms and head…' He blocked the giant's strike with his own, evaluating his progress during the exchange. 'His strength and stamina are incredible for his age…I believe he will master everything within the limit!'

"You're open!" he yelled, ramming a blow into the giant's chest, only to blink as Domon used the Futae no Kiwami on himself, negating the impact.

"Don't just expect me not to learn from my mistakes…Anji!"

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Recca was scarfing down food faster than was humanely possible, the bland rations tasting like nectar after his extended fast.

"Remember Recca, your Honnou no Yoroi is controlled by your willpower." Koku explained, "To summon it, you must focus upon your own inner flame, and to cancel it, you must suppress it accordingly."

Recca nodded, ever since he'd finished the training, Koku had put him through an exercise that granted greater control over his flames, and he could now summon it at will.

"You should refrain from using it if you can help it;" the elderly ninja continued, "unlike the Karyuu, summoning it will not greatly drain your stamina, but the longer you keep it active, the more the draining effect will become." He nodded sagely, his eyes grim with the weight of his many years. "Also, it wouldn't do to show all your aces right off the bat."

Koku looked at the genin and coughed, wondering if he was paying attention. "Do you understand Recca?"

"More food." The teen muttered, holding out his plate expectantly, causing Koku to sweatdrop.

'He really is Ouka…I mean Resshin's son.'

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Jiraiya knelt before the blonde, dumbstruck in every sense of the word. "Little Ku-chan?" he wondered, placing the palms of his hands to the boy's cheeks, "You're her baby?"

Naruto flinched at the 'baby' reference, but nodded nonetheless.

"This can't be…" Jiraiya muttered, "I was told…Minato said that…" The sennin frowned, trying to get a better grip on the situation before him as he placed his hands on the blonde's shoulders. "You didn't die with your mother?" he asked seriously, prompting a shrug from Naruto.

"She gave birth to me, then died." the blonde explained, looking up at the man inquisitively, "You were her sensei…right?"

Jiraiya nodded, seeming to slip into a happy daze at the memories he had of the group. "Yeah…now that I think about it, you look a lot like her," he shrugged lightly, "more like Minato though."

Naruto blinked, never having heard the name before. "Minato?" he prompted, "Who's he?"

"What? Don't you know the name of the village hero?" Jiraiya asked, confused as hell, "He's the yondaime boy! Namikaze Minato!"

Naruto stared at the man in shock, before scowling at the mention of the fourth. "I look like that bastard?" he ground out, eyes flashing blue briefly.

Jiraiya blinked at the venom in the teen's voice, before frowning at the slur on his beloved student, standing to his full height with his hands on his hips. "Oi!" he warned, looking down at the teen, " Is that anyway to speak of a hero?" he asked imperiously.

Naruto scoffed, waving a hand in disgust. "Hero?" he mocked, "Is that what you call a man that seals a demon into a child? That left that child to fend for himself in a village that hated him?" He clenched a hand over the seal, gripping the fabric of his tip between clenched fingers. "Tou-san told me that the Yondaime always hated him for taking Kushina as his bride," Naruto continued, "you expect me to consider him a hero for that?!"

Jiraiya blinked, looking completely lost, hatred for his student aside, this guy wasn't making a lot of sense to the sennin, especially that last comment. "You mean…you aren't Kushina and Minato's child?" he asked, looking at the teen in confusion.

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Naruto exploded.

That's the only way to describe the wave of angry killing intent that filled the valley, followed by a chakra-amplified bellow that had the local wildlife in wave country lifting their heads in alarm.

"THERE'S NO RELATION BETWEEN ME AND THAT BASTARD!" the irate blonde roared, eyes flashing from a stormy blue to terrifying crimson as his chakra fluctuated between that of his human and demonic reserves, "HE SEALED MY FATHER INTO ME WITHOUT EVEN BOTHERING TO FIND OUT WHY HE ATTACKED IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Jiraiya blinked, covering his ears as the realization spread across his face at the blonde's words.

'Did he say…?'

The sennin frowned in thought, the cogs in his perverse brain, usually tied up with his latest piece of pervert-pleasing stationary, shifting into full speed to process what he'd just heard.

'Wait a minute,' he muttered, 'Kushina was always talking about a guy with red hair and eyes…and I do remember Minato glaring at this guy in samurai armor a lot.' He nodded as this trail of thought led to several more answers, 'And Kitsune HAVE been known to take on human forms before…' The sennin's eyes widened as he put two and two together to make a foursome. 'Sweet Mother of Mammaries!'

"You're…Kyuubi's…son?" Jiraiya stuttered, staring at Naruto in shock, "But…that would make you…"

Naruto nodded, having been expecting this since the man started humming to himself.

"A Hanyou, I know."

Jiraiya needed to sit down, he also needed sake and a few women hanging off him in his own opinion, but he'd have to make do without the latter two for now. "All this time," the sennin murmured, almost to himself, "I never realized…" He blinked, face setting into a serious frown as he regarded the blonde carefully.

"You'd better tell me the whole story from the beginning."

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Hinata smiled as she shelled pees with Kagero and Reiran. The girl had been coming over to the Hanabishi's residence since the first meeting, and had found herself comfortable and welcome there.

When her mother died, Hinata had no female role models in her life, her nanny having been executed for failing to protect her during an incident involving a cloud shinobi, causing the maids to keep a respectful distance from the young heiress, lest they incur the wrath of the Hyuuga head. The only Hyuuga female that dared approach the heiress was a strange woman called Suzuka, who seemed to have a lot more privileges than other branch family members.

When Kurenai was made her instructor, she began acting as an older sister for the girl, perhaps even a surrogate mother at times. Kagero was the same, she treated Hinata as an equal despite her being so much older than the girl, and Reiran was always complimenting her on her skill and looks, something she never got at home.

Also, she had yet to see anything more hilarious than Mr. Hanabishi's 'Shigeo-dance', which the man felt inclined to do at the slightest hint of a sad face. It scared her sometimes, how he could apparently pop out from the walls, catching her off guard with his hilarious antics. The girl was, in other words, truly happy for the first time since her mother passed away.

A knock at the door announced the arrival of Kurenai, who'd come to check on her charge.

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"How're you doing, Kurenai-san?" Kagero asked, smiling, prompting the genjutsu expert to smile in return.

"Alright, I just sent Shino home," the curly haired jounin explained, "I figure his clan know more about training their skills than I do." She sat next to Hinata and smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Still no word?"

The girl flushed, knowing what her sensei was implying, and looked back at her hands shyly. "N-no…there's been no word from any of them." She stuttered, her heart sinking with worry for her crush and his friends.

"There's no need to worry." Kagero assured the girl warmly, "My sons are far from fragile, as I'm sure Kakashi-san will vouch, and as for Domon-kun..." The immortal kunoichi laughed weakly at a mental image of the giant teen roaring through Tokyo Godzilla style, flame breath and all. "Well, if anything could physically harm HIM, I wouldn't want to meet it." She noted.

Kurenai, remembering the damage the giant had done to the preliminary arena, laughed weakly, a sweatdrop sliding down the side of her head. Reiran looked up as she heard the kettle whistle, smiling at the genjutsu specialist expectantly. "Would you care to join us for tea?" she asked.

Before the jounin could politely refuse, Hinata looked up, pale eyes eager and pleading. "P-please, Kurenai-sensei?"

The curly haired jounin blinked, surprised at the look in her student's eyes, before smiling.

"Very well."

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The women moved inside and sat around the central fire, where Kurenai noticed the ink painting's hanging on the walls. "You have a fine taste in art, Kagero-san." She complimented, causing the immortal Kunoichi to smile gratefully.

"Thank you," she responded with a small bow, "I personally think Hinata-chan has a lot of talent as an artist."

Kurenai blinked and gazed at her embarrassed student, looking back to the paintings in awe. "You painted these Hinata?" she prompted, earning an embarrassed nod from the Hyuuga heiress.

"She brewed the tea herself as well." Reiran added, smiling at the heiress as she came in with the utensils.

Kurenai looked interested, and took a sip from her cup, sighing at the sweet taste. "This is heavenly Hinata!" she praised, causing the girl to smile shyly.

Kagero grinned, patting Kurenai on the knee in a teasing manner. "Oh yes," The immortal Kunoichi agreed, "she'd make the perfect wife wouldn't she?"

Kurenai raised an eyebrow as her charge went magenta and asked to be excused, dashing off whilst the older woman chuckled. "Sorry," Kagero giggled, "I noticed her apparent crush on Naruto-kun when she first visited." She smiled, gazing after the embarrassed kunoichi with a kind gaze. "I think she and Naruto would make a perfect couple, wouldn't you agree?"

Kurenai didn't know whether to scold the woman for teasing Hinata or laugh at her tactics, she settled for the middle ground, taking another sip of the heavenly tea she'd been offered. "Only if Hinata doesn't get hurt." She replied, "Otherwise I'll be giving Naruto a demonstration in the deadlier genjutsu arts."

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Jiraiya nodded as Naruto finished his tale, secretly wondering if he could incorporate some elements into his latest work. "I see," he muttered, before slowly getting to his feet with a grunt, "well then, what are ya waiting for?"

Naruto blinked up at the grinning sage inquisitively. "You're ninjutsu skills have been ignored right?" Jiraiya prompted, "Well I got a whopper of one to get you back in shape!"

He made a few seals and suddenly a massive orange toad appeared, a scroll in its mouth as it mimicked Jiraiya's stance. "Sign your name in blood and leave your fingerprints on the scroll," the sennin instructed, "and you'll be able to summon the toads like all my other students!"

Naruto, eyes wide at the size of the toad, quickly did as he was told, gazing fondly at the last name on the scroll, which turned out to be his mother's.

"Right!" Jiraiya said, clapping his hands, "Now make the following seals: Boar, dog, bird, monkey and ram, then place your palm on the ground."

Naruto nodded and went through the seals, gathering as much chakra as he could, wanting to impress his mother's sensei on the first try.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

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'**It must be a crime to be this happy.'**

That's what was going through the mind of a particularly large toad as he watched his children play in the massive pool that surrounded his home, smoking his pipe and drinking sake, which one of his many brides poured into a bowl for him.

'**It's a full moon tonight.'** He commented gleefully, **'That means it's spawning season soon!'**

He eyed his brides gleefully and was about to make a suggestion to them when he felt a peculiar, yet familiar tugging sensation from his naval.

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There was a massive explosion, and then a loud angry voice cut through the air, as a massive amphibian appeared in the middle of the training area, looking livid as he wielded a short sword in the air.

"**Jiraiyaaaaaaa! Damn you Jiraiyaaaaaaa!"**

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Sarutobi looked up from his paperwork and gazed out the window. 'That sounded like Gamabunta,' he wondered offhandedly, 'is Jiraiya nearby?' He shrugged and got back to the paperwork, deciding to leave the temperamental amphibian to deal with his equally hotheaded pupil.

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After meeting, greeting and impressing the Frog boss, Naruto had to put up with an awe struck Jiraiya, who promptly exclaimed he was definitely 'Kushina's brat!' as he put it.

"I mean c'mon!" The sennin praised, "Summoning Gamabunta from the start!" He preened his nails vainly, looking like the cat that got the canary. "Like mother like son!" he prompted, "Took Minato two whole days before he could summon anything bigger than Gamakichi, she did it in one, though you obviously take the cake!"

Naruto nodded, the Frog boss's son sitting on his shoulder, the blonde feeding the energetic amphibian rice balls, earning his eternal loyalty from the get go. Jiraiya whirled round, pointing at the duo whilst posing atop a boulder. "It's official!" he postured, a cheesy sunshine backdrop appearing behind him, "You are hereby my new apprentice!"

Naruto looked up, looking disinterested. "Hmm? You say something?" he muttered offhandedly, causing Jiraiya to face fault, a leg twitching erratically in the air.

'Damn,' the sennin cursed, 'Kakashi really IS the brat's sensei!'

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Domon gasped for breath, holding onto Kubikiri Houcho as he glared at the form of Anji, the monk having not broken a sweat yet.

"That sword suits your physique, but it is still an awkward tool to use." Anji muttered offhandedly, "Until you can use it like an extension of your body, I will keep pressing you!"

Domon grunted and rammed the tip into the ground, sending a Toate straight at the man, only for him to counter with his own. "Your mastery of the Futae no Kiwami is humbling," Anji acknowledged, "but do not presume you can defeat me with it!"

Domon cursed and swung the blade up to counter the man's sword, sparks filling the air as the blades clashed in a fit for dominance.

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Recca rammed his flaming fists into Setsuna's face, before tossing the demented Karyuu over his shoulder. "Who's next!" he roared, looking at the other's eagerly.

Saiha was gasping, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "He's come a long way, ne?" the handsome Karyuu noted.

Homura smirked, breathing heavily, but in better shape than his blade-wielding counterpart. "Not bad for a smart-mouthed punk." He admitted..

Madoka grinned, fanning himself lazily as he lay on the sand. "Either that or you guys are losing your touch!" the fat master of the invincible barrier mocked, causing the other two to twitch in annoyance.

"Madoka! I choose you!" Recca called out, pointing dramatically at the chubby ninja. The respective Karyuu face faulted, his legs twitching, whilst the others sweatdropped.

"That," Saiha muttered, eyeing a confused Recca with a deadpan expression, "was just EVIL."

On the ground, Madoka was muttering curses about modern television and electric rodents.

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The day of the exam, the crowd had gathered at the Konoha stadium en masse. It was so packed that people were mugging each other in the street to get a hold of tickets, let alone good seats.

Kiba whistled at the amount of people, glad that Kagero had convinced them to come here early. "Hey, where's Naruto?" he asked, squinting at the arena, "Recca and Domon are missing too!"

Kagero frowned, looking down into the arena in concern. "Kakashi-san and Sasuke-kun as well," the immortal muttered, "though with HIS punctuality, they'll be lucky to make it before the finals end."

Kotetsu and Izumo, who were sitting next to them, snickered, knowing Kakashi would probably be late for his own funeral, whether it would be on purpose was up for debate.

Hinata sat between her friend and Naruto's mother, looking increasingly worried as time seemed to role on without any sign of the trio.

'Naruto-kun,' she thought concernedly, 'where are y-?'

"WHERE'S SASUKE-SAMA?!"

The shy girl squeaked as Ino and Sakura ranted at the absence of the vaunted Uchiha, whilst Kagero winced, covering her ears. "Such noisy children," she remarked, eyeing the two fan girls with mild disapproval. "Could you keep it down?" she asked them in vain, "You're disturbing everyone else."

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Genma snorted, his senbon flicking up and down as he chewed at the tip. "Well now," he muttered, "I suppose we should get this show on the road-eh?"

Just as he was about to turn round, a smoke bomb went off, startling the competitors and spectators alike, the former instantly going on edge in case of an ambush. When it eventually cleared however, the proctor could only groan and shake his head at the sight of what lay before him.

There was traditional Japanese string music playing, and sakura petals were falling from somewhere the senbon chewing Jounin didn't WANT to know. Three figures were posing dramatically, one with both fists on the ground in a running stance in the center; another to the right, holding a tekko to cover his face, and the last to the left, with a katana at his side.

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"Forgive the late entry." Naruto apologized, grinning up at the stunned audience, "The prank-masters are in the house!"

YO-OH!

Tap-tap!

(Tenchi Muyo reference.)

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Well, THAT took longer than expected.

How will the trio fare in the exams? Will they completely own the competition? or will the oposition put up a fight?

Kakashi: Do you REALLY have to ask?

Kyugan: Shut up, you're backing Sasuke, your opinion doesn't count.

Kakashi: (Sulks in a corner) I just KNOW you're fixing the damn fights.

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

Things are certainly heating up for our boys aren't they? Here's hoping they make a killing!

Kakashi: (stamping on Alessi's corpse) Bastard, who the hell do you think you are?

Kyugan: Back to normal are we?

Kakashi: And not in the mood for you. (reches for his porn)

Kyugan: I wouldn't touch that if I were you, (points over at Yoshikage Kira, who is trimming his nails) my friend here just turned your precious porn into a bomb, touch it and you die.

Kakashi: (Scoffs) Yeah right, (touches the book and explodes.)

Josuke: CRAZY DIAMOND!

CD: DORARARARARARA!

Kakashi: (Reforms looking traumatized) Wha-what just happened?!

Kyugan: You are hereby forbidden to read porn in my presence, now go scrub the toilets like a good helper monkey. (turns to Camera) The hell you all looking at?! Roll the tape!

* * *

First round; Naruto versus Neji!

Genma didn't know whether to moan, cry, or burst into peals of laughter.

The trio certainly did live up to their title; making a dramatic entry like that before the judges, where the hell they got the background music he'd never know.

'Though judging from the looks of the crowd,' Genma noticed with a nod, 'they certainly enjoyed that little stunt.' He smirked to himself, hoping to see more from the trio as the finals rolled on.

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Kagero covered her face, trying to suppress the laughter that was building in her chest and failing admirably.

"Gotta say…that was quite the entrance." Kotetsu chuckled, shaking his head bemusedly, "The only one that compares was when Jiraiya of the Sannin first competed."

Izumo moaned, covering his face at the memory. "The idiot actually had Gamabunta appear in the middle of the stadium," he recalled, "almost squashed the fire Daimyo in the process." He winced suddenly, "Leveled half the stadium too." He muttered.

Kotetsu smirked, patting his partner on the back. "He claimed it was, 'pre-emptive thinking', that by beating them when they weren't expecting it, he'd followed the shinobi directive flawlessly."

Izumo shook his head, eyeing the pranksters in the arena in amusement. "Don't think that'll work twice…" he snorted.

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Shikamaru rolled his eyes at the trio's dramatics, taking in their new appearance as he did so.

Domon still wore the brown Shinobi outfit, but the sleeves looked ripped, and his arms had bandages on them that covered his hands and half of his upper arms. The symbol for 'Oni' remained on his back like a badge of honour, matched only by the hokage clan tattoo on his right arm.

Recca was dressed in an outfit similar to what he wore at the Urabatosatsujin, a tight sleeveless shirt over black pants, bandaged at the ankles. The Hokage crest was stitched over the right breast of the shirt in red thread, an image of a dragon on the back of his top.

Naruto's hair had grown out over the course of the month, not enough to tie back, but it looked noticeably longer. He wore the same bottoms as before, but his top was more like a sleeveless gi, and like Recca, bore an image on the back. The difference being, this image was of a fox with nine tails.

'That's not going to go down well…' the lazy genius predicted, hearing the mutters from the crowd that backed up his hypothesis. Turning back to Genma as he held out a sheet of paper, the group listened in as the chunin cleared his throat.

"First up:" the jounin read aloud, "Uzumaki Naruto versus Hyuuga Neji."

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Recca and Domon marched up to the fighter's booth, where Fuko promptly greeted them with her usual tact and grace. "WHERE WERE YOU?!" the Fuujin mistress yelled, hands on her hips, "YOU DISSAPEARED FOR A WHOLE MONTH!"

Domon grinned stupidly, and skipped forwards with his arms wide, ready to embrace the love of his life as sparkles filled the air. "Fuko!" he wept, "You care!"

The girl kicked him in the nuts, causing the collective male populace to flinch. "Course I care!" She yelled, grinding her foot into the stricken giant's skull, "I had to put up with Mikagami and Haku making kissy face for the whole damn month!"

Recca blinked and eyed the annoyed swordsman, pointing at him in bewilderment. "You and Haku hooked up?" he muttered, causing his one time rival to flush and look away.

"Don't get the wrong idea," Mikagami muttered, "I still don't like the idea of you and Yanagi being together," he coughed into his fist, "I just won't interfere with her decision." He glared at the enjutsu-shi, showing him Ensui clutched between his delicate fingers. "But if you hurt her…" he trailed off menacingly.

Recca smirked, waving offhandedly at the barely concealed threat. "Yeah, yeah, just try not to pop a rod when you're cutting my head off." He mocked, causing Mikagami to growl and look to the side in distaste.

"Vulgar ape…"

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Neji smirked, eyeing his opponent with the typical Hyuuga superiority. "You have something to say to me?" he asked, noting the anger on the blonde's face.

Naruto scowled, causing the older genin to shiver as he clenched his katana sheathe tightly. "You're going down." The blonde replied, eyes narrowing.

Neji activated his byakugan and looked into the blonde's eyes, frowning at the complete lack of fear he'd been half expecting to find. 'Absolute resolve,' the prodigy deduced, 'he's ready to fight to the death…'

"Match one:" Genma called out, "Begin!"

Naruto stepped to the side, eying the Hyuuga cautiously, earning a snort of amusement from the older genin. "What's the matter? Scared?" Neji taunted, arms loose at his sides, mocking the blonde.

Abruptly, a wall of pressure washed over him, making his eyes, and those of the jounin in the stadium, widen in shock, even as his hair trailed behind him.

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"What the heck?!" Kotetsu muttered, "What the hell was that?!"

Kagero smiled, not looking at the startled chunin at all. "By directing his ki towards his opponent, a master can determine their emotional state, and better assess the situation, like pushing off against a curtain." She looked down, smiling at her adopted son in approval. "Naruto is trying to decided how to tackle this opponent; he's using his head, before his sword."

Kurenai nodded, sending an impressed glance down at the object of Hinata's affections. "It's like the old saying:" she noted, "Swords can only kill one, but tactics can kill a thousand."

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'His stance is light, ready to dodge at a moment's notice," Naruto muttered, eyeing the older genin cautiously, 'I can't attack him blatantly, and getting in close puts me in range of his Jyuken strikes…' He gripped the sword tightly, eyes setting with resolve.

'I have to make him come to me.'

Neji blinked as the blonde made a seal, smirking as ten Naruto's appeared in the arena. "Kage bunshin," he muttered, "I heard of this at the start, you mastered this to pass the genin exam." He eyed them confidently, shaking his head in amusement. "It's your trademark jutsu."

The clones launched forward, swords drawn and crying for blood; the prodigy easily dodged and batted them away, causing them to erupt into smoke with each strike. "You've even managed to evenly distribute your chakra evenly between each clone, making it difficult to tell which is which." Neji noted, "I'll commend you on that at least…however!"

The genius dashed forwards towards one Naruto in particular, a grim expression on his pale features. "You give yourself away by not attacking!"

Jabbing his fingers into the blonde's shoulder the Hyuuga smirked, deeming the match over. "You are foolish." He mocked.

Naruto coughed out blood, then smirked, gazing into the older genin's byakugan mockingly.

"Then what does that make you?"

Neji's confused face changed to one of shock as the blonde disappeared in a puff of smoke. "I've been attacking you from the start!" came two voices behind him, causing the Hyuuga to spin round in surprise, arms half raised in defense.

"Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu: Doryusen!" the two blondes yelled, slamming the ground and sending a hail of earth and stone at the Hyuuga, who leapt back, blocking with his arms.

'Such strength!' Neji thought, eyeing the gouges in the ground from the sword, 'and he's no slouch in the speed department either, taking my back like that!' He landed on his feet and leapt out of the way of one of the blonde's swipes, jabbing him in the head, destroying the clone in a plume of smoke.

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The Sandaime smiled down at the arena; duly impressed with the progress of the two combatants, one in particular catching his eye. 'Naruto-kun,' the aged shinobi noted, 'you've grown into a strong young man…'

He smiled over at the Kazekage, who looked only mildly interested. "Enjoying the show?" Sarutobi asked, ever the gracious host, "Hyuuga Neji was last years top Rookie, and Uzumaki Naruto is this year's number two."

The Kazekage smiled behind his veil, eyes glinting in a knowing manner. "I suppose the Uchiha was first of course?" he assumed, blinking as Sarutobi chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

"Unfortunately for his admirers, no, I think he ranked sixth." He nodded at the fighters' booth, "Mikagami Tokiya is this years number one, quite a sharp young lad too."

The Kazekage scowled slightly and looked away, muttering behind his veil about faulty information.

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Neji glared at the blonde and stepped to the side, blocking another strike with his Jyuken. 'I can't let him take the rear again.' He muttered, watching the blonde's movements carefully.

Naruto returned the glare, eyes never leaving the Hyuuga's; abruptly, several more clones appeared amidst clouds of smoke, swarming the Hyuuga from all sides.

'Where are they all coming from?' Neji cursed, as he swatted them aside, wondering if the blonde was using some sort of genjutsu before noticing something strange about his surroundings.

'The sakura petals,' Neji wondered, dodging a strike to the neck, 'weren't there more earlier?' He smirked in realization, eyeing the surrounding clones in appreciation. 'I see…'

Abruptly, the Hyuuga prodigy spun rapidly, forming a dome of chakra that lifted the clones and the remaining petals into the air.

"KAITEN!"

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Hyuuga Hiashi sat up straight in shock as Neji pulled off the main house's technique flawlessly.

'No one in the main branch would have taught him that,' the patriarch of the clan muttered, frowning down at his twin's sole offspring, 'did he develop the secret on his own?'

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"I'll admit that was clever," Neji admitted, as the last of the petals disappeared in a puff of smoke, "using your entrance to hide the fact you were filling the arena with kage bunshin disguised as petals." He smirked at the scowling blonde, confidence restored tenfold at the discovery. "But you underestimated the strength of the Byakugan."

"Hardly." Naruto muttered in the teen's ear, causing the Hyuuga to leap back to avoid a diagonal slash to the neck.

'He sped up!' the genius wondered, feeling blood trail off his cheek from the near miss.

"I figured you had more up your sleeves than simple Jyuken," Naruto muttered dashing forwards with his sword in one hand, "so I kept attacking until I saw it!"

Using his free hand, the blonde reached into his gi, before hurling shuriken at the genius as he sheathed his sword with the other. The blonde clapped his together in a set of seals, eyes like flints.

'Ram, bird, boar, tiger.' Naruto chanted mentally, as chakra surrounded the projectiles, "Shuriken Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Neji's eyes widened as he was forced to use the Kaiten to deflect the veritable wall of projectiles that the blonde summoned to attack him. As he slowed down however, he frowned at the smug look on his opponents face.

"That move of yours has to eat up a lot of chakra." Naruto deduced, smirking as Neji came to a stop, "How many more times can you use it without exhausting yourself?"

Neji panted and glared at his opponent, obviously annoyed at being cornered again so quickly. "Kisama," he muttered, glaring defiantly at the blond upstart, "you think you can defy destiny?"

Naruto smirked, pointing at his face with his thumb as he placed his sword on his shoulder. "Your talking to the kid that spent every waking moment, heck every moment PERIOD, fearing for his life as a child." He shot the Hyuuga a self-confidant look, "I don't believe in destiny."

Neji blinked, then laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "Every moment?" he asked, sounding oddly amused, "Then perhaps you can be made to understand why you can't fight the destiny of your birth."

Naruto frowned, and then blinked as Neji pulled off his Hitai-ate, revealing a mark on his forehead shaped like a Manji, or Buddhist cross.

(Looks something like a swastika, which is why the Anime version had to be edited.)

"What the…?" Naruto muttered, caught off guard, before his eyes narrowed in realization. "A seal." The blonde hissed, his hackles rising and teeth bared in anger.

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Neji smirked, grim humor on his face at the blonde's reaction. "You seem familiar with them." He acknowledged, nodding slightly, "This is the fate of all born into the branch house of the Hyuuga clan, a cursed seal that keeps us under the thumb of the main family."

Neji looked up at the stands, frowning slightly. "Hinata-sama is in the stands watching us," he instructed, "and so is her father, the clan head, Hyuuga Hiashi." The older genin scowled, looking up at his uncle in distaste. "Hiashi-sama, and my father, Hyuuga Hizashi, were twin brothers."

Naruto's eyes snapped open in surprise, looking from the stands to the teen before him. "He's your uncle?"

Neji snorted derisively, closing his eyes as he shrugged. "Yes, but because Hiashi-sama was born a few seconds earlier, he was made a member of the main house," he frowned, "whereas my father, Hizashi, was sentenced to be a branch house member." His fist tightened around his Hitai-ate, anger from the humility that his next words reminded him off resurfacing.

"Then, when Lady Hinata turned three, the curse mark was placed on my head, as it was my father before me." Neji eyed Naruto carefully to see if he was paying attention. "This mark is the symbol of a caged bird," he explained, "and it is the fear of death that keeps the branch house subservient to the main one."

Naruto raised an eyebrow and the Hyuuga elaborated, nodding his head slightly. "The seal is designed so that should a member of the main family desire, he need only make a hand-seal and the mark will destroy the branch member's brain."

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Hinata trembled, fear and sadness emanating from the girl at the revelation of the source of her cousin's hatred. Kagero placed an arm around the girl, trying to comfort her, whilst feeling the bile rise in her throat at the genin's words.

'How can they do this to their own family?' the immortal kunoichi wondered, sending a look of pity towards Naruto's opponent.

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"The mark serves a dual purpose," Neji continued, watching the blonde's eyes to gauge his reaction, "should a branch member die, it seals the byakugan ability off, protecting the Hyuuga Kekkei Genkai from spies and thieves."

He snorted, looking up at the stands mockingly. "Naturally, this is why the branch house exists, as shields for the members of the main branch."

The teen glared at the Hyuuga head, face twisting in to a defiant scowl. "But on that day…!" He clenched his hand around his Hitai-ate, "They went too far!"

Naruto frowned, watching the Hyuuga carefully, "That day?" he stated, intrigued at what could get under the normally stoic Hyuuga's skin.

When Neji calmed down enough, he continued his tale, still glaring up at his uncle in the stands.

"The war with Rai no kuni, the lightning country, had ended, and Kumogakure sent it's top ninja to handle the proceedings," The Hyuuga stated, "it was the same day I received the mark on my head, and learned what it meant." He scowled, remembering that dark day all too well, particularly the pain he'd had to endure.

"That night, someone stole into the main house, and kidnapped Hinata-sama…only to be caught and swiftly killed by Hiashi-sama." Neji smirked mockingly, eyeing his opponent in a sickly amused manner. "And who was this masked kidnapper? The Representative from Kumogakure!"

Naruto's eyes widened in shock, before narrowing in realization as all the pieces came together. "The treaty was a sham," the blonde muttered, "an attempt to secure the secrets of the byakugan for themselves."

Neji nodded, impressed by the blonde's deductions. "Correct, but Kumogakure expressed surprise at this, 'Blatant Assault', and there were fears of another war breaking out." His face grew cold as he glared at the stands again.

"Finally, the village council made a backroom bargain with kumogakure; A life for a life in exchange for peace." Neji scowled, looking the blonde in the eyes as he continued. "They wanted the body of Hyuuga Hiashi…and they got it."

Naruto blinked, looking thoroughly confused. "But…didn't you say he was sitting in the…?" He stopped, struck dumb by the implications of Neji's words as his eyes widened in realization.

"No," the blonde muttered, looking up at the stands in horror, "they didn't…"

Neji's face twisted in anger as he glared venomously at the Hyuuga head. "They did," he assured the blonde, "a man WAS killed, and to all appearances he was Hyuuga Hiashi…" He grit his teeth as his grip on his Hitai-ate tightened.

"In truth, it was his twin, Hyuuga Hizashi!"

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Recca's fist's tightened at the Hyuuga's words, face etched in a scowl. "Kagemusha," he muttered bitterly, "man, I really hit the nail on the head back at the tower."

Domon spat, disgusted at what he'd just heard. "The way I see it, Freaky eyes has a damn good reason to hate the main branch." The giant muttered, causing Fuko to nod, feeling sick to her stomach, whilst Mikagami kept his own council.

The representatives from Suna merely shrugged it off, being used to bastards that used their own family for their own gain.

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Naruto lowered his eyes, as the Hyuuga continued his explanation.

"That is what I mean when I speak of destiny;" Neji claimed, "Twin brothers, alike in every way, yet their destinies differed because one was born a few seconds before the other." The elder genin scowled, pointing at his opponent in a superior manner. "That is why you should accept your destiny," he preached, "those who become Hokage, were born to be Hokage, all this nonsense about hard work paying off, and changing yourself, it's all pointless!"

Naruto stood still, not moving a single muscle, before eyeing the Hyuuga with sad, yet calm eyes. "We're the same…you and I." He claimed.

Neji blinked in confusion, not expecting such a reaction from his opponent. "What do you mean?" he demanded, a little shaken at the blonde's tone.

Naruto gripped the front of his shirt, wincing slightly at the sudden weight that filled his stomach. "When I was born," the blonde began, "a seal was placed on me, against my wishes, by a man I respected, no, worshipped, until a short while ago."

Neji's eyes widened as Naruto undid his sash and revealed his navel, the seal appearing there for all to see for the first time.

"Because of this curse," Naruto continued, "I spent every waking moment praying that someone would even look at me, or just have something nice to say." He scowled, biting back the memories as they crowded round him. "Only to get kicked in the teeth and be called 'Demon' and 'monster'."

He looked up at the stands, where he could just make out the grim appearance of his adoptive mother. "Then Kagero Kaa-chan showed up and adopted me." He closed his eyes and smiled gratefully, "It was only a few months ago, but it feels like years after being alone for so long, and thanks to Recca, Domon and the others, I proved to everyone I wasn't the idiot they wanted me to be."

He fastened his clothes back on and smiled at the older teen, the gravity of the situation apparently gone. "I realized then that destiny isn't something that's predetermined," he explained, "but something you claimed with your own two hands."

Neji scowled, disbelief clouding his features as he pointed at the blonde in anger. "You talk nonsense, what proof do you have?" the genius growled, "Just what does that seal signify?"

Naruto sighed, closing his eyes as he braced himself for the worst, when he opened them again the light in those blue orbs was deadly serious.

"This is the seal…"

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Sarutobi's eyes widened as he gripped the sides of his seat in horror. 'What is he doing!?' The Hokage yelled mentally, 'And in public no less!'

The elderly Hokage moved as if to leap out of his chair, the whole arena apparently leaning forwards to listen to the blonde's words.

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"That imprisons the Kyuubi no Youko." Naruto muttered, eyeing the expectant Hyuuga carefully.

Neji's eyes bulged, as he took a step back defensively. "The…Kyuubi?" he gasped, arms raised as if to ward the name away.

Naruto smiled sadly, gripping the front of his gi again. "Scary huh? The fox that almost destroyed the village, now sealed inside one little boy, who had to grow up alone, shunned by everyone." He snorted, a look of mild annoyance crossing his features as he tapped the handle of his sword.

"When I found out, I really thought of getting back at everyone in this village for what they put me through." His smirk grew more vicious as the collective populace of Konoha held their breath in horror, knowing full well what they had done and what the implications could lead to. "I think I'd be well within my rights to, oh say…" the grin took on a distinctly vulpine leer, "BUTCHER a few here and there…"

Neji shivered at the look on the blondes face, killing intent wafting off him in waves, wishing he were anywhere else in the world than in the arena right now, as the blonde's leer grew particularly sadistic.

"In fact," Naruto added, looking over his shoulder, "I've got something to say to them right now…" He turned his head in a semicircle, leering at the audience and causing many to either wet themselves in terror or make a dash for the exits, before making a silly face and giving them the finger. "PSYCHE!"

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Sarutobi sweatdropped as the residents of Konoha, as one, face faulted, causing the stadium to shake. 'He certainly is a strange one.' The elder muttered, falling back into his chair with a relieved groan.

Heart attacks can be a bitch, can't they?

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"You bastards aren't worth the effort it would take for me to actually GET that angry." Naruto chuckled, "Besides, I can't become Hokage if I kill off the people I'm supposed to protect."

He smiled at Neji, all the malice from before apparently evaporating without a trace. "Leading by fear is for cowards," he bragged, "I'll EARN my way to being Hokage, even if I have to prove it to the entire world!"

Neji blinked, completely caught off guard by the blonde's statement. "Naruto…"

The Hanyou moved into a stance, smile changing to a smirk as he gripped his sword in readiness. "Don't get me wrong," he assured the prodigy, "I'm still gonna kick your ass for what you did to Hinata." He grinned, humor filling every line of his face, "After that though…what say we grab a bowl of Ramen at Ichiraku's?"

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Kotetsu whistled, sweating slightly as he convinced his heart to drop from mach five to something a little more comfortable. "Kid's got guts," he complimented weakly, "breaking the vow in front of lord Hokage like that."

"Technically it only ever applied to adults." Izumo muttered, grinning wryly, "Besides, look at the Hyuuga, he looks like he saw a ghost!"

Kurenai smirked, recognizing this tactic and applauding the blonde on his deviousness. 'Psychological warfare' she muttered, smiling, 'he used Neji's own tactic against him.'

The genjutsu specialist flinched and looked down at Hinata, whose eyes were wide with shock. 'Though in breaking the Sandaime's law, he also revealed his secret to his peers.' She sighed as she looked down at the blonde Jinchuuriki with concern. 'Will he accepted by them? Or reviled?'

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Neji, for once in his life, found himself questioning his own beliefs.

'This guy,' he wondered, 'from the moment of his birth has had to suffer for another person's crimes, and because of an event that had nothing to do with him at the time…' He stared at the smiling blonde in wonder, not a hint of pain showed in those blue eyes, ringed with a red halo.

'And yet, he bears no ill will towards his one time persecutors,' the Hyuuga wondered, 'he still desires to become the village's champion, though he would most likely have to do it come hell and high water.'

The Hyuuga prodigy gazed at his hands, as if seeing them for the first time in his life.

'Just…what have I…been fighting for…?'

"Oi," Naruto called out, looking annoyed, "earth to the Hyuuga branch house member!"

Neji blinked and looked up, into Naruto's smirking face. "Don't zone out on me now," the blonde mocked, "we gotta finish this and make it look good for the old guys at the top." He moved into the battojutsu stance, face becoming serious. "So why don't you quit holding back, and show me everything you got?"

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Kotetsu blinked, utterly bamboozled at the blonde's demand. "The Hyuuga was holding back?" he muttered, looking at his partner in crime, who shrugged.

"Don't look at me," Izumo retorted, "I'm as confused as you are!"

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Neji blinked, staring at the blonde in wonder. "Uzumaki…Naruto…" He smirked, his old confidence returning somewhat, before moving into a completely different stance.

"Very well," the genius responded, "I shall honour you with my greatest Taijutsu technique!"

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Hiashi stared in shock at his estranged Nephew, actually leaning forwards in his surprise to get a better look.

'Masaka! That's-!"

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"Jyuken-ryu!" Neji called out, "Hakke Rokujuu Yonshou!"

He dashed forwards and hit the blonde on the chest with his extended fingers.

"Hakke Nishou!"

Naruto stumbled back, spitting out blood, caught off guard by the older genin's speed.

"Yonshou!" Neji called out, landing blows continuously at close quarters. "Hachishou!"

Naruto stumbled back as the onslaught continued.

"Jyuurokushou!"

Neji seemed to go up a gear as the myriad of Jyuken strikes actually produced visible chakra spikes as they impacted with the blonde.

"Sanjyuunishou!"

The older genin spun once, then landed the final blows, sending the blonde flying backwards.

"Rokujyuuyonshou!"

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Hiashi stared down at the young man that resembled a younger version of himself and sighed, gazing heavenwards.

'Have we been surpassed, by this member of the branch family?' he wondered, before closing his eyes, 'Hizashi…were you truly the true heir to the Hyuuga family?'

Hyuuga Hanabi looked from her father to her cousin and frowned, not liking the fact that the teen had surpassed everything the main house stood for.

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Neji looked towards Genma, nodding respectfully. "Proctor, call the match;" He pointed towards the limp form of Naruto, "He can't move or summon Chakra, this match is-what?!"

The Naruto on the floor disappeared in a puff of smoke, revealing itself as a bunshin. "Where is he?" Neji thought out loud, bewildered, "Above? Behind me?!"

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"Below." Domon muttered, grinning like a shark at a nudist beach, just as his blonde teammate launched out of the ground like a jet propelled gopher.

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"Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu!" Naruto roared, grabbing his sword, "Ryushosen!"

Neji felt his teeth clack together as the flat of Naruto's sword rammed into his jaw, sending him flying upwards along with the blonde's momentum. The older Genin soared limply upwards, curving slightly in mid-air before falling onto a mob of waiting kage bunshin, who lowered him to the ground.

Neji coughed, feeling his teeth rattle as he tried to focus on the blonde. "I should have known." He muttered, "Kage bunshin…your trademark after all."

Naruto sheathed his sword slowly, looking down at his opponent almost reverently. "I failed the genin exam at the academy three times," he explained, "because there was always a jutsu on the damn thing I couldn't do." He scowled up at the stands, as if hoping to set the perpetrators alight. "Never mind the teachers rigging the written papers."

Neji blinked as the blonde sheathed his word with a snap.

"Bunshin no jutsu" Naruto said, smirking at the Hyuuga, "that one always got me good."

The fallen prodigy felt his eyes widen as the blonde smiled at him. "You can do the same," Naruto urged, a ray of sunshine behind him, "forget the past and clutch the future with your own hands…"

Neji stared in wonder, as the blonde watched a bird fly out of a tree. "Even a caged bird can be free, if it picks the lock with its beak." Genma muttered, "That's what Naruto's telling you."

As the shocked Hyuuga stared at the birds flying away, the senbon chewing Jounin announced Naruto as the victor of the match.

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Sarutobi smiled at the blonde as he helped escort his former opponent out of the arena with the Kage bunshin jutsu.

'Kushina,' the elderly shinobi noted, 'your son has inherited your warm heart, along with his father's frightening strength.' He chuckled, tilting his hat slightly in amusement. 'If this keeps up, I may have to fight him to kept my position as Hokage…and I'm not so sure I could win!'

Beside the venerable elder, the Kazekage was drilling holes into the blonde with his eyes, clutching the edge of his seat in agitation.

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In the stands, Hyuuga Suzuka watched her son be escorted of the field by his onetime opponent, smiling at the look of contentment that was on his face. 'You have finally discovered that destiny is not cast in stone.' She muttered, 'and now you walk upon the path that few dare to tread: your own.'

She looked up as she spotted Hiashi stand up and make his way to the stairs, deciding to follow him. She blinked as she saw him enter the medic room, before leaning against the door to listen in.

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"This is the true tale of what happened." Hiashi muttered, placing a scroll next to his wary nephew. Neji scowled at it before recognizing the handwriting on the side. Opening the scroll and running his eyes over the contents, he scowled and glared at his uncle.

"You expect me to believe this?!" he yelled, throwing the scroll at the shocked man's feet, "You sold out your own brother just to save your own hide!"

"That is not true!"

The two Hyuuga's blinked as Suzuka entered the room, looking breathless and angry. "Hahaue?" Neji wondered aloud, "What are you-?"

SLAP!

Neji blinked, holding a hand to his cheek as he stared at his mother in confusion.

"It isn't a lie." Suzuka chastised, "I remember that day like it was yesterday…"

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_"Where is the strong, aggressive lord Hiashi I know?" Hizashi mocked, grinning slightly at his brother's hesitation._

_"I-I've never faced anything this huge before!" Hiashi countered, gazing at his twin emotionally, "It's not that easy-!"_

_WHAK!_

_Everyone assembled watched in amazement as Hizashi broke clan taboo and struck his twin and leader in the stomach. Suzuka winced, looking between her beloved and his twin as Hiashi fell to the floor._

_"But-you still have Neji to live for!" Hiashi begged, trying to make his sibling see reason, "Why choose death?!"_

_"You misunderstand." Hizashi countered, "I have always resented the main house…to be honest, I abhor it still."_

_The assorted Hyuuga grimaced, several preparing to silence the man if he moved to strike the leader, only to blink at his next words._

_"And that is why…I chose to die protecting my older brother, NOT the head of the MAIN branch."_

_Suzuka placed a hand to her mouth, tears running down her cheeks as her husband finished his explanation and walked past her, smiling sadly. __"Forgive me, Suzuka." He begged, "I wanted to show Neji more of the world…I only pray, that he sees the light this world has to offer, rather than the darkness that almost claimed me."_

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"He died within the hour." Suzuka wept, "He drank the poison of his own accord, a special draft that granted a swift, painless death, as simple as falling asleep."

Neji stared at his mother in shock, before looking towards his uncle for confirmation, blinking in shock at the sight of the Hyuuga head bowing before him, head on the floor.

"Please believe me," Hiashi begged, "Given the chance, I would have gladly accepted death."

Neji stared at his uncle in awe, before turning aside, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Please…raise your head…Uncle."

Suzuka smiled as Hiashi stared up at his nephew, as if for the first time. 'Kushina-san,' she wept, 'even in death your influence carries on in your son.'

The Woman smiled as she recalled her teammate fondly, and the many times they had pummeled their sensei and teammate for spying on them at the onsen.

'I wonder if Sensei still has that limp from when she stabbed him in the rear?' Suzuka wondered, before shivering, not wanting to dwell on THAT area for reasons she'd rather not explain. 'No matter,' she reasoned, 'my family is together again, for the first time in almost ten years.' She gazed out the window and smiled as she watched the birds fly heavenward, where she could almost make out the faces of her husband and teammate gazing down at her.

'Arigato…Naruto-kun.'

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And thus, the first round comes to a close.

Suzuka was merely an OC used to move the plot forward, she'll probably not appear again, but I figured Neji's acceptance of Hiashi's words seemed a little too easy, so I fleshed it out.

How will the rest of the fights go? Tune in next time to find out!

Kakashi: (pressed in apron and hair net) Toilets are clean.

Kyugan: Good, now you can read your porn.

Kakashi: (Chibified) YAY! (Grabs porn, Explodes)

CD: DORARARARARARARA!

Kyugan: (Eyes the twitching form in amusement) They never learn do they?

* * *


	20. Chapter 20

Seriously, the person who invented exams should be shot, revived then shot again.

Kakashi: But then how would you know who was eligible to succeed? (Blinks as a shadow appears over him) Ara?

Dio: ROAD ROLLER DA!

Kakashi: WTf-?! (Squelch)

Dio: MUDAH-MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA-MUDAH!

(road roller explodes, revealing Kakashi's charred, battered corpse.)

Josuke: Crazy Diamond!

CD: DORA! (Pummels kakashi back to conciousness.)

Kyugan: (Sighs) the things I do to amuse you people.

Kakashi: I'M AWAKE! DEAR GOD I'M AWAKE!

* * *

Second round; the raging winds!

Naruto grinned as he entered the fighter's booth, pulling off a cheeky salute. "Miss me?" he called out nodding to his teammates cheekily.

"Damn clever squirt," Domon opined with a snort, shaking his head appreciatively "if that doesn't bag you the chunin title nothing will!"

Recca grinned and put the blonde in a headlock. "You been holding out on me squirt?!" he demanded, rubbing his knuckles into the blonde's skull.

"Itai!" Naruto yelled, struggling to get out of the older teen's grip, "Nii-san! My neck!"

Fuko chuckled as the two roughhoused, eyeing her friend and rival warmly. 'Recca…you always did have a way with people' she thought with a smile, 'I shouldn't be surprised that you enjoy being a brother.'

Tokiya eyed the struggling blonde carefully, an appreciative gleam in his eyes. 'His sword speed has progressed a great deal from the preliminaries,' he noted, 'I almost couldn't follow.' He frowned at the foreign shinobi, noting the looks of concern on the faces of the older two. 'But the cat's out of the bag now…or should I say the fox?'

He looked up at the Hokage booth and scowled, annoyed at the situation. 'Naruto had to choose now to defy the Sandaime's law…when another country's lord could easily use that to his advantage.' The swordsman snorted, shaking his head in dismissal. 'He's either very brave…or incredibly foolish.'

The teen sweatdropped as Recca and Naruto got into a fistfight, forming a massive dust cloud, random body parts visible at different intervals. 'Most likely both;' he acknowledged, 'like a certain baka-Saru I know.'

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"Second Round: Kirisawa Fuko versus Temari!" Genma called out, "Could the contestants please enter the stadium?"

Temari leapt out of the podium, using her giant fan to float down gently, eliciting an appreciative 'Ooh!' from the crowed. "You going to come down, or do I win by forfeit you ugly bitch?" the blonde Suna kunoichi taunted, smirking confidently up at the fighter's booth.

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All the Konoha finalists, with the exception of Shino and Shikamaru, froze in horror at the foreign kunoichi's words.

"Did she just…" Recca asked, his voice sounding high pitched.

"Call Fuko…" Naruto continued, trembling.

"…Ugly…?" Domon squeaked, his skin paler than a corpse.

Mikagami shivered, and began muttering a prayer under his breath, eyes closed tightly as possible.

Fuko's face couldn't be seen by anyone, but as she turned to face the arena Kankurou got a good look, and lost ten years off his life from what he saw.

'Temari…you are SO boned…!' he muttered, whimpering as a tendril of darkness slithered past him.

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Fuko leapt into the ring and walked calmly up to her blonde opponent, bangs covering her face, causing Temari to snort.

"S'matter?" the eldest Suna sibling taunted, leaning over slightly, "Scared?"

Fuko said nothing, not raising her head at all as she began to speak. "What…did you call me?" she asked, tone low and dangerous, causing the blonde to snort again.

"You deaf as well as ugly?" Temari muttered, tapping her fan on the ground mockingly.

The Konoha kunoichi remained silent for about a minute, before raising her head and smiling cutely, a small vein pulsing over her head.

"Just wanted to check!"

Genma, shivering at the passing resemblance to a younger Anko, raised a hand, wanting to get this over with quickly.

"Second match; start!"

The second the words had left his lips, Temari leapt back and flipped her fan out fully, smirking as she swung it with both hands. "Ninpou:" she called out, channelling chakra into the fan, "Kamaitachi!"

A massive wall of wind hurtled towards Fuko, who was knocked skyward amongst the debris. "Hmmph, too easy." Temari muttered only to jolt as three senbon rammed into her arm, causing her to cry out in pain.

"Nice of you to give me a boost." Came a voice, causing the blonde kunoichi to stare up in shock. Fuko smiled down at her startled opponent, apparently sitting in mid-air, on leg over the other.

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"What the heck?!" Kotetsu sputtered, "How's she doing that?!"

Izumo's eyes were bulging out of his skull, as he shook his head rapidly. "I should know?!" he yelped whilst Kagero smiled, enjoying their reactions to the girl's talents.

"Fuko-chan has always had a habit of surprising people with her mastery of the wind," she commented, "I'm hardly surprised she found a way to use it in such a way."

Kotetsu blinked, pointing down at the two in the arena warily. "Both those girls are wind users?" he asked, before shivering, "Things are about to get a little turbulent in here."

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Temari stammered at the sight before her, her brain trying to contradict what her eyes were seeing. "H-how-" she pointed a trembling finger at the brunette, "how are you doing that?!"

Fuko blinked, putting on a look of mock confusion. "Doing what?" she asked, making a big show of looking everywhere but at herself.

Temari twitched, pointing at her opponent in a rage. "You're sitting in mid-air!" she yelled, her eyes pupil-less with annoyance.

Fuko blinked, then smiled, tilting her head cutely. "What? This?" she waved her hand dismissively, "Something I worked out during the month we had waiting." She smirked, running an eye over the ground below. "Never properly got a chance to use it though, unless you count staying out of Kukai-sensei's reach."

The Fuujin mistress moved out of the sitting pose to appear standing up, faint outlines of wind surrounding her limbs as she moved.

"Kirisawa Fuko's original technique," she called out, "Ninpou: Bukuu jutsu!" She smirked down at the startled Suna kunoichi, holding up another set of senbon. "You shouldn't underestimate my name!"

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Sarutobi raised an eyebrow at the girl, as she hovered ten feet above her opponent. 'She has surrounded herself in a miniature tornado, and is sending a constant stream of chakra downwards through the current.' The elder analyzed, years of experience enabling him to decipher the girl's technique at the first glance. 'That is no mere feat, even in theory' he noted appreciatively, 'I couldn't do it in my condition.'

Sarutobi smiled at his younger counterpart, who was looking down at the arena in interest. "Your daughter isn't doing so well, Kazekage-dono." He opined, a little TOO cheerfully to be seen as diplomatic, causing the blue robed Kage to regard Sarutobi from behind his veil, eyes narrowing in what could be seen as humor, if you were a jackal.

"Let us see…"

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'Crap!' Temari hissed, glaring up at the cheeky bitch she had to fight, 'the brat's of this village aren't the pushovers Baki told us they would be!' She scowled up at the booth, feeling a shiver go up her spine. 'First that blonde monster, and now this freak?' Yanking out the senbon in her arm, she hurled them back at Fuko whilst dodging to the side in a feint. 'Gotta put some distance between us!'

"Where are you going?" a voice whispered coyly in the blonde's ear. Temari could only blink in shock as Fuko delivered a spinning heel kick to her midriff, causing her to sail backwards whilst holding her stomach.

'Fast!' the older blonde muttered, back flipping with a grunt and unfolding her fan. "Dai-Kamaitachi!"

The blast of air caused several trees to fall over, but Fuko managed to use the rest as cover, smirking the whole time. "Is passing wind all you're good for?" she taunted, "So un-ladylike!"

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Recca twitched, a deadpan look on his face as he crossed his arms. "Oi…you weren't much different to start with…" he muttered, Domon nodding sagely at his side.

"Fuko's a tomboy through and through." the giant murmured solemnly, "She's about as delicate as a hammer." He then completely ruined the moment by making a goofy face. "She just needs the right man ta smooth down the edges!"

"Or blunt them off your head." Mikagami opined, causing the giant to face fault and Naruto to laugh.

Gaara eyed the cheerful blonde with a wary gaze. 'This one has suffered as I have,' he noted with a frown, 'and yet he laughs it off so easily. He chooses to earn respect, when he could just as easily demand it…'

The Ichibi no Jinchuuriki scowled at the blonde vessel in irritation. 'Uzumaki Naruto…' he muttered, 'Why are you so strong…how did you become so strong?'

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Fuko grinned and decided it was time to up the ante a little, since she was getting bored just waiting for Temari to run out of chakra. "Come on!" she implored, smiling playfully the entire time, "I spent all that time training hoping you could put up a better fight than this!" she raised a finger beckoningly, "Don't tell me the only air you're good at using is your own?"

Temari snarled and would have replied witha a balst of wind were it not for her senses screaming at her to duck. As it were, she leapt aside, dodging three senbon that launched at her from the bushes, and was preparing to swing her fan at her opponent when she felt something sharp jab into her spine.

'H-how did she-?!' the blonde kunoichi wondered, before blining as she felt the telltale signs of rotating wind chakra behind her, "B-Bakana! Chakra senbon?!"

"Kaze no Tsume." Fuko's voice called out, "Something of a trademark of mine, senbon composed from rotating air molecules." She smirked as she came out into the open, "And as you can quite plainly see, capable of changing directions in mid-flight."

She held up her arm and formed another set of Senbon, kissing the Fujin for luck before smiling coyly down at her opponent. "Care to play tag?" She asked, "I gotta warn you though, I play for keeps."

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Shikamaru shivered as he watched the twisted kunoichi dig into her hapless opponent. "Man, I really don't wanna fight her…" he muttered, shivering at the blonde's cries of pain. "Why do all girls have to be so damn troublesome?!"

Naruto snickered, enjoying the look on the lazy genin's face, and then yelped in horror as he remembered something important. "SHIT!" he yelled eyes widening in horror, "I have to fight Fuko in the next round!"

Domon, somehow finding a Buddhist monk outfit, began chanting a sutra over a small shrine with Naruto's picture over it, ringing a bell mournfully.

"OI!" The blonde yelled, flailing his arms around in a panic, "That ain't helping!"

Recca snorted, waving a hand dismissively, "Yeah, you forgot the incense." He teased, grinning the entire time.

"ANIKI!" Naruto yelled, looking distraught, until he head Mikagami sigh exasperatedly from behind, turnging to face the swordsman in confusion.

"Relax Naruto," the swordsman muttered, causing the blonde to smile at him gratefully before he smirked coyly, "At the very least, it'll be quick."

Kankurou sweatdropped, unable to comprehend the laid back attitude of the Konoha genin. He marveled at the ease at which they teased the blonde genin, which by all rights should be an even WORSE monster than Gaara, in favour of their female comrade.

'Then again,' he muttered, looking down at the arena, 'It's not THEIR sister getting carved into down there…'

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Temari swore as she dodged another hail of Kunai and senbon, deflecting most with her fan and hurling them back at the other wind user.

'Dammit! This wasn't supposed to happen!' she swore, rolling to the side again, hating herself for being on the defensive for so long, her pride as a Suna shinobi in shreds 'The Konoha genin were supposed to be pushovers!'

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Flashback

_"At the will of Kazekage-sama, Sunagakure will join with Otogakure, in an act of war against Konoha." Baki briefed them, prior to their trip to the leaf village_.

"_A war?!" Temari cried out, distraught, "Why now? We've sacrificed so much to reach this treaty of alliance! To throw it away only means more will die!"_

_"Shinobi are fundamentally instruments of war," Baki countered eyeing his female charge carefully "this treaty is a threat to our very existence." He sighed, shaking his head, "You genin may not be aware of the details, but the idiotic Wind Daimyo used the treaty as an opportunity to enforce military cutbacks on our village, Sunagakure."_

_The jounin scowled, recalling the decision all to well, as he'd been present for it. "The alliance caused the daimyo to put his trust in Konoha," he explained "forwarding requests and missions to them that he should have been relaying to us, further slashing the flow of funds to his own Nation's shinobi Village, claiming his method was cheaper."_

_Clenching a fist and eyeing it, the jounin's scowl deepned, gritting his teeth in anger. "When the head is foolish, the hands and feet suffer," he recited "in order to retain our military strength, the council had to make reforms to increase the quality of each individual shinobi." His sole visible eye flicked to the scowling redhead in the corner, "It is for that reason that shinobi like yourself were created, Gaara."_

_Temari winced and eyed her little brother carefully, trying not to attract his attention, lest he take it as a sign of weakness, but the redhead merely looked at the floor._

End Flashback

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'Because of these idiots,' Temari growled, glaring at the fat, content people of Konoha like a cornered wolf, 'Gaara has had to suffer…WE have had to suffer!'

The blonde grit her teeth, letting out a roar as she spun her battle fan with every ounce of strength in her arms.

"DAI KAMAITACHI!"

A hurricane formed from the conflicting winds and spun in the center of the stadium, causing the arena to be torn up like so much wet paper. Fuko cursed and braced herself as the wall of wind and dust crashed over her, blocking her from the view of all those watching.

When the wind finally died, the arena looked like it had just been ripped apart in a blender, the trees lying across the arena like scattered twigs. Temari leaned against her fan and tried to catch her breath, thinking the battle to be won before snapping her head up in shock as a bored sigh came from above.

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"That all you got?" Fuko called out, sounding almost bored as she hovered with her arms behind her head in a reclining position. The oldest of the sand siblings staring in shock as the dust was whipped away by a gust of wind, revealing the grinning Fuujin master, virtually unharmed.

"Gotta admit, if I hadn't blocked that last one, I'd be a lot worse off." Fuko admitted, wincing slightly as several cuts appeared on her arms and legs, "Fortunately for me, I got a counter measure."

Abruptly the girl vanished from sight, only for Temari to wince as the business end of a set of wind claws scrapped against her cheek. "I'll give you till three." Fuko warned, waiting for a reply whilst pressing the sides of the claws against the blonde's cheek.

Temari trembled with rage, but lowered her head in defeat. 'I'm no use to the plan if I'm dead,' she muttered, wincing, 'and I can't risk wasting any more chakra.'

Genma snorted and raised his hand in the air, halting the match. 'Hell of a fight.' he muttered, 'something tells me that if they'd been paired up with any of the boys we'd be dealing with a bloodbath...Anko must be kicking herself for missing this.'

"Winner, Kirisawa Fuko!"

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Domon was roaring his praises at the object of his affection, deafening everyone else within earshot. And with the giant's lung capacity, that was somewhere between Konoha and wave country.

"Oi Domon," Recca muttered rubbing his earlobe, "Ya wanna bring it down a notch?"

"Urusei!!" The giant yelled in mid cheer, "Can't you see I'm cheering for Fuko!" He clenched his fist, tears pouring down his cheek like twin waterfalls, reminding the other genin of Gai. "Even with a load of scars, she still looks like an angel!" Domon praised, mind full of nothing but Fuko and not much else.

'Yeah, an angel on steroids.' Recca muttered, laughing weakly at the giant's infatuation with their female colleague.

At the teen's words, Fuko marched into the booth, grinning triumphantly, only to shriek as Domon launched himself at her, capturing her in a bear hug. "Fuko! I knew you could do it!" the giant yelled, rubbing his head against her ample bosom in perverted glee, until she pummeled him in the head.

Fuko winced as her back popped, her hand smoking from the blow. "Dammit Domon! Your head's hard as a friggin rock!" the fuujin mistress complained, waving her poor hand around before glaring at the prone form of the giant, lying on the floor with a pillar of lumps coming out of his skull. "And just what did we say about hugging?" she asked, a little too sweetly.

"Don't?" the giant whimpered, face in the floor with steam rising from a lump the size of a melon.

Shikamaru shivered, watching the two interact with a look of trepidation. 'Mendokuse,' he cursed, 'I REALLY hate women…so damn noisy and bothersome…'

Temari entered the booth after the girl, refusing point blank to see a medic, plopping her self down in a corner where she could recover, whilst keeping an eye on her brothers.

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Genma cleared his throat loudly, and then looked up at the audience apologetically. "Ladies and gentlemen," he called out "due to the damage to the arena, a short intermission is required to restore it to useable condition." He gestured with his hands and nodded, "We ask that you remain patient, and take advantage of the time to stretch your legs and grab a bite or two."

Kagero smiled at Hinata and Kiba, before standing up. "Shall we?" she asked, nodding towards the refreshment stands. Akamaru yipped in agreement and the canine duo followed, before looking back at Hinata, who hadn't budged.

"Oi," Kiba called over his shoulder, looking worried; "you coming Hinata?"

The heiress blinked, and then nodded, getting to her feet with a stutter. "H-hai!"

Kiba winced, never having seen Hinata this shaken before. 'Man, she's taking this Kyuubi thing pretty hard…I mean who'd a thought it?' He shivered at the memory, 'It sure as heck explains why he was always being pushed around at school, and I just figured he messed around a lot!'

Akamaru whined softly and the genin scratched his companion behind the ear. "I know boy," he muttered comfortingly "this makes my head hurt too."

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Hinata was in the process of having her world turned on its head, an unpleasant experience even for the most sturdy of people; add to this the girl's already timid nature and you had a mental breakdown waiting to happen.

'Naruto-kun…has a demon inside him?' she stared at her trembling hands, 'That seal, he said he got it when he was born, but the Kyuubi was defeated by the Yondaime…' The Hyuuga Heiress felt her eyes widen in shocked horror. 'No! The yondaime…he couldn't have…'

She reached out and tapped her teammate on the shoulder with a trembling hand, "K-Kiba-kun…"

The Inuzuka looked over his shoulder at the girl, a smile on his face. "Yeah?"

Hinata looked round and leaned in slightly, not wanting anyone to hear this. "T-the Yondaime," she asked in an uncertain tone, "was a hero…right?"

Kiba frowned, wondering why the girl was whispering. "The hell kinda question is that?" he muttered, causing Hinata to flinch, before looking at him in concern.

"Ano…b-but if he defeated the Kyuubi," she looked her teammate in the eyes, looking stricken at the mere thought of what she was about to say, "then h-how did it get into N-Naruto-kun?"

The Inuzuka blinked, before his eyes widened in realization. "No way…he wouldn't have," the boy clenched his fists, "he couldn't have!"

Akamaru growled and glared at the fourth's face on the monument.

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"I always knew there was something wrong with Naruto!" Sakura yelled slamming a fist into her palm, "It all makes sense! How he managed to score higher than Sasuke-kun, how he beat Kiba!" She clenched her fists; "He's a monster in human form!"

Ino blinked, a little confused by her Rival's logic. "Ano, if that were true then why didn't he kill Kiba?" she pointed out, "Or fight back when we were little for that matter?"

Sakura blinked, wondering why 'Ino-buta' was defending the 'demon' and chalking it up to stress from her fight last month. "Don't you see?!" she yelled, waving her arms over her head, "He's been laying a trap this whole time!" She gripped her hands together; "He's probably biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to-eh?"

The girls blinked at a popping noise to their right, looking round to reveal an annoyed Akimichi Chouji, who was holding the remains of one of his crisp packets in a tightly clenched hand.

Now Ino knew her pudgy teammate rather well, so she knew first hand that Choji would sooner chop off his own lims before wasting good food. For him to do so like this meant he must be pretty pissed off.

"Haruno" the normally laid-back Akimichi growled, sounding like one of the Inuzuka canine's ancestors than normal, "shut your damn mouth!"

Sakura blinked, her brain not comprehending what her ears had just heard. "Wha-what are you saying?" she gestured at the fighters' booth, "He's a monster-!"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU UGLY BITCH!" Chouji roared, eyes full of rage and minute wisps of chakra coming off him as he glared at the kunoichi.

Sakura was so shocked she went all white and 2-d, lightning cracking in the darkened background. The Kanji for 'UGLY?!' loomed behind her like the shadow of death, her own voice echoing the word.

Ino blinked, staring in wonder at her normally placid teammate. The only times she'd ever seen Chouji this upset was when ever someone called him fat, or tried to steal the last potato chip from him. "Chouji," she asked, causing him to look at her, "what's gotten into you?"

The Akimichi snorted and looked down at the fighters' booth. "Naruto's no monster." he grunted, nodding his head sagely, eyes closed, "I got proof of that!"

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Flash back

_A younger version of Chouji is walking down the street, looking miserable. The other kids had refused to let him play ninja again, and Shikamaru hadn't been around to cloud-gaze with, so he figured it'd be better just going home than trying to fit in where he wasn't wanted._

_He was making his way home through the main street when he bumped into someone, causing them to bounce off his plump frame. _"_AH! Gomen!" He muttered, blinking at the blonde on the floor. 'Isn't that the boy Kaa-san told me to stay away from?' he thought, watching as the blonde dusted himself off._

"_No problem!" a younger version of Naruto chirped, " I wasn't watching where I was going!" The blonde grinned, scratching the back of his head as he beamed at the slightly larger boy. "I always forget to watch where I'm going when I'm late for my Ichiraku Ramen!"_

_Chouji blinked at the boy's cheerful attitude, a stark contrast to the tales his mother had told him. 'He doesn't look dangerous to me…' he muttered numbly, blinking as Naruto frowned and looked at the Akimichi closely._

"_Ano-sa," the blonde prompted, "why're you upset?"_

_Chouji blinked, and then huffed, looking away in a sad manner. "They said I'm too fat to play ninja," he mumbled, "so I was going home."_

_The blonde closed his eyes in a fox-like manner, before grabbing the startled Akimichi's wrist. "The best thing for when you're feeling down is Ramen!" he yelled, dragging the larger boy down the alley, "And I got coupons!"_

End Flashback

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"We spent all the coupons there," Chouji muttered, staring reverently up at the sky at the memory "and it was the best ramen I ever had."

Ino sweat dropped as he trailed off, before shaking her head. "Ano, just because he likes ramen doesn't mean he's a good guy Chouji." she pointed out.

Chouji nodded, eyes closed in a sage-like manner. "True," he alloted, "but no-one evil could possibly exist amongst Ichiraku Ramen eaters!"

The blonde kunoichi moaned and covered her face, smiling at the antics of her teammate, whilst Sakura still stood dumbstruck, ignored for the most part by all those around her.

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Tenten gazed down at the booth where Naruto could just barely be seen roughhousing with Recca. 'Naruto…no-one ever managed to really relate to Neji' she looked sad for a moment, 'not even his teammates could get him to really open up.'

She smiled and covered her heart, closing her eyes in contentment. 'But when he fought with you,' she recalled warmly 'Neji truly smiled for the first time.'

Tenten gazed fondly at the ranting blonde, who was stamping on his brother's head in a mad frenzy.

"Thank you."

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In the stands, Baki felt cold sweat run down his cheek.

'There was no information regarding Konoha having its own Jinchuuriki,' he muttered, 'if he responds to a threat like Gaara does…'

The Sand Jounin shivered as the image of one of Gaara's demonic temper-tantrums passed through his mind.

'Heaven help us…just what have we gotten ourselves into?!'

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'The Kyuubi no gaki is stronger than I thought.' Orochimaru muttered from within his disguise as the Yondaime Kazekage, 'Not only him, the level of talent in these Konoha genin is astounding…where did these people come from?'

He gripped the seat in irritation, eyeing the smiling Sandaime with an annoyed glare.

'This was not amidst my calculations,' he muttered at length 'I must ensure that nothing interferes with my obtaining the sharingan and settling accounts with this rat hole.'

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Naruto suffered a sneezing fit that caused Domon to wince. "Cripes squirt, cover your mouth or something!" the giant cursed, eyeing the walls in disgust, "You got snot all over the place!"

Shikamaru scowled and wiped a stray droplet of water, or what he HOPED was water, from his sleeve. "Mendokuse," he moaned, "you really are a pain in the ass, you know that?"

Naruto gave the lazy genin the finger, then wiped his nose on a tissue Mikagami provided.

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After about fifteen minutes, and several heated rows over the budget for maintenance and worker union rights, the arena was restored to a relatively usable condition, and Genma cleared his throat, sending a parting glare after the retreating form of the clean up crew.

"Third match of the finals: Ishijima Domon versus Kinuta Dosu," he announced, nodding towards the fighters' booth, "both fighters, please report to the arena immediately."

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Domon grinned and promptly leapt off the balcony, landing with a crash that caused Genma to stumble, the sheer amount of weight actually casing the arena floor to crack. Dosu, startled, looked down in wonder at the small crater that had formed and shivered.

'This guy,' the sole surviving oto genin predicted warily 'wont be easy.'

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Genma eyed the two genin as they lined up and winced, feeling a pang of sympathy for the shorter of the two, but not enough to call of any bets that had been made oin the match-up.

'Compared to Monstro here,' the senbon chewing chunin muttered, wincing up at Domon's grinning face with the usual nervousness, before shooting the bandaged Dosu a look 'that sound Nin may as well hand in the towel now.'

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Domon twitched his fingers, causing the knuckles and joints to pop, grinning savagely as he loomed over Dosu like a mountain. "I owe you for back in the forest," he rumbled, "you and that damn amplifier of yours."

Dosu winced at the feral look in the giant's eyes, not liking it one bit.

"When I'm done with you," Domon promised with a smirk, eyes shining with the light of the marginally insane, "your gonna really be needing those bandages!"

Genma sighed, announced the start of the third match, before heading for the hills, knowing he couldn't afford to have his health insurance go through the roof.

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And there we have it, Fuko-chan advances, mush to the joy and horror of her friends and colleagues alike. it also seems that Hinata-chan and Kiba have figured something out about the fourth!

Kakashi: Why do you enjoy slandering my master so?

Kyugan: He sealed a DEMON into a BABY, then expected a group of people, without a means to vent their frustrations, NOT to make a target out of said container, do you REALLY want me to answer that question?

Kakashi: Slumps in defeat and reaches for his porn. Explodes on contact.

Kyugan: (sends a look at Kira, who shrugs) Kudos for rigging the trap, but next time wait till I ask you to do it. (nods to Josuke.) You know the drill.

CD: DORA-RARARARARARARARARARA!

Kakashi: (Twitching in pain) why god, why have you forsaken me?

GOD: BECAUSE. YOU. SUCK.

Kyugan: Amen, Halleluiah, Peanut-Butter.

R&R PLZ!!!!

* * *


	21. Chapter 21

Kyugan: Okay, little update before we continue. First: I will update Gaiden and Youko respectively, it's just inspiration is currently in the crapper. Second...yeah I got nothing, on with the show!

Kakashi: Slacker (Headshot with rocket launcher.)

Kyugan: (lowers rocket launcher with the symbol for infinity on the barrel) I don't wanna hear that from you.

* * *

Third round; Breaking the sound barrier!

Dosu leapt back and eyed his opponent carefully.

'Judging from his size alone, it's clear he's a close combat expert, meaning his long range skills are limited to his weapons.' He frowned, eyeing his weapon of choice carefully, 'Unfortunately, my Melody arm isn't as effective at long range either, meaning I need to get up close…'

He shivered briefly; recalling all too well the damage Domon did at the tower. 'And that's plain suicide.' The bandaged sound Nin muttered with a nod, 'Best course of action is to wear him down, his endurance can't be high with a body that bulky.'

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Domon was also watching his opponent, looking for an opening that didn't come.

'Dammit' he cursed, not liking this one bit, 'Don't wanna reveal too much right off the bat, but without the Toate I'm limited to close range attacks.' He scowled at the crouching Dosu; his ire at the partially mummified nin increasing. 'And something tells me the little gnat isn't gonna just stand still.'

With a grunt, the giant pulled out a scroll and bit his thumb, rubbing the blood on the parchment. Within seconds he had Kubikiri Houcho over one shoulder, tucking the scroll away.

'Better get ready, just in case.'

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"WOAH!" Kiba yelped, pointing down at the arena, "Where'd he hide THAT thing?!"

"A storage scroll, much like those Lee-kun's teammate Tenten uses." Kagero replied "They cut down the amount of space needed when transporting objects, and can hold various things."

"I gotta get me one for my room." Kiba muttered with a whistle, causing Kurenai to shake her head.

'It'll take more than one to tidy THAT kennel.' The jounin thought, wincing at the memory, and smell, of Kiba's room, which had been declared a natural disaster zone, the attempted clearing of which had actually been team eight's first mission.

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Dosu quirked an eyebrow at the sight of the massive Zanbato and whistled appreciatively. "Not a bad weapon you have there, Domon." He shrugged, "But with all due respect, I still prefer my own."

Domon said nothing, causing the sound genin to frown, before his eye widened in shock. Dosu let out a yell, startling the spectators as he leapt back a good ten feet.

There was a thunderous crash, followed by a brief cloud of dust and dirt, when it cleared, the tip of Kubikiri Houcho lay where the sound genin had been standing, a crater underneath.

"Fast little rat." Domon muttered, pulling the Zanbato up with one hand and pointing it at his opponent, "But then again, I wasn't expecting that to actually hit."

Dosu shivered, a large cut on the front of his clothes, as he eyed the giant carefully. 'It almost did,' he muttered, 'the giant's a lot faster than he looks!'

Domon smirked and gripped the sword in both hands, charging forwards with a roar.

"Let's do this!"

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"The big guy's strong," Kotetsu admitted with a smirk, "but with a weapon like that, he's way too easy to read."

Izumo nodded, seeing where his partner was aiming at. "Yeah, Zanbato are too awkward for fancy techniques." he agreed, "Slashing vertically or horizontally are what he's limited to."

Kagero frowned for a moment, eyeing the combatants carefully. "Normally that is so…" she admitted, before smirking delicately, "But Domon has never been one to follow the rules."

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Dosu grinned as he dodged another swipe from the giant's sword. "Careless," he taunted; "that bulky weapon will be the death of you."

Domon growled and thrust the sword forwards like a spear, only for Dosu to leap back again, smiling behind his bandages. "You see?" the sound genin taunted, "You can't even reach me-OOMPH!"

Dosu's taunt was cut off when the blade seemed to extend forwards another few feet, ramming into his gut and sending him soaring backwards to land in a heap on the arena floor. Domon grinned at the fallen sound genin, holding the massive Zanbato at the very end of the handle, using his thumb and index finger alone to support it.

"You were saying?"

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Kotetsu whistled, shaking his head in wonder at the feat of strength. "Domon's as strong as he looks, that sword's gotta weigh a tonne at least."

Izumo nodded, having been watching a little closer than his counterpart. "And he used the momentum of the thrust to send the sword darting forwards, catching it at the end so it didn't penetrate."

Kotetsu shook his head, muttering in disbelief. "Whadd'ya expect from one of Kakashi's brats?"

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Dosu swore as he pulled himself to his feet, feeling a few ribs pop from the blow. 'This man…is no fool.' He noted, eyeing Domon critically, 'He knows the limits of the Zanbato, and has developed his own style to counter them.'

The genin's sole visible eye narrowed, "Clever..." He uncovered the melody arm, dashing forwards as he did so. "But not clever enough!"

Dosu dodged a slice that carved open the earth behind him, ramming his arm into the Giant's flank, smirking as he felt the vibrations warp around the target. "There," he bragged, "the shockwave is spreading through your body, all the way to your-eh?"

Domon seemed to bulge for a moment, before the giant exploded violently, much to the shock of the onlookers, and certainly to that of his opponent.

Dosu yelped as he barely avoided having his arm blown off by leaping back, the charred sound Nin stood starring at the crater, a look of bewilderment in his eye. 'What happened?!' he thought wildly, completely taken off guard by this unexpected turn of events.

"Bakuretsu Kage bunshin no jutsu." Domon's voice called out, echoing around the arena, "I picked this up a while ago, but never needed to use it…decided to wing it here though."

Dosu winced, eyeing his surroundings warily, waiting for the giant to make the first move. 'Just what I need,' he muttered sarcastically, 'multiple exploding giants…and the real one's still hiding somewhere.'

He closed his eyes, letting his enhanced sense of hearing guide him to his target. 'Listen for the echo…then coordinate my attack…' his eye snapped open as he felt a slight tremor coming from below. "THERE!"

Dosu slammed his hand down, channeling sound waves into it via his melody arm. The earth cracked, revealing a startled Domon. "You're mine!" the sound genin yelled, channeling his chakra into his melody arm again and swinging at the giant's face. Once again though, he was proven wrong, as the giant detonated, hurling him backwards

"Dammit!" Dosu yelled, rolling to his feet, "Where are you?!"

"Look around." The Giant's voice echoed, prompting the sound genin to blink in shock as a crouching army of Domon clones, swords at the ready, encircled him.

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Recca snorted, shaking his head in bemusement. "Man, he even copied Zabuza's posture." The enjutsu-shi noted, "Old Mohawk head's really getting the swing of that cleaver."

Naruto grinned, placing his arms behind his head. "Would you expect any less?" he asked, prompting Recca to return the grin with interest.

"Not from Oni no Domon." The enjutsu-shi replied, causing Kankurou to raise an eyebrow at the giant's title.

'With that monstrous strength and Zanbato of his,' he sweatdropped, 'not to mention that freaky haircut, I can see why they call him that.'

Gaara seemed mildly intrigued by the giant's prowess, running a teal eye over the proceedings. Temari merely stared at the giant in horror, while Fuko cheered her would-be pursuer on.

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Dosu was using his melody arm to destroy the clones as they tried to approach, a simple enough tactic, but it was slowly wearing away at his chakra. 'This makes no sense,' the genin muttered, 'I should be able to hear his heartbeat at least.' He growled as he destroyed another giant, 'but with so many solid bodies it's hard to focus!'

He noticed one of the Domon clones was staying well back, and considered attacking it when something came to mind, making him pause. 'Wait, this guy's the blonde's teammate right?' the sound genin recalled, eyeing the solitary giant warily, 'So it stands to reason that their strategies should be similar.' He grinned behind his wrappings and charged towards the clone, smirking as at least three clones chased after him. 'I thought so!'

The sound genin whirled round and sent a massive burst of Chakra behind him with the melody arm, before whirling round to face the last Domon. "You won't catch me with that little trick!" he roared, ramming his arm into the giant's side. Domon flinched as the shockwave went through him, causing Dosu to smirk, assuming the battle to be won.

"Game over-eh?!"

At just that moment, a fist flew out from virtually nowhere and rammed into his melody arm.

DOOM!

Dosu stared in shock as his weapon wasn't just destroyed, but reduced to powder. "Dumbass." Domon muttered, his clone disappearing, another holding the sound genin by the shoulder, "I knew you'd try that, it's the only real jutsu you've got!"

The mohawked giant smirked at the stunned expression on Dosu's face, pointing at himself with his thumb. "I may not be the sharpest tool in the pouch," He admitted, "but even I'll notice when a person uses the same attack over and over again."

Dosu winced as the giant loomed over him, his Zanbato over one shoulder.

"And without that damn amplifier," Domon growled, "you got nothing!"

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Recca blinked, scratching his head in confusion as he tried to figure put what Domon had done. "Did anyone catch what he did just there?" he asked, looking round in time to see Naruto shake his head.

"I blinked and the weapon was gone." The blonde admitted, just as confused as his aniki was. Mikagami nodded, looking down at the giant with interest.

"Whatever it is," the swordsman muttered offhandedly, "I can tell he held back." The others looked at him and he pointed at his neck, before clarifying. "Whenever Domon fought, he was consciously pulling his hand back before the impact to lighten the blow, it shows in the way his neck muscles tightened."

Fuko blinked, trying to get her mind around what the swordsman had just said. "He's…thinking?' she asked, as if the sheer idea was ludicrous, prompting a snort from Tokiya.

'I doubt it…' the teen mentally muttered, before shaking his head. "Not so much," he admitted aloud to the kunoichi, "he's FEELING the course of the punch and correcting it." He gazed down at the giant appraisingly, shaking his head slightly. "He's come a long way, for a gorilla."

Shikamaru shivered, feeling a little put on by all that he'd seen. 'If I win this round then I'll have to fight either Sasuke, the ghoul, or Recca next.' He deduced, eyeing the other combatants warily, 'And something tells me that ogre or Naruto will be there as well' He shivered again, looking up at the stands in trepidation. 'But if I just drop out…'

An image of his raging mother towered over him, causing him to slump his shoulders at the No-win situation he was facing.

"Mendokuse…"

Gaara, ignorant of the lazy genin's predicament, eyed the giant carefully, an analytical look in his teal eyes. 'There was something special about that punch,' he muttered, 'I know he's strong but he couldn't pulverize things like that a month ago.' His eyes narrowed in concentration.

'There must be a technique to it.'

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Dosu tried to pull out of the giant's grip, realizing he might as well try to move a mountain with his will alone.

"Give up," Domon muttered, cracking his neck joints, "without that weapon of yours you've got nothing." As the sound Nin continued to struggle the giant scowled, looking irritated. "Calm down!" he barked, "Keep this up and your arm will-!"

CRACK!

Domon blinked as the sound genin apparently dislocated his own arm and slipped out of the clone's hold.

"You think these bandages are just for show?" Dosu asked, smirking despite his dangling limb, "The melody arm IS my only weapon from sound, but that doesn't mean I'm completely wiped out!"

He promptly popped his own arm back into place and leapt back, uncovering it to reveal several weird tubes.

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"Haridoku!" Kotetsu exclaimed, his eyes widening, "Poisoned Senbon launchers!"

Izumo nodded, an appreciative look in his eye. "So he's the resourceful type, if his main weapon breaks he falls back on his standard gear." He winced, "And Domon's caught point blank."

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'I have him now!' Dosu predicted, as the needles hurtled towards the giant, 'He can't dodge them at this range!'

Domon grunted and reared an arm up, aiming a fist at the ground, much to the sound Nin's confusion. 'What's he trying to do?' Dosu muttered, before stumbling as the earth shook.

DOOM!

A wall of rock dust and pebbles shot upwards, blocking the senbon and causing them to fall to the ground.

Domon smirked and stood up from his spot, at the rim of a small crater formed by the blow. "Nice try," he mocked, "but even if you try that a thousand times, I can block it."

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"Wh-What the heck was that?!" Kiba yelped, eyes wider than saucers, "He hit the ground so hard it made the dirt block the senbon?!"

Kagero frowned, having gotten a better view of the proceedings than the Inuzuka. "No," she contradicted, "brute strength couldn't do such a thing, even Domon's." She nodded, gazing at the teen carefully. "My guess is it's the same technique he used on Dosu earlier, applied to defense rather than offense."

Hinata blinked in awe, before looking down at the giant genin in wonder. 'Domon-kun…is strong!' she smiled softly, holding a hand over her heart, 'All of Naruto-kun's friends are strong.'

"Hate to say this," Kotetsu muttered to his partner, "but the big guy's got more surprises in him than the cafeteria twelve bean casserole."

Izumo winced, laughing weakly. "Yeah, but he's using his head and not showing off." The chunin eyed the arena floor and sweatdropped. "Not too much anyway," he amended, "and he's been leading the fight since it started."

Kotetsu smirked, looking down at the fighter's booth appreciatively. "Yeah, and the Kyuubi brat did pretty good as well, using their entrance to lay the field like that…" He shivered, "And those sword techniques, I thought Hayate's 'Mikazuki no mai' was the only Konoha Kenjutsu style."

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The 'Kazekage' was gripping the armrest of his seat with barely restrained fury.

'The Kyuubi no gaki I can understand,' he allotted, 'and that kunoichi certainly had her share of surprises...' The seat's armrest cracked, as the ninja leader of the land of wind's grip increased yet again. 'But how did this…this Nose-ringed MONGOLOID manage to improve so much in such a short space of time?!'

Sarutobi blinked as a cracking noise caught his attention; looking to his right revealed the Kazekage in an agitated state, the armrest of his chair broken, the remains clutched in his twitching hands. "Are you feeling alright, Yondaime Kazekage-dono?" he asked, looking at his younger counterpart in concern, causing the apparently younger man to glare at him for a moment, before relaxing, a smile visible in his eyes.

"Just…surprised at the level of skill your village's genin are displaying." He assured his elderly counterpart.

Sarutobi frowned for a moment, not quite taken in by the façade, before smiling cheerfully and nodding his head. "Yes," he admitted, "hard to believe Domon had only joined the academy during the last year isn't it?"

The Kazekage's eyes bulged, as did his attendants', whilst Raido coughed discreetly into his fist, suppressing a traitorous chuckle.

"…It would appear his skills more than make up for his appearance." The wind leader conceded, before returning his gaze to the fight below. Sarutobi did the same, but was inwardly cautious, despite his calm outward demeanor.

'The Yondaime-Kazekage was never this polite,' the elderly shinobi recalled, 'particularly whenever it appeared he was being looked down upon.' He frowned, eyeing the fighters' booth with trepidation. 'Plus, he didn't bat an eyelid when his daughter was defeated, despite all records entailing he spoiled her rotten."

The elderly Hokage scowled, eyeing the younger kage out of the corner of his eye as the man watched the proceedings like a hawk…or a serpent poised to strike.

'This man is not the Yondaime Kazekage.'

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Recca whistled softly, impressed at his rival's progress. "Man, looks like Franken-stain pulled out all the stops with his training." he winced, "Wonder what'd be like if he actually hit someone?"

Naruto gazed at the crater and remnants of Dosu's melody arm, and shivered. "Let's just hope we never find out."

Kankurou was silently agreeing with the blonde. 'This guy's a freaking monster!' he muttered, before shivering, eyeing Gaara and Naruto, 'And he's not the only one! Oh man, three monsters in one tightly packed arena…!' He covered his face with one hand, whimpering softly as he shook his head. 'I knew I should have offered more at mom's grave!'

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Dosu growled and slung off the needle launchers, before twisting his arms outwards. Two scrolls slipped into his hands, he flicked his wrist and they opened, allowing him to rub some blood across them. There was a puff of smoke and he was holding two katanas, one in each hand.

"I haven't pulled these out in a long while, you should feel honored." The sound genin muttered, letting the sheaths' slide off of their own accord, "Even with all that muscle you can't block a sword with that oversized cleaver you've got."

Domon grunted, hefting Kubikiri Houcho over his shoulder with one hand. "Care to try me?" he growled, narrowing his eyes slightly.

Dosu eyed the giant, and then unwrapped the grip on each blade; to Domon's shock, the handles popped in half, one remaining in Dosu's hands, the other clattering to the floor.

"This is one of the finest swords I've come across." Dosu explained, clacking the handles together to form one, the two blades apparently sitting one over the other. "Its name is Renbato Shinuchi…it took a while to find."

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"Shinuchi?" Recca asked, looking at Tokiya, who nodded.

"When swords are made," the water swordsman explained, "the greater of the two is sometimes given to temples as gifts, those are called Shinuchi." He held up a finger, "However, the blades that came before it, of a lesser quality, are referred to as Kageuchi, and are either stored or given away."

Recca frowned, eyeing the bandaged genin warily. "So what, this guy raided a temple?" he asked, prompting Mikagami to shrug.

"Perhaps," the swordsman admitted, "or perhaps he merely came across it by chance."

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"This sword, with two blades sitting so close together, can leave wounds that are so close together, regular medical treatment won't work." Dosu grinned behind his wrappings, eyeing his massive opponent with glee. "Add to that the anti-coagulation formulae I treat it with, and the wounds left behind fester until the opponent dies of illness."

Domon shivered, eyeing the weapon with disgust as it caught the light. "Twisted little freak…" he growled, moving into a blocking stance, "If you think you're getting within five feet of me with that thing, you're wrong!"

Dosu smirked, before abruptly lunging forwards, right hand making the ram seal.

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"That stance!" Kotetsu yelped, choking on his peanuts as Izumo growled, clenching his fist in rage.

"Orochimaru…you bastard!"

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"Mikazuki no mai!" Dosu called out, three images appearing alongside him, one above and two to the side, lunging at the giant. 'Got him!' the genin thought gleefully, 'Even if he does find me out, I can switch with one of the images and catch him off guard!'

Domon grunted as the three bunshins dashed towards him, and then hefted the Zanbato in both hands, holding it over his head with a roar.

"THAT WON'T WORK!"

As the startled Sound Nin blinked in shock, the giant spun the giant blade like a propeller, causing an updraft.

"HORAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Dosu swore as he was lifted off his feet and managed to switch places with a log, which splintered in mid air. "Impossible!" the bandaged genin swore as he felt his eye bulge out of its socket, "He's using the Zanbato like it was a bo-staff!'

Indeed, Domon was twirling the nine-foot sword like a demented cheerleader on steroids, a grin on his face that caused many to shiver as he advanced on the hapless sound genin.

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'I can see why they call him an Oni.' Tenten thought, shivering in shock, 'It takes effort for even the strongest jounin to lift a sword that size, let alone swing it.'

She winced as Domon leapt forward, tearing into the scenery like a Tasmanian devil on a sugar-rush. 'But this goes beyond human strength!' she thought in awe, 'Forget the weight of the sword, it's as if it really is no more than a feather to him!'

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Dosu leapt back and found himself in the unfortunate position of having his back to the wall, a grinning Domon advancing towards him like a tornado with fangs, that sadistic grin on his face threatening to split it in two.

'If this keeps up, I won't have a chance in hell.' The genin muttered, shivering at the insane light in the giant's eyes. With a grunt he moved into a different a stance. 'Right then…'

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Sarutobi raised an eyebrow, intrigued by what he was seeing. 'Hoh? He's that well trained in the art?' he wondered, mentally congratulating the boy on his progress, even if it was on behalf of his OWN treacherous student.

Said student, still in the guise of the Kazekage, leered at the fighters as he watched his servant lunge forwards again. 'Perhaps Dosu is worthy of interest after all.'

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"Mikazuki no mai," Dosu yelled out, "Ni no Tachi!"

The genin seemed to split into multiple clones that swamped the giant from all sides, their swords dipped in a stabbing or slashing movement at random.

"Tsukihime!"

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'That's the second of the Mikazuki techniques.' Genma commented, senbon twitching erratically as he watched from a safe distance; 'It looks like mere bunshin, when in fact, each sword stroke performed is real'

He scowled as he watched the sound nin close in on the giant. 'Domon will definitely not make it out of this one unscathed,' the chunin predicted, 'Hayate never failed to bring down his opponents with this move…its never seen defeat.'

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Dosu, as if reading the man's mind, smirked at his apparent victory. 'No-one except Orochimaru knows this technique,' he bragged, slashing down amidst his clones, 'he'll never detect-!'

The Giant surprised the genin by letting go of the sword, sending it crashing into half the images, disrupting them but leaving the teen open for attack. 'Is he an idiot?' Dosu thought, before the giant stamped out simultaneously with both feet.

D-DOOM!

The sound genin couldn't help but yell as he was sent skyward amidst a hail of dirt and rock, before landing shakily on his feet, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

"He…shattered the ground…with his feet?!"

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Domon stood at the bottom of an even larger crater than the last; which was actually two overlapping ones. The giant held up his arm, catching Kubikiri Houcho as it returned to him like a boomerang, the savage grin returning to his features. "Like I said," he boasted, "you ain't getting within five feet of me."

He blinked as Dosu appeared out of nowhere and swiped at him with the Renbato.

"FALL!"

Domon snorted at the nin's tenacity, then swung his Zanbato almost lazily, shattering the Renbato with a single stroke, sending the sound genin soaring backwards. "Give up" the giant muttered, "I used the back of the blade, but even so, you gotta have busted some ribs there."

Dosu swore and got up, breathing heavily as he held his ribcage with one arm. 'Curse that lummox…' he growled, 'Dammit…I didn't want to reveal this…' He yanked his shirtfront and tossed it off, straw backing and all, to reveal what appeared to be steel belts wrapped around his chest and midriff.

"Armor?" Domon commented, frowning slightly at the sight.

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Naruto blinked in confusion, before his eyes widened in shock. "Domon!" he yelled out, leaning over the rail, "He's got another weapon!"

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Domon blinked, then yelped as something bit into his arm, forcing him to leap back.

"This is a first for me," Dosu muttered, "I've never had to use this anywhere but while training."

He flicked his wrist and smirked behind his wrappings as several large spikes rose dangerously off his body. "Rikudoko!" he called out, twitching his wrist and causing the bizarre thing to dance like a spider's legs. "Orochimaru purchased this from a strange man in the service of assassinations," the genin explained, "and I am the only one who has succeeded in mastering it!"

He leaped forward, flicking his wrist to activate the blades, which shot towards the giant like vipers, the tips cutting into his arms and shoulder.

Domon grunted as he tried to dodge, one of the spikes scraping against his leg, causing him to flinch.

"Dodging is useless." Dosu muttered smugly, "I can control the blades with my chakra." He smirked as he stood up, his lanky body seeming to grow a foot without the slouch. "Resign yourself to defeat!"

The genin snapped his wrist and lunged forwards, just as Domon raised his own sword defiantly. 'Going to try and block? Or perhaps throw it?' Dosu mocked internally, 'Useless! I can change the direction with a flick of the wrist! I can even deflect that cleaver!'

"DIE!" the sound genin yelled, just as Domon rammed the tip of his own sword into the ground with the finality of a death knell.

DOOM!!!!!

Dosu was sent hurtling against the coliseum walls, which shook and began to crack as the massive shockwave echoed throughout the structure, his weapon's spikes crumpling under the pressure.

Genma let out a yelp as he lost his footing, actually rolling backwards from the shockwave that lashed out from the arena, the crowd grabbing onto their seats as the entire arena shook.

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Up in the Kage benches, Sarutobi's eyes widened in appreciative horror as the tremors finally came to a halt.

'He's…A demon!' the man whispered, feeling his heart start up again as he stared down into the dust cloud that had arisen from the giants last maneuver.

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Domon grinned ferally at the downed oto-nin as the dust began to settle, his wounds no longer bleeding as he pulled his sword out of the ground.

"Sorry," the giant muttered, "but I got too much to live for."

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Well now, that was interesting. Could Orochimaru have connections to organisations other than Akatsuki? Will Dosu be making a re-appearance later on? And how will the finals meassure up? What are your thought's kakashi? Kakashi?

Kyugan: (looks down to see Kakashi's headless corpse bleeding on the ground) Oh...right...Giorno?

Giorno: Gold Experience Requiem!

G.E.R: MUDAH-MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA-MUDAH!

Kakashi: (Blinks and feels his neck) I had the strangest dream, I was falling down this wierd tunnel with some redheaded itallian in fishnets who kept screaming "Stay away from meeeee-!"

Kyugan: No more pixie sticks for you mister.

Kakashi: Awww-!

R&R!!!! Or I'll sic the plot bunnies on you!

P.B: DAAAAAAAAAAAH-!

* * *


	22. Chapter 22

Thank you all for your patience, please continue to view our products.

Kakashi: Sell out. (blinks as a tentacle wraps around him) THE HELL?!

Kyugan: Be gentle Cthulu-kun!

Kakashi: WHAT ARE YOU-?! NO! THAT'S AN OUT HOLE! AN OUT HOLE!

Kyugan: Role camera.

* * *

Proclamation of strength; Battle of the brains!

As the stadium stopped rocking, Genma managed to climb to his feet, staring around in shock at the destruction. The coliseum walls were riddled with cracks, as if an earthquake had gone off right in the middle of the arena; the spectators were either on the floor or holding onto their chairs like desperate limpets. Even the Kage and Daimyo booths were looking a little put out, the Wind daimyo actually holding onto the handrail for dear life, having apparently been flung over it during Domon's last move.

'This guy!' Genma muttered, staring as the Giant got to his feet, 'He's something else!'

Domon glared at the battered sound genin as he feebly tried to raise himself off the ground. "What…are you?!" Dosu gasped, looking like a truck had hit him.

Domon snorted, before slinging Kubikiri Houcho over one shoulder and glaring at the genin. "Ore wa Oni no Domon!" he roared, causing the audience to wince as the arena walls echoed his words, "Konohagakure Saikyo doko da!"

He looked up at the Daimyos and smirked evilly, displaying FAR too many fangs than the human mouth should hold as he leveled his sword at them.

"And don't you forget it!"

--

"Dumbass," Recca snorted, shaking his head dismissively, "claiming he's the strongest like that."

"In terms of physical strength, he probably is, Aniki." Naruto muttered, eyeing the cracks along the wall with trepidation.

"He has a point," Fuko agreed, "none of us even compare to him in that aspect, he's definitely the powerhouse out of all of us." She snorted, waving a hand dismissively. "Luckily he's not as smart as he is strong, or we'd be in real trouble."

Mikagami shivered, looking down at the arena in concern. "Domon with intelligence," he muttered, "that IS a scary concept…"

--

Domon, unaware of the ridicule he was suffering, grunted and looked at Genma questioningly. "Oi, we done here?" he asked, causing the senbon chewing jounin to shiver, blinking at the absurdity of the question.

'He actually has to ask?' Genma muttered, eyeing the destruction with an air of mild horror, before raising his hand. "Winner: Ishijima Domon!"

Domon smirked and walked over to the steps to the fighter's booth, his wounds apparently not bothering him in the slightest. 'Showed off a bit much there,' the teen admitted, 'still haven't perfected the Toate.' he smirked, mentally patting himself on the back. 'At least I used my head for once!'

He grinned as he entered the booth, looking over at his teammates expectantly. "Yo, what did ya think?"

Recca smirked, pointing at the arena walls, as plaster fell from the ceiling. "I think someone needs a little more restraint," he mocked, "any more and you would'a brought the entire stadium down around us."

The giant flushed and gave his rival the finger, before turning to his blonde teammate. "Oi, squirt, you still got any of that cream Hinata-chan gave you?"

Naruto nodded and pulled out the tub. "Here," he motioned, "Lemme see your leg..."

--

'Brute force aside, Domon put good use to the terrain and his abilities' Sarutobi muttered, 'in a four man team he would work well in the offensive position,'

The eldest Sarutobi sweatdropped as a piece of the roof fell into the arena below, startling Genma as it almost landed on the poor man's head. 'Like that couldn't be any more obvious.' He muttered, shaking himself and smiling at the booth where the chunin hopefuls were conversing amongst themselves.

'Still, they have come a long way from being foreigners with little experience, and to declare himself as the strongest in Konoha, he has made the lords see we are a force to be reckoned with, both on and off the battlefields.'

He shot the faux Kazekage a look, smirking to himself at the sight of his discomfort.

'I bet you aren't feeling as confident as you used to be, are you…Orochimaru?'

--

Chouji and Asuma were less worried about Shikamaru's upcoming fight than they were with their female colleague at the moment. Ino had frozen up again when Domon had come marching out at the start of the round, and his roaring in the stadium had caused her to shake uncontrollably, especially when she saw how much stronger he'd become.

'Then there was that…that monstrous technique…' Asuma muttered, eyeing the cracks in the wall with a shiver, before regarding the wide-eyed blonde carefully. 'This is even worse than when they fought at the tower,' the jounin noted, 'I think she's gone into shock.'

"Asuma-sensei, what should we do?" Chouji asked, worried about his teammate, friend and secret crush as she simply sat there staring through him.

"We have to get her to the infirmary, there are medics there." The Jounin muttered, looking at the boy after a few minutes and nodding. "I think a memory suppression jutsu would be best, but those tend to be unreliable." he winced stiffly, "And I'm no genjutsu specialist."

"Perhaps I can be of some assistance?" a calm, quiet voice asked. Looking up revealed a cowled, cat-masked ANBU, who knelt beside them carefully with a nod. "I'm a medic," he admitted, "but I'm also experienced with the suppression jutsu."

He turned his mask towards the jounin, tilting his head slightly. "Are you sure though? They DO tend to have build-up side-effects." At the jounin's look of confusion he nodded at the girl. "She could lose a few I.Q. points if exposed to them too often."

Asuma winced, not liking the outcome of THAT situation at all. 'Inoichi would have my balls if something happened to his baby girl.' He muttered, imagining the enraged Yamanaka patriarch using his Hiranshin no jutsu to make Asuma walk off a cliff...among other things.

"Just do what you can then." The jounin muttered, shaking his head at the situation. The ANBU nodded and got to work, placing a hand on the blondes arm and causing her to drift off to a dreamless sleep.

"A couple of hours of rest and she'll be back to her usual bubbly self." The medic said cheerfully, standing up again. Asuma winced, knowing Ino was anything BUT bubbly, but thanked the man all the same. "Not a problem, shall I take a look at her too?" the ANBU asked, pointing behind the Jounin.

Asuma and Chouji looked round to reveal Sakura, still standing in her shocked position, looking for the entire world like a giant paper cutout. "Nah, she's fine." They muttered offhandedly, earning a sweatdrop from the ANBU.

--

Shikamaru shivered as the group was congratulating their giant comrade. "Man…I don't have a single friendly face here." He muttered, before looking over at Shino and shivering as the Aburame eyed him stoically. 'Well maybe one…but he's freaky too…'

The lazy genin sighed, wondering whom he'd pissed off to wind up in this situation, he strongly suspected his mother was involved in some way or other, she generally was.

'Tokiya's the brains of the academy too,' he recalled mournfully, 'so if I'm not careful out there, he'll eat me alive…' He sighed in relief, looking up at the sky contentedly. 'Relax, Shino's up against the puppet guy from the sand next,' he closed his eyes, 'no need to worry for a while…'

"Proctor!" Kankurou called out hurriedly, "I'm forfeiting the next match!"

The lazy genin face faulted, causing Shino to look at him in concern. 'Mendokuse,' the Nara scion moaned from the floor, 'my luck always DID suck…'

--

'That was close,' Kankurou muttered, eyeing the combatants cautiously, 'can't risk Karasu's mechanisms being looked into before the plan gets in motion.' He winced, looking over his shoulder at Shino in trepidation. 'Besides, this guy's bugs eat chakra…and I'll need all I can spare, Temari being in the condition she's in.'

The middle sand sibling shivered, eyeing the surroundings carefully.

'As it is, I've bought some time…time which these two should also compensate.' He nodded grimly, 'Gaara will probably kill the Uchiha on sight, and that'll be the signal.'

Shino didn't show any emotion, but behind his collar and glasses, his face was set in a calculating frown as he glared at the sand siblings, a strange rustling noise coming from the depths of his coat that caused any who heard it to shiver.

--

Genma cleared his throat, looking up at the audience. "Due to Kankurou's forfeit, the win goes to Aburame Shino." He explained, looking decidedly impartial, though internally he was skipping with glee, seeing he was now several hundred Ryou richer.

The crowd was muttering their displeasure at this, so far the Konoha genin had been providing a brilliant show, to see another in action, especially the enigmatic Aburame clan scion, was a treat they felt cheated of. The senbon chewing proctor cleared his throat again, catching their attention.

"As such, we will move on to the fifth match: Mikagami Tokiya versus Nara Shikamaru."

--

Shikamaru moaned as Tokiya walked down the steps elegantly, not a hair out of place. "Man, this is way too much trouble." He muttered, raising a hand lazily, "I'm just going to for-"

"Good luck Shikamaru!" Naruto cackled, slapping the lazy genin on the back, "You're gonna need-huh?"

The reason for the blonde's confusion was that Shikamaru had apparently disappeared into thin air.

"Eh? Where'd Shikamaru go?" Naruto asked, looking around the booth for the lazy genin, whilst behind him the other competitors, with the exception of Shino and Gaara, sweatdropped.

"Naruto…" Recca deadpanned.

"You knocked him over the rail." Domon finished, straight faced.

The blonde Hanyou blinked, looking over the railing to spot an annoyed Shikamaru glaring back at him from the imprint he'd made in the ground courtesy of the baka express. "Uh…oops?" Naruto muttered, a sweatdrop the size of a basketball sliding down his head.

--

Shikamaru stared up at the clouds in exasperation, shaking his head at the predicament he was in. 'Why me?' he begged them, 'What did I ever do in a past life?'

"Nice entry, what are you going to do next?" Tokiya said, smirking at the genin, "Forfeit perhaps?"

The Lazy genin twitched in irritation, he HAD been considering that even before he entered the ring after all. 'However,' he muttered, 'hearing THIS guy say it, I feel like fighting just to spite him.' The teen laughed internally, shaking his head at the thought. 'Mendokuse…I can't believe I'm doing this.'

Shikamaru slowly stood up and motioned to the proctor.

"Lets go."

--

Asuma, after watching Chouji escort their teammate away, covertly copping a guilty feel along the way, smiled as he sat next to Kurenai, earning a small flush from the younger jounin, which was either from embarrassment or the man's ever present smell of cigarette smoke.

"Now we'll see just what these two can do." The younger Sarutobi muttered, lighting up a fresh cancer-stick in anticipation, causing Kurenai to look at him.

"Is there that much to see?" she wondered, "Tokiya was the number one rookie at the academy, and I'll admit that Shikamaru did well in the preliminaries, but his scores were, well…"

Asuma snorted, amused despite himself; "Dead last?" he prompted, causing Kurenai to flush, not wanting to sound derogative towards her colleague's charge, until Asuma held up a hand to stave off any apologies. "Relax, I'm not insulted," he assured her, "but you're wrong if you think he's an idiot." The younger Sarutobi smirked, eyeing his favorite student in a calm manner.

"Shikamaru has a natural flair for strategies," he explained, "he loves shogi and go, despite his lazy demeanor." The Jounin winced, shaking his head in self-sympathy. "I've never beaten him once at neither of them either."

Kurenai raised an eyebrow, knowing that Asuma had won the Konoha professional Shogi Go championships three years in a row, ever since the Hokage stopped playing that is.

"Just watch," Asuma goaded, "I'll bet he's gathered all he needs to know about Tokiya from the get go."

--

'I got nothing on this guy.' Shikamaru muttered, sullenly, 'I didn't really see him fight in the preliminaries, so I don't know what he can do…all I got is his record at the academy.'

He frowned, remembering how his mother would hold copies of the test scores under his nose as she yelled at him to pull his act together. 'Perfect test scores, perfect attendance, heck, they even set up another fan club dedicated to him.' He shivered at the memory; 'I think I saw a few faculty members in it.'

Shaking his head, the Nara eyed the no.1 rookie cautiously. 'Doubt he's stupid enough to fall for the head to the wall trick,' he thought dryly, 'so I gotta be careful.'

At the same time, Mikagami was running through his thoughts on his opponent as well.

'This one isn't as stupid as he looks, despite his slothful appearance.' He frowned delicately, recalling Shikamaru's earlier performances. 'He can capture and restrain his opponent with that shadow jutsu of his, so ranged combat is probably the best way to deal with him.' He eyed his opponent carefully, "And he can minimize his shadow to any length, but there has to be a limit…'

Genma eyed both contenders, noting the analytical looks on their eyes before smirking in anticipation.

"Fifth match: Begin!"

The two leapt back, with Shikamaru hurtling Kunai as a distraction.

"Useless!" Mikagami yelled, hurling his own, causing the Nara to back flip, the lazy genin retreating to the trees and hide in the shrubbery.

'Regular tactics aren't gonna work here,' Shikamaru deduced, eyeing the genius through the cover of the woods, 'lets see…'

--

Kurenai blinked as she saw the lazy teen make a weird symbol with his hands. "A hand seal?" she asked, blinking slightly.

Asuma smirked around his cancer stick, "Nah…he's thinking." He countered. Kagero raised an eyebrow and the smoking jounin elaborated. "Shikamaru's like an old man," he explained, "he likes to take things slowly…so whenever we played Shogi, he'd make that hand sign and think out a strategy." Asuma winced, "I'd go down in the next two or three moves, tops."

Kagero blinked, "Really? That's quite impressive." She noted, actually quite impressed, having played Asuma during the few times the jounin gathered.

"Impressive or not," Kurenai countered with a frown, "playing shogi or go isn't the same as real life."

"On the contrary." Kagero cut in, "When compared to the intricate strategies thought out on a chessboard, there is a lot of similarity between them and battle situations."

Asuma nodded, "Kid loves strategies," he explained, "so one day, I gave him an I.Q test in the form of a puzzle game."

Kurenai looked interested, "And how did he do?" she asked, prompting Asuma to smirk, virtually chuffed.

"Even I was shocked," he admitted "damn kid's I.Q rated over 200."

Kurenai blinked, shocked out of her gourd. "T-two hundred?"

Kagero looked interested, "That is impressive, about how much over would you say?"

Asuma shuffled awkwardly, "About…ten, more or less?"

Kagero nodded, "Well then, Tokiya's last I.Q test put him in that range if what he said was right." She smiled at the two genin in the ring, "Looks like he'll get a decent challenge after all."

The immortal kunoichi failed to notice the looks of shock on the surrounding jounin populace.

--

Shikamaru opened his eyes, ready to set his plan in motion.

"Kagemane no jutsu!"

The shadow shot out and attempted to ensnare the swordsman, only for Tokiyai to leap backwards, back flipping away from him.

"Clever, using the wall to increase the length of your shadow." Tokiya conceded, pulling out a canteen of water, "Regardless…it shall not work on me."

Shikamaru watched, amazed, as the water turned into a sword as it was poured upon the strangely shaped kunai the young man was holding. 'Great,' he muttered, feeling a moment of childish jealousy, 'does every Konoha finalist have some sort of blade except for me?'

"You've shown me your art," Tokiya muttered, snapping his opponent out of his thoughts, "Now I shall show you mine."

Planting the tip of Ensui into the ground, Tokiya made a seal with one hand. "Hyomon-ken…"

--

Recca blinked, grabbing the railing in shock. "OI! Mikagami!" he yelled out, causing the Suna representatives to blink, "You trying to kill him?!"

--

"Tsurara mai!"

Shikamaru's eyes bulged as several icicles erupted from the ground and hurtled toward him murderously. "SHIT!" he yelped, barely dodging out of the way, "What the hell was that?!"

"Hyomon-ken," Tokiya replied, pulling his sword out of the ground, and walking towards the genin, "my art."

Shikamaru snorted, eyeing the madogu wielder carefully. "An ice blade huh?" he muttered sullenly, "Cool."

Tokiya smirked, tilting the blade so it crossed in front of his face. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

Shikamaru winced slightly in discomfort; one of the icicles had scratched his side. Not deeply thankfully, but there was an irritating cut in the genin's flank that was rubbing against his shirt, and the cold feeling wasn't helping. 'Okay, so he can attack from long range,' the genin thought, 'but he was to put his sword into the ground to do it…gotcha.'

"Kagemane!"

Tokiya sighed, looking decidedly disappointed. "A one trick pony," he taunted, "no matter how many times you-!" He leapt back to avoid the seemingly longer shadow, a smirk adorning his cultured features.

'I see…he's taking advantage of the sun's positioning to lengthen his reach,' the swordsman frowned delicately, 'Clever…but not clever enough!'

"Hyomon-ken:" he cried out, "Mizu-naru-hebi!"

Shikamaru yelped as he leapt to the side, canceling his jutsu to avoid the older teen's water snake. 'Okay, so he has other attacks that can reach me,' he thought with a shiver as the snake vanished, 'and getting in close is suicide, Kendo Sanbai Dan and all that…' He frowned as he dodged another water snake, 'Still…all that water…where's he getting it from?'

The Nara blinked as he remembered the start of the match, smirking to himself.

'Bingo.'

--

Tokiya was frowning in thought, eyeing the surroundings carefully. 'He's tenacious for someone so lazy,' the genius thought, 'and unusually quick at dodging attacks.'

With the ease of long practice, the swordsman dodged a kunai hurled in his direction and smirked as he noticed the Kagemane speeding towards him. "Your range is about fifteen feet," He called out stepping beyond the shadow's maximum range, "how long can you keep this up?"

Shikamaru refused to answer and the swordsman was about to continue when a shadow appeared in mid air. Cursing vehemently, Tokiya leapt back as a kunai hanging from a parachute descended, allowing Shikamaru to increase his reach once again.

'Interesting…' the swordsman muttered, eyeing his opponent appreciatively, 'he used the last attack from the Mizu-hebi to distract me from the fact he'd sent up a tool to lengthen his shadow.' he dodged to the side and smirked, 'He's good at this.'

Tokiya then did the unexpected and stopped right in the shadow's path, causing Shikamaru to blink as he supposedly captured the swordsman with his jutsu.

'This isn't right,' the Nara muttered eyeing the figure analytically, 'he just stopped in mid dash.' Scowling, the lazy genin grabbed a kunai and walked forwards, the swordsman mimicking his actions until there was only six feet between them.

"I wonder…" Shikamaru pondered, before moving the kunai in a slashing motion, causing his captive to cut off his own head with Ensui.

--

"He didn't!" Kurenai gasped, eyes widening as the audience cried out in shock at the Nara's apparent cruelty as Asuma winced.

"Yeesh, never thought he had it in him to do that…" He muttered, before blinking suddenly, staring down at the arena suspiciously. "Wait, somethings not right…"

Kurenai blinked and looked at her colleague, "What is it?" she asked, noting the suspicion on the man's face.

"Normally, whatever happens to the target whilst under the effect of Kagemane happens to Shikamaru." Asuma explained, pointing at his charge in confusion, "Now I'm not complaining, but why didn't HIS head come off too?"

Kagero smiled, looking down at the arena.

"Check."

--

Shikamaru snorted as Tokiya's headless corpse turned into a puddle of water. "Mizu bunshin eh? Pretty clever." He looked around, cautiously, "And you've drawn me into the open, where you can watch me carefully."

"I'm impressed," Tokiya's praise echoed around the stadium, "I take back the sloth comment from before."

Shikamaru eyed the surroundings carefully, "Doesn't really bother me, my mom calls me and pops worse."

--

Up in the stands, Nara Shikato winced. 'Ain't it the truth…' he mumbled, knowing all too well how bossy the 'love of his life' could get. Inoichi chuckled at his teammates expense, whilst Choza chomped away at his onigiri.

--

"You have my condolences." Tokiya muttered, "However, you'll forgive me if I finish this early."

Abruptly, the stadium filled with a dense fog, obscuring the audiences view, much to their displeasure.

'Kirigakure?' Genma muttered, interested; 'Wasn't expecting that.'

Shikamaru scowled, and then slowly closed his eyes, trying to visualize the terrain in his minds eye.

--

"Man…" Recca scowled, "I hated this when we fought Zabuza, now Mikagami's got it too." He looked over at Naruto and Domon, "You getting anything?"

Domon nodded, gazing down into the ring, "I can sense where they are," he admitted, "but I can't tell who's who though."

"Tokiya's the one coming up behind the other one." Naruto muttered, ears twitching slightly, his eyes closed, "And Shikamaru's the one whose heart's beating so fast."

Recca whistled, "Man, those lessons with the fox are paying off!" he praised, causing Naruto to flush and scratch his neck.

"I'm just listening alright?" he muttered, "I can't sense 'em like Domon can."

Fuko blinked, before crossing her arms in a time-out. "Wind back," she ordered, "Domon can sense them?"

Recca shrugged, thumbing at his rival disinterestedly. "Think of it like a radar or something." He prompted, causing the girl to stifle a laugh at the image of a submarine with Domon's face floating through a sea of mines, which looked like miniature Recca and Kurei heads.

--

Shikamaru kept his eyes closed until he heard the telltale sound off crashing ice hurtling towards him, grinning despite the Goosebumps and his racing heart.

'Check mate.'

"Tsurara ma-!" Tokiya froze in mid attack, speechless as he sensed his icicles do the same.

"Kagemane, successful." Shikamaru called out through the mist, which slowly began to dissipate, revealing the massive wall of icicles that had formed around the lazy genin. "Mendokuse," He sweatdropped, before shooting an annoyed glare towards his captured opponent, "you trying to kill me?"

Tokiya snorted, attempting to shrug but found this impossible due to the Kagemane still being in effect. "Not really," he admitted, "but if you HAD died I wouldn't have shed tears."

Shikamaru smirked, "I'm guessing the only thing holding these things back is you…right?"

Tokiya returned the smirk, "You'd be correct," he agreed, cocking a delicate eyebrow, "care to explain?"

Sighing in relief at having guessed right, the lazy genin raised a finger. "First off, your sword obviously relies on the amount of water used to make it; logically, a single canteen's worth wouldn't last very long." He raised another, "Second, I noticed that every time you used a technique, your blade seemed to grow thinner, as if losing its density."

A third went up, "Thirdly, even when you weren't holding your sword, you had this intense look in your eye…you need to FOCUS to keep the attack going, don't you?"

Mikagami nodded, visibly impressed at his opponent's deductions, "Correct," he admitted, "I don't need to be touching Ensui to control the Tsurara mai."

Shikamaru shook his head, a self-mocking grin on his face. "Mendokuse, if this were a chess match we'd both be in the check position, eh?"

Tokiya laughed gently, "It IS rather embarrassing; if you let me go, I renew my attack, but if I attack you, no doubt I would suffer damage as well."

Shikamaru snorted, rubbing the nick on his neck, "Noticed that eh?" he remarked, wincing at the sting.

The swordsman smirked, "You aren't the only one that studies his opponent in the midst of battle." He winced suddenly, feeling the strain of the technique shooting up his arm. "It's getting hard to maintain the icicles;" he noted, "Ensui's water is almost dried up."

"I'm low on chakra too." Shikamaru acknowledged, "What say we call it a tie?"

Tokiya sighed, "I'm not fond of that," he remarked, "but what else can I do?"

--

Genma smirked, nodding approvingly to their joint decision. 'These two, more than any of the others, they've displayed the truest values of the chunin, the qualities of a strategic leader.' He smirked and shook his head, eyeing the damage to the terrain, 'Had they both been accompanied by four man teams, this battle could have ended a little differently.'

"I'm declaring this one a draw!" he called out, ending the match amidst cheers from the crowd.

--

Shikamaru winced, rotating his stiff neck, not used to so much pressure as he released his opponent as the ice melted. "Mendokuse" he muttered tiredly, "you'd be a bastard to beat at shogi."

Tokiya raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "You like shogi?" he asked smiling lightly, "Perhaps we can settle this over a game later?"

Shikamaru eyed the swordsman, before smirking, amused despite himself, "And here I thought we had nothing in common…" he snorted, shaking his head in bemusement.

Tokiya sighed, agreeing with the genin wholeheartedly.

"Life is full of surprises."

--

And so another match comes to an end. Not a complete victory, but at the very least Tokiya-kun has someone he talk to on equal footing.

Cthulu: (Unintelligible squelching noises)

Kyugan: Oh? done already? just drop him anywhere.

Cthulu: (nods and drops a traumatised Kakashi on the floor, before receding into the shadows)

Kakashi: It puts the lotion on it's skin...it puts the lotion on it's skin...

Kyugan: (Sweatdrops, before turning to a figure nearby) Get me Yuko-san, tell her i need that unreleased copy of Icha-Icha paradise the movie.

Figure: That again? you do know what she charges for it right?

Kyugan: I had Cthulu tape everything, (Holds up a slimy video camera) Nothing gets your boss off like good old tentacle pron.

Figure: (Grimacing as he holds the camera) sigh...I'll let her know.

Kyugan: Good man Watanuki, and take care. (Glares at the quivering form of Kakashi) The things I do for you.

R&R!!


	23. Chapter 23

Ah My adoring public, (Ducks a sniper round) Oh very mature! I told you I'd be busy! sorting out the errors in COTY is taking up a lot of time, I only remembered to post this today!

Kakashi: (Watching Icha-Icha the movie: Directors cut) Tardiness is a fatal failing. (Screams as the channel changes to gay porno.

Kyugan: I don;t wanna hear that from YOU. (Points at screen) Roll camera.

* * *

Disqualification! Clash of the inner beasts!

Recca grinned as the two entered the booth, eager to rub the swordsman's nose in the way the match ended. "Hey Tokiya!" the enjutsu-shi yelled mockingly "for all your bluster you still only managed a tie!"

The swordsman snorted, "The hot headed monkey who didn't have to EARN his place here," he turned his back to the teen and looked out at the crowd, "has no right to comment on my battles."

Recca lunged at the teen, only for Fuko and Domon to hold him back, whilst Naruto shook his head.

"Besides," Shikamaru added with a snort, "we can skip right to the next match now, that'll be something to see."

The rest of the group blinked, before the pranksters threw eerie gins at each other, causing everyone to sweatdrop and take a step back at the pure evil emanating from them.

"He's right." Naruto snickered, canines showing in manic glee as he snickered in a vulpine manner.

"Yeah," Domon agreed, "Uchiha's gonna get his ass kicked so hard, his ancestors are gonna feel it!"

Recca grinned and gave Gaara a thumb's up, much to the redhead's shock. "Try not to kill the fruit, will ya?" he asked, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Temari and Kankurou stared at the group in utter confusion. "Aren't they the Uchiha's teammates?" The blonde kunoichi asked, pointing at them as she gazed at Mikagami, the swordsman shrugging aloofly.

"It doesn't mean they have to like him," the swordsman replied truthfully, "I think they were having a wager on how long it would be till he was taken down." He chuckled, "They seemed rather vexed that he's lasted this long."

Temari and Kankurou stared at the swordsman with deadpan expressions, before looking at the trio, who were involved in a fistfight, apparently over who had to pay for ramen after the exam was over. '…They're insane…' the two siblings deadpanned, tear stains on the wall behind them.

Gaara decided not to comment, though a bead of sweat did slide down the side of his skull.

--

"Man," Kotetsu whistled, "I can see how Tokiya earned the title of No.1 rookie, he's a genius."

Izumo smirked, "Shikamaru was an upset though," he admitted, "I thought this guy was the dead-last at the academy." He snorted, "Guess that'll teach me."

Asuma chuckled, looking down at the arena, where the remains of the icicles were disappearing fast. 'Normally, Shikamaru wouldn't have stood a chance against Tokiya if the match had continued,' the younger Sarutobi admitted, 'but with a team, it's obvious that things would have ended differently.'

He winced, 'Of course, the same could be said for Tokiya too,' he admitted, 'I can see how he made no.1 at the academy, kid's as sharp as those icicles of his, and just as cool headed.'

--

Sarutobi smiled as he watched the crew clear away the debris. 'All in all, a brilliant crop of potential chunin candidates.' He thought warmly, 'And all from the same village, such a thing has never happened before in the history of the five shinobi nations.'

He eyed the daimyo's in their private booths and noticed the looks of impressed surprise on their faces. 'This is a good thing for the leaf village,' Sarutobi noted, 'it may lead to improved business relations with other countries regarding our services.'

He frowned slightly and eyed his former student, still disguised as the Kazekage. 'Unfortunately, it's given him a good eyeful as well.'

--

Orochimaru was once referred to as the most calm, levelheaded of the Densetzu no Sannin. Even in the heat of battle, nothing could remove the smug, superior look from his face.

However, underneath the skin of the late Kazekage, the serpent's features were twisted into an un-godly look of fury.

'This…isn't…happening!' he hissed, 'My calculations showed that only the Sasuke and Hyuuga prodigy should have provided this much entertainment!' he grit his teeth together, grounding them down to stumps in his anger.

'Kabuto will pay dearly for this negligence.' He muttered glaring down at the stadium, where his agent was still disguised as an ANBU, causing the bespectacled medic to shiver. 'Still…' he relented, biting his lip to calm down, 'There is still Sasuke-kun's match to be decided.'

The great snake shivered in anticipation, 'Kakashi was impressive as a brat too, even before the sharingan was implanted into his skull.' his eyes widened, veins showing with anticipation. 'Lets see how far you've grown…Sasuke-kun…'

--

Genma sighed as he called Gaara down to the stadium, looking around for the missing Uchiha, before snorting at the face of his watch. "Ladies and Gentlemen," he called out, "in accordance with the tournament rules, there will be a ten minute window to allow for Uchiha Sasuke to arrive." Pausing for effect he nodded, "Should that time limit end before he arrives, he shall be disqualified."

Ignoring the cries of outrage from the Uchiha's fan club, the chunin turned to the waiting Gaara and nodded in apology. "I ask you to be patient just a little longer," he asked patiently, "should Sasuke not turn up, you will have to face another opponent anyway."

Gaara said nothing, but a few wisps of sand at his feet moved, irritated.

--

"Dammit," Naruto spat, "the asshole always gets special treatment from these guys." He crossed his arms in a huff, looking unashamedly childish for doing so. "First he gets to be personally trained by Kakashi-sensei and now they're letting him off for being tardy?"

"Yeah," Domon growled, "if one of us was late, we would've been failed just to get to his match quicker."

Recca snorted, waving a hand dismissively, though an annoyed vein twitched above his temple. "Whatever, he doesn't show, I get to fight the ghoul and avenge Lee; he DOES show, we get to watch the ghoul use him as a punching bag." His smirk grew sadistic, "Then I get to fight the ghoul anyway! Everyone wins!"

The trio exchanged high fives with each other; causing the other contestants to sweatdrop at their antics.

'…They really are insane….' Temari and Kankurou muttered, mouth's resembling triangles, their eyes missing as they sweatdropped.

Shikamaru sighed, shaking his head exasperatedly. 'Man…Shino's the only one that hasn't fought yet,' the Nara muttered, 'but he's completely unreadable, so I can't tell how he feels about this lot.'

Abruptly, the lazy genin heard a soft noise and turned his head to stare at the bug master in shock.

'Shino…can laugh?'

--

As the time ticked away, Orochimaru's patience was slowly wearing thin, and he wasn't the only one.

"WHERE'S SASUKE-KUN!?"

"BRING OUT THE UCHIHA!"

"WE WANT THE UCHIHA!"

"SASUKE-SAMA!"

In the stands, Kagero winced as she eyed the young girls that were waving a banner with the Uchiha clan's symbol on it. "They certainly are…enthusiastic," she muttered, whilst Yanagi flushed, too polite to ask them to sit down and 'shut the hell up', as Fuko insisted she do in such situations.

--

"Damn groupies…they're always the same." Domon muttered, a vein pulsing on his forehead as he glared at the stands, causing Naruto to blink.

"What's up with Domon?" the blonde asked, looking round as Fuko snickered, waving a hand dismissively.

"Long story," the girl replied with a wink, "but it involves a bunch of women in Zodiac outfits, Tokiya, and a kindergartener with an eye patch."

Domon felt a painful mental stab at each of his beloved's words, tilting to the side with each blow. "Fuko…you wound me…" he whimpered, sitting huddled in a gloomy corner of the booth, tears cascading down his cheeks.

Naruto sweatdropped at the sight, before walking over and patting the giant on the back consolingly, "There-there," he said kindly "she didn't mean it…I think…"

Recca, unaware of his rivals torment, was hopping from foot to foot in irritation, eager to leap into the arena. 'C'mon…c'mon!' he pleaded, 'the fruit isn't coming! Let me fight!'

As if reading his mind, Genma stood forward and coughed, catching the crowd's attention. "Ladies and gentlemen," the chunin called out, "as regretful as it is, rules are rules, and the ten minute window for Uchiha Sasuke has closed." He sighed, bracing for the uproar, "He is hereby disqualified."

"YES!"

Genma blinked at the yell, as did a number of people in the audience, before turning to stare at Recca as the teen leaped into the arena, doing a victory dance as he landed.

--

"Sweet! I get to fight!" the enjutsu-shi yelled, dancing a merry jig, "God bless Kakashi-sensei's perpetual tardiness!"

He winced as the killing intent from the Uchiha's fan club lunged at him from all sides of the stadium.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT SASUKE-SAMA!"

"WE HOPE YOU DIE YOU BOTCH-FACED BABOON!"

The enjutsu-shi flinched, bangs covering his eyes, as he stood in the arena. One girl hurled a can at him, which crashed into the side of his head and bounced off. "GET OUT OF THE RING!" she yelled shrilly, "SASUKE-SAMA ISN'T DISQUALIFIED YOU-!"

Recca's eyes shot open and he leveled a wall of killing intent at the stands. "SHUT UP YOU UGLY BITCHES!"

The girls froze, much like Sakura had, the kanji for 'Ugly!?' in the background as their voices echoed the word.

"UCHIHA'S A NO SHOW, AND RULES ARE RULES!" Recca yelled, spazzing out like a chimpanzee, complete with background noise, "IF HE CANT SHOW UP ON TIME FOR HIS OWN FUCKING MATCH, HE'S GOT NO PLACE EVEN BEING HERE!" He grabbed the can and crushed it in one hand, glaring up at the stands all the while. "AND IF I FIND THE BITCH WHO THREW THAT, I'LL BURN OFF YOUR HAIR UNTIL YOU'RE BALDER THAN A BABY'S BUTTHOLE!"

--

"Empty words." Tokiya snorted, looking cool as he leaned against the wall, "Recca's too much of a gentleman to do that."

"Yeah," Domon snickered, "Mikagami once cut Yanagi's hair without her permission, and Recca beat the crap out of him, saying a woman's hair is her treasure." He grinned, waggling his eyebrows tauntingly. "Then he used a shuriken to cut off Mikagami's ponytail."

The swordsman twitched in irritation, a vein throbbing on his temple. 'Domon you bastard…' he hissed, tempted to run the giant through, 'you didn't need to tell them that!'

--

Gaara studied the hotheaded chimpanzee he was supposed to be fighting next and scowled in irritation. "Baka." Abruptly, his head shot backwards as the can collided with his forehead with all the force of one of Lee's kicks.

"Who you calling a baka, baka?!" Recca yelled, still red in the face, "If you're gonna insult someone, have the balls to say it to their face!"

Gaara scowled and lowered his head back to its normal position. "Fine," he muttered, "BAKA."

Genma moaned, shaking his head in disbelief as the two shot sparks at each other. 'Great,' he muttered, 'fight hasn't even started yet and they're at each other's throats already.'

"Seventh round," he called out, "Sabaku no Gaara versus Hanabishi Recca, start!"

Recca leapt back and hurled his gunpowder bombs at the sand genin, only for the wall of sand to envelop them.

"Muda-da" Gaara muttered, his tone sounding almost bored, "These are useless against my sand-!"

The section of sand exploded, falling to the ground amidst clouds of smoke, dust and manic laughter.

"HA!" Recca yelled, scooping more out of his pouch, "I knew packing in ten times the potency would work!"

--

Domon twitched, a vein showing on his forehead, at his rival's words. "Hanabishi," he muttered, having a particular dislike for Recca's trademark weapon at their NORMAL potency, "you trying to kill yourself?"

"Baka," Fuko sighing as she shrugged exasperatedly, "carrying stuff that dangerous around with him…"

Naruto sweatdropped, laughing weakly as he watched the fight develop below, "Nii-san sure likes to play with fire…" he said, laughing at his own weak joke as the others moaned.

Tokiya shook his head exasperatedly, a long-suffering look crossing his elegant features.

"Hot-headed chimp."

--

Gaara eyed his opponent cautiously, before clutching his head. "Gomen…Kaa-san," the redhead muttered, "you ate some bad blood earlier…" he glared at the enjutsu-shi, "And this one…doesn't look much better."

Recca snorted, unimpressed with the sand shinobi's behavior. "Talking to yourself?" he mocked, "Man you're weird." He leapt back to dodge another wall of sand. "Lemme guess," the enjutsu-shi called out, hurling more explosives at the sand genin, "the amount of sand you can use is limited to that gourd isn't it?"

Gaara said nothing, but constructed a Suna bunshin that grabbed the balls and crushed them before they could detonate. "Is this all you are?" the Jinchuuriki asked coldly, "A firefly?"

Recca twitched at the taunt, then grinned ferally. "Guess again, ass-wipe" he muttered, raising his right middle and index fingers.

--

Tokiya smirked, stepping away from the wall to get a better view. "About time the idiot got serious." The swordsman muttered.

"I told you, secret weapons gotta be saved," Domon insisted, making a bizzare pose "like Ultraman's Spacium Laser!"

Naruto, not getting the reference, merely grinned as he recognized the meaning of the hand seals.

"This is gonna be good!"

--

"Ryu no en, Ichi-shiki:" Recca called out, writing the dragon's name with his hands. Abruptly, a massive flaming pillar in the shape of a dragon with whiskers appeared behind him, causing Gaara's eyes to widen. "NADARE!"

Gaara stared in shock as the dragon looped around Recca, eyeing the stadium critically.

"**I haven't been out in so long." **The female dragon complained, letting the wind blow at her whiskers, **"This is refreshing."**

Recca grinned apologetically up at the Karyuu, "Sorry to keep you cooped up for so long," he offered, looking up at her, "you ready to rumble?"

Nadare laughed, the ghostly image of her human face appearing in front of her flaming form.

"**You have to ask?"**

--

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Shikamaru yelled, trying not to wet himself at the sight of the colossal dragon, and failing dismally.

"Nadare of the Karyuu." Tokiya muttered, "One of the Hachiryuu that inhabit Hanabishi's body."

Kankurou's eyes widened, "You mean…he has seven more of those things?!"

"Yeah," Domon snorted "and most people don't last long enough to see past two."

Temari was huddled in a corner, eying her younger brother with a look of fear that, for once, didn't involve the possibility of painful death via sand.

"Gaara…"

--

The redhead shivered as the dragon's gaze passed over him, before casting an amazed look towards the teen that summoned it. 'What…is he?!' he wondered, blinking as his opponent stepped forwards.

"Lets go!" Recca yelled, clenching his right fist.

"**Of course!"** Nadare called out, shooting towards it. Gaara's eyes widened and he raised another Suna bunshin between himself and the enjutsu-shi.

"Nadare:" Recca yelled out, pointing his open palm towards Gaara, "DAN EN!"

The enjutsu-shi launched a massive salvo of high velocity fireballs at the bunshin, smashing through it and sending the Jinchuuriki sailing backwards into the wall.

"Get up." Recca called out, Nadare coiling around him like a flaming boa, "Your armor of sand no doubt took the worst of that."

Gaara did get up, and the armor around his face was cracked, falling off to reveal the maniacal rage on his face. "Kaa-san," he muttered creepily, "this one just might be good after all…"

The sand spun around him until his armor had reasserted itself, the calm look reappearing as he brought his hands together in the ram seal.

"Sabaku kyuu!"

Recca leaped back to dodge the sand as it tried to grab him, launching fireballs as he went. 'He can control it at will' the hotheaded genin muttered, 'great…where can I-Yipes!'

A piece of sand wrapped around the enjutsu-shi's leg, slamming him into the ground. Gaara grinned and covered his captive in sand, clenching his outstretched hand savagely "Sabaku Souso!"

The sand contracted, only for it to split apart as another dragon appeared, soaring into the sky with a piercing cry.

--

"Ryu no en, Ni-shiki: Saiha!" Recca explained, grinning, as the blade headed dragon looped around him. "Should've been a little quicker there." The flame wielder taunted, giving Gaara the finger.

"**Like you can talk."** Saiha mocked**, "Any slower and you'd have been spaghetti sauce."**

"Urusei!" Recca yelled, spiking in defense, "And just how do you know about spaghetti sauce?! It wasn't invented in your time!"

--

Kagero laughed weakly at her son's antics, whilst the surrounding populace had tearstains on their heads.

"Ano…Kagero-san…" Hinata murmured, a little more than terrified, "Those…those dragons…"

Kagero smiled, "They are Recca's strength, eight mighty dragons, each with their own powers." She looked at the shy kunoichi warmly, "Did you ever wonder why our clan name was not Hanabishi, but Hokage?"

The surrounding jounin felt their ears twitch and leaned in to listen to the woman's tale.

"It was because the leader of the clan possessed the natural ability to produce and control flames from his body," the immortal kunoichi explained, "and the source of Recca's flame is the Hachiryuu, the legendary flame of Yamata."

Asuma shivered, 'This guy' he gazed at the fighters booth, 'all these guys…they're monsters!'

--

Sarutobi stared in shock at the boy, completely caught off guard. It was true that Kagero had informed him of the dragons' presence, but seeing one up close and personal was a different matter entirely, for one thing he hadn't needed a fresh pare of underpants when he'd been told about them.

'He's like a living personification of the Shodai-sama's beliefs,' the elderly shinobi wondered, 'the will of fire…' He chuckled weakly, eyeing his favorite blonde hell raiser fondly. 'Naruto-kun may have some fierce competition for the hokage title yet!'

--

Orochimaru felt his bladder release itself at the sight before him. 'Such…such power!' he gasped, watching the Karyuu loop around the genin like a serpent, 'Did I make a mistake when I chose Sasuke?'

He shivered, the heat from the flames exciting his reptilian blood. 'Such raw power,' he whispered, 'only the Kyuubi's can compare to it…' he grit his teeth, eyes widening at a terrifying thought.

'The Akatsuki,' he muttered, 'have they heard of this power?' the snake sannin clenched his fist in fear and determination. 'I must act quickly if I am to secure what I want before they arrive.'

--

"A blade of flame?" Gaara asked, eyes wide, "And those dragons…are you also cursed?"

Recca snorted, "Dunno about cursed," he countered, thumbing over his shoulder "but these guys live in me if that's what you mean."

Gaara's eyes widened, before it set in a calculating look. "Then we shall see whose existence is stronger." He concluded, causing Recca to grin and lunge forwards, Saiha at the ready.

"Wouldn't have it any other way!"

The enjutsu-shi slashed Gaara across the chest with his blade, causing the sand Nin to reply with another wave of sand, which was avoided via Kawarimi.

"Ryu no en, Ichi-shiki: Nadare!" Recca called out, re-summoning the female dragon, "DAN EN!"

The fireballs collided with a wall of sand that cracked, but ultimately held. "The same trick wont work on me twice," Gaara muttered, only to gasp as Recca kicked him in the head.

"You can't see me if you block your own view!" the flame wielder called out, "And I'm not the type to stand still like Domon!"

--

"Screw you Hanabishi!" Domon swore, giving his rival the finger, veins pulsing on his brow and neck, causing Naruto to laugh.

"Relax," the blonde said calmingly, "you know he loves ya."

The giant shivered and eyed his shorter teammate, looking sick, "That…just sounded wrong."

--

Gaara growled and noticed the look his 'father' was leveling at him from atop the stands, shaking his head in disgust. 'The Uchiha was supposed to be the signal,' the redhead muttered sullenly, 'oh well, this will do just fine.'

Abruptly, he brought his hands together in the tiger seal, causing the sand to form a sphere around him.

"What the-? Trying to hide are we?" Recca called out, before hurling more fireballs at the sphere. This time though, they didn't even scorch the sand. "The heck?"

--

"That's Gaara's Suna no Tate, the shield of sand." Kankurou muttered, "Nothing can pierce its shell, and it can react to outside attacks by skewering his opponent."

Domon frowned, shaking his head slightly. 'Hanabishi called out a ringer,' he muttered, 'my Futae no Kiwami could probably deal with it, but then there's the skewering part.' He shivered, 'This needs a team effort, I'd deal with the sphere with the squirt, and Hanabishi'd take him out from long range with one of his Karyuu.'

Naruto smirked up at the giant, "Relax Domon," he said dismissively, "its Nii-san after all."

The giant blinked, then grinned, leering down at his rival in the arena. "Right," he bragged, "that idiot wouldn't die even if he was killed!"

--

"I can hear you asswipe…"Recca growled, a vein pulsing on the back of his head as his ears twitched.

'**It's a sign of faith in you'** Nadare chuckled, her human face appearing against a black background.

'**They have faith in you,' **Saiha added, a grin on his face** 'so show them it's not ill placed.'**

Recca snorted, a grateful gleam in his eyes. "Gotcha…take a break you two, I'm going for this." He charged forwards, all the while writing the symbol for his next Karyuu.

"Ryu no en: San-shiki: HOMURA!"

The Dragon with the jagged maw at the sides of his beak appeared, his flame wrapping around the enjutsu-shi's arm.

"**Here we go!"**

"Homura:" the teen yelled, rearing back his fist as the sand shifted to form spikes, "BEN EN!"

The fiery whip promptly lopped off all the spikes, before wrapping around Recca's arm again, the teen ploughed his fist right through the shield of sand, his fist ramming into what felt like Gaara's jaw.

--

Domon grinned and eyed the older Sand Siblings mockingly. "You were saying about impenetrable?" he asked, leering at them. Kankurou could only stutter in shock, whilst Temari shivered in fear.

"What…IS he?" the kunoichi wondered, not taking her eyes away from the arena.

"My aniki!" Naruto bragged with a grin, eyes closed in his familiar, cute, vulpine manner.

"My rival." Domon Grunted, arms crossed as he gazed down at the enjutsu-shi with stubborn pride.

"My friend." Fuko added with a smile, leaning over the bar to gaze down at her childhood friend and comrade.

"A hot headed monkey." Tokiya finished with a smirk, causing the other three to face fault, and the rest to sweatdrop.

--

Back in the arena, Recca tried to pull his arm out of what felt suspiciously like concrete, when something wrapped around it, something that felt like…

"SHIT!" he yelped, only to be engulfed by the sand as it wrapped around him.

Gaara, his jaw swollen from the flame enhanced right hook, gestured and lifted the sand into the air. "You're caught now" the redhead muttered, "and I've bound your arms, so there's no way for you to summon those dragons by writing their names."

He smirked, a predatory gleam in his eyes as he took in the look of shock on Recca's face. "You think I didn't notice?" he asked, tightening his grip slightly, "You had to do it several times in a row, an idiot would have figured it out."

The smirk settled down into the redhead's normal look of neutrality. "For all your bluster, you rely too heavily on those dragons." He clenched his hands and scowled.

"Owari da…SABAKU SOUSO!"

--

OH NOES! RECCA-KUN IS ABOUT TO BE DESERT COFFIN'D!

(BANG BANG!)

How will our hero escape from this peril?!

(BANG BANG BANG!!)

Will Gaara's existence prove mightier?!

(BANG BANG BANG BANG!!"

And just where the hell are kakashi and Sasuke?

(BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!"

Kyugan: Who the hell is pounding on my door?!

Sasuke: (Otherside of door) KAKASHI! GET YOUR PERVERTED ASS OUT HERE! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR THE EXAMS!

Kyugan: (Eyes the quuivering form of kakashi, overdosed on Gay porn, reaches for mobile) Genma? it's me, triple my bet on Sasuke being disqualified...i have my reasons.

R&R!!

* * *


	24. Chapter 24

Whew! that was a trial, I'm sorry to say that Kakashi won't be joining us this time, he had to escort Sasuke to the exams.

(Sounds of screaming in the distance)

Well...I say escort, but since its impossible to teleport in and out of this room without my permission they had to take the long way out through thr tunnels...good thing it's monday!

(Sound of a guillotine dropping)

...Or is it Tuesday? (Shrugs) Oh well, roll camera.

* * *

Victory; The Uchiha pride.

"SABAKU SOUSOU!"

Gaara's sand contracted for a minute seeming to crush the teen, only for it to explode outwards, causing the redhead to cover his eyes. "Wha-glass?!" he wondered, wincing as he blocked the shards from getting near his face.

"Oi" a familiar voice drawled out, "what was that about me being useless?"

Gaara's eyes widened as he saw Recca step forwards from the dust cloud, surrounded by crimson flames, yet his hair and clothing weren't on fire.

"True, the Hachiryuu lend me the powers of their own flames," Recca admitted, "and for a while I never trained my own…" the enjutsu-shi grinned, "That ended a month ago."

Recca moved into a fighting stance, glaring his opponent down as the flames blazed around him. "Behold the original technique of Hanabishi Recca," he called out, "Honnou no Yoroi!"

--

"Since when did Hanabishi master Kai-o-ken!?" Domon yelled, eyes wide and arms flapping wildly, causing Fuko to sweatdrop.

"Calm down, it's not Kai-o-ken" she reassured the giant, "he called it his armor of flames."

Tokiya frowned, running an analytical eye over this latest predicament. 'So that's Recca's flame, an impenetrable defense that doubles as an offense.' The swordsman snorted, 'Suits him to a tee.'

Naruto grinned at the swordsman mischievously, "Jealous Tokiya?" he prodded, elbowing him coyly.

"Of what?" the swordsman asked coolly, "If I wanted to flash fry myself I'd just jump into a volcano."

'These guys,' Shikamaru shivered, shaking his head at the apparent lack of sanity in his immediate vicinity 'they're seriously crazy!' He eyed the taciturn Shino, tapping him on the shoulder. "Hey, you okay?" he asked, "You gotta fight these guys…"

Shino turned to look at him, his face the epitome of emotionless. "I'm nervous." He commented, before turning back to the fight, causing Shikamaru to sweatdrop.

'You sure don't look it,' the Nara muttered, 'taciturn bastard…'

--

'Recca…' Kagero thought happily, 'While it is true mastering the Hachiryuu was your greatest achievement, you neglected your own flame, to the point you may as well have never had it.' She smiled, 'Mastery of your own flame was the sign of adulthood within the Hokage ningun…you have finally earned the title of Hokage leader, not only in name now.'

Yanagi stared at her champion and smiled, clutching her hands together in joy. 'Recca-kun,' she enthused, 'your flame…looks so strong!'

"YOSHA!" Gai exclaimed tearsa streaming down his cheeks "The flames of youth burn brightly within this one!"

"SENSEI!" Lee called out, eyes blazing "I will enmdeavor to burn twice as brightly as Recca-kun!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"So cute." Kagero noted with a smile, the surrounding poulace gaping at her in awe, Yanagi merely smiling cutely at the green beasts.

--

Gaara stared at the crimson flames and shivered.

"Th' matter, scared?" Recca taunted, only for his eyes to widen as the sand began to wrap around the redhead.

"No," Gaara muttered, a grin forming on his face "excited!"

The sand lunged forwards again, forming hands that reached for the hotheaded genin, only to turn to glass and shatter as they touched the flames. "Nice try," Recca mocked, "but the Honnou no Yoroi can change its heat at will, my limit is up to 10,000 degrees, for now." He shook off a crystalline hand and smirked, "This thing eats up my stamina like Domon at an all you can eat buffet though," he admitted, "so lets get this over with!"

--

Half an hour later:

--

The crowd watched as the two combatants fought each other, Recca apparently owning the battle zone with his defensive and offensive flames. Gaara was limited to long range tactics, since he learned the hard way that punching a wall of fire was a mistake not to be repeated.

'This fight,' the Jinchuuriki muttered, 'if it drags on any longer there's a chance the plan could fail.' He glared up at the Hokage booth, noting the growing look of displeasure on his 'father's' face. 'Best to call this off soon.'

Recca gasped, as he waved off another wall of sand, turning it to glass. 'Dammit!' the teen muttered, 'He's quick, and that sand hurts; even if it can't grab me, he can still club me with it.' He winced as he felt his arm heat up, a telltale sign that his control over his flames was reaching its zenith.

'I'm at my limit,' he conceded, 'one more attack's all I got left, this thing's draining WAY too much chakra.' He glared at his opponent, noting the look of calm on the redhead's face.

'Gotta focus on the fight and make no mistakes.'

--

"They're deadlocked." Asuma muttered. "Gaara's sand can't touch Recca, but Recca's burning up more chakra at a faster rate."

Kurenai nodded, "Both of them have high reserves," she noted "this battle's been going on for well over half an hour." She nodded towards the nobles frowning slightly in irritation, "The daimyo's are growing impatient."

Kagero nodded, "Recca has proved himself a capable strategist by nullifying his enemy's sole advantage," she frowned, "but any longer and they will both collapse from exhaustion."

Asuma nodded, "The answer lies with the one who gives up first." He finished, eyeing the clashing titans carefully.

--

Genma, standing well back due to the heat coming off Hanabishi, frowned. 'The Daimyos aren't looking pleased at how long this is taking.' He muttered, snorting snidely, 'Stupid old farts, like it matters about time limits on the battlefield.

He blinked as Gaara suddenly recalled all his sand and raised an arm. "I give up." The redhead called out, "We're too evenly matched."

The jinchuuriki eyed the enjutsu-shi cautiously, "Had we been accompanied by our teammates, this battle would have been decided differently." He scowled up at the daimyo's in irritation, "As it is, we're wasting their precious time, and I have other things to take care of."

Genma smirked, noticing the looks of affront on the lords' faces and secretly congratulating the redhead, hoping he got promoted just for making his day. "Right," he muttered, "winner by surrender, Hanabishi Recca!"

--

Recca frowned, then grinned, deactivating his armor and walking up to the redhead. "Good match!" He greeted, holding out his hand, "Let's do it again sometime!"

Gaara raised his eyebrow in confusion, "You are aware that I'm your opponent?" he asked, Recca merely grinned at the teen.

"So?" the enjutsu-shi countered, "Fight's over, we're just two guys now!"

Gaara examined the possibly insane (Note the irony…) genin cautiously, before shaking his hand grudgingly. "I won't lose next time." The redhead promised, heading back towards the fighters booth.

--

"Typical Hanabishi," Domon muttered, snorting, "has to make friends with every guy he beats."

"Like you're one to talk," Fuko snickered, elbowing him in the gut, "You and Recca used to beat each other to a pulp, even before we learned he could make flames."

"Y'see?" Domon smirked, tapping his chest proudly, "I'm living proof!"

Tokiya sighed and covered his head, "Baka Saru Tachi…" he muttered, prompting a weak laugh from Naruto.

"A heh-heh…"

After Gaara and Recca entered the booth, the taciturn redhead shot a look towards his siblings, who nodded, the three promptly disappearing in a swirl of sand. "DAMMIT!" Domon cursed, rubbing his eyes and growling in irritation, "WARN A GUY WHEN YOU DO THAT!" he roared.

Fuko blinked, staring at the sand as it fell, "Where'd they go?" she wondered looking a little suspicious.

"They lost all their matches, there's little reason for them to stay here." Tokiya noted, looking up into the sky suspiciously, "And he DID say he had things to do."

Naruto sneezed, the sand irritating his nose, "Man…they sure know how to make an exit…" he muttered, wincing as he felt sand caught in his eye.

--

Genma eyed the damage to the arena and sighed. 'Man…can we even handle another two rounds?' he wondered, before shaking his head in resignation. "Ladies in gentlemen," he announced, "with this fight the first round of the finals is hereby-!"

There was a massive swirl of leaves that caused the senbon chewing chunin to backpedal, and when it cleared two people were standing in the ring, back to back.

"Sorry we're late." Kakashi said, smiling with his sole visible eye, looking a little haggard. Several crickets chose that moment to go off, a tumbleweed rolling across the arena, causing the copy-nin to sweatdrop. "Ano…I know we're a little late and all…" He scratched his head, looking awkward, "Was Sasuke disqualified?"

The looks on the crowd's faces were all he needed to confirm the fact.

"…Oops…?"

--

The prankster trio was laughing their asses off at their sensei's predicament, by this stage not only had said posteriors come off, they were probably half way to wave country and still going.

"Your tardiness came back to bite you in the ass sensei!" Naruto cackled, tears peaking out the corner of his eyes as he held onto the rail.

"Lemme guess," Domon mocked, posing as 'The Thinker', "You saw a black cat and moved to avoid it, only to have to walk under a ladder. Then, whilst accidentally breaking a mirror, you knocked over a beaker of salt, which happened to belong to an old woman who was fishing, causing her to chase you down the path of life for ruining her mirror?"

Recca howled and had to hold onto the giant's shoulder for support, as Naruto rolled across the floor, holding his gut. "Good one Franken-dick!" the enjutsu-shi roared, slapping the giant's shoulder.

Tokiya eyebrow rose as he looked at the flustered jounin impassively. 'THIS is the infamous sharingan Kakashi?' he snorted derisively, 'I'm not impressed.'

--

Kakashi winced as he overhead his students' joy at his expense, scratching his head in embarrassment. "Ano, I'm really sorry about all this…" he began, only to be cut off as Genma held up a hand.

"Don't bother Kakashi," the senbon chewing proctor muttered, secretly savoring the opportunity to tell the older shinobi off, filing the memory away to keep him warm on those cold lonely nights, "The rules held up until the ten minute window was over, Sasuke can't compete in the exam at all."

Sasuke swore and pointed at the fighter's booth, clearly livid with the judges' decision. "Why should I fail whilst those nobodies get to advance?" he yelled, face etched in a mask of fury, "It's not my fault Kakashi has the time monitoring skills of a half dead sloth!"

Kakashi winced at this; trying to placate the Uchiha, before he made a bigger fool of himself. "Calm down Sasuke…" he began, but it was to no avail, the Uchiha's pride had been stung, something that rated quite high on the Konoha 'Oh holy florking shnitt-o-meter', right under 'Jiraiya groped Tsunade' and 'OH SHIT! KYUUBI!'

"NO!" Sasuke yelled, batting the jounin's hand aside, "I worked too hard for this! I won't be tossed aside! I demand the right to fight!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Sasuke, and quite a few other people for that matter, stumbled from the force of the yell, before glaring at the blonde genin that had leapt into the ring.

--

"If I have to hear you whine your damn ass off for being tardy, I swear I'll kill you right now." Naruto muttered, before eying Genma with a look of annoyance. "Proctor, tell you what," he offered, "if I fight this guy here and now, and he beats me, he takes my place in the finals."

"THE HELL YOU SAYING SQUIRT?!" Domon roared, causing the blonde's hair to ruffle, despite the distance between them.

"YEAH!" Recca added, leaning over the railing, "LET OKAMA-CHAN STEW IN HIS OWN JUICE!"

Genma raised an eyebrow at the teen's words, intrigued. 'Uchiha Sasuke…queer?' he shook his head is dismissal, 'better than a pedophile like Orochimaru…'

"I'll have to leave that up to the judges," the jounin muttered, scratching his neck "please give us a moment…"

"WE ACCEPT!" the Kazekage roared out, a look of maniacal glee in his eyes, whilst the Hokage nodded solemnly, eyeing his younger counterpart with a frown.

Genma blinked, ears still slightly numb from the Wind leader's lack of decorum. "Oooookay…right then." He raised an arm, "Under the acceptance of the judges, a special match will be held between Uchiha Sasuke and Hanabishi Naruto."

As predicted, the crowd went wild.

"Bastards." Domon growled, "It's like the damn Urabatosatsujin all over again…"

The giant's friends frowned in bitter remembrance, glaring at the crowd as they cheered for the raven-haired genin.

--

Sasuke stepped forwards, eyeing his opponent with a satisfied smirk on his face. "I'm going to enjoy this dobe." He bragged, "I've been looking forward to getting a piece of you for some time now."

Naruto shivered, "Whatever," he muttered in disgust, "keep you damn perverted fantasies to yourself, Sasuke-CHAN."

The Uchiha's face grew livid, and he settled into a ready stance, Naruto moving into a stance as well, hand hovering over the hilt of his sword but not touching it.

The two teammates eyed each other warily, the Uchiha's sharingan quickly coming into play, the twin tomoes spinning. Sasuke smirked as Naruto's eyes lowered before the dojutsu activated. "Scared to look me in the eye?" he scoffed, a superior smirk on his face that turned to a scowl as Naruto snorted.

"Hardly," the blonde scoffed, "just making sure you cant trick me into revealing my techniques." He smirked at the Uchiha, "A little something the rest of us learned from Zabuza," he explained, titling his head towards the fighters booth, "all three of us know how to fight the sharingan now."

"You're raving," the Uchiha mocked confidently, "the sharingan cannot be beaten."

Naruto raised an eyebrow mockingly, before a distinctly vulpine grin tugged at his lips. "No?" he mocked, "Then try predicting my moves."

Sasuke smirked and turned to the side, promptly disappearing.

--

Gai stared in shock at the teen, before rounding on his eternal rival in a righteous, yet undeniably youthful, rage. "Kakashi!" the bizarre beast yelled, "How could you use my teachings for yourself!"

The Lazy jounin sighed, having expected this outburst from his 'rival' and prepared an answer in advance. "I was training him to fight Gaara," he admitted truthfully, "I wasn't expecting this…"

"Should've turned up on time then." Kurenai muttered dispassionately, "You missed all the good fights."

Kagero smiled primly, "Indeed, maybe my sons and Domon-kun should have been training themselves from the start," she opined, "they improved so much in the short space of time."

Kakashi blinked, not quite understanding what he'd just heard. "They all made it through?" he wondered, looking around for confirmation.

The immortal kunoichi turned in her seat, leveling a look at the jounin. It wasn't a bad look, there was no malice in it, but there was disappointment there which hurt more than anything else. "Yes" she replied softly. The words 'no thanks to YOU' hovering quite obviously in the air between the two, unspoken, but there all the same.

The cycloptic jounin shuffled slightly and was about to reach for his pornography when Kagero grabbed his wrist with all the speed and strength of a striking snake. "No escaping this time," she chastised, pulling the book out of his hands, "you've made your bed, now watch; SEE how your students have grown."

Kakashi was about to demand the return of his book, but the look of maternal authority in the woman's eyes promptly shot that thought down in flames.

'So this is what's it's like to have a mother.' He muttered bitterly, 'Can't say I missed it much.'

--

Naruto blocked a kick to his ribs with his sheath, flipping out of the way of a leg sweep. "Running scared dobe?" the Sasuke called out, "No witty comebacks now eh?"

Naruto said nothing and just kept on dodging. Sasuke grinned and lunged forwards, aiming to slug the blonde in the face, only for him to vanish. "Muda-da." The Uchiha smirked, "My sharingan can detect your movements…" He spun round with a spinning heel kick, "And you're too slow to take my back!"

Abruptly, something made the Uchiha freeze, a few locks of dark hair fell down the side of his face.

"You were saying?" Naruto asked, sheathing his sword as he stood behind the Uchiha, a smirk on his face.

Sasuke trembled slightly for a few seconds, then smirked and closed his eyes mockingly. "Feh, I should've figured you were a coward whose only skill was to attack from behind."

"Seriously," Naruto sighed loudly, shaking his head in disbelief "for all the time Kakashi favored you, he must've taught you jack." He smirked at the Uchiha; "He told you himself that a shinobi should never leave his back unguarded, yet here I've taken it twice." The blondes face set into a fierce scowl, causing many to shiver. "If I had been an enemy," he muttered, "you'd be DEAD by now."

Sasuke scowled at the blonde, a hint of some hidden emotion showing for a moment, before it was replaced by his usual superior smirk. "A shinobi must always guard his rear, you say?" He muttered, before blurring out of sight and reappearing behind Naruto, a kunai held at the blonde's throat. "Practice what you preach dobe."

--

"They're both so fast," Asuma noted as he gazed at the two; "did they both practice with Gai's method?"

Kurenai shook her head, "No, Naruto was this fast at the start of the exam too, and to my knowledge, had only met Lee-kun around that time."

Gai frowned, catching on to what the curly-haired genjutsu specialist was saying. "In which case," he muttered, "it is likely that Naruto is holding back."

Kakashi looked uninterested, but internally he was applauding his blonde charge for his stunning growth. "Maybe so, I wouldn't put it past him." He admitted, eyeing the duo carefully, features neutral. "But then…Sasuke's just warming up too."

--

Sasuke smirked, still holding the Kunai at the blonde's throat. "We're about even in the speed department," the avenger conceded, "I'll compliment you on that much at least." Abruptly, the Uchiha swung his fist in a backhand strike, aiming for Naruto's jaw. "But I'm stronger than you!"

Naruto dodged to the side and avoided all the Uchiha's swipes by twirling his sheath like a staff.

"Even that steel sheath won't help you!" Sasuke yelled, pulling out a Fuuma Shuriken, "Today I'll have satisfaction for everything you've done!"

--

Orochimaru watched in sadistic glee as his 'chosen one' traded blows with the blonde Jinchuuriki. 'Yessssss…that's the way it should be.' He hissed, 'It was a mere fluke that the blonde managed to pass the exam, but now Sasuke will prove he is superior to him…as I predicted.'

He smirked behind the veil and resisted the urge to lick his lips and fangs in anticipation, a trait that would give him away immediately to his former sensei.

Sarutobi on the other hand, watched the proceedings carefully, with the air of a jeweler evaluating the price of a gemstone. 'Sasuke-kun is indeed an amazing individual, as expected of the Uchiha clan…' he scowled, 'but his pride will be his downfall, he's more interested in showing off than adhering to the chunin directive.'

The Sandaime frowned slightly, a smirk forming on his aged face.

'And from the look in Naruto's eyes…he has a plan.'

--

Sasuke slashed repeatedly at the blonde with a combination of Lee's Taijutsu and his own skills with kunai and Shuriken. He was starting to get irritated; no matter how hard he pressed, Naruto still wouldn't draw his sword and face him.

"Stop underestimating me dobe!" he roared, swinging round to face the rear, where Naruto was standing, "Our speed is the same! No matter how hard you try, that trick wont work!"

The blonde refused to comply and merely blurred out of view, prompting the Uchiha to whirl round again, chasing after him.

"Stop running around!" Sasuke snarled, "Fight me like a man you Kinpatsu Gokiburi!"

If the insult had any effect on the Hanyou it didn't show, as he blurred out of view yet again.

--

"What on earth is Naruto doing?" Kakashi wondered with a frown, "He wont beat Sasuke just trying to take the rear…"

Kagero said nothing, merely watched the match with a neutral expression. Gai was also watching the proceedings carefully, the energetic jounin unusually silent, much to the relief of the crowd.

'He mastered the Gouken basic style and speed within a month,' he muttered, 'Uchiha Sasuke is an incredible young man…' He frowned, eyeing the Uchiha's opponent carefully. 'But Uzumaki Naruto has had no such prior training, and yet he's not only moving as fast, but Sasuke's sharingan can barely track him.'

Gai blinked as he noticed Kakashi roll up his Hitai-ate, revealing his own sharingan. 'So my eternal rival…even you are intrigued and trying to learn more?' He snorted, 'I would expect no less.'

Kagero frowned, sending a passing glare at the jounin's eye, before sending her gaze back to the ring.

'The sharingan's perceptive abilities enables Sasuke to read his opponents movements like an motion sensor,' she muttered to herself, 'but they are limited to what he can see in front of him, his peripheral vision isn't as effective, one of the failings which the Hyuuga Kekkei Genkai more than compensates for.' She frowned thoughtfully, 'And Naruto makes a habit of circling him to take the rear, meaning Sasuke has to actually move to track him…'

The immortal Kunoichi smiled suddenly, putting the clues together at last.

"Something wrong Kagero?" Kurenai asked, looking at the woman, earning a shake of the head in reply.

"No," Kagero assured her friend, "it's just that Naruto has Sasuke right where he wants him." As Kakashi blinked at her with his normal eye she smiled. "He's exploiting Sasuke's two weaknesses." The immortal kunoichi elaborated cryptically, causing the collective jounin to blink in confusion.

--

Sasuke was beyond livid at this point, letting out a curse as the blonde dodged to the side yet again. "DAMMIT!" He roared, "WILL YOU QUIT SCUTTLING AROUND LIKE A-!"

CRACK!!

For a moment, time stood still, and then the Uchiha fell to the floor, howling in pain.

'What?!' he yelped, 'How did he-?!'

--

Up in the stands, the collective jounin stared at the disbelief at the teen's predicament.

"His leg…BROKE?" Kurenai muttered in shock, wincing as the Uchiha's screams rose from the arena floor.

Sure enough, Sasuke's left leg was twisted at an unhealthy angle, the whole thing actually facing the wrong direction at the knee.

"When did Naruto do that?" Asuma gaped, his cigarette dying down out of shock, "Did he dislocate it with a sword strike?"

Kakashi shook his head, still staring down at the arena with his sharingan spinning, "He didn't touch him…not even once."

Kurenai eyed the lazy jounin in exasperation, "Then how did-?"

"Speed." Gai muttered, enawed realization dawning on his face, "Kagero-san…when you said weaknesses…"

Kagero smiled cryptically at the Taijutsu expert.

--

"Surprised?" Naruto asked, stepping into the Uchiha's field of vision, "I know exactly how your Sharingan works: the faster YOU are, the faster it enables you to detect and react to my movements." He frowned, "But in order to keep up, you relied entirely on its ability to perceive my movements, and forgot the limits of your own body."

Naruto eyed the fallen Uchiha with an opaque stare; "Moving around at top speed constantly makes it hard for ones body to adapt to sudden changes in direction." He explained.

"THAT'S BULL!" Sasuke yelled, "WHY WEREN'T YOU AFFECTED?!"

Naruto smirked, "I'm used to traveling at such speeds." he replied, shrugging his shoulders dismissively, "And besides, I don't have an annoying dojutsu telling me when to move," he pointed his thumb at himself, "I've got my own instincts; in other words, my body knows when to react on its own."

--

"Sasuke's pride was his downfall," Kagero admitted, not taking her eyes of the two in the arena, "but his defeat lay in the Sharingan he prided himself in."

"You see," she explained, noting the looks of shock on the jounin populace, "Naruto took advantage of its perceptive capabilities, and increased his speed slightly whenever he moved to take the rear or dodge a blow." She pointed down at the stricken Uchiha, "Sasuke assumed they were moving at the same speed, and unconsciously sped up to catch him." She sighed, shaking her head, "Sasuke effectively destroyed himself."

The collective jounin shivered, looking down at the arena in wonder.

'Using the sharingan's own capabilities against its user…' Gai muttered, enawed at the blonde's achievement, 'Naruto-kun…you are one scary kid…'

--

Well there you have it, the grudge match of the century, first half complete.

What? you thought it was over? Give Sasuke a little credit...on second thoughts dont, bastard's never had to pay for anything in his life...and that damn Kazekage lost me half my earnings!

Genma: Hey, you said if he was disqualified, special matches dont count, I gave you half after all, no live up to your end of the bargain.

Kyugan: (Grumbles) Fine, (Snaps fingers amd a pair of arms wraps around Genma) just don't leave a mess okay?

Shizune: Arigato! (Drags a grinnin Genma into the bedroom) Please keep an eye on Tsunade-sama!

Kyugan: Oh I will, (leers at the comatose form of the Slug sennin, lying on the couch in a drunken stupor) Dare say I'll keep BOTH on her.

(Pulls out a camera and starts snapping picturesof Tsunade in various poses)

Kyugan: Jiraiya'll pay through the nose for these...hmm, now where did I put the maid outfits?

R&R People! Daddy needs a new batch of inspiration!

* * *


	25. Chapter 25

Yo, long time no see. Anywho, since Kaka-baka isn;t here, you'll just have to make due with me giving a disclaimer.

(sound of a camera flashing)

None of the characters listed here belong to me, though I sorely wish they did.

(More Camera flashes)

This is purely a work of fanfiction and no relation at all to the actual manga goodness.

Tsunade: (groans) my head...make the world stop...hey WTF?!

Kyugan: (hides camera and turns to face Tsunade, who is wearing a schoolgirl outfit.) Morning.

Tsunade: Don't morning me you perv! What the hell are you doing?

Kyugan: Keeping you distracted. (Dodges a punch that could hospitalize Godzilla) You were really smashed, you even felt up Jiraiya.

Tsunade: I WHAT?! (Gazes in horror at her hand) BLEACH! I NEED BLEACH!

Kyugan: uh, I wouldn;t open thqat dorr just yet...

(Tsunade opens the door, Genma and Shizune look over at her in annoyance, both are decidedly naked.)

Genma: Dammit woman can;t you see I'm in the middle of someone here?!

(Tsunade blinks, closes the door slowly and then walks back to tyhe couch, very stiffly.)

Kyugan: (Holds out sake cup) Hair of the dog? (Nods as she grabs the whole damn bottle before raising a remote) Roll camera.

* * *

Sasuke's rage; Tenfuuin and Chidori!

Lee, still recovering from the savage beating he took, yet moderately healed with Yanagi's help, stared at Naruto in wonder. He knew from the preliminaries that the blonde was a strong individual, and his reputation as the no.2 rookie preceded him.

'Still,' he muttered, feeling a shiver go up his spine, 'this level of skill…is almost scary!'

"Sensei…" the Taijutsu specialist asked, hands clenching around the crutches the doctors stubbornly insisted he use, "What on earth…is Naruto-kun?"

Kagero blinked, then smiled at the 'cute' clone of Gai warmly. "Like you Lee, Naruto is someone who earned everything he has with his own two hands." She smiled at the youth's look of befuddlement, "He's strong because he worked to be strong, prior to my adoption of him though, he was considered the dead-last at the academy."

Lee's eyes widened, he himself having born that title, even after his graduation he remembered being chased down the streets being called a 'loser' or 'dead-last'.

"But he worked hard, and eventually claimed a position amongst the top five." Kagero continued, "To him, nothing mattered more than proving his worth to all those who doubted him." The woman smiled, "He told me once that he wanted to fight you, ever since he saw you fight with that boy from sand." She chuckled at his look of shock, "Not just him, Recca and Domon too, they all grew strong together, and all of them wanted to take a crack at you."

Lee stared at the woman, awe on his face, before she placed a hand on his shoulder. "You should sit down Lee-kun," Kagero insisted "you need to rest."

The immortal kunoichi stood up to offer him her own chair, which the genin tried to refuse, but Kagero's motherly instincts won over his objections, and the boy found himself sitting down, his crutches resting against the seat. "You can't heal if you don't rest," Kagero reasoned, "and Naruto wants to fight you as soon as you get better."

Lee blinked, eyeing the woman in awe, and then made a fist. "YOSH! Hanabishi-san! Please tell Naruto-kun, Recca-san and Domon-san that I will recover swiftly so that we can face each other!"

"LEE!" Gai yelled, tears running down his face, "Your youthful spirit is burning!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

Kagero chuckled weakly as the two exchanged 'youthful' hugs amidst sparkles and the sound of crashing waves. "So energetic." She said, smiling weakly, causing Kakashi to sweatdrop and shoot a wary glance at Kagero as he tried not to retch in his mask from the sight.

'This woman's a veritable Bodhisattva.' he muttered, eyeing the hugging duo and turning slightly green, 'Goddamn form-fitting Leotards!'

--

Naruto stared down at the Uchiha, being careful to avoid eye contact, despite the teen's position. "Next time you want to face me," he muttered, turning around and walking away, "come at me with your own techniques."

Sasuke growled as the blonde walked off, his vision turning red. "Kisama…don't walk away from me!" he grunted, struggling to stand up, wincing at the pain in his leg, "We're not finished!"

Naruto didn't look back, though he did stop. "Give it up," he ordered, "with your leg like that, you'll be lucky if you're up and about in a month." He waved to Genma, nodding as he caught the proctor's attention. "This match is over," he stated, thumbing over his shoulder dismissively, "call a medic or something."

Sasuke growled at the back of the blonde's head, as if willing it to implode through sheer willpower alone. 'Damn you!' he hissed, 'Underestimating me…treating me like dirt," his hands clenched into the dirt, "who do you think you are!?'

He felt a twinge of pain from his neck, as the symbol of Orochimaru's seal glowed. 'This thing…Kakashi warned me that it would halt my development…' He scowled, 'But the power…that miraculous power…'

Sasuke grit his teeth, watching his teammate walk away, the ghostly image of Itachi's back superimposed over it.

'I can't lose to this guy!'

--

Kakashi's eyes widened as he noticed the purple chakra rising from the seal with his sharingan. "Sasuke!" he yelled, dashing to the barrier, "STOP!"

--

"Hroooooooooohhhhh!!"

Naruto blinked as the disturbing feeling of the cursed seal's chakra filled the air, followed by a sickening cracking noise. Turning around revealed Sasuke standing on his feet and smirking at him, his leg apparently healed, flame like markings covering half of the boy's face.

'Those marks again…and that sickening chakra…' Naruto muttered, scowling, 'It's like the damn forest all over again.'

Sasuke grinned as he stared at his clenched fist. "Not so talkative now are you?" he muttered, the Uchiha's voice having taken on an arrogant tone that seemed to fit with his personality perfectly.

"So you got an instant tattoo job." Naruto mocked, "I'm supposed to be impressed? You should have asked for a whole face job, lord knows they couldn't have made you any uglier."

Sasuke's smirk didn't waver, if anything it grew even more confident. "Spout all the crap you like," he boasted, "they'll be your last words."

With that the teen blurred out of view, catching Naruto with a kick to the side and sending the teen flying.

--

"He's FAST!" Domon yelped, as he watched the teen vanish again, disappearing from the giant's mental radar briefly.

"What's up with those freaky tattoos?" Recca growled, "Koku says he feels a weird power coming from them."

Domon blinked, and then scowled, looking around the stands warily. "Bet that damn Orochimaru's got something to do with this!" he muttered, before turning back to the arena as Fuko winced, Naruto having been sent hurtling into the air.

--

"Surprised, Naruto?" Sasuke asked, hovering behind the teen using Kagebuyo, "This is true power, something the likes of which you've ever seen," he smirked, "and who better to wield it than me?"

Naruto growled, fangs showing as he glared at the Uchiha from the corner of his eye, careful to avoid direct eye contact. "You think letting some pedophile place a demonic hicky on you is a sign of power?" he growled, only for Sasuke to snort in rely.

"Jealous?" the avenger mocked, "You should be." He leaned forward and whispered in the blonde's ear, a smirk on his lips the entire time. "You'll never upstage me again, so long as I have this." He whispered grinning dangerously, "Know your place from now on."

Naruto smirked confidently, completely unfazed by the Uchiha's boasts. "I already do," he mocked, turning his head slightly, avoiding the Uchiha's eyes, "it's on the Hokage's throne, looking down at you."

Sasuke's grin turned to a scowl, as he growled in the back of his throat. "We'll see about that!" he snapped, the raven-haired youth performing his Shishi-Rendan flawlessly on the seemingly defenseless blonde. But just before the final blow landed, the clone disappeared, causing the Uchiha to curse and land badly against the arena floor.

"Did you honestly think that all I was good at was kenjutsu?" Naruto's voice called out mockingly, echoing off the arena walls. "You forgot that the kage bunshin is my trademark jutsu, I know it inside and out!"

Sasuke twitched; he HAD forgotten that little detail, but decided to not let such a minor detail set him off-balance. "Hiding again, Naruto?" he mocked, eyeing the surroundings, "Scared of me?"

"Scared of you whispering more sweet nothings in my ear," Naruto countered mockingly. "Don't think I didn't notice you popping a rod back there you Tori-atama Okama!"

--

Recca and the gang were in stitches, the two rivals leaning on each other for support, whilst Fuko sat on the floor, howling with laughter, even Tokiya was finding it hard to suppress his amusement.

"Bird-headed Tranny!" Recca laughed, "That's the best one yet!"

Domon's roars of laughter increased at the statement, as he pointed into the ring amidst tears of laughter. "Look at Uchiha's face!" The giant howled, "I can't tell if he's blushing or angry!"

Shikamaru fought to suppress a snicker. 'Sure explains a lot,' he reasoned, 'like why he never noticed women.'

In a corner of the booth, Shino kept his own counsel, but if you looked close enough you'd see that he was trembling from suppressed laughter. If you were really brave enough, you'd have heard what sounded like over a million miniature sniggers emanating from his overcoat.

--

Sasuke growled, biting the inside of his cheek to remain calm. "Playing the fool to the end are we?" he called out, trying to gauge the blonde's position, when Naruto didn't reply, the Uchiha snorted. "What's the matter chicken," he called out, "nothing to say?"

"DORYUUSEN!"

Sasuke's eyes widened and he spun round, only to get a hail of dirt and rock to the face that sent him flying backwards.

"How many times do I have to keep reminding you?" Naruto growled, lifting his sword from the crater he'd formed, scowling irritably. "A real shinobi never lets his back be taken twice, " he muttered, "How many times do I have to keep pounding it into your thick skull?"

Sasuke snarled and flipped away from the teen.

"You'll pay for that!"

--

"What are those markings on Sasuke's body?" Kagero asked, looking serious as she tilted her head slightly.

"The Tenfuuin," Kakashi explained with a scowl, "a cursed seal designed by Orochimaru of the sannin, the three greatest ninja of Konoha."

Gai nodded, picking up where his rival trailed off. "He defected several years ago, after being turned down for the title of Yondaime." The beast shivered, "Even Morino Ibiki is scared of him."

Kagero nodded, "And the markings?" she reminded, sensing they were getting off target, smiling as Kurenai took up the slack.

"We don't know the exact details," the genjutsu specialist admitted, "but Orochimaru only places them on a select few 'gifted' individuals, such as Sasuke…or Anko-san." She added, wincing at the thought of her friend's torment.

Kakashi scowled, glaring down at his impetuous student. "The seal corrupts the mind of the victim, in exchange for granting them tremendous power." His fists tightened, "However, there's only a ten percent chance that the victim will survive having it placed on them, and if they come to depend on it, their potential for growth decreases."

Kagero nodded, eyeing the Hokage booth warily.

'I see, so Sarutobi-sama was right.'

--

Sasuke eyed the blonde carefully, the two circling each other like a pair of wolves. 'He's still the same speed as me, even with the seal.' the Uchiha growled, 'No matter, I got him to draw his sword, I can see how he fights with it and make it my own.'

Naruto stood, sword tip towards the ground, eyeing his opponent. 'Whatever the fuck you are...' He growled mentally, 'you're still a Konoha ninja, so killing you won't be taken very well.' He sheathed the sword and moved into the battojutsu stance, causing Sasuke to smirk.

"You ready?" the raven-haired teen asked, crossing his palms over his face. Not waiting for a reply, he back flipped rapidly towards the wall, continuing up it before sliding to a halt, crouched low. The Uchiha popped his joints, before making three familiar seals.

'Ox, hare, monkey…'

--

Kakashi moaned and covered his eyes, "Dammit Sasuke! Calm down!" he yelled, "Don't you dare use that jutsu!"

Gai's eyes widened at the sight, "Kakashi…the reason you trained him in Taijutsu…" he began, prompting a sigh from Kakashi as the copy-nin shook his head in resignation.

"Hai…he's the same type as me…"

--

Naruto stared in shock as a massive build-up of chakra formed in the Uchiha's hands, sparking with electricity. 'What the…a lightning element jutsu?' he muttered, 'Where did the teme learn…'

He froze in shock as it hit him.

Flashback

"_As you all know there are only five base elements in ninjutsu, and each of the five shinobi nations is named after them, Fire, water, earth, wind and lightning."_

"_People whose chakra nature is inclined towards a specific type, can perform that type of jutsu easier than someone who isn't." he shrugged, putting the paper away._

"_For example, people like the Uchiha had an affinity towards fire, which is why the Goukakyuu is considered a standard jutsu for them."_

_The trio frowned in thought, "So how does those paper thingies work?" Domon muttered._

Kakashi shrugged, "Lightning element: the paper gets wrinkled, like mine…

End Flashback

"Kakashi-sensei…" Naruto growled, glaring up at the stands out the corner of his eye.

--

"…You fucking bastard!" Recca snarled, clutching his fists together as he glared at the Uchiha in anger.

"He even told us he was a lightning element type," Domon growled, "says not everyone can do it." He rammed a fist into the wall, adding to the damage he'd inflicted in his own match. "And then he goes and teaches one to Uchiha!"

Tokiya raised an eyebrow at the anger coming off the two and decided to watch in silence.

--

Sasuke smirked as the Chidori reached its completion, sweeping his arm out and causing damage to the wall. "Your sword may be good Naruto," he called out over the noise, "but I'll cleave it in two!"

With that he charged down the side of the wall, digging a trench as he went. As he lunged forwards, another noise emerged over the sound of crumbling rock, a distinct, high pitched, chirping noise that almost deafened everyone in the arena.

--

Kagero's eyes were wide at the sheer power she felt coming off the boy's hand. "What kind of technique…!"

"A simple thrust." Gai supplied, fists clenching, "However, it is a technique especially designed for assassination, the speed of the thrust, combined with the sheer quantity of chakra produced by the heightened flesh…"

He shook himself, leveling a look at the kunoichi, "Because of the speed of the user, you hear a distinct noise: the sound of a thousand birds lunging straight towards you…" Sasuke hit the ground and accelerated, disappearing in the dust cloud. "That is why the technique is called…"

Naruto blinked, as Sasuke's leering grin appeared not three feet away, as the Avenger lunged forwards, his hand screeching with the power it held.

"Chidori!" Gai finished, just as Sasuke rammed his hand towards Naruto's chest at point blank range.

--

Sasuke grinned as he lunged forwards, not missing the look of shock on his opponent's face.

'MINE!'

To his surprise though, Naruto spun on his heel, still in the battojutsu stance, and appeared to apparate at the teen's side as he passed by.

"Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu!"

Sasuke swore and tried to move, but the back of Naruto's blade rammed into the back of the Uchiha's skull, sending him tumbling head over heals clumsily, to land in a boneless heap five feet away.

"Ryukansen!"

--

Gai sighed in relief, as the Uchiha finally came to a halt. "The technique is Kakashi's sole original one," he finished, "and it earned the name Raikiri when he cut through a bolt of lightning with it."

Kagero blinked at this piece of information, before eyeing the copy-ninja carefully. "What were you thinking, teaching a genin such a technique?" she asked in a level tone, though various people were making various efforts to get far away from ground zero as they sensed the stiletto steel in the woman's voice.

Kakashi sighed, shaking his head slowly. "I thought I was teaching him responsibility," the jounin muttered, "I see I went wrong."

Gai snorted, patting his rival reassuringly on the back. "Fortunately, the fact it was a straight thrust, coupled with the speed, makes it hard for the user to change directions quickly." He shook his head, "We're lucky that Sasuke hasn't fully mastered the sharingan yet, or Naruto would have a hole in his chest the size of a melon."

--

Naruto stared at the limp form of the Uchiha, watching for the slightest hint of movement, causing Genma to swallow nervously. 'Damn…these kids aren't normal!' the chunin muttered eyeing the blonde in particular. 'No-one's ever dodged Kakashi's technique like that,' the jounin thought wildly, 'it was a last minute gamble…one wrong move and he'd have been skewered.'

Shaking himself, the senbon chewer stepped forward raising a hand. "Since it appears Uchiha Sasuke is unconscious, winner by knockout is-!"

Naruto held up a hand, silencing the jounin in mid-announcement. "Not yet," he muttered, eyes not leaving his opponents back, "he's faking it."

Genma blinked at this, confused, until he heard what sounded like someone snorting.

--

Sasuke chuckled darkly, pulling himself off the floor slowly, before turning to eye the blond. "Lucky shot…dobe." He smirked, blood running down his forehead from its intimate meeting with the arena floor, sharingan eyes reeling with power and bloodlust.

Naruto said nothing, merely sheathed his sword again and eyed the avenger cautiously. 'That seal must be deadening his nerves to the pain.' The blonde thought, wincing as he noticed the markings flash red and spread a little more, 'So I have to really clobber him if I wanna take him down without killing him.'

'Not that I wouldn't be well within my rights if I did kill the bastard,' he muttered with a growl, a twinge of pain flaring up inside, 'he was trying to kill me back there!'

Sasuke cracked his neck joints and clenched his left hand, eyeing the blonde carefully. 'I have enough chakra for one more Chidori,' he noted, 'then I'm limited to Taijutsu.' He winced as he felt his shoulder ache, the seal spreading even further. 'This seal strengthens me, but it also eats up my chakra like there's no tomorrow.' A smirk crossed his face, 'A small price to pay for power, the power to defeat HIM…to defeat everyone!'

"Naruto!" The Uchiha cried out confidently, flipping back a good ten feet or so, "This ends here!"

The Hanyou merely scowled and moved into his battojutsu stance, eyes like flints.

"I couldn't agree more."

--

Kakashi eyed the teens cautiously; ready to jump in if things got messy. "Sasuke's limit with the Chidori is two a day at his current chakra level." He explained to Kagero, "With the seal eating up his chakra even when inactive, it's amazing he could do even that."

Kagero said nothing, causing the jounin to shiver at the look of calm on her face. "If Naruto isn't careful, he could die here." Kakashi added, wincing, as the face didn't change in the slightest. "Ano…Kagero-san-?" he asked, looking concerned, reaching out to touch her shoulder cautiously.

"Hatake-san," Kagero cut in, her eyes not leaving the ring, "please shut up and let me watch the match."

Kurenai winced as Kakashi was frozen in a giant stalagmite, the kanji for 'cold' hovering in the background. 'Kagero sure can be scary when she wants.' The genjutsu specialist muttered, as Gai attempted to revive his eternal rival with 'youthful' cries and a, disturbingly youthful, full body hug that would send the most devout homophobe into hysterics.

Meanwhile, Hinata was trembling with fear and worry as she stared down at the object of her affections. She didn't know Sasuke that well, but she knew enough that he wasn't the same boy that had gone with them to the academy not so long ago.

The reason being, THIS Sasuke was out for blood, whereas the one she knew had been cold and aloof, suffering from the same 'kunai-up-the-ass' disease as Neji nii-san maybe, but definitely not psychotic.

"Naruto-kun," she whispered, holding a hand to her heart, "be careful…"

--

The whole arena fell silent as the two eyed each other, neither making a single movement. The wind seemed to pick up, blowing the dust off the ground, wrapping around the combatants at times.

_A leaf detached from one of the trees and slowly made it way towards the ground._

Sasuke smirked and slammed through the seals for the Chidori, leaping back to cover more distance as he did so, the jutsu fully armed as he landed.

_The leaf tumbled gently over and over in the light breeze._

Sasuke charged towards the blonde Jinchuuriki, digging up the ground with his Chidori; building up momentum for the killing blow as he charged. Naruto shifted slightly and moved into a tighter battojutsu stance.

_The leaf continued to tumble gently in its freefall._

Sasuke leered madly; lips peeled back revealing his teeth, as he dashed forwards; the marks of the seal seeming to spread even further, as if fueled by his bloodlust. Behind him lay a path of destruction, to his side; the screeching of a thousand birds accompanied his charge.

_The leaf buffeted in a sudden updraft and rose another few feet, as if dancing in midair._

"SHINEE! NARUTO!" The Uchiha screeched over the sound of the Chidori, lunging forwards, palm outstretched. "CHIDORI!"

To his surprise though, Naruto lunged forwards as well, spinning so that he appeared to be flying at the Uchiha whilst upside down.

_The Leaf once again descended, like a pendulum now._

"Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu:" the blonde yelled out, "Ryukansen Tsumuji!"

The Uchiha could only stare as the blonde passed him again, shivering as what felt like the wind passed through him. Naruto landed, sword at his side and looking straight ahead with his slit-pupiled gaze. Sasuke stared ahead too, scowling, his sharingan spinning.

_The leaf descended further, only half a foot from the ground._

Abruptly there was a spray of blood, and Sasuke let out a howl as his right arm landed on the floor two feet from his body, before collapsing, clutching the bleeding stump.

"No matter how sharp the blade," Naruto muttered, sheathing his sword slowly as he spoke, "Nothing can cut the wind."

_The leaf split in two, the pieces falling gently on the ground at the base of the tree._

--

Well...that was...climactic wasn't it. I even surprised myself.

Anyone who can gues the symbolism behind the leaf gets a free one-shot with the setting of their choosing.

If you want Yaoi I'm open to consideration, but don't push your luck, the same goes for Yuri, not out of dislike but because if you have qualms with one you have to be fair and have qualms with the other.

Tsunade: Please, you probably whack off to that stuff all the time.

Kyugan: Not particularly, then again the only decent Yuri scene I've seen is this one. (Holds out what looks like a tankobon.)

Tsunade: Eh? (opens the book and flushes scarlet) WTF?! Is that supposed to be me?! And Shizune?!

Kyugan: Now calm down, if you must know Jiraiya sent me that, and I'm certain you don;t get up to that at all.

Tsunade: Why the hell am 'I' on the BOTTOM?! Are there any others like this?!

Kyugan: Not so far as 'I' know, (kicks a pile of Naruto/Tsunade doujins under the couch where no-one will notice.)

R&R!!PLZ!!THXBY!

* * *


	26. Chapter 26

Reviewers! Authors! Lend me your ears! The long awaited invasion of Konoha begins...NOW!

Shizune: Wait WHAT?! (Bursts out of the bedroom, bedsheet wrapped around her) Where's Genma? He has to know!

Kyugan: Already does (Points to door) He told me to let you sleep.

Shizune (Sighs in relief, only to blink as an arm wraps around her) Tsu-Tsunade-sama?

Tsunade (Drunk to the gills) Put me on th' bottom willya?

Shizune: Eh? Bottom? What are you-TSUNADE-SAMA?!

Kyugan: O-kay...shouldn't be watching this (Watches the scene before him, slight nosebleed) Ah hell, roll camera, I can always tape it.

Shizune: TSUNADE-SAMAAAAAAA!

* * *

Attack of the sound and sand; Sabaku no Gaara!

Looking over at the stricken Uchiha, Naruto scowled; disgust, and some other foreign emotion battling for control of the blonde's features. "Normally I'd have taken your left arm," he growled, "but I happened to remember you're my teammate, no matter how much I hate your guts right now."

Sasuke gasped for breath as the Tenfuuin receded, looking over his shoulder in rage and horror at the one who maimed him.

"You forgot Sasuke," the blonde continued, "it isn't power that is valued to become a Shinobi; it's skills, brains, and above all," the blue eyes narrowed, "TEAMWORK."

Naruto snorted as the Uchiha continued to look at him, as if not understanding his own language. "But then, you never DID understand that last concept." He muttered sadly. And with that the blonde walked of, waving over at a startled Genma. "Proctor," he called out calmly, "he's finished this time."

The look Naruto leveled at the jounin caused him to resemble the Sandaime in his weaker moments, when his old bones caused him to show his age. "Call the damn medics before I remember he tried to kill me back there." The blonde muttered, before stomping up to the fighter's booth.

--

Sasuke knelt on the ground, arm covering his bloody stump as he stared at the dirt, eyes wide, and gasping for breath. He didn't even bother resisting as the medics carried him out on a stretcher; he just continued to stare straight ahead, the image of Naruto's angry, almost disappointed gaze, burned into his retinas.

'WHY?!' he howled mentally, cursing up at the lights as they passed by, the medic's reassurances falling on deaf ears, the image of those blue eyes gazing down at him disappointedly following him even as the pain soared up his arm.

Never had that word carried so much weight for the Uchiha.

--

Kakashi stared in shock as the medics tended to the crippled Uchiha, and then moaned at the implications. "Konoha's medical corps is nowhere near ready to deal with that type of injury." He muttered, "Sasuke's going to be handicapped for a while…"

Kagero raised an eyebrow, "You mean you could re-attach it?" she queried, looking intrigued.

"In time," Gai replied with a nod, shivering slightly, "but the procedure is long and draining, one mistake and you could further damage the arm and Sasuke." He sighed remorsefully, "If only Tsunade-sama was here…"

Kagero raised an eyebrow, remembering the name from somewhere. "Tsunade?" she prodded.

"One of the sannin," Kurenai explained, "the Sandaime's female student, and the grand-daughter of the Shodai Hokage."

Kakashi nodded "She's the most talented medical ninja in the world," he added, "but she left Konoha some time ago for…difficult reasons."

Kagero nodded in understanding, and looked down as she watched Naruto re-enter the booth as the medics carried off Sasuke.

--

Domon winced as the blonde entered, looking like he'd just come from a funeral. "Normally I'd mention something about overkill," the giant muttered, "but that bastard was asking for it."

"Tell me about it," Recca snorted, "you see the damage he did just running down the wall?"

Naruto said nothing during the exchange, but sat with his back against the wall, bangs covering his eyes. Fuko, concerned for the blonde, kneeled next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey" she asked "you okay?"

For a moment, Naruto didn't reply, then it passed and he raised his head, smiling at the girl, though it was a hollow version of the smile he usually wore. "Yeah, I'm fine." He chirped, though it sounded forced, as he shot the retreating medics a parting look, unable to see Sasuke through the crowded bodies.

The former Team Hokage frowned, but didn't question the blonde's words, each having felt somewhat similar at the Urabatosatsujin. Then, to the blonde's shock, something rapped him on the head, causing him to grab it and look up in shock to espy the towering shape of Domon, an annoyed look on his massive face.

"Rest up," the giant teen grunted, arms folded across his chest, "you're fighting Fuko next after all." He glared at the blonde, flames looming behind as he somehow grew a pair of horns and a tail. "And if you try what you just did to Uchiha," he growled, cracking his knuckles menacingly, "I'll crush your balls."

Naruto rubbed his head where the giant had hit him; sweat dropping at the giant's unique way of cheering him up. In the background, Recca and Fuko sighed and shook their heads, laughing at what a big softy their giant friend was.

--

Sarutobi was scowling at the faux Kazekage as he looked at the venerable elder, trembling in excitement. "Shall we?" the imposter asked, his aids dashing from his side, one setting off an explosion.

--

Naruto's head shot up as he leapt out of the booth. "Somethings going on up there." He yelled, landing in the arena.

"No shit!" Domon yelled, gripping his Zanbato and leaping after his teammate. "Oi! Proctor!" he roared out, "What th' hell's going on?!"

Genma eyed the Konoha genin as they appeared in the arena with a calm expression.

"We received a report that the sound was planning an attack on Konoha," he admitted tensely, "but it would seem that our would-be allies in Suna have joined them."

Naruto snorted, "Using the exams to sneak in," he spat on the ground, eyeing the scuffles breaking out, "the snake's clever I'll give him that."

Genma smirked in reply, eyeing the wave of enemies that were entering the arena warily. Just then, a medic appeared next to him, causing him to look up in surprise. "Uchiha Sasuke has disappeared!" the man yelled, looking like he'd been hit over the head pretty hard, "He was last seen headed towards the woods!"

Naruto blinked then growled in irritation looking around the stadium in annoyance. 'That baka!' the blonde hissed, clutching the katana sheath tightly, 'I should have cut off his damn leg!'

Genma groaned as he launched a shuriken at an enemy, before blocking an incoming opponent with a kunai. "Hanabishi! Ishijima!" he called out, catching the pranksters' attention. "Alert Kakashi to the situation," he ordered, "he will give you your orders."

The senbon chewing chunin slit the enemy's throat, turning to face the other opponents warily. "Mikagami, Kirisawa," he called out, "you stay here and back me up." Eyeing the group of five he smirked, "You brats are already chunin material, this shouldn't be a problem."

The trio and Fuko grinned, before the former dashed off to alert Kakashi, whilst Mikagami and the latter prepared to put their Madogu to good use.

"Just the two of us, eh Toki?" Fuko teased, eying their opponents, a pair of sand and sound ninja respectively.

Tokiya snorted, holding Ensui at his side, at the ready. "Domon would not approve." The swordsman muttered, smiling snidely, emptying another three canteens at once.

Fuko grinned as she vivisected one of her opponents with her Kaze no Tsume. "I'm sure you're too much of a gentleman to try anything." She teased, flipping out of reach of the other.

Said gentleman used his Hyomon ken technique to turn his opponents into shards of frozen meat, scattered on the rising wind.

--

Kakashi had just killed two opponents and was attempting to formulate a plan when one tried to take him from the rear, only to slump over with several stiletto knives in his spine. "Arigato, Kagero-san." The jounin offered appreciatively, catching his breath as Gai took out three more with his fast paced Taijutsu techniques, Lee aiding him in his endeavor.

"No problem at all, Hatake-san." The immortal kunoichi replied, allowing another handful of knives to slip into her hands as she eyed the enemies carefully.

'This isn't good.' Kakashi muttered over the din, 'at this rate things are sure to get messy.'

As if on cue, three quarters of his team landed in front of him.

"Sensei!" Naruto yelled, hurling a shuriken at an enemy, catching the poor bastard in the eye, "Sasuke's gone off by himself!"

Kakashi winced, shaking his head at the Uchiha's stubbornness. "Just my luck," he muttered, turning back to his team, "how was he?"

Domon snorted, "He had his freaking arm lopped off, how do you think he'd be?" the giant muttered sarcastically, causing the jounin to sweatdrop.

"Can't be helped then," Kakashi muttered, "we have to get him back before his pride, or his wounds, get him killed."

Recca used his tekko to deflect a shuriken, hurling it back at the enemy with the ease of long practice. "Any bets on both?" he asked snidely, throwing a few explosives at the attacking sound shinobi and grinning as they detonated around groin level.

"Count me in." the other two muttered in tandem, causing the jounin's sweatdrop to grow.

"There won't be a need for that," Kakashi muttered cautiously, "because I have a mission for you."

"Lemme guess," Recca cut in, rolling his eyes, "it goes something like: 'Please go save the village's precious Uchiha from his own fat ego, so I don't get yelled at for letting him get killed', right?"

Kakashi winced, realizing that he'd lost a lot of respect with the trio in their month of absence. "Naruto, Recca, Domon" he assured them, "I didn't mean to hurt you guys…" Recca held up a hand, cutting off the Jounin in mid apology.

"Save it," the enjutsu-shi muttered, "we're over it, and we're stronger than the prick, even with you training him." he smirked, "We'll drag his ass back here, though we may have to break it first."

Domon deflected a kunai aimed at a slumbering civilian and grunted in agreement. "Uchiha may be a stuck up, arrogant prick…" The giant smirked over his shoulder, "but he's OUR stuck up, arrogant prick!"

--

Kakashi blinked, and then sighed; relieved his team was still intact. "Alright then," he muttered, looking up at them, "all you have to do is bring him back here, do nothing else." He flipped through a few hand seals and placed his palm on the back of an unconscious civilian.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

When the smoke cleared, a pug dog was sitting on the man's back.

"Eh? What's with the mutt?" Domon muttered, only to blink as the canine hopped onto Naruto's head and looked the giant in the eye.

"Hey buddy!" it growled out, "Don't call me a cute little doggy!"

The trio sweatdropped at the canine's choice of words, baffled. "He didn't say that…" Recca muttered, as Naruto plucked the thing off his head by the coat, getting into a glaring competition with it.

"I know you're hiding back there, Shikamaru." Kakashi muttered, causing the pineapple-headed genin to come out of his corner, muttering. "You and Lee can back them up," he added, eyeing his rival as he sent a man flying through the air, his footprint imbedded in the man's face. "That is, if you don't mind me borrowing your student, Gai?"

The Taijutsu master did his nice guy pose, even as he punched a sound Nin through the arena wall with all the pleasantness of a wrecking ball. "But of course!" he yelled, "Anything to encourage Lee's flames of youth!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

Domon separated the two by slamming his sword between them, causing them to ram their faces into the sides. "Save it." He muttered, making for the hole, "We gotta beat feet!"

Recca snickered behind the giant's back. "You sure you shoulda stopped them?" he teased, "They coulda forced the enemy to commit seppuku just by doing that."

"If I see them do that up close again, I'LL be committing frikking seppuku!" the Giant countered as he leapt out the hole after the pooch.

Naruto chuckled and patted Lee on the shoulder, "He's…not used to guy's showing affection in public."

'That's putting it mildly…' Recca muttered, as the four dashed out, not noticing another blur following them as the jounin turned to their attention to more important matters, namely the nasty people who were trying to kill them.

--

Uchiha Sasuke winced as he felt his arm twinge. The medics had covered the wound with a special seal that would ensure that infection didn't set in, without the wound healing over, since they DID plan on reattaching his limb at some point in time. But as a side effect, the wound was still raw, and the slightest breeze irritated the exposed flesh.

'That damn Naruto!' he hissed, 'Even with these eyes…and that power…' He growled as the Tenfuuin reacted to his rage, 'All the good this thing did…I didn't even see him move!'

In his mind's eye, he could still remember the look on the dobe's face, as he flew at him in that weird kenjutsu move, the Ryukansen Tsumuji. Those eyes had been filled with emotions he could not identify, but with a conviction he recognized all too well.

'Itachi' the avenger hissed, 'he has the same eyes as Itachi…' he noticed the damage to the surrounding plant life and smirked. 'Looks like I'm getting close. '

--

"We're being followed." Recca muttered, not looking back as he continued to advance behind Pakkun.

"Yeah," the canine confirmed, "one's really close, and there are at least eight…no nine catching up fast, following it." He frowned, "Odd…the closest one seems to use the same conditioner as me."

Domon growled and gripped his sword as he sensed the closest one coming within range of his senses. "Should we deal with that one?" he asked, "If it's a scout, they might stop following long enough to find out what happened to him."

Naruto sniffed the air slightly, fox senses on high alert, then sighed in exasperation. "Dammit," he cursed, "we so didn't need this…" He eyed his teammates and shook his head, "Forehead's following us."

The group, with the exception of Lee, moaned and shook their heads. The last thing they needed was a weak little nobody to baby-sit; they had enough on their plates as it was.

(I apologise to any sakura fans out there, if such things exist, I have never, and will never, like that violent harpy.)

Recca growled after a moment and shook his head, a stubborn look in his gaze. "She's a fellow Konoha genin though," he reminded them, "we gotta let her catch up."

"She'll slow us down," Pakkun admitted, but I doubt Sasuke's gotten too far," he nodded, "and she'll be safer with us."

Lee made a fist, "YOSH! I will single handedly protect Sakura-san with my life!" he swore, eyes bursting into flame. Everyone else blinked at the teen as he sang praises for the love of his life. 'This guy has the weirdest tastes.' They muttered, eerily in tandem.

The group dropped their speed a little, making sure to keep moving all the while. When the pink haired genin arrived in all her big-browed glory they hardly batted an eyelid. "Haruno," Naruto muttered, pointedly not looking at the kunoichi, "do you have any idea what the hell you're doing?"

"I'm here to save Sasuke-kun!" the girl exclaimed, shooting a glare at the blonde that he ignored.

Domon snorted, shaking his head in disbelief; "How?" he asked, not a hint of sarcasm in his tone, nope NO sarcasm at all. The girl twitched, not believing it for a second and looked ready to make a comment when she noticed the look in the giant's eye.

There were many things with eyes like that; they normally loomed over you from across a big oak desk, tapping their fingers, or from the depths of caves, letting out loud rumbling noises and gusts of sulfur.

"Uh…I don't know." she admitted, slumping slightly in defeat.

Shikamaru moaned, shaking his head at the girl's antics. 'Just great,' he complained, gazing heavenward in mid-leap, 'what did I do to deserve this?'

Naruto shook his head, exasperation on every line of his face. "Dammit Haruno," he muttered, "do you have any idea how badly you've jeopardized this mission?"

Sakura flinched, before glared at the blonde. "Urusei, Bakimono!" she spat venomously, reaching for her kunai holster as she spoke, "I'll never let you hurt Sasuke-kun again!"

The girl soon found herself on the receiving end of three massive walls of killing intent, causing her to almost miss her step.

"What did you say you ugly bitch?" Recca growled, eyes like flints as he hefted several gunpowder balls between his fingers.

Domon's visage matched his title perfectly as he glared over his shoulder at the girl. "You got some sort of death wish?" he asked, reaching for his sword hilt menacingly.

Before the startled girl could begin to stutter an apology, Lee leapt between the two genin, arms outstretched. "Please forgive Sakura-san!" he implored, "She doesn't know what she's saying!"

The two rivals contemplated ignoring their comrade, but eventually abated in favour of leaping forwards after Pakkun. The girl stuttered in terror as Naruto's slit pupiled gaze brushed her own for a moment as he dashed after them.

"Consider yourself lucky," the blonde growled, "if it weren't for Lee, I'd have cut off your arm to match the bastard's." He looked at his scared, bushy-browed friend and nodded. "I'll respect your wishes on this matter," he promised, "as a friend."

Lee blinked as the blonde dashed ahead of them, before lowering his head in gratitude. "Arigatou, Naruto-kun."

'Man…these guys are seriously scary.' Shikamaru thought with a shiver as he sped up to match the trio's pace, 'almost as bad as mom in the morning.'

Now this was a bit unfair to be true; there were many things decidedly more terrifying than Mrs. Nara first thing in the morning. But then they were supposed to look horrible all the time, and they most certainly didn't stand at the bottom of the stairs yelling at you to get out of bed just as you'd gotten to the best part of your guilty wet dream involving quite a lot of young women who liked nothing more than to gaze at the clouds whilst wearing nothing at all…

'Damn!' Shikamaru cursed, proceeding forwards in an odd, crouched run, 'Think cold! Cold dammit!'

Naruto noticed the lazy genin's odd gait and would have commented but Pakkun headed off in a different direction and he was forced to change direction to keep up.

--

Gaara hated running from a fight.

The reason he hated it was because 'Mother' would screech at him for failing to give 'her' blood, and right now the demented voice in his skull was hitting the higher decibels and was still going strong.

"Gaara…you recovered?" Kankurou asked cautiously, just in case he had to dodge a pile of sand.

Gaara merely growled, before smirking as the decibel count lowered somewhat, "We're being followed." He stated, as his siblings blinked in shock, before eyeing each other seriously.

"I'll slow 'em down." Kankurou muttered, casting a frown at his older sister. "Don't you say anything Temari, you're still low on chakra and no-one's seen me fight yet."

The middle sibling smirked, readying his puppet, "You help Gaara." He ordered, the blonde kunoichi scowled but nodded, watching as the older of her two younger siblings fell behind to wait for their opponent

--

Pakkun growled, "No good, those other guys are catching up," he muttered "the girl's slowed us down too much."

Sakura grumbled to herself but had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Great, so what do we do?" Recca muttered, eyeing the surroundings eagerly, "Torch the place?"

"Bad idea," Shikamaru cut in quickly, shivering at the mere thought, "it hasn't rained in weeks; the whole forest would go up."

Domon shivered, shooting a glare over his shoulder at his rival. "Don't you even think of it Hanabishi!" he warned, "I like my skin the way it is, not extra crispy!"

Recca grumbled, irked at not being able to summon his dragons, whilst Shikamaru let out a sigh of relief. "The way I see it," the Nara muttered, "we have an ambush or be ambushed situation going on." He held up a hand, lifting his index finger, "First off, we have to move silently and get to them first."

He held up another finger, "Then, concealing ourselves in a convenient location, we ambush them to deal the maximum amount of damage." The lazy genin sighed, shaking his head in annoyance, "But as Orochimaru's subordinates, these guys are no doubt familiar to the terrain."

Naruto eyed the genin, a glimmer of respect in his slit-pupiled gaze. "For a lazy bastard, you sure are well informed." He muttered with a smirk, earning a dismissive shrug from Shikamaru.

"Plugging my ears would take too much effort;" he replied, "anyway, these guys were no doubt assembled for this very mission, they'd have to be high level and well in tune with each other." He snorted, "Whilst all we have is a Gorilla…"

Domon twitched, a vein on his forehead pulsing as a sign of irritation.

"A pyromaniac…"

Recca flipped the lazy genin the bird.

"A walking fashion disaster that's just out of hospital."

Lee raised an eyebrow, looking around in innocent confusion.

"A loudmouth troublemaker…"

Naruto snorted but said nothing.

"A kunoichi with no useful skills."

Sakura glared death at the genin, who ignored her.

"A dog, and a coward."

Lee blinked, "A coward?" he wondered, "Where is he?"

Naruto snorted, shaking his head at his friend's naiveté. "He was referring to himself, Lee." The blonde muttered, smirking as the older genin flushed and Shikamaru nodded unashamedly.

"Tactics can win a battle where numbers would only slow us down," the lazy genin recited, "I recommend one person staying back to stall them while the rest catch up with that idiot Sasuke."

Sakura was about to yell at the genin when Naruto silenced her with a glare. "No comments from the tag-along." He muttered, causing her to huff and look away in defeat.

"Wouldn't two be better?" Recca asked, frowning at the thought of abandoning one of their comrades, earning a nod from Shikamaru.

"Normally, but think about it; Lee's just out of hospital, Sakura's useless, and I'm low on chakra." He looked at the trio analytically, "You three have the best teamwork out of all of us, and Pakkun's needed to track Sasuke."

"Still, I don't like it." Naruto muttered with a scowl "I say we split into two, then three stall them while the rest go on."

"Relax," Shikamaru snorted "I'm not gonna be killed so easy." he smirked wryly "And besides, the Kagemane was originally designed for use in delay tactics."

"They're catching up!" Pakkun growled, "And they don't smell friendly!"

The trio frowned in thought, before Recca grinned, "Alright," he agreed, "but if you die, don't you dare come back to haunt us!"

"Mendokuse," Shikamaru moaned with a smirk, "sounds like too much work."

And with that said, he fell back as the six dashed on.

--

The sound team were chasing after their prey when the leader noticed several branches were broken, as if a large group had just passed through.

'Heh…they're still amateurs…' he muttered, motioning to his team to step forward. 'I mean come on, misleading the enemy has to be the most basic of basics!'

--

Pakkun's eyes widened, "The enemy is still advancing!" he barked, looking over his shoulder in concern.

Sakura's eyes widened in realization, "He ran away!" she accused, glaring behind her in accusation, "The coward!"

BAM!

Lee yelped and caught the girl as she stumbled, nursing a bruised jawbone.

"Shut your mouth." Naruto growled, his fist slightly red from the blow he'd just landed in the Nara's defense, "Shikamaru isn't like you…he's no coward, no matter what he says."

"He's like a lazy version of Mikagami," Domon rationalized with a smirk, "if he says he'll do something, he'll do it."

"Besides," Recca added, grinning at the shiner on the girl's face, "the DEADWEIGHT has no right to be dissing others.'

--

Shikamaru suppressed a sneeze, and then grinned at the trapped sound shinobi as they mimicked his actions. "Kagemane a success." he muttered, eyeing the trees with a scowl. "You sure took your sweet time…Asuma-sensei."

Asuma chuckled, tossing down the sound nin he'd incapacitated in the trees, before turning to the eight being held in the Kagemane. "Evening all, don't suppose anyone's got an ashtray on them?" he gestured to the woods around him, "Wouldn't wanna start a fire here, the old man gets a little hot under the collar about the environment if you catch my drift." The chain-smoking jounin eyed the worried Oto-nins carefully, "No-one?" he asked "Too bad, too bad…"

He flicked the cigarette butt with the ease of long practice, earning a screech of pain as it lodged in one of the captive nin's eyes. "Guess I'll have to get nasty." The younger Sarutobi sighed, pulling out his trench knives, "I really hate wasting a good smoke."

--

Kankurou swore as he battled with the Aburame, the bastard had his damn bugs everywhere and they were trying their merry best to eat his chakra up by the maw-full.

'Little bastards,' he hissed, swatting some away from him, 'lets see how he handles this!'

He separated the head of Karasu and launched it at the genin, only for the secret weapon to fall to the forest floor below. "WHAT?!" the cat-suited genin choked as he finally noticed the bugs swarming all over him, "When did you?!"

"I dislike having to repeat myself." Shino muttered, panting heavily as a result of having inhaled some of the puppet's poison.

Kankurou blinked, and then remembered how the Aburame had tracked Sasuke to here. "Then…you…"

Shino nodded, "Yes…there's a female bug on you…I placed it there at the start of the scuffle."

Kankurou cursed as the bugs continued to devour his chakra, whilst Shino collapsed in a heap.

'The poison is setting in.' the Aburame realized, 'Gomen Sasuke…it appears I cannot back you up as I'd planned.'

--

Sasuke stared in horror as Gaara launched himself at the avenger, his transformed arm lashing out and actually dragging the demented sand genin towards his prey.

The raven-haired teen let out a curse; he'd used up his Chidori back at the stadium, and lacked the ability to perform it again. As such, he was limited to his Katon jutsu skills, which fortunately, he could perform one handed.

'Practicing after the wave mission came in handy.' He muttered as he launched a Goukakyuu at the monster, only to curse as he noticed it had no effect. 'Dammit!' he yelled, 'The Chidori…it's the only way!'

He felt the curse seal activate and channeled the lightning chakra down his arm just as Gaara lunged forwards again.

'This power,' Sasuke swore, 'it WILL allow me to win!'

Gaara screeched as his 'arm' was cut off, only for another sand limb to form, whilst the Uchiha collapsed, convulsing. "UOOH!!" the redhead howled as he lunged in for the kill, only to be sent flying as a massive fist rammed into his jaw, sending him rocketing backwards into a tree, passing out the other side and landing on a branch, reeling.

"God dammit…" Domon growled, fist still outstretched as he glared down at the shocked avenger, "why do we have to clean up your damn messes Uchiha?"

--

And it's team seven to the rescue! Will they prove a match for the sand's ultimate weapon? Or will their names be added to the memorial stone?

Tune in next time to find out.

Kyugan: right, no lets see what those two are up to.

(Pushes a switch that reveals a panic room, several monitors hooked and recording everything. Le types in a code and they focus in on one room in particular.)

Kyugan: No lets see...okay...where the hell did she get that nazi-dominatrix outfit? (winces) Or the riding crop? (Winces again) Man, someone has issues.

Shizune: Who's your master!

R&R!! PLZ!!

* * *


	27. Chapter 27

I own nothing but my love of all things manga...roll camera.

Note: No tanukis were harmed in the making of this chapter.

* * *

Suna no Shukaku; Toad, dragon and Fox!

Sasuke stared in shock at the massive back of his giant teammate. "Domon?" he muttered dumbly, hardly daring to believe it as the giant grunted and turned around, the others climbing out of the woodwork. "Recca?" the Uchiha wondered out loud, "Naruto?"

The duo didn't answer, just strode towards their injured teammate, their faces unusually serious. Temari cursed the luck, wincing from chakra exhaustion as she eyed the trio from the safety of a tree branch.

'The Uchiha's teammates?' she moaned, 'Great…just perfect.' She shivered at the sight of the blonde Jinchuuriki, recalling just what had been sealed inside him. 'If he snaps like Gaara did…' she shivered, imagining something on the scale of the apocalypse, 'god help us!' She winced as a bright light caught off something, blinding her, 'The hell?!' she raised an arm to her face, 'Is that a mirror?!'

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura wailed, leaping through the foliage amidst a burst of sunlight and harp strings, unaware of the light reflecting off her brow, "You're alive! I was so-!"

The girl's face turned to one of shock, the light and music fading amongst the sound of broken glass and snapping harp strings as the trio began to kick the living shit out of the object of her affections.

"God Dammit Uchiha!" Recca yelled, ramming his heel into the avenger's back, "You just have to be a showoff don't you?!"

"What the hell were ya thinking?" Domon growled, holding back incase he accidentally finished the job for Gaara, "You only got one freaking arm!"

"You wanna get yourself killed?" Naruto yelled, looking particularly livid as he stamped on the avengers skull.

The Uchiha was hard pressed to answer, as he was currently being treated like a football in an Eyeshield 21 sketch, viz. mercilessly.

"STOP KICKING SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura shrieked; whilst Lee stared on in shock, holding the kunoichi back in case she did something stupid, like trying to stop them herself.

'Whose side are they on?' Temari wondered, huddled in the background with tearstains covering her eyes.

--

Naruto sighed as they left the twitching form of Sasuke to smolder on the branch. "That was good," he said with a smile, "we worked off all our frustration there."

"Not quite," Domon grunted, glaring at the hole in the trunk he'd made when he punched Gaara, "saved some for the freak there."

Recca grinned, sending a cheeky salute towards the redhead. "Hey Gaara," he greeted, "guess we're enemies again."

The transformed Jinchuuriki snarled and eyed them with one teal eye and one golden eye with star pupils. Naruto shivered, recognizing the scent coming off the boy. "I thought I sensed something weird," he muttered, "you're a Jinchuuriki too."

Gaara's feral smirk widened as he licked his chops, saliva landing on the branch he was standing on. "Uzumaki…Naruto…"

The redhead began to laugh, low at first then breaking out into a full on cackle, causing Domon to shiver. "This guy's gone off the deep end with weights." he muttered, the other shinobi silently agreeing with the giant's deduction.

"Subarashi…subarashi!" Gaara cried out sinisterly, his eyes brimming with insanity. "A challenge unlike any other! Two genuine monsters!"

Naruto scowled and moved into a ready stance, eyeing the redhead warily. 'That sand looks thick,' he noted, 'too thick for a regular sword attack.' He narrowed his eyes, 'I may have to get serious.' He blinked as Domon spat, looking thoroughly annoyed.

"Oi! You ignoring us ya damn freak?" the giant called out, gripping Kubikiri Houcho's hilt and scowling, whilst Recca summoned Saiha.

Gaara snorted dismissively, "You'll all die," he predicted, "and my existence will remain!"

With that the sand demon lunged forwards, causing the trio to leap into the air, having expected a full frontal attack. However, they were caught off guard when Gaara shot out an arm, which targeted the prone Sasuke. 'SHIT!' the trio cursed, each trying to change direction in mid-air, only for a pink haired projectile to get between the freak and his target.

"SAKURA-SAN!" Lee yelled, dashing to help as the kunoichi was trapped against a tree trunk in constricting sand, as Gaara let off a sinister chuckle.

--

"What now?" the redhead asked, "I have your friend as a hostage, what are you going to do?"

Naruto smirked, meeting the insane genin's glare head on. "From the way you just said 'friend' you obviously don't think much of the topic." He shook his head, "And you're wrong, the forehead freak is not my friend."

"Naruto-kun!" Lee yelled, looking shocked at the blonde's harsh words, causing the blonde to look at him.

"It's the truth Gejimayu;" Naruto muttered, "since graduating from the academy, I've never thought of anyone as a friend except these two knuckle heads, Fuko, Tokiya and Yanagi-neechan." He smiled at the Taijutsu specialist; "You and I became friends in the exam, Hinata at the hospital, and maybe even Neji back at the stadium." He shot the prone form of Sasuke a silent look, before snorting, "And as for that lazy bastard Shikamaru?"

Domon smirked, shaking his head in bemusement, "As he'd put it, he's a pain in the ass, but he's honest."

"Then he'd go take a nap." Recca snickered, exchanging a high five with the giant.

Lee looked confused, and was about to move when Recca stopped him by raising his arm. "Lee, you stay there and make sure Uchiha and Haruno are alright." He grinned at the teen, giving him the thumbs up, "We'll take care of this."

Lee blinked, and then clenched his fist, eyes on fire. "YOSH! RECCA-SAN! I SHALL DEFEND THEM WITH THE FLAMES OF YOUTH!"

Domon shivered, eyeing the possibly insane genin warily. 'Then those flames better be like Setsuna's,' the giant muttered, 'or you're screwed six times over.'

Naruto eyed the redhead, a look of understanding on his face. "Gaara," he called out, in his most unthreatening, 'talking to homicidal maniacs' voice, "I can't even begin to imagine what you've suffered." He shivered briefly at the insane light in the redhead's eyes, "And I don't think I want to."

He pushed his blade out of its sheath slightly with his thumb. "But you and your people attacked Konoha," he muttered, "and as Shinobi of Konoha, it's our duty to protect it."

Recca smirked, standing alongside his Outoto with Saiha at the ready.

"So get ready!"

--

Jiraiya cackled as his toad landed on top of one of his former teammates scaled companions. "HAR! LOOK AT YOU SNAKES," the sennin bellowed, "FROZEN AT THE GLARE OF A TOAD!"

Ibiki shivered as the sannin went through his bizarre dance routine. 'Hard to believe this guy's the strongest of the three,' he muttered, 'let alone the fourth's teacher.'

Jiraiya, after completing his bizarre ritual, gazed up at the purple field where his sensei was fighting, a scowl on his weathered face.

'Dammit' he cursed, 'don't you die on me, old man.'

--

Gaara howled as he converted to his second stage, appearing more demonic, save for his legs, crossing his massive arms.

"Suna Shuriken!"

The trio leapt apart as the hail of sand blades tore into the tree they'd been standing in. (Guys!) Naruto signed, (Operation: hailstorm!)

The other two grinned and flashed him a sign of confirmation, before getting to work, Recca using shunshin to appear above the sand-genin and smirked.

"Nadare:" he called out, "DAN EN!"

Gaara winced as the fireballs rammed into his armored hide, keeping him pinned but not much else. "MUDA-DA!" he growled, swatting a few out of the way, "You'll never beat me like that!"

"Ryusosen!"

Abruptly the genin felt several blows hit him in various parts of the upper torso, causing the armor-like skin to crack. 'This speed!' he grunted, slapping the blonde away, only for him to disappear in a plume of smoke. 'Where's the lummox?' he muttered, looking around for Domon, just as the Giant genin's fist rammed into his stomach, sending the sand Jinchuuriki flying backwards, his armor completely gone where the blow had hit.

'How-?!' the redhead gasped, as a shadow descended from above, blocking out the sun as it descended like the wrath of heaven.

"Ryutsuisen!"

The sheer force of the blow sent Gaara hurtling towards the ground, crashing into it like a meteor and plowing on through the forest floor to form a trench.

--

Temari shivered as she watched her little brother's fight, eyes wide. 'Gaara,' she whispered, 'when we were little, we were told to stay away from you…even when you asked to play, we weren't allowed near you.' She clenched her arms, 'If…if I'd made more of an effort to be a sister to you…would you have turned out like this?'

She trembled and held herself, eyeing the prone form on the forest floor.

"Gaara…"

--

Naruto made a seal and stuck to the underside of a branch, looking down at his opponent. "Operation hailstorm a success!" he yelled, raising his fists above his head.

"YES!" Domon whooped, copying the blonde's actions "Our collective powers did it!"

"Whadd'ya mean 'our'?" Recca snorted, casting an annoyed glare towards his rival "I held him down with Nadare!"

Naruto smirked, pointing at himself superiorly, "I took him down!" he boasted, whilst Domon shook his fist at them.

"Well My Futae no Kiwami took him off guard AND smashed that damn shell ta bits!" the Giant boasted, sparks flying between him and the other two. The three got into a fistfight whilst the onlookers sweatdropped, questioning their sanity, not for the first time.

Lying in his ditch, forgotten for the moment, Gaara growled in pain and irritation as he gazed up at the leaves, and the echoing sounds of idiocy.

'These…morons…' he grit his fangs and attempted to sit up, 'How can they…be so strong?!'

The demon inside his head howled for blood, lots of it, and for the first time in many years, Gaara felt a sense of understanding with the raving Tanuki.

"Yes mother," he growled, the sand surging around him, "you will have your blood…"

--

Domon, attempting to gnaw his rival's leg off at the knee, noticed that the semi-transformed Jinchuuriki was getting to his feet. "Oi! Hanabishi!" he roared, "He's still movin'!"

Recca paused in his endeavors to devour his outoto's head and blinked. "Damn" he moaned, shaking his head, "what is he…the terminator?"

Naruto slipped out of the tangle of arms and flinched as he felt his hackles rise, never a good sign when you're a Hanyou. "Guy's," he warned, backing away slowly but deliberately, "I think we better take cover…"

"RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

There was a massive gust of wind as something shot up out of the woods, sending dust and splintered trunks flying everywhere. Team seven blocked as much as they could whilst dodging the larger specimens, whilst Lee guarded an unconscious Sasuke and Sakura as best he could.

Temari lay trembling hidden in a patch of leaves, knowing full well what had awoken. 'It…it's finally here!' she shivered, eyeing the monstrous shadow that loomed over them all, a bright yellow eye gazing down on them maliciously.

"What…" Lee stuttered, "What is that?!"

Pakkun stared in shock, unable to speak at the sight, whilst Team seven glared at it in apprehension.

'That thing's bigger than the friggin monument!' Domon swore, feeling incredibly put on, even as Recca eyed the monstrosity with a flinch

'Nadare Saiha and Homura won't do any good here,' The enjutsu-shi realized grimly 'I may have to bring out the big guns.'

Naruto clenched his teeth and glared at the figure before him. "So that's it," he muttered, "that's the beast you have inside you."

Temari shivered and found herself gazing in awe at the monstrous figure that until a few moments ago had been her little brother.

"Gaara's…true form!"

--

Domon and Recca flinched, before appearing next to their teammate via shunshin. "This doesn't look good." Recca muttered, "I don't like the idea of fighting this guy…we could end up leveling the forest."

Domon grunted, agreeing with his rival. "Our mission was to track down Uchiha," he muttered, before sending a glare at the massive form of the sand demon, "but I doubt that freak's gonna just let us turn tail and run."

Naruto nodded, "I can tell by the look in his damn eyes," he muttered, "he's planning something..."

As if reading the blonde's mind, the figure raised a monstrous hand and clenched it, causing the trio to swear as sand wrapped around their legs.

"SHIT! Recca cursed, "He left some sand behind!"

Domon attempted to use the Futae no Kiwami, but the sand held the three of them firm. "OW!" Recca cursed, shooting his rival an angry glare "Domon! Get your elbow out of my face!

"I can't freakin' move!" the giant retorted, struggling futilely. Naruto, gritting his teeth in concentration, bit his thumb.

"Hold on guys," he warned them, making the seals, "I'll get us outta this…"

--

"Sabaku Kyuu." Gaara's voice echoed, as if from the depths of a cavern, watching the sand constrict below. 'To think I had to resort to this form against them…' he smirked internally, 'Ah well, it's over now.'

"Sabaku Souso-!"

The giant behemoth blinked as his sand exploded outwards, followed by a large section of forest being leveled by the appearance of a giant, one-eyed toad wearing a coat and dagger at his waist, smoking a pipe.

'What in the?!' he cursed, eyes going wide.

--

"Kuchiyose no jutsu…" Naruto muttered, palm on the frog's head, "the ninja art of summoning."

Domon and Recca were staring at the massive amphibian in shock, before eyeing their teammate. "When'd ya learn to do this squirt?" Domon asked, amazed at the size of the toad he was sitting on, which could have kept France in haute cuisine for several centuries.

Naruto smirked, "From the Ero-Oyaji that taught my mom and the yondaime." He replied, gazing fondly up at the sky, where Jiraiya's face could be seen.

--

In Konoha, the densetzu-no sennin, Jiraiya of the Sannin, sneezed and almost fell off his toad. 'Someone's talking about me,' he muttered, eye narrowing in suspicion, 'it better not be Oro-teme and Sensei!'

He then proceeded to Gama Yuendan the shit out of one of his former teammate's summons, reducing it to so much smoked leather and snake oil as he ranted on about the 'ass kissing serpents' and 'rumor-mongering old farts'.

--

"**Oi!" **the boss toad called out,** "What're you lot doing on my head?!"**

Naruto winced and hopped down to the boss' nose. "Sorry about that Oyabun," he said calmingly, "but it was an emergency."

The amphibian snorted, placated at the sight of his latest subordinate, and eyed the other two as they joined their teammate. **"I take it these are the guys that you spoke of?"**

Naruto smirked and nodded, "The one with the tekko is my aniki, Recca." He explained pointing over his shoulder, "The big guy's my friend, Domon."

The giant amphibian snorted, clearly unimpressed. **"A shaved gorilla and a hot headed baboon?" **he mocked,** "You need better company kid."**

"WHO YOU CALLING A BABOON YOU OVERSIZED FRENCH DINNER?!" Recca roared, head growing to match those on the monument, Domon's along side it.

"YEAH!" the giant yelled, "YOU WANNA DIE?!"

The boss blinked once, twice then grinned at the blonde on his nose. **"Spunky…just like you kid…they pass." **He wrapped his tongue around them and placed them on his head, eyeing the figure before him.

**"Shukaku of the sands…if I remember right…"** he muttered, **"You damn blondes really know how to make a toad work…first the frigging Kyuubi, and now this?"**

Naruto growled and tapped his foot on the toad's head, as a reprimand. "Say what you like about the fourth," he muttered, "but please remember that the Kyuubi was my old man, okay?"

Gamabunta chortled, and reached for his sword. **"I'd thought to wait until we'd exchanged Sakazuki," **he muttered, **"but seeing as how I've grown fond of you, I'll lend you a hand."**

Wielding his dagger he glared at the sand demon.

"**Prepare yourself, hoodlum!"**

Naruto winced as he felt the toad boss's legs tighten as he prepared to lunge forwards, making a seal to channel chakra to his feet. "Brace yourselves!" he yelled over his shoulder. The other two scarcely managed to comply when the strength in the toad boss' massive legs sent them hurtling forwards.

"**Gamma Dosu Zan!"**

The massive form of Shukaku shook as the right arm was lopped off, though the blade flew from the toad's fingers as he continued to sail upwards.

'**What a guy,'** Gamabunta muttered, **'it took everything just to complete the stroke!' **The boss toad landed a good distance from his opponent and spun round to face him again.

"Oi!" Domon yelled, "There's wounded people across that way!" he pointed towards Lee's last known location.

"**Warkata," **Gamabunta grunted in understanding, **"I'll avoid it as best I can…"**

--

Lee stared in shock at the massive toad. "Sugoi," he gasped, "I thought only jounin were permitted to perform the Kuchiyose no jutsu!" He stared up at the blonde standing proudly atop the massive summon's head. "Naruto-kun…you truly are scary!"

Unbeknownst to the Taijutsu expert, a certain avenger was cursing as he raised his head to get a better view of the fight.

'Again' Sasuke growled, fingers digging into the tree bark, 'he's one upped me AGAIN!'

"You're fun!" Gaara's voice called out, ringing with madness, yet oddly mournful at the same time, "Tamashii-da! DOMON! RECCA!! NARUTO!!"

The redhead's upper body appeared on the demon's forehead, leering manically at the trio atop the toad. "Thank you all for keeping me entertained for so very long," he uttered, grinning all the while, "In return…allow me to show you the true power of the sand demon!"

--

"**The medium shows signs of insomnia,"** Gamabunta grunted, "**just look at those bags under his eyes, I could probably give him some competition there…"**

Recca frowned, "What's he going on about?" he asked, eyeing the psychotic redhead in trepidation.

"**Those possessed by the demon Shukaku, can never get a decent night's sleep,"** the boss-toad explained,** "and with good reason: they're too terrified!"**

The trio looked at their ally as he elaborated, shock growing on their faces.

"**Their personality will be devoured by Shukaku, bit by bit, until they're gone," **the toad narrowed his eye, **"but only if the vessel falls asleep."**

Domon shivered, "Man…it's like a nightmare that haunts you all the time." He muttered, causing Gamabunta to nod slightly.

"**However that's to our benefit; you see, Shukaku's powers are suppressed whenever the vessel is awake…but if he goes to sleep…!"**

Recca's eyes widened, "The demon would be released!"

"Tanuki Neiri no jutsu!" Gaara's voice called out, before his body drooped limply out of the creature's forehead, like a bizarre pimple. The trio and Gamabunta watched in shock as the massive form's eyes took on a different light, as he let out a squawking yell.

"**YEEEHAAAAAW! I'M FINALLY OUT!"** He spun his demented gaze over to the toad boss and yipped again. **"HIYAHOOOO! HERE'S SOMONE I WANNA KILL RIGHT OFF THE BAT!"**

Shukaku lifted his left arm and inhaled, causing his stomach to expand. "**We're gonna jump!"** Gamabunta warned, before leaping straight up into the air, earning a startled squawk from Domon.

**"FUUTON: RENKUUDAN!"**

The massive ball of air and chakra blasted through he woods where the toad had just occupied.

**"Suiton: Suitaiho!"** Gamabunta launched two massive cannonballs of water onto the beast, only for Shukaku to counter with five Renkuudan blasts.

"Oi! There's one left!" Domon yelled out, only for Gamabunta to swear as the blast rammed into his stomach.

"**YEAH!"** the massive tanuki screeched, eyes smiling, **"I KILLED HIM! I KILLED HIM!"**

As if mocking the beast, Gamabunta lunged out of the smoke, swearing like a sailor on his fourth round. **"That hurt dammit!"** he roared, **"You pumped so much damn chakra into that freaking sphere!"**

--

Naruto grit his teeth as the fight drew on, knowing that summons didn't have a habit of sticking round for long. 'This isn't good,' he mumbled, 'Gamabunta can't take much more punishment like that…'

"**Gaki!"** the boss yelled, **"I'm gonna need a distraction, then you and I are gonna grab that thing and wake up the medium!"**

Naruto blinked, "What kinda distraction?" he asked, looking confused.

**"The big kind!"**

Recca and Domon looked at each other, and then grinned sadistically, the flame wielder raising his right hand. Naruto blinked, knowing exactly what was coming. "Oyabun," he warned, "brace yourself!"

Recca went through the hand gestures and grinned.

"Ryu no en; nanashiki: KOKU!"

Everyone blinked in shock as the massive one-eyed dragon appeared in a burst of flames, hovering over the massive toad's back.

"Koku…" the enjutsu-shi muttered, "Aim a little to the left, then fire."

"**But of course."** The ancient Karyuu muttered, a sphere forming in front of his maw.

"One distraction coming up!" Naruto yelled as Domon braced himself, hands over his head, rear sticking humorously in the air.

"Koku:" Recca yelled out, pointing at Shukaku's left arm, "HADOU EN!"

Gamabunta almost wet himself as the laser beam launched from the dragon's mouth and ripped off the demon's remaining arm, as well as a good chunk of torso, not to mention leveling a good portion of the forest in its wake.

--

Lee's eyes resembled saucers as he fell on his butt, a damp spot staining his crotch. "Su-Sugoi" he muttered, trembling from the shockwave, "Such raw power…" He looked up at the enjutsu-shi, "Hanabishi-san…you're even scarier!"

Sasuke grit his teeth in rage, Lee having unwittingly sheltered him from the worst effects of the shockwave, and by proxy, from getting a good view of the Karyuu.

'Where did they get such power!' the avenger demanded, 'Why did they receive it! I need it more than they do!'

--

Naruto grinned as he braced himself, "Ready Oyabun?" he asked, ready to leap into the fray, only for Domon to slap a hand on his shoulder, causing him to blink and turn round.

"I got this one squirt;" the giant muttered, bracing himself, "you just get ready to knock the crap outta that freak when we get there."

Naruto smirked and abated, as the giant stood up and made a hand seal.

"**Remember!"** Gamabunta roared, **"Claws and fangs!"**

Domon frowned for a moment, before smirking, his own fangs glinting as his pupils disappeared. "Try topping this Hanabishi!" the giant genin roared as Gamabunta charged, "Combi-henge no jutsu!"

There was a massive plume of smoke, and when it cleared, the various onlookers were stupefied.

Launching out of the smoke, howling with rage and bloodlust was a massive fox, larger than the Hokage monument; it's fur redder than spilled blood and raging flames, eyes locked murderously on the startled form of the crippled sand demon. Nine massive tails waved behind it like serpents as it sank its powerful jaws into the startled Tanuki's hide.

"Domon…" Recca's voice called out, struck with awe, before grinning up at his rival. "You're a freaking genius!" he yelled under the illusion, causing the giant's grin to widen.

--

And there we have it! the battle between sand and leaf, taken to the next level!

Will Sasuke get the pwer he craves? Will Gaara verify his existence? And will Lee find a fresh pair of pants?

Find out next time on the next installment!

Kyugan: there, now back to pron...what the?! (Glares at monitor, Tsunade and Shizune are gone) Damnation WESKER!

(Alber wesker steps out of the shadows, dressed in the outfit from Code Veronica X) Yes?

Kyugan: Bring those two back here right now! i'm authorizing use of the T-003's!

Wesker: As you wish (Snaps fingers, Mr. X clomps out, decked out in green trench-coat) We will not fail...but if they're in the sewers...

Kyugan: Ah crap...Nemy's down there isn't he?

In sewers...

Tsunade: Jeez, what the hell is this thing? i keep hitting it and it just getsd back up!

Shizune: Tsunade-sama! Watch out for the tentacle thing!

Nemesis: P.R.O.N.Z...

R&R or be attacked by Hunters!!


	28. Chapter 28

Hello all you happy peoples.

Letme just come right out and say: guns of the patriots kicks ass.

Best. End. Of A Series. EVER.

God bless Hideo Kojim Sensei, he even managed to make a slowly dying snake look so Goddamn badass. That's one old geezer who's pills you wont be messing with.

That said, on wirth the show.

* * *

Defeat of Gaara; Jiraiya's quest Defeat of Gaara; Jiraiya's quest

"**AGH! NO! NOT YOU!"** Shukaku shrieked as he tried to escape, cursing the loss of his forelimbs as his most hated adversary took a huge bite out of him. The 'Kyuubi' merely grinned as it tightened its grip, sinking bloody fangs deeper into the sand demon's hide.

"I can't hold this forever squirt!" Domon grunted as he fought to maintain his control over the illusion, "Get up there and smack him a good one!"

Naruto nodded and, using the giant's head as an impromptu springboard, launched himself forwards just as the illusion ended. "WAKE THE FUCK UP!" the blonde roared, ramming his fist as hard as he could into the redhead's jaw.

The illusion broke and Gamabunta smirked, watching as the Tanuki started to tremble. '**Perfect, in this condition, it'll be easier for us to fight him.' **The toad boss rationalized.

Gaara stirred, causing Shukaku to shake his head in fury. **"CHIKUSHO!" **he howled, **"I JUST GOT OUT HERE DAMMIT!"**

But Shukaku's howls were in vain, the light went out of his eyes and he returned to his confinement in the ravaged sections of Gaara's subconscious. However, the massive form of the demon was still pressing forwards, as if on autopilot.

'**Dammit!' **Gamabunta swore, as he strained to push the walking sand mountain backwards,** 'Even unconscious this bastard's tough!'**

Gaara's eyes snapped open angrily, the redhead glaring down at Naruto before sending a wave of sand at the genin.

"DAN EN!"

Nadare's fireballs rammed into the sand and caused it to disperse, drawing the redhead's attention to Recca, atop a striving Gamabunta.

"No one's wrapping up my Outoto like a mummy!" Recca yelled, smirking at the look o fury that crossed Gaara's features, "And unless you want me to summon Koku-Oyaji again, I suggest you behave!"

"Yeah," Domon smirked, "take your beating like a man!"

--

'Dammit,' Naruto muttered, frowning in concentration, 'Gaara and I are probably at the ends of our respective ropes,' the frown deepened, 'but the fact remains that I can't just knock him out, or Shukaku'll probably sneak out again.' He gripped his sword, his resolve settled, 'Brain-stem trauma it is then.'

The blonde Jinchuuriki dashed towards his one-tailed counterpart, eye's blazing.

"Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu:"

Gaara tried to block with the sand, only to blink as his opponent spiraled towards him, seemingly upside down.

"Ryukansen Tsumuji!"

Gaara had little time to react as the back of the blonde's katana struck him on the back of his head with the finality of a sledgehammer, sending the redhead tumbling out of the beast's head, and collapsing on a tree branch. Naruto landed and eyed the stricken teen, sheathing his sword. "Get up," he muttered, "I know you're still awake."

Gaara clambered to his feet, holding the back of his head, where blood flowed.

"We're both down to the last stage here," the blonde muttered, "what say we finish this?"

Gaara glared at the blonde's words and commanded the sand to form around him, though it refused to make a definite shape.

'This next attack's gonna be tricky,' Naruto muttered, eyeing his opponent warily, 'but it'll be worth it if it finishes this.'

--

Naruto lunged forwards, ready to finish the fight with his last move, whilst Gaara grit his teeth. 'This guy,' the redhead muttered, 'why is he so strong?' He clenched his fist, glaring at the loosely joined sand. 'I don't have enough strength to control the sand beyond a set range anymore,' he muttered, eyes narrowing, 'but if I can trap his sword…'

Naruto howled and drew his sword, aiming for Gaara's neck. Gaara replied by bringing his sand up and wrapping it around the blonde's blade, dragging it to the side as he raised his right arm, a kunai held in his hand.

"SHINEE!!"

CRACK!

Time seemed to freeze for the sand genin, before his entire right side erupted into pain, as his arm bent dangerously, his ribs cracking.

'A second strike…with the sheath?!' Gaara sputtered, not believing what he was seeing,'

"Soryusen." Naruto muttered in Gaara's ear, "A battojutsu of the Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu." He lowered the sheath from the redhead's side and returned it to his belt, sheathing his sword as the sand slowly slid off it. Gaara slumped forwards, crying out as he landed on the blonde's chest.

'He'll kill me!' the redhead thought in a panic, once again the scared little boy from his past, 'I have to run away! I have to run away! I have to-!'

"Relax," Naruto called out, startling him, "it's over."

Gaara blinked as he found himself being gently lowered to rest on the tree branch. "I broke your right arm there," the blonde explained, pulling a splint out of his pouch "and I bet a few ribs went with that last one."

Gaara eyed the blonde in confusion as he held out a broken branch. "Bite on this," Naruto ordered, "I need to set your arm."

As if in a daze, Gaara found himself obeying the blonde's orders, his jaws clenching together as the bone was set in place, teeth digging deep into the wood. 'Naze?' he thought as the blonde wrapped the limb and prepared a sling, 'Why is he helping me?'

"You've got that 'Why's he helping me' look on your face." Naruto commented, smirking at the redhead's shock. "I don't really know," he admitted, "but I can understand how you feel more than anyone else."

He gripped his navel, and smiled sadly at the prone redhead. "The Kyuubi no youko," he explained, "The demon sealed inside me…is my own father."

Gaara's eyes bulged in shock as the blonde continued.

"I thought I was all alone in the world…and now I find out my father was the 'monster' that the fourth sealed in me," he snorted humorlessly, "ironic eh?"

The blonde smiled up at the impassive face of Gamabunta and his teammates. "But they stood by me," he muttered, "Even when I doubted myself." He looked at the redhead and then grinned behind him, "And you two feel the same about Gaara…don't you?"

Gaara blinked at the blonde's statement, feebly turning to look to his right, revealing an exhausted Kankurou and Temari, who were torn between attacking the blonde and retrieving their brother.

"Temari," he croaked out, "Kankurou…"

--

Temari hefted her fan and eyed them carefully, before wincing in fear as Naruto stood up. Her look changed to one of shock, as Naruto helped her brother to stand, and walked towards them, an arm over his shoulder.

"Take him home and see to his wounds." the blonde muttered cheerfully, "If you head straight towards the sand and don't stop till you pass the border, you should avoid whatever patrols that remain."

Kankurou stared at the blonde, before accepting his little brother from him. "Who…are you?" he asked, staring apprehensively at the Jinchuuriki.

Naruto grinned at the middle sand sibling, "Hanabishi Naruto, future Hokage of Konoha." He smirked, giving the trio the 'nice guy pose' "Stay in my good books and you'll have the whole of Konoha as your allies!"

The two sand ninjas sweatdropped; and considered attacking the blonde until Gaara's voice called out. "Enough…" the redhead muttered, exhausted, "Let's just go home."

Kankurou eyed Temari, who nodded, and the trio disappeared with a dashing noise, leaving a smiling Naruto in their wake.

--

Gaara replayed the events of the day through his mind, reviewing his fight with Naruto with particular detail. 'He fought for his friends,' the redhead muttered, 'his village…his family…'

He scowled at the bitter memories of his father, his hatred of the man making bile rise in his throat, before blinking as something popped into his mind.

--

_A four-year-old Gaara trudged through the halls of the Kazekage home, looking lost and alone. He bumped into someone who was about to yell at him to be more careful, before he saw who the child was and ran away screaming._

'_Everyone's scared of me…' the redhead sniffed, 'Why only me?'_

_Abruptly, he spotted a boy standing not too far away, a look of determination in his eyes._

_Gaara blinked as the brunette strode forward and thrust his arm out, dangling a teddy bear in front of him._

"_Take it." The older boy muttered, arm outstretched and eyeing the wisps of sand with avid attention. Gaara blinked as he reached out and took the toy, only to blink again as the boy turned and ran._

--

'That boy…was Kankurou…' Gaara realized, looking at his older brother as he was carried through the woods. He winced as another headache started, tumbling him down yet another memory.

--

_Chibi-Gaara sat huddled in a corner of the playground, crying. He'd almost fallen asleep when a scary voice had started shrieking, scaring him back to full consciousness; when the boy opened his eyes however, the room was torn apart and there was a dead body in the corner._

_There had been several people in the doorway, but no one was coming to help him._

"_The demon killed another one." Someone had muttered._

"_He's too unstable." Another agreed, eyeing the redhead with concern._

_Gaara sniffled and rocked back and forward in his corner, terrified and alone. Abruptly, a pair of trembling arms wrapped around him and held him, causing him to blink in surprise._

_Looking up revealed a girl at least six years old, looking terrified but holding him nonetheless, lightly humming something under her breath, despite the tremor in her voice._

_Gaara merely sat there, before returning the hug and letting the girl rock him back and forth, her pigtails rustling in the wind._

--

'Temari,' the redhead breathed, staring at his older sister's back, 'even when I was little...even though she was scared…'

Gaara trembled as an image of the two children stood before his younger self, their older forms vaguely apparent behind them.

'They…both of them…tried to reach out in their own way…' he realized in shock, 'While I…I…'

Kankurou twitched as he felt something slide down his neck. 'Is Gaara bleeding?' he thought, concern for his sibling making him slow slightly, before a soft sound reached his ears. 'Masaka…' the older genin muttered in disbelief, 'Gaara's…crying?'

"Oi…you okay Gaara?" he asked, looking back slightly, causing Temari to turn her head, concern for her brother in her eyes.

Gaara tried to mumble something but his voice cracked, forcing him to take a breath to continue. "I'm sorry," he gasped out, gripping his brother's shoulders tightly, "I'm so sorry…"

The older sand siblings blinked in shock, before staring at each other in wonder. "It…it's nothing." Kankurou muttered, speeding up towards the border.

Gaara closed his eyes, allowing himself to be carried by his brother, finally acknowledging the older boy's position as such.

'I'll start anew,' he vowed, 'I'll make amends…' He smiled softly, which his siblings failed to pick up, too focused on the job at hand to realize their family was at last back together.

--

The triumphant Sasuke retrieval team waved goodbye to Gamabunta as he disappeared in a massive plume of smoke, back to his days of fornication with his numerous brides. "I'm gonna miss that toad." Domon muttered; Sasuke slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"The summoning only lasts so long anyway." Naruto muttered, almost annoyed, before grinning up at he giant. "By the way," he added, "nice idea with the fox transformation there."

"Ya think we should do it again?" Recca asked, a little TOO innocently, "Maybe…in the middle of the village?"

The trio snickered evilly, seeming to sprout horns on their heads. "Hokage Oyaji would probably have a heart attack!" Naruto cackled, earning a round of agreeing cackles from his partners in crime

Lee and Sasuke shivered, the former standing as far away form the emanating aura of evil the trio was giving off as he could.

'Kowaii," they thought, 'Seriously Kowaii…'

--

Domon grunted, dashing through the trees as they made their way back to Konoha. "Man…I hope that lazy bastards all right…" he muttered, Sasuke slung over his shoulder, whilst Lee carried his beloved Sakura bridal style.

Recca snorted, shaking his head at the giant's concern. "Dieing would be too troublesome for him." He mocked, pulling off a decent replica of Shikamaru's features.

The trio shared a laugh at the genin's expense, whilst Sasuke raged silently.

'This was supposed to be MY victory!' he yelled mentally, 'But they shoved me aside like I wasn't even there!' He growled in his throat, glaring at the laughing blonde as his arm twinged.

"Hey, how much to you think Sarutobi-Oyaji's gonna pay us for this mission?" Recca asked, "Cause there's this kunai set I want to look into."

"Knowing old man Hokage? Naruto replied with a grin, He'll have us rolling in dough when we get there!"

--

Kagero shook her head as she stood up from her position next to the Hokage's side. "There's no sign of life," she reported sadly, "Sandaime-sama is dead."

The collective Jounin winced before lowering their heads reverently. A few cried out, either in anger or remorse, probably both. Jiraiya, his fists clenched tighter than steel, strode forward unopposed through the crowd, scooping up his sensei's corpse in his arms.

'To think you would feel so light…' he muttered, noting the seal on the man's chest, the look of blissful calm on his weathered face. 'You once carried me on your back to the hospital.' The sennin thought, looking grim, 'Now I'm doing the same for you…though I doubt you'll ever open your eyes again.'

Slowly, as if each footstep carried the weight of the world with it, the sennin walked through the ranks of assembled shinobi, his sensei's body in his arms, making for the hospital. He stood at his full height, his head held high, as if daring the surrounding shinobi to claim he shed a tear.

Inside his heart of hearts however, a small, white-haired genin was crying his eyes out, his sensei's name tearing from his lips in mourning.

How Jiraiya envied that little boy.

"Alert the council." Ibiki called out to the ANBU, a little more stiffly than he would normally, "We must have funeral services arranged for the dead."

Kagero, sighing sadly, reached out and patted a trembling crow masked ANBU on the shoulder as he apparently refused to move. "Go now," she assured him, "Sandaime-sama would have asked the same of you."

The man stood for a moment, as if gathering his resolve. Nodding his thanks after a moment, he turned and left with his team, heading for the council office.

--

_Two day's later._

The rain fell heavily, drenching all those who had assembled to mourn those who had fallen. Though the children and civilians cried their sorrows, not a single tear fell from the assembled Shinobi populace. In a way, the falling rain substituted for their sadness, and made the loss that much greater.

Naruto, Domon and Recca stood side by side as they stared silently at the Hokage's picture, dressed in identical black clothes for mourning. To his left, Naruto spotted Konohamaru; the poor boy was crying his eyes out as Iruka knelt beside him, attempting to comfort the distraught Sarutobi.

"Seems like only yesterday he'd invited us to join the village." Domon muttered, not taking his eyes of the photo, the raindrops sliding down the shaved sides of his head.

"Hard to believe it," Recca agreed glumly, "we only knew him for about a year or so…but he grew on us."

Tokiya said nothing, his face solemn, whilst Yanagi sobbed lightly, Fuko's hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort the poor girl.

Naruto sighed and looked up at the monument, where the Hokage's likeness seemed to gaze down upon them through the falling rain. Staring at the younger carving of the man in the photo, the blonde couldn't help but feel the statue was crying too, as he gazed down at his people.

"Wipe your eyes, Konohamaru." The teen said, causing the boy to look up at him in confusion. "You have to be strong now," The blonde explained, grinning softly at the child before pointing at the monument, "Or you'll make your grandfather sad."

Konohamaru stared at the blonde, eyes wide with wonder as he followed his gaze to the face carved into the monument. After a few moments however, the boy's face set and he wiped his eyes, standing strong despite his trembling jaw.

Naruto held out his hand and the sandaime's grandson took it gratefully, the blonde's teammate's carefully placing a hand on their little friend's head and shoulders, even Sasuke, his arm still missing, offered the boy the barest of nods. Neither of them said a word, but took comfort in each other's presence.

In years to come, the team would look back upon this moment, and each swore they felt no less a man for comforting the boy that day.

--

_Two weeks later…_

After the funerals had concluded, and the village managed to get itself back under control, things began picking up again for the citizens of Konoha.

Currently, team seven, or rather three quarters of it, were munching away at Ichiraku ramen, the three pranksters trying to outlast each other once again in a battle of the bellies.

Ayame giggled as she watched them slurp up the bowls, Domon was in the lead with thirty-nine, Naruto in second with thirty-eight, with Recca trailing on his thirty-fifth.

"MORE PLEASE!" they called out, holding out their bowls.

"Yare-yare…" Teuchi called out, "You three must've finished one hell of a mission."

"Nah…just regular genin crap," Domon snrted with a scowl, "that baka Neko escaped again, and we chased it all the way into the Inuzuka kennels."

Ayame winced as she noticed the bite and claw marks the teens were sporting.

"Here you go!" Teuchi called out, shoving another round their way, smiling as he watched them go at it. If there was one thing you could rely on, no matter what else changed in the village, it was that the prankster trio would always try to best each other; be it in technique, achievements, or who could stuff more ramen down his gullet without suffocating.

Domon had stubbornly managed to hold onto the title of 'Ramen-King' for a week now, but Naruto was catching up, the blonde's voracious appetite seeming to rival the giant's own personal bottomless pit.

"So the rumours were true," a voice chuckled behind them, "you three really do eat your own weight in ramen here everyday."

Naruto choked on his noodles and had to be slapped on the back by Recca, as he spun round to stare behind them. "Wha-ERO SENNIN?!"

Jiraiya twitched at the title, but let it slide for now, pulling up a stool beside his newest disciple. "Such predictable little genin," he mocked, winking at a startled Ayame, "You need a little change in your diet."

Domon eyed the man cautiously, in case he was an escapee from the local insane asylum. "Naruto," he mumbled, mouth full of noodles as he pointed with his chopsticks, "who the heck's this guy?"

"WOAH!" Jiraiya yelled, flipping his hair back, "GOOD QUESTION!"

Still standing on the stool, the sennin went through his bizarre dance routine again, causing Ayame to squeak and duck behind the counter to avoid his mane of white hair.

"Behold! Known also as the Gama-sennin! Known throughout the North South East and West! The legendary Toad hermit of the Sannin! The man who's Handsomeness can silence a crying child!" He rotated his head slightly and grinned, palm held out in front of him as several sticks tapped together in the background. "Jiraiya-sama!"

The three genin stared at the man, dumbstruck, before Domon returned to slurping up his noodles, non-plussed. "Oh," Recca muttered disinterestedly, "you're the Ero-sennin Naruto told us about."

Jiraiya fell off the stool headfirst, crashing into the ground, his leg twitching erratically. 'Kid's these days, he grumbled, ignoring Ayame's concern for his health, 'no respect for greatness.'

--

After picking up the shards of his dignity, the sennin waited for them to finish before asking Naruto to talk to him while they walked, blocking out Domon's roars of victory.

"Huh?" the blonde muttered, blinking in surprise, "A special mission?"

Jiraiya nodded, "The council asked me to do them a little favor, since I'm heading in that general direction anyway." He smirked, nudging the blonde with his elbow, "We could stop by the red-light district on the way" he added suggestively, waggling his eyebrows, "you'd learn more there than what Kakashi could teach you."

'I'll bet.' Recca thought wryly, ignoring the red tinge covering Domon's cheeks as they listened in, the two walking just behind the sennin and Naruto to give them some space.

"I dunno…" Naruto muttered, "Seems like a lot of effort, just to track down one girl…"

Jiraiya leaned in and grinned, "She's quite the looker you know." He added, as if that sealed the deal.

"Like you'd go looking for some old hag, Ero-sennin," Naruto snorted, waving a hand dismissively, "you'd claim it was a waste of time and go looking for the nearest peephole."

Jiraiya didn't bother to deny that in the slightest, secretly wishing he was doing that very thing right now, but decided to up the ante all the same. "Still," he muttered, "Kuchiyose no jutsu was just one of my many techniques." He shrugged, looking disappointed, "but if you're not interested, I can ask Sasuke to come instead…"

"We'll be there." Recca growled, the other two nodding on confirmation.

Jiraiya blinked, having forgotten the other two had followed them. "You two?" he stated, "I was only asking Naruto."

"S'matter Ero-sennin," Domon taunted, flexing a muscle, "don't think we're up to it?"

Jiraiya twitched, feeling his blood-pressure rise at the title. "Hmmph, the great Jiraiya-sama's techniques are reserved for a very select few!" he muttered, swelling up like a balloon, before grinning lecherously. "But if you can provide me with some well developed…fruit" he giggled creepily, "I may change my mind."

Domon blinked, confused as hell by the sennin's odd ways. "We gotta go grocery shopping?" he asked, causing Jiraiya to facefault.

Naruto moaned and slapped his forehead exasperatedly. "He wants us to grab a few girls to ogle at." The blonde muttered, smirking at the embarrassed flush that covered Domon's face.

The trio blinked suddenly, looking at each other, and then grinned in a way that made Jiraiya very nervous.

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Jiraiya blinked as the three genin suddenly became thirty, not liking the looks of this in the slightest.

"HENGE!"

Jiraiya waved the smoke out of his eyes, only for them to bulge out of his skull at the sight that awaited them.

"Jiraiya-samaaaaa…." Several female voices crooned, as they latched onto the pervert's limbs, rubbing against him suggestively. "Take us with youuuuuuu!"

--

On many an occasion in Konoha's past, a white haired youth graced the skies of Konoha in a splendid aerial flight courtesy of being found peeping by his female teammate.

Many years had past since those glorious days, but once again, Jiraiya's figure soared over Konoha, this time under his own power, in a manner of speaking.

--

"Dang!" Naru-chan muttered, shading her eyes to watch the pervert's trajectory, "I think he just might clear the monument!" She winced as Jiraiya slammed into the third's face, sliding down the hokage's effigy with humorous slowness, only to fall he remaining stories to the ground.

"Ah well." Domo-chan muttered, before blinking at her rival as she stared at her, "Nani?"

Recca-chan reached out a hand and grabbed her Rival's…Erm…assets. "Man! What have you been feeding those things!" she asked, eyes wide. Her only reply was to be sent flying skywards, courtesy of Air-Domo-chan.

--

After Jiraiya's recovery, and the subsequent perverted rambling, the sennin openly praised the trio on their creativeness, though they found it quite hard to keep from laughing at the sight of the wads of paper stuffed up his nostrils.

He told them to meet him by the gates in less than an hour, before staggering off to the hospital to try and replace some of the blood he lost. The trio hurried home at top speed, packing their things faster than you could say 'ramen'.

"Another training trip?" Kagero asked, looking in to check on them, only to find them denuding their room yet again.

"Sorta." Naruto offered offhandedly as he continued to pack, "We're being hired out for a mission to retrieve some girl for the council."

"The way Ero-sennin kept going on about her," Domon grunted "she has to be somebody big around here."

"Ero…sennin?" Kagero repeated, blinking confusedly as she tried to come to grips with the words as Recca grinned.

"That's what Naruto calls him," he assured his mother, "I think the old fart calls himself Jiraiya or something."

Kagero blinked, and then chuckled slightly, remembering the man's antics during the battle. 'He's like a younger version of Koku.' She thought, leaving the boy's to get ready, before flinching, 'WHY doesn't that reassure me any?'

--

Kakashi panted as he rested on Asuma's shoulder, Kurenai on the man's right and Gai standing before them guarding against the two missing nins that had been discovered.

"We did not come here to start a war." Itachi stated, "Regrettably, this is nothing more than a farce." He nodded to his partner calmly "Kisame, let's leave."

"With all this trouble," the shark-man growled, running his fish-like eyes over the assembled jounin, "it's unavoidable I guess."

The two glared at the Konoha welcoming committee, before using shunshin to disappear in a blur of movement.

Kakashi gasped as he finally slipped into unconsciousness. 'Naruto…' he muttered, concern for his student even in his weakest moments.

"Shit!" Asuma yelled, catching the weakened jounin as he slumped, "Gai! Kakashi's fading fast!"

"YOSH!" the beast yelled, "MY ETERNAL RIVAL! I SHALL ENSURE YOU DO NOT FALL HERE!"

--

And so we have the first relatively serious moment of this fic. Don't expect another for some time.

That said, keep them reviews coming (A wall crashes in) The hell?!

Liquid Ocelot: you! The last damn patriot!

Kyugan: (Fires a rocket launcher at Ocelot) Get your damn eyes checked Ass-Tard!

Ocelot: (survivng because he's an ass like that) Eh? Oh, it's you. (looks around) Sorry about the wall.

Kyugan: No big (Points at zombie laborers) Clean up this mess.

Zombies: Fiiiiiiiiix

R&R or be killed by Fox-Die!

* * *


	29. Chapter 29

I don't care how many peole try to kill me, NOTHING change my opinion that MGS4 is the greatest game currently available, and ever available on the market.

I can oly hope I become half as good as Kojima sensei with plot-twists.

That said, the journey begins, and sorry to those that asked Yanagi to be included, but I've something else palnned for the others.

* * *

Enter the Akatsuki; the shark and the weasel!

"Sayonara, Kaa-san!" Two voices called out, The Hanabishi brothers and Domon waving over their shoulders at Kagero and Reiran as they left. Recca was rubbing his cheek, blushing at the feeling Yanagi's kiss had left there as a good luck charm. Domon was doing the same, but from where Fuko had slapped him for trying to get a kiss from her.

'At least she told me to come back safe.' The giant thought glumly, not having seen the look of concern in her eyes as he left.

Naruto was about to console the giant when he spotted someone in the bushes, someone with a VERY familiar blue haircut. "Hinata?" he wondered, blinking as the girl squeaked and tried to hide deeper into the shrubbery. "What are you doing in the hedges?" he asked, stepping closer to them in confusion.

"A-ano…" the shy girl stepped out, looking mortified, her fingers twitching, "n-no reason…"

Recca and Domon smirked at each other and began to whistle off key, walking off towards the end of the garden, the two somehow sporting curled moustaches. "What a beautiful day, wouldn't you say Mr. Ishijima?" Recca asked in an Oxford English voice, hands held behind his back.

"Indeed Mr. Hanabishi, indeed." Domon replied, curling his moustache "The sun is shining, the birds are singing…"

Naruto stared at his teammates, completely ignorant of what they were implying. Unfortunately, or fortunately if you consider things carefully, Hinata's skull wasn't as dense as her beloved's, and she was redder than a tomato as a result of the indirect teasing. "You okay Hinata?" the blonde asked, touching her forehead, "You look a little warm there."

Hinata almost died as she felt his palm touch her forehead, but valiantly stood her ground. "Ano…I heard you were going on another training trip," she stuttered, "I wanted to see you before you left…this time…"

Naruto blinked as she fidgeted, trying to avoid looking him in the eyes. "That's nice of you, Hinata." He said, smiling, "I really appreciate it."

"Ano…" The Hyuuga heiress blushed and smiled shyly "how long are you going to be away this time?"

"We're tracking down some girl for the elders," Naruto replied with a shrug "could be a few weeks, maybe a few months." The girl sagged, looking depressed, which Naruto didn't miss. "Hey, cheer up." He said, putting a hand under chin and smiling at her startled look. "Tell ya what, I'll bring you back something, 'kay?"

Hinata nodded dumbly, then flushed, looking away. "A-arigatou…Naruto-kun…"

Naruto smiled at the girl, before blinking in confusion. "Hey Hinata…did you grow your hair out?" he asked.

She blinked, caught off guard by the sudden question. "Um…I was still in hospital for a while," she stammered, "and missions have been picking up so I haven't had time too get it cut…"

"Y'know," the blonde cut in, touching his chin thoughtfully, "it looks cute when you let it grow out."

Hinata's heart stopped at those words.

"I mean it," the blonde continued, "really cute! You should wear your hair long more often." He grinned, "You'll have to beat 'em off with a stick in a few years!"

The Hyuuga girl stared in shock as her idol, however unwittingly, proceeded to compliment her without knowing he was.

"Say," Naruto suddenly asked snapping his fingers in thought, "When I get back, do you wanna come with me to Ichiraku's to celebrate?" Hinata stuttered and looked ready to pass out, before squeaking out a barely intelligible affirmative. "GREAT!" Naruto replied, giving her a hug before dashing after his teammates, "See ya when I get back!"

As the blonde turned to dash after his friends, he didn't notice the form of Hyuuga Hinata, passed out on the floor, a look of pure contentment on her face. Inside the shy Hyuuga's mind, she was reveling in her success at having attained Nirvana through happiness.

Kagero sighed from her position in the shadows, before scooping the heiress into her arms and heading towards the house, calling Reiran to fetch the smelling salts.

--

Recca and Domon's grins were confusing Naruto to no end, and he would have asked them what was so damn funny if Jiraiya hadn't shown up, looking worried. "Well, come on boy's!" he yelped, dashing past them, "Time's a wasting!"

The trio blinked, wondering what had lit a fire beneath the old fart, before they heard the telltale signs of running feet, heralding a veritable stampeded of angry women hurtling towards their position.

"Those three are with the pervert!" one yelled, wielding a frying pan like it was some sort of siege weapon.

"STRING 'EM UP!" Half the mob demanded. "CHOP THEIR BALLS OFF!" the other half cried.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Naruto yelled, dashing off, Domon and Recca shrieking like little schoolgirls and following the blonde, the trio having spotted a familiar purple haired Kunoichi right at the very front of the pack.

It took three hours to lose the mob of women, another two to finally ditch Anko, and a good ten minutes on top of that to finally track down Jiraiya, who was peeping at an onsen like nothing had happened.

Needless to say, there was much kicking and punching in the sennin's immediate future after that.

--

"You didn't need to kick me THAT hard!" Jiraiya muttered, cracking his spine back into place with a grunt.

"Fourteen snakes!" Domon roared, most definitely put out, "FOURTEEN! And ten of them were freaking cobras!"

"What were the other ones?" Jiraiya asked inquisitively, looking interested despite himself.

"Anacondas." Recca muttered, shivering at the feel they'd left on his skin before he could shunshin away. Naruto was wiping his sword, grimacing as the snake blood came off it stubbornly.

Jiraiya had the decency to look abashed, but not enough to apologize. "Anyway," he muttered, shouldering his pack, "let's get going shall we?" The trio grumbled and fell into step alongside the man who smirked.

'How nostalgic is this?' he muttered, 'A three man cell all over again…haven't had one since the good old days with Arashi, Noriko and Suzuka.' He closed his eyes in glee, remembering how he'd pass the blame for his perverted deeds over to his loyal student, watching in sympathy as his two female students pummeled the poor sap into the ground. 'Good times.'

"Oi…Ero-sennin." Naruto called out lazily, after they had been on the road for some time, "Who's this lady we're going to pick up?"

Letting the Ero-sennin bit slide, Jiraiya grinned, "I'll tell you when we get to the next town." He promised.

Domon muttered darkly as he tried to get the feeling of snake slime out of his thoughts, blushing slightly at the view he'd gotten when the sadistic kunoichi had flipped over them to attack from above. 'She's kinda like an older version of Fuko-chan.' the giant mumbled, and then shivered in horror at the thought of the two meeting up.

--

At the first town they arrived at, a good half-day's walk from Konoha, the trio found themselves in front of an inn, surrounded on all sides by bars, brothels and casinos.

'Weird place.' Naruto thought, though Recca and Domon briefly wondered if this was what Vegas was like.

"Oi! Brats!" Jiraiya called out, pointing over his shoulder, "We're staying here!" The trio nodded and shouldered their packs, just as something caught the sennin's gaze, causing them to look round.

A rather beautiful young woman brushed a lock of hair out of her face and eyed them, her dress showing off a figure to die for. All four males reacted in similar fashion, wide mouthed grins and slight drooling, eyes blank.

'What a looker!' Recca thought, flushing scarlet.

'I hope Fuko grows up to look like that!' Domon begged, steam coming out of his ears and nose with a whistling sound.

'Homina-homina!' Naruto squawked, doing a decent imitation of Hinata as the woman winked at them coyly.

'My pulse has sped up!' Jiraiya mentally squealed, before shaking his head rapidly to clear it "Naruto! Domon! Recca!" he called out, voice full of enough authority to make a mountain stand to attention. As the trio turned to face him though, he grabbed the blonde's hands and placed the key there, trembling with excitement. "Here's the room key," he said, pointing up the steps, "go on up and refine your chakra exercises."

The trio blinked and sweatdropped as the letch skipped off with the girl in toe. 'Goddamn sleazy bastard.' They thought together, squelching any thoughts of jealousy at the sight of the old letch's antics.

--

Sasuke dashed through the forest, a look of fury across his features. 'He's here' he hissed, teeth bared in a feral snarl, 'and he's after Naruto…'

The avenger growled as he dashed forwards, the stump of his right arm trembling at the mention of the blonde's name, some buried emotion propelling him forwards as he tried to get to the blonde teen before HE did.

'Itachi!'

--

Recca and Domon had decided to go off and explore, whilst Naruto stayed at the hotel and meditated. "Mom's teacher's a perv." He muttered, sitting in his mindscape, playing shogi with his father.

"I'm a fox demon Naruto," Kyuubi replied with a snort, "the stuff he writes is no more than a children's book to me."

Naruto raised an eyebrow and moved a piece, "Really?" he wondered, eyeing the fox in disbelief.

Kyuubi smirked, moving another piece across the board with a superior air. "Who's family do you think wrote the Karma Sutra?" he bragged, before frowning, "Come to think of it, you human's seemed to have lost most of it…there should be ten times more content…if what father said was true…"

Naruto sweatdropped, "Dad…I really don't need to hear about your," he shivered, "Youthful escapades."

The Youko snorted and moved another piece, "Regardless of his perversity, Jiraiya isn't known as the strongest of the Sanin for nothing." He frowned at the blonde before him, "And don't forget, his tutelage DID allow that blonde baboon to become Hokage."

Naruto frowned and placed a particular piece a little more violently than was necessary, causing the board to jump slightly. He looked up suddenly as he felt his ears twitch, sighing resignedly. "Someone's knocking at the door," he muttered, "I gotta go check." He stood up and smirked, "I know the pattern on the board dad, don't try anything."

Kyuubi huffed as his son faded away, looking affronted. "Like I REALLY need to cheat to beat him." The demon muttered, palming the other stones in his sleeve.

--

Naruto grumbled as he sat up, listening to the knocking on the door. "Alright!" he yelled, "Keep your pants on, sheesh!" He opened the door and glared upwards, "Dammit! I thought I told you we didn't want room...service…"

The blonde blinked at the sight of the man gazing down at him with a pair of spinning sharingan, his leaf Hitai-ate split by a horizontal slash. 'Sasuke?' he wondered briefly, before frowning as he took in the man's appearance, 'No, the face is different…plus Sasuke didn't have those weird wrinkles.'

"Hey," a gruff voice called out, "is this kid really the Kyuubi?"

Naruto flinched, and then gawked at the massive, shark faced man that stood behind the obvious Uchiha.

"Naruto-kun." The smaller man muttered, catching the blonde's attention "We would like you to come with us." He stepped back slightly to clear the doorway, "Come out of the room." He ordered, tone low and authoritative.

Naruto shivered slightly, taking in the situation carefully. 'This guy,' he muttered, eyeing the leaf-nin, 'if he's an Uchiha then he's got to be at least jounin level.' He winced slightly, 'And he already caught me with his eyes, so I can't take any risks.'

Slowly, as if testing the waters, Naruto entered the hallway, left hand gripping his katana sheath tightly, as he kept his eyes on the Uchiha's feet as he'd practiced.

"Itachi-san, we're behind schedule." The shark man drawled in an accent that sounded similar to Zabuza's, reaching for handle of the bandaged weapon on his back. "We don't need him running off on us," he added, "should I chop off a leg?"

Naruto flinched and moved into a ready stance as he eyed the man, flicking his gaze to the Uchiha's hands and feet. For a while, the man called Itachi said nothing, before lifting his head, staring straight ahead.

"It's been a while…Sasuke."

Naruto blinked at the man's words, looked behind the duo and cursed at the sight of the one-armed avenger.

"Yare-yare," The shark man muttered, "this is the second time today I've seen another Sharingan." He nodded his head slightly towards his partner, "And he seems so familiar with you…who is he?"

"Uchiha Sasuke." The older Uchiha replied calmly, pausing for a few moments, as if for effect "My Outoto."

Naruto shook with surprise at the man's words; before letting his eyes run over the two brothers carefully. 'Freaky,' he mumbled, blinking at a sudden memory from the not so distant past.

'Wait, I thought Sasuke's whole clan was wiped out…' He paused suddenly, before frowning as the pieces finally fell into place. 'I get it, betrayal from within.' He eyed the older Uchiha cautiously, 'So this is the guy that Sasuke wants to kill.'

--

"I've been waiting to say this to you…" Sasuke muttered, glaring at his brother's exposed back, fingers clenched "I've lived hating you," he growled, "my sole purpose in life is to kill you…" Electrical energy gathered in the avenger's palm as he finished his one handed seals. "I'VE LIVED FOR THIS!"

Itachi turned round to stare impassively at his younger brother, face devoid of emotion. "…Chidori?" he noted, recognizing Kakashi's technique. "Not bad," he admitted, "but you are still handicapped."

"UOOOOOOO!!"

Sasuke lunged forwards, tearing up the walls as he passed, charging right at the older Uchiha. Itachi was about to intervene when something shot past him and nailed the charging avenger right between the eyes, sending him sprawling backwards, the Chidori dying down. 'A katana?' the Elder Uchiha thought, puzzled, as the weapon landed on the floor, blade first and sticking upwards.

Kisame blinked and turned to the blonde, who was pointing his now empty sheathe at the one armed teen. "Hiryusen." Naruto muttered, lowering the sheath and holding it as he would a drawn sword.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Sasuke yelled lividly, sitting up using his only arm as a prop, "He's my opponent! Don't interfere!"

"Urusei, Bakayaro!" Naruto yelled in reply, not impressed in the least by the Uchiha's machismo. "You've only got one frigging arm!" he pointed out, "You can't get more handicapped than that in a fight!" He pointed at an intrigued Itachi, careful not to meet his eyes. "And even if, and that's a big IF mind you," he pointed out, glaring at his teammate, "you DID manage to kill this guy, the Chidori would have put you in the perfect position for 'Jaws' here to rip your swollen head off!"

Sasuke swore, but saw the logic in the blonde's statement. Climbing to his feet stubbornly, the Avenger glared murderously at his brother, trying to make him combust due to sheer willpower.

--

'The boy is smart.' Itachi noted, running a casual eye over the Jinchuuriki, before turning, to the side, almost lazily, to avoid a kunai to the chest courtesy of his 'foolish' little brother. 'Still too temperamental for your own good.' He muttered internally, turning to face the charging teen.

"DIE ITACHI!" the younger Uchiha roared, lunging forwards, a kunai clenched in his fist. The older Uchiha's expression didn't change as he spun round to face his brother, grabbing the teen's wrist with remarkable ease.

"You're in the way." Itachi muttered coldly, just before Sasuke's shrieks filled the hallway as his wrist was snapped in two.

Naruto growled and moved to help his teammate before the shark-man blocked the way, grinning toothily at the blonde. "Uh-uh," Kisame chastised, "lets let the brothers speak for a while."

Naruto growled again, watching helplessly as Itachi sent Sasuke flying with a kick to the ribs. Sasuke got to his feet, yelling with rage despite the blood flowing down the side of his mouth.

"COME ON!"

Itachi complied by ramming his knee into the teen's midriff, causing him to double over gasping, before landing a blow to the neck with his elbow, which was swiftly followed by a knee to the chin.

'Just what the hell have I been doing up till now?!' Sasuke howled internally, as his brother's fist rammed into his abused midriff, causing him to collapse in a heap at the traitor's feet.

Itachi grabbed his brother by the neck and slammed him into the wall; face as emotionless as when Naruto first saw him. "You're weak." he muttered emotionlessly, causing the teen to look at him, "Why are you so weak?"

Sasuke spat out a mouthful of blood, ready to reply, only to blink as his world abruptly changed, the colours an inverted black and white.

"For the next 24 hours," his brother's voice echoed, "you will relive that day."

--

Naruto winced as Sasuke's tortured screams shattered the air, eyeing the two men carefully, 'Genjutsu?' he wondered, 'Has to be, he doesn't seem to be using his other hand…'

"Itachi-san," Kisame called out, "I recommend you don't use those eyes of yours too often today…" he trailed off as Naruto lunged past him, making for his sword. The missing-nin smirked, looking decidedly gleeful at the brat's action. "No choice now!" he yelled, hefting his bandaged weapon eagerly, "Gotta chop off a leg!"

The shark man swung the Samehada down, only to be blocked by a very familiar blade in mid-swing.

'What the-Kubikiri Houcho?!'

Kisame stared in shock at the blade, before growling at the large teen holding it.

"Oi, squirt" Domon grunted, blocking the shark man's weapon with his own, "who're the freaks?"

Naruto grinned as he pulled his sword out of the floor, "Dunno about Jabber-jaw there, but the bad-ass who's torturing Sasuke is the idiot's older brother."

Domon grunted and tightened his grip on the blade, eyeing the mist Nin cautiously. 'This guy's strong,' he muttered 'WAY stronger than Zabuza was by far.'

"Kisama…" Kisame growled, baring his teeth menacingly at the teen, "Where did you get that sword?"

Domon blinked at the anger in the missing-nin's eyes, before smirking. "What's it to ya fish face?" he mocked.

Kisame snarled and used his strength to push the blades down, before attempting to swipe at the giant, only to be blocked again. 'Kid's good,' he conceded, eyeing the giant appraisingly, 'using one hand to hold the blade, bracing it with another.' He smirked, displaying all of his shark-like teeth, 'And no-one's managed to block a blow from me like that.'

"Domon!" Naruto called out, as he prepared to help Sasuke, "Where's Recca Aniki?"

Before the giant could reply, a hail of fireballs launched themselves at Itachi from the left corridor, causing him to drop his brother on the floor and wheel round to face the newest threat.

"You called?" Recca asked, Nadare's fireballs floating over his open palm, the faint image of the Karyuu hovering behind him.

Itachi frowned, intrigued by the floating flames. 'My sharingan can't seem to copy his technique' he muttered, eyebrow rising in interest, 'a new Kekkei Genkai?'

"DAN EN!"

The older Uchiha leapt further away, deflecting the fireballs that managed to come close by utilizing a rapidly performed Housenka, only to scowl as he heard the telltale signs of one of Jiraiya's noisy entrances.

--

"I, Jiraiya-sama, the epitome of manliness, cannot be tricked by the feminine wiles of women!" the sennin hefted the girl from earlier over his shoulder, as if to prove his point, smirking as he copped a feel in the process. "I need only flash that sexiness to cause women to fall at my feet!"

The assorted ninja stared at the man like he was an idiot, which he most likely was if you took all things into account. "This coming from the letch that scampered after her like a dog in heat?" Recca muttered, looking annoyed.

"Or like a horny baboon?" Domon added, a deadpan expression on his face as Naruto covered his eyes and shook his head exasperatedly.

"Quit trying to look cool, Ero-sennin." the blonde muttered, causing Itachi to raise an eyebrow and Kisame to let off a snort of amusement.

Jiraiya twitched and set the girl down gently, pointedly ignoring his charges. "Using the sharingan to cast a genjutsu on the woman," he muttered, "not very manly of you Itachi." The sennin stood up to his full height and glared at the in-expressive Uchiha. "So I was right," he deduced, "you WERE after Naruto."

The trio flinched and eyed the two missing-nins; ready to tussle if need be, only for them to blink in shock as Itachi sighed. "No wonder Kakashi was so well informed." the Uchiha rationalized calmly, "YOU were the source of information."

The trio flinched, 'Kakashi-sensei? Did he fight these guys?' they thought in tandem, fear for their perverted sensei filling their heads as Itachi nodded solemnly.

"To abduct Naruto," he relayed, "those were the orders given to us by the higher echelons of our organization; Akatsuki."

The trio flinched again, before scowling at the missing Nins closest to them. "You aren't getting Naruto." Domon growled as he continued to block Kisame, getting right into the amused mist nin's face.

Recca growled and summoned more fireballs, eyeing Itachi like a pissed off salamander. "Anyone that tries lays a finger on my Outoto," he growled, "better be prepared to pull back a blackened stump where their arm used to be!"

--

Itachi eyed the assembled genin warily for a moment before shaking his head with a sigh. "Kisame," he called out "we may have to retreat." He turned his gaze to his partner, "The conditions are unfavorable."

Kisame growled, before disappearing and reappearing next to his partner. "Dammit," the shark-man cursed, "I hate to run."

"You're not going anywhere!" Jiraiya yelled out, slamming through a series of seals, before placing his hands on the floor of the hallway. To the genins' shock, the walls of the inn took on a flesh like appearance, actually dripping with saliva and corrosive liquids, causing Domon to yelp as some landed on his head, evaporating a strand of hair.

"Ninpou: Gamaguchi Shibari." The sennin called out, hands placed on the 'floor' as he smirked at the Akatsuki members. "Too bad, Itachi…Kisame…you're already inside my stomach!" As the collective Nins stared in shock, the sennin decided to elaborate. "I summoned the esophagus of an Iwagama from the toad mountain inn," he bragged, eyes shining with presumed victory, "prepare to be digested!"

"ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!" Recca shrieked, eyes widening at the sennin's words as he spazzed out.

"I'M TOO YOUNG AND HANDSOME TO BE DIGESTED!" Domon yelled, arms flailing about like limp spaghetti.

"I CAN'T BECOME A HOKAGE IF I'M TOAD TURD!" Naruto cried, looking decidedly panicked.

The older shinobi sweatdropped, wondering where the hell the somber mood had gone. "BAKAYAROS! CALM DOWN!" Jiraiya bellowed over the noise, smirking as they complied. "Stay still," he assured them, "it's my jutsu, and only I can decided what it can digest!"

Itachi scowled and made to run, "Come, Kisame!"

The shark man growled, shooting a dirty look at Domon before following, yanking his sword out of the fleshy material.

"No-one can escape from me here!" Jiraiya called out, willing the walls to extend after the pair, only to blink in shock and dash round the corner.

"What's up?" the Naruto called out, dashing to catch up alongside Recca and Domon, blinking in surprise at what he saw.

The Duo had vanished, a massive hole in the wall, surrounded by black flames, was the only sign of their passing.

--

Itachi panted as he ran, sweat dripping down his face from exhaustion. "That sword," the elder Uchiha brother commented, "was it not your apprentice's?" he asked, earning a nod from his partner.

"I last heard he was planning to retake Kirigakure through another coup." Kisame muttered, putting those thoughts to the back of his head. "Still," he asked, eyeing the Uchiha prodigy, "are you sure we should've retreated?"

Itachi nodded, looking more exhausted by the minute. "Naruto-kun can wait," he allotted, "but after using Tsukuyomi…followed by Amaterasu…" The Uchiha's sharingan slowly deactivated, revealing tired onyx eyes. "I need to rest…"

--

Jiraiya gazed at the scroll that he'd used to seal the black flames, frowning deeply in thought. 'He burned through the Iwagama's stomach using this,' he muttered, 'I better analyze this later.' The bear of a sennin tapped his sandal into the 'floor' and the flesh receded as if it had never existed, revealing the limp form of Sasuke.

"Man, he don't look so good." Domon muttered, waving a hand in front of the avenger's unresponsive face."

Jiraiya was about to make a snide comment about the giant's own appearance when he sensed movement behind him. He deftly stepped to the side, avoiding a Kunai that imbedded itself in the wall, staring at it in bewilderment before whirling around in surprise.

"What the-?!" Recca called out, just as something collided with Jiraiya's face with the force of a meteor, sending the sennin sprawling backwards.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" a vision in green yelled, before blinking, Maito Gai coming into focus as his oversized eyebrows quirked in confusion, "Eh? Jiraiya-sama? What are you doing down there?"

Jiraiya just couldn't seem to muster the effort to throttle the man and so settled for lying in a smoking, twitching heap on the floor.

--

After Gai profusely apologized for the twentieth time for kicking Jiraiya in the face, much to the trio's amusement, he got serious. "Kakashi is in the same state," the jounin admitted, eyeing the prone form of Sasuke seriously "he's lying unresponsive in bed, despite having the sharingan to counter the jutsu."

Recca flinched, shaking his head in disbelief at the situation. "Man…are all the Uchiha fucked up in the head?" he wondered aloud, looking up at the jounin for confirmation. Gai didn't know how to respond, so he opted to change the subject, sighing as he gazed wistfully at the sky.

"If only SHE were still in Konoha…" the taijutsu specialist muttered "She could heal our stricken comrades with a mere touch!"

"That's why these brats are with me," Jiraiya boasted, smirking at the shocked jounin with a superior look, which completely failed to impress since the imprint of the Gai's sole was still plastered across his face, "We're going to bring her back!"

--

In a city far away, a blonde haired woman sneezed, before entering her hotel room, carrying a briefcase full of money, which she opened on the bed.

"HIIII!!" her attendant yelled, holding an arm before her as if to ward off the sight of the money, "I-Impossible! T-That money?!"

"We're borrowing it!" the blonde woman announced, a smirk on her face, as she thrust her arms out wide, "Yeah! I bear the sign for 'Kake' on my back! I am Tsunade-Hime!" She grinned confidently at her dubious assistant as she patted the green haori on her back confidently. "With this, we can overturn any defeat!"

--

And so the first encounter with the Akatsuki is concluded, it'll be three years before we see them again so keep your pants on.

Also, those wondering whether or not the team will have problems getting Tsunade to come back, do you even have to ask?

Kyugan: Right, obligatory rant concluded, time for some mindless violence.

(Snaps fingers, Kakashi is suspended from the ceiling like a pinata, arms tied behind his head.)

Kakashi:...(Comatose)...

Kyugan: As you know, Kaka-baka has been getting some downtime recently due to the exam and subsequent invasion. (Holds up a beam katana) That ends today, Nemy? would you do the honours?

Nemesis: Caaaandyyyy...

Kakashi:...(Still comatose, whimpering noise)...

R&R, or no candy!

* * *


	30. Chapter 30

The gang finally get on Tsunade's trail, with Gai tacking Sasuke back to konoha.

Let me just come right out and say thank you for all the reviews.

Now call off the hitmen. I have Metal Gear Rex and I know how to use it!

* * *

The legendary sucker; Travelers teachings!

Gai, carrying Sasuke piggyback style, bowed to Jiraiya reverently. "Jiraiya-sama," the green beast begged, "please bring back Tsunade-sama to us!"

Naruto smirked, rubbing his nose beside the sennin. "You just worry about Okama-chan there." He muttered, smirking at the jounin.

"Yeah!" Domon grinned, flexing a muscle; "We'll drag her back to Konoha by her hair if we have to!"

Recca grinned and wiped his chin with his thumb, "You just make sure Kakashi-sensei doesn't become a vegetable." He stated, "Though he'd probably be more useful if he did."

Gai smiled at the trio for a moment, reaching into his flak jacket. "You three have guts," he praised, "I like that in kids, so I have something for you." The trio stared at him as his grin deepened, "This is the secret of Lee's strength!"

All three genin leaned in close, eyes wide with wonder as he whipped out…!

Three green body suits.

"The ultimate, form-fitting green bodysuit!" Gai called out, "Wear it while training and you'll know the difference! The adorable Lee wears it 24/7 and look how strong he's gotten!"

The trio shivered, staring at the fashion disasters with trepidation. "Ano…Gai-sensei," Naruto thought tactfully, "We appreciate the offer…but Green doesn't look good on us."

"Yeah," Domon agreed with an eager nod, wanting nothing to do with the god-awful things brandished before him "My mom said wearing green makes me look like a pea-pod."

Gai blinked, looking a little let down. "Oh," he muttered, "I see…" The trio were silently patting themselves on the back when he reached into his pouch again. "In that case! I have here three of my old ANBU version suits!"

He waved three black versions of the suit at them, causing them to sweatdrop. 'It's better than green.' They thought, taking them from the man and blinking at how soft the material was.

Jiraiya was shivering with suppressed rage as he drilled holes into the back of Gai's skull, fervently wishing there was a laser vision jutsu. 'If you can lug around those god-awful things why not just carry a damn mirror?!' he muttered, remembering the feeling of Gai's imprint on his beautiful face.

Of course no one really gave a rat's ass about what the sennin had to say, and so the trio waved the hyperactive jounin on his way as he carried the unconscious form of Sasuke back to the village.

"OI!" An irate voice yelled out, causing the trio to look round to spot an irate looking man stamping towards them, "Who the hell blasted a hole in my inn wall?!"

The trio looked up to spot Itachi and Kisame's impromptu exit point, before looking back to the irate landlord.

"Well?!" he demanded, "Who do you thinks gonna pay for this!?"

Recca sweatdropped, turning to the side to look for Jiraiya, "Hey, Ero-sennin," he began, "what should we…"

The trio blinked at the distinct Jiraiya shaped hole in the air, before the sound of the man's rapidly retreating sandals died down.

"…Do…" Recca finished lamely, before turning to his teammates, the three looking as one at the irate landlord.

--

The trio spent a good part of the day running from the local authorities, before finally catching up to their sensei, who was not, as they had expected, spying at the hot springs, but openly making an ass of himself at one of the sleazier bars in town.

Needless to say Jiraiya had to walk with a limp for the rest of the day.

--

"So, Ero-sennin." Naruto called out as they walked, having left the town far behind hours ago, "This 'Super-babe' you were telling us about…Tsunade?"

Jiraiya, still limping somewhat from the beating grinned at the blonde, "Oho! Getting sharper already?" he nodded, "That's her alright."

Recca frowned, "She's one of the Sannin," he stated, "like you and Ero-hebi…right?"

Jiraiya choked at the title for his former teammate, filing it away for future reference. "Erm…yeah." He coughed out, wiping a few tears from his eyes.

Domon looked confused as he scratched his head, "If she's one of your teammates…just how old is she?" he wondered.

Jiraiya smiled, "My age!" he said, trying to stand up straight and failing due to his protesting back as the trio shivered in disgust.

"DAYMN! She's an old hag!" Recca muttered, looking sick.

Domon shook his head, a downtrodden expression on his face. "Man, getting our hopes up like that…" he muttered, visions of a buxom beauty flying away to be replaced by a decrepit old crone.

Jiraiya snorted, eyeing them with the same glee a sculptor has when offered a limitless supply of clay. 'They preach, but they can't hide their true natures,' the Gama-sennin snickered, 'I'll convert them to the way of the super-pervert yet!'

"Anyway." Naruto asked after calming down somewhat, "What's she like?" he asked, looking interested.

Jiraiya frowned in thought, wondering what was okay to leave out. "Well…she's kinda annoying," he admitted, "she's a compulsive gambler, famous in a lot of countries."

Recca smirked and walked with his arms behind his head, "She'll be easy to find if she's famous then." He deduced, earning an amused snort from Jiraiya.

"Oh she's famous alright," the sennin muttered, "She's known as…"

--

Shizune squealed as the gamblers grinned at her master, like foxes in a chicken coop. 'HEEEEE! Look how happy they are already!' she worried, internally weeping as her sensei bet the entire load on the one round.

--

"Densetzu no Kamo?" Domon repeated, blinking in confusion as Jiraiya nodded sagely, shaking his head afterwards.

"She may be famous, but finding her won't be easy," the white haired sennin admitted, "Tsunade ain't the type to age gracefully, so she'll be using a genjutsu to disguise herself." He sighed and waved his hand dismissively, "She may be fifty, but she'll have the body of a twenty year old," he snorted, "and if what I've been hearing is right, she's prone to changing her appearance to a ten, thirty, even forty year old to escape her debts."

The trio stared at him dubiously, bland looks on their faces. 'Not exactly…inspiring…' they muttered, wondering just what type of person this lady was.

Jiraiya snorted at the looks on their faces, knowing all too well what they were thinking. "Tsunade liked to gamble as a kid, more than anything," he shook his head, "but she really sucked at it, in terms of skill AND luck, so much so that I once commented that the only times Tsunade won something, it would be a sign of bad things to come…and then she decked me one."

The sennin sighed, rubbing his jaw at the memory of the savage mauling Tsunade had inflicted upon him, letting out another to block out the sniggers directed at him from the trio. "She's had the title for years." he muttered wistfully, "She'd always be borrowing money, then running from her debts." He sighed, wiping a tear form his eye, as he looked skywards fondly, "Those were the days."

"You actually miss them?!" the trio yelled, looking put-on at the sennin's actions, to which Jiraiya merely grinned.

Naruto, after calming down again, cleared his throat and looked up at the sennin. "I'm guessing you have a way to find her?" he asked, to which Jiraiya responded with a curt nod.

"I'll spare you the details though," the sennin stated, "we'll be walking for a while, so I'll be spending my time on you three." The trio blinked as he smirked at them, "We're gonna power you guys up! It's training time!"

"YEAH!" the trio yelled, raising both fists in the air, before joining hands and dancing around Jiraiya in a circle, causing him to sweatdrop.

'Hoo-boy…'

--

"SUGOI!!" Naruto called out, gazing all around him in awe, "I've never been to a festival before!"

Domon and Recca would have commented on that, but they knew the reason, mentally chalking up another notch on the village's payback list.

"Right!" Jiraiya called out over the noise, "Until the festival ends, we'll be staying here!" He grinned at them and nodded, "Do whatever you want!"

Naruto saluted the sennin cheerfully and pulled out his frog wallet, which was gorged to it's fullest. "HOH!" Jiraiya whistled, grinning at the sight of it, "Big wad of cash there! Like a government official!"

Domon and Recca smirked, the latter ruffling his brother's hair. "Sandaime had a bonus set aside for us for the wave mission," he explained, "and Kakashi sensei got us full pay for bringing back Uchiha during the invasion."

Each of them held up their bulging money pouches and waved at the sennin over their shoulders, "See ya!"

"HOLD IT!"

The trio paused as Jiraiya swiped their wallets, handing each at least 300 ryo's worth. "OI! Give us back our savings!" they yelled irately, only for the sennin to nimbly sidestep them.

"Fools!" Jiraiya barked, going into lecture mode, "Don't you know that the three sins that should be avoided by shinobi at all costs are women, sake and money?" The three grumbled as he handed Domon his pack. "If there's any trouble, the toads can track you with that," Jiraiya muttered, before waving over his shoulder, "I'll go gather info on Tsunade."

--

The genin were having a reasonably good time, despite the lack of funds, and were currently goofing around at a mask shop, where they'd managed to find masks that suited them.

Naruto was grinning behind a fox mask while Recca wore one like Haku's, only with a dragon motif. Domon was wearing an Oni mask similar to those worn by samurai, and was about to make a comment regarding the blonde's choice when he tripped and stumbled into the stall.

"Please be careful," the stall keeper warned him, "with the masks on you can't see very well."

Domon muttered an apology and began picking up the contents of Jiraiya's pack, when Naruto spotted something. "Is this Ero-sennin's bankbook?" the blonde asked, picking it up to verify the owner's name, the trio crowding round the booklet, their eyes bulging out of their sockets at the contents.

"CRAP THAT'S A LOT OF ZEROS!" Recca blurted out, running is eyes over the list to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"The cheap bastard could buy the whole damn village twice with this!" Domon growled, anger coming off him in waves.

Naruto stared at the booklet, before a grin crossed his face, which slowly spread to the others' as he whispered in their ears.

--

Jiraiya felt his spine shiver, a sudden sense of impending doom settling over his bones, before shrugging it off as gas and returning to the girls that were sitting alongside him, laughing out loud.

"Oh yeah, me and the daimyo are like this" he lied as he crossed his fingers, "Poor guy couldn't scratch his own ass without me!"

The girls laughed in the manner of those who have heard it all before, but were willing to put up with it again for the contents of the man's wallet.

'Ha! Shows what they know!' Jiraiya mocked internally as he looked at the wallets on the table before him, 'MY money isn't going anywhere!'

--

Recca grinned as they chowed down at one of the best restaurants in town. "Nice of Ero-sennin to let us use his bank cards." He muttered around a mouthful of noodles.

Domon grunted as he shoved another bowl of teriyaki down his gullet, placing it on the pile that was already ten bowls high. Naruto waved a waitress down, smiling at her. "Some more noodles please, and keep that ramen coming!"

The waitress smiled and walked off, 'Such well mannered young men!' she thought, waving over the chef to let him know about the orders.

Said 'well mannered' men let out a joint belch that caused the shutters to rattle, before fighting over the last teriyaki bowl.

The restaurant had gone eerily silent, as the other patrons stopped to watch the trio in the free for all battle against hunger. Many were placing bets as to who would be the victor, whilst some of the more prudent diners merely sniffed and pretended the teens weren't there. This proved difficult, as they were sending sauce and splintered chopsticks through the air like hail.

"Here's your order sirs." The waitress grunted, sweating as she tried to lift the massive tray. The fighting immediately stopped and Domon stood up to help her with it, ignoring the fork that was apparently sticking out of his head.

"Thanks again." The giant offered, before turning back to the fray, the waitress smiling as she made her way back to the kitchen.

'Animals…' the other customers thought in awed horror, watching numbly as chopsticks, forks, knives spoons and elbows were utilized in an attempt to both snag the most food and ward off any attempts at stealing it, 'they're ANIMALS!'

--

"That was good." Recca moaned, as they sat outside, drinking green tea to settle their bulging stomachs.

"I'm stuffed." Naruto agreed, rubbing his swollen belly contentedly, gazing up at the sky in contentment.

"Me too," Domon belched, spread out on his back like an overweight cat, "I ate like a pig…."

Recca snorted, "But Domon…you ARE a pig." The enjutsu-shi noted mockingly. The giant teen swiped at his friend in response, only for it to miss lazily as he was too stuffed to even move properly.

"Nice place this," Naruto muttered, as he waved at the smiling waitress, "Aka-beko, kinda catchy."

Recca snorted, "Y'think we kept the letch waiting long enough?" he asked rhetorically, gulping down the last of his tea.

Domon grunted and grabbed his sword, heaving himself to his feet. "Let's go," he muttered, "I need ta walk that off anyways."

--

Jiraiya let out a belly laugh as he complimented the girls yet again, only to freeze as he felt the air grow decidedly chilly, looking up to reveal the glowering form of his companions in the doorway.

"Tell me…Ero-sennin," Naruto muttered, trembling with barely suppressed rage, "What were those 'three sins' you were talking about?"

Jiraiya gulped as he noticed the three had red eyes, and their faces were shadowed.

Domon picked up their empty wallets and snorted, "I thought you said you'd watch these for us…" he rumbled, shooting the man a dangerous look.

Jiraiya shivered as they stepped forwards, looking for an escape route. "Um…I can explain..." he began weakly, holding up his hands, only for the trio to start kicking him, denying him the chance to do anything other than scream in pain.

Limbs and feet lashed out, sending food and sake flying everywhere, and things could have gone very badly for the sennin had someone not entered the bar just as Naruto's heel hit the sake bowl.

"Hey! Look what you idiots did!"

The four Konoha shinobi looked round at the voice; revealing two men in matching coats, save that one had a rapidly spreading stain that stunk of sake along the front, the spilled sake bowl clattering at his feet.

"You ruined Akoki's designer jacket!" the bald one yelled, "You better compensate for it! Give us 1,000,000 Ryo!"

The trio balked at the price, pupils gone. "THAT THING'S WORTH 1,000,000 Ryo?!" they yelled in tandem, jaws hitting the floor.

"For it's price, it still looks damn cheap." Jiraiya snorted, cast ing an indifferent look towards the irate duo, earning a growl from the bald one.

"Don't mess with us ya bastard!" said baldy barked out, "Akoki's a former chunin of Iwagakure! The Densetzu no Yami-nin!"

Jiraiya smirked, "Legendary…eh?" he shot the dark haired man a look that was half taunting and half degrading, "Doesn't look it."

The so-called 'Yami-nin' charged forwards, enraged. "I'll redefine your understanding of pain!" he roared, hands at his sides as he prepared to tackle the sennin.

As the trio moved to intercept the man, Jiraiya waved them back. "Naruto," he called out "take a good look…this is the move you're gonna be mastering."

The trio stared as a sphere of chakra appeared to form in the man's hands; before he rammed it into the charging Iwa-nin. For a moment, nothing happened other than the man's eyes bulging as the sphere rammed into his gut, then the moment passed and he was sent spiraling backwards violently, crashing into his partner and the water balloon stall behind him.

--

The trio had to pick their jaws off the ground once again at the sight, ignorant of the dust that was causing the other patrons to hack up their lungs.

"Naruto…you are one lucky bastard…" Recca muttered as Domon could only nod in agreement.

Jiraiya, magnanimous in victory, strode forward, the man's wallet in hand, and paid for the damages, and purchasing all the undamaged balloons. "Come on you guys," he called over his shoulder, "It's training time!"

The trio blinked, before dashing after their teacher, leaving a startled brothel, a damaged cart, and two unconscious former chunin.

--

"The hell you mean we can't learn it?!" Recca yelled, standing next to an equally irate Domon, whilst Jiraiya shrugged, looking unconcerned.

"One master, one disciple, that's how these things work." The sennin replied with a smirk, "Besides, from what I can tell, you guys did pretty well by yourselves last time."

The two shuffled slightly, not wanting to talk about their 'helpers' in front of the sannin. "Whatever." The Shorter of the two muttered, "You better teach Naruto that jutsu," he glared at the sennin, "and nothing BUT jutsus, or I'll fry your balls."

Jiraiya shivered, before turning back to his blonde pupil, who was looking apologetically at his teammates as they stormed away in a huff. "Now Naruto," he began, after clearing his throat, "what was the first thing you noticed about the attack?"

Naruto frowned, trying to recall everything that happened back at the bar as carefully as he could. "Uh…you formed a sphere, then rammed it into his gut," the blonde recalled slowly, "then the guy went flying."

Jiraiya nodded, mildly impressed, he'd been expecting the kid to only notice the latter part. "Oh they spun alright," he agreed, holding up a water balloon, which began to bulge erratically, before bursting, dousing the ground with water and rubber.

"For this jutsu, you must utilize the constantly maintaining chakra used for tree climbing, and combine it with the steady flow of chakra like you use for water walking."

Naruto stared at the ball in his hands and frowned, "So basically, maintain a constant level of chakra, whilst releasing it continuously?" he prodded, eyeing the sannin carefully.

'Damn but this kid's good at picking things up!' the sannin praised mentally, a small smile on his face, 'If Kushina had lived to see this…'

"Basically yeah," he admitted aloud, "First: use the principle of tree climbing to maintain a moderate amount of chakra in your hands," he held up a palm, "then secondly: utilize the water walking principle to release it continuously."

Naruto nodded, eyes brimming with eagerness to get underway, "Yosha! Until this balloon is ready to boil, I'll keep practicing!"

Jiraiya smiled as the image of his two students stood behind the jinchuuriki, shaking his head fondly, "You'll eventually get used to it." He instructed, "So let's train until it gets dark."

--

Domon growled as he stomped through the streets, a veritable thundercloud across his features. 'Damn Ero-sennin' the giant cursed, unknowingly causing several people to stare at him in fear, 'legendary Sannin my ass!'

He stomped down the streets towards Aka-beko, deciding to use his 'borrowed' cards to drown his anger in teriyaki. Blinking at the sounds of raised voices, he noticed what appeared to be several men in uniform harassing the woman from the restaurant, Tae and the younger girl called Tsubame.

'What the hell?' Domon growled, making his way towards them silently, 'Oh I am in no mood for this!'

--

Unaware of the pain that was imminent in their immediate future, the uniformed men continued with their activities, basking in their own self-important glory.

"You sure there isn't any room for us?" one drawled, tapping his sword against his thigh and smiling in a humorless manner. Tae tried to struggle out of the grip of another thug, whilst Tsubame was looking panicky. "I'm sure you could find SOME room." he continued, smirking as he eyed the older woman with a leer.

Tsubame seemed on the verge of tears, and would have cried out for help when her eyes widened and stared right behind the man and Tae.

"What are you gawking at?" the leader growled, only for the world to go black as a fist the size of a small ham rammed his head into the wall.

--

Domon growled and dropped the man, eyeing the other three like you would cockroaches. "Who's next?" he growled, cracking his knuckles. Two leapt forwards, swords partially drawn, whilst another held Tsubame between him and the giant like a shield.

Domon simply grabbed the hilt of Kubikiri Houcho and lifted the massive sword up with one hand, causing everyone to stare at him in shock. "You've got one chance to run," The giant rumbled, "and then I'm going medieval on your ass." He smirked at the goons insanely, pupils apparently gone and with more fangs in his head than should be humanely possible.

The coward took to the hills screaming bloody murder, pushing Tsubame forwards onto the ground in his haste; the other two weren't far behind, hair bleached white from terror as they attempted to break the Olympic high-speed dash record for running with your tail between your legs.

Domon snorted, replacing his weapon on its harness, before helping the younger waitress to her feet. "You okay?" he asked Tae, who was brushing herself off.

"Y-yes." The woman replied, sounding more confident after the initial stutter, but smiling nonetheless, "Arigatou Domon-kun."

The giant shrugged, looking at the unconscious one and kicking him in the nuts. "Want me to dump him somewhere?" he asked, a small leer crossing his features as he eyed the prone form of the man.

Tae played with the sadistic thought for a brief moment, before sighing as her pacifist mentality won over and shook her head. "Please just move him to the side." She asked, knowing Fujita-san wouldn't like it if one of his men turned up in the river.

Domon nodded, before grabbing one of the man's legs and dragging him, none too gently, into an alley, adding to the man's definite head trauma by dumping him head first into a trashcan when Tae wasn't looking. "I'll be heading on then." He muttered, nodding to the two, "I'll find another place to grab a bite."

Tae blinked, before remembering her conversation with the thugs, grabbing the departing teen's hand. "There's still a booth open," she said with a warm smile, "Please, come on in."

Domon nodded, and lowered his head slightly to fit under the doorway, only to be clouted over the head with a shinai.

--

Recca marched off towards the onsen, where he hoped to spend some time, and a good deal of Jiraiya's money, letting the soothing hot waters drain away all the pent up aggression, before he felt the urge to blow something up, namely Jiraiya.

'Damn super-perv.' He grumbled, sinking into the waters with a sigh, 'he'd better not try anything funny with Naruto!'

"You're awfully tense, you know that?" came a cracked old voice, causing the teen to whip round to glare pointedly at the lounging form of Koku, "Yo."

"You're damn lucky I recognized your voice." Recca muttered, "I coulda flash fried you with Setsuna."

Koku chuckled weakly at this, but brushed it aside as he sank into the waters, "That Jiraiya fellow certainly is an odd one." He commented after a while, "But there's no doubt of his strength, even Resshin was impressed by that jutsu."

"Yeah he would," Recca pouted, "stingy bastards the both of em."

Koku sweatdropped, "Ano…it's not that Resshin doesn't WANT to help you," he commented, "It's just that he hasn't seen the NEED to do so."

Recca refused to reply to this, so the aged Karyuu simply sighed and shook his head, "You're way too tense for your age," he muttered, "What happened to the brain-dead hothead that we all knew and loved?"

"Who you calling brain-dead?!" Recca yelled, hurling a nearby sake bottle at the old man, only for him to catch it and take a sip.

"Blech! This tastes terrible!" he spat, wiping his mouth, "Must've been here for days." He shot Recca a sly grin and pointed at it, "Smells of woman though, wanna sip?"

"YOU SICK OLD PERV!" Recca yelled, "I DUNNO WHO'S WORSE! YOU OR THAT ERO-SENNIN!"

Koku chuckled as he allowed the teen to chase him around the onsen, hurling gunpowder balls and shuriken in an attempt to 'smash yer perverted head in!'

'AH…this is more like it.' He sighed, taking another sip of the stale sake, 'DEFINITELY a woman,' he mused, 'quite a fine one at that.'

--

Tsunade felt a shiver run up her spine as she dodged down another alley, hoping she'd lost her pursuers. 'I sense a dirty mind.' She muttered, 'Someone's made a perverted comment about me.' She growled and stomped down the alley to the meeting place she and Shizune had agreed to. 'It better not be that bastard Jiraiya!'

--

Jiraiya let out a colossal sneezed that drenched a passing swallow as it flew too low, earning a disgusted squawk from the avian as it returned to it's perch, glaring beadily down at the roused Sennin.

'Must be getting cold out.' The sennin muttered, "Oi Naruto!" he yelled, earning the attention of the blonde, "You keep practicing, I'm going to gather information, meet back at the inn later on okay?"

Naruto merely nodded and turned his attention back to the ball in his hands. So far he'd succeeded in making the water rotate, but only in one direction, causing the balloon to take on a distinct football like appearance.

'This isn't right.' The blonde hypothesized, 'I'm missing something vital here…but what?'

--

And so the madness continues.

What will happen to Domon-kun?

Will Koku survive Recca's mauling?

What is the secret to the Rasengan?

Tune in next time to find out!

(Cyborg ninja walks onto the stage, opens visor and clears throat.)

CN: Hello, I'm Frank Jaeger, some of you may remember me as Grey Fox from Metal Gear 1 and 2. I'm here to provide a bit of translation for those who feel alienated by Kyugan's use of japanese.

Densetsu no kamo-Legendary Sucker(Loser in the Viz translation)

Teriyaki: A type of strir fried beef bowl dish.

Daimyo: Feudal lord.

CN: Lemme know if you got any more, I'll do my best to translate.

Kakashi: (Still suspended) Very decent of you.

Kyugan: No input from you (Presses a button on a remote)

CN:( Convulses, lightning shooting off him) GRAAAAAH! MUST. KILL!

Kakashi: (eyes the electrified cyborg in terror) !

* * *


	31. Chapter 31

Some of you have been asking me to level off with the japanese. Sorry, I feel it helps with the originality, but let me assure you that I shall amke every attempt to translate it at the end.

Kakashi: Hmph, like you care.

Kyugan: What did I tell you about input?

(Raises rocket launcher, only for Kakashi to dissapear, holding a Kunai at his neck.)

Kakashi: You little brat...did you really think I'd forget all the indignity you put me through?

Kyugan: Nope, frankly I was hoping the tauma would stick with you the rest of your natural life.

Kakashi: Well guess what, while I as being tortured I noticed something interesting...for all your contacts and gadgets, you have virtually no combat ability.

Kyugan: True...sadly so.

Kakashi: Which means at this range you're defensless.

Kyugan: Defenseless? Me? (Chuckless darkly) Is that what he said?

?: He did indeed.

Kakashi (Whirls around to stare in horror at the man behind him) Y-You! What are you doing here?!

?: I see that Frank never got round to teaching you manners. (Exhales cigar smoke) Oh well, more for me.

Kyugan: Do be thurough will you? (Turns to leer at the trembling Kakashi) Show him the power of the greatest soldier of the 20th century...Big Boss.

* * *

Aku Soku Zan; Domon and the Miburo!

The last time we left our heroes they were divided and scattered all around the town.

Recca was last seen chasing a mocking Koku around the bathhouse in a berserker rage and not much else, earning a few appreciative looks from some of the female patrons as they peeked through the holes in the walls.

Naruto was wracking his brain in an attempt to figure out the first stage of Jiraiya's jutsu, so far having little luck in producing anything other than a football shaped balloon.

Jiraiya…well, the less said about the supreme grandmaster of perverts the better; let's just say he was having the time of his life in his search for information concerning his wayward teammate.

And as for Domon, the last we saw of the big guy he'd just been ambushed by a shinai, which is where our story picks up.

--

"Yahiko-kun!" Tae chastised, staring at an angry faced young man in shock, "What are you doing?!"

Domon blinked and scratched his head, which was none the worse for wear despite the young waiter's best efforts, the shinai having met its match in the giant's skull, which was known to have shattered statues of solid marble, not to mention a set of perfectly good cybernetic arms.

"Y-yahiko-kun…" Tsubame chastised quietly, looking at the boy meaningfully. Yahiko, as the sullen looking youth was identified, grunted and tapped the remains of his weapon against his shoulder, blinking as he realized said weapon was ruined; his eyes bulging at the sight of the shattered stump.

"The hell's your skull made of?" a man with a red bandanna muttered, stepping up behind the kid, munching on fishbone as he spoke. "I mean, I've heard of being thickheaded but-"

"Sanosuke-san!" Tae exclaimed, "That isn't nice!" The man waved and walked back to his booth, whilst the apron wearing youth grumbled and marched off to the kitchen, muttering something about replacing the damaged weapon. "Honestly…that man…" Tae muttered, shaking her head, causing Domon to blink and point after the retreating figure.

"Lovers spat?" the giant asked, causing Tae to flush and shake her head, hiding behind her tray in embarrassment.

"NO! Sanosuke-san is simply a regular here!" She frowned slightly, "One that has an exceptionally large tab." She added as an afterthought.

Domon, not quite getting it, nodded dumbly and allowed Tsubame to guide him to an empty booth. "Lessee," he muttered, looking up at Tae, "I'll have the same as last time then."

Tae smiled, "Right; ten bowls of Teriyaki, twenty bowls of rice, twenty bowls of chicken ramen, thirty manju buns, twenty spring rolls, fifteen teppanyaki," she looked up from her notebook, "and some green tea?"

Domon smirked, "That's the one," he stated, looking over the menu again, "got any Amazake?"

Tae looked thoughtful, "I'll see what I can find." She assured him, smiling at the giant as she headed for the kitchen.

--

As Tae walked off, several people were eyeing the giant with fascination. "Did you hear how much he ordered?" one regular asked, "Ya think he's expecting someone?"

"Dunno," his drinking buddy muttered, "looks like he could put it all away himself."

The man from earlier, Sanosuke, was sipping sake with a smaller, red headed man and a woman with a blue bow. He elbowed the smaller man before nodding at the giant. "What d'ya think Kenshin?" he asked, downing his sake in one gulp.

"This one cannot say for certain," the smaller man replied gently, "perhaps he IS waiting on someone."

At that moment, the door opened to admit a tall, flint-eyed man in a police uniform with a katana at his waist. "Well look what the cat dragged in." Sano muttered, tempted to spit but held back in respect of Tae's wishes.

"Hn," The policeman snorted, "the fool is drinking," he shook his head, "why not, he couldn't be a bigger fool drunk than sober."

Kaoru fought to restrain her friend while Kenshin sighed, looking up at the man wearily. "What is it you want Saito?" he asked, ready to turn down a challenge should the need arise.

"I heard that some of the rookies were causing trouble," the former Shinsengumi captain replied, stepping forwards. "On the subject, would someone care to explain why one of them appears to be in a dumpster?"

Domon froze, sweating slightly as he tried to make himself smaller, smiling as Tae arrived with the food, before trying to listen in without appearing to do so. 'This doesn't sound good…' he muttered, 'better try to act inconspicuous…'

Kenshin blinked, eyeing his bird-headed friend carefully. "Sano, did you do that?" he asked, disapproval in his tone

Sano smirked, "Would've, but someone beat me to it." He scratched his head, "Some big guy with a weird face and haircut."

"Were you looking in a mirror at the time then?" Saito quipped, shooting the brawler a mocking look.

"What'd you say?!" Sano yelled, standing up and sending Kaoru stumbling backwards with a yelp. Kenshin tried to defuse the situation when Saito noticed that one of the restaurants patrons was trying to hide, rather unsuccessfully considering his head and hair peeked over edge of the booth.

Tae entered with a smile, "Ah! Fujita san!" she greeted the policeman "I'm sorry but we're full at the moment."

Saito smiled and switched to 'Cheerful mode', causing Sano to snort. "Sorry, but I heard there was a disturbance," the policeman stated, "Did some rookies bother you?"

"Not really," Tae assured him, "Domon-kun helped out."

Saito's eyebrow rose as he noticed that the occupier of the last booth seemed to choke at the woman's statement and attempted to further conceal his massive form. "Is that so?" the policeman asked, bowing slightly, still smiling as he exited the restaurant, "Sorry for the trouble, I'll see to it that they don't trouble you again."

--

Domon sighed with relief as the man left, and resumed shoveling the food down. 'Man,' he muttered, 'If I'd known those freaks were the police…' He shivered, 'Mom always told me to never get on the police's bad side.'

And indeed she had. If there was one thing that Domon's beloved mother had pounded into his skull, as she spanked him for being a no good delinquent, it was that no son of hers was going to go to prison.

Now Domon was by no means a mama's boy, he disobeyed her orders quite a bit in his many tussles with Recca and his pursuit of Fuko, but deep down, underneath all the swaggering and muscle lay a little bit of insight that just knew that the knowledge of her baby being in prison would destroy Mrs. Ishijima both emotionally and physically.

As it were, he contented himself with his meal and paid no attention to the world in general, employing chopsticks, forks and a lot of elbow action in his desire to scarf down the food before his teammates swooped in, a defensive mechanism that seemed to have been ingrained into the other two as well.

Kenshin sweatdropped as he watched the young man dig into the food like some sort of deranged animal coming off a fast. "It would appear this one's assumptions were wrong." he noted, earning a nod from Sanosuke.

"WAY wrong." The fighter agreed, dodging a flying fishbone with the ease of long practice.

--

Recca panted as he lay face up in the onsen; sweat running down his head to mix with the water as he tried to catch his breath. "Hoh? Tired are we?" Koku asked, sipping what appeared to be a fresh sake cup as he sat on a rock at the edge of the water.

"I hate you." Recca growled, turning his head to glare at the elderly Karyuu, "As soon as I catch my breath, I'm coming after you again."

"Don't I feel special." The elderly Karyuu noted, "And here I was offering to help you with your training…"

Abruptly Recca had clasped the old man's hands in his own, eyes sparkling, "Have I told you how much I love you?" he mock-simpered.

Koku sweatdropped, 'Oh yeah…he really is Resshin's kid alright…' he muttered, shivering at the look. Shaking out of the teen's clutches and dusting himself down, Koku cleared his throat.

"As I was saying, I'm ready to begin a deeper instruction into the uses of your inner flame," he eyed the young enjutsu-shi carefully, "you've mastered the special ability sure, but there are many depths to a flame as you've no doubt seen from Kurei."

Recca winced, remembering the origin of Kurenai and the fiery reincarnation of Jisho, "You mean the ability to revive people as flames?" he stated, looking non-too pleased at the thought of it.

Koku frowned at the look of distaste on the boy's face, "Don't be so quick to judge," he admonished, "for the hokage, being absorbed into an enjutsu-shi's flame was considered a great honour, reserved only for those most trusted and dear to the leader."

"It isn't right!" Recca countered, "The dead should stay dead! Making them fight when their bodies are gone is just…wrong!"

"Then what of the Karyuu?" Koku pointed out, stopping the teen cold, "Have you forgotten that THEY were once mere mortal beings?"

Recca stared at the old man, before running his hands over the tattoos reverently. 'How could I forget…' he muttered, 'they lent me their strength for so long…and each died unfulfilled.'

Visions of the Karyuu's human faces swept across his mind, with the exception of Resshin, whose empty draconic stare loomed behind them all.

"I understand that you don't like the idea of absorbing those close to you into yourself." Koku noted consolingly, "But like it or not, you must understand that sometimes it is the only way to preserve their memory, some may even ask it of you themselves, for fear of leaving the world alone." He leveled a solemn look at the teen, one weighted with the length of his many years and nodded.

"In this regard, Kurei is more adept as an enjutsu-shi."

--

Naruto grumbled as he felt his hand go numb from the strain of rotating so much chakra at once. He'd been practicing the technique for several hours and had failed to notice the setting of the sun. 'I'd best be getting back to the hotel.' He conceded, glaring hatefully at the little rubber sphere, 'damned thing's more stubborn than Konohamaru.'

Sighing, the blonde got to his feet, grabbing the ball as he made his way back to the inn, wincing as his stomach growled.

'Maybe I can find a ramen stand around here…' he wondered, wondering what his aniki and Domon had gotten up to whilst he'd been training, 'Probably stuffing themselves right now.'

--

Domon smiled as Tae handed back the card, and made his way to the exit, leaving several startled customers staring at the mountain of empty dishes left behind.

"He eats more than Sano and Yahiko." Kaoru muttered, eyes wide, watching as Yahiko had a nervous breakdown at the sight of the amount of dishes he had to clean.

"Oro…" Kenshin murmured, nodding dumbly at the sheer amount of dirty dishes, pitying the Katsujin-ken student with all his being.

As Domon left the restaurant, he didn't notice the pair of shadows eyeing him. "That's him alright…cocky bastard." One muttered, nudging the other figure beside him with his elbow.

"Think we can take him?" the other asked, causing the first to snort, waving a hand derisively.

"We're gonna need some bait." He muttered, eyeing Tsubame as she took out the garbage, "And I know just what to use."

Unknown to the two men, a THIRD shadow was watching THEM, his cigarette smoke trailing into the air unnoticed.

'Hn,' he muttered, 'interesting, how will this work out?'

--

Domon was walking up the street towards the inn they were staying at, full to the brim and looking forward to a good nap.

'Gotta remember ta check on the squirt.' He noted, concern for his friend worming its way to the forefront of his thoughts as he meandered along the path 'Maybe I shoulda brought some take-out?'

He was just considering finding the nearest ramen stand when his hackles flared up, prompting him to roll forwards, avoiding the swipe to the neck by a hair. 'Damn, let my guard down.' The giant cursed, rolling to his feet with a snarl, gripping the handle of his weapon as he did, "Come on out!" he barked, "I know your hiding in that alley!"

There was a chuckle, and a white haired man exited the alley, dressed in a dirtied police uniform, the saber held in his hands, at the ready. "This town has a strict no swords policy," he called out slyly, "only police or other government figures are permitted to hold one." He held out his hand and smirked, "However, if you hand it over and come with me quietly, I can at least ensure you a single night in the cells."

Domon cursed, eyeing the policeman carefully, 'He seems familiar,' the giant noted, 'where've I seen this guy from…'

"Well?" the policeman called out, "What's your answer, you gonna come quietly or make a scene?"

Domon was about to answer when it hit him; the look on the man's face seemed AWFULLY familiar, even if the hair didn't match. "You're one of those punks from Aka-beko!" the giant yelled, noting the look on the man's face change from slick to shocked, "HA! They let cowards like you into the police? This country must be going to the dogs."

"Watch your tongue!" the irate man snarled, "I am still an officer of the law, and as such I order you to come with me for numerous offences!"

"What offences?" the giant growled, earning a sneer from the reedy looking policeman as he held up a finger.

"One: Assaulting an officer," he held up another finger "Two: carrying a sword openly, despite the sword banning act, and finally: resisting arrest."

"Funny," Domon snorted "you'd think stopping you from harassing a woman woulda earned me brownie points." He smirked and gave the man the finger, "So you can take your offer and stuff it, better yet, let me do it for you!"

The teen leapt forward, ready to bean the man with the back of Kubikiri Houcho, only to frown as the man grinned confidently. "Poor stupid ape." The weasel scoffed, "You think far too simply."

A scream cut through the air, prompting Domon to halt his attack and stare in shock off to the side, where another white haired man held a scared Tsubame with a gun pointed at her head.

"First rule of trap setting," the first policeman recited, "always have the right type of bait." He gestured towards his comrade and grinned, "One wrong move and her brains are decorating the alley walls…drop the weapon."

Domon snarled and eyed the man in disgust, before hurling Kubikiri Houcho at the ground so that it stood embedded standing up. "Pretty nice Zanbato." The man acknowledged, not getting too close in case Domon had another weapon, "But something tells me its all for show." He sneered at the giant and pointed at the ground, "On your knees, head down!"

Domon complied, growling in anger the whole time, not taking his eyes off the man's as he lowered his head to the floor. The policeman grinned and stamped on the giant's head. "Not so tough now are you!?" he mocked, ramming his foot up and down, "Think you can bully us around?" He stamped and kicked at the giant's unresisting head, "We're the police! We're officers of the law! That means we ARE the law!"

--

Tsubame sobbed as she watched the policeman ram Domon's head into the ground, whilst his comrade cackled maliciously. "Stop it!" she begged trying to pull out of his hold, only for it to tighten around her neck and the gun to be pressed against her skull.

"You ain't going nowhere." The accomplice hissed, "And if you dare tell anyone, we'll kill him instead of taking him to the cells."

Tsubame sobbed again, staring at the scene, gasping as the other man raised his saber in a stabbing movement. "Lets see how tough you are without your arm!" he cackled, thrusting downwards at the giant's right shoulder. Tsubame let out a shocked cry and, in a moment of impulsive bravery, bit down on her captor's wrist, earning a scream as he flung her away before darting forwards to try and stop the saber's path.

"You're dead bitch!" the bitten man shrieked, and made to pull the trigger, before the business end of a katana exited his mouth, having punched through the back of his head to get there.

The first man slapped Tsubame aside and was about to run her through when he felt a vice-like grip like close over his arm. There was a sudden crunching noise and he let out a scream as his elbow was shattered, the arm dangling limply, his saber falling from nerveless fingers.

Domon dropped the arm and spun, his fist coming round like a small meteorite to collide with the man's jaw, sending him flying backwards, trailing blood and teeth as he tumbled across the street and into a wall, falling flat on his face.

'Impressive' a shadowy figure noted, watching as the giant shrugged off his injuries as if they were mere gnat bites, 'The boy has an impressive build, and an even greater sense of honor.'

Robes rustled in the shadows as the figure noted the death of the second policeman courtesy of another, 'This situation seems under control,' he decided, 'perhaps I should make myself scarce.'

--

"Nice punch." A calm, familiar voice noted appraisingly, causing the giant to turn round, cursing as he took in the form of the policeman from the restaurant, Fujita Goro.

"Lt. Fujita!" the weasel of a man called out, "Thank goodness! This guy's resisting arrest, assaulting officers!"

"Oh dear all that?" Fujita muttered, running an eye over the surroundings, "Oh my and he seems to have involved a civilian too."

Domon cursed, wondering if all the police in the area were crooked, when he noticed the look in the Lieutenant's eyes.

It was the type of look he'd seen in Kurei's eyes; cold, merciless, yet straight as a well fletched arrow. If Kurei wanted you dead, you were dead, sometimes before you knew it. But Kurei was also a man of his word, from what Koganei had told them, and would not betray his principles for anything.

That was the look he saw in this man's eyes, the kind of eyes that reminded him, eerily, of a wolf ready to pounce.

"And sir! Look!" the pitiful man whined, pointing with his good hand, "He even killed my partner sir!"

"Oh I'm afraid we can't hold him responsible for that." The policeman chastened, walking forwards slowly, his drawn katana in hand, "He did not in fact, kill officer Maeda."

"But Sir! He had to have!" the crooked policeman yelled hysterically, "Who else could have-!"

"I killed him." Fujita cut in, earning a shocked silence from the figure, "And I'm well aware of your actions today."

The man began to tremble, leaning against the wall for support as he pushed himself to his feet, "B-but…you're an officer!" he stammered, "You can't kill your subordinates!"

"What was it you said earlier?" Fujita pondered running a handkerchief along the blade to remove the blood, "Didn't you claim that the police ARE the law?"

The policeman began to stutter excuses as Fujita finished wiping down his sword. "An adequate theory," Fujita allotted, "and it's rather fitting I suppose…after all there is a particular law that I hold very close to heart."

Domon couldn't see the lieutenants face, since Fujita's back was to Tsubame and the giant as he advanced on the unfortunate policeman, but judging from the look on the wretch's face, Fujita was doing them a favor by not facing them at that moment.

"Aku Soku Zan."

--

Domon covered Tsubame's eyes and turned her away from the sight, the girl was only just coming round from the blow to the head and the giant felt it compulsory to ensure she didn't have anything to add to the nightmares she would no doubt receive from this event.

'Man…this guy!' Domon thought in wonder, 'The speed of that thrust…Incredible! I couldn't even see his arm move!'

Tsubame let out a moan and blinked, looking up into the giant's awe struck face. "Domon-san?" she called out catching the Giant's attention as he looked at her in concern.

"Tsubame-chan!" Domon cried, holding her carefully, "Daijoubu-da?" The girl nodded, flushing slightly at the concern in the giant's tone.

"H-hai," Tsubame stammered out weakly, looking around in confusion, "what happened to…"

"I placed them under arrest." Fujita said, stepping into the light to smile reassuringly at the girl from over the giant's shoulder, "Rest up Tsubame-chan, you've had a hard night."

Tsubame would have said something but the trauma from the events took over and she passed out in the giant's arms.

"We should get her back to Aka-beko." Fujita noted, all pleasantness gone from his tone as he turned to Domon authoritatively, "I'll have someone deal with things here."

Domon shivered and eyed the man warily, "Who…are you?" he stated, watching as the man turned to look at him, "You're no ordinary policeman…who the hell are you?!"

Fujita snorted and lit a cigarette, "You're sharper than you look," he complimented, "And you certainly have a lot more guts than those two ever did."

He took a drag on the cigarette, exhaled, watching the smoke dissipate for a moment, before turning to face the wary giant with a smirk. "Former captain of the 3rd squad of the Shinsengumi, Saito Hajime." He nodded at the teen's shocked expression, "Yoroshku."

--

Kenshin looked up just as Tae exited the kitchen, looking worried. "Himura-san," she asked concernedly, "have you seen Tsubame-chan anywhere?"

"Oro? Is there a problem, Tae-san?" the rurouni wondered, earning the attention of Sano and Kaoru, who ceased arguing over the last bit of beef, which Sano pilfered in the silence.

"I left her taking out the garbage a while ago," Tae explained, "but she hasn't come back, and Yahiko says he hasn't seen her around the kitchens either!"

Sano frowned as he munched on the beef, "You think those thugs from earlier came back?" he wondered, shooting Kenshin a look.

Kenshin frowned and got to his feet, "Perhaps we should-" he blinked as the doors swung open, to admit Saito and a roughed up looking Domon, who carried in his arms the slumbering form of-

"Tsubame!" Tae called out, darting forwards in concern, "Fujita-san! Domon-kun! What happened!"

Saito sighed and the mask slipped back on, a concerned Fujita shaking his head in regret, "Sadly, the ones from earlier figured they wanted to cause some more trouble," he nodded at the giant teen beside him, "but this young man was kind enough to lend a hand."

Domon nodded silently, not trusting himself with words as he readjusted the slumbering girl in his arms. "Oh the poor dear!" Tae gasped, turning to the giant teen in gratitude, "Thank you so much Domon-kun! And you too Fujita-san!"

'Fujita' smiled and waved the thanks away, "Just doing my duty ma'am, think nothing of it." He nodded to Domon and turned, "Thank you for your assistance, Ishijima-kun."

The giant nodded wordlessly and handed the girl to Sanosuke who was looking at him critically. "You okay big fella?" the bird-head asked, "You look like someone just walked over your grave."

Domon looked at the man, then out after the departed form of Saito/Fujita and back, earning a look of understanding from the Kenshin-gumi.

"Don't let him scare you." Kenshin offered consolingly, wincing at some of the not-so-pleasant memories of the Miburo, "This one has known him the longest, and he is nothing if not an honorable man."

Domon looked at the smaller man disbelievingly but nodded his thanks and walked out of the restaurant.

--

'Damn!' Domon muttered, his skin rippling in fear as he recalled the cold eyes of the Miburo as he made his way back to the inn, 'The guy reminds me WAY to much of Kurei…minus the pyromaniac sketch.' He glared at his trembling fist accusingly as if it had betrayed him, 'I've gone up against psychopaths before,' he muttered, 'but I've never been more afraid of anyone than I was when I saw those eyes of his.'

"You seem troubled," a voice called out, causing the teen to leap round to face the grinning features of Jiraiya. He was leaning on a bridge post Domon had passed a few seconds ago, looking down at the river.

'Where'd he come from?' Domon thought, looking the sennin over as he paced towards him, 'Guess there's some truth to the rumors after all.'

"I left Naruto doing the exercises," the sennin explained, crossing his arms, "And Recca's training by himself, so I don't need to worry about him."

He looked the giant over carefully, as if measuring him up, before nodding his head, "Kakashi's notes stated you were an earth type chakra alignment." He noted offhandedly, earning a nod from the giant, "That's not uncommon in Konoha, but I'm afraid that earth style techniques aren't easy to come by."

Domon slumped, before blinking as Jiraiya flipped through some seals, causing a scroll to appear in his hands.

"However, I WAS an apprentice to the Sandaime," the sennin stated proudly, "And the old man was quite efficient at using fire and earth jutsu in tandem." He tossed a scroll at the giant, who caught it uncertainly, "That's a list of earth jutsu that the Sandaime mastered." He explained, causing Domon's eyes to widen, "I suggest practicing outside of town, we don't need any man-made landslides disrupting the peace now do we?"

Domon's eyed the scroll in wonder, before looking up at the sennin, only to find the alleyway deserted. 'Damn,' he wondered, gripping the scroll reverently, 'guess that old man IS good for something after all!'

--

Koku's lecture reveals the difference in skill between Recca and Kurei.

Domon is finally on the road to mastering his element.

But what of Naruto? Can he master the Rasengan? Or will the first stage prove too much?

Big Boss: You really shouldn't torment the readers like that.

Kyugan: I know, but it gets the ratings. (Nods at the man and lights up a cigar for him) Good work by the way.

Big Boss: Ninjas, Phah! I eat them for breakfast.

Kyugan: Yes, there's a defininte sequence when it comes to you snakes and Ninjas.

Big Boss: They come, we kill them...though arguably Frank didn't really count as a ninja when I first met him.

Kyugan: True...pretty damn tough tho (Regards a censored pile of rogans in the corner) You left him alive right?

Big Boss: Sorry, torture's Ocelot's speciality, not mine. (Shrugs offhandedly) He'll live, but it won't be pretty.

Kyugan: That's why I pay you the big bucks. (Snaps fingers) And benefits.

Big Boss: ? (arms wrap around him fro behind) WHA-EVA?!

Eva: (Young again through the wonders of Author powers) Jack...care to join me for a game of 'Snake Eater?'

Big Boss: (Blinks, realizes he's regained his youth, turns to Kyugan) Couldn;t fix my eye could you?

Kyugan: Sorry, my powers are useless against things that are badass.

Big Boss: Ah well, no loss. (Grins and scops up Eva) prepare to be tempted my dear (Eyes the censored pile of organs) But first...dinner.

Censored pile of Organs(Kakashi): ...Whimper...

R&R or Big Boss will come for YOU.

* * *


	32. Chapter 32

Ah...nothing like a good meal, wouldn;t you agree, Saladin?

Saladin(Big Boss): Call me John.

Kyugan: Nah, professional courtesy n'all...besides, Saladin just sounds cooler. (Snorts) Funny, never thought I'd ever stomach Kakashi.

Big Boss: He's not that bad, especially with teriyaki sauce.

Kyugan: Lord Quadros, love your work. Thast said, let's get this show on the road!

* * *

Sandaime's teachings; advancement and searching!

"Where the heck's Domon?" Recca grumbled, scratching his belly as he came out of the bathroom, looking at the clock. The giant had been missing for several hours now, which was unlike him, "He's late what the hell's he doing?"

"Probably too stuffed to move." Naruto commented, sighing as he finished his tenth bowl of take away ramen, "This stuff's just not the same as Ichiraku's"

"NOTHING can compare to Ichiraku ramen." Recca corrected, picking up a bowl himself "That isn't really fair of you comparing this to old man Teuchi's stuff."

Jiraiya sweatdropped as he listened in on their conversation, 'Is ramen really the only thing they talk about?' he wondered, having listened in on earlier conversations and heard nothing but ramen comparisons and praises for Ichiraku, 'I mean I'll admit that Teuchi's ramen is damn good stuff, almost as good as sex even, but come on!'

"I'm sure Domon's fine." the sennin called out cryptically, waving his hands dismissively, "I mean, who's gonna be stupid enough to pick a fight with HIM?"

--

Domon sneezed, before shaking his head and looking over the Doton scroll Jiraiya had given him. Sure enough, the jutsu were all written in the Sandaime's elegant script, with simple basic kanji at the side for those with trouble reading the classical.

'Old man's always was considerate.' The giant noted fondly, recalling how the old man had helped him out at the very beginning, 'He deserved a lot better than what he got.'

The memory of the Sandaime's funeral and the weeping Konohamaru made the giant's face darken, before looking over the scroll with a frown. "Doton: Doryuuheki," he muttered, "Summon's a defensive wall of mud and rock from within the body." He grimaced at the idea of vomiting out mud, but decided it was as good a start as any."

Domon flipped through the seals before gathering his chakra, He felt something rise up in his throat, making him gag, before barfing out a small amount of mud. "BLEGH!" the giant retched, trying to clear out the rest, "How in the hell did the old man do this without puking his guts out?!"

He grimaced, before wiping his mouth and getting to his feet, going through the seals again. 'I ain't giving up,' he muttered, 'I owe the old man way too much to back down now.' He gathered the chakra into the seals and braced himself for the mud.

--

Fuko sighed as she looked out the window, eyeing the moon as it hovered in the air. 'Bakas' she muttered, growling as the image of Recca, Domon and Naruto crossed her vision, grinning like the fools they were, 'Leaving me out of the action again, how dare they!'

"Can't sleep?" Yanagi called out, causing the fujin mistress to turn to the healer, "I miss them too." Yanagi offered, "But we shouldn't worry, Recca-kun and Domon-kun are strong, and Naruto-kun is with them too!"

Fuko chuckled, looking down at Recca's Hime with fond eyes, 'You really are something else Yanagi,' she muttered, 'I can see why I lost Recca to you.'

"I ain't worried about Recca or the shrimp," she countered aloud, looking out the window stubbornly, "It's that big brainless mass of muscle that's got me worried." She shrugged, shaking her shoulders, "I mean come on! Sure he's strong and he's smarter than he looks, it still doesn't change the fact he's thick as a post!" she growled, a low rumbling sound that would have earned a look from a certain Inuzuka, "Plus they're traveling with the grandmaster of all perverts, I'll bet they're messing around in the red-light district and…"

She continued to rant on, only to pause, blinking as she noticed the smile on Yanagi's face. "Fuko-chan," the healer noted innocently, "You really care about Domon-kun don't you?"

Fuko flushed magenta, before hurling her pillows at the girl, the two engaging in a pillow fight that lasted for the rest of the evening.

'Dammit,' the fuujin mistress gasped, as she finally collapsed from exhaustion, 'when did Yanagi get so damn insightful?' she rolled over, eyeing the moon in disgust as Domon's ugly mug appeared on it's face. 'Baka,' she muttered, hugging the pillow tight, 'come back safe.'

--

Domon grimaced as he panted for breath, each sounding a little gravely, pun intended. The giant had been practicing for hours now, and the only mud he'd managed to produce had been small bursts that had been mixed with bile. 'I'm not putting enough chakra into it,' he deduced, 'but every time the mud forms I choke, and that breaks my concentration.' He inhaled again, before fixing his eyes in a glare as he went through he seals again.

'Gotta hold on,' he muttered, amassing as much chakra as he could, 'Gotta keep the chakra flowing no matter what!'

He winced as the final seal was finished, the now familiar feeling of mud forming in his throat, only this time, he refused to let it gag him. Instead, he pumped even more chakra into the jutsu, forcing the mud into his mouth, causing his cheeks to bulge.

'Doton: Doryuuheki!'

--

Naruto looked up, gazing out the window in concern, "Recca…" he muttered, earning a grunt from his aniki.

"I felt it too." The other teen admitted, sitting up on his elbows slightly to look at his outoto, his face alert and wary "What was that?"

"Dunno…" Naruto admitted, looking out the window again, "You…you don't think…Domon…"

Recca scoffed and rolled over in his futon, "Nah, nothing bad's gonna happen to the big lug." He grinned at his Outoto, "Cause Domon's a bad thing that happens to everyone else, remember?"

"Well that's true." The blonde agreed, diving under the covers again and trying to get comfortable. "Lord knows he snores something awful…"

--

Domon blinked, coming to with a jolt as he felt a breeze blowing over his face. The Giant sat up, and nearly toppled over as his hand missed the ground. 'Wait…aren't I SITTING on the ground?' he wondered, before looking down and choking back a yelp as he realized just where he'd passed out on.

A small artificial wall of earth and mud had formed, a good five stories high. The lights of the city were visible on the horizon as the Giant gazed out in awe.

'Sugoi…!' Domon muttered, getting to his feet carefully as he looked around 'Though not very practical, the old man probably only used it for defensive purposes.' He looked over his handiwork in awe, before flinching as he realized this was EXACTLY what he'd been warned not to do.

'Can't have that Mibu-Yaro arresting me for using my jutsu near the city,' the giant muttered, raising his hand over his head as he prepared clenched his fist, "FUTAE NO KIWAMI!"

Saito smirked as he exhaled, eyeing the smoke from the collapsed mud wall with interest, "A shame," he muttered, "I was considering asking him to join the police if he got caught." He dropped his cigarette, crushing it under one foot, "Well now, I had best make my report soon…so many interesting things happening today."

--

Unaware of the near escape, Domon caught his breath, munching on a pill to restore his chakra as he ran over the jutsu instructions. 'Like I thought, purely defensive in nature.' The giant muttered, looking over the Sandaime's notes carefully, 'Probably could come in handy if I were facing something like a Suiryuudan or even some of the lesser Karyuu, but against Koku-Oyaji and Kurenai…' he shivered as he recalled the flame that could melt steel.

Shaking himself, the giant got to his feet, deciding that what he needed right now was to focus on his training. 'Lessee…the next jutsu looks promising.' He noted, picking up the scroll, 'Doton: Doryuu Taiga: Creates a river of mud that can impeded or trap the opponent.'

He looked over the jutsu for a few minutes before nodding, gathering his chakra.

--

Tokiya sat cross-legged on a small island in the middle of a river. The teen was meditating, gathering his wits about him as he listened to the water flowing past him. 'The invasion from Otogakure and Sunagakure caught me off guard.' He muttered, a frown marring his features, 'I should have noticed the signs earlier.'

Something moved to his left, causing the teen to respond by striking out with Ensui, severing the dragonfly cleanly in half. 'My skills are deadening,' he muttered, replacing the weapon at his side, 'I must be better prepared next time.'

"So this is where you were." A voice called out, causing him to look up into Haku's amused features, "Kagero-san sent me to find you, apparently Homura-sama wishes to see you."

Tokiya raised a delicate eyebrow, before shrugging, getting to his feet with nary a hair out of place. He paused as she placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling softly. "I know a faster way," Haku stated, making a ram seal, water enveloping the two, only to splash to the ground as Haku teleported. Tokiya didn;t even blink as the water enveloped them, standing to attention as they appeared in the council chambers, startling the two elderly ninjas.

"Ah, Tokiya-kun," Koharu greeted, nodding as she took in the former mist nin behind the teen, "And Haku-chan was it? Thank you for brining him here."

Haku bowed, before dismissing herself, walking out the council doors with an encouraging look at Mikagami.

"You summoned me?" Tokiya asked, looking between the two council members respectfully. Internally though, he was on edge, as he wasn't as trusting as his teammates, and suspected there was an ulterior motive to this summons.

"I won't tell you to relax." Homura stated, drawing the teen's attention, "however, it has come to our attention that you and your team provided a tremendous service during the invasion at the chunin exams."

Koharu held up a sheet, which Tokiya suspected was an ANBU report, "You personally took down twenty chunin ranked shinobi," she noted, "whilst you teammates handled themselves in a manner best fitting for Konoha kunoichi."

"Kirisawa Fuko for example," Homura noted, "I understand that she single-handedly took on at least four three man squads, each of at least chunin rank, whilst Sakoshita Yanagi provided valuable medical support."

"Seventeen Chunin, one jounin and no less than seven ANBU owe their lives to that girl's endeavors." Koharu noted, smiling in a proud sort of way Tokiya didn't like but understood, "She isn't quite on par with Tsunade yet, but given time I believe she could actually surpass her."

"Tsunade?" Tokiya repeated, "Of the Densetsu no Sannin? The legendary medic-nin who revolutionized the platoon formations by including medic Nins with each squad?"

"You're well informed," Homura stated approvingly, "Yes, and if Jiraiya's mission goes well, the future Godaime Hokage."

Tokiya blinked at this, "Jiraiya? The gama sennin?" he looked between the two, "And Godaime? You've already decided on a Godaime?"

"It is necessary," Koharu stated, "Konoha must appear as outwardly strong as ever, and to reinforce that image, a new Hokage was needed."

"We originally intended Jiraiya to be the Godaime," Homura stated, "But he convinced us that Tsunade would make a better choice."

"She is a direct descendant of Shodai Hokage-sama," Tokiya noted, "If anyone is best suited for the job it would be her." He nodded "That, and the anointment of the first female Kage could be regarded as a revolutionary point in shinobi history."

Koharu chuckled at this, shooting the teen an approving look while Homura nodded in agreement. "That aside," the elderly kunoichi cut in, "As a reward for you assistance during the Chunin exams, we are hereby bestowing the rank of Chunin upon yourself and Fuko-chan." She nodded as an aide appeared with a chunin vest in his hands, "Please continue to serve the leaf as you have."

Tokiya accepted the vest with care, bowing to the council members respectfully, before turning on his heel and leaving. 'I've one upped you again Recca,' the swordsman thought with a wry smile, 'you had best hurry back and train harder, if you hope to surpass me.'

--

"A very insightful young man." Homura noted as the doors closed behind the departing swordsman, "And he raised several valid points about Tsunade's appointment."

"A shame we couldn't promote Yanagi-chan as well," Koharu noted, "But until she masters the rudimentary basics we cannot let her by, even with her miraculous gift."

Homura nodded, running his eyes over the list of shinobi carefully. "There are several other qualified members," he noted, "Nara Shikamaru acted like a leader should, using his head and the terrain rather than lunging in headfirst. " he flipped past the Nara's file, "Ishijima Domon's use of the terrain was no less spectacular, but I believe he's relying too much on brute force at the moment."

"He made good use of his skills however." Koharu noted, "Quite the creative use of Kage bunshin and Shinju Zanshu I thought."

"Then there's Hanabishi Recca," Homura muttered, shivering as he recalled the enjutsu-shi's Karyuu, "a most surprising young man…though that temper…"

"A real hothead," Koharu replied with a snort, "Rather like Sarutobi in his youth." She recalled, eyeing the chair before them fondly.

Homura cleared his throat, before eyeing the list carefully. "Those two, along with Nara Shikamaru, were part of the four man group sent to retrieve Uchiha Sasuke during the invasion."

"Who was the fourth member?" Koharu asked, looking over the paperwork carefully, "I understand they fought against the Suna Jinchuuriki."

"Uzumaki Naruto." Homura replied, causing Koharu to look up in shock, "According to the ANBU report, he fought with Sabaku no Gaara to a standstill, before allowing the teen to escape with his siblings."

"Sympathy for his fellow jinchuuriki?" Koharu noted, looking troubled, "Still, I never would have thought he would be able to face down Shukaku so easily."

"Sarutobi always spoke highly of the boy." Homura noted with a nod, "He seemed determined that the boy would accomplish great things."

Koharu was silent for a moment, before turning back to the lists, a frown on her face. "Where is the blonde horror anyway?" she muttered, "I haven't heard any complaints about his behavior, not that I'm complaining."

"I understand Jiraiya recruited him, along with Recca and Domon-kun to retrieve Tsunade." Homura replied, causing his teammate to stare at him in shock, "He seemed quite adamant that he bring Naruto along, I guess he decided to bring the other two with him."

Koharu threw her arms in the air and shook her head, before getting out of her chair and marching off, muttering under her breath about 'perverted brats' and 'corrupting the youth.'

--

Outside Konoha hospital, all was quiet, save for the rustling of leaves and the sound of chirping birds. Not that any of this bothered the slumbering form of Uchiha Sasuke, who had been placed here by a combination of Maito Gai and his Uchiha status bypassing all red tape required to admit him.

A medic team had checked him over, healing his broken wrist and replacing the seal that kept his severed right arm from healing over until it could be re-attached. Sadly, however, they had remained unable to remove the genjutsu set in place by Itachi, which was slowly but surely driving the teen insane.

Sitting at his bedside, Haruno Sakura gripped the sheets between trembling fingers. The pink-haired kunoichi had seen the teen being carried in, along with half the population of Konoha, and had been keeping a silent vigil at his side for hours on end, despite the annoyance of the hospital staff, who told her to find something else to do, like TRAIN. Sakura refused to listen, only leaving when visiting hours were over, and the ANBU arrived to escort her off the premises and ensure she STAYED off them.

'Sasuke-kun,' she thought sadly, eyeing the unconscious avenger desperately as she gripped the hem of her dress, 'What's happening to you?'

--

_Sasuke screamed as he watched on as Itachi murdered his parents, again and again, before his eyes. The Uchiha tried to look away, tried to close his eyes, but the visions followed him, and his eyes refused to close._

"_You're weak," Itachi's echoing voice announced mockingly, "Why're you so weak?" Sasuke screamed as the blood gushed around him like rapids, "Because you lack HATRED."_

_"ITACHI!!" Sasuke roared, flailing around as the image of his brother changed into a flock of Sharingan wielding crows, "I'LL KILL YOU!"_

_The teen's screams echoed around the darkness, as a massive pair of Sharingan eyes loomed overhead._

"_You're weak."_

--

Sakura blinked as Sasuke twitched, eyes trembling slightly, only to remain unconscious, no matter how hard she called out to him. Had she looked a little closer, she'd have noticed the Tenfuuin on the Uchiha's neck flash a dull crimson within the confines of it's seal, as it responded to it's wearers pain and anger.

--

Orochimaru screamed hoarsely, coughing up blood as the pain in his arms reached its zenith, only to dull down again, leaving the injured sennin feeling like he was being flayed alive. There was nothing that Kabuto, who had studied medicine under his adoptive father, the chief of the Konoha medical unit, could do, as it appeared the arms were virtually rotting from the inside as a result of the Sandaime's final jutsu.

'Chakra Leprosy, truly a masterful stroke,' the young medic-nin noted, as the enraged snake sennin murdered his assistant in a pain filled rage, 'Orochimaru-sama's jutsu were his life, without them he's reduced to this.'

He leant against the wall, waiting for the screams to die down as he shook his head in amusement, 'To think the old fossil could be so vindictive,' he muttered, recalling the gentle smile on the Sandaime's weathered features, 'but then again, he was clutching at straws when he couldn't finish the job.'

"You really should take the medicine," he chastised, looking over the bloodstained room in mild indifference, "Oh dear, I get back only to have to clean the room?"

"I don't need your useless drugs," Orochimaru hissed, glaring silent death at the silver haired teen, who responded by pushing up his glasses.

"I mixed that batch myself," Kabuto replied calmly, "at the very least, it should alleviate your pain somewhat."

Orochimaru fell silent, Kabuto taking that as permission to step closer to his master. "I feel like my arms are burning from within," the sennin rasped painfully, eyeing his arms as they lay lifeless across the sheets, covered in bloodstained bandages, "I never expected to be injured this much."

"Well," Kabuto noted, stepping delicately around the corpse on the floor, "They ARE the result of Sandaime Sarutobi's final curse, it stands to reason the pain should be immense."

"Cut the shit," Orochimaru snapped, closing his eyes for a moment, only to eye the teen wearily, "did you…find HER?"

"Hai," Kabuto nodded, face growing serious, as he looked the sennin in the eye "She was last seen hanging round Tanzaku-gai."

"…Tanzaku-gai…" Orochimaru repeated, a weak sneer forming across his pale features, "is that so?"

Kabuto nodded, "However, it most likely wont be easy to capture her." He stated, only for the sennin to snort.

"The best medicine…" Orochimaru noted, hair covering his face like something out of a horror film "Is always the hardest to find, ne?"

Kabuto waited as the sennin continued to breath laboriously, before turning on his heel, "I'll make arrangements for the trip," he conveyed, "Please take the medicine and get your rest."

Orochimaru grimaced, shooting his tongue out to grasp the damnable bottle that sat on his bedside table, swallowing the medication, only to hurl the bottle at the wall in disgust. "BLEAAAGGH!" he spat, retching at the taste, his arms flaring up again not helping the pounding headache the drugs brought on. "Damn you…Sandaime!"

--

Iruka sighed as he looked over the class before him. It was quiet, unusually so considering the fact that almost every student had taken up the 'prank master' challenge and was trying to outdo the others. The worst suspects were the late Sandaime's grandson, his two friends Moegi and Udon, and two new additions called Koganei Kaoru and Morikawa Ganko.

The former was like a monkey on a sugar rush, oddly reminiscent of Recca except a great deal cuter. This had snared him quite a fan club of young female admirers, though he apparently basked in their attention, unlike a certain Uchiha we all know. Ganko was quiet, paying attention in class except for the few minutes before break, where she'd fidget about until the bell went. Iruka discovered she and Moegi had gotten together and formed a small circle of friends who would come up with a variety of games.

'It's good to see kids being kids,' the chunin thought with a smile, 'though sometimes they can get a little out of hand.'

As if to testify to this, a fight had apparently broken out between Kaoru and Konohamaru, the former trying to strangle the latter with his own scarf whilst the latter tried to rip the formers hair out. Iruka, of course, handled the situation with all the calm and experience of his years as an instructor. This basically meant that after traumatizing the brats with his 'giant evil head no jutsu', he had the whole lot running laps, with the two troublemakers wearing weighted shoes.

'This takes me back,' he muttered, recalling how he used to chase Naruto, Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji around the academy, Oni club in hand and breathing hellfire as he tried to teach the delinquents the values of sitting down and keeping your trap shut in class. 'I wonder what happened between those four?' he wondered, recalling how the other three had drifted away from Naruto as they got older, 'They used to be so close, but before they graduated Kiba and the others could have cared less about him.'

Sighing, he turned his attention back to the runners; only to discover the Konohamaru corps had snuck off, taking Kaoru along with them. "All of you, report to the lecture hall for chakra reviews!" he instructed the remaining children, waiting until the last of the innocent were out of range before storming off, an Oni club appearing in his hand from out of thin air.

With a roar of "SPIFLICATION!" the irate chunin stormed into town, heralding doom, destruction, and the mother of all canings if he got his hands on his truant students.

--

Konohamaru shivered, before his eyes widened in horror as the dieing echo of Iruka's war cry reached his ears. The youngest Sarutobi looked around for a hiding place, as his followers gathered around him in fear. "This way!" Kaoru yelled, pointing down an alleyway, the others following suit, just as Iruka stormed past, head enlarged and spitting fire, "Man I've never seen him do that!"

"Stick around," Konohamaru panted, "I heard the only reason he took up teaching was because they couldn't handle him in the ANBU anymore."

"I heard he's doing it as part of his community service." Moegi whimpered, "And that he got it for screwing up a mission by killing everyone."

"I heard he VOLUNTEERED to teach at the academy." Udon muttered, sniffing as his nose continued to run. The others stared at him in horror as they hugged each other in fear.

After all, anyone who voluntarily commits themselves to a life of teaching underage brats how to grow up to kill people for a living obviously needed their head checked.

--

Kukai grimaced as he looked down at the remains of the ritual used to summon the Shodai and Nidaime Hokages during the battle with Orochimaru. 'To use one's own comrades,' he muttered, flinching at the sight of Zaku's corpse, 'and children no less!'

Kukai prayed he never met Orochimaru in person, if he did he feared he could transform into his 'Akuma' state right off the bat.

"Kukai-shihan!" Daikoku called out, catching his leader's attention, "Come see this!"

Kukai looked over, before blinking in surprise as he noticed the figure held in the staff master's arms, trembling from exhaustion and starvation, wrapped in an emergency cloth the man had brought with him. "A survivor?" the merciful assassin wondered, looking the slim figure over carefully, "I thought the ritual required human sacrifices?"

"It does," Minamio replied "according to the ANBU report however, Orochimaru attempted to summon THREE corpses, which leaves me to believe that the third summoning failed."

"Meaning the sacrifice was negated." Kukai muttered, looking over at the trembling form of Tsuchi Kin, naked save for the blanket Daikoku had wrapped around her. "Alert the medical squad, tell them there's a survivor." He eyed the trembling girl carefully, "At the very least, we can evaluate the strength of Otogakure's shinobi forces from her memory."

--

Domon gasped for breath as he watched the mud settle down as his chakra died out. He'd been practicing for several hours now and he was starting to feel the results, namely chakra drain and exhaustion. "I'd better give it a rest," the giant muttered, "If I keep this up I'm sure to collapse."

Gathering his tools about him, the giant checked the area over, before nodding, satisfied he'd left nothing suspicious lying around. "Wonder if there's an all night ramen stand nearby?" he wondered, stomach demanding a sacrifice of foodstuffs; "I could MURDER a good twenty bowls right now!"

Grinning to himself the giant walked off into the night, letting his feet carry him down the streets as he searched for the food of the Gods, unaware of the events that had occurred around him, nor of the developments that were occurring back home.

--

Tsunade grumbled as she stalked out of the pachinko parlor, Shizune at her side, Ton-ton secured in her arms. The blonde sennin had lost, spectacularly, and had gotten into a fight with security as a result. As such she was currently debating whether or not to remain in the area, when a flyer caught her attention.

'Festival?' she wondered, 'All day Sake and pachinko? Gamblers heaven?' she grinned and turned on her heel, dragging a confused Shizune along with her, "Come on! I found a great place to gamble!"

"Tsunade-sama-!" Shizune wept, tears streaming down her face like waterfalls, knowing from experience this wasn't going to end well.

--

Things are picking up back home as well. Will thingsa finally get in gear? Or will Naruto remain stuck on the first stage?

Eva: You really enjoy leading people on don;t you?

Kyugan: (smirks, giving a mock bow) Guilty as charged.

R&R!!

* * *


	33. Chapter 33

Ah, nothing like posting a new chapter at 'holy shit look at the time' in the morning.

Big Boss: You really shouldn't be staying up late...it's bad for your stamina.

Kyugan: Bah, Stamina means nothing to me...or you it would seem, seriously, theres like ten layers of steel between your room and my office and I copuld hear everything.

Big Boss: What can I say, it's a talent.

Kakashi: The...beauty...

Big Boss: (Points patriot ant him) I charge per viewing(Fires the gun) Payment in full

Kakashi: MY...MY BALLZ!

Kyugan: Ha ha...dangly parts.

* * *

Training blues; Earth, Flame and Spiral!

"Where the hell were you last night?" Recca asked, tucking into breakfast, as Domon walked in the door, looking like a buried gorilla.

"Can't say." The giant teen replied, looking haggard as he dug into a bowl of rice that Naruto passed his way. Mastering the jutsu had lasted way longer than he'd thought, and apparently there were no food vendors out that night so he'd had to trudge back home just as the sun was rising. As it was, he was planning to train again after lunch, so the teen decided to get some rest before then.

Jiraiya, mistaking the look of exhaustion on the giant's face, grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Hoh? You snuck out to the red light district without your sensei?" he teased, "Good going lad!"

Jiraiya's cackle was quickly silenced by Domon's fist ramming into the sennin's mouth. "HELL NO!" the giant roared, causing birds to take flight in the distance, "MY BODY BELONGS TO FUKO!"

Naruto sweatdropped and eyed the smoking, twisted heap that was Jiraiya with a sigh, "Could you save pummeling him until AFTER he trains me?" he asked, shooting a meaningful look towards his teammate, who grunted in a non-committal manner.

"Oooooh Tsunade…" Jiraiya tittered, feeling up a pillow in his concussion-induced slumber "Your melons are the best…"

--

Tsunade sneezed, blinking in shock as the dice rolled snake eyes, heralding yet another defeat for the slug sennin. "HEEEEE!" Shizune shrieked, clutching Ton-ton in a death grip, causing the porker to turn blue from lack of oxygen. "And we bet double or nothing!"

"Oi, Nee-chan…" the gambler leered, eyeing the buxom blonde and her assistant in a provocative manner, "Anything else you care to wager, hmm?" He blinked as a distinct Tsunade shaped outline hovered in the air, before fading as the sannin made for the hills, disguised as a three year old, her assistant and pet in tow.

--

Naruto glared at the ball as he felt the water within rotate wildly, 'Come on you rubber bastard!" the teen swore, 'BURST!'

"Problems in paradise?"

Naruto sweatdropped and turned to face a grinning Jiraiya, who was leaning against a tree. "Eh…hi Ero-sennin." He greeted.

Jiraiya twitched at the title and shot his would-be apprentice a glare, "Stop calling me that." He warned, before walking over to the blonde's side, "And just how have things been going?"

Naruto sighed, glaring at the sphere in annoyance, "I keep trying to get the thing to rotate hard enough to pop," he explained, "But all it does is rotate to the left!"

Jiraiya smirked at the teen's frustration, but nodded at how well he'd come along, "You've done well so far," the sennin admitted "especially by being able to tell which way the chakra rotates." He stepped up to the teen and placed his palm on his head for a moment. "As I thought, a right rotation."

Naruto shook the man's hand off and stared at him in confusion, "Uh…didn't I just say it rotates to the left?" he deadpanned.

"The water in the balloon may do so," Jiraiya allotted, "but your inner chakra system regulates your chakra flow in a clockwise manner, i.e. to the right." He nodded at the teen's look of confusion, "In other words, for this lesson to be completed, you must first force the water in the balloon to rotate in the OPPOSITE direction of your own rotation, disrupting the chakra flow since it isn't in harmony with your body."

Naruto frowned, before his eyes widened in understanding, "In other words, I have to force the water to storm about violently in all directions, like in a storm!"

Jiraiya felt an odd feeling of joy at the blonde's revelation, like one receives after watching their grandson say his first dirty word, a feeling of elation and concern; elation that he had figured it out, and concern because it meant he was developing rather fast. "Basically, yeah." He agreed, patting the teen on the head, "All you need to do is bring out the jutsu in you, and on the plus side, there's no need to memorize any complicated seals."

Naruto grinned and punched the air in determination, "Right! I'll have completely mastered this jutsu in three days!" he yelled, pausing at the look on his sensei's face.

"This jutsu," Jiraiya explained solemnly, "is one the Yondaime left behind." Naruto winced at the mention of the fourth Hokage, but looked up as Jiraiya raised three fingers into the air. "The Yondaime was only able to perfect this jutsu after three years of trial and error," the sennin explained, "In appreciation of his efforts, this was regarded as an A-class high level jutsu." He shot the shocked blonde a serious look, "In order to properly comprehend this jutsu, you need to be at the third level of control," he nodded at the sphere in the teen's hands, "This is only the first."

Naruto stared at the man, thunderstruck, before staring down at the balloon in his hands. 'It took even the Yondaime three years to master this technique.' He muttered, still bitter at the man's actions but nonetheless enawed at his prowess, 'And he was already Hokage by that point too…or at least well on the way.'

"Explaining how to master the stages of the jutsu is pointless," Jiraiya stated "You need to figure it out for yourself or you'll never learn a thing." He turned on his heel and nodded, "I'm heading off to gather information, you keep at it, 'kay?"

When no reply came, the sennin looked back to see the blonde staring intently at the sphere. "Naruto?" he called out, causing the blonde to smile up at him. "Go on Ero-sennin," the blonde urged the man, "I'm sure you'd rather be flirting that teaching me anyways."

Jiraiya was surprised to discover that, for once in his life, this actually WASN'T the case, but far be it for him to look a gift horse in the mouth. And so he made for the local bars and gambling halls, his mind reeling with new ideas on how to train the teen.

--

Recca sat before Koku in the barren desert that served as his mindscape. The teen had chosen to prevent the old geezer from spying on the beauties at the onsen again and demanded he perform the lessons in here.

"On the subject we discussed earlier." Koku began, "Incorporating a soul into your inner flame is not as easy as it sounds, it requires a degree of control that few dare to learn." He held up a finger, "For example, Kurei was already well versed in the power of his flame prior to Kurenai's death, as such, his desire to keep her with him probably gave him he extra boost needed to make her dwindling flame a part of his own."

Recca scowled at the man, "What about Jisho?" he pointed out, "Kurei was nowhere near him when Magensha blasted him!"

"It matters not that you are present for their death." Koku countered, "A soul will linger about their body for a day at most, unless some unfinished business keeps them from moving on," he pushed his sunglasses up, "In either case, Kurei was able to add Jisho to his flame because Jisho's soul lingered in this world."

Recca shivered at the thought, before shaking it off and eyeing the elderly Karyuu carefully, "So how exactly does one incorporate a soul into the inner flame?" he asked.

Koku nodded and waved his hand, pulling a scroll out of mid-air. "The Hokage first discovered the technique when an enjutsu-shi, saddened by the death of one he loved, used his flame to cremate the corpse until nothing remained, not even ash. To his shock, his flame changed to take on the shape of the deceased, and grew stronger as a result."

The Karyuu shot his student a look, "But do not assume that it is a PERMANENT change," he warned, "With the exception of the Karyuu, who are, in essence, the SOURCE of your flame, all other mortal flames can be released from your own should you deem it so." The old man sighed and looked up at the sky, "Some may ask it of you in dreams, others may have served their usefulness and thus suit no more purpose." He looked at the teen, "Regardless, once they have been released from your flame, they will pass on to go to either eternal rest or damnation, depending on their past sins."

Recca shivered, before looking at the scroll, "So what am I supposed to do with this?" he asked, earning a nod from Koku.

"That scroll is the complete documentation of the Hokage enjutsu-shi who have seen fit to incorporate the flames of others into their own." He explained, "Read it, memorize it, and learn from their words." He ordered, walking off into the dunes, "More than that…is up to you."

And with that he left the teen, disappearing in a burst of flames.

--

Domon grunted as he leapt back, flipping through the seals as his kage bunshin charged towards him. "Doton: Doryuu Taiga!" he called out, making the final seal just as a river of mud formed under the clone, tripping it up and sending it backwards to slam into a boulder.

"Finally got it down," the giant muttered, pausing for a breath as he pulled the scroll out and read over it, "Lessee here…the next one looks interesting, 'Doton: Doryuudan; launches mud missiles at the enemy.'" He grimaced as he noticed that there weren't that many earth jutsu remaining on the list, seeing as he already mastered the Shinjuu Zanshu.

"Everything after this is Katon and Fuuin Jutsu," he muttered, blinking as he noticed something near the end, "Shiki Fuuin?" he wondered aloud, "Sounds kinda cool…"

--

Jiraiya stared blankly into his sake bottle, having forgone the cup in favor of cutting out the middleman, a habit he'd picked up from his teammate, who he had yet to find a trace of.

The bear of a man had entered the bar with every intention of carrying on as normal, appearing to be a big drunken pervert whilst coveting any clues and guilty feels he could manage. It was a long tested method that never failed unless he bumped into someone he knew, owed money to or felt up, and normally would last him the whole night, even if he didn't find what he was looking for. But now he was staring silently into the same bottle, having only taken one sip the entire time.

The reason for his unusual bout of sobriety was a certain blonde hell-raiser he'd taken under his wing. Never had the sennin seen potential of that kind since he'd seen Arashi leave to battle the Kyuubi, never had he been subjected to such a harsh tongue since Kushina had disappeared prior to the attack. And never had the toad sennin encountered such grim determination to succeed since he vowed to surpass Orochimaru, years ago when they were still but mere genin, ignorant of the roles that lay ahead of them.

'Baka-hebi.' He muttered, taking a sip from the bottle, 'Never did know how his mind worked back then.'

While it was true Jiraiya and Orochimaru hadn't exactly been close, akin to a certain blonde and Uchiha if you were to make comparisons, there had existed a level of trust between them that enabled them to entrust their backs to one another. Many a time on a mission had Orochimaru pulled Jiraiya's ass out of the danger zone, only for the man to return the favor later along the line.

As things currently stood, Jiraiya still owed Orochimaru one before they could be quits, not that he ever told it to anyone.

"Looking for some company?" a sultry voice asked at his side. The perverted sennin turned slightly to take in one of the bar's trademark 'gold-diggers', flattering smile in place as she sized him up.

"Perhaps," he admitted, ruffling in his robe for a picture, "Think you could help me out?" The woman smiled and sat on the stool next to him, blinking as a photo was shoved under her nose. "I'm looking for this woman." Jiraiya muttered, "though I can't see why, she's got nothing on you."

The woman flushed and batted his hand, "OH really now!"

'Hook line and sinker.' Jiraiya deadpanned, though on the outside he was grinning like a fool, 'Tsunade, you better not have gotten yourself killed, or I'm gonna be REALLY annoyed.'

--

The slug sennin sneezed and looked around the pachinko hall, wondering what was going on, before shrugging it off and pulling the lever down. 'This time for sure!' she predicted, only to slump as the machine mocked her futile efforts.

Shizune sighed and hugged Ton-ton tighter, knowing it was going to take a while before the sennin got the message and gave up.

--

Domon grimaced as he sat down, having forgone looking over the rest of the jutsu list until he'd mastered the basic Doton skills. As it were, he'd been training with the Doryuudan, but was having trouble getting it down right, the last endeavor successfully summoning the mud dragon, only to have it attack HIM.

'Damn,' he cursed, watching as the mud settled down as he gripped his shoulder, 'even a glancing blow feels like it could take my arm off.' He raised his arm and winced at the massive bite that ran up the side, 'good thing I packed some of that healing balm Hinata made for the shrimp.'

He sighed, pulling the small tub out and rubbing a healthy dose on his arm, sighing again at the faint sizzling noise as it got to work patching up his abused hide. 'Man, Hinata must have put some of her chakra into this stuff!' He muttered appreciatively, 'Ain't never seen a wound heal that fast 'cept for whenever Yanagi healed us.' He snorted, 'Not that musing over chakra's gonna figure out how ta beat this.'

Domon just knew that he was getting nowhere fast. The number of Earth jutsu with the leaf were sadly limited, and even the Sandaime, infamous for mastering all jutsu within Konoha, had few in his arsenal.

'My best bet would be to ambush some Iwa-nin and hope they're dumb enough to carry a scroll around.' He muttered, shaking his head ruefully, 'Like that's gonna happen, Iwa-nin don't just appear out of thin-!'

He paused, a memory at the back of his skull climbing to the fore and doing as jig as he recalled the encounter at the brothel. 'That guy was supposed to be a chunin right?' he wondered, getting to his feet, 'And he was really weak too!' Grinning ferally, the giant gripped his sword and dashed off, eager to put his theory to the test.

--

Akoki muttered as he sat at a bar, drinking sake as he brooded. Ever since the day he'd been sent flying like a kite in a storm, the townsfolk had been sending him looks of amusement. Where once people had looked at him in concern and fear there was only laughter and mockery.

'All because of those brats and that old fart!' the former chunin cursed, gripping his glass tightly, 'Dammit! Who were those bastards!'

"Oi, aniki!" his bald compatriot called out, pointing across the bar to a figure leaning against the wall, "There's that old fart!"

Akoki glared at the figure of Jiraiya as he smirked at him, before turning on his heel and marching out the door. 'Bastard!' he swore, getting to his feet, 'You're not getting away this time!'

The two former chunin charged out of the bar, only to blink in confusion at the deserted alleyway before them. "Where'd he go?" the Akoki muttered, only to jump as his companion let out a choking noise, spinning round only for a blade to pin him to the wall.

"Nice night, ain't it?" Domon greeted, dispelling the henge right in front of the former chunin. He held Kubikiri Houcho in one hand, the bald thug's neck secured in the hole in the blade as he placed the arch over Akoki's throat. "You guys are former Iwagakure shinobi right? That means you must have a few Doton Scrolls on you."

Akoki stared into the grinning face of the giant genin, noting the light of insanity in his eyes as he leaned closer. The former chunin had never felt so outright terrified in his life, not even when the traitor Deidara had threatened to blast off his balls all those years ago.

"Whadd'ya say?" Domon offered, pressing the edge forward ever so slightly, "your jutsu, or your life?"

Akoki shivered, a wet patch growing on his designer pants as he tried to nod without severing his own jugular.

--

'Too easy,' Domon muttered in disgust, leaving the unconscious duo tied to a post, unconscious and humiliated, 'I almost feel bad picking on weaklings like that, makes me look like the bad guy.' Shrugging it off, he opened the scroll Akoki had on his person and raised an eyebrow, 'Keisaigakure no jutsu…Doton: Iwa Yado Kuzushi…Doton: Retsudo Tenshou…Doton: Doryuu Jouheki…' he whistled appreciatively, before shutting the scroll with a snap, 'That should keep me tiding over for a while!'

--

Jiraiya stumbled back into the hotel room, reeking of booze and cheap perfume. His search had turned up empty, the woman not caring to go beyond her petty jealousy for his teammate's assets. 'Not that I blame her.' Jiraiya noted with a giggle, 'Tsunade's got more than her fair share going in THAT area at least.'

Grunting tiredly he decided it would be better to sleep off the booze than go out looking for the trio at the moment, and so he changed into his sleeping attire, climbed into a futon and promptly fell asleep, plotting the course of the next day, whilst deviantly putting his alcohol induced brain cells to work writing up the next installment for Icha-Icha.

_'Lessee…the weary sage continued his quest for the princess, aided by a demon, a fox and a dragon…'_

--

Across the town, the trio simultaneously sneezed, looking round in confusion, before promptly turning back to the tasks at hand.

Recca, for example, was nose deep in the scroll Koku had left him, memorizing every detail of his ancestors' lives, from those who mourned their friends, to those who incorporated them into their own flames.

Domon grit his teeth as he focused on channeling his chakra, the earth trembling as he readied himself for the worst.

Naruto clamped his hands over the ball and scowled, trying to visualize the chakra dancing around wildly, like a miniature storm.

All three, even though they were nowhere near each other, held the same thought in mind.

'I WILL succeed!'

--

Kenshin sighed as he approached his favorite hill, hoping to spend sometime meditating in the calm before returning home to do the laundry at the dojo. 'Kaoru-dono seems most testy lately,' he noted, wincing at the Katsujin-ken shihan's temper, 'but then, she wouldn't be Kaoru-dono if she wasn't.'

He blinked as he reached the outskirts of the town, looking around as he felt the earth rumble. 'Is there something coming?' he wondered, reaching for his sakabatou, 'No, only a stampede could cause this, but the woodland is too dense to permit such a charge…'

Deciding to investigate, he followed the echo to the source, blinking at the sight that lay before him. 'What…what on earth?' he wondered, blinking as he noticed the massive footprints in the earth, 'Whoever caused this…did so recently…' He stared across the barren earth that had once been a forest, the trees pushed aside to form a massive earthen wall, which had apparently been demolished, leaving rubble strewn all over the area.

'Such power,' he wondered, 'I know of no weapon available to man that could have ravaged the earth is such a manner.' He eyed the surroundings warily, wondering if the user was still nearby, 'No…this is not the act of a weapon…it would appear as if the earth itself rose up on it's own.'

His eyes caught the telltale signs of footprints, causing him to blink in confusion, 'Such large feet,' he noted, 'could he have witnessed this? Or was he the cause?'

--

Recca rolled up the scroll and sighed, before looking straight ahead at the desert beyond him. "You got something to say?" he asked, not looking behind him.

"Perhaps." Resshin allotted, hovering behind the teen in his monstrous Karyuu form, the soulless empty eyes staring down at the young enjutsu-shi. "Are you willing to listen?"

Recca shrugged, getting to his feet and popping his back into place, "Not really, but seeing as you're here and all, humor me."

The giant dragon snorted, lowering its head to look at his 'landlord', "That sassy mouth of yours is going to get you killed one of these days." He opined.

"Maybe so," Recca agreed cheekily, "But it'd be a waste to not sass people if they give you enough opportunity."

"Regardless." Resshin cut in, "I would hear your answer to the lesson."

Recca's eyes lost their cheerful look as he scowled, and for a moment, Resshin believed that the enjutsu-shi was going to be stubborn again, failing the lesson, but then he sighed and scratched his head, looking up at the Karyuu. "I can't really see myself using the flame on anyone." Recca admitted solemnly, "But I have to admit…if someone asked me to…or if I really felt the need to…" he clenched his fist and looked at it, "I'd want to keep them with me."

He looked up at Resshin and nodded, "So my answer is: I may not like it, but its part of what I am." He grinned and thumbed at himself "I'm Hanabishi Recca, leader of the Hokage ninja clan, I can't be afraid of my own flame!"

Resshin loomed over the teen, and for a moment, Recca feared he might have insulted the Karyuu in some way. Then Resshin seemed to smirk, fangs visible as he shook his head. "A good answer," the leader of the Hachiryuu conceded, "and with it you have earned my respect."

Recca winced as a familiar burning sensation crept up his arm, as he stared in shock at the eighth tattoo that appeared below Koku's. "Resshin," he muttered, looking up at the dragon as if in a daze, "you're…giving me your strength?"

Resshin didn't move but Recca could have sworn he saw the ghost of a smile in those pupil-less eyes, "I foresee many challenges ahead," the dragon replied cryptically, "I only hope when it comes time to use my power…you will do so wisely."

And with that, the sand swept up, causing Recca to shield his eyes; when he opened them again, it was to find himself back in the real world.

--

"Yo, Hanabishi." Domon greeted as his rival and friend stumbled into the room, "You look wasted."

"Look who's talking." Recca countered, taking in the giant's battered expression, "Looks like you got mangled a bit yourself."

Domon shrugged, wincing as he patted the dust from himself, before scowling at the snoring form of Jiraiya. "Ero-sennin's been acting weird since I got back," he muttered, "Keeps giggling in his sleep and drooling on the pillows…gives me the creeps."

Recca shivered as he eyed the perverse grin on the sennin's face, "What else is new?" he muttered, "Every sensei we meet happens to be a pervert, and this guy's the source of those damn Hentai novels." He cast the giant a deadpan look, "you could say he's the source of pervertism."

"Hope it's not catching." A tired voice called out, causing the two to snap their heads towards the door, which closed behind an exhausted looking Naruto, "Yo."

"Where you been squirt?" Domon asked concernedly, noting the teen's apparent hunger and trembling hand.

"Training." Naruto replied, "trying to master the first stage of the Yondaime's jutsu."

Recca's eyebrow rose as he shot the blonde a look, "That jutsu's one of the Yondaime's?" he asked, "And here I was wondering if the guy did anything other than screw with your life."

Naruto snorted, though he made no attempt to further the conversation. During his training he came to accept the fact that the yondaime either simply hadn't KNOWN he was the Kyuubi's son, or that there had been no other choice but to use him. If anything the sandaime had said about the man was true, he was far too noble to ask a family to submit their child to the pain of being a jinchuuriki, and so the option remained to use an orphan, and hope for the best.

Didn't stop the blonde from disliking the man, no sir, but he could at least relate to his position.

A particularly disgusting snort from Jiraiya caught the trio's attention, as they shot him identical looks of disgust. "He reeks of booze too." Domon noted, waving a hand in front of his face, "Had to open the windows when I came in, couldn't wake him up to take a shower." He blinked as Naruto grinned in a distinctly vulpine manner, pulling out a water balloon and walking forwards.

--

_The wise sage and his companions, after many hardships and trials, had finally located the princess. The sage, having single-handedly rescued her from the clutches of a greedy moneylender, was preparing to get down to some kinky monkey sex when all of a sudden…!_

Jiraiya let out a yell as he was drenched in water, bolting upright and shaking it out of his mouth and nose in shock. "What the hell?!" he choked, before looking round to stare at the blonde, grinning figure that was holding up a wet palm from which dangled the remains of a water balloon.

"First stage mastered." Naruto boasted, dropping the remains of the balloon with a smirk, "Ready for the next, Ero-sennin?"

--

And Naruto makies good use of his training.

Will things get better? or will they get worse?

Kakashi: Ballz...river...of blood...

Kyugan: Ah shite...it's all over the floor (turns head) VAMP!

Vamp: (Twirls in like a vampire ballerina) You called Kyu?

Kyugan: don;t call me that (Nods to the pile) clean that up, and be quick about it.

Vamp: But of course (leers at Kakashi) Haaaaaaaaaaaaah...!

Kakashi: ...whimper...

R&R!!

* * *


	34. Chapter 34

ah, 'holy shite look at the time' in the morning...nothing beats it.

Slurp.

I mean, it really gives you an outlook on life.

Slurrrrpupupupslurrrrp!

Kyugan: Dammit Vamp! I said clean up not eat up!

Vamp: Sorry boss (slurp) but vaste not vant not.

Kyugan: Did you have to start at the crotch? Not that I'm complaining but...(shudder) never mind, roll camera.

Vamp: These meatballs are exquisite...haaaaaaahh!

Kakashi: #!!

* * *

Second stage; On the trail of the slug princess!

Jiraiya stared across the table at his blonde apprentice in wonder, torn between pride and disbelief. He had never expected the teen to master the first stage within such a short field of time, it took Arashi weeks after figuring out the process before he could get it to work right, and that was only after making careful notes on his chakra's rotational rate. Even Kushina, who normally snapped things up quickly, hadn't managed to complete the first stage of the rasengan training.

'Yet here her son is after taking only a single day!' the sennin marveled, 'He may be just what Konoha has been looking for.'

Naruto let out a yelp as his fingers twitched, causing him to drop his chopsticks in mid battle, allowing Domon to seize the last sardine. Jiraiya winced in sympathy, knowing it was a result of the chakra the boy had channeled the previous day. 'His circulatory system isn't used to channeling so much chakra at one time.' The sennin deduced 'But this pain…is nothing compared to that he'll experience during step two.'

Shaking his head he motioned for Recca to pass the soy sauce, blinking as he noticed that half the food was gone while he'd been contemplating. "OI! SAVE SOME FOR ME YOU BAKAS!" the sennin roared, lunging into the fray and beginning a duel with his students over the last piece of rice in the pot.

--

"Now that you've mastered the first stage," Jiraiya instructed to an eager Naruto, "It's time to move on to step two."

Naruto grinned, before Jiraiya tossed a rubber ball his way. The blonde caught the sphere with a look of confusion, shaking it slightly against her ear. "It's empty," he noted, "there's no water in here."

Jiraiya nodded, arms crossed, before holding up an identical sphere in his right hand for the blonde to see, "For this exercise, you must burst this ball," he proceeded to do so, causing a small gust of wind to erupt from the destroyed sphere, "this exercise is 100 times harder than the water balloon stage."

Naruto frowned, before focusing on the sphere, trying to force the chakra about like a hurricane as before, only to blink as he realized he couldn't feel the rotation like he'd been able to before. "Without the water I can't tell how the Chakra's flowing," he realized, "And without that, I can't tell how much power is needed to burst the damn thing."

Jiraiya wondered if he'd died and gone to heaven. After all the idiotic, hyperactive, overall dunderheaded brats that had thrown themselves at him for training, he finally had one that could take jutsu apart carefully and analytically.

'And he isn't a stick in the mud like Kakashi, or an emo like those bastard Uchiha!' the sennin praised, smiling down at the brat as he eyed the sphere from different angles, 'This one knows how to have fun! And he's possesses the inner-pervert!' Jiraiya giggled in glee at the thought of having not one, but THREE partners in perversion on his team. 'They may hide it well, but by the time I'm done with them they'll be bringing in the research material for me!'

"Ero-sennin," Naruto deadpanned, eyeing Jiraiya's quivering form as he trembled in silent delight, "do you know how disturbing you look right now?"

Jiraiya shook himself, before patting the blonde on the head, "Anyway, just try to focus on pumping out the chakra," he instructed, "In the meantime, I'm gonna keep looking for Tsunade."

Naruto nodded, before turning his attention back to the sphere in his hands, frowning in concentration. He grimaced as the infernal sphere refused to burst, no matter how hard he focused. The teen's eyes were flashing between red and blue in their ire, his canines sharpenning as his irritation grew. Several hours later he slammed the sphere into the ground, cursing his head off like a veteran sailor.

"There's gotta be some sortta trick to this!" He swore, wincing as his hands throbbed, chakra coils protesting at the sheer amount of chakra they'd been forced to channel. He'd actually had to switch hands several times, only for both to end up screaming at him.

'This really is 100 ntimes worse than the waterballoon,' Naruto muttered, wincing from the pain, 'I'm wasting chakra just trying to get it to spin.' He eyed his trembling palms, wincing at the pins-and-needles dancing through them, 'Feels like my hands are composed of raw nerves,' he noted, 'the more chakra I push through them the owrse the pain gets.'

He froze suddenly, an idea forming in his head, before grinning ferally. "Man, I've been getting WAY too soft." He mocked, picking up the sphere and gritting his teeth, "Pain's no stranger to me…we just haven't been on real speaking terms since Recca-nii and Domon showed up."

He focused on the sphere, gripping it tightly as he prepared to gather his chakra. 'The pain lets me know how much chakra is being pumped out, more pain means more chakra.' He gritt his teeth as the pain continued to grow, placing a second hand on top of the sphere to steady it, 'More chakra means more power, which means the more chakra I pump into this, the greater the rotational damage!'

Gritting his teeth, the blonde envisioned the wildly rotating chakra dancing about like an enraged typhoon, the sphere in his hands bulging at certain parts, only for burst at the side and deflate. 'Dammit!' the blonde thought weakly, dropping the flattened sphere in disgust, it's like I'm missing something!' He gripped his head in his ands and growned, 'Dammit! I gotta focus!'

--

Jiraiya watched from behind a tree as the blonde proceeded to rip his hair out, before stomping over to a small pond and, to his surprise, walked onto it with his palms pressed together, eyes closed.

'That looks like the meditation techniques used by kirigakure ANBU to prepare themselves for battle.' The sennin noted, 'I wonder where he learned that from?' He shook himself and eyed the deflated rubber ball with pride, 'Ah well, at least he's not flying off the handle…I wonder how the other two are doing?'

--

Domon exhaled slowly, before flipping through the seals again, slamming his hands into the ground. 'Doton!' He muttered, 'Retsudo Tenshou!'

The earth trembled, a small artificial hillock collapsing inwards as he focused his chakra through it like small tremors. 'Not bad,' the giant muttered, getting to his feet, 'But still pretty useless, it only really works if I can trap my opponent in a dome of earth.'

He opened the scroll he swiped from Akoki, flipping through it until something caught his eye. 'Doton: Doroutomu…sounds like a variation on Zabuza-no-yatsu's Suirou no jutsu.' He blinked as he noted the footnotes Akoki had mentioned, 'Can siphon off the enemy's chakra? Sounds pretty darn useful to me!'

Grinning, the giant read over the necessary seals, before summoning a few kage bunshin, flipping through the seals with an eager look on his face as they charged him.

"Doton: Doroutomu!"

--

"You wanted to talk to me?" Recca called out, looking up at the Karyuu from within his desert mindscape. The Karyuu were all there, including Setsuna, though the permanently insane dragon was being watched over by Resshin.

"Yes," Koku agreed, transforming into his human persona so as to appear less intimidating, "We wish to discuss something that Kyuubi-dono has brought to our attention."

"Kyuubi?" Recca repeated, having not thought about the fox for some time now, "Naruto's old man?"

Koku nodded, hands behind his back, "He is concerned that Naruto's otherwise human body would be unable to wield the full power of his demonic blood, there have been cases in the past of high level demons such as himself spawning half-breed children, all of whom have been corrupted by the demonic influence of their blood."

Recca shivered as the old man's eyes locked onto his with a seriousness he hadn't seen outside of battle, "He is worried that Naruto, who is absorbing his pure-blooded demonic chakra, will eventually snap and go into a berserker rage, killing all in his path."

"Then what are we gonna do?!" the enjutsu-shi yelled, "Naruto's worked so damn hard to prove he isn't a monster! We can't just let him become one when he's gotten so far!"

"And we won't." Resshin cut in, silencing the teen with his words, "By accepting him into the Hokage clan, he has become our responsibility, and we will not allow such a bright flame to be extinguished by madness."

"For that reason," Koku muttered, "I have decided to 'come out of retirement' as they say." He looked the confused teen in the eye and smiled "Come Recca, surely you wondered why I was so well informed concerning the abilities of the Hokage Madogu?"

Recca's eyes widened as the last piece of the puzzle that had bothered him for so long finally fell into place. "Koku Oyaji," he stated, eyeing the smiling face of the old Shinobi in wonder, "You…built the madogu?"

"Half of them," Koku admitted, "Those that were pure in essence, such as Fujin and Ensui, even the ring of Dosei and Kogon Ankin, all those were designed by myself with the purpose of protecting my clan and those I loved." He sighed, looking up at the star-lit sky with a far-away look in his eye, "So many madogu…I almost forget them all." He looked up at his landlord and snorted, "But that is in the past, in order to ensure that Naruto-kun can control his abilities, Kyuubi-dono has asked me to fashion a NEW madogu specifically for him."

"For this, Koku needs Naruto to be made aware of the situation," Resshin instructed, "And while he could always leave your body to do so, the process of constructing the Madogu takes time and effort, time we cannot afford to waste if we are to complete it as soon as possible."

"So basically," Recca cut in, "you want me to prep Naruto while you go around getting ready." As the Karyuu nodded he snorted, "Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"Impudent brat," Resshin muttered, though Koku caught the knowing smile in his fellow Karyuu's eyes.

--

"Eh?" Naruto wondered, staring at the swirl Jiraiya had placed on his palm in outright confusion, "How the hell's a comma supposed to help me master the second stage?"

'Impatient little brat,' the sennin muttered, recalling a certain redhead kunoichi with a similar mentality, before holding up his palm, revealing a similar mark. "Allow me to explain," he offered, as the blonde eyed him carefully, pulling out a sheet of paper, "Look at this paper," the sennin instructed, holding it up for the teen to see.

Naruto did as instructed, wondering what on earth the sennin was going on about, only for the man to use a pen to write something on the back.

"Now look at this one," Jiraiya instructed, flipping the sheet around to reveal an identical swirl mark on the back. He waited until Naruto frowned at the swirl in confusion before continuing. "It may not seem important, but the way you regard the two sheets is the point I'm trying to make." He flipped the sheet over to the bare side, "When the page is bare, you let your eyes roam over it, right?"

Naruto blinked, insight dawning on his features as the sennin flipped the sheet over again. "But when I showed you the side with a dot," Jiraiya continued, "you focused entirely on that point didn't you?"

Naruto nodded, staring at the matching swirl on his palm in understanding. "Focusing on a point," he muttered, "centering yourself so as to perform at your peak."

Jiraiya smirked down at the lad as he analyzed the hint and drew out the necessary answers. "Exactly that," he encouraged "when you made that hole in the ball I know you were concentrating real hard on pushing the very limit of chakra you could stand into your palm."

Naruto winced as he recalled the near blinding pain, only his rapid regeneration allowing him to heal enough to deaden it. "I'm guessing this mark is supposed to help me concentrate?" he asked, earning a nod from Jiraiya.

"From now on," the sennin instructed, "Whenever you channel chakra into your palm, you must focus it on that mark on your hand."

Naruto gazed down at the swirl, before clenching his fist and grinning, "YOSHA! Lets do this!"

"Right then," Jiraiya laughed, turning on his heel with a smile and dusting off his hands "I'm going back to gathering info on Tsunade's whereabouts."

"What's up?" Naruto called out, picking up a ball and grinning, "No last minute words of inspiration for your disciple?"

He hurled the ball at the sennin's head, only for Jiraiya to whip round and catch the ball in his teeth with a grin and a drawn out cry of "STRI-KE!"

"You're a thousand years to young to catch me off-guard like that," the sage mocked, spitting out the ball and tossing it at the teen, "See ya around gaki!"

Naruto snorted and turned back to his training, earning a small smirk from the sennin. 'Words of inspiration?' Jiraiya muttered mockingly 'You don't need them kid, you already have the potential to surpass the yondaime as the fourth master of this Jutsu…good luck.'

--

"How is she?" Kukai wondered, looking through the window where the slumbering form of Tsuchi Kin lay in a hospital bed, marginally better than when she was found.

"She's stable," the medic in charge replied, "She was suffering from severe chakra deprivation and starvation. We treated her for exposure and discovered several unnatural substances in her bloodstream, presumably part of the summoning ritual Orochimaru used to revive Shodai-sama and Nidaime-sama."

Kukai nodded, looking over as the girl rested peacefully, an IV-drip providing a special solution that would ensure she received proper nutrients and chakra while she recovered.

"She's too weak for the ANBU to attempt any interrogation methods." The medic relayed, "Even Ibiki-san has refused to see her until she has recovered completely."

"A cruel kindness," the merciful assassin noted wryly, "allowing her time to recover before tearing her apart from within."

The medic chuckled weakly, pushing up his glasses nervously, "We shall keep you posted on her condition," he assured the man "also, it seems two members of your cell are up for promotion."

"I heard." Kukai admitted, a light of pride entering his eyes "Now if only I could get the others going as well I'd feel a lot more secure."

--

Naruto panted, glaring at the sphere bitterly as it lay before him, the teen having dropped to his knees from the pain. Every time he focused on the swirl the pain only seemed to sharpen, like something were drilling into his palm. 'Gotta focus he muttered,' grabbing the offending ball and climbing to his feet, 'focus on the mark.'

He closed his eyes letting everything go calm, before focusing on his chakra. Everything seemed to go white, as usually happened in such mental states, only for a speck to appear on the horizon. It grew rapidly, revealing itself to be Jiraiya's face, a ball clenched between his teeth as he leered at the teen.

'STRI-KE!'

The blonde shivered, doubling over in an attempt to force the laughter down, only to fail spectacularly and start rolling on the ground, clutching his stomach. "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" he cackled, tears streaming down his face as the image refused to disappear, being joined by Domon, Shigeo and for some reason, Gai, all of them repeating the same word over and over. "How the hell am I supposed to concentrate with those idiots in my head?!" the teen wondered between gasps for air, before laughing again as the quartet of images continued their tirade, dancing a line to dixie.

--

Meanwhile, in a bar he hadn't examined yet, Jiraiya seemed ready to accept the fact that Tsunade hadn't been in the town when someone caught his attention. "I saw her," a man in a gamblers gi commented, smiling as he held up a glass suggestively, "I even know where she went too."

"The next rounds on me," Jiraiya replied, smirking at the man, glad to finally be making some headway. He gestured for the bartender for a bottle of prime sake, pouring some into the man and his companion's glasses.

"Ha! Alright," the gambler muttered, a smile on his face as he savoured the sake before him "I earned quite a sum off of that lady after all."

'She's STILL losing?' Jiraiya deadpanned, imagining all too well the embarrassed scowl on Tsunade's face as her assistant, Shizune was it, cowered in the background as money fell around them, 'Same old Tsunade…'

"The densetzu no Kamo, " the gambler noted, catching Jiraiya's attention again, raising his sake cup with a grin "I hear she's at it again."

"Where?" Jiraiya prodded, pouring the man another shot of Sake to sweeten the deal, leaning forwards in eagerness as he finished the cup.

"Tanzaku-gai," the gambler replied, taking a gulp of the sake as the sennin whistled appreciatively "And I wish them all the luck I've had."

"Hoh? Not too far from here." Jiraiya noted, marveling at how close Tsunade had been all this time, "Thanks for the intel, let me buy you another round as thanks."

--

Orochimaru chuckled weakly as he marched up the steps of his hideout, dressed in his best traveling kimono. It may seem like a daft thing to do, considering the fact his arms were bleeding through their wrappings, but the hebi sennin placed a high value on appearance, and going off to see a woman of Tsunade's caliber, even if she WAS an 'old friend', required a little sprucing up before hand.

"Finally," he rasped out, trembling due a combination of eagerness, pain and a high fever "my arms will finally be healed."

Kabuto eyed his master warily, pushing down a surge of jealousy at the man's seeking out another person's medical skills, even if that person WAS the legendary Tsunade-Hime. "Even if we are talking about a cure," he pointed out, following the sennin up the steps "she'll likely be more than bitter handing it over."

Orochimaru snorted, not deigning to look at the teen as he continued forwards, "Are you coming to Tanzaku-gai with me or not?" he rasped, earning a grunt from the medic as he sped up to match the sennin's pace, face decidedly neutral despite the aura of jealousy.

--

Tsunade stared at the slot machine in disbelief, as it hailed her as a winner, courtesy of a row of sevens. Whilst Shizune cheered in the background, the female sennin stared at the machine suspiciously, particularly the frog, snake and slug that were aligned above the winning number.

'How could I get triple sevens?' she wondered, wincing as she realized how it brought to mind Jiraiya's claim all those years ago, 'I have a bad feeling about this.' She muttered, though it didn't stop her from scooping up her winnings and marching over to the till to cash them out.

Shizune, unable to comprehend the look on her master's face, followed her as she rushed out of the pachinko parlor, looking like she was expecting an ambush. "What's wrong Tsunade-sama?" the medic-nin queried, holding up their supplies and winnings in a bag, Ton-ton at her feet, "You actually won! You should be pleased!"

Tsunade eyed her attendant carefully, before turning on her heel, "I've got a bad feeling about this town," she muttered, "Let's get outta here fast."

"Eh?" Shizune whined, looking confused and distraught at having to cut and run so soon "But it's a tourist attraction! I wanted to see the castle and-!"

"Then lets get it over with!" the sennin snapped, looking harried as she kept an eye out for trouble. She wasn't one to believe one word that came out of Jiraiya's mouth, but her white-haired teammate had a nasty habit of being right half the time. 'And those symbols,' she muttered, recalling the lineup on the slot reels, 'there's no way that was a coincidence, something's happening that concerns the Sannin.'

--

Not far from Tanzaku-gai, Orochimaru and Kabuto were moving at a leisurely pace through the woodlands. The trip so far had been silent, the local wildlife having been outright terrified of the serpent's approach, and with the exception of a chance meeting with some insignificant bandits, which Kabuto had dispatched with ease, the journey had been uneventful.

"I know a little bit about Tsunade-sama," the silver haired medic commented, trying to break the silence, "I was a member of Konoha's medical corps at one point."

Orochimaru grunted, a sign that he was paying attention, though he didn't look at the teen.

"She was the first to propose the inclusion of a medical specialist in basic four-man cells," Kabuto noted "something which is taken for granted nowadays, but during the war was regarded as a ground breaking notion." He shrugged, shaking his head in bemusement, "Even though it was pretty obvious what happens to basic fighting units without emergency medical knowledge on the battlefield."

Orochimaru scoffed, a sneer forming on his sickly features, "It was pure and simple war experience that laid the groundwork for her proposal." He noted, the sneer growing as he leered ahead, "The sacrifice…of so many lives." He chuckled to himself, earning a look of interest from his servant, "Human nature proves that people only realize the true value of something when they've lost it." The sennin noted, a grim smirk on his face, "And what brought about a member of the prodigal sannin becoming a medial specialist…"

They passed under a massive spider web, where several butterflies feebly attempted to escape the glistening threads.

"…Was the simple desire to avoid more loss of life…"

Kabuto eyed his master carefully as he smirked, before turning his gaze forward again. 'He certainly is a twisted one,' the teen noted, 'but then again, dredging up the past DOES make him irritable.'

--

Naruto panted, trying to lessen the pain in his arm as he bit down on his lip. Focusing the chakra into the swirl only made things painful, but he could tell that he was slowly but surely getting the hang of it. 'It hurts,' the blonde hissed, teeth grit tightly, 'can't focus enough to gather my chakra because of the pain…gotta take a break.'

He rolled onto his back, letting the sun warm his face, only to blink as something landed on his forehead, his headband having come undone. 'Hm?' he wondered, lifting the leaf off his forehead in mild interest, 'a leaf huh? Man that takes me back…' he snorted as he recalled all the crap he put Iruka through prior to the arrival of Recca and the others.

'Playing hooky with Kiba…snacking with Chouji…even counting sheep with Shikamaru…' he chuckled as he recalled all the fun times he'd had, 'Course not everyone liked it…'

--

Flashback

_Iruka glared death at the four troublemakers, a vein pulsing on the side of his head as he fought the urge to throttle them with their own intestines, as a normal teacher should._

"_You guy's can't concentrate on anything!" the chunin yelled, trying to get his point across, "At this rate it'll take a miracle for you to become upstanding shinobi!"_

"_How the hell are we supposed to be able to sit still behind a desk all day?" Kiba replied, hands in his pockets and an infant Akamaru on his head, the pup yipping in agreement. Shikamaru yawned to the side, whilst Naruto looked up at the man with a bored expression._

"_Ne, sensei," the blonde horror muttered "You mind shortening the lecture? I got training to do."_

_Iruka saw red, but refused to give in to the voice telling him to kill everything in sight and settled for yelling at them. "Fine!" he roared, "But after class I'm gonna teach you all a lesson you won't forget!"_

"_NANI?!" the quartet yelped, huddling together as Iruka loomed over them like a death sentence._

"_What the heck's this?" Naruto wondered, staring up at the leaf Iruka had placed on his forehead in confusion._

"_What you are about to learn," Iruka instructed, smiling with his eyes closed as he went into 'lecture mode' "is a focusing exercise practiced by our Konoha predecessors since ancient times."_

_Naruto blinked, staring at the leaf in confusion as Iruka elaborated, "The exercise requires you to concentrate all your chakra onto the leaf on your forehead," the chunin explained, "It's an old, yet effective method of improving ones concentration, which in turn helps build your chakra control."_

_The four students stared at the leaves on their heads in interest, while Iruka pointed at his own headband. "Only those who can concentrate during battle can be regarded as splendid shinobi!" he preached, "This training could be considered the origin of the symbol on my Hitai-ate."_

"_You're making this shit up!" Kiba yelled, Akamaru ripping the leaf of his head, "Strength's the only thing that counts in a shinobi, right Naruto?!"_

_Naruto looked at the teen in confusion, before gritting his fist and agreeing with a yell, not wanting to be outdone, Chouji and Shikamaru going along with them as Iruka slumped in defeat._

End Flashback

--

"What a time for karma to come back and bite me in the ass." Naruto muttered, chuckling self-mockingly, sitting up with a groan, "I really am a dumbass."

He looked at the mark on his palm, before licking his thumb and rubbing it on the still drying ink. "Too late for regrets, and feeling sorry for myself ain't getting me anywhere either." He smirked at the crudely drawn Konoha symbol on his palm before getting to his feet. "Alright," He smirked, closing his eyes, "Let's do this thing!"

Picking up the rubber ball, the teen shut everything off, barley flinching as the nerves in his hand acted up, the chakra pouring out in a steady, massive stream. Unlike before however, he visualized the white space emblazoned with a Konoha symbol, as streams of blue and red chakra swirled around it, almost obscuring it from view. Letting out a roar as he felt the pain reach it's zenith, the blonde slammed the rubber ball into the ground just before it detonated, producing a miniature maelstrom of air and chakra that sent him flying through the air backwards.

"FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Naruto cursed, only to blink as a pair of massive arms wrapped around him, his rescuer somersaulting backwards to land on the ground with a crash, grinning down at the teen.

"Not bad squirt," Domon grinned, leering down at the teen appreciatively "You flew back any harder and you coulda bruised my ribs."

"Tell me about it," Recca muttered, walking up beside the two and patting the giant on the back "Nice catch back there, Domon."

"Aniki? Domon?" Naruto wondered, blinking at the teens in confusion as he lay in the giant's arms bridal style, "What're you doing all the way out here?"

"I brought them." Jiraiya called out, appearing from behind a tree with a nod, "Very well done Naruto, though next time, try not to propel yourself into L.E.O (Lower Earth Orbit)? You'll leave nothing for the ladies to do."

"Urusei! Ero-sennin!" the blonde shot back, before sucker punching Domon, "And how long you gonna hold me you Cro-Magnon?"

"That's the thanks I get for saving you?!" Domon roared, the two getting into a fistfight, which Recca joined for no apparent reason, causing Jiraiya to sweatdrop.

'Hoo-boy' the sennin muttered, stepping to the side as the cloud of fists, fangs and feet rolled past like something out of Katamari Damacy, 'I don't get paid enough for this.' He smirked as he spotted Naruto for the briefest moment, the blonde being strangled by Domon in a manner oddly reminiscent of an American cartoon character, the blonde's arms waving wildly. 'Impressive,' the sennin noted, 'to produce chakra to the extent it burnt his hands!' he smirked proudly, 'This kid's something else."

He blinked, before yelling out in horror as the cloud rolled over him, drawing the sennin into the free-for-all between his three apprentices. "ARRGH! QUIT IT YOU BAKAS!" He yelled, before spitting out a tooth as Recca's fist collided with his jaw, Naruto's heel catching him in the groin, "THAT'S IT! NO MORE MISTER NICE SENNIN!"

--

Kenshin looked up in confusion as a pillar of smoke rose from behind the cliff he'd been investigating, wondering if he should go check it out, only to shiver and return to his task, knowing he'd catch hell if he were late bringing back the tofu again.

'And this one thought Saito was whipped?' he wept silently, as he imagined Kaoru looming over him like Enma Daio, horns and all.

--

And so the second stage has been mastered, admittedly faster than any other.

Kakashi: Co-COPOUT!

FRAG-A-DOOM!!

Kyugan: Dayumn! (nods approvingly) Kudos to you Red.

Hellboy: No Biggee, he woke up Big baby (pats Big Baby comfortingly) and he;s cranky when he wakes up.

Reviews keep Big Baby sleeping nicely. Review or he wakes up in your crotch.

* * *


	35. Chapter 35

And so we finally get onto Tsunade's trail...and on to the third stage if training.

Also, for those who requested, we will be levelling off on the character bashing.

kakashi: Yay!

BRATATATATATATATATATA!

Kyugan: (Nods at Big Boss, who lowers the patriot) Just not too soon.

* * *

The third stage; Orochimaru's Proposal!

Shizune gazed up at the towering form of Tanzaku castle and let out a whistle of appreciation. "It looks so magnificent when viewed from below!" she praised, "No wonder people consider a treasured piece of art!"

"Calm down Shizune," Tsunade scolded, eyeing her attendant like an annoyed schoolteacher would a gawking student, "Let's quit wasting time and get out of here."

"Aww, what's the hurry?" Shizune whined, looking over at her master plaintively, "It doesn't cost us anything just to look…"

Whatever she was going to say was cut off as the castle was demolished, apparently from the inside, tiles and mortar falling to the ground as the two medics gazed on in shocked disbelief. Through the settling dust, a large shadowy form appeared, two human shaped figures adorning its head. Shizune's eyes widened as the dust settled to reveal a pale skinned man with long black hair and golden eyes, attended by a silver haired youth, gazing down at them from atop a massive summoned snake, causing Tsunade to clench her fists.

"I finally found you…" Orochimaru stated, leering down at his former teammate with a type of dangerous hunger, "Tsunade-Hime."

--

After thoroughly trashing his insufferable subordinates, though not without suffering a few bruises himself, Jiraiya had allotted them a day of rest before ordering them to pack their bags. "Alright!" the sennin yelled, pointing in the direction of Tanzaku-gai "Let's go!" he cheered, only to be met with silence as his students stared at him with deadpan expressions.

"Quit yelling like a kid would ya?" Naruto groused, his eyes shut in a vulpine expression of irritation, "You're embarrassing us, let's just get a move on."

"You're in a foul mood," Jiraiya noted, running his eyes over the trio as they glared at him with a smirk "You still aren't sore about the thrashing I gave you, are you?"

"You didn't have to use the rasengan on us!" Naruto yelled, wincing as he recalled the sphere of spiraling chakra ramming into the space between the three genin, sending them into the air only to crash into the scenery. "On top of that, what's the big idea putting my training on hold! I only mastered two of the three steps you told me about!"

"That's true," Jiraiya noted, rustling around in his robes for something "but then the third stage is one you can practice while we walk."

Naruto blinked as the sennin inflated a balloon and tossed it at him, catching it in confusion as he checked it for any tricks. "It's just an ordinary balloon." He muttered, sounding decidedly unimpressed as he looked up at Jiraiya.

"The first stage was rotation," the sennin reminded the teen, "And the second was power." He held up an identical balloon and grinned, "And this right here, is the third stage!"

The trio leaned forwards, squinting at the unremarkable rubber sphere with the same level of scrutiny an evaluator saves for gems. After several minutes of irritated scrutiny, their cheeks actually touching, the trio rounded on the sennin with looks of fury. "JUST WHAT IN THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT ERO-SENNIN?!"

Jiraiya blinked, enawed at their unusual timing, before chuckling as he realized what they meant. "Heh, I suppose you wouldn't be able to see what's going on because of the balloon," he muttered, holding up his left hand as he spoke, "What's happening inside the balloon you ask?"

The trio stared in awe at the rotating sphere of chakra as it formed in the sennin's palm, the chakra rotating violently within a perfect sphere. 'Awesome!' they thought in sync 'The chakra in his palm's rotating at an alarming rate…but it's staying within the confines of that sphere!'

"It's like…" Naruto began, blinking as he recalled that conversation he had with Jiraiya not long ago, earning a grin from the sennin.

"A miniature typhoon!" Jiraiya finished, holding up his hand to enable them to see the technique better, basking in the glory that was his awesomeness. The fact he wasn;t the creator of the technique was easily brushed aside.

"And…the same thing's going on inside the balloon?" Domon asked, pointing at the unremarkable rubber sphere in amazement, earning a nod from the sennin.

'Amazing,' Naruto muttered, 'he's rotating so much chakra but the ball isn't moving, even though that chakra's rotating even harder than when I burst the rubber ball!'

"You see," Jiraiya called out, catching the blonde's attention, "The purpose of the third stage is to pull out 100 of what you've mastered so far and then contain it!" He nodded at the teen, "In other words, while maintaining the maximum chakra rotation, you form a secondary layer of chakra around the inside of the balloon and visualize compressing the chakra within it."

"So basically," Naruto opined, "what you're saying is to maintain the secondary stage, but rather than permitting the balloon to burst, I have to do so WITHOUT bursting it."

"Quick as always." Jiraiya praised, blinking as he noticed the look of confusion on Recca's face "Something wrong Recca? You're looking a liuttle serious there."

"I just don't get it," the enjutsu-shi muttered, "Why go to the effort of compressing the power instead of just letting it go wild?"

"Well," Jiraiya muttered, walking over to a tree, "Up to the second stage, all you'll be able to do is this…" he rammed the rotating chakra into the trunk, leaving a spiral shaped imprint in the bark, earning a look of appreciation from the trio, "However, if you master the third stage…!"

The sennin rammed the sphere of chakra into the trunk, a loud grinding noise filling the air as it drilled into the tree, gouging out a massive chunk, leaving the three teens flabbergasted. "In short," Jiraiya preached, "If you can maintain the cyclone of chakra within you palm it will not only maintain it's shape, but the rotation will speed up, the power compress, and the damage will be ultimately more impressive!"

--

Naruto stared at the tree in amazement, before smirking down at the balloon and grinning, "Piece of cake!" he boasted, closing his eyes and focusing on the sphere. After a few seconds his eyes widened and he clamped another hand over the balloon to steady the chakra, only to yell out along with Domon and Recca as the fragile sphere exploded outwards with a burst of wind, knocking them off their feet.

"No holding back!" Jiraiya chastised, a stern look on his face, "You must maintain the rotation and power at 100 whilst containing it, anything less and you'll never master the third stage."

'You're kidding right?' Domon exclaimed, looking at the damaged ground in alarm 'None of us have that type of chakra control!'

'No wonder it takes three stages.' Recca mused, eyeing his startled Outoto carefully as he stared at his palms. 'It's all to prep you for the difficulty.'

'This is on a totally different level than the other two!' Naruto thought, eyeing his palms in disbelief as he recalled the surge of chakra.

"I told you," Jiraiya called out, snapping them out of their daze, "Mastery of this jutsu was a high enough level to be receive an A-rank difficulty rating." He turned on his heel, "Now no more lagging around," he ordered, "You can practice while we walk."

The trio began to complain, only to be silenced as the sennin gave them a look. "We already spent a day waiting for you all to recover," he muttered, "And there's no guarantee Tsunade's gonna hang around that town too long, it's not like an old friends gonna conveniently show up out of nowhere to chat about the old days, so lets go already!"

--

As irony would have it, Tsunade and Orochimaru, along with their attendants, were currently gazing across from one another, all thoughts of leaving gone without a trace. "Sashiburidana," Tsunade greeted without much emotion, eyeing the look on her former teammate's face with caution, "Orochimaru."

"I've been searching for you for quite a while…Tsunade-Hime." Orochimaru replied, eyeing the blonde sennin with a small smirk.

"Now what on earth could you possibly want with me?" Tsunade replied, eyeing the man carefully, "I highly doubt you wanted to reminisce about the good old days."

"Actually," Orochimaru replied, fighting down the urge to tremble from the fever and pain, "I have a small favor to ask of you."

Tsunade noticed the trembling of her former teammates pale frame, even more so than usual, and frowned as her acute senses went into high gear. 'His heart rate's erratic, from his complexion alone he has a high fever, coupled with a severe case of exhaustion.' She shot a look at the man's bandaged hands, carefully concealed by the long sleeves of his kimono, 'Also…those arms…'

"Tsunade-sama," Kabuto called out "I'm sure you can assess the situation from just a glance."

"Find someone else," Tsunade replied with a wave of her hand, "I quit the medical field a long time ago."

"We can't." Kabuto insisted, "You must understand the severity of these wounds…there is no-one other than yourself that can heal these wounds." He fought down a surge of jealousy and went on "You, who received praise as the famed medical specialist of the Densetzu no Sannin, Tsunade-Hime."

Tsunade frowned slightly, only half listening to Kabuto's words as she eyed Orochimaru's arms in interest. 'Some sort of curse mark?' she wondered, before looking her former teammate in the eye. "Those arms," she noted, "those are no ordinary injuries…what happened to you?"

"Nothing much," Orochimaru replied lightly "merely an inconvenience I suffered due to my carelessness whilst killing the Sandaime."

The two medics flinched in disbelief, Shizune turning pale in horror as Tsunade eyed the injured Oto kage. "You…what?" she repeated, earning a chuckle from Orochimaru.

"No need to scowl so…Tsunade-Hime." He assured her, "Everything will eventually come to an end, and humans are no exception." He leered at her, "You ought to know after all…you did let the two people you love the most die."

--

Kabuto listened in on the conversation in interest, looking between his master and their target as the woman glared at the snake sennin. 'She let the two people she loved die?' he wondered, before noting the solemn look on Orochimaru's face, the small smile that seemed to lack his usual evil intent. 'Hmmph…a rather cruel tactic to use…' he muttered, noting the scowl on Tsunade's face.

"Kukukuku…" Orochimaru cackled, his shoulders shaking in apparent merriment, "Yes indeed," he muttered, "Such cruel…brutal deaths they were."

Kabuto flinched as Tsunade's attendant rolled her sleeve out of the way, revealing several senbon launchers that she fired at Orochimaru. The silver haired medic leapt in front of his master and deflected them, catching the last one and noting the faint scent of poison on the tip as Tsunade ordered the woman, named Shizune, to stand down.

'That attendant,' he noted, eyeing the agitated younger woman before him 'she's quite something.'

Tsunade sighed, shaking her golden locks with an amused smile, "You really haven't changed…Orochimaru." she commented, earning a look of confusion from Shizune, "But you know me pretty well," she chastised with a smile, "So you know you really shouldn't have said that…"

Without warning she rammed her fist into the wall, demolishing the entire thing as she glared at the snake sennin with all the loathing in her body.

"I'll kill you for that you bastard!"

Kabuto swallowed, whilst behind him Orochimaru seemed to take on an air of amused nervousness, as if recalling old times.

'…She's strong!' the medic gulped eyeing the ruined wall fearfully, 'which may be the understatement of the year!' He ran his eyes over the enraged kunoichi and swallowed nervously, 'Scary too…bet you any money she's single.'

'That Tsunade,' Orochimaru marveled, 'I recall how she used to punt Jiraiya over the monument for the slightest provocation.' He smirked weakly as she seethed at him, 'Ah…anger only makes her all the more beautiful…and so much easier to read.'

--

Naruto swore as the sphere exploded again, sending him flying backwards and his teammates off to the side as Jiraiya placed a hand against the gate pillar as he looked up the steps.

'Tsunade's impatient and short-tempered,' the sennin recalled fondly, remembering how she'd break the table over his head for beating her at poker, 'I really hope she hasn't moved on yet.'

Behind him, Domon extracted his head from the wall as Recca straightened his nose, having been blown face-first into the opposite pillar. The two shot an embarrassed Naruto mutual glares, before rounding on the teen like rapid sharks.

"QUIT FUCKING AROUND ON A STAIRWAY YOU BAKAS!" Jiraiya yelled, frying them with a minor Katon jutsu, "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REMINISCE WITH YOU GOING AT IT EVERY TWO MINUTES?!"

--

"We didn't come here to fight with you," Kabuto stated placatingly, trying to defuse the situation, the two sannin ignoring him as they continued to glare at each other, "we merely came to negotiate..."

"You should have said so from the start," Tsunade shot back, revealing she HAD been paying attention, "Too late for that now so beat it."

"You are the only one capable of healing Orochimaru-sama's arms." Kabuto insisted eyeing the two kunoichi carefully, "And we aren't asking you to do so for free, won't you…consider our proposal?"

"I'm going to count to five." Tsunade warned, "I suggest you get your asses out of here before I finish, or I'll finish you myself."

"Please calm down," Kabuto insisted, as the countdown began, "I really don't think you'll be disappointed by the terms." He sighed as Tsunade kept counting, looking up into the annoyed face of Shizune as he shook his head.

"One!" Tsunade yelled, leaping forwards with her fist drawn back. Kabuto moved to intercept her, only for Orochimaru to step forwards, dodging the enraged fist and leaning forwards to smirk at the woman.

"I can easily revive both your brother and lover…with the forbidden jutsu I've developed." He stated, causing Tsunade to flinch and back away, staring at the now smirking serpent in amazement as Shizune gaped in shock. "Well now," the serpent continued looking into Tsunade's conflicted eyes "should I take the fact we're still standing here whole and hale as a sign that the offer is acceptable?"

--

"I know her," a gambler noted, nodding as Jiraiya held a picture of Tsunade in front of him, "She won back all the money she lost here and said she was going somewhere else."

"Really? Where?" Jiraiya asked, leaning over in interest as he ignored the goings on of his students as they mingled with the gamblers.

"You understand?" a friendly gambler instructed, tossing the die in the air, "If you get an odd number it's 'han', and if it's even then it's 'chou'."

"Sound's easy enough," Recca admitted, picking up the dice and laying some money on the mat. Domon blinked and turned towards Naruto, who was gripping the balloon with a look of concentration.

"You wanna join in squirt?" he asked, only to flinch as Naruto somehow tuned his head a perfect 180 to glare at him like an enraged fox.

"URUSEI!" the blonde roared, black rings under his eyes as he tried to control the chakra, "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRAINING HERE?!"

Jiraiya sighed at the irate blonde's antics, before blinking as the gambler tossed the dice in a cup and set it on the mat. "Oi, there's nothing free at a gambling den," he pointed out, smirking up at the sennin, "How's about a little game? You win, and I'll you the info for free, lose, and I'll charge you 1000 ryo."

"Alright!" Jiraiya agreed, feeling pretty confident in his gambling skills considering what a roll he'd been on with gamblers so far. 'Let's see,' he muttered, 'I just turned fifty a while ago…' he smirked and nodded at the man, "I'll pick Chou."

The gambler nodded, before lifting up the cup, allowing Jiraiya, who was taller, a better view of the die, much to his horror. 'SHIT!' the sennin cursed, 'A two and a five! Han!'

At that moment, Naruto let out a yelp as his sphere erupted, letting loose a blast of air that caused many to shut their eyes. Jiraiya blinked as the dice bearing the number five rolled over to reveal a four. 'NICE, NARUTO!' he praised, grinning like the cat that caught the canary as the gamblers picked themselves up, "I do believe that's my win." He pointed out, earning a cry of alarm from his opponent, "Now what do you know about the lady in the photo?"

Naruto, in the meanwhile, cursed himself for having failed yet again to master the jutsu.

--

"Don't you want to see them again, Tsunade?" Orochimaru egged, grinning at his suddenly uncertain former teammate. Tsunade, in return, lowered her gaze and recalled the faces of the two, most precious men in her life, her beloved Outoto and her lover respectively.

'Nawaki…Dan…' she whispered, trembling slightly from the memories, before looking back up at her opponent. "Supposing I agree to heal those arms," she began, "what will you do next?"

"I hate lies," Orochimaru replied, "So I'll be frank with you." He looked her in the eye, face as serious as a heart attack, "As well as achieving my ambitions…I'll completely annihilate Konoha, once and for all."

"Annihilate Konoha?!" Shizune repeated, the look of fury returning to her features, before turning to surprise as she realized her master hadn't responded, and actually seemed to be considering the proposal, as Orochimaru smiled.

"Your answer?" Kabuto prodded, eyeing Shizune in case the younger woman attempted anything unfriendly.

"You mustn't believe them Tsunade-sama!" Shizune beseeched "Neither your brother nor my uncle would want this! Have you forgotten their wishes? Or even…have you forgotten YOUR wish? YOUR dream Tsunade-sama?!" She turned to face her master fully, trying to get her to respond, "I know it isn't so!" she beseeched, "I know better than anyone that deep down you still-!"

"SHUT UP, SHIZUNE!"

The younger kunoichi stared at her master in disbelief, as the older woman stared at the ground in silence. Orochimaru smirked at the woman, as Kabuto nodded. "You need not give us your answer this very minute," the teen assured her "however we would like a response within a weeks time." He looked up, "Also, just so you know, Orochimaru-sama's kinjutsu requires live sacrifices, so please have two people prepared on your end."

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune yelled, spurred into anger at the teen's words and disgust at the notion of human sacrifices "Let's just kill these bastards right here!" she glared at the male sennin, "Orochimaru's injured! It's our best chance! If we fight them together we can finish them!" She trailed off as Tsunade failed to reply, looking round to see her still deep in thought, 'Tsunade-sama…'

--

Orochimaru watched as Tsunade wrestled with her indecision, trying to choose between her desire to smash him into a bloody smear across the landscape, and the desire to hold those two precious people in her arms again.

'I know you all too well,' He muttered, eyeing her carefully 'even years from now you still wear you heart on your sleeve to those who know you well enough.' He shot Shizune an annoyed glare, before smirking coldly. 'Resistance?' he repeated, raising a finger to his lips, 'you underestimate me child.'

--

Tsunade flinched in horror as Orochimaru bit his own ailing finger, holding it out to her as the blood fell to the floor. The once prideful women gripped her necklace, as she seemed to curl into herself whilst not moving. 'DAMN!' Shizune swore, glaring across at Orochimaru, 'Traitor or not he's still a member of the sannin…it stands to reason he'd know about THAT…!'

"I certainly may be weakened at the moment," Orochimaru admitted mockingly, "but I know all of Tsunade's weaknesses too…" He smirked as he eyed his former teammate mockingly, "It's hasn't left you…your paralyzing fear of blood."

'Hemophobia?' Kabuto wondered, utterly confused as to how the most famous of medical specialists could posses such a crippling ailment, only to blink as Orochimaru nodded to him.

"We should get going Kabuto," the injured serpent stated, turning on his heel, eyeing his former teammate out the corner of his eye, "Tsunade…I expect a favorable response."

They vanished, leaving behind a distraught Tsunade, a concerned Ton-ton and Shizune, and one hell of a job for the castle clean up crew.

--

The team left the gambling den with the info, Jiraiya blinking in shock at the sacks of money Recca and Domon had over their shoulder. "You bet triple or nothing?" he repeated, eyeing the sacks enviously.

"Yup!" Recca beamed, "And you ain't getting a penny of it Ero-sennin! We're storing it away for later!"

"Miserable brats." Jiraiya muttered, before sighing as they passed a pachinko parlor as the two teens pulled out their storage scrolls. "Feh, where the hell is she?" he muttered, looking around the street in disgust, before sighing and turning to the trio "Listen up, you all can do as you please but meet back at the inn before curfew alright?"

The trio nodded, Recca and Domon deciding to spend some of their well-earned cash whilst Naruto wandered into a pachinko parlor, not paying attention as he tried to avoid bursting the balloon. He cursed as the damnable thing burst, startling a few patrons, only to be ignored as they all realized they'd struck it rich.

"Dammit! Oi Ero-sennin!" the blonde roared as he spun round, only to find the others were gone, "What the? Where the heck am I?" he wondered, looking around in confusion. Noticing that several patrons had gathered around a blackjack table, where a buxom blonde was looking more depressed by the minute.

Naruto blinked, wondering what was wrong with the woman, before noticing a stray coin on the floor. Picking it up, he noticed that the slot players were putting the coins in and cursing as they came up short. 'I put it in here?' he wondered, sitting on the stool and inserting the coin in the slot, 'And then pull this?'

--

Tsunade, having lost all she could afford and ready to pack it in for the night, looked up from ignoring Shizune's inquiries as to her health as several bells sounded, heralding that someone had won the jackpot. The blonde sennin turned, only to stare in shock as a small blonde teen disappeared under a growing pile of coins, arm twitching feebly.

"ARRRRGGGHH!" the blonde screamed, "ERO-SENNIN! ANIKI! DOMON! THIS MACHINE'S GONE NUTS! SAVE YOURSELVES!"

'Wh-what the hell?' Tsunade deadpanned, as all the other machines began showering the teen with money, much to his horror, 'He's either got the world's most fucked up luck…or someone up there's being a real ass.'

Stepping forwards, the blonde kunoichi dove her hand into the pile and pulled the startled genin out by his top, setting him down on his feet. "You okay kid?" she asked, noting the Konoha headband and wincing.

"Yeah," the kid replied, trembling like a leaf as he clung to her arm for support "That was scary! Are the machines SUPPOSED to attack you like that?"

'I wish.' Tsunade thought wistfully, before shaking herself and looking down at the teen suspiciously, "What'd you do anyway? You sabotage the machine?"

"I didn't do anything!" the kid replied, pointing at the slot machine accusingly, "All I did was put in a coin and pull the damn lever!"

Tsunade blinked, looking at the, still growing' pile of cash and back to the confused genin in disbelief. 'He got all this from just one coin?!' she wondered, blinking as the teen squinted up at her.

"Ne, big booby neechan," he called out, earning a choked snort from Shizune as Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "thanks for saving me, you want some of this? I can't carry it all."

Tsunade didn't know whether to hug the brat or punch his lights out. Either way would have resulted in death, by asphyxiation or head trauma, but the reason behind them were oh, so different. 'Ah screw it,' she muttered, ruffling the brat's hair much to his discomfort. 'How can he not notice a figure like mine?'

The teen fought his way out from under the sennin's hand, only to look up at her in interest, "Hey…weren't you that woman playing poker a while ago?" he asked, which killed Tsunade's buzz something quickly, "Lemme guess, they cleared you out?"

Shizune winced as a cloud hovered over her master, before looking up as the blonde teen grinned at them.

"Not a problem! Just leave everything to me!"

--

And so Naruto's luck strikes again!

Howwill he fare against Tsunade's debts? And when will he realize who he's talking to?

Wesker: Probably never, kid doesn;t look to sharp on the uptake.

Kyugan: True that (Blinks) wait...where's Kakashi?

Wesker: Oh, were you still using him? I had him sent to the lab.

In a dimly lit laboratory, a tall, thinl man with long limbs and bizzare spectacles leered down at the remains of Kakashi and held up his surgically gloved, six fingered hands.

Doc: A Vunderfull specimen...let Ze operation begin!

Kakashi corpse:...

R&R, or no more Kakashi Pwnage.

* * *


	36. Chapter 36

Two updates in as many hours? Is this a sign of the end?

Major: OH I zertainly hope not, othervise there'd be no time for ze next war...und ze war to follow that...und ze next...und ze next...

Kyugan: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh-tah...(nods to Big Boss) You CAN handle this guy right?

Big Boss: Nazi's? Vampires? Cyborgs? (Lights a cigar) Please.

Major: By Ze way...that charming fellow with ze sunglasses seems to be a little perplexed.

Kyugan: (Looks up at a momitor to see Wesker dragging a recovered Kakashi down a hallway.) Just testing something. Care to do the honors?

Major: Da. (Points remote, nothing happens.) Eh? Ist this thing vorking right?

Captain:...(takes remote and turns it to face the right way round, points at screen)

Major: Ah, danke Captain. Roll Camera!

* * *

Legendary hand; blessings of the gambling gods!

Tanzaku-gai was famous for it's gambling casinos. Day and night people came to challenge their luck, and more often than not they left with their pockets lighter, those that had been smart enough not to wager their clothing that is.

As it was, this particular gambling den was in one of the seedier districts, where only those down on their luck or trying to lay low could be found. Naturally, the clientele knew that the games were more often than not rigged, but were either to desperate or crooked to say anything.

A specific poker dealer, who could see a bright future ahead of him as he'd netted in quite a sum from the infamous 'Tsunade-Hime', shuffled the deck; having just stripped another poor sucker of every last penny and his wife, though in the latter case the man had actually seemed quite relieved. "Who's next there?" he called out, grinning cheerfully into the crowd as a way to divert suspicion, "Anyone up for the house challenge?"

The dealer blinked as a blonde teen, barely more than thirteen, pulled up a chair and sat in front of the table. "Sorry, this isn't a place for little kids." he teashed, only to barely dodge a kunai aimed at his forehead, noting the hitai-ate on the youth's forehead in alarm.

"Who you calling a 'kid'?" Naruto muttered, glaring up at the man irritably, before pulling out a pile of poker chips and setting them on the table. "I'll wager all these." He stated, looking at the dealer confidently, "Deal."

The dealer looked around, catching the manager's eye. The man nodded and the dealer sighed, shaking his head with a smirk. "Your loss brat," he replied, shuffling the cards as he eyed the brat with mockingly, "Gotta warn ya, I won't go easy on you just because you're young."

"Deal the fucking cards already," Naruto growled, eyes narrowed to slits and letting off more killing intent than the dealer felt comfortable with, "And while you're at it, make sure it's a new deck, that one's got marks on the back."

The dealer froze, looking around as the crowd began to mutter amongst themselves, before pulling a sealed pack of cards from under the table. He broke the seal and was about to pull the cards out when they disappeared, only to reappear in the blonde's hands as he spread them.

"Jokers first," Naruto noted, eyeing the cards critically, "They're all in order, deck seems legit."

The dealer grimaced, hands trailing to the side of his table where a dictionary lay, flipping the pages without looking at them. 'Page 500…no, 546." He noted, looking at the page briefly with a smirk, 'Feh, this brat thinks he's big game, but he's just blowing smoke.' He nodded, 'No matter how you shuffle them, I'll still know where all the cards are.'

--

Tsunade frowned as she watched the interaction with the two, wondering why on earth she trusted the blonde horror. Maybe the headband brought back some of the old sentimentality? It couldn't be a coincidence that she'd run into a Konoha Shinobi after meeting Orochimaru. Did he rig the machines in order to get her attention? No matter, let the kid learn the hard way that life wasn't a damn game.

"Tsunade-sama…" Shizune whispered, sidling up alongside her master "I checked the machines like you asked, they're all in full working order."

Tsunade frowned, eyeing the blonde suspiciously as he shuffled the deck carefully, before handing it over to the dealer. "Ten of hearts," the man announced, holding up the card so everyone could see it; the blonde genin responded by drawing the seven of clubs. "My deal," the dealer noted, "Since you're a shinobi, you'll understand if I can't let you see the cards."

He proceeded to shuffle them, noting the position of each card that could instantly shut out the blonde upstart, before setting the deck before the teen. "Please cut the deck." He asked, watching as the blonde did so, smiling smugly as he picked up the deck again. "One for you," the dealer noted, tossing a card face down before the blonde as he spoke "one for me, one for you, one for me, one for y-ARRRRGHH!"

Tsunade blinked in surprise as the blonde darted forwards and broke the dealer's finger, earning a scream from the man as the crowd broke out into mutters. "What the hell?!" she yelled, stepping up close to the brat and grabbing his wrist, "You trying to get yourself arrested brat?!"

"I despise being cheated," Naruto muttered, glaring at the gasping dealer with his slit pupiled eyes, "I know all the tricks too, so you won't be able to cheat me so easily."

Tsunade blinked, before following the genin's line of sight to land upon the deck in the dealer's crippled hand, eyes widening at the sight. "You noticed it too? Big booby-neechan?" Naruto asked, earning a look from the kunoichi "The second card is sticking out, not the one he should have dealt." He glared at the dealer and pointed at him, "He wanted to give me that card, so that HE could get the card on the top."

The teen flipped the second card over, followed by the other two in front of the dealer, revealing three tens, "He'd have lost the round from the start with this hand." He noted, glaring at the dealer, "It's an old trick called 'second deal' it's hard to catch a master because of their finger speed."

"F-fucking brat…!" the dealer cursed, nursing his wounded digit, "Y-you broke m-my fucking f-finger!" He winced as the culprit card was tossed at him, embedding itself in the table before him.

"Nah, I was in a good mood," Naruto replied, glaring at the man and radiating killing intent "I didn't rip it off." He sighed and looked around, "Too bad though, seems like you aren't able to deal." He nodded to Tsunade, "Big booby-neechan, can you do it?"

--

Tsunade fought the urge to strangle the brat and picked up the cards, shuffling them again and dealing them out evenly. Meanwhile the dealer had set his finger, and was glaring bullets across the table at the teen, who merely looked on indifferently.

"I'll wager 100 ryo," the dealer muttered, tossing the money out, Naruto nodded and tossed out one of his own. "Let's see…" the dealer muttered, before dropping a chip and motioning to Tsunade, "I'll take two cards."

"Three for me." Naruto replied, adding another chip to the table as he took the cards, glaring across at the dealer the whole time.

"Nice glare kid," the dealer complimented, tossing another chip token onto the table, "But do you have the cards to back it up?"

Naruto replied by tossing another chip on the table, glaring at the man the entire time. "Right!" the dealer muttered, smirking at the teen as he nodded "Let's see what you got brat!"

"Two pair:" Naruto replied, spreading the hand before him for all to see, "Eight's and nines."

"Too bad," the dealer replied, spreading out his own, "Two pair: Queens and Jacks!" he whistled, eyeing the blonde carefully. 'Too close…I could have lost there!'

--

Tsunade winced, as the dealer scooped up the chips, looking the teen over in concern, only to blink as she noticed the look in those odd blue eyes of his.

It was a look she hadn't seen since the Kyuubi attacked, a look that many a man had come to fear prior to death by crushed pelvises and shattered testicles. It was a look that had been tempered by the harsh conditions in whirlpool country and the trials of the shinobi wars.

It was a look that had lead to the complete annihilation of the many underground gambling circuits in Konoha, which had flourished in its absence.

'It can't be!' she thought, 'Kushina…Kushina couldn't have any relatives left!' She stared into the red-ringed eyes and shivered, 'But there's no doubt about it! Those eyes are-!'

--

"Next game," Naruto called out, tossing a chip on the table without breaking eye contact with his opponent, "Deal."

The dealer smirked, before tossing a chip on the table almost mockingly, "Not 'next game'," he boasted, smirking at the blonde, "This is the endgame for you, brat!" He smirked as Tsunade dealt the cards, keeping his face neutral as he espied the trio of kings in his hands. "I'll take one card," he stated, tossing out a chip before blinking as he noticed the blonde hadn't touched his cards. "What's up kid? Giving up?"

"These cards are fine," Naruto replied confidently, looking into the dealer's startled eyes with his own, "I don't need to change them."

"I'm not asking that!" the dealer replied, slapping the desk, "I'm asking why the hell you aren't looking at them!"

"That's my business," Naruto replied, glaring across at the dealer and sending a shiver up the spine of the crowd, "One more thing…" he pushed all his chips forward, a good 10,000 ryo in total, "I'm betting all this on the next round."

The dealer's eyes bulged at the sight, looking into the eyes of the teen and shivering, before slamming a fist on the table. "HEY! I asked for a card!" he yelled, snapping Tsunade out of her daze long enough to toss him a card.

'Heh, you think I didn't see you two talking back there?' the dealer muttered, looking between the sennin and the genin with a smirk. 'You think you're so smart, but the densetzu no kamo's luck isn't just limited to herself, but to all those involved with her!' He allowed his smirk to deepen as he noticed the fourth king in his hand. "Feh, alright kid, I'll meet you," he pushed the chips forward, before reaching under the table, "But I'll raise you three times the amount!"

"You can't do that!" Shizune protested, moving near the table and waving a hand imploringly "He doesn't have any more chips to bet!"

"He doesn't need them," the dealer replied, "he can wager anything, his clothes, his sword…" He pointed at the blonde's forehead, "How about that headband?"

"Deal." Naruto replied, setting the sword and headband on the table solemnly, much to the shock of the dealer and Shizune, who looked mortified.

"You mustn't!" the dark haired medic implored, "A shinobi's Hitai-ate is a mark of pride! It isn't something that should be squandered on a bet!" She pointed at the sword for emphasis, "And that sword looks valuable! You can't just throw those things away for us!"

"Two of the most precious people in my life entrusted these things to me," Naruto replied without looking at the woman, missing the look of shock on Tsunade's face, "They meant for me to use them."

Tsunade stared at the teen in disbelief as shock filled her core at his words. 'How?' she whispered, 'Even with 'those eyes'…how can he be so confident?' She gripped her necklace in confusion, 'How can he be so strong?'

--

The dealer began to sweat, he was no expert but he knew from first glance that it was a masterpiece set before him. And the pride attained of robbing a Shinobi of their Hitai-ate would draw in custom from around the land. 'Coupled with the Densetzu no Kamo's legendary luck,' he cackled, shooting a leer at the blonde Kunoichi, 'I'm a shoe in to win'

His finger pulsed, and he glared across at the teen as the pain grew, 'I got four kings…so he can only beat me with four aces, a straight flush or four of a kind with a joker.' He sneered, 'but I ain't going easy on him! He thinks he can up the ante? Fine then!'

"You think you can top me?" he sneered, sweat dripping down the side of his face as the teen's glare refused to drop, "Fine then! I'll raise you a hundred times what's on the table!"

The crowd gasped as he placed the sum total of the den's earnings on the line, the other dealers looking over at their manager in shock. They were quickly soothed and joined him in leering at Tsunade, as they knew the woman's bad luck wouldn't desert them in these settings.

"Can't back up your bets?" the dealer leered, noting the look of horror on Shizune's face, annoyed that his opponent hadn't flinched, 'Dammit! Be afraid you brat! I've got you cornered!' he sneered at the blonde, "Show me your cards!"

"Hold it," Naruto called out, glaring at the man like he was an insect, "I haven't raised you yet."

"RAISE?!" the dealer all but screamed, "The hell are you talking about!? You have nothing left to offer!" he flinched as the blonde horror reached forwards, unsheathing his sword, earning looks of concern from the club.

"In the unlikely event that I lose," Naruto muttered, glaring at the man over the edge of the blade, "you can cut off my head."

The crowd fell silent; everyone stared at the teen in disbelief. The only noise came from the shocked breaths of the dealer as he stared across the table at the teen.

"A shinobi's life is always on the line during a mission," Naruto explained, getting to his feet, "those who lack the courage to risk their lives never amount to anything." He glared at the gambler from across the table, "However, no amount of money can cover the life of a human being," he pointed his finger at the gambler "so if you lose you forfeit you OWN life!"

'A-amazing!' Shizune whispered, staring between the two, hypnotized. 'He's so confident in his hand…they must be terrific cards!' she flinched as she looked over at her sensei, 'But…with Tsunade-sama's luck…'

The dealer looked around, wondering if he should accept the wager, noting the look on the others' face. 'Shit! If I pass this up and he's got a bum hand I'll be a laughing stock!' he stared at the naked blade on the counter, 'But if I loose-!' He gripped his cards and snarled, slamming them down on the table, "FUCK! SHOW ME YOUR CARDS YOU LITTLE BRAT!" he yelled, spreading his own crumpled hand before him, revealing the four kings. "BEAT THAT IF YOU CAN!"

Naruto merely arched and eyebrow and spread his cards, revealing…four queens.

--

The crowd seemed to exhale as one, Tsunade and Shizune staring at the cards as if betrayed, before the dealer's hysterical laughter broke the air.

"HYA-HA! I WON!" the man cackled, leaping to his feet and pointing at the genin in mad glee, "YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD MESS WITH THE BIG BOYS YOU LITTLE BRAT?!" He spat at the blonde's face, scooping up the katana and licking the blade mockingly, "TIME TO DIE BRAT! REPENT YOUR STUPIDITY IN HELL!"

Tsunade moved to intercept the man, knowing she could at least fight her way out, only to blink in shock as the sword abruptly came to a halt.

"Not so fast," Naruto muttered, having halted the blade by catching it between two knuckles, "You didn't let me finish."

The dealer blinked, before gazing in horror as the blonde lifted his other hand from the table revealing the grinning face of the joker he'd hidden under his palm.

'Four of a kind with a joker!' Shizune gasped, hands clapping to her mouth in relief as she gazed at the cards in shock, 'He…he pulled it off!'

"Fortune smiles upon the brave." Naruto quoted, getting to his feet as the dealer fell on his ass, "That's something I learned from a pretty cool old man back home." He frowned grimly as an image of the late sandaime appeared over his face, before pointing the sword at the man's face, "Are you feeling brave?" he asked, glaring down at the trembling man in disgust, "Well? Do you? Trash?"

Tsunade watched on as the teen's sword swung through the air, seeming to blur at times, only for the man to lie unharmed. She was about to wonder if he was bluffing, when the dealer's uniform was ripped to shreds.

"If I let the blood of trash stain my sword it'll rust for sure." Naruto muttered, sheathing the blade and leaving the humiliated man passed out, foaming at the mouth, "My winnings are enough, cash 'em out will ya?" he unsheathed the blade slightly with his thumb, letting it catch the light, "And don't try anything funny."

The remaining dealers swallowed and did as they were told, stepping around the silent form of their manager, who had apparently turned into an ashen statue, as they hurried to collect his winnings.

--

'This doesn't look good.' Jiraiya muttered, eyeing the destroyed castle with trepidation. 'I can smell the scent of serpent for miles around, but there's also the scent of booze and pig.' He sniffed again, landing next to a patch of soil where blood lay splattered, picking it up and wincing at how clotted it was despite the time it took to get here. 'No doubt about it,' he winced wiping his hands, 'It smells rotten, as if it was spilled from a corpse.' He eyed the wall warily, 'Looks like he DID seek out Tsunade after all.'

Getting to his feet, he summoned a small frog and ordered it to carry a message back to Konoha. 'It makes sense I suppose.' He reasoned, 'With something as severe as the wounds incurred during his fight with Sarutobi-sensei, you'd seek out the best healer around.' The message underway he turned on his heel and dashed off towards town again, face grim. 'I just hope you haven't agreed to help him…Tsunade!'

--

"Hey Hanabishi?" Domon muttered, looking over at his rival as they walked down the street together, "How're you doing for training?"

"Pretty good." Recca opined, his sack of winnings over one shoulder"But Koku-ji has been a little pre-occupied with something lately."

"Trouble?" the giant wondered, looking about warily for any assailants until the smaller teen waved that concern away with a snort.

"Not really, he's crafting some sort of Madogu to make sure Naruto's demon chakra doesn't run rampant," he shrugged offhandedly "something about Hanyou going berserk due to the chaos and pain of having two different chakra circulating inside them."

"Like adding hot water to a cold glass?" the Giant wondered, pointing up at a mental demonstration, to which Recca shrugged.

"Something like that." The Enjutsu-shi agreed, looking up at his rival "What about you? You master anything before we came here?"

"Ero sennin gave me a list of Earth jutsu to master." Domon replied with a grin, "I also convinced a few Iwa-nin to teach me a few?"

"I trust they were still alive after you convinced them?" Recca asked with a smirk, "Not that I care but the last thing we need is a group of headhunters after us for killing their comrades."

"Relax, they left their village years ago." Domon assured his rival, "In fact, I even got a bounty off 'em from some hunter nin a while ago!"

"And to think I thought traveling with the old pervert would be a waste of time." Recca opined with sigh, patting his bulging money sack as he fondly recalled the sack of Ryo stored away in his storage scroll. "Makes me wish we could find something good to do with it."

"Well…this IS a town." Domon began uncertainly, "And the girls DID want us to bring back souvenirs…"

The two eyed each other carefully, coming to the distinct realization that neither of them had the slightest clue on what to buy a woman for souvenirs.

"My mom says dad used to woo her with flowers." Domon began, recalling one of the few times he remembered the man being spoken of "It's why they opened a flower shop."

"The best flowers around are at Yamanaka no Hana." Recca replied, sighing in exasperation "Besides, flowers just wouldn't cut it with Fuko."

"Good point." Domon agreed, sweat dropping at the mental image of his beloved beheading the flowers with a kamaitachi, taking him with them "Maybe…perfume?"

"You crazy?" Recca balked, looking at the man like he;d sprouted another head "You know I hate the smell of perfume! Especially those mass produced types!"

"Kagero wears perfume." Domon pointed out, an image of the immortal kunoichi smiling down at them for emphasis as she waved at them.

"No she doesn't! That's her natural scent!" Recca countered, blinking at the deadpan look on his rival's face as he shook his head.

"What kind of son goes around sniffing his mother." The giant muttered, resulting in a fistfight that drew large crowds, gamblers appearing out of nowhere to bet on who would win, the scrawny monkey or the balding Gorilla.

After all, Tanzaku WAS known for it's gambling society, and who better than gamblers to seize opportunity by the balls?

--

"Orochimaru-sama?" Kabuto asked, gazing concernedly at his master as the sennin slumped into his chair, hissing in pain between clenched teeth "How are your arms?"

"For your sake I hope that was a rhetorical question." The sennin hissed, glaring death at the silver haired medic, his bitten finger trembling uncontrollably, "Kuso-! Even a gambit like that cost me more than it should have!"

"If you'd informed me of her weakness earlier you needn't have had to injure yourself." Kabuto pointed out, "You need to take better care of your arms, they're past the critical stage as it is, any further wear and tear and-!"

"Kabuto." The sennin rasped hoarsely, silencing the teen in mid-lecture, "Since when have you had the right to lecture me?"

Kabuto fell silent but refused to move away from his master in case the sennin required assistance. Sure enough the man began coughing again, his leaden arms trembling as he tried to lift them to his face to stop the blood from smearing his good kimono. "Please calm yourself!" Kabuto asked, holding a cloth to the man's mouth to absorb the blood, "I have your medicine, please take it!"

"Such useless drugs-!" the sennin hissed, eyeing the pills in disgust as they were held out to him "All they do is kill the pain somewhat!"

"True," Kabuto allotted, "But considering the fact your arms are rotting from within, would you prefer to go without them?"

Orochimaru hissed, before using his tongue to ensnare the bottle, swallowing the medication and hurling the bottle aside in disgust as he forced down the urge to retch. Kabuto sighed at this, before moving to undo the ties on the sennin's clothing. "It never ceases to amaze me." He noted, pushing the cloth aside and applying a cold compress to the man's chest, "How desperation can drive a person so. The Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi into Naruto-kun, killing himself in the process, and Sandaime Sarutobi attempted the same technique with you, even if he could only manage your arms."

"Desperation?" Orochimaru repeated with a snort, "Hardly, there is no other word for their madness but stupidity." He chuckled, "After all, what's the point of victory if you're dead? That's the logic of fools, you should know better than to praise that."

Kabuto shrugged, "As you say, Orochimaru-sama." He opined, leaving the man dressed in his sleeping attire as he carried away the clothing for storage.

'But it was that same fool that left you in such a state.' He thought snidely, even as his master howled in pain once again.

--

"Still no progress?" Kukai noted, peering into Kin's monitoring room, where the comatose kunoichi remained connected to a respirator.

"Some actually." The medic admitted, "She's reacted to mild forms of medication rather well, and according to our data, she should be conscious within a matter of hours."

"Could you hold off on notifying Ibiki-san for a while?" the bald master of Ku asked respectfully, "I'd like to have a few words with her, put her mind at ease."

"But of course." The medic replied, "Personally I'm loathe to the idea of summoning Ibiki-san here to interrogate a child, but the counselors insist on being thorough."

'There's being thorough and then there's being sadistic.' Kukai muttered, 'Not that I blame Ibiki-san for enjoying his work, but I cannot condone it being done to one so young, and a girl nonetheless.'

With that it mind, the bald man entered the room, pulling up a chair and sitting across from the raven haired Kunoichi, watching her as she began to stir. He nodded respectfully as she froze at the sight of him, but rather than losing her cool, she slowly moved so that her back was to the wall and eyed him warily.

"Don't get so worked up." Kukai instructed, "you've just come out of a coma, you were dying of chakra depletion and exposure when our team found you so I'd advise not moving about."

The raven-haired girl flinched, either from pain or from some unpleasant memory, before eyeing her surroundings warily. "Where am I?" she asked, "This isn't Otogakure."

"You're in the Konohagakure Hospital's restricted area." Kukai revealed honestly "You were brought here as a survivor of whatever Orochimaru did during the battle." He lowered his gaze slightly, "I'm afraid your teammate wasn't so fortunate."

The girl blinked, looking up at the bald man in shock, "Zaku?" she trembled, "He's…dead?"

Kukai nodded, "As is your other compatriot." He admitted, "Killed by Sabaku no Gaara no doubt, the claw marks and sand remnants found on his corpse are testimony to that at least."

Kin sagged, clutching the blanket to herself feebly as her long black hair trailed over her face. "What's…going to happen to me?" she asked, not looking at the man.

"For the moment? Nothing." Kukai stated calmly, "However, depending on your cooperation with future questioning, that may depend on the council." The girl didn't respond, so Kukai stood up, sighing as he did so. "If you need someone to talk to, just ask to see me." He instructed, "My name is Ku Kukai, just ask for Kukai-sensei and they'll contact me right away."

--

"Not a bad haul," Naruto noted, counting the total on the sheet of paper he'd been tallying up, "Plus the winnings, that makes the balance around…500 mil."

Shizune sweatdropped as the teen snickered in a rather vulpine manner, whilst sending an exasperated look at her sensei, who was hugging several sacks to her bosom like they were children. The boy, Naruto as he claimed, had offered them half the winnings, saying it was the least he could do after helping them out. Tsunade had fainted dead away at the sight of so many winnings, only coming around when he waved a couple of bills under her nose.

'Generosity like this hasn't been seen since…ever!' the dark haired medic wondered, looking over at the boy as she tried to calm her master down, 'Not even Kushina, hailed as 'Lady Luck' herself, was like this!'

"You okay Nee-chan?" Naruto called out, snapping the woman from her thoughts, "I hope you're not insulted, it's just if I keep too much of this I'll probably wind up like that baka Ero-sennin."

'Ero-sennin?' Shizune wondered blearily, sighing gratefully as Tsunade finally came to her senses, 'What on earth could he be on about?'

"Man is that the time?" Naruto wondered, checking the time on a shop's clock, "I better meet up with Ero-sennin and the others or they'll have my hide!" He grinned at the two women "You guys wanna come along? Ero-sennin said he'd buy dinner at the bar."

"We're there." Tsunade replied, not one to pass up free food and booze and feeling a little curious about the kid's traveling companions, one didn't see many genin on solo missions after all, "You should be flattered kid, I don't get talked into going to dinner very often."

"I'll bet." Naruto quipped, "Bet you gotta send them packing with a stick, big booby nee-chan."

Shizune chuckled weakly at the comment, knowing it was simply childish teasing that drove the boy, rather than his libido. That, and the fact Tsunade was in a good mood were the only reasons he'd been permitted to get away with calling the sennin that for so long.

"This is the place." Naruto explained, stepping through with a grin and espying Jiraiya scolding the other two for swiping his sake, "OI! ERO-SENNIN!"

--

"DON'T CALL ME-!" Jiraiya trailed off in mid-rant, blinking at the buxom blonde beside his wayward student, whilst, Domon and Recca stared at the woman dumbfounded.

"What the hell?" Recca wondered face redder than a baboon's backside as his eyes locked course due cleavage "Since when do breasts move around on their own?"

"Boobies." Domon agreed intelligently, face going super deformed as his eyes were reduced to two black dots, a faint trail of blood running out his nostril.

"TSUNADE!" Jiraiya yelled suddenly, standing on his chair and putting a foot on the table as he pointed at his teammate in surprise.

"JIRAIYA?!" Tsunade yelled in response, pointing at the white-haired sennin in outright shock "What the hell are YOU doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" Jiraiya repeated, blinking dumbly, "What are YOU doing here?!"

Naruto blinked looking between the two sennin in confusion, before sweat dropping, "Ano…do you two know each other?"

--

Welp, they founded her...now what?

Major: Ve could Vatch Der show?

Monitor: Kakashi is thrown into a room, looking up in horror into the face of Nemesis. He charges a raikiri, only to be implaed by the tentacle.

Kyugan: Seriously, he just stood there as it charged up. What the hell?

Kakashi: (Glares murderously at Nemesis, only to stare in horror at the single, visible Sharingan.) No...it can't be...Obito?

SPLORTCH!

R&R PLZ!

* * *


	37. Chapter 37

Holy S#! on a banana peel! Three in one day!

Major: Da...dere ist something not quite right about zis.

Captain:...

Kyugan: The canine is right( rumages through a box) Here, have a cookie.

Captain: (Catches biscuit)...

* * *

Complete disrespect! Tsunade's Wager!

'I don't believe it.' Jiraiya thought numbly, as the group sat in one of the more private booths in the bar, 'I spend all day trying to find a trace of Tsunade and Naruto manages to just bump into her in a casino?' He snorted, shaking his head in exasperation, 'Ku-chan's luck seems to have rubbed off on him.'

"So your saying big-booby neechan is this old teammate of yours Ero-sennin?" Naruto asked in amazement, Jiraiya choking and moving to silence the boy, lest he trigger the wrath of said well-endowed kunoichi. When no vengeful fists descended upon the teen, the sennin looked over to meet the bored, almost annoyed features of his teammate.

"So what're you doing here?" Tsunade repeated, looking over him flatly "Or did you just come to talk about the good old days?"

"Nah, reminiscing is for old farts and people with too much time on their hands." The Gama sennin snorted, flagging down a few entrees, "Why, you feeling lonely?" he asked, smirking slyly.

"You wish," Tsunade snorted, sipping at some sake dissmissively as she spoke "Just tired of running into familiar faces today, that's all."

"You mean Orochimaru?" Jiraiya asked, the trio snapping to attention at the sound of the serpent's name, Domon wiping the drool from his chin in the process, until the entrees finally arrived. "You two must've had much to talk about."

The burly sennin easily noticed the furtive look Shizune cast towards her master, as well as the glare Tsunade shot back to keep the younger woman silent. Flicking his gaze sideways, he noted that his students were far more concerned with fighting over the salted mackerel than noting her movements.

"Nothing much," Tsunade replied offhandedly, "Just passing by and thought he'd say hello." She leaned over, a slight flush gracing her cheeks as she pointedly ignored the trio, though Shizune did fret as each attempted to devour the others' heads in their attempts to lay claim to the food "So what about you?" the legendary healer asked in a bored tone, "Whadd'ya want with me?"

"I'll get straight to the point," Jiraiya stated, pouring the woman some sake from his own jug, "Tsunade, the village requests that you accept the title of Godaime Hokage."

--

Silence fell over the booth, Tsunade pausing in shock with the sake half way to her lips, Shizune's eyes widening and the trio pausing in the midst of their fistfight to gawk at Jiraiya as if he'd sprouted another head. 'Godaime Hokage?!' they thought in unison, looking between themselves conspiratorially, Domon swallowing the mackerel in the process 'Where in the hell'd THAT come from?!'

"I'm certain that having run into Orochimaru you know the fate of the Sandaime." Jiraiya noted, earning a saddened frown from Shizune as Tsunade finally brought the sake to her lips.

"Orochimaru killed him, right?" the buxom blonde replied lightly, "You're right, I heard it straight from the snake's mouth, so to speak."

The trio froze again, shock lining their faces at the revelation of the Sandaime's killer. Naruto found his tongue first, slapping the table top in anger, "That Ero-hebi from the forest of death?! HE killed Sandaime Ji-chan?!"

"You're kidding!" Domon countered, slapping a hand on the table "The old man was WAY to tough for some old pedophiliac snake to do him in!"

"Yeah!" Recca agreed, ignoring the flush on Shizune's face from his rival's words and the snort of laughter from Jiraiya, "Just who is this Orochimaru bastard anyways?!"

"The third of the Densetsu no sannin," Jiraiya muttered, recovering from Domon's comment, "And the former teammate of both myself and Tsunade."

"The hell's up with that?!" Domon yelled, gripping his head in manic confusion "I thought all three members of the Sannin were from Konoha!"

"Yeah!" Naruto added, slapping the table for emphasis "Why the fuck would he attack his own village like that? He goin' senile or something!"

"And wasn't Saru-ji you're jounin sensei?" Recca asked, looking between the two sennin for confirmation "Why the hell would he kill him?!"

"Who're the brats Jiraiya?" Tsunade asked eyeing the trio mockingly "Don't tell me you've taken up another genin team after the balls you made of the last one."

"Heh, you could say they caught my attention." Jiraiya muttered, nodding towards the annoyed trio, "The big one's Ishijima Domon, he could give YOU a run for your money in the brute strength department."

Tsunade scoffed at this and eyed the largest member of team seven, at first passing him off as many did, a brainless mongoloid with an ugly face, until she sensed the chakra flowing through him, which was already nigh jounin level.

"The kid with the Tekko's Hanabishi Rekka," Jiraiya continued, "He's a member of a new clan that's arrived in Konoha, the Hokage clan."

Tsunade and Shizune blinked at that, eyeing the teen as he glared back. "Kinda presumptuous aren't you?" the blonde smirked, "Taking the village leader's title for your own?"

"The clan's name has existed since it's founding." Jiraiya muttered quickly, catching the fire in his student's eyes, "It was merely a coincidence."

Tsunade snorted dismissively, though she did eye the enjutsu-shi out the corner of her eyes, before flicking her view towards exhibit C, "And the runt?" She asked, "I got your first name but other than that and the fact he's got some pretty good gambling skills nothing else."

"Figure's you'd notice those and nothing else." Jiraiya mocked good naturedly, grinning as she shot him a warning glare "This here's Hanabishi Naruto, Recca's Outoto." He nodded at the blonde, "He's Kushina's kid."

--

Once again Tsunade froze, recalling a certain red-haired, fiery tempered Kunoichi that had been the scourge of many a gambling casino and battlefield alike. Whilst most Kunoichi had preferred Genjutsu and long to mid-range ninjutsu, Kushina had, much like Tsunade, took her opponents head on, with powerful Taijutsu and rapid ninjutsu, favoring those that could be combined with close quarters combat.

She had been notorious as a girl for her bright red hair, odd eyes and her temper which rivaled Tsunade's, but what made her so well known was her ability to fit in, until most of her comrades quite forgot she was a girl and started treating her as 'one of the guys'. She could swear like a sailor, drink like a fish, and was known to have beaten men three times her size even before becoming a jounin. She'd been popular at every social get together, able to laugh off rude jokes and crack back ones that were even worse, and no-one dared to challenge her to games of chance, as her luck was notorious.

In the end though, she'd died in childbirth, the only reason Tsunade knowing of this being the letters she received from Sandaime up until a few years ago, when she'd severed all ties with Konoha.

'Not even lady luck herself could cheat death.' The sennin recalled thinking dimly, eyeing the red ringed eyes before her, 'Yet it seems her luck's rubbed off on her brat…if you consider having the Kyuubi sealed inside you as GOOD.'

"And another thing!" Recca snapped out, snapping the blonde out of her daze "What's with HER becoming the Godaime? I thought we were brining her back to take care of Sensei, Sasuke and Lee!"

"Urusei!" Jiraiya snapped, cowing the boys with a glare, before turning his attention to Tsunade, who was looking non-plussed "Well? Your response?"

--

The blonde kunoichi fell silent again, gazing at the table top whilst the group regarded her carefully, the trio trying to envision HER filling the Hokage robes, and fighting down nose bleeds at the resulting image. "Sorry," she said at length, looking her former teammate in the eyes, "I refuse."

Shizune and the trio flinched, looking at the woman in shock, the latter actually wondering if the woman had her head screwed on right as Jiraiya chuckled. "That line takes me back," the burly sennin noted, "I recall you used to say the same thing every time I asked for a date."

"Hey! What's the big deal here!" Recca yelled, looking irrate "I thought you were picking her up for 'research', the hell's going on!"

"Ah forget it!" Domon swore, "We found her right? Let's just take her back to Konoha and have her heal Sensei, the bastard and Lee!"

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed, "Maybe we can get her head checked while we're there too! I mean she turned down the Hokage title like it was nothing!"

"Calm down." Jiraiya ordered, pushing Naruto back into his seat, "There's no-one more suited to fill the position of Godaime than Tsunade." He looked the woman in the eyes, "Not only did she contribute heavily to Konoha's victory during the war, no-one has ever come close to matching her in regards to battle experience or medical Ninjutsu." He nodded, "Also, she also has unique honour of being the granddaughter of Shodai Hokage, making her a shinobi of the most exalted bloodline."

The trio gaped at this, trying to see something of the Shodai's features in the blonde before them and coming up dry, even as Jiraiya snorted. "If she accepts the Hokage title, she will have to return to Konoha with us," the sennin explained, "There she can easily see to Kakashi and the rest." He shot them a look filled with understanding, "This decision was made by the highest ranking minds in Konoha…the opinions of three genin are moot compared to that."

--

The trio fell into a bitter silence, whilst Tsunade chuckled at the sheer folly of what she was seeing before her. "Ne, Jiraiya, these guys are nothing compared to your old team, all mouth and not a brain among them." She scoffed, "Not much to look at either."

"Well that's not fair." Jiraiya reprimanded, cutting off the yells from the trio, "Nobody could really compare to them." He nodded, "They were all shinobi of unparalleled capacity, overflowing with talent for jutsu, popular amongst their peers." He preened proudly, "Hell, Yondaime got his dashing looks from me after all, and Kushina and Suzuka grew up to be real knockouts!"

"…but even with all that going for them, your team was still wiped out prematurely." Tsunade noted sadly, "Sacrificing their happiness for the sake of the village…"

The group fell silent, eyeing the female sannin as she stared at her sake cup, before taking a deep chug of the stuff. "Life's not like money," Tsunade stated with a wry smirk, "To risk it all and just throw it away recklessly is a fools errand."

The trio grit their teeth as one, knuckles whitening beneath the table as they glared at the woman.

"They say my grandfather and his brother the Nidaime wished to end the hostilities within their lifetime," Tsunade noted, "yet in the end they died for the sake of their village, their dreams unfulfilled."

"You've changed Tsunade." Jiraiya opined flatly, looking his former teammate in the eye solemnly, "I don't know how long you've been thinking such morbid thoughts, but to be voicing them aloud, even under the influence of sake…"

"Hmmph, I'm in my fifties you know," the kunoichi noted bitterly, titling her head slightly to look the man in the eyes, "and besides, times change people." She scoffed and waved a dismissive hand before her face, "Same could be said for Sarutobi-sensei," she added, "if some doddering old geezer tries to relive his glory days of course he's gonna croak."

Jiraiya scowled, whilst under the tables, three pairs of knuckles popped audibly enough to draw the attention of Shizune and Ton-ton, who gazed at the looks of fury on the trio's faces in surprise.

"The tile of Hokage's a joke." Tsunade stated at length, looking her teammate in the eyes, face set in stone, "Only a fool would want it."

--

No sooner had the words left the woman's mouth when she was shoved to the side by Shizune. Looking over at the woman in shock, Tsunade blinked as a massive fist pulverized the space her face had previously occupied, smashing a massive hole in the wall large enough to fit a cart. She quickly rolled aside as another fist shot towards her, deflecting several blows from the other teens, even as Jiraiya put Domon and Recca in a headlock.

"Calm the fuck down!" the sennin growled, gripped Naruto's belt in his teeth to keep the blonde from charging forwards, "This is a bar! And just who do you think is paying for that wall?!"

"LET US GO!" Recca snarled, clawing towards the shocked Tsunade like a wild animal, wisps of flame rising off his tekko in his ire.

"YEAH!" Domon opined, straining against the sennin's impressive strength like a tethered ox "WE'RE NOT JUST GONNA SIT HERE WHILE SOME WASHED UP, DRUNKEN OLD HAG INSULTS THE OLD MAN!"

Tsunade scowled at that, and was about to get to her feet when Naruto slammed his foot into Jiraiya's crotch, catching the man off guard and releasing the trio. "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU'RE A LADY!" the blonde snarled, eyes flashing between a stormy blue and a murderous red, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR INSULTING SANDAIME-JIJI!"

For a few minutes, everything was silent in the bar, the trio seething at Tsunade whilst Shizune worried over the trembling form of Jiraiya, who was nursing his family jewels. Then the female sennin smirked and placed her foot on the table, leering into the trio's eyes with a look of confidence.

"Well you three certainly aren't lacking in the balls department," she noted, "Challenging me to my face like that." She tilted her head towards the impromptu exit Domon created, smirking all the while, "C'mon, we'll settle this outside."

"Tsu-Tsunade-sama!" Shizune implored, only to be ignored as the woman led the trio outside into the street, deciding to help Jiraiya hobble out, rather than leave him on the floor.

"Dammit brats," the sennin growled, clutching his jewels in one hand as he used the other to support himself on Shizune's shoulder, "Those mouths of yours just bit off more than you can chew!"

"Jiraiya-sama!" Shizune begged imploringly, stumbling slightly under the large man;s weight "You have to stop them! Tsunade-sama's not herself!"

"Tell me about it," the sennin muttered sarcastically, wincing as the yelling began anew "but there's little I can do about those idiots, let 'em learn the hard way what it means to piss off the infamous Tsunade-Hime."

--

The crescent moon shone high above the group, Jiraiya leaning on the wall on one side whilst Shizune stood on the other; ready to rush in should the group require medical assistance, as was normally the case when Tsunade lost her temper.

"Despite my appearance I AM one of the densetzu no sannin." Tsunade boasted, smirking with her eyes closed, "Even facing three genin there's no need to go all-out." She smirked at the looks of outrage on the trio's faces, before holding up a finger, "This one finger's all I need to take you brats out."

"We'll see about that!" the trio yelled, splitting apart, Recca and Naruto flanking the sides whilst Domon charged Tsunade outright.

'Pretty clever.' The medic admitted, 'trying to catch me off guard by coming from all sides.' She smirked, shaking her head dismissively 'Still nowhere near good en-eh?'

"Shuriken Kage bunshin no jutsu!" Naruto called out, a swarm of throwing stars raining down towards the blonde sennin, catching her off guard as she backtracked to avoid them. "Aniki!" he yelled, drawing Tsunade's attention to the figure to her right.

"Katon: Housenka!" Recca called out, launching several miniature fireballs at the woman, forcing Tsunade into the air as she leapt to avoid the blast as they detonated beneath her.

'Such teamwork!' she wondered, 'I haven't seen a group that complimented each other this well since the Ino-Shika-Cho!' She winced as she realized she'd lost sight of Domon, only to blink as something blotted out the moon, looking up to reveal a massive shadow with a shaved head descending from above, fists at the ready.

"GUNAREI MOHAWK HEAD!" the giant roared, ramming his skull down, barely missing Tsunade and pulverizing the earth as he crashed into it headfirst.

"Tsu-Tsunade-sama!" Shizune called out, concern for her master shining through, sighing in relief as the woman landed just outside the dust.

'What a monster.' The sennin wondered shakily, even as Domon got to his feet, looking none the worse after his collision with the ground, 'Did he even FEEL that?!' she eyed the other two warily, 'and those two…their teamwork is extraordinary!' she shot a look at Jiraiya, who was smirking at her smugly, 'You bastard…where'd you FIND these kids?!'

--

"Still think we're not worth you're time?" Recca mocked, cracking his knuckles confidently, "Looks like you're losing your touch in your old age."

"Yeah," Domon agreed, "Even old man Sarutobi could whup us faster than this," he snorted, "Heck, this one time he took us down without even letting go of his pipe!"

"So don't you go around dissing the old man!" Naruto bit out, pointing at the woman angrily "You're not even HALF his age and already you're on the defensive!"

"Oh?" Tsunade asked, a vein pulsing in her forehead, "Is that a fact?" she cracked her knuckles angrily, even as Shizune looked on in terror, "Playtimes over brats, time you learned some respect."

Domon blinked, and was suddenly sent flying, Recca and Naruto pushing against him, the latter with a dent in his stomach. 'What the hell?!' the giant wondered, landing on his feet and catching the others, even as he skidded back, 'Naruto got punched but she sent ALL of us flying!' He blinked, looking from the coughing blonde to Tsunade in awe, 'No…not punched…she…FLICKED him?!'

"You see?" Tsunade boasted, raising her pointer finger mockingly, "One finger's all I'll need to deal with you."

The trio exploded, leaping to take all sides again, only for Tsunade to appear before Recca, jabbing her finger into his midriff, driving out all the air from the teen's body. "Katon jutsu rely on the lungs to supply oxygen." Tsunade lectured, "If you can't breath you can't release the jutsu." With that she used her grip on his clothes to toss him into the path of Naruto. "And Shadow jutsu like Kage bunshin may surprise the opponent once, but if you can predict the users next move you've got it shielded.

"Who said I was using Kage bunshin?" the blonde mocked, catching his aniki even as the force of the blow sent him sprawling to the ground, "We figured you'd go after one of us, so we drew your attention!"

Tsunade blinked, realizing too late that Domon had disappeared once again. Not one to fall for the same trick twice, she checked above her first, before realizing immediately what was going on. "That washed up old trick won't work on me!" she yelled, before jabbing her finger into the earth with a roar. The road divided, sending out a shockwave that revealed a rather terrified Domon, who leapt out of the crevice, only to blink at the sight of Tsunade's finger in his face before everything went starry.

--

"You see?" Tsunade mocked, sniffing as the giant sprawled out on his back, his teammates having caught him as he hit the ground, "You could keep that up all night, it won't change a thing."

"Fuck you, you old hag!" Domon swore, giving the sennin the finger as he sat up, a small mark on his forehead from where she'd flicked him.

"Yeah, we don't go down that easily!" Recca opined, holding some gunpowder balls between his fingers. "We're ready to keep going!"

"Even if it takes all night, we'll make you regret insulting the Hokage!" Naruto grit out, pointing at the woman confidently.

Tsunade frowned at the trio, put off at their lack of respect and fear. Normally whenever she completely owned someone like that they'd either be out cold or begging for mercy by this point. Yet here these three were, defying all logic by standing against her, simply for insulting the Hokage?"

"Kid," she called out, nodding towards Naruto, who seemed the most worked up over everything, "I got one question before you pass out…just why the hell are you so worked up about the Hokage title?"

Naruto stared at the woman for a moment, before smirking confidently as he laughed tiredly, "Because unlike you…I want that title myself one day!" he replied, looking the woman in the eyes, unaware of the spectral faces she saw behind him. "Because to become Hokage…is my dream!"

Tsunade flinched, her brown eyes widening in disbelief at the words that the child uttered, the images of her beloved lover and brother hovering behind him, their eyes mirroring his resolve and passion for the title.

'Dear God,' she swore, hands trembling as she fought the desire to fall to her knees, 'he even has Nawaki's face…his drive…his attitude!' she stared into the teen's face in shock, even as the images faded away, 'How could he…want something so dangerous?'

The necklace around her neck seemed to shine briefly, causing her to lower her head to regard it carefully, though it appeared she was gazing at the ground.

--

(Hey, she dropped her guard!) Naruto signed, not making a sound lest it caught the sennin's attention, (Listen, if you guys can distract her for about a few seconds, I can come at her with Rasengan!)

(But you haven't mastered it yet!) Domon signed back, looking between his teammate and the distracted kunoichi in concern and not a little dubious (What if you screw up?)

(Times like this call for desperate measures,) Recca opined, (We can't go all out against a fellow shinobi, even if she DID insult the old man.) he nodded at Naruto, (We'll do what we can, make it count.)

--

Tsunade blinked as several spheres were hurled in her direction, snapping her out of her daze. The blonde sannin swatted them aside, only to yell as they exploded on contact, the gunpowder detonating and blinding her with smoke and pain. "What the hell?!" she roared, only to flinch as she sensed a movement in the air, ducking aside to avoid a haymaker from Domon, the teen quickly shifting up a gear to unleash a barrage of high speed punches that could flatten a plough horse.

"ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA!" Domon bellowed, his face somehow resembling a certain bad tempered spirit, headband and all, as he attempted to flatten the woman before him. Tsunade merely weaved between the blows, surprised at the force behind them, but years of experience enabling her to predict the teen's pattern. Sure enough she found and opening, and jabbed her finger into the space between his arm joint, paralyzing him before sending him flying into Recca with a flick to the chin.

"Is that the best you can do?" she taunted, only to blink as a sudden surge in chakra rushed towards her, spinning round just in time for Naruto to ram a VERY familiar chakra spiral into her midriff.

'Is That-?!' she began, only to sigh in relief as the sphere shattered as it made contact, sending the blonde flying backwards as the chakra escaped. To her horror however, the backlash also destroyed her top, leaving her exposed from the waist up.

"NICE NARUTO!" Jiraiya cackled, nose bleeding and giving the teen two thumbs up, whilst Shizune gawked at her master in embarrassment "I TAUGHT YOU WELL MY STUDENT!"

"JIRAIYA NO HENTAI!" Tsunade bellowed, upper cutting the sennin in a manner oddly reminiscent of a certain pair of Todai hopefuls, the sennin slamming through a wall, eliciting a number of shrieks, before being punted through it again to crash in a heap at his former teammate's feet.

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any stupider!" Tsunade reprimanded, kicking the prone man repeatedly, "You go so far as to teach the Rasengan to a kid like that?!"

"I'm his mentor." Jiraiya replied, getting to his feet with little more than a groan despite the agony he'd endured, removing his outer coat as he spoke "And besides, he certainly has the talent."

"Feh," Tsunade muttered, wrapping the red coat about her with a flush, noting the warmth it provided, "Reminiscing the old days by passing on a jutsu like that?" she scolded, "It's stupidity like that that puts the whole 'I'm gonna be Hokage' crap into kids heads!"

"It isn't crap!" Naruto yelled, getting to his feet with a yell, the other two, standing behind him, at the ready, "And I'll prove it! Gimme three days and I'll not only master this Jutsu, I'll ram it down your throat!"

"Yeah!" Recca agreed, Domon cracking his knuckles beside him, "Give us ALL three days, we'll come back stronger than you'd dream of!"

--

Tsunade snorted, eyeing the trio, and the determination in their eyes with almost fond mockery, "Hmmph, bold words brats," she admitted, "But a man's word should never be broken you know."

"You obviously don't know us very well," Naruto replied with a smirk, pointing at himself as the others matched his smirk with their own, "There isn't a man among us who'd go back on his word…that's our Nindo!"

Jiraiya beamed at the trio, even as Shizune and Ton-ton stared at them in wonder. Tsunade merely smirked, fingering her necklace as she did. "Alright then," she began, "Lets make a little wager." She smirked at their looks of confusion, "I'll give you a week, if all three of you can become strong enough to face me in that time, I'll acknowledge you as Shinobi worthy of the Hokage name." She flicked the necklace, "I'll even throw in this if blondie can master the rasengan."

"Tsunade-sama you mustn't!" Shizune rebuked, looking at the stone around the woman's neck in terror, "That, that necklace is-!"

"The hell would a man want with a piece of crap like that?" Domon muttered, eyeing the rather plain lump of emerald with a deadpan expression.

"Yeah," Recca opined, mimicking his rivals disdain for the rock "Looks pretty cheap to me, can't be worth much if you're betting it like that."

"Fools," Jiraiya opined, cutting off Tsunade's growing look of ire "That necklace is an heirloom of the Shodai Hokage, it is said to be carved from a rare ore, so rare that selling the necklace could buy three gold mines and the mountains on top of them."

The trio stared at the necklace; slack-jawed and bug-eyed, snot running from their noses at the sheer thought of that much wealth hanging around someone's neck. Jiraiya merely sighed at the looks on their faces, though he had to admit his reaction had been pretty much the same when HE'D found out, all those years ago.

"However," Tsunade called out, "if you fail to master it, you lose," she held up three money pouches, "And all your money is mine."

--

The trio gasped in horror as they realized that the scrolls they'd stored their money in were gone as well, not noticing the distraught look on Shizune's face, as the attendant eyed her master concernedly. 'Tsunade-sama…' the young medic thought, 'She's NEVER wagered that necklace, no matter what happened.' Shaking herself, the young woman realized her master had called out to her to follow, trying once again to get an answer out of the older medic.

"They'll never manage it." Tsunade assured her, waving a hand dismissively "Now let's get back to the inn."

Shizune bowed her head, recalling Orochimaru's attendant's words, fearing in her heart that her master may have already reached a decision about the proposal. Therefore it was much to her relief when Jiraiya called out, snapping her attention away from such morbid thoughts.

"Tsunade," the toad sennin called out, "Why don't the two of us go out drinking for a bit?" he nodded over his shoulder, "You know, for old times' sake?" He nodded towards Shizune, who blinked as he smiled at her, "Sorry to trouble you Shizune, but could you make sure those baka-deshi of mine stay out of trouble? They can help you find the night's lodgings."

Shizune bowed gratefully, mentally thanking the sennin for keeping an eye on her master, as she really couldn't face the woman at the moment, before turning to face the trio, who were muttering amongst themselves. "Shall we get going?" she asked politely, to which there were a round of childish mutters, making her giggle as she recalled they were still only genin.

"OY!" a loud voice yelled, causing the group to gaze in horror at the pissed features of the owner of the bar they'd ruined "WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR MY WALL?!"

Shizune blinked as a strong set of arms scooped her up bridal style and leapt up with her in the air, looking up to see a sweating Domon, flanked by an equally nervous Recca and Naruto as they fled the scene, ton-ton tucked under the blonde's arm. "Standard procedure for traveling with Jiraiya-sama?" she asked, to which the trio nodded, "I can relate, people always start yelling about money wherever Tsunade-sama goes too."

"Can't imagine why." Recca noted sarcastically, noting the two sennin had also made their escape "I wonder if Ero-hebi has these kinds of problems?"

--

Orochimaru hissed in anger as he swallowed the Kusanagi no ken, having just dispatched some little weasel who had DARED to assign him a tax audit. Did they honestly think he had the time to balance his accounts?!

"KABUTO!" he hissed, "FETCH ME MY SEDATIVES!"

--

THree in a row...I need help...or Decaf.

Wesker: So you do.

Major: Da, Coffee is bad for you.

R&R, plz!

* * *


	38. Chapter 38

Another marathon upload!

Major: dis isn't good...

Wesker: How so?

Major: This place ist held together by his vill...if he snaps...

Hellboy: Oh...Crap.

* * *

Necklace of death! The resolve of dreamers!

"There ya go." The bartender stated, setting a sake jar before a certain pair of sennin. Jiraiya nodded at the man, before turning to regard a somber Tsunade, who was nursing her own jar with a tired expression. 'She's just as beautiful as ever.' The sennin sighed, recalling the good old days, when he'd frequently ask her out, only to receive an uppercut to the face, 'No matter how many times I see her, she just doesn't lose her appeal.' He chuckled to himself wistfully, shaking his head.

"You keep getting prettier every time I see you." He stated, one of his most common opening lines for their conversations, as it always earned a grudging scoff, as it did now.

"And you're the same as ever". Tsunade replied, the standard response, "I'm not sure if your memory's gone yet, but let me remind you that I'm still not interested in you."

Jiraiya snorted good-naturedly, used to the rejection by now, it was almost considered routine between them. "I don't got the hots for you neither." He shot back, to which his teammate scoffed, the two taking the traditional chug of sake afterwards. "Besides," he added, "Who'd have the hots for an old hag anyways?"

"You say something?" Tsunade growled, glaring out the corner of her eyes, to which Jiraiya merely chuckled, the two falling into a somber silence once again.

"Does it bother you?" Jiraiya asked at length, earning a look of confusion from his usually pridefull teammate "The brats I mean."

"Why would it?" Tsunade replied flippantly, though she did avoid looking at her eternally perssistant teammate, a flush on her cheeks.

"Well, it WAS rather immature, challenging them like that." Jiraiya stated with a chuckle, "And speaking of challenges, those kids may be something else, but Naruto only reached the second stage through sheer stubbornness and the fox's chakra." He snorted mockingly, "Even I'M not ballsy enough to call THAT bet."

Tsunade was silent for a moment, frowning through the flush on her face, allowing Jiraiya time to read her. "What are you so worked up for?" he asked, causing her to flinch.

"I'm NOT worked up!" the female sennin snapped back, though she didn't have the gall to look him in the eyes, earning another snort from the man.

"You meeting up with Orochimaru later?" he asked, causing Tsunade to snap to attention and regard the smirk on her teammate's face warily, cursing as she recalled he'd been keeping tabs on the snake for years. "It was written all over Shizune's face." Jiraiya stated, looking forwards with a hazy grin on his own, "Now I don't know what kind of offer that serpentine bastard offered you…but don't just rush into it." He reached for his sake, pausing as he lifted it, "Oh and…one more thing…"

Tsunade watched as he raised the flask off the counter, noting from his posture that her partner still retained his high alcohol tolerance. After all, Jiraiya was the only one who could keep pace with her in drinking competitions, Orochimaru not being one for spirits.

"All of those who've born the Hokage title risked their lives to ensure the safety of Konoha and all who call it home." Jiraiya lectured, tilting his flask slightly, "They held the reigns through those troubled times, guiding the village towards it's current prosperity..." he paused for effect, knowing his teammate was listening, "They bet their lives for that dream."

Tsunade flinched at the man's choice of words, recalling how the carved faces of her Grandfather and great-uncle would gaze down upon her all those years ago, even while Sarutobi-sensei was still alive.

"I highly doubt you can't understand their feelings," Jiraiya stated, "But…if you ever do anything to betray Konoha…"

The gama sennin turned to regard his teammate, the flush from the alcohol gone without a trace as he leveled her a glare that would have stopped the heart of anyone who didn't know him as well as she did.

"If that happens," he warned, "then I will personally hunt you down and kill you."

Tsunade eyed the man with an almost bored expression, though she understood the severity of the statement all the same. "You think that bothers me in the slightest?" she deadpanned, turning her head to the side, to which Jiraiya rolled his eyes.

"Only a psychopath would feel no remorse for the death of a loved one." He stated, to which he received no reply, "But you're the opposite," he continued "You were one who put the safety of the villagers above all else…especially after that day-"

"Enough with the damn lecture!" Tsunade snapped, falling silent as she gazed at the counter with her head lowered, before lifting it to reveal troubled brown eyes "Why…did you bring that brat with you?" she asked, her voice filled with sadness as she recalled his dream for the Hokage title.

"Uncanny isn't it?" Jiraiya replied with a grin, "their even about the same age, now that I think about it."

Tsunade said nothing, as the image of Naruto was slowly replaced by a brown haired teen with the same light brown eyes of the female sennin, two flush marks adorning his cheeks in lieu of whiskers.

--

Flashback

"_Taking so many risks, do you want to die?" a younger Tsunade muttered, as she applied a gauze pad to the side of her outoto's face, "You're still only a genin Nawaki, there's no shame in steering clear of the battlefield!"_

_"How can you tell a man to just run away?!" Nawaki yelled, "I'm a shinobi of the leaf! What kind of coward would just turn his back on the enemy!?"_

End Flashback

--

'Their dream…' Tsunade recalled, gazing sorrowfully at the counter, as her outoto's words died away 'their enthusiasm…everything about them is the same…'

--

"YOSHA!" Recca swore, slapping a plan he'd tacked to the wall, crude stick figures of the trio, Jiraiya and even Tsunade, with massive circles for her chest, scattered about it "The time limit is one week!" he yelled, "In that time we gotta get strong enough to take her on or die trying! Any questions?"

"Yeah," Domon muttered, raising a hand as he and Naruto knelt seiza style on the floor like students, "Why do your drawings suck so bad?"

"Any other questions?" Recca asked, after pummeling Domon and sketching on the giant's face with marker.

Naruto shot Domon a look of concern, just as the door knocked, the trio snapping to attention as Shizune stuck her head in. "I'm sorry for bothering you so late." She stated, a serious look on her face "However, there's something I think the three of you should know."

"Important?" Naruto repeated, eyes closed in their usual vulpine manner, "What is it Shizune-neechan?"

"Can't it wait till morning?" Domon muttered, popping his neck back into place, "We need to get an early start tomorrow if we hope to get the drop on that old bag's challenge."

"I'm sorry," Shizune offered, "but I don't want you to get the wrong opinion of Tsunade-sama…and…" she nodded, "I also want to explain about that necklace."

"The hell do we care about that old bat?" Recca muttered, nostrils flaring angrily as he recalled the beat down she'd given them.

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, looking equally annoyed at the mention of the sennin "She's a washed up, miserable old hag that just can't stand it when someone questions her-"

"TSUNADE-SAMA ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK SHE IS!" Shizune snapped, startling the trio with her volume, "DON'T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING!"

The trio stared at the normally meek assistant in shock, as she gasped for breath, looking at the ground in embarrassment. "I-I'm sorry for yelling at you," she muttered, looking abashed "Tsunade-sama wasn't always like this though…she was kind and compassionate, with nothing but love for Konoha and it's citizens, just like the late sandaime-sama." She lowered her head again, "but ever since that day…she changed."

"That day?" Recca wondered, leaning against the wall on one leg as he looked at the medic as she fell silent, "What happened?"

"Yeah," Domon muttered, sitting cross-legged on the floor, palms on his knees, "Must've been pretty harsh to change someone as tough as her."

"Shizune-neechan." Naruto muttered from his spot on the bed, "Was it really…something that bad?"

Shizune nodded, looking the trio in the eyes with a serious expression on her face. "On that day," she muttered "Tsunade lost her dreams, her love…even her hope." She noted the looks of shock on their faces before continuing, "All that remained after that…was the necklace, weighted down with those memories."

"The necklace she wagered in the bet?" Recca recalled, earning a nod in reply, "What's so special about it?"

"That necklace is as precious to Tsunade-sama as her own life," Shizune explained, "It isn't something that should be so casually wagered on a bet, even if she was drunk to the gills."

"How the heck were WE supposed to know THAT?!" Domon countered, slapping his knee for emphasis, "She's the one that put the stupid thing on the table!"

"Furthermore," Shizune continued, "that necklace was not meant for the likes of you!" she noted the looks of anger on their faces and raised a hand, "Let me rephrase that," she assured them "It's not just some lump of jewelry…the necklace only acknowledges Tsunade-sama." She shivered as she recalled the bloody history of the gem, "Anyone else that attempts to wear it…"

--

Tsunade sat atop the archway leading to the steps of Tanzaku-gai, gazing at the emerald stone that lay across her ample bosom with an unguarded face.

"_I can't believe you still hang onto that thing."_ Jiraiya had noted with drunken cheerfulness at the bar, _"I was certain you'd have lost it in a wager by now."_

It had been a joke, one which she knew the man hadn't meant anything by. After all, he was one of the only ones who knew the full weight that the small gem around her neck truly carried…the weight of two precious lives.

--

Flashback

_"Happy twelfth birthday Nawaki!" a younger Tsunade chirped, passing a carefully wrapped present to her Outoto as they leant against the railing on their roof._

"_Aw sis-!" the brunette muttered, pouting in embarrassment, "You know I'm not a kid anymore, so quit buying me presents!"_

"_Yeah right," Tsunade scoffed, shaking her head, "You're still a child compared to me…now hurry up and open the stupid thing!" she smiled down at him teasingly, "I'll bet you're gonna love it."_

"_With YOUR track record?" Nawaki muttered, earning a warning glare as he unwrapped the box, blinking in shock as he pulled out the contents. "Nee-chan…" he stammered, "Isn't this-?!"_

"_Yup!" Tsunade chirped, smiling down at the stunned genin "our Oji-sama, the Shodai Hokage's necklace!" she blinked as the boy lunged at her in a full body hug, chuckling as he proclaimed his eternal love for her, "I figured you should have it." She chuckled, ruffling his hair, "after all you've always had your eye on it, just take care of it 'kay?"_

"_Not just the necklace!" Nawaki proclaimed, letting go of her waist and stepping back so she could see him, "Konoha itself was Grandpa's treasure! And I'm gonna defend it!" He grinned and pointed at himself with his thumb, "'cause I'm the grandson of the Shodai Hokage!"_

"_Ho?" Tsunade teased, leaning over with her hands on her hips "Big words, but a man's word should never be broken, you know that right?"_

"_Yup!" Nawaki replied with a grin, "One day I'm gonna be as strong as Ji-chan, and be granted the title of Hokage!" he smiled up at his sister proudly, "'cause being hokage is my dream!"_

_Tsunade smiled, her eyes closed as she felt pride at her outoto's determination, before leaning forward to grip his headband. "Take off you headband Nawaki," she asked, smiling at his look of confusion, "Just do it, I've one more gift for you…a good luck charm…to ensure you get your dream."_

_She kissed his forehead, Nawaki blinking in confusion, before grinning like the twelve-year-old he was, Tsunade grinning along with him as they ran off into the village._

_Scene change_

_The rain poured down heavily, drenching Konoha, and all of Hi no kuni in it's cold embrace._

_Tsunade panted, having run all the way from her home, eyes wide in disbelief as she stared down the hallway like a deer caught in the headlights. At one side stood Orochimaru, leaning against the wall with a hand inside his kimono, to her right stood Jiraiya, who had accompanied her here after hearing the news, his face deadly serious._

_As if in a daze, the blonde kunoichi made to walk towards the table at the end of the hall, upon which lay a still form, covered in a cloth, only for one of Jiraiya's strong hands to hold her in place, snapping her back to reality._

"_You probably oughtn't look at the body." The normally perverted man muttered consolingly, his grip on her shoulder firm yet gentle. Tsunade gazed at the man as if seeing him for the first time, never knowing her white-haired teammate to be so considerate, only for a dark chuckle to catch their attention._

"_Why not?" Orochimaru asked coyly, "It's not like she'd be able to recognize anything anyway…"_

"_Shut it Orochimaru!" Jiraiya barked, stepping towards his rival with a growl, only to pause as he almost bumped into Tsunade, the woman staring at the serpent in confusion._

"_We ARE in the midst of a war you know," Orochimaru stated calmly, "This is the inevitable fate of all shinobi, since there aren't any medic on a battlefield." He snorted, pulling out his hand and holding up the contents he'd stashed within, earning a horrified gasp from Tsunade, "but then, children are so excitable aren't they?" he chuckled, dangling the necklace from a pale finger, "Especially the day after receiving presents."_

--

Tsunade grimaced as she recalled the aftermath of that day, how she'd sworn to uphold her outoto's dream of defending the village as best she could. But she was only one shinobi amongst hundreds, a member of the prodigal sannin team, but still only one, and there was a limit to how much a single medic could do.

So she'd moved to have the medical corps installed, and for all 4-man teams to be sent out with at least one member competent in medical ninjutsu…

--

_"I understand what you're trying to say, Tsunade." Sarutobi admitted solemnly, "but we are currently in the middle of a war, not only do we lack the time and resources, we also lack the knowledge to properly train said individuals." He shook his head solemnly, "The enemy won't sit around and wait for as after all…"_

"_Listen you old fart!" the sennin snapped, her infamous temper rearing it's ugly head at her sensei's stubbornness, "just when the hell do you suggest that we-?!"_

"_I agree with the motion." A calm voice called out, startling the sannin out of her tirade to blink at the silver haired jounin as he got to his feet, "I don't want to waste the deaths of our fallen comrades." He continued, "We should learn from their losses and prepare ourselves._

--

'That was the first time I met Dan.' Tsunade recalled, 'I was so shocked, that someone other than myself felt so strongly about the need for medics on the field.'

She recalled her first actual conversation with the man, her heart aching at those bittersweet memories. The two had been so similar, both having lost younger siblings to the war, the only difference being that Dan still had his niece to look out for.

Tsunade suppressed a chuckle at how Shizune had freaked at learning her Uncle was dating the 'Legendary Tsunade-Hime', even to this day it was amusing to watch the young woman's reactions, particularly those that made her shriek.

She gripped the necklace tightly, recalling that fateful day on the bridge, how once again she had tempted fate by entrusting her grandfather's gem to another, how she'd even sent him off with a kiss like her brother…

--

Flashback

_It was raining again, this time however, Tsunade didn't have the luxury of having a roof over her head. The rain drenched her from head to foot, as she knelt over the prone form of Dan, the necklace bare to all due to his open flak jacket as she tried to heal his ruptured kidney._

_"Tsunade…" her lover had gasped weakly, "I…d-don't…want to die yet…" he continued to gaze into the unforgiving canopy, even as the rain fell on his bloodied face, "th-there's still…so much I want…to do…"_

_"Don't talk Dan!" Tsunade ordered, her chakra humming away as she focused all her attention on his wound, as their teammates kept watch._

_'The kidney's completely blown to bits' the grim faced jounin noted bitterly, 'it's no use, restoring an entire organ is impossible, even for Tsunade-Hime of the Densetzu no Sannin.'_

_"I can't…" Dan hacked, looking upwards the entire time, "I can't afford…to die…here…"_

_"Don't worry! I stopped the bleeding!" Tsunade lied, trembling with desperation as she smiled at her lover desperately, "You're in the clear now! You'll live Dan!"_

_"Really…" Dan asked wonderingly, his eyelids shutting as he exhaled, a smile on his face all the while "that's…great…"_

_Silence fell over the group, save for the humming of Tsunade's chakra ash she focused all her attention into healing the silent man's wounds. The sheer amount of chakra only proved to agitate the wound, the blood spurting out rather than healing._

_"Stop it-!" Tsunade muttered, "stop spurting!" she began to push down on the wound, even as her reserves continued to deplete, "Yammero…Yammero! YAMMERO-!" she began to shake with hysterics, her voice rising in desperation, "YAMMERO!"_

_"Yammero!" the jounin from earlier ordered, gripping her shoulder in urgency even as he understood her pain "He's already dead!"_

_Tsunade shook, coming to her senses at those words, gazing in horror at her hands, which had actually sunk into Dan's wound, the chakra causing it to gather on her palms like treacle as she breathed heavily._

End Flashback

--

Back in the present, Tsunade buried her head in her knees, arms wrapped around her legs as she tried to drive off the memory of the rain as it echoed in her mind, the terror she'd felt, the desperation, everything she thought she had drowned in sake and money came rising to the surface, as a result of the words of one hotheaded little brat.

--

The trio reeled in shock, the sheer impact of the necklace's bloody history having stunned them into silence. Their faces were shadowed as they listened on, taking in everything Shizune told them with their heads lowered in respect.

"Now do you understand?" Shizune implored, looking at the trio each in turn, "Ever since that day, Tsunade-sama has struggled with the weight of those lives." She gripped her kimono front sadly, "her heart was torn asunder, all that remains is the necklace."

Naruto stood up from the bed slowly, the other two following his lead as they marched as one to the door of the room, earning a look of confusion from Shizune.

"W-where are you all going?" she asked, looking at their backs in confusion, and a little concern "what are you going to-?"

"We're going to train." Naruto stated, cutting off the medic in mid query as he turned to face her, eyes showing a resolve she hadn't seen in years, "we're going to train, and win that cursed thing off Baachan."

"Wha-weren't you listening?!" Shizune implored, holding her hands out wide "That necklace won't acknowledge anyone but Tsunade-sama!"

"Don't care." Domon growled, his face like some grim, determined gargoyle "we're not doing it for the stupid stone anyways, it's worthless to us."

"Yeah," Recca replied somberly, a fire burning in the depths of his eyes "the only reason we're doing this…is to knock some sense into that old bat."

"There's nothing wrong with dreaming," Naruto added, looking the confused medic in the eye, "And we're gonna remind her of that whether she likes it or not!"

--

"I know we said that back then…" Recca panted, later on that day, as he lay flat on his back, "But still…this is crazy!"

Domon grunted, having a higher pain threshold than his rival, the giant had been going at it for longer, but neither had made any real headway, even WITH Naruto guiding them through the first step. 'I can visualize the chakra dancing about like crazy.' He muttered, 'but every time I try making it spin it just dissipates.'

Off to the side, Naruto was working on perfecting stage three, gasping for breath as he glared at the trees he'd decorated with spiral carvings. 'Any other day I'd make a crack about marking my territory.' He muttered, 'but this is serious…how the hell can I pull this off in a week?'

Recca grunted and got to his feet, grimacing as he tried to make the chakra dance wildly, 'Dammit, you'd think with all the control I've got this'd be…!' He paused suddenly, before letting out a chuckle as he shook his head, "Control…" he muttered "That's the problem isn't it?" He grinned at Domon who smirked as he caught onto what the enjutsu-shi was thinking.

"If controlling the chakra don't work." The giant rumbled, gripping his wrist as he got to his feet, "Then just let it go nuts!"

Naruto blinked as he felt a surge in the chakra behind him, blinking in shock at the sight of Recca and Domon channeling rapid bursts of chakra into the balloon, as if egging each other on. 'Well,' he muttered, 'at least they have the gist of it.'

--

Kagero blinked as Fuko pranced into the room, cuddling something green to her ample bosom in glee and doing random pirouettes along the hall. "Is something the matter Fuko-chan?" the immortal kunoichi asked, only to blink as a green flak jacket was held out to her.

"I got promoted!" the fujin mistress cheered, hugging the Konoha chunin vest tightly again, "Ooh, wait till the guys get back! They'll flip that I got promoted before they did!"

"You're only the second to find out." Tokiya cut in, walking in with his chunin vest over his kimono robes "And you aren't officially promoted until the Godaime Hokage's signature is place3d on the documents, so I wouldn't go celebrating just yet.

"Boo!" Fuko shot back, blowing a raspberry at the bishounen, much to his irritation "If that's the case, why are you wearing yours?"

"I asked if I could take a picture." Haku replied, smiling serenely as Tokiya flushed slightly "Don't you think he looks handsome in it?"

"Too bad his attitude stinks." Kaoru chirped cheekily from his spot at the table, only to yelp as an icicle nearly nailed his ear to the wall.

"That was a warning shot," Tokiya muttered walking passed the terrified boy with his head held high "The next time I won't be so considerate."

'If that's considerate I'd hate ta see rude.' Kaoru muttered, wisely keeping his words to himself until the swordsman vanished to his own quarters "Hey, Kagero-san, Konohamaru and I are heading out later."

"Don't stay out too long." Kagero warned, a kind smile on her face "And if you see Saicho san, tell him he's due for an appointment."

"Say Kagero," Fuko opined as the Recca-clone disappeared "who's this Godaime supposed to be? Another old perv like Sandaime?"

"Apparently she's a world renowned medic that trained under Sarutobi-dono." Kagero replied, continuing with her needlework as she spoke "She's also supposed to be the granddaughter of Shodai Hokage-sama, the founder of the leaf."

"So she's practically royalty huh?" Fuko whistled, looking impressed as she sat next to the immortal "And it's about time for a female Hokage, nothing but old fuddy-duddy's makes a place boring."

"As you say." Kagero replied calmly, though internally she agreed with the wind mistress entirely.

--

Jiraiya yawned as he opened his eyes, wincing as the merciless sun beat down on his poor eyes. "Damn Tsunade and her alcohol tolerance…" he cursed, trying not to think to hard lest he rupture his skull. He blinked, noticing that the noise he'd been expecting from his apprentices was notably absent, and that their beds hadn't even been disturbed.

'Looks like they didn't come back last night.' He muttered, walking over to the window to glare beadily at the town in exasperation 'Fools…they'll burn themselves out.' He shrugged suddenly "Ah well, back to business."

Several minutes later and a chorus of perverted giggles could be heard from within the confines of the room, as the patron saint of perverts set about working his latest masterpiece. The servants opted to avoid the entire floor altogether to escape the noise.

_'The princess, pressured by the treacherous serpent lord, proposed a challenge to the sage's companions…'_

--

At that very moment, Senju Tsunade, granddaughter of Senju Hashirama, was wandering through the streets of Tanzaku-gai as if in a daze, lost to her own thoughts and the recurring memories of the past. He musings led her to a pachinko parlor, where she squandered every single ball without even trying to win.

'What's wrong with me?' a part of her wondered, as if watching her from afar 'This isn't like me at all, since when have I acted this pathetic?'

She watched the pachinko balls as they slowly depleted, disappearing into the machine like coin in a beggars hand. 'I've never been so indecisive either,' the analytic side noted, muttering to herself 'Am I getting old? No that's not it, if it was just that I'd have started acting like this long ago.'

The last Pachinko ball reflected her brown eyes, an image of her beloveds superimposing over her retinas even as she sent the little metal sphere on its way.

--

"That's it for tonight…" Recca gasped, sitting on his ass and gasping for breath as if he;d run a marathon "We'll continue tomorrow."

"Domon go sleepy now." The giant muttered, face down in the dirt where he'd fallen, the area shaking as his nasal orchestra kicked off.

"Tomorrow…" Naruto gasped, lying on his back as he gazed at the stars "We'll definitely…manage it by…tomorrow!"

Hidden behind a cluster of rocks, Tsunade watched the trio impassively, a little impressed despite herself; most people would have given up already, or long before, it was a credit to their training that these three genin were so willing to press ahead.

_'…we would like your response within a week's time…'_ Kabuto's voice echoed hauntingly in her mind _'Also, just so you know, the kinjutsu requires live sacrifices, so please have two people ready on your side.'_

'Am I really so desperate to see them again?' The sennin wondered, walking forwards to assess the exhausted teens carefully noting how much younger they all looked asleep 'That's right, shinobi or not they're still children…what a world eh?'

She knelt, reaching out to stroke a lock of Naruto's hair, tenderly stroking his cheek, before catching herself and standing abruptly, disappearing in a burst of leaves.

Naruto merely rolled over and sighed, the gentle, soothing presence he'd sensed earlier having lulled his mind into a deeper slumber.

--

How will the pranksters get out of this one/ Have they at last bitten off more than they can chew?

Orochimaru: Kukuku, that's never a problem with me.

Major: Not everyone has detachable jaws Herr, Orochimaru.

Wesker: How'd you get here anyways?

Orochimaru: I thought I'd look into your little experiment (Shivers at the montior) That looks painful

Kakashi: Obito! What are you-THOSE ARE MY PANTS!

Nem-ito: URRRRRR!

Kakashi: YEAAARGHLEPLEGHGHGLARGHLE#&#-!

Orochimaru:...kinky !

Wesker: You stay away from me freak.

R&R or Nem-ito will come for you!

* * *


	39. Chapter 39

Again! More Updates! More Issan!

Hellboy: Uh guy's...walls're startin to warp...

Major: Not good...ve need to get him to calm down.

Wesker: Alright...how?

Kakashi: That's an out hole! AN OUT HO-LMPGHLE!

Orochimaru: Ooooh! Tentacles!

* * *

A fool's wager; Tsunade's decision!

"So you name is Tsuchi Kin." Minamio noted, writing down the girl's words on a notepad "You only made genin this year, but have completed various shinobi training sessions for the past four years."

Kin nodded, regarding the cat-eyed chunin, unaware that Kukai and Ibiki were on the other side of a window disguised as a wall. They were finally getting round to carrying out an interrogation, and Minamio had been given the honors due to his arguably gentle nature around kids. Daikoku had volunteered to interrogate her, but his stern features made the girl nervous, and Fujimaru was out of the question on general principle. Kukai himself would have done it but he'd already caused enough troubles by refusing to allow Ibiki to interrogate her HIS way, though the ANBU captain had allowed him to sit with him in the booth.

"She's telling the truth." Ibiki noted with a scoff "Man, for all the GENIUS Orochimaru is supposed to have been you'd think he could've trained his agents on how to string a lie together, she's not even trying."

"Geniuses generally make poor instructors." Kukai replied sagely, "They assume everyone seeking wisdom from them can match them intellectually or physically, pushing them beyond their limits whilst explaining the bare minimum, resulting in sub-par results, as you see here."

"Tell me about it." Ibiki muttered, "Basics aside all the brat has are those little bells of hers…though incorporating a genjutsu into the mix was a nice touch."

"As it stands however," Kukai noted "This girl is no more a threat to the leaf than an ant is to an oak."

Ibiki nodded, gesturing to the ANBU on standby, who vanished in a plume of smoke "She'll be monitored, but other than that she' should have relatively free reign, provided she reports in every week." He muttered, waving aside Kukai's grateful smile "On the subject, have you considered the council's offer?"

Kukai paused, holding his chin in one hand "I'll admit it IS tempting, but as it stands I have a team to lead."

"I understand two of them were promoted." Ibiki countered, smirking slightly "And who says you can't incorporate them into it? Would add some extra manpower."

"You make a good point." Kukai reasoned, sighing with a defeated smile "Very well, inform the council that I agree to reform the Konoha police and investigations force."

"Ano," Kin called out, looking up into the face of Minamio warily, a little put off by the man's catlike stare "What are you going to do to me?"

"Not sure." Minamio replied "That's up to the top brass," he smiled at her "Not to worry though, we aren't the type to murder kids for being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Daikoku coughed and shot Fujimaru a murderous look, the sadistic member of Ku looking away with a scoff. Kin watched them curiously, blinking as the cat eyed man patted her head as he left, the other two filing out with him.

'I wonder why no-one from sound came for me?' she wondered, recalling the other graduates from her year before shuddering 'No…he wouldn't have a use for someone like me…'

--

"What do you think?" Kabuto asked, looking over at the ailing form of his master "If she agrees to our terms then your arms will be healed and we can immediately resume our operations to destroy Konoha, whilst Tsunade is reunited with her beloved." He eyed the snake sennin warily "However…if she declines…"

Orochimaru chuckled darkly, sweat lining his brow as he sneered "Even if it is by force…" he vowed "I'll have her heal my arms."

"Do you think it will go so easily?" Kabuto asked, wondering if the sound four should be brought into the equation. It would make things a hell of a lot easier.

"I have you." Orochimaru replied, earning a smirk from the medic before him "Besides, I'm not worried…I know her better than she knows herself." His leer widened "As well as her greatest weakness…make no mistake, she will swallow our terms…you can count on it."

Kabuto nodded, but made a note to prepare some emergency sacrifices just in case.

--

Tanzaku-gai was reputed as a gamblers haven; the sound of wandering crowds could be heard over the cries of tradesmen and conmen, the cheers and boasts of those who won, and the rants of those who were drowning their sorrows in booze.

"ORAAAAA!"

Recently it had also become noted for the trio of terrifying roars that elicited from the outskirts of town, followed by brief explosions of dirt and dust.

If one were a gambling man, scratch that, if one were a BRAVE man, or woman, they'd suggest going to the hills to find out what the hell was going on. If one were of the other persuasion, they'd go to see if money could be made from this.

Fortunately, there was no-one brave, greedy or simply STUPID enough to want to go anywhere near those hills after that incident with the giant snake and Tanzaku castle.

--

Naruto regarded his teammates with no small amount of respect. While he had the phenomenal reserves of his Hanyou heritage on top of his father's own it seemed that Recca and Domon managed to reach the second stage through sheer bull-headedness and a desire to outdo each other.

Domon's mental strength proved an asset that the giant used to his full advantage, enabling him to control his energies a lot easier that the other two, provided he wasn't distracted. Recca's own training with the Karyuu had left him no mental slouch either, and made good use of his ability to irk the giant to push the two to new levels.

As it were, all three were currently attempting the third stage, but try as they might, the goddamn spheres refused to remain solid.

'And it still doesn't give me an answer.' Domon muttered sullenly, sitting against a wall as the others took a break 'I still haven't discovered this Element that Koku-jiji was on about…it obviously isn't Doton, I was pretty damn good at it before…and Doton ninjutsu is the only one's I'm good at…'

He paused, blinking suddenly, before turning to regard Naruto "Hey, squirt." He called out "Sasuke's an Uchiha right? So his clan was mostly aligned with fire?"

"Yeah?" Naruto asked, looking at the giant in confusion, Recca looking up at his rival from his spot on a tree " He only goes on about it all the time."

"Well, if he was aligned with fire…how can he use lightning ninjutsu?" Domon asked, looking perplexed as he tried to wrap his tired brain around it.

"Don't you remember?" Recca muttered, "Kaka-sensei said that jounin level shinobi have more than one…" he trailed off as realization dawned "There's no way in hell Sasuke's jounin material…so that means-!"

"Anyone at least chunin level can learn more than one elemental jutsu!" Naruto finished, grinning widely "Good going Domon!"

The three got together, pooling resources before each other, which sadly, was limited to Recca's personalized list of Katon and Domon's Doton scrolls.

"Not much to go by," Recca admitted, "And I'm a Katon user by default as a Hokage ninja…don't see much point in learning anything else."

"Speak for yourself." Domon muttered, picking up the Katon list and sweat dropping at the sheer multitude of techniques listed "Damn Hanabishi, did you rape the Uchiha's jutsu library or something?"

"Maybe." Recca admitted, grinning like the twisted, pyromaniacal monkey he was, earning looks of fear from his nervous teammates "Oh! And before I forget…" he tossed a scroll to Naruto "I swiped that from the library too, a list of Futon jutsu ."

"Why didn't you give me this earlier?" Naruto asked in annoyance, looking over the scroll with one eye, the other regarding his aniki.

"Forgot all about it when Ero-sennin showed up talking about training." Recca admitted, scratching his head in embarrassment, before regarding Domon "So what, you wanna try Katon jutsu?"

"I've pretty much mastered my Doton skills for now, and the rasengan training comes first." Domon admitted, grimacing at the reminder of the bet "I'll put off Katon until we master the damned third stage."

"Same here." Naruto agreed, pocketing the futon scroll with a grim smile "There'll be time to advance our skills after we clear this hurdle!"

"OSSU!"

--

The next three days passed in a similar fashion, the only time the trio even entered the town was to quench their hunger at either the local beef bowl place, which paled in comparison to Aka-beko, or the ramen stand, which while good, paled in comparison to the ambrosia that was Ichiraku.

On the sixth night of the challenge, the last before the infamous D-day, Tsunade sat on the balcony of her room, enjoying the night breeze even as she regarded the hills outside of town.

"Tomorrow's the day." She muttered, referring in part to both the wager and the date she was to meet with her former teammate. Even now her heart was uncertain, even now the images of her smiling loved ones gazed at her just outside her reach.

Down in the streets below, Jiraiya regarded the blonde 'Hime' with a wistful, albeit serious expression, he didn't doubt she knew he was nearby, he may be the strongest of the sannin overall but that didn't mean the other two couldn't outdo him in certain ways. For Orochimaru it was his deviousness and arsenal of kinjutsu, and with Tsunade it was her peerless chakra control and monstrous strength.

What most people failed to realize was that with a high level of chakra and/or control came the ability to detect other notable signatures from afar. Tsunade, being who she was, had one of the highest chakra detection abilities in the shinobi nations, which made it damn hard to sneak up on her for research.

'Mind you,' he mused 'From what I've seen Domon's come pretty far in that area himself, not bad for a lummox.' He chuckled, before frowning as he recalled the reason for being here 'From her agitation Orochimaru must have offered her something huge…and there's something about the week that's been bothering me.' He looked up at the moon 'The brats haven't been back to the inn this entire time…perhaps I should try my luck with Tsunade one more time before the big day.'

--

Shizune peeked out from behind the boulders, idly wondering why on earth the boys would be in such a desolate place, only to gape in horror at the level of destruction that was apparent in the area. 'W-what happened here?!' she exclaimed, eyeing the torn landscape with a form of morbid fascination she hadn't experienced since her first autopsy. It looked like a hurricane had hit the place, trees were uprooted or snapped in half, the walls were pitted with scars and holes and everyone was lying around like they'd just fought the Kyuubi himself.

"Naruto-kun! Recca-kun! Domon-kun!" the medic called out, dashing forward to examine them, only to blink as she checked them over "Sever chakra exhaustion…signs of sleep deprivation…no signs of bathing…"

"Boys will be boys, wouldn't you say, neechan?"

Shizune blinked, then let out a shriek as something groped her backside, whirling round to deliver a savage backhand slap to a small, wizened old man in a bright shirt, wool hat and sunglasses. "Who are you?!" she demanded, embarrassment and suspicion warring on her face as the man picked himself up.

"I am…" he began, looking at her from behind the shades, an odd thing to have on at night "The mysterious old man!" he held up two victory signs, even as the woman gaped at him "I must say, women from fire country have the nicest rumps, all smooth and tempting."

Shizune tried not to die of mortification as she fought down the blush. While she was pretty confident in her looks she'd always felt plain before her master, even if it WAS a genjutsu. That being said she'd never really taken her backside to be her most endearing feature, who did when the first thing men looked at was your masters considerable bust line?

"Showing concern for these kids is a waste of time neechan." The old man assured her, turning Domon over on his back to reveal the snot bubble on his comatose face "They just pushed too hard and need time to recover, a good nights rest and they'll be alright."

Shizune highly doubted they'd be up and about in a night, only to blink as the old man walked up to Naruto and began taking measurements of his arm. "Um sir?" she called out uncertainly "What are you doing?"

"Taking measurements." The old man replied, pocketing the tape measure and walking over to Domon and grabbing him by the foot "Can you handle the other two neechan?" he asked, "I don't think you wanna try your luck with this one."

--

Tsunade sighed as she returned to the inn, confident that, in the least, Jiraiya wouldn't be around to interfere with what went down tomorrow. She had to admit he had balls, out of all her would be suitors he was the only one that had kept trying, even after she started dating Dan. He'd even gotten on well with Nawaki, but it still didn't change the fact he was only interested in actively pursuing her after puberty, when she'd begun to fill out in certain areas.

The drug she'd slipped him had been one she'd been perfecting since before leaving Konoha, and odorless, tasteless mixture that would paralyze his muscles whilst screwing up his chakra control.

'That's probably the closest thing he'll get to me screwing him.' The sennin noted wryly, only to blink as she entered her room to find the three brats resting on the beds, Domon taking up one for himself while Recca and Naruto shared another, a worried Shizune hovering over them.

"What the hell?" Tsunade noted, catching her attendant's attention as she looked over the sight before her "What are these brats doing here?"

"Tsunade-sama!" the medic called out, pulling the startled sennin towards them "Take a look at this, please!"

Tsunade blinked, running her eyes over their forms with interest "Severe exhaustion and Chakra burn in the palms of their hands." She noted, noting Shizune had already pretty much seen to the worst of it "By my estimate they wont awaken till after tomorrow." She scoffed lightly "Just like Jiraiya said…a fools wager."

Shizune remained silent, regarding her master as she saw to the boys, her normally youthful features taught as she focused on the sennin's back. "Please…" she began, catching her master's attention "Don't go tomorrow!"

Tsunade didn't answer, and after a few seconds of silence Shizune let her anger get the better of her "Why won't you say anything?!" the brunette demanded, looking desperate "Say something! Please!" Still the blonde sennin remained silent, and Shizune felt herself swallow "If…if you insist on going…"

"You'll what?" Tsunade cut in, her tone flat but the underlying threat was unmistakable to someone who'd known her as long as Shizune. The medic shivered, before setting her resolve.

"Even if it costs me my life," she stated confidently, readying the senbon hidden up her sleeve "I'll stop you!"

"Shizune…" Tsunade growled, her brow darkened in anger as she turned to glare at her apprentice "Who the hell do you think you're talking too?"

Shizune shivered, only to blink as her master seemed to appear at her side, letting out a small gasp of confusion before the effect of Tsunade's blow to her stomach bent her over, the medic collapsing on the floor even as the sennin made her exit.

--

Noon the next day, and the forest that separated rice country and Tanzaku-gai rustled as two figures sped through at top speed, the larger forest creatures trying to make themselves look smaller as they passed.

"It would be most troublesome if there were interference during the exchange." Orochimaru opined, dressed in his standard shinobi gear, this WAS a business deal after all.

"What would you have me do?" Kabuto asked, eyeing his master out the corner of his eye. If need be, he could fall back and summon the sound four.

"That attendant of Tsunade's…" Orochimaru chuckled, eyeing the silver haired medic coyly "It might be best if you take her out of the picture."

Kabuto's gaze hardened, pulling out a kunai and, after setting himself against a tree trunk, split off from his master to deal with the woman. 'After all,' he noted, a grim smirk on his face 'I never got to show her what I could do last time.'

--

"I don't think she's waking up." Shizune heard, the voice sounding oddly familiar, her whole body wincing as she fought to regain consciousness.

"Lets try CPR." Another voice suggested, sendign a dull shiver down the woman's spine "Not you Franken-stain, we want to wake her, not terrify her."

"The hell do you mean by that?!" a loud voice demanded of the second, the sound of a scuffle drawing the medic back to consciousness even as she felt an odd pressure on her lips.

"PERVERT!" she screamed, punching the offender right in the kisser, only to blink as Naruto fell over, holding his face in pain and cursing loudly "Eh? Naruto-kun?" she looked around, blinking at her surroundings.

"Hey it worked." Recca noted, sweat dropping at his fallen Outoto "And there's another reason Franken-stain, she'd have broken her hand just now if it was you."

Domon said nothing but mentally thanked god that Hanabishi had distracted him. Shizune blinked, recalling what Tsunade had predicted about their recovery, only to leap up and grab Recca by the collar "Quickly! What day is it?!"

"Uh…Monday?" Recca stammered, looking to the right, where a calendar hung on the wall "At least…yeah I think it is Monday...Naruto?"

"I smell Soba down the street." The blonde grunted, rubbing his nose tenderly "The old man at the noodle cart only does those on a Monday."

"You okay nee-chan?" Domon asked, looking the medic over carefully as he helped her sit up "you looked like you'd lost a fight with truck."

"Never mind that, where's the old hag?" Naruto asked, a dangerous gleam in his eyes as he spoke "Nothing like game day pressure to get the blood going!"

'Tsunade-sama!' Shizune gasped, leaping to her feet and leaping for the window "You three, stay here!" she yelled, only to blink as a kunai embedded itself in the windowsill. Before she could blink three blurs shot past her in the direction of the kunai, only to pull up short as the trio realized who the assailant was.

"Ero-sennin?" Naruto gaped, regarding the slumped, haggard form of his perverted mentor in alarm "What the hell happened to you?"

"That damn Tsunade…" the bear of a man muttered, wincing as Domon set him down as gently as he could against the railing of the balcony "Not only can't I call up my chakra right my body's so numb I can't even hold a pair of chopsticks."

"This coming from the man who claims he's such a hotshot shinobi?" Recca muttered, the trio regarding the sennin with deadpan expressions.

"So freaking lame." Domon muttered, crossing his arm and snorting, even as veins began to bulge on Jiraiya's head threateningly/

"Yeah, did she get you with some sort of pervy attack?" Naruto asked snidely, earning a snicker from the others, Shizune covering her mouth to hide a guilty giggle.

"URUSEI!!" Jiraiya bellowed, the force of the yell nearly blowing the trio off the balcony had they not grabbed the railing "Even if her skills are rusty, Tsunade is the most prestigious medical specialist in the world…she's the only person that can compound a tasteless, odorless drug that will prove effective on shinobi." He grimaced "Still, I can't get over how she managed to slip it to me, regardless of how drunk I was!"

--

The trio fell silent, watching over the treatment like hawks, whilst subtly making hand signs at each other. (You sense him too squirt?) Domon asked, making sure to look anywhere BUT directly behind him.

(Smelled him a while ago.) Naruto replied (Same scent of snakes and drugs…it's that Kabuto guy alright.)

(What d'ya think he's doing here?) Recca asked face neutral (You think the council sent backup?)

(No way, especially not a genin.) Naruto countered (I don't care how skilled he is they'd at least have sent a few chunin with Orochimaru in the area.)

(Speaking of old Pedo-hebi.) Domon muttered, (Two really big chakra signals showed up near Tanzaku castle.)

(Bet ya any money the other one's the old hag.) Recca muttered, slipping some gunpowder balls into his hand.

(Operation rat catcher?) Naruto asked, preparing to speed off as soon as the signal went.

--

Kabuto cursed the trio for blocking his line of sight, only for his eyes to widen as Domon spun suddenly and hurled Kubikiri Houcho right at him like a spear. 'SHIT!' the medic swore, leaping out of the way, barely, his side bleeding from where the edge had caught him 'How'd they know I was-?!'

"RYUTSUISEN-ZAN!"

Kabuto leapt back on instinct, a good call, as a seconds delay would have left him skewered on Naruto's Katana. He reached for his kunai pouch, only to swear as a chain wrapped around his wrist. "No ya don't!" Recca swore, gripping the Kusari-gama tightly as he did, having stashed the weapon in his storage scrolls "No more of your damn running around, why the heck are you here?"

Kabuto swore and swiped at the chains with his fingers, the chakra scalpel severing them and allowing him to leap into the air, only for a shadow to loom over him. "Going somewhere?" Domon growled, delivering a powerful blow to the medic's back that sent him crashing into the tiles.

Kabuto immediately channeled chakra into his spine, healing the damage as quickly as possible, even before he hit the ground. 'It seems that they've improved once again.' He noticed, his glasses cracking even as he glared at them. 'I can't dally here any longer…these three are bad enough but if Jiraiya and that medic get involved I could be in real trouble in the state I'm in.'

"I give you credit for catching me off guard." He said aloud, berating himself for allowing such a thing to happen "Normally I'm a match for Kakashi-san, if the tables had been reversed you'd be dead by now."

The trio remained silent, knowing it was merely strategy and dumb luck that allowed them to take down the copy-nin so fast. One didn't become a jounin without some serious skills, and sharingan and tardiness aside; Kakashi had quite a reputation as one of Konoha's finest.

"Still," Kabuto noted, grinning as he gathered his chakra "I can't have you sneaking up later…" he brought his hands up in a tiger seal "Ninpou-ARGH!"

Kabuto leapt back, gripping the stump of what had once been his wrist and glaring hatefully at Naruto, who crouched before him, sword drawn and dripping blood, the severed appendage lying near him. "No more tricks out of you!" the blonde growled, eyes flashing a dangerous shade of red as he kicked the severed limb at the man "You're gonna tell us what we wanna know or-?!"

The exploding tag near the blonde's foot hissed ominously even as the trio leapt back a safe distance, only to curse as the flame fizzled out. "Kuso! A dud!" Domon growled, realizing that Kabuto had made his escape "Slippery bastard!"

"He hangs out with pedo-hebi." Recca reasoned, though he looked no more pleased than his rival "Stands to reason he'd pick up a few things."

--

Kabuto cursed as he tried to reattach his severed hand on the run, knowing that every second counted with those demon-brats on his tail. He couldn't believe how badly he'd screwed up, not only had they corralled him with simple teamwork, he'd even been nearly crippled by them!

'If I weren't a bit of a medical prodigy myself I'd be in a lot more trouble.' The medic noted grimly, refastening the limb with a last tug of chakra 'As it stands, either that blade of Naruto's is incredibly sharp…or he's subconsciously channeling wind nature chakra.'

Kabuto grinned, wind type ninjutsu users either fought at midrange or up close and personal, and last he checked Naruto was an 'in you face' fighter, the sword gave it away. 'Unfortunately for him,' the medic chuckled darkly, his scalpel glowing faintly before disappearing 'Close range against a medical specialist is plain suicide.'

--

"Your response?" Orochimaru asked, tone neutral but his eyes burning into the blonde's back as she stood in silent contemplation. 'Even from behind she retains her natural attraction.' He noted with a smirk 'a beauty that daimyo's and emperors would gladly go to war for, and she spoils it by acting like a common barmaid with that temper of hers.'

Tsunade was silent for what seemed like minutes before raising her head, still not facing the traitorous serpent that had once been her teammate. "I'll heal your arms," she stated "but in exchange, keep them away from the leaf."

Orochimaru smirked, having no such intention of doing so but knowing he had the battle won "It's a deal."

Tsunade remained silent, memories of Nawaki, Dan, and their lives with her in the village flashing before her eyes.

_Grocery shopping with Nawaki…His disgust at her attempts at cooking…the numerous times she healed his wounds._

_Walking through the village with Dan…visiting the graves of their lost siblings…sitting before a lake as the sun set behind the mountains._

_Nawaki…Dan…their smiling faces growing ever closer to her even as she watched through tearing eyes._

Tsunade closed her eyes even as the breeze lifted the leaves about her, letting it blow against her like a child's embrace.

"Now…!" Orochimaru demanded eagerly, his face set in a maniacal leer as he held out one of his decayed arms for her to heal. The blonde sennin paused, slowly opening her eyes to reveal the emotionless brown, tearstained orbs even as she approached her onetime teammate, friend and the biggest threat to Konoha since the Kyuubi.

She held out her hands, the bright green glow of healing chakra coming to the fore even as Orochimaru held out his ailing limbs to her tender mercies.

--

What? Has Tsunade submitted to the serpent's will?!

Shizune: Tsunade-sama!

What perils await Jiraiya and the trio as they rush to her rescue!

Jiraiya: Dammit! my chakra's shot to hell!

Can they make it in time...or will the serpent's limbs be healed?!

R&R to find out!

* * *


	40. Chapter 40

Keep Typin Typin Typin Typn!

Hellboy: Ah Crap, he;s gone all limp Bizkit on us.

Wesker: Be ready to grab him if he decides to break stuff.

* * *

A bitter pill to swallow; clash of the medics!

In the forest that separated Tanzaku castle from the rest of the town a gambler yawned as he leant his weary back against the trunk of a tree, sipping at a jug of good sake as he tried to plan his next scam.

He'd recently scored pretty big off a busty lady in a green coat, taking everything but the clothes she was wearing and that pricey looking necklace. He idly wondered whom else he could scam before heading home when a rustle in the leaves above caught his attention.

--

"Orochimaru intends to attack Konohagakure the second his arms are healed!" Shizune called out, the other shinobi around her letting their faces show their discomfort with the situation.

"We have to stop Orochimaru NOW." Jiraiya instructed, grimacing as he tried to force his body to operate properly, Shizune was good but no one matched Tsunade, not even her apprentices "Things will only get worse otherwise!"

"Like you had ta tell us THAT?!" Recca snapped, blasting off a trunk alongside the rest of his team "The bastard near wrecked the place last time, and this time we don't have Saru-jiji to take him out!"

'Saru-jiji?' Jiraiya repeated, chuckling whilst Shizune chastised the hothead for his disrespect 'Old man, you raised some damn fine brats.' He grimaced at the unbidden memory that arrived at the heels of that thought, Orochimaru's escape from Konoha. 'I just hope we get there before something happens!'

--

The gambler blinked, eyeing the sake suspiciously before calmly pouring it over a nearby shrine, saying a quick prayer, and turning to face the road back home.

He had never been a god-fearing man, but he believed rather heavily in karma, the reason being that, until he became a gambler, he'd always been poor and looked down upon. Since becoming one he'd seemed to have a run of good luck, making more gains than losses, which was a rarity considering how he was a solo agent in a big city like Tanzaku.

So if pigs started flying and people started chasing them through the trees screaming about old monkeys and what-not, then it was pretty clear that karma had, once again, decided to be a fickle mistress.

Looked like it was back to his mother's grocery store again, at least this time he was pretty damn sure she'd be proud of him, coming back with money rather than penniless and starved.

Orochimaru leered hungrily at the glowing ball of healing chakra that hummed steadily in Tsunade's hands, watching her apparently defeat eyes as she brought it closer to his outstretched limbs. He flinched suddenly, as did the medical prodigy, the two sennin separating swiftly as a kunai flew out of nowhere, their gaze snapping towards Kabuto, who stood perched atop the wall of the street, a scowl on his features, even as he landed behind his master.

"What is the meaning of this?" Orochimaru demanded, not facing his servant as he spoke, cold fury leaking into his raspy voice as his eyes bulged in his ire "Why have you decided to betray me…TSUNADE?!"

Tsunade glowered back at the duo, shooting the medic behind the snake a scathing look, moderately impressed at how he'd found her out.

"Tell me," Orochimaru demanded, the fury evident in his eyes, even as he tried to keep his face calm, looking like he was trying to bite his own lips "What led to your decision to kill me…Tsunade-Hime?" he nodded "Kabuto…I trust you wholeheartedly…" he tilted his head slightly "Your loyalty and ability to anticipate Tsunade's attack…"

"We're both from the medical corps." The medic explained impassively, watching the female sennin stew in her own juice with no small amount of smugness "It was easy to sense the murderous intent in her chakra."

Orochimaru sighed, looking honestly distraught at the woman's attempt on his life. What neither of the other party knew was that he was honestly a little disappointed in the turn of events. Tsunade was the world's most renowned healer, he knew this firsthand, even if he forced her she could heal his arms, but he truly hadn't wished to resort to such tactics with her. Call him sentimental at your own risk but there was a time and a place for brute force and it wasn't when his arms were rotting off thank you very much.

"I truly did intend to bring them back Tsunade," he chastised the woman, hoping he sounded disappointed in her "And I even vowed not to destroy Konoha…but now…" He trailed off as Tsunade started chuckling to herself.

"Orochimaru." The blonde medic called out "Your promise to leave the leaf alone? Anyone could tell you were lying." She looked down in depression "I knew that…and yet…just once more…I wanted to see them one last time…to touch them one more time…to see them smile one more time."

Orochimaru allowed a sneer to come to his face whilst Kabuto kept up a mask of indifference, only for both to go on alert at the woman's next words.

"But…the moment I realized that I would truly see Nawaki and Dan again…the moment I felt that joy…I realized I was a total fool!"

Tears fell from the woman's cheeks to dot the mounds of her bosom, where the hokage necklace lay nestled; the images of her lost ones rising to the fore.

"Just remembering their faces…made me so blind…" Tsunade continued "I loved them…I truly loved them!" she exclaimed "And I wanted to see them again and hold them tight…but I couldn't."

Three faces appeared before, one of which reminded her hauntingly of her lost beloveds, her precious Outoto and lover. He had her outoto's face, he had her lover's friendly nature, and he shared their dream on an almost haunting level.

The other two bore no such resemblance, but their determination, their unity, their sheer stubbornness and zeal to protect one another…how long had it been since the sannin had exhibited such ties amongst themselves?

"Those brats reminded me of their dream," the sennin admitted, a weak chuckle escaping her "even though I'd tried to forget it…"

_"I'll become strong like grandpa one day and one day be granted the hokage title!" Nawaki had boasted._

_"Because unlike you," Naruto scoffed, glaring at her defiantly "I want that title for myself one day!"_

_"Ever since the day my Imouto died," Dan had admitted "This one thought has been the only thing that's been keeping me going…"_

_"To be Hokage is my dream."_

"They staked their lives on their dreams." Tsunade muttered, her head lowered "That those dreams would come true…was my wish as well." She continued to look down "You said 'everything decays eventually'…but…"

She looked up, and the tears that lined her cheeks were tears of mutual joy and sadness, rather than the bitter, self-hating tears from earlier.

"This one feeling…" the proud female sannin vowed "This one feeling, never decays."

--

Orochimaru stood in silence for a moment, gazing upon the face of his childhood friend and teammate in silent contemplation. Tsunade had always been pretty, if plain as a girl, and her temper suited her well in his opinion. As she'd matured and filled out he'd come to realize, along with their dimwitted teammate, that she was quite possible the most beautiful woman in Hi no kuni. For the longest time he'd cursed himself for letting her slip away into Dan's arms, taking silent joy in her fits of anger, usually aimed at Jiraiya, as he believed it was at these times she'd been the most beautiful.

He had never seen her cry in such a manner, the sight of it made his long ignored heartstrings ache for those old days.

"Then the negotiations have collapsed." He drawled, face settled in a scowl as he regained control of his emotions "Too bad…I'll have to persuade you by force."

He dimly wondered why in the hell he'd uttered such a stupid, Jiraiya-like statement even as he leapt aside to avoid the heel drop that put a crater in the middle of the street. He really needed to watch out for such things in future, perhaps Jiraiya's stupidity was contagious…or maybe the pain in his arms was making him a little testier than normal.

"I told you." Kabuto pointed out, even as Tsunade launched herself at them like a charging bull "The best medicines are always more than bitter."

"Now that I think of it." The serpent drawled, chuckling lightly as he regarded the enraged princess coyly "You and I have never actually fought, have we, Tsunade-Hime?"

"You're one to talk," Kabuto grumbled, eyeing the rampaging beauty warily as she drew ever closer "I'M the one that has to fight her."

They leapt back as Tsunade delivered a right straight that pulverized the entire wall they'd been standing on, an impressive feat as it ran the entire length of the street. "One hit and your dead." Orochimaru warned, a wry smirk on his pale features as he regarded the situation as if it were amusing. In a sense it probably was, to him.

"I can see that." Kabuto noted, eyeing the battlefield warily, noting the lack of desired maneuverability "It's a little too tight for a battle here."

"Are you suggesting we move the fight elsewhere?" Orochimaru asked regarding his servant coyly, even as he kept a wary eye on Tsunade.

"I believe it would be wise." Kabuto advised him "there was someone with Tsunade's companion…several people to be exact."

"A team?" Orochimaru wondered, sounding intrigued, and more than a little annoyed at this turn of events "Who?"

"The Kyuubi no gaki and two of his teammates." Kabuto reported, scowling at the sennin's scoff "They are lead by the last of the densetzu no sannin."

'JIRAIYA!' the serpent exclaimed, the look of bemusement vanishing without a trace at the mention of his onetime rival and comrade, only to return as he chuckled darkly. "Well now," the sennin muttered ominously "if I'd known there'd be a sannin reunion I'd have worn my good kimono again."

--

"H-holy crap!" Domon stammered, eyeing the devastated street with wide eyes and a gaping jaw "Did Godzilla pass through here or something?!"

"Worse…" Jiraiya chuckled, looking oddly pleased at the situation "From the looks of things it would seem Tsunade ran out of tender mercies and decided Orochimaru needed some of tough love."

"Was that an innuendo, Ero-sennin?" Naruto deadpanned, Shizune flushing despite herself, glad that her master had turned the offer down but mortified at what was being implied.

"I hope not," Recca muttered, face contorting into a grimace "The idea of those two playing 'hide the snake' just doesn't sit right…"

"CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALA!" Naruto yelped, covering his ears and shutting his eyes to ward of the images, even as Jiraiya turned green. The sennin blinked as he espied Ton-ton sniffing at his master's coat, Shizune kneeling over it.

"Which way, Ton-ton?" the medic asked, the diminutive porker sniffing for a few minutes, before pointing the way "Let's go mina!"

"OSSU!" the trio yelled, leaping after the porker, earning looks of confusion from the medic. "This isn't the first time we followed an animal to our objective." Recca explained at her curious expression "Kaka-sensei lent us one of his nin-ken to track down a teammate that got it into his head to take on a chunin level threat when he'd just had his arm cut off."

Shizune didn't know what to say and so settled for following Ton-ton, keeping pace with Jiraiya in case he needed assistance.

--

"She's finally out of breath." Kabuto noted, feeling more than a little winded himself. His wounds from earlier were pretty much healed up, though his left hand still felt a little stiff. The only problem now was that he was running a bit lower on chakra than he'd prefer considering his opponent still had her own impressive reserves remaining.

"Then it's time." Orochimaru stated, and the medic popped one of his personal soldier pills, boosting his reserves back to their normal level.

"Taijutsu isn't my specialty you know?" Kabuto reminded his master, even as he activated his chakra scalpel, performing a simultaneous Kawarimi and Shinjuu Zanshu, grabbing the startled female sennin by her ankle, or trying to at least. She dodged, ramming her fist into the earth, forcing him to escape, ducking as she aimed a kick that shattered a boulder just above him.

Using the debris for cover, the younger medic took the rear, slapping her left arm and right leg simultaneously, even as she shoulder rushed him. The damage was lessened however, no doubt because she'd put pressure on her injured leg, and so he was only sent skidding a few feet away, smirking as she collapsed. "I severed your Biceps Brachia and Rectus Femoris muscles." He explained, none to smugly "Your strength is no longer a threat to me."

"Chakra scalpel." Tsunade growled, eyeing the young man warily from her spot on the ground "If you have that then why didn't you target my arteries?"

"I'll admit that while it may leave no external sings of damage," the younger medic replied "Even I am unable to maintain a scalpel that can reach the arteries in a heated battle." He smirked and lunged forwards "Going for the throat however, is no problem at all!"

Tsunade tried to deflect the blow with her good arm, only for Kabuto to slip under, slapping against her sternum, just above the necklace, her breath catching the second his palm touched her. 'This kid…is no mere medic-nin.' she realized, glaring at him even as she gasped for breath 'his jutsu instincts and sharp senses may surpass even my own in my prime!'

"I can't have you dieing on me now," Kabuto admitted coyly, pushing his glasses back into position "So I didn't go for your throat…nonetheless, you won't be moving any time-!"

Whatever the medic had been about to say was cut off as Tsunade delivered a sharp, savage chop to the back of his neck, sending him crashing down to earth as Orochimaru watched on with an amused smirk on his pale features.

'Impressive…' Kabuto admitted tenderly 'lack of breath would normally make it impossible to move…' he glared at the sennin's impressive rack 'Did my scalpel not penetrate far enough because of those?' he wondered, before getting to his feet, or trying to anyway.

'Wha-what the hell?' he stammered, eyeing his twitching form in alarm 'I'm trying to move my hand, but my leg moves? What's going-?!'

Tsunade's fist plowing into the medic's face cut off all thought, as he sprawled helplessly on the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. The one saving grace the medic maintained was that he'd at least prevented her from using her full strength...he very much doubted his head would still be attached otherwise.

--

'That's Tsunade-Hime for you.' Orochimaru noted, listening in as his teammate explained her trick to his no doubt equally stunned and impressed servant 'Electrical signals control all activity between the brain and the body, so Tsunade effectively cut off more than half of the signals that race between Kabuto's body and mind at over 360km per hour.' He smirked as he realized that the body was still moving and corrected his hypothesis 'No, that's not it…the signals got crossed!'

He let his tongue wipe across his lips, watching as the medical beauty used the bare minimum of medical ninjutsu to heal her wounds, saving the majority for the battle ahead. 'As always, you think ahead by at least three steps, Tsunade-Hime.' He applauded, before smirking wryly 'But Kabuto isn't one to let a minor affliction keep him down.'

--

As Tsunade healed herself Kabuto closed his eyes and gave himself a self-diagnostic, checking his body thoroughly to see what worked, what didn't and what was completely FUBAR as he planned his next move.

'If I try to move my right hand…my left leg moves.' He noted testing the limbs 'If I try to move my left foot, my right shoulder moves.' He sat in silence, his body twitching as his face remained calm 'It's complicated…but I've figured out how to use 80 of my body now.'

"To think that a jutsu of this level can defeat me is an insult!" he called out, a kunai snapping into his hand as he rounded on the stunned Tsunade "You hate the sight of blood? Then I think it's about time you faced you fears, Tsunade!" He held the Kunai before him "I'll spill just enough to keep you alive in your torment!"

Tsunade grimaced, preparing to either flee or block only for a series of explosion to erupt before her, driving the younger medic back. This was followed by several figures arriving via Kawarimi, looming in front of the annoyed Kabuto like a proverbial wall.

"It's been a while…Jiraiya." Orochimaru greeted, a smirk twisting on his pale features as he regarded the new arrivals with a sense of bizzare amusement.

"Yo," Jiraiya shot back, smirking right back at his former teammate "You're looking as morbid as ever…Orochimaru." He squawked as Tsunade elbowed her way past him, charging towards Kabuto with her fist drawn back. Kabuto, in turn, readied his kunai and…slit his own wrist, spraying the blood all over the charging sennin.

--

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Domon swore, spiking out in horror at the medic's tactic "Is he gonna whip out some freak-ass emo-ninjutsu or something?!" he blinked as Shizune dashed forwards, only to gape as he realized Tsunade had stopped moving, just as Kabuto sent her flying with a punch to the face.

"What the hell?!" Recca demanded, rushing to Shizune's side along with the others, regarding the trembling, blood drenched form before them "Why'd she freeze up like that?!"

"Hemophobia." Shizune replied "Ever since the day I told you, Tsunade-sama is paralyzed by the sight of blood." She frowned concernedly "It was one of the reasons she left the shinobi world."

"And that rat bastard took advantage of that." Recca growled, glaring jot at Kabuto, but at Orochimaru "Traitorous backstabbing-!"

"That's no way to talk." Kabuto mocked, smirking despite the blood seeping out of his wrist "A Shinobi makes good use of his surroundings and any information he can gather," he smirked "We are assassins and spies after all…but then maybe you three don't have what it takes."

"Tough talk from one of Pedo-hebi's butt monkeys." Naruto shot back, Orochimaru and Kabuto's eyes bulging at the implied insult "You keep his bed warm at night for him? Or just whenever he's not whacking off to kiddy porn?"

Kabuto bristled, before scoffing and pushing up his glasses, "Simple bait and counter attack tactics like that won't work on me." He muttered scornfully "And you really need to watch what comes out of your mouth."

"I don't wanna hear that from a guy that blows off a snake for kicks." Naruto shot back, his teammates and Jiraiya cackling as Shizune flushed scarlet "Baa-chan probably got a shit load of STD's just from touching you."

'Oh I am so writing that down!' Jiraiya cackled, eyeing Kushina's brat with a note of pride 'Ku-chan, your infamous potty mouth lives on!'

Kabuto glared at the teen and would have dashed forwards had he not sensed the sudden movement off to the side, leaping back to stand alongside his master, Shizune's senbon deflecting off his Hitai-ate.

"You seem to be having trouble Kabuto…" Orochimaru noted, though he didn't take his eyes off the assembled forces "Though while I applaud your handling of Tsunade I must admit that we seem to be outnumbered."

"Perhaps not, Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto suggested, slipping a scroll he'd prepared earlier just in case out of his pack as he swallowed a coagulant pill and plasma pill in succession.

Orochimaru eyed the scroll interestedly, noting that two of his special kunai were also concealed in the medic's pouch. "Kukukuku…" he chuckled, returning his gaze to the assembled forces coyly "You truly are a vindictive one, Kabuto."

--

"So that's Orochimaru…" Naruto growled, finally getting a good look at the bastard that slew the man he'd regarded as a grandfather since infancy. Even from here the sight of those golden, serpentine eyes made his blood boil.

'**Something is wrong…' **Kyuubi's thoughts muttered **'The eyes are the same…as is the aura… but that is not the man that set me on the village.'**

'You sure?' the Hanyou asked his sire, frowning at the traitorous sennin even as he did so.

'**Absolutely.'** Kyuubi replied in a low growl **'His eyes may be similar, but if it were the same man then we would have smelled him from miles away…and something about those eyes seems false.'**

'Ocular genjutsu?' Naruto wondered, blinking in confusion "Hey Ero-sennin, does Pedo-hebi got any ocular genjutsu skills?"

"Not that I know of." Jiraiya replied, not taking his eyes off the man "In fact I'm certain of it, while he specializes in all forms of jutsu he nonetheless is limited to hand seals like the rest of us save for certain instances."

'Then something's up.' The Hanyou muttered 'Otherwise why the hell would Tou-san suspect he isn't Orochimaru?'

Not distracted by Naruto's questioning in the least, Jiraiya nodded "Shizune, you take four-eyes." He nodded towards Kabuto "Brats, you stay here and watch Tsunade, I'll handle Orochimaru."

"Not happening Ero-sennin." Recca shot back, "You're not back to a hundred percent just yet and besides, it's common sense to outflank the enemy."

"I'll be back as soon as Tsunade does something about the drug she gave me." Jiraiya snapped, only to realize the futility of this when he realized Tsunade wasn't likely to be much use till she calmed down. Looking at Shizune provided another disappointment.

"The medicine will doubtlessly continue to affect you for several more hours." The attendant stated apologetically "Not even I can do something about that."

"Damn, no choice then…" Jiraiya growled "Okay, Domon you're with me, we'll handle Orochimaru "Recca, Naruto, one of you tag-team with Shizune against four-eyes, the other stay back and guard Tsunade till she gets herself under control.

"I'll watch the old hag." Naruto volunteered, stepping in front of her with a grim expression "My kage-bunshin can keep her covered on all sides, and against opponents like these they'd just be wasting Chakra."

'Kid plans ahead pretty well.' Jiraiya noted approvingly 'Definitely didn't get THAT little tidbit from Ku-chan though, she was always one to charge in headfirst.'

"So how we gonna do this?" Domon asked, gritting his teeth as he sidled up next to the sennin "I fought with the Kuso-hebi in the forest but he wasn't even trying hard back then…so what's he like?"

"As he is now his jutsu skills are limited to whatever personal skill and summoning contracts he has on him." Jiraiya supplied dutifully "The problem arises if he summons the boss snake Manda…that bastard's a match for Gamabunta." He flinched as Kabuto swiped blood from his wrist and rubbed it on Orochimaru's summoning tattoo, biting his own thumb and flipping through the seals as he drugged up as much chakra as he could.

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"

A massive explosion of smoke revealed two serpents on the other side, towering over the field as they gazed down at the assembled Konoha forces, Orochimaru atop one, Kabuto the other. Jiraiya on the other hand, fought the urge to weep as he espied the toad boss' eldest son gazing up at him.

"Yo!" the amphibian greeted cheekily, waving in greeting at the sight of the mortally embarassed sennin "Got any snacks there ossan?"

--

"Kukukuku…" Orochimaru chuckled, eyeing the scene below with no small amount of amusement "Looks like not even Tsunade managed to cure your stupidity Jiraiya." He noted mockingly "It seems the first move is mine!"

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"

The snake sennin balked as a second eruption of smoke sounded out, revealing a large toad with two katana strapped to its back that had last been used to crush his triple headed serpent back in Konoha. Atop the amphibian's head stood the Kyuubi-brat, several clones of the brat standing around Tsunade in a protective circle on the ground, katanas semi-drawn.

"It would seem I underestimated him once again." Kabuto noted, looking none to pleased with this turn of events "He's clearly tapping into the Kyuubi's chakra."

"You don't say?" Orochimaru remarked waspishly, as he directed the serpents towards the rest of the assembled forces, only to stager as Jiraiya summoned his Yomi Numa in an attempt to sink the one the sennin was riding on.

--

'Damn, I can't sink this snake in a swamp this shallow.' Jiraiya cursed, grimacing as he felt his Chakra fluctuate wildly, like bad gas 'Damn medicine's still screwing me up!'

'Still…' he mused, regarding the grim features of his former comrade, as they stood atop the ailing serpent 'At least this one isn't going anywhere.'

"You think you've won?" Orochimaru asked, sounding amused "Did you really think that any amount of genin could help you defeat me? One of the prodigal sannin?"

"Don't call yourself by that title." Jiraiya mocked, "It belongs to the strongest team in Konoha 's history…and I've been going solo for years."

"True, but the fact remains that even outnumbered you can never defeat me…" he smirked as he used his tongue to reveal another summoning array "I ALWAYS have a back-up plan."

Jiraiya swore and lunged towards the man, realizing it was a trap when Orochimaru's neck extended, lunging for his jugular. "Ninpou: Hari Jizo!" he called out, barely making the seals in time as his mane of white hair enveloped him like a shell, only for Orochimaru to pull it aside with his foot and land a bite. 'Shit! Too little chakra to be effective!' Jiraiya cursed, even as he struggled to remain upright.

"Even with handicaps there's no contest between us." Orochimaru taunted through the bite, a rather unsettling feeling in Jiraiya's opinion "Give it up, I've won." He smirked "Unless of course you want to watch those boys suffer."

--

And so Orochimaru puts Jiraiya in his dread lovebite of DOOM! How will the Ero-sennin survive this obviously Yaoi attack!

omake:

"Even with handicaps there's no contest between us." Orochimaru taunted through the bite, a rather unsettling feeling in Jiraiya's opinion "Give it up, I've won." He smirked "Unless of course you want to watch those boys suffer."

"Suffer?" Jiraiya growled, glaring at his former teammate coldly "You won;t know the MEANING of the word till I get through with you!"

"Is that so?" orochumaru snorted, looking into the sennin's eye mockingly "And just what do you expect to do to me tied up like this?" he snorted as Jiraiya struggled again "Just like old times, hm?"

He blinked as Gamakichi hopped onto Jiraiya's head and held what appeared to be a nudie magazine in front of the toad sennin. His eyes widened as he felt the sennin's muscles expand.

(Cue the popeye music)

"PERV POWER!"

Orochimaru swore as Jiraiya liuterally exploded out of his clothes, sending the serpent flying backwards, gaping in horror at the hulking mass of muscle and testosterone glaring down at him

"Who's a little bitch now huh?!"

R&R!!

* * *


	41. Chapter 41

Must...keep...updating...nothing...else...matters...

Hellboy: Man, he;s takin the abridged war pretty damn hard.

Wesker: Tell me about it...who started that thing anyways

Hellboy: Dunno...hey, where' d the major go?

Wesker: (Blinks)...ah shit...

* * *

Edo Tensei; Faces from the past!

"DOTON: DORYUUHEKI!" Domon called out, spewing out a wall of chakra reinforced mud that shielded Recca and Shizune from the other serpent even as Naruto's summon sliced its head off. Shizune launched several senbon at Kabuto, which he dodged, only to barely avoid being pelted with Recca's combination of Housenka, shuriken and gunpowder balls. Leaping towards the source of the flames, he slapped a palm into Recca's stomach, the scalpel cutting through the thick wire mesh under his clothes and causing Recca to cough up blood. Shizune was on them in a second, grabbing the enjutsu-shi and spewing out a mass of poisonous gas that the bespectacled medic was forced to avoid by diving underground, resurfacing under Shizune and severing her tendons with his scalpel.

One of Naruto's clones managed to take the rear and attempted to behead the medic, only to receive a kick to the nose that dispelled it, Kabuto dashing towards the remaining clones determinedly, dispatching them even as a few drops of blood flew from his wrist to hit Tsunade on the cheek.

The blonde sennin twitched from the unwanted contact, gazing around her like a terrified child and swatting his hand away fearfully. Kabuto glowered in distaste and would have kicked the pitiful excuse for a sennin, in his opinion, had it not been for the timely arrival of the cavalry in the form of a pissed off Ishijima Domon.

"Doton: Doryuu Taiga!" the giant roared, Kabuto swearing as the earth beneath him liquefied and grabbed him, a river of mud holding him down and simultaneously screwing up his sense of balance, even as Domon called out "Doton: Doryuudan", resulting in a dragon's head to launch itself at the medic, who made his escape via Kawarimi.

'This isn't good…' the medic muttered, noting that with Naruto's summon on the field it could very well go the Konoha nins' way 'Looks like it's time for Plan B.'

He pulled out a scroll and a vial of Orochimaru's blood, swiping it across the complicated kanji before flipping through a set of seals he'd prepped for, but never dreamed he'd use.

'Tora, Mi, Inu, Tatsu!' he chanted mentally, focusing his chakra on the last seal even as he espied Recca's shuriken attack headed his way 'Ninpou Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei!'

Two coffins erupted from the dirt before the medic, shielding him from harm, the kanji for 'third' and 'fourth' predominant on the caskets.

--

'What? NO!' Jiraiya swore, recognizing the jutsu and the significance of the coffins, glaring at his former teammate "You bastard!" he spat "Using that jutsu again!"

"Moi?" Orochimaru taunted, still clamped onto Jiraiya's throat "Kabuto was the one who made the preparations, I was prepared to bring back Tsunade's loved ones so long as she provided suitable sacrifices." He smirked "It would seem Kabuto planned for just such an occasion and made use of his collection of preserved corpses."

--

"You should be honored." Kabuto called out, smirking at the confused faces from behind the coffins "This is the jutsu that indirectly killed the Sandaime Hokage."

The assembled forces flinched and prepared themselves for anything as the first of the coffin lids fell open. Nothing however, could have prepared them for the sight of the figure stepping out of the casket.

"Sandaime…sama?" Shizune breathed, eyes wide in confusion and dawning horror as she realized just what Kabuto had done.

"AH! ZOMBIE!" Recca screamed, Domon joining him as they backpedaled away from the old man, tears streaming down their faces comically.

"DON'T EAT MY BRAIN!" Domon pleaded, pulling a variety of warding talismans and sutras out of nowhere and hurling them at the man, only to blink as he smiled sadly.

"I truly didn't think I would see you all again." Sarutobi called out, eyeing them all sadly from where he stood, "You all seem to have grown up quite a bit while I've been gone." He scowled at Kabuto over his shoulder "Yakushi Kabuto-kun…it would appear Kakashi's concerns were indeed valid."

"A bit late for that Sandaime-san." Kabuto mocked, pushing up his glasses, "But to more pressing concerns, you won't be facing off against your students alone after all." He thumped the other casket "That's your cue."

The casket lid fell open, and a tall, blonde haired man with blue eyes stepped out, eliciting a gasp of horror from Shizune. He was dressed, as Sandaime was, in the clothes he wore when he died, the standard Konoha Jounin outfit under a long white cloak with a flame design on the edging. The Kanji for 'will of fire' was written on the back, and his Hitai-ate sported a lightly longer tie that blew behind him in the sudden breeze.

"Welcome to the dark side…" Kabuto joked "Namikaze Minato…or should I say: Yondaime Hokage-sama?"

--

Silence fell over the group, as they regarded the scene before them with equal parts horror and fascination. Bad enough they were facing a jutsu that had killed Sarutobi-jiji, they actually had to fight the old man himself? As a zombie for that matter?

And that wasn't the worst of it, they were also up against the man who took down the Kyuubi and single-handedly ended the shinobi war with Iwa, the man regaled as the greatest hero of the leaf village.

They would have been more in awe of the situation if Naruto hadn't lost his temper and charged the blonde, dispelling the summons in the process. "YOU BASTARD!" he swore, swiping at the man and splitting him in two, the corpse not retaliating as the talismans that made up it's body reformed "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Kabuto smirked and placed the kunai in the reformed head of the blonde hokage, doing the same to Sarutobi before stepping back to enjoy the fireworks. "Get them." He ordered, and the two Hokages went into action, Sarutobi rushing Domon and Recca whilst Minato rushed the boy he'd wronged.

Naruto barely had time to blink before a fist filled with Chakra rammed into his stomach, pounding him into the earth and dragging him along like a trough. 'Shit!" the gennin swore, swiping at the man to drive him away, flipping out of reach even as he dodged a kunai 'He's fast! Gotta keep my-!'

"You're open." A handsome voice noted from behind, Naruto freezing as the back of a fist tapped against his cheek. The Yondaime stood behind him, back to back, his face neutral as he spoke. "I could have taken your head off right now." He stated calmly, Naruto shivering at the lack of emotion in his voice "Get your emotions under control, get angry and you'll make mistakes." He smiled sadly "Like mother like son I guess."

"Don't you talk about her!" Naruto snapped, slicing at the man's waist, only for a hand to grip his head and ram it in to the dirt.

"See?" the Yondaime reasoned, pulling his head up with a calm expression "You lose your temper over the slightest thing, you refuse to listen to sound advice and that could put your teammates, not to mention your life, at risk."

"My life's been at risk since BIRTH because of you!" Naruto snarled, trying to wriggle out of the man's grip, but the yondaime's knee held his back in place "You made my life a living hell!"

The Yondaime's face grew sad and he lowered his gaze "I am sorry." He offered "It may not sound like much but I had my reasons for doing what I did…"

"You were jealous that my dad got to mom before you did!" Naruto snarled, eyes flashing red as he fought against the man's hold "You couldn't get over the fact she chose HIM over YOU!"

The Yondaime's eyes widened as Naruto continued to fight him, surprised at the strength the boy's rage gave him "Calm down!" he ordered, "If you keep struggling you'll snap your spine!"

"GO TO HELL!" Naruto roared and spun round, vertebrae snapping even as he slammed the pommel of his sword into the Yondaime's Jaw.

--

"Gotta say I always wanted to see what you had gramps." Recca admitted, grinning at the reanimated sandaime cheekily "A battle between Hokages as it were."

"Rather presumptuous aren't you?" Sarutobi joked, slipping under Domon's attack and delivering a shoulder tackle that sent the giant soaring back "Don't take these old bones lightly!"

He flipped through a set of seals the duo recognized, immediately, scattering as he launched a Karyuu Endan at them that impressed even Recca. "Not bad old man!" the enjutsu-shi applauded, "But let's see you handle this!" he flipped through a set of seals and inhaled "Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu!"

"Doton!" Sarutobi called out "Doryuuheki!" the mud wall rose from the tar he spat, shielding him from the fireball. He blinked as Domon's fist shattered the wall, leaping back to avoid a follow-up strike from the giant's sword. "Impressive Domon-kun." He applauded, biting his thumb "Allow me to return the favor…Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Enko Ou Enma!"

A cloud of smoke erupted before the shinobi, Recca and Domon bracing themselves as it cleared to reveal the form of-!

"Sun Wukong?" Domon muttered numbly, gaping at the rather confused boss monkey as he looked around the battlefield as if in a daze.

"Where the hell-Sarutobi?!" Enma gaped, staring at the dead man in shock before realization set in, his features settling in a frown "Orochimaru again huh?"

"I'm afraid so." Sarutobi admitted "Nonetheless, I summoned you because these two seem determined to give me a workout."

"Feh, whatever." Enma grumbled "As your summon I have to do as requested…doesn't mean I like it though." That said the ape spun round and transformed into a giant bo-staff, the Kongo Noi, which Sarutobi swung about expertly.

"Ike! Enma!"

--

'This is a nightmare!' Shizune swore, watching the battle as she tried to heal the tendons in her foot, cursing at the thorough job Kabuto had done, impressed despite herself. She'd never encountered a medic of his caliber other than Tsunade-sama, in fact, she suspected the sennin could only have matched the youth in her prime, if at all.

'On top of that…' she noted 'we're facing off against the two strongest Hokages in the history of the leaf…Minato-sama and Sarutobi-sama!' she winced as the latter sent Domon crashing into a pile of boulders with a wave of the Kongo-Noi, deflecting Recca's Goukakyuu by leaping over it and swatting the boy with the staff.

--

"Come now Recca-kun," the reanimated hokage chastised, sounding like a disappointed grandfather "Did you truly expect to best me with skills from my own village? Need I remind you of why they refer to me as the 'Professor'?"

'Right…' Recca muttered, rubbing his jaw as he recalled Iruka's lectures 'Sarutobi Sasuke…the only man to have mastered every form of jutsu in Konoha that aren't reserved for clans, hailed far and wide as the greatest Kage of his generation.'

"I see you're finally coming to grips with the situation." Sarutobi noted as the youth's expression focused "I admit when I learned of your abilities at the exam I wondered how anyone could stand against such power." He smirked "Forgive an old man his guilty pleasures…but the thought of facing you brought some life back to these old bones."

"Ya don't say?" Recca replied with a smirk, flame gathering in his fist as he readied his right index and middle fingers "I always wanted to take a crack at you too old man."

"A battle between Hokages." Sarutobi noted drolly, chuckling along with Recca at the ironic pun "Very well then, let you will of fire burn!"

"OSSU!"

--

"Foolish." Minato stated, standing over Naruto, the talismans that formed his body unmarred by the boy's attempts "I even warned you, and now you lie defenseless."

Naruto grit his teeth, the chakra coiling around his spine popping it back into place, but with an agonizing slowness. 'Note to self,' he muttered 'avoid damaging spine if at all possible in future.'

"Were you not who you were the pain alone would have killed you by now." The yondaime noted, a look of sorrow on his handsome features "Though I suppose you take no pleasure in that."

"You're wrong…" Naruto spat, smirking at the man defiantly "I'm plenty proud of what I am…how many kids can boast their dad's the most powerful demon in the world?" he scowled "What I got a problem with…is your screwing us over because of some petty grudge."

"I held no grudge against the Kyuubi." Minato replied calmly, only to flinch as the blonde's eyes flashed crimson, a surge of palpable killing intent filling the air.

"DON"T FUCK WITH ME!" Naruto snarled, rising shakily to his knees even as his back protested, hair flailing wildly "YOU COULDN'T STAND HE BEAT YOU! YOU WERE GLAD HE ATTACKED THE VILLAGE! IT GAVE YOU A CHANCE TO SCREW HIM OVER!"

The man's foot caught the blonde in the face, sending him onto his back, causing him to look up into the hokage's blue eyes. "…I'll admit that I was jealous." Minato allotted, "I'd known Kushina ever since she'd first set foot at the academy." His smile grew warm "I'd tried so hard for her to notice me…even going so far as to act the dunce on occasion to get a laugh from her…she was so beautiful when she laughed."

He scowled suddenly "But even after we were put on a team she refused to see me as more than a teammate, a friend, even after everything we'd been through she wouldn't let me in…and then HE came along." Here his face twitched, irritation in those handsome blue eyes "We first encountered him during an excavation to the destroyed Uzumaki no kuni, Kushina's ancestral homeland…he was in human form, and Jiraiya-sensei wasn't with us at the time, otherwise we'd have known who he truly was and steered clear."

--

_Minato gasped for breath as he raised his head off the forest floor, gazing in horrified amazement at the figure before him._

_Clad in an expensive red kimono with armor, a samurai sword at his waist and a long main of crimson hair that trailed down his back, the man looked like something out of a fairytale…or a ghost story if one took into account the demonic red eyes, the facial markings and the claws._

_'A Taiyoukai?' the recently promoted jounin wondered wildly 'what are the odds of running into one of those?!'_

_"I see that this is the limitation of humans." The figure noted, lowering the single clawed hand he'd used to dispatch the protégé's of one of the densetzu no sannin "I am decidedly…unimpressed."_

_'Shit!' Minato cursed, recalling how they'd stumbled on the monster by happenstance, and how he'd attacked them without provocation 'Suzuka-chan nearly blinded herself when she saw this guy's chakra! And Ku-chan…' he swore as the volatile redhead leapt from the foliage, swearing like a sailor._

_"Teme!" Uzumaki Kushina called out, looking non-too-pleased at being sent flying earlier, blood running down her face from a wound on her temple, even as she launched herself at the man "Round two you bastard!"_

_"Orokana." The demon muttered, slapping her wrist aside with the same hand as before and, with the ease of experience, flipped her with the same motion, causing her to skid along the ground "If you wish to kill me, come quietly, are you really a shinobi?"_

_Minato seized his chance and leapt forwards, praying to whatever gods that were listening that he'd be in time as he tossed a kunai at the demon, gathering Chakra in his other hand. __"And just what are YOU doing?" a voice in his ear asked drolly, the future yondaime blanching as a clawed hand grabbed the back of his head and ploughed it into the dirt._

--

"I was ready to die," Minato admitted to the prone form before him "His power eclipsed mine by limitless amount, even now I still shake at the memory." He looked the boy in the eyes "Do you know how I survived?"

--

_"Pitiful." The demon scoffed, standing over the prone form of Minato in contempt "Not even worth the effort, if this is what the human's are capable off perhaps I should just wipe out the whole race…"_

_"Don't go knocking humans you fuzz ball!" Kushina's voice snapped out shakily, holding her elbow even as she tried to keep her footing._

_"Please, you couldn't even TOUCH me, let alone injure me." The demon scoffed, blurring forward with his hand drawn back "Die."_

_"In a year we could draw blood first." Kushina uttered, looking the demon in the eye, the claws stopping a hair's breath from her throat as she smirked "Caught your interest fuzzy?"_

_"A bold claim." The demon noted calmly, though the intrigue sparking in those hellish crimson orbs was undeniable "Care to elaborate, fire hair?"_

_"In a single year I bet we could improve so far that the next time we fought we'd not only injure you, but draw first blood." Kushina shot back._

_The clearing was silent for a moment, and then the demon smirked, stepping back and turning his back on the trio. "One year," he allotted "I suggest you get started, for I shall seek you out myself."_

_And with a burst of Kitsune-bi, the Kyuubi no Kitsune vanished._

--

"What followed next was the most arduous and difficult year of our lives." Minato continued "And sure enough at the following year he came for us." He chuckled "We lost, but then Kushina never promised a victory…"

--

_Kyuubi eyed the blood on his palm with interest, recalling the blonde Baboon's last maneuver with a hint of respect. 'High-speed Kawarimi…no, a specialized personal Kuchiyose ninjutsu, coupled with devastating close quarters ninjutsu.' He smirked at the man, even as he lay facedown on the ground 'Not bad…for a mortal.'_

_"Satisfied fuzz ball?" Kushina called out, gripping her side as she stood "We drew first blood, as promised._

_"True, but then again it took all three of you to do so." Kyuubi scoffed, regarding her with his crimson orbs "So hold your tongue woman."_

_"Why don't you make me?" Kushina shot back, blowing a rasberry, only to blink as her tongue was caught between a clawed thumb and forefinger._

_"The mouth is the gateway to disaster." The demon opined with a cool smirk "Best you not forget that, woman." He blinked as rather than being cowed, she bit his thumb, HARD._

_'Pointless.' He scoffed mentally 'She'll poison herself the minute my blood touches her…not that human teeth could pierce my skin.' He eyed the defiant woman carefully 'Still…this rebellion…this attitude…never have I encountered the like before.'_

--

"He left us with our lives," Minato concluded, "But from that day forward he was always on the edge of sight, watching and waiting in the shadows during missions, always on the edge of sight and sense." He scowled "I don't know when the two started seeing each other…but the thought of it made my blood boil."

He blinked as a surge of demonic chakra caught his attention, features settling in a grim frown as he watched the boy get to his feet. 'Looks like that was enough.' He noted grimly, readying one of his special kunai 'Forgive me, Ku-chan.' He whispered, eyeing the surge of demonic chakra 'But this has to be done…for both my sake…and his.'

--

Domon moaned as he opened his eyes, wondering how on earth an old man could be so strong even as he sensed the demonic chakra surge up across from him. His eyes snapped open, pain forgotten instantly as Naruto burst past him, face taught in a snarl as he slashed repeatedly at the yondaime with his clawed hands, katana seemingly forgotten.

'Something isn't right about this.' The giant muttered 'I've never seen the kid get that angry before…and he's only resorted to blows when he has to, but he's not even touching the sheath…what's going on here?'

He lurched as the battle between Recca and the sandaime shook the ground, the professor dodging a combination of Nadare and Saiha, boomerangs that both cut and detonated on impact. The old man lived up to his namesake all right, twisting and leaping like a winged monkey, sending a hail of Shuriken clones at the enjutsu-shi.

'Hanabishi has things covered.' He muttered, grimacing as he noticed Kabuto gloating over a terrified Tsunade, turning to regard Naruto one more time before cursing 'I'd better be paid for this!' he muttered, flipping through a set of seals even as he charged forwards.

Kabuto saw the giant coming and smirked, leaning back to deliver another kick to the sennin's face, only to squawk as the business end of Kubikiri-Houcho erupted from the earth like a lance, barely missing a most vital part of the male anatomy. 'Shinju Zanshu and kage bunshin?' the medic noted, cursing his near escape from life as a eunuch 'The big oaf's clever I'll give him that but-!'

"KUCHIBASHI-O!"

The medic balked as the Beak King madogu rammed into his side, followed by the chains wrapping around him securely 'Wha-what manner of weapon is this?!' he exclaimed, only to gag as Domon delivered a blow on par with Tsunade's right to his gut. The medic went flying, the chains tightening around him even as Domon yanked him back, delivering a blow with his knuckles extended to the medic's abused abdomen.

DOOM!

Domon released the medic from the chains as he was sent flying again, Kuchibashi-o coiling back to him and dangling like a bizarre Kusari-gama from his hands. He regarded the still form for a moment before turning to regard the much-abused form of Tsunade. 'She's a tough old bird.' He noted, impressed at the lack of any serious bruises 'Either that, or four-eyes back there wasn't much of a fighter up close without that weird scalpel of his.'

He flinched as he sensed movement behind him, growling as Kabuto got to his feet, looking no worse off than before. "Not bad Domon-kun." The medic applauded, "But simple Taijutsu will never defeat me…even one that negates the resistance provided by the surface layers of fat and muscle." He pointed at his already healing abdomen, the bruise and dent from the attack hissing as his chakra healed it "This is my personal jutsu, activating all my cells to promote the creation of new ones, replacing any dead cells in the process."

'At the cost of seriously munching up my chakra.' The medic admitted with some trepidation 'But then again, he doesn't need to know that.'

"So you heal fast, big whoop." Domon scoffed "I've been hanging out with the squirt so long stuff like that doesn't even faze me."

"Don't compare my ninjutsu to that brat's curse." Kabuto scoffed, "Unlike him, I don't rely on a demon as a crutch, and unlike YOU I have the intelligence to plot out my next attack, even as I am I'm more than a match for you."

'Crap.' Domon muttered, 'I can't abandon Tsunade-Baachan with everything going on…but with her in range I can't use the Toate, she'd be caught in the crossfire!' he grimaced 'Dammit…this ain't good, catching this bastard by surprise won't be so easy on a battlefield, and all those quick-fire jutsus are eating up my chakra like crazy.

He blinked, hiding his sudden insight with a scowl as he prepped himself for battle. 'Only one shot at this.' He muttered, 'Have ta make it count!'

--

'He's good.' Recca noted, grinning despite himself as he sent his Kusari-gama flame at the old man 'I may not be calling out the big guns just yet but the old man really is something else.

'**Combining two different nature jutsu in rapid succession, his skill with the Bo, his cunning and experience…' **Koku noted from within his mind** 'He would have made a fine addition to the Hokage clan had he existed back in our reality.'**

'**I don't like this.'** Homura growled his opinion **'Such a noble warrior, reduced to a corpse puppet by a treacherous serpent.'**

'**Kill him! Kill Him!'** Setsuna demanded insanely, his mad cackles echoing in the mindscape **'Such worthy prey! Let me roast him!'**

'Like hell I will!' Recca snarled, silencing the insane Karyuu 'And if you got the balls to suggest that again I'll-!' He trailed off, hurling a massive fireball that left an inferno as it exploded 'Why not?' he noted 'there's no way he'd expect that!'

--

"Charging me recklessly won't win anything!" Minato chastised, swatting the Hanyou's hands aside with ease, delivering fast paced blows in retaliation. "Cool your head!" He made his point by delivering a rather savage blow to the boy's temple, only to blink as Naruto took it head on without flinching, gripping the offending hand tightly.

"I needed that." Naruto grumbled, eyes once again the crimson ringed blue "Too much damn blood in my head…couldn't think straight."

Minato flinched as he felt the grip on his wrist tighten, noting that the boy's fingers had dug in up to the second knuckles. "You've been preaching 'shinobi this' and 'proper' that all through the fight." Naruto growled, popping the joints in his right hand "So in exchange, let me show you…just how wrong about me you are!"

Minato's eyes widened in disbelief as he recognized the signs before him.

--

"SHINEEE!" Kabuto yelled, smirking as the giant tried to catch his clone with that infernal beak weapon, only to pop out from under the ground and slap him over the heart with the chakra scalpel only to pause. 'Wait…' he muttered, eyes widening a the unusual resistance 'something…isn't ri-ARGH!'

"Surprised?" Domon scoffed, grinning down at the ashen-faced Kabuto as he held the medic's crushed elbow in his iron grip. And that wasn't a pun, the giant had activated Tetsugan the second the medic had dove underground, leaving a simple bunshin to 'distract' him "Weren't expecting this were you?' he mocked, only to hold out his free hand as chakra gathered "Don't worry…there's more where that came from!"

Kabuto's horrified expression intensified as he sensed the colossal surge of chakra in the giant's free hand.

--

"Ninpou: Shuriken Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" Sarutobi called out, a hail of shuriken descending on Recca and apparently ripping the boy to shreds, only for the body to split apart, flames pouring out to envelop the stunned Hokage. 'A…Katon Bunshin?' the man wondered in amazement, only for the corpse to embrace him, the face of Recca shifting into a rather stunning young woman.

"Ryu no en Roku shiki: Rui." Recca explained, even as the Hokage cried out as the flames engulfed him, "Sorry Old man, but your lecherous ways won't work on her."

"I don't know…" Rui noted with a coy pout, revealing her cleavage to the distraught cadaver "He's not that old…and he's better looking than Koku."

"URUSEI!" Recca sniped pointing at the wiliest of his dragons with his teeth clenched and a flush on his face "Daddy won't tolerate it young lady!"

"Oh poo…" Rui sighed, gracing the embarrassed cadaver with a smile as she held him in place "Oh well, as you will master."

Sarutobi's eyes widened as he recognized the gathering of chakra in the boy's hand, a warm smile coming to his face.

--

Tsunade, shocked beyond all belief, could only gape in surprise as three genin succeeded in a week what took her teammate and his disciple three whole years to master.

'What are these kids?' she wondered, their battle cry snapping her out of her daze as three spheres or rapidly rotating chakra were rammed into their respective targets.

**"RASENGAN!"**

--

And so the battle for the Hokage's concludes, with a triple Rasengan barrage!

How will the serpent handle this outcome?

Wesker: Speaking of outs, her comes Nemesis.

Nem-ito: Murrrrr...

Hellboy: (tosses him a pack of smokes) Here, just stay away with the smoe...those things smell awful.

Wesker: I agree, nothing beats a good cigar.

Nem-ito: (shrugs ang lights up) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

* * *


	42. Chapter 42

Must...Keep...Updating...Starting...to...sound...like...William...shatner...!

Hellboy: Okay, we gotta stop this.

Wesker: I agree, the coffee machine's been acting strange.

Hellboy: How strange?

Wesker: Well it's tentacle raping the wuss.

Kakashi: #PLORGHLE!

Hellboy: Ouch...that strong?

Wesker: Kyugan had a cup of the stuff before he went like this.

Hellboy: Dayumn!

* * *

Densetzu no Sannin; Clash!

"**RASENGAN!"**

Three miniature maelstroms of chakra were rammed into three differing torsos, one a traitorous medic, another a proud professor, and the last the techniques creator. All three felt as if their insides were being torn to shreds, but considering the state of two of the victims, this really wasn't a pressing issue, as given time they'd simply reform as talismans provided their summoner didn't cancel the jutsu.

A little known fact about Edo Tensei was that while the bodies were indeed indestructible, should the summoner lose consciousness or run out of chakra prematurely, then those bodies would begin breaking down until the soul escaped.

Since Orochimaru was infamous for cutting losses and making fast escapes, the thought had never occurred to him to sort out this little flaw, after all, what did he care if the zombies kept fighting so long as they completed their objective?

Kabuto, like his master, was also one to cut and run when things got too hairy. Unfortunately, it was a bit hard to get away when a gorilla like Domon had a firm grip on your elbow. So firm in fact, that the whole limb was torn out at the socket when Kabuto was sent blasting off into a boulder some thirty feet away, the blunt trauma, exhaustion from overuse of his chakra and shock from his injuries rendering the medic unconscious, severing the ties that held the faux bodies together.

--

'Impossible…' Orochimaru insisted, despite the evidence of his own eyes, watching as the hokages began to crumble to dust where they lay, the bodies used to summon them crushed to powder by the sheer force of Minato's jutsu 'Such a jutsu…in such a short amount of time…when did they master that?!'

"I told you…" Jiraiya snorted, "The number of jutsu isn't what defines a shinobi…though I'll admit it's an asset." He smirked down at his students as they stood, facing their opponents with their palms outstretched "What defines a shinobi is…the guts to never surrender, no matter what!"

Orochimaru scowled, only to flinch as Jiraiya stepped towards him, rotating his shoulder.

"I think fighting with you did some good after all." Jiraiya chuckled "I think it's burning up whatever drug Tsunade used on me earlier faster than she thought it would." He smirked "Well, they don't call me hot-blooded for nothing."

"That's not how I recall it," Orochimaru taunted, looking at the man mockingly "I'm fairly certain they called you the village idiot."

"And you were the albino freak with the tongue." Jiraiya shot back, smirking at the man's flinch "Oh what's wrong, hit a nerve?"

"This is childish." Orochimaru scoffed disdainfully "And if you dare attempt that 'I know you are' sketch I'll castrate you where you stand."

--

"Not so talkative now huh?" Naruto stated, standing over the dissolving form of the late Yondaime with a frown "Got anything else you wanna lecture me on." He scowled as the man started chuckling "What's so funny?"

"Just like your mother…she always made a point of showing me up at everything I did." He sighed "Summoning, tree-climbing, water walking…everything but my rasengan, which she just didn't have the patience to master." He smiled at him again "Thank you…for coming at me like she would have."

Naruto was silent for a moment, before looking down at the man solemnly, so many questions burning in his mind but one rising steadily to the fore. "Why?"

Minato sighed, closing his eyes again "I truly did not have a choice in the matter." He replied "When your father attacked I knew the only way to defeat him was a seal, but using the Shiki Fuuin on myself would have sealed the demon in a corpse, dragging him with me to wherever the souls devoured by the shinnigami go."

He regarded the boy solemnly "As I said, I was jealous of your father, but I did not hate him…and I could never hate any child of Kushina's, even if it weren't mine…" he regarded the boy solemnly "It was simply a turn of fate that you were the only child born at the time of the attack…and I knew that, even if you never knew, your father would protect you from within the seal."

Naruto was silent, staring down at the man with his eyes shadowed, his face grim. "I hated you…" he admitted, "For so long, ever since I found out what happened and who I was…" his fists trembled "I wanted to drag you back from hell or wherever and beat you to death with my bare hands…I wanted you make you suffer, like you'd made me suffer."

Minato's sad eyes grew wide as tears fell on him, looking up into the weeping features of the boy, no, the young man that had defeated him.

"I hated you so much…" Naruto repeated, sniffing as the tears lined his cheeks "But now…I don't know what to do…what to say…" he sniffed "Dammit…why did it have to be this way?!"

"Naruto," Minato called out, his tone gentle "None of this is your fault…there is more at stake here than just Konoha." He held the genin's gaze solemnly, even as his torso dissolved "I sealed your father into a vessel for a reason…there is trouble afoot, I don't know what, but someone out there is coveting the bijuu."

"Akatsuki." Naruto growled, clenching his teeth and knuckles so tight they actually began to pop "I bumped into a pair of them a while back."

"Beware of them." The yondaime warned "I don't know what they're planning…but no good has come from coveting forces beyond the control of man." He smiled one last time, the talismans that made up his face disintegrating as he did so "I'm going now…"

"If…" Naruto began, stumbling slightly as he spoke "If you see my mom…on the other side…" he swallowed "If you see her…tell her-!"

"She already knows." Minato assured him, reaching out a hand and clasping Naruto's tightly "Live strong…Uzumaki Naruto!"

And then he was gone, the talisman's scattering to the wind, save for the few Naruto held clenched between his fingers.

--

"This is the second time I've experienced the sensation of dying." Sarutobi noted, and odd note of humor in his voice as he lay in a burnt, tattered heap in the dirt "I have to admit it loses its grandeur after the first time."

"I'll take your word for it." Recca deadpanned, shivering slightly "If it's all the same to you I'd like to put off experiencing it until later."

"I pray you do." Sarutobi chuckled, sighing as he looked towards the sky "Such a beautiful day…you truly only appreciate such things when time has run out."

Recca remained silent, standing over the defeated hokage with a frown, clenching his fist tightly 'Dammit!' he groused 'This isn't how I wanted to fight the old man! Not like this! Not on that damn snake's terms!'

"Calm yourself Recca-kun." Sarutobi chastised "I truly enjoyed my fight with you, regardless of who was pulling the strings behind it." he frowned as he regarded the decay of his body "I merely wish there was more time…there is much I would tell you."

"Isn't there any way for you to come back?" Recca pleaded, looking at the man desperately "I mean, without Pedo-hebi's freaky jutsu?"

"No," Sarutobi replied with a sigh, "Death is the one thing even a Kage cannot defeat…even this shell is merely a semblance of life given shape by my soul and mind."

"Dammit!" Recca swore "There has to be a way to keep you here! There has to-!"

He trailed off, eyes widening in realization as he sensed a presence grow in the back of his mind. **'This is the circumstances I warned you of.'** Resshin stated, his commanding tones echoing throughout the mindscape as his burning gaze seemed to bore into the boy's soul **'Remember…this is also a burden of the Hokage ningun.'**

Recca stood in silence, before crouching down before the fading cadaver "Saru-ji…I have a way to keep you here…but it's your choice." He allowed a flame to form in his hand "If you accept, I incorporate you into my flame, so you basically take up a spot in my mind along with the Hachiryuu." He looked into the man's eyes "You'll still be yourself, but unless I release you, you'll be stuck inside me till I die."

Sarutobi eyed the boy solemnly for a moment, before smiling and letting out a weak chuckle "Yare-yare…you whippersnappers always manage to surprise me." He joked, smirking at the young man "I'm not ready to shift off this mortal coil without seeing you all grow into fine shinobi…I hope you don't mind my taking up residence."

"No problem Saru-ji." The enjutsu-shi chuckled "Word of advice, stay away from the blind guy, Setsuna, he's fucked up in the head." He then scowled and removed his tekko, allowing his flame to erupt as the kanji on his arms lit up one by one, their respective dragons circling the air above him.

"Ichi-shiki: Nadare…Ni-shiki: Saiha…San-shiki: Homura…Yon-shiki: Setsuna…" the enjutsu-shi chanted "Go-shiki: Madoka…Roku-shiki: Rui…Shichi-shiki: Koku…!" he grit his teeth as he brought his arms down to his sides, flame encircling him and buffeting his robes "Ryu no en; Hachi-shiki…RESSHIN!"

--

Everyone gazed on in alarm at the pyrotechnic display, the sight of seven Karyuu weaving around the Recca scaring the living daylights out of Gamakichi, Ton-Ton and Shizune, whilst Tsunade gazed at them in awe. The coiling shapes combined into a pillar, which heralded the arrival of their leader, the almighty, undisputedly most powerful Karyuu, Resshin.

"**Honorable warrior." **He growled out, eyeing the amazed Sarutobi's remains with his eyeless stare** "Your worth is recognized by the Karyuu…you are well deserving of the title Hokage."**

Flames gathered around the cadaver as the dragon spoke, gentle, painless flames that seemed to revitalize the old man.

"**As such," **Resshin continued **"It is with open arms that we incorporate your 'will of fire' with our own…welcome, Brother of the flames."**

"Resshin!" Recca called out, holding out his palm as Sarutobi was set alight "TENSEI EN!"

The flames engulfed the cadaver utterly, growing hotter and brighter until only the bare essence remained, as they dimmed Sarutobi stood as if bathed in liquid fire, his features younger, but not by much, and his back tall and proud, dressed in his battle armor.

"**This…will take some getting used to."** The new flame spirit noted uneasily, before smiling at an exhausted Recca **"Don't push yourself…we'll talk later."**

And with that the spirit of the Sandaime disappeared in a plume of fire, leaving behind a stunned audience.

--

'This is bad…' Orochimaru groused, realizing that without the hokages he was seriously outgunned. 'Damn Kabuto, why'd he have to lose consciousness now?!'

"It's over Orochimaru." Jiraiya stated flatly, eyes serious as he stepped towards the cornered serpent "Surrender and your death will be quick."

Orochimaru scoffed, looking at the man disdainfully "Over, Jiraiya? Is that what you believe?" he chuckled darkly "In that case…catch me if you can!"

Jiraiya swore as Orochimaru leapt off the serpent, lunging towards Naruto, who was still gazing at his hand distractedly 'DAMMIT!' he swore, leaping off the snake and attempting to follow, only for the serpent's tongue to latch around his ankle.

'The dragon boy is out, and the giant is too far away.' Orochimaru muttered, lunging forwards with the Kusanagi extending from his gullet 'I'll strike down the Kyuubi-gaki before he becomes a viable threat!'

He smirked as the blonde looked up, red eyes widening as he realized the oncoming threat too late. The Kusanagi dug deep into the blonde's unprotected back, the kimono top staining with blood as he staggered. "Nothing personal gaki," the serpent hissed mockingly, even as the blonde eyed him in a rage "But you're too much of a threat to my plans to be allowed to live…"

And with that he twisted the blade, eliciting a geyser of blood from the blonde's chest cavity, the shocked blue eyes widening as the blade was pulled out, before falling onto his face.

--

"NARUTO!" Domon roared, rounding on the gloating Orochimaru in a fury "YARO!"

Orochimaru dodged the giant's enraged swings with the ease of experience. True he'd have preferred to have been at his peak, but that still didn't mean he couldn't read the movements of a genin, even one as impressively powerful as the giant. "I applaud your tenacity." He mocked, weaving under a blow and slipping round to take the rear, Domon gaping forwards in shock "But you're two decades short of proving a challenge for me when I'm serious."

Kusanagi sung out again, only Domon's Tetsugan saving him from becoming a headless corpse. "Quite a defense you have there." Orochimaru noted as he resumed dodging "But something tells me that changing your body to metal consumes vast amount of chakra…how much longer can you keep this up?"

Domon didn't answer, he merely continued in his endeavors to flatten the snake, unaware of the drama unfurling behind them.

--

Tsunade honestly didn't know what was going on anymore. One minute she'd been watching what should have been a one-sided slaughter, the next the three genin had turned the tides with a jutsu only Jiraiya and one other had managed to learn.

Now she was crouched near the body of the Kushina's brat, turning him on his back only to recoil in horror at the sight of the blood seeping out of him.

'Mustn't run…mustn't run…!' she thought wildly, opening the kimono and severing the mesh armor underneath to get a better look at the wound. 'Right through the heart, the kid's got less than a minute at most…seconds at the least.' She placed her palms over the wounds, gritting her teeth as she tried to both staunch the flow of blood from the wound whilst ensuring the flow to the arteries proceeded, healing the ruptured muscles in the process.

"Its…useless." Kabuto's voice called out, the medic having regained consciousness; a smirk on his taut features "Orochimaru-sama's Kusanagi…wounds from that cannot be healed properly."

"Shut up," Tsunade growled, hair hiding her features as she focused solely on the task at hand "I'll deal with you later."

She grit her teeth as the bleeding stopped, but it was short-lived as it seemed the boy's heart was slowing down. 'Don't die..' she pleaded, desperation causing her to channel more and more chakra into the process 'Not again…please…not this time…not this boy…' her eyes widened desperately as she tried to get his heart going 'Don't die…don't die…don't die!"

She blinked, eyes widening as a hand reached up to touch her cheek, looking down to find the boy smiling up at her weakly. "I win…" he stated, hand trailing to the necklace hanging from her bosom "Big-booby neechan."

Tsunade's eyes widened, watching as the boy fell asleep, still clutching the necklace, tears forming in he eyes as she smiled at him, seeing the faces of her beloveds, the sound of his heart beating away comforting her. 'One more time…' she pleaded, smoothing his cheek tenderly, before unfastening the necklace and placing it around his neck 'Just one more time…I'll put the odds on you…so please…make them proud.'

--

'That's Tsunade for you.' Orochimaru groused, noting the relief on the sennin's face and realizing that he had to ditch the lummox or there'd be no end of trouble. He dodged a strike that vivisected a boulder, using his tongue to latch onto the giant's neck and hurl him into another patch, sending a few explosive kunai along with him. 'That should hold the brute for a while.' He noted, lunging towards the two blonds with a grin 'Sorry Tsunade, but I can't have you-!'

A delicate fist that belied the gargantuan strength within plowed right into the serpent's kisser, sending him sprawling backwards, Kabuto catching him in mid-air despite being in an arguably worse condition.

"Not this time…" Tsunade growled, standing where she'd slugged her former teammate, a hole in her side from where the Kusanagi had caught her "I'm not letting you have your way this time!"

"F-foolishness." Orochimaru shot back, jaw snapping back into place with a sickening crack "Why would one of the densetzu no sannin care for the life of a measly genin? Especially one like him?" He lunged forwards, spitting a mouthful of blood at the woman to distract her, only to blanch as he realized something that terrified him.

Not only was Tsunade rearing back for a right straight he'd once seen level a good sized hill…she was no longer trembling at being covered in blood.

If anything, she looked bloody furious.

"You want to know why?" Tsunade asked, having sent the serpent sailing back with the punch, smirking as the tattoos on her head formed, the jewel on her forehead glowing brightly "Because as of today, his life, and the lives of all Konoha, are my responsibility…as the Godaime hokage!"

Not waiting for a reply the blonde Sennin made a tiger seal, the chakra coming off her causing her to glow slightly and her hair to float. 'In-Fuuin: Kai!' she announced, eyes closed in concentration as she ignored Shizune's pleas to leave the seal alone "NINPOU: SOUZOU SAISEI!"

--

Jiraiya smirked as he watched a scene he hadn't seen for years unfold before him. Tsunade stood, not the brash, trash-talking gambler, but the brash, trash-talking warrior princess sennin of Konoha, as he'd referred to her in their youth.

'Took her long enough to get her act together,' he chuckled, getting to his feet with a smirk 'though I'll be damned if I'm calling her Tsunade-sama.' He scowled as Orochimaru's Nancy-boy called his master over, rubbing blood on the bastard's summoning array with his one remaining arm. 'Dammit!' he swore, flipping through the seals and praying he had enough chakra left 'This had better work!'

"**KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"**

Three massive explosions tore through the landscape, the smoke created blinding Shizune and the other onlookers, the trio blissfully unaware in their forced slumber.

For the first time in what had to be a decade, the three boss summons of the densetzu no sannin stared across at each other, Gamabunta and Katsuyu looking into the baleful, serpentine eyes of Manda. "Well, well." Bunta noted with a grunt, eyeing his fellow bosses with an interested expression "You didn't tell me you guys were having a reunion Jiraiya, I'd have brought sake."

"Baka," Jiraiya scoffed, "Quit making crappy jokes at a time like this…it's time we settled some old accounts." He glared at his former teammate "Orochimaru's goin' down…today!"

"Orochimaru…" Manda hissed angrily "The hell are you smoking? You know better than to summon me for these damn messes of yours! You want me to eat you?!"

"P-please forgive Orochimaru-sama, Manda-sama!" Kabuto called out placatingly "You will receive fitting compensation for your troubles!"

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?!" the serpent snapped "Don't you DARE speak to me you stupid brat!" after chastising the medic he eyed Orochimaru "You better prepare a hundred sacrifices for this, Orochimaru!"

"Katsuyu…" Tsunade spoke out, eyeing Naruto and other genin out the corner of her eyes, her face set in a grim determination that had been absent for years "Take the brats to Shizune."

"Hai," Katsuyu agreed, sending three clones of herself, one with Naruto on her back, the other two to collect the recumbent forms of Recca and Domon. While this was going on, Gamabunta exhaled a mass of pipe smoke right into Manda's face.

"Bastard…" Manda hissed, glaring at his long-time enemy furiously, baring his fangs for emphasis "You want me to turn you to toad jerky, ah?!"

"Just try it," Gamabunta shot back incitingly reaching for his sword "I always wanted a new snakeskin wallet."

Katsuyu said nothing, not being the particularly violent type to begin with, but readied herself for battle nonetheless. "You crossed the line Orochimaru," Jiraiya shot at his former teammate "We no longer see you as a comrade!"

"Oh really?" Orochimaru sneered, chuckling darkly from where he stood atop his treacherous summon "Comrades? You and I? Don't make me laugh!"

"The densetzu no sannin are no more." Tsunade called out, eyes determined to see this through to the end "And so is your life!"

--

For all their grandstanding, Manda and Gamabunta were beaten to the punch as Katsuyu opened the fight, launching her Zeshi Nensan acid at Manda, dissolving the surrounding rock even as he wrapped around her like a boa constrictor, tightening his hold even as he made to bite her head off. Gamabunta's blade caught him in the joint of his maw, the snake's fangs shutting on steel instinctively, tightening his grip on Katsuyu as she exploded into several million, miniature copies of herself, scrambling to reform while Bunta and Manda held each other at bay.

"Bunta! Gimme some oil!" Jiraiya yelled out, the toad boss' cheeks swelling as he sprayed a fountain of flammable liquid at Manda, Jiraiya setting it alight with Katon jutsu "GAMA YUENDAN!"

The gargantuan fireball consumed Manda utterly, burning away at the serpent's hide, only to reveal it as an empty husk, Manda having shed the skin and switched underground. Bunta swore as he saw the bastard lunging for him, grabbing his scaled foe, only to curse again as he realized it was only the tail, turning too late to see Manda's gaping maw descending on him from behind.

Manda's victory was short lived as he realized that both Bunta and Jiraiya were smirking at something behind him, followed by the mother of all splitting headaches as Tsunade jabbed Bunta's massive Dosu into his head, effectively shutting his mouth and nailing him to the floor.

Orochimaru, looking to even the odds somewhat, sent his tongue out to ensnare Tsunade, only for the blonde sennin to yank him right into another right straight to the jaw, falling to lie on his summon's head in a stupor.

"Orochimaru…" Manda hissed furiously "How dare you shame me like this…I'd swallow you whole were it not for this hole in my mouth…but next time we meet, prepare yourself!"

And with that, the snake boss vanished, leaving his summoner and a distraught Kabuto to fend for themselves.

--

Tsunade flinched as Orochimaru slithered off, the tongue slipping from her neck and grip and returning to its master, even as Jiraiya gazed on from atop Bunta. The two sennin readied themselves for anything their former teammate threw at them, only for him to start chuckling.

"Tsunade…" Orochimaru hissed "Even if you don't heal them…there is another way to regain use of my arms…" he raised his head, revealing the young face under his torn skin, Jiraiya and Tsunade flinching in shock and disgust at how far their former friend had fallen "I WILL destroy Konoha." He vowed, confidence in every syllable, despite his and Kabuto's condition "Jiraiya…Tsunade…until we meet again…old friends….Kukukuku…"

And with that the serpent slithered underground, Kabuto vanishing in a plume of smoke after his master like the lackey he was, taking his severed arm with him.

"No wonder he felt different." Jiraiya muttered as he walked alongside Tsunade towards the comatose teens "A different person's body…that bastard." He flinched as his body complained at the harsh treatment it had endured "Damn…busted my ribs and leg."

Tsunade said nothing as she stood over the boys, watching as Shizune tended their wounds. Recca was merely suffering from exhaustion, Domon had a concussion from the collision and subsequent explosion Orochimaru had sent him through, and Naruto was sleeping away, the worst of his wounds already healing.

"Tsunade," Jiraiya chuckled, looking at they necklace around the blonde's neck "You really do suck at gambling."

Tsunade said nothing, merely smiled down at the boy that had brought her back to her senses, the living embodiment of the dreams of her beloved Dan and Nawaki. It didn't matter if she'd lost…she'd gained something new to believe in.

A spasm went through her body, the medic flinching, as she realized the after effects of her jutsu were setting in. Jiraiya watched in amazement as his teammate withered before his eyes, the beauty and luster fading to be replaced by a woman many years older than she should be. Even the Sandaime hadn't looked that old when he died.

"I'll be fine after I rest," Tsunade assured him, noting to her surprise that he didn't seem disgusted at her appearance, only concerned and shocked "We'll spend the night in town and when the brats wake up, we'll head for Konoha."

"Tsunade…" Jiraiya began, reaching out for her shoulder concernedly, only to blink as she smirked at him from under her faded grey locks.

"Don't refer to me som familliarly anymore." The aged woman countered with a coy smirk on her aged lips "From no on you'll refer to me as…"

--

"GODAIME HOKAGE?!" the trio repeated in shock, gaping at the blonde bombshell before them in shock. Tsunade, smirked, bathing in the attention and loving every minute of it. She'd really missed the dumbstruck looks that came with startling people with her brilliance in her retirement.

"So big booby neechan's the Godaime now?" Naruto repeated, looking to Jiraiya for clarity, only for the sennin to smirk, and not entirely because of the title.

"Oh? You don't look to happy about that boys." Jiraiya noted, smirking at them as he watched Tsunade out the corner of his eyes "what's up?"

"Well…compared to sandaime-jiji…" Recca began, eyes shut and looking decidedly non-impressed with the visually more attractive leader before him.

"She's brash and kinda selfish…" Domon muttered, arms crossed as he nodded "loose with money, short tempered, petty…"

Shizune noted the growing number of veins bulging on her master's forehead and made to silence the boys as Jiraiya got out of the line of fire.

"Are you sure she can do it?" Naruto asked, sweat dropping as he counted off the number of faults "Tell ya the truth if she's the fifth I'm worried for the village, then there's the fact she's so vain she hides behind a genjutsu…should a hokage really be like that?"

"OUTSIDE BRATS!" Tsunade snapped, getting in their faces and startling the other customers "NOW!"

--

"Just because I'm the hokage, don't think I've changed my opinion of you brats." Tsunade warned the trio brashly "All I'll need is this one finger to take you down again."

"Quit looking down on us BABA!" Recca shot back, earning a look of terror from Shizune and a sigh from Jiraiya "We're ten times tougher than last time!"

"Yeah!" Naruto boasted, "Like it or not, I'll be taking that title from you myself one day!"

Tsunade blinked, then smiled at the trio, "Is that so…alright…" she clenched her fist "Then show me what you've got!"

The trio charged forwards, ready to show off their stuff against one of Konoha's finest. Ten seconds later they lay in a battered, bruised, smoking heap on the floor.

'Brutal.' Jiraiya and Shizune noted, watching as Tsunade crowed over the defeated genin superiorly 'They never stood a chance.'

--

'Dammit…' Naruto swore, dusting himself off in embarrassment as they prepared to return to Konoha 'And here I thought mastering the rasengan would've earned me some respect.' He glowered at the blonde as she walked past him to pick up his Hitai-ate from where it had fallen 'Stupid, vain, money squandering old-!'

"Naruto." Tsunade stated, the Hanyou spiking as he wondered if she'd read his mind "A man's words are never given lightly…you know that right?"

Naruto blinked as the sennin turned to him, his Hitai-ate in hand, she knelt down until they were eye to eye, a small blush lining the boy's cheeks as she leaned in and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Become a fine man someday," Tsunade stated, grinning at him at how adorable he looked, even as she refastened the Hitai-ate, "That's a direct order from your Hokage."

Naruto blinked, then grinned and pulled off a salute that would make the strictest ANBU drill sergeants weep for joy "OSSU!"

"NARUTO YOU BASTARD!" Domon and Recca swore, launching at the boy in a jealous rage "YOU ALREADY HAVE HINATA YOU PLAYBOY!"

"WHAT'D I DO?!"

--

'Nawaki…Dan…' Tsunade smiled, watching as the trio dashed through the woods at the rear of the group, still roughhousing, the necklace glinting in the sunlight around Naruto's neck 'Your dreams…live on…through that boy.'

_Behind the group, the spectral images of two figures, one a boy, the other a man, smiled as their beloved sister and lover returned to her rightful place, her home, the village in the leaves._

--

And so the new Godaime is elected, what troubles await her in Konoha?

Omake:

Naruto: Hey...are we forgetting something?

Domon: don't think so...why?

Recca: Couldn;t have been that important if we forgot.

Back in Konoha

Fuko: So what do you think they'll bring us back?

Yanagi: I hope it's sweets!

Kagero: Perfume would be nice.

Shigeo: You don't need perfume, you smell great all the time!

Fuko: Ero-jiji...

R&R!!

* * *


	43. Chapter 43

Welp, I'm back.

Hellboy: You okay?

Kyugan: As can be expected, no more coffee for this writer! (Holds up a keg) Just some good old Potchiin!

Anderson: Amen!

Hellboy: Holy! What's he doin' here?

Kyugan: Relax, he won't bite, Ive been feeding im sedatives for some time now.

Anderson: Amen!

Hellboy: What...kind of sedatives? (Blinks as Kyugan hands him a pill) What the hell? This is Viagra!

Door opens, Hienkel (from the omake, not actual hienkel) sticks her head in

Hienkel: Father? Are you coming to bed? Yumie's getting impatient.

Anderson: AMEN!

Note: Alcohol is an evil, evil substance that shopuld only be used responsibly for comedic purposes.

No insane killer priests were harmed in the making of this fanfic...just Kakashi, who had to be returned to the hospital for plot conviences.

Random medic: God...what the hell happend to YOU?

Kakashi mummy:...whimper...

* * *

Return to Konoha; and the after party.

"Konoha's changed since the last time I saw it." Tsunade noted, smiling wistfully at the odd tower or building that had been added to the scenery since the last time she'd stood atop the Hokage tower. "All of this is now my responsibility," she noted with a smile "As the new Godaime Hokage."

Behind the woman stood her entourage from the trip, the hokage's advisors, Homura and Koharu, and Aoba and Genma, the two acting as attendants for the Hokage's return.

'These kids never cease to amaze me.' Genma noted with a smirk, eyeing the trio as they stood at attention, chest puffed out so far it looked like they were about to float off 'I know who to bet money on from now on.'

"I still can't believe you talked her into it." Homura muttered, more than a little surprised considering the state Tsunade had been in when she left.

"HA! Not even the beautiful Tsunade-Hime can resist the charms of such a handsome devil as Jiraiya-sama!" the toad sennin boasted, earning a few dirty looks from his students.

"Right," Recca drawled, a deadpan expression on his face "Remind me again, GREAT ONE, who almost died from being poisoned?"

"Probably shoulda spent less time looking at her breasts and more time looking at her hands." Domon muttered, an equally unamused expression on his own.

"Quit looking cool Ero-sennin," Naruto warned with a snort "you just milked that mission as an excuse to take big booby neechan out for drinks."

Genma choked at the blonde's comment, Aoba flushing scarlet alongside him as they waved at the boy to keep his trap shut. Homura and Koharu were gazing at him in shock and Jiraiya was seething at the trio for ruining his image. However, rather than the expected bloodbath, Tsunade merely chuckled and shot Jiraiya a smirk.

"They're right you know, but then I doubt you'd have succeeded in bringing me back without them so you deserve that much." She sighed happily "Besides, it was fun drinking together…but don't make anything out of that if you value being able to piss standing up."

"TSUNADE!" Koharu snapped, looking speechless "As a lady, and as Hokage, you are to refrain from speaking in such a manner!"

"Ah shut up ya old bat," Tsunade muttered, smirking at Koharu's gob smacked expression, only for Homura to hold up a hand.

"Genma, Aoba," the bearded advisor called out, "Make preparations for Tsunade's inauguration and contact the Daimyo." He nodded, "Spread the word amongst the village too."

"Hold your horses!" Naruto snapped out, startling the adults with his volume, not for the first time "Neechan's got something to do first!"

"Ah right," Tsunade noted, shaking her head with a wistful smile as she walked away from the railing "Jiraiya, who was It again?"

"You going senile in your old age?" Jiraiya muttered under his breath, flinching at her scowl "It's Kakashi, the Uchiha brat and Gai's student Lee."

--

Shikamaru yawned, walking alongside his father towards the hokage's office, wondering why the hell, they'd been summoned there. There wasn't even a hokage at the minute, just the elder's holding down the fort and handling mission requests. He blinked as he noticed three familiar faces he hadn't seen in a while come into view. "Yo, Naruto, Recca, Domon." He called out "What're you guys doing here?"

"You still alive Shikamaru?" Naruto joked, earning a raised eyebrow from genin "We figured you'd have found life too troublesome and decided to sleep forever."

"Wise ass." Shikamaru shot back with an annoyed grunt, though he did smirk along with the others "Anyway, I'm just here on some annoying business with Oyaji."

"It's good to see you again," Nara Shikaku noted proudly bowing to the two sennin with a smile "Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama."

"Well if it isn't Nara!" Tsunade noted in amazement, "All grown up…and is that your kid there?" she smiled at Shikamaru, who flushed, before turning back to the elder Nara "You been taking care of the deer? Their horns make for good medicine."

Shikamaru blinked between the chatting adults and leaned in to the trio conspiratorially. "Level with me, who's the chick with the attitude?" he asked, looking at the woman as she patted his father on the shoulder.

"That's the new Godaime, Tsunade." Naruto replied, smirking at the boy's startled expression "And if you think that' s weird, she's really in her fifties!"

Shikamaru gaped at the trio as they walked off, promising to hang out later as they caught up with the sennin duo and Shizune. "THAT'S the new Godaime Hokage?" he muttered, even as his dad sidled up to him, "Who the heck is she?"

"Son," Shikaku said with a smirk "That is the strongest, most beautiful woman alive…and the sole kunoichi of Sandaime-sama's legendary Sannin team."

"Mendokuse…a FEMALE Hokage?" Shikamaru moaned, not really caring if he sounded sexist "As if there aren't enough bossy women in my life." He shuddered as an image of a cackling Sakura and Ino hovered over his head, only to blink as his old man put a hand on his shoulder.

"Shikamaru," the elder Nara stated "Men cannot be born without women, without women to whip them into shape, men are useless." He smiled wistfully "Even the toughest of women can be tender around the man she loves."

Shikamaru watched his old man walk away with a deadpan expression 'Oh you're whipped alright pops." He muttered, before making his way to the administration.

--

Sakura sat at Sasuke's bedside, hands clenched in her skirt as she waited for him to awaken. The last battle with Gaara had been a turning point for the girl, if Lee hadn't been there to catch her she'd have been killed so many times.

'What exactly did I become a shinobi for?' she wondered, her family having been of decidedly civilian stock prior to her acceptance into the academy 'Wasn't it to prove I was the best? So I never got hurt again?' She eyed the recumbent bishounen before and flinched, 'Yet even now…all I can do is sit on the sidelines…even that monst-Naruto,' she corrected swiftly 'did more for the village than I did.'

She blinked as the door opened, admitting the most beautiful woman she'd ever laid eyes on. One look at her would put all the groupies in the world to shame, and Sakura felt no different, noting the woman's impressive physique and comparing it to her own. It was like comparing a mountain to a molehill, no contest.

"Eh? Haruno?" Recca noted, blinking in confusion at the sight of the pink haired kunoichi "How long have you been here? You look like hell."

"Damn girl," Domon winced, noting the kunoichi's haggard expression "When'd you last get some sleep?"

Sakura blinked, unused to the concern on their faces, only to blink as Naruto put a hand on her forehead. "Yikes! Shizune Neechan. I think you better look at this." The blonde called over to a pretty brunette behind the buxom blonde.

"It's just stress and lack of proper sleep and nutrition." Shizune reported after checking over the flushing pinkette, "She'll be fine with a little rest and a good meal." She smiled at the girl "Have you been keeping an eye on him all this time?"

Sakura blushed and was about to say something when she realized Tsunade was gesturing to surgeons, who pulled Sasuke's severed arm out of a scroll, preserved by the parchment and wards placed on it. Her eyes widened as the medic removed the seals and pressed the arm to its place on Sasuke's shoulder, taking a few strands of hair from his head in the process.

"We're taking him into surgery." Tsunade instructed, nodding to Shizune "Instruct them on the reattachment process and make sure they don't screw up."

"Hai!" Shizune nodded following the gurney, only to blink as Naruto stopped her in the doorway with a hand on her wrist, tight yet gentle.

"Take care of him." The blonde asked her, looking up at her with those unfathomable red ringed blue eyes "I'm counting on you, Shizune-neechan."

Sakura could only gape at the concern on the blonde's face, recalling how he'd looked at the exam for the first time. 'He regretted cutting of Sasuke's arm…' she noted, eyes widening 'he went off to rescue him even though they'd been fighting to kill each other.' She blinked as Domon and Recca grabbed her arms and grinned.

"You heard Shizune." The enjutsu-shi stated with a grin that made her skin crawl "A meal and then straight to bed young lady."

"And what d'ya know!" Domon added with a grin that reminded her WAY to much of the forest tigers "We were just about to go out for yakiniku!"

"EH?! B-but I can't eat that!" the girl exclaimed, thrashing in their grip as they frog-marched her towars the door "I'll get fat! No-one will want me if I'm fat!"

"No-one wants to marry an anorexic skeleton either." Tsunade pointed out, startling the girl and smirking "You think I got like this by starving myself? Live a little girl."

"Easy for you to say neechan." Naruto scoffed, shrugging mockingly and shaking his head "All that booze you drink probably goes to your boobs."

'Booze?' Sakura repeated, even as Tsunade chased the terrified jinchuuriki down the hallway, fists raised threateningly above her head 'What does booze have to do with anything.'

--

Shikamaru grumbled as he listened to his teammates have fun at his expense. He wasn't the ONLY one promoted to chunin after all, but of course they had to make a big deal out of it. He blinked as Recca and Domon entered, an unconscious Naruto over the giant's shoulder and a nervous Sakura between them. "What happened to Naruto?" the Nara asked, noting several large lumps on the blonde's skull "Looks like he lost a fight with a wrecking ball."

"Worse," Recca mumbled, "Tsunade-Baachan beat the crap outta him for making a crack about her boobs."

Asuma sprayed sake across the table, soaking Chouji, who didn't really mind so long as the food wasn't ruined. "Tsunade?" he repeated, blinking at the teen "Tsunade-sama's returned?"

"We brought her back with Ero-sennin." Domon muttered, setting Naruto on the bench next to Shikamaru "She's the new Godaime too."

"A female hokage?" Ino asked, sounding excited as she clapped her hands "That's amazing! What's she like?"

Asuma chuckled as he noted the look that passed between the two conscious members of Konoha's infamous prankster trio. Equal parts torment and annoyance, with a splash of terror. 'No doubt about it,' he chuckled 'they bumped into Tsunade-sama all right.'

"She's something else." Domon and Recca uttered at the same time, Asuma chuckling and flagging down some more Yakiniku and Amazake.

"In that case, this is a double celebration." The current head of clan Sarutobi toasted "To Shikamaru's promotion and Tsunade-sama's return!"

"KAMPAI!" everyone cheered, only for Recca and Domon to blink halfway through and ogle the lazy genin with disbeleif in their eyes.

"I didn't ask for this." Shikamaru muttered, knowing he was going to catch hell for this later.

--

"Ino…" Sakura began, catching her rival's attention as she eyed her cup of Amazake nervously "Do…do you ever feel like…we're letting everyone down?"

Ino blinked, looking at her normally confident rival in surprise.

"I mean," Sakura continued "The guys are always pulling ahead, even though in class we were always better, out in the real world they've advanced far beyond us." She shivered "What's the point of being a shinobi at all if you can't be of sue to the others?"

Ino stared, wondering if someone had spiked the Amazake, only to look up as Naruto raised his head. "You're not useless." he informed the pinkette, "No matter what I said back then you've made it this far on your own, when countless others died or quit during the exams." He smirked "And you and Ino-chan here have been visiting Sasuke-teme at the hospital, that's pretty diligent for people who think they don't matter."

The girls flushed at the praise, wondering when on earth the blonde had regained consciousness, even as he skewered a piece of meat. "Now I'm no expert, but if you want Sasuke to notice you, you need to get stronger." The jinchuuriki noted with a smirk "Teme only looks for strong opponents, so if you want him that badly you'd better be prepared to put some dents in that thick skull of his."

"You want us to hit Sasuke?!" the girls snapped, looking suddenly furious, like he suggested they burn down the hokage tower "What kinda sick freak are you?!"

"The kind that's seen what happens if you get depressed and doesn't want you two doing something stupid." Naruto shot back, silencing them with his tone "You're my comrades…that, and Sasuke needs all the help he can get." He frowned "I found people to help me…Sasuke still thinks he can do it alone."

The girls blinked, eyeing the solemn look in the boys eyes in confusion, before Ino, master of mind games, swallowed nervously and nodded "What do you want us to do?"

"Get stronger." Naruto stated, "Train until your can't move and then train some more," he smirked "And eat a proper meal, I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure Sasuke lies a girl with a little more meat on her bones." A plume of smoke and he was sitting before them in his Oiroke form, fully dressed, but with his cleavage showing behind the kimono top. "In fact," Naru-chan noted with a coy purr, smirking at their dumbstruck faces as she held her arms behind her head "I'm pretty damn confident he does."

That said, the Hanyou canceled the illusion and then went off to join in the fun as Asuma and Domon tried to beat each other in an Amazake drinking contest, leaving the stunned kunoichi staring at him in awe. Sakura blinked, turning to face her rival, who mimicked her, the two staring at each other, struck dumb. "Did Naruto just…FLIRT with us? As a GIRL?!"

"Did you see the size of her bust?" Ino stammered, motioning with her hands for emphasis "what do you think he drinks to get them like that?"

Sakura opened her mouth, and then shut it, honestly seeing that as a damn good question considering Naruto was a GUY for heaven's sake, and yet had even Ino beat, and she was the most developed member of their year.

--

Hyuuga Hinata sneezed as she stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, looking around in confusion before sighing and discarding the bra she'd been attempting to try on and waving her sister over "Sorry Hanabi-chan, these are too small."

"Eh? You went up another size again?" the younger Hyuuga exclaimed, cupping the startled heiress' breasts from behind with wide eyes "Neechan SUGOI!"

"AH! Hanabi-chan! Don't!"

Hyuuga Hiashi glared pointedly at the numerous servants that had paused about their duties at the sound of his daughters' words. They promptly resumed them, trying to avoid looking at each other. 'She certainly takes after her mother.' He noted, wiping a thin trail of blood away from his nostril with a handkerchief, before heading off for the meditation garden.

He felt the sudden urge to make use of the icy waterfall set up there.

--

"Well look who's back," Fuko noted, a superior smirk on her face as she greeted the trio in the hallway of the compound, her Chunin vest on, bulging suggestively around the chest area. "Guess I outrank you losers again, you can just call me Fuko-sama!"

"Hai, Fuko-sama!" Domon cheered, the startled chunin backtracking as he started kissing her hand "Please be kind to your eternal servant-PRGH!"

"Baka," Fuko muttered, having kicked the giant into the wall, a tick bulging on her forehead "Where's the fun if you're all willing?!"

"I still say it isn't fair," Recca muttered, arms crossed in a childish pout "Why were You, Tokiya and Shikamaru the only ones to be promoted?"

"Obviously because we used out heads." Tokiya replied, smirking at Recca as he appeared in the hallway "The councilors obviously have taste."

Naruto sighed as his aniki lunged at the hyomon-ken master and began to throttle him, deciding to head back to the hospital to check on Sasuke, it didn't look like things here were going to calm down anytime soon.

He ducked a stray icicle as it shot past him. Perhaps a stop at the ramen stand was in order as well.

--

Sasuke awoke to find himself in a hospital room, eyes groggy and feeling like he'd been run over by a boss summon. The last Uchiha in Konoha sat up, blinking as he felt pressure on the stub of his right arm, realizing the limb was back, not a mark in place to reveal it had been severed at all.

"You're awake." A voice called out, Sasuke whipping round to find Naruto sitting across from him, leaning on the back of a chair, eyeing him with those damnable red ringed blue eyes. "That's neechan for you, she's not called a medical prodigy for nothing."

Sasuke grit his teeth and glared at the blonde, wanting to get out of bed and throttle him, only to blink as the blonde stood suddenly, crossing over to him and looking him in the eyes.

"Do you know how lucky you are to be alive?" Naruto asked, voice eerily calm "People have DIED from that jutsu your messed up brother put you under, Kakashi-sensei nearly died facing it, even WITH a sharingan to counter it."

Sasuke growled and would have activated his own sharingan, but was still too groggy to focus right and settled for matching the blonde glare for glare.

"Does you life mean NOTHING to you?" Naruto ground out "Don't you CARE what happens? How can you revive your clan when your dead?"

"Urusei…" Sasuke ground out; teeth clenched tight enough to crack "What the hell would you know about it…you damn orphan…"

"Big words considering your last living relative is a psychopath with a shark for a buddy." Naruto shot back, the two practically nose to nose "I don't know the whole story, and God knows you're about as likely to tell me as Ero-sennin is getting Neechan on a date," he sighed, looking at the Uchiha with shockingly concerned eyes "Just…don't push yourself too hard man…let your teammates take up some of the slack."

Sasuke blinked, startled at the concern in those normally mocking eyes as Naruto stood up, looking embarrassed. "I gotta go," the blonde stated "Gotta keep aniki and Domon from killing each other y'know." He smirked "Say, when you get better, lets spar sometime…loser buys ramen."

Sasuke blinked as the door shut, staring at where the boy had disappeared in confusion, clutching the Tenfuuin on his left shoulder tightly.

--

Tsunade's inauguration as the Godaime Hokage was a loud, celebratory affair. Konoha was partying for a week as result, the Godaime actually managing to visit every damn bar and haunt she'd frequented in her youth as well as the few that had sprung up in her absence. Tenten had been so thrilled by the return of her role model she'd actually kissed the trio on the cheeks, earning Recca and Domon dirty looks from Yanagi and Fuko, whilst Negi glared murderously at Naruto, who looked dumbstruck.

As it were it seemed everyone was in a partying mood, even Sasuke managed to turn up at the party, though he remained sheltered in a corner with fellow pretty boy Neji, watching the goings on of lesser mortals with aloof expressions. That is, until Tenten got sloshed and ended up soaking her shirt, leading to Negi being carted out on a stretcher for blood loss.

--

Naruto was cackling at the Hyuuga's predicament when he felt two taps on his shoulder, looking round to find a nervous Sakura and Ino looking at him. "What's up?" he asked cheerfully "Not having fun?"

"Ano…Naruto…" Ino began; pushing her fingers together in a disticntly Hinata-style manner "We…wanted to talk to you about…the other day."

"Huh?" Naruto wondered, noticing their impressively red faces and sweat dropping in mild alarm 'Are they drunk? I thought I saw Ero-sennin hanging around the punch bowl.'

"It's about what you said," Ino said, looking to the side in embarrassment "and well…we wanted to ask you…"

Hinata leaned closer from behind a pillar shooting the two kunoichi jealous glares as she listened in on the conversation.

"We wanted to ask you…what do you drink to make your boobs that big?"

Hinata face faulted, toppling into a potted plant that crashed into Kurenai's head, sending her face first into Asuma's crotch. Anko let out a cheer as the startled jounin tried to apologize to each other, both flushing scarlet. Naruto merely blinked, trying to process what he'd just heard.

"I mean, sure it's a henge but it's what you look like as a girl right?" Ino reasoned, waving her hand dismissively "So tell me, what's the secret?"

"Uh…eating a good meal…and lots of milk?" the blonde hazarded, looking round for a distraction, only to gape as Anko wrapped herself around him like a feather boa.

"Care for a walk on the wild side sweetie?" she asked, grinning as the blonde went ramrod straight, the two rivals too busy discussing the benefits of milk to notice, "We can finish where we left off since before the exam."

--

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as Naruto was dragged past him in the arms of the female proctor from the second exam. He had to admit to a little spark of jealousy at the attention the blonde was receiving, only to note the look of pure terror on the boy's face. "Sasuke! Help!" the blonde yelped, reaching for the Uchiha desperately "She's freaking scary when she's like this! HELP!"

"Hm? Sasuke?" Anko noted, turning her eyes to look the suddenly nervous Uchiha up and down "Well, more the merrier I always say!"

"Run Sasuke!" Naruto yelled, waving his arms frantically as Anko began making one-handed seals "For the love of all things sacred…RUN!"

Sasuke bolted, eyes wide in terror, only to yelp as several hundred snakes wrapped around him tightly, dragging him alongside his teammate towards their doom.

"Wait!"

Anko paused, the two boys looking over at their apparent savior in relief, only to blink at the nervously blushing features of Hinata Hyuuga. "Ho? You trying to stop me girlie?" Anko asked, raising a coy eyebrow at the girl, Naruto shaking his head to warn the girl away, only to blink as she stepped forward shyly.

"C-Can I join in?"

--

Neji Hyuuga awoke the next morning with the mother of all hangovers and it's mother in law bickering in his head. He slapped a hand on the alarm clock near his futon and rolled over, hoping to catch a few extra minutes of sleep when he realized he wasn't alone. To be more accurate, his teammate was in his futon with him…and we don't mean the cute one with the buns.

"Sakura-saaaaaan…" Rock lee moaned, curling up to the stupefied Hyuuga like an amorous amoeba and planting a kiss on his cheek.

"KAITEN!"

--

Sakura awoke with a sneeze to find herself staring at a familiar ceiling with a familiar poster of Sasuke and a decidedly familiar scent of flowers rising from below.

She sure as hell wasn't in her room; otherwise the first thing she'd smell would be her mother's attempts at cooking. As it were she looked up as the door opened to reveal Ino's dad, who looked hung-over, and with lipstick all over his face. "Ino-chan…" Inoichi began, trailing off at the sight of the pink-haired girl in his daughter's bed, eyes widening as his princess sat up next to her.

"Papa?" Ino wondered, looking around in confusion, only to blink as she realized she was sharing a bed with her best friend/rival. And they were both naked.

Yamanaka Inoichi keeled over backwards with all the grace of a noble redwood on a future course to becoming several thousand rolls of toilet paper. The girls stared at each other for a moment, unable to come to grips with what had apparently happened.

"You say nothing and neither will I." Sakura promised, looking her alarmed rival in the eye.

"Agreed." Ino shot back, sighing in relief before blinking as she noticed Sakura was blushing "What?"

"How was it for you?"

--

Kakashi and Gai awoke chained to a wall.

The less said about what they was doing chained to a wall the better. The state of dress of the several female ANBU standing in front of them shall be left to the readers' imaginations as well. Needless to say some very youthful things were happening in the ANBU headquarters…secret dungeon.

--

Iruka was currently sitting in front of Ichiraku Teuchi, who was, fittingly, stroking a loaded shotgun. He'd heard legends of the old man before; Out of all the restaurants in town his was the sole one that refused to buckle down to threats to ostracize Naruto, and all attempts to force the issue had been dealt with, swiftly. The bodies of said attempters were never recovered.

"So," Ichiraku Teuchi, master of ramen, former ANBU black ops commander and sensei of one Morino Ibiki noted with a small frown "You've been getting it on with my little Ayane have you?"

--

Domon woke up in a tree, the same tree Fuko had thrown him into for trying to flirt with her the night before. He sighed in depression and made to climb down, unaware that the wind mistress had left him two interesting gifts, a peck on the cheek, and a 'Property of Kirisawa Fuko' tattoo on his rump.

The less said about how he got the tattoo the better.

--

Tokiya lay on his back, thoroughly exhausted, and not a little bit traumatized by the events of the night before. It would seem Hanabishi's father had been right when he'd pulled him aside one evening, the quiet ones really were wildcats in the sack.

Haku lay with her head on his chest, the curves of her body pressed against his own, a sheet of pale silk hiding their decency.

'I'm going to be in a lot of pain if I try to get up aren't I?' the Hyomon-ken master noted wisely, realizing not only was he currently frozen to the futon, but that Haku still had her Senbon pouch on…and nothing else.

--

Recca awoke to find his head in Yanagi's lap, the girl's drool dropping onto his head, causing him to shoot upright. Deciding to let her sleep, he crossed the hallway to the kitchen, blinking as he heard giggles coming from his mom's room.

"Mom?" he called out, opening the door to see what was going on, only to gape in horror at the sight before him.

"CLOSE THE DOOR YOU EEJIT!" Shigeo bellowed, hurling gunpowder balls at his adoptive son as Kagero flushed, holding the sheets up to cover herself.

"GAH! MY EYES!" Recca screamed, running down the hallways covering the violated organs "BLEACH! I NEED BLEACH!"

--

Asuma sat on the balcony of Kurenai's apartment, lighting up a cancer stick and cursing as the lighter refused to catch. Damn, he'd know Kurenai was feisty, but he hadn't expected that!

He blinked as he noticed he wasn't alone, Sasuke and Naruto sitting dazed on the balcony of Anko's apartment, stripped to their shorts, looking shell-shocked and dehydrated. Needless to say, Anko had lived up to her reputation as the wildest Jounin this side of fuck, and the less said about Hyuuga women in heat the better.

The three men regarded each other, Asuma offering the boys some of his smokes, which they accepted, Sasuke using a basic Katon jutsu to light the three up. They each took a drag, the boys coughing at their first hit, before looking out at the sunrise, an odd aura of kinship sinking over them.

There really wasn't anything else to say.

--

Tsunade awoke to find herself lying naked on the hokage desk and Jiraiya scribbling away with his back to her. She frowned, walking up behind him and punting him out a window, blinking as she realized he'd dropped his notebook, picking it up and skimming through it despite her better judgment.

_And so the princess returned with the sage to the village, and an era of prosperity reigned as the villagers celebrated her return with a village wide orgy that lasted a week-_

"Damn pervert." She muttered, though it was with a small smile as she flipped to the start of the book, raising an eyebrow as she read through the story.

Genma and Shizune tried to tiptoe out of the room without being seen; it wouldn't do to interrupt the sennin, especially when she started to blush.

--

No joke this time, no time, gotta work.

See ya'll soon, if you review!

Review if you love fanfiction

* * *


	44. Chapter 44

And so we pick up after the orgy.

Let me assure you, that several characters WIll receive individual character development fics related to filler eps/movies, most notably Kaouru.

Kaouru: Sweet!

Kyugan: Aw have a cookie!

Kaouru: Yay!

* * *

Enter the sound 4; Sasuke's decision.

Several months after the citywide hangover, things had finally gotten back to a semblance of normal. A few changes were noteworthy however, for example, Gai and Kakashi seemed to be spending a lot more time in each other's company, the normally energetic jounin oddly silent as they chugged sake together.

Lee had to be returned to hospital because of injuries sustained from being kaiten'd into a wall at point blank range. Neji was still trying to 'purify' himself in the meditation halls.

Iruka was spending a lot more time at Ichiraku Ramen, though it seemed Teuchi was actually quite happy to see him these days, and not just as a customer. The sensei still couldn't get used to being called 'son-in-law'.

Anko, Hinata and Kurenai seemed to be glowing, a fact most other kunoichi were commenting on. Word passed round the grapevine and soon everyone knew the gist of what had gone on the night of Tsunade's appointment as Hokage. Needless to say Asuma, Sasuke and Naruto opted to stay hidden for a time, at least until the Hokage could instate a few restraining orders.

And speaking of the genin…

--

Sasuke stood on the roof of the hospital, ironically enough the only building in Konoha with a roof that could survive a direct assault from jutsu. Talk about priorities eh?

He gazed across at Naruto, the two looking each other in the eye, the wind rustling as they sized the other up. "Hope you didn't get rusty in that coma teme." The Hanyou mocked, smirking coyly "I'd hate to have to hospitalize you again."

"Hmmph," Sasuke scoffed, a small smirk on his features "What are the terms, Usara-tonkachi?"

"Straight out spar, no cursed seal or relying on other powers." Naruto replied, gripping his sword hilt "other than that…anything goes."

Sasuke smirked and readied himself, Sharingan activating as he slipped into a ready stance. The two eyed each other warily, before promptly vanishing into thin air, only the faint sound of clashing metal signifying where they'd disappeared.

"Not bad." Recca noted, sitting atop a water tank as he watched the proceedings "I'm sorry for saying it, but Uchiha's pretty damn good."

"Can't even see 'em move." Domon noted, eyes shut as he let his senses expand "I can keep tack of 'em like this tho'…watch your head."

Recca blinked, only to swear as one of the combatants used his skull as a springboard to leap in the air followed by the other "DAMMIT! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE STEPPING!"

The spar continued, Sasuke sending a massive Goukakyuu that scorched the roof, Naruto switching with a clone and descending from above with the back of his sword. Sasuke dodged in mid-air, the two kicking out at each other as they traded blows.

Sasuke had taken the blonde up on his sparring offer a while back, and the two had gotten together periodically to duke it out. At first it was tag-wins, where the first to land a blow won, then it moved up to knockdowns, then takedowns, and now outright combat.

Slowly but steadily, the Uchiha seemed to be catching up…if anything, he and Naruto were pretty evenly matched in regards to speed and strength.

'The benefits of rivalry.' Domon noted with a smirk, noting his own rival holding his head and cursing 'The Uchiha just needed a kick in the pants.' He blinked as he sensed a surge of chakra, cursing as the two readied their best techniques. "Not again! OI!" he yelled, stepping away from the wall, "YOU'LL RIP THE ROOF OFF!"

"RASENGAN!"

"CHIDORI!"

Recca cursed and prepared to summon Saiha, only to blink as Kakashi appeared out of nowhere and grabbed the two genin's wrists, hurling them at the water tanks where the attacks collided, Sasuke's making a large hole, Naruto's barely an indention.

"This is the third time this week." The copy-nin growled, looking a little annoyed despite his normally aloof demeanor "While I applaud your desire to improve I won't condone using techniques like that on your fellows."

Sasuke merely snorted, looking away dismissively but shooting Naruto a look the blonde returned; neither apologetic nor scornful, a simple, voiceless conversation passing between the two.

'You okay?'

'Yeah.'

'Same time tomorrow?'

'Count on it.'

--

Kakashi sighed as his team vacated the roof, leaning against the wall as he read his beloved porn. "Naruto's WAY too young to handle the rasengan…and so are the others for that matter."

"Look who's talking," Jiraiya shot back, leaning against the wall below, "Sasuke may remind you of yourself, but you were a lot more stable than he was…teaching him Chidori was damned foolish." He smirked "Still, at least my tutelage helped the brat mature somewhat…got me some damn good research in the process."

"I heard about that." Kakashi noted with a wince "How in the hell did they escape from Anko?"

"Who said they escaped?" Jiraiya replied, grinning as Kakashi actually dropped the book in shock "Yeah my reaction was the same…the next issue's gonna be a killer."

Kakashi let out a little whimper as a tear fell past his cheek, actually thanking God for a full second as he cast his eyes heavenward. "Still," Jiraiya cut in, "What exactly is the relationship between those two?" he looked up at the masked jounin "It's different than with the rest of your troop."

Kakashi sat in silence for a moment, before shrugging with a dismissive sigh "Well, remember what your relationship with Orochimaru was like…before he left?"

Jiraiya's face twitched in comical sourness and he swore, muttering to himself.

--

Sasuke sat against the trunk of a tree, sighing as he looked up at the skyline. Ever since the conversation at the hospital, and the subsequent party and kidnapping, he had come to a startling revelation regarding his standing with the village.

He was their poster boy, their little pampered pet. Everything he'd wanted he'd been given on a silver platter. Everything except what he really needed: Power, and the skill to wield it properly.

He' d assumed, that since he was an Uchiha, he would easily surpass all obstacles in his way and succeed in killing Itachi. He had quite forgotten that not only was Itachi an Uchiha, but he was the famed prodigy of the clan, who not only wiped it out, he did so in a single night.

And that was the sticking point. No matter how strong Itachi was, he still just a single man against an entire clan. Even Uchiha's had their limits, and fighting off numerous sharingan would have been too much for a man on his own. Itachi had had help, so there must be at least one other Sharingan user out there.

Not his girlfriend obviously, Uchiha Makiko had been found dead by Itachi's katana in her apartment, and certainly not a friend, as he'd killed his closest friend Shisui to obtain the Mangekyou. So obviously someone the prodigy held in high enough regard to seek assistance from, but not someone that was on the clan register.

'A bastard child born outside the clan?' he wondered, biting his thumb at the thought and grimacing 'Possible, but unlikely, they'd have received no proper training otherwise…'

He had reached this conclusion during the spars, realizing how sorely lacking he'd been in regards to hands-on experience. Even Domon, mongoloid that he was, had sought out proper tutelage, rather than pasting together what worked from another's style.

Which meant if Sasuke wanted to get stronger he'd have to do it the hard way, but the fact of the matter was that he didn't want to go pleading to Naruto or the others. Even if they WERE his teammates, the fact they had outshone him spoke for itself. The council would simply pat him on the shoulders and offer jutsu scrolls and the like, but no proper tutelage, like he was a dog being thrown a bone.

No, Sasuke needed tutelage, a master to take the would-be avenger and hone him into a proper shinobi. Kakashi was out, the idiot had revealed that over during the course of the exams, and he doubted Gai would be willing to teach him squat, not that he'd put up with the loudmouthed jounin anyway. Asuma had a team of his own to worry about, though if their skills were any indication he focused more on teamwork than self improvement. And Kurenai was a genjutsu and tracking specialist, something the Uchiha clan had PERFECTED years ago.

Then there was the sennin, but he doubted they'd give him the time of day. Sure all three of his teammates had benefited from Jiraiya, but Sasuke didn't feel like growing a pair of jugs just to get training, and seeing as Tsunade was not only a MEDICAL specialist, but was already taking most of the local kunoichi under her wing, he didn't see any benefit in going to her. That left only one other person, someone who people had hailed as the greatest genius of his time.

"Orochimaru…" the Uchiha muttered, even as his senses went on high alert, looking up to see four figures silhouetted against the moon.

--

"Perhaps you didn't have to send all four of them?" Kabuto suggested, wincing as he felt his shoulder acting up. Orochimaru had ordered it reattached by his other assistants and so it had been done, didn't mean it didn't require further treatment, which Kabuto provided through his personalized Jutsu. It was slow going but in a few months he'd be back to normal.

"Those kids seem pretty interested in determining Sasuke's strength." Orochimaru chuckled, resting in his bed, arms bandaged and at his sides "What are his chances…Kabuto?"

"It'll be a slaughter," Kabuto predicted, a cool smirk on his face "The way Sasuke is now, he won't even provide a challenge."

"Too true, the leaf has spoiled him." Orochimaru agreed, chuckling darkly "but if we are to offer him the proper guidance, we have to reach him before that brat does."

Kabuto winced at the mention of Naruto, his body still aching from the damnable rasengan Domon had delivered. 'Naruto-kun has a nasty habit of changing people.' The medic noted 'If he gets to Sasuke before we do...'

--

"Who are you?" Sasuke asked, refusing to show any form of alarm as he looked over the four older teens with his trademark alert scowl.

"The sound four," the one with six arms replied with a smirk, "I'm Kidoumaru of the east gate."

"Jiroubou of the south gate." The fat-ass introduced, looming over the group and eyeing Sasuke carefully.

"Ukon of the west gate." a rather strange looking teen greeted, Sasuke noted what looked suspiciously like a second head growing out of his back.

"Tayuya of the North Gate." the sole female of the group greeted, her coarse voice hinting she had even coarser language.

No sooner had the introductions finished did Sasuke find himself on the receiving end of a scramble. He blocked a blow form Tayuya and flipped over Kidoumaru to deliver a kick to Ukon's larynx, sending the teen barreling into Tayuya. Jiroubou attempted to take the rear, only for Sasuke to lop his arm through Kidoumaru's bizarre rope-belt, grabbing the fatty's arm and hurling both into their teammates, only to blink as he realized they had switched with Logs and had been fooling with him the entire time.

"You bastards caught me at a very bad time," the Uchiha growled, looking over his shoulder at them in annoyance "You wanna have a go? Then bring it."

--

Naruto sat up in his room, wondering why on earth he felt like something bad was going down. "Something the matter squirt?" Domon called out, holding up some playing cards as he and Recca played old maid.

"…Nothing." Naruto assured him, though he didn't take his eyes off the window, a frown marring his features.

'Sasuke…'

--

Sasuke coughed, hanging upside down by his ankle in the grip of Ukon, who smirked superiorly. "What? This is the guy Orochimaru-sama's got his eye on?" the teen scoffed, shaking his head derisively "Even Kimimaro's better than this."

Sasuke clenched his teeth but kept silent, feigning weakness as he tried to figure out what they wanted. Apparently the snake sennin had been thinking of him as well, and had sent his little errand boys to fetch him.

"If you stay in this piece of shit village," Ukon stated brashly "You'll never get stronger, just another half-assed shinobi, bound by human limitations." He smirked "You'll just keep rotting away…playing nice with your so-called friends."

"Come with us." Tayuya stated, looking down at the Uchiha authoritatively "If you do, Orochimaru will give you the power you seek."

Sasuke would have replied but an image of him and Naruto sparring, and the climactic battle at the chunin exams shot through his mind, stalling him. Could they really offer him power…if so, what was he gaining by sparring with Naruto and the others? He'd far surpassed his old limits prior to the exam, and ever since his limb was re-attached he'd tripled his training to make up for the time spent as an invalid.

Hell, not even Kakashi could understand his development, it was far beyond what had happened with the jounin.

Ukon took the silence as indecision and hurled the Uchiha at a wall. "Well?" the impatient member of the sound four called out "Make up your mind…you coming or not?!" He watched as Sasuke caught his breath and smirked "Mataku, even though we can force you to come along, Orochimaru-sama prefers secrecy." He scoffed, quirking a lip coyly "Wasting our time on a weakling like this, I should kill you and be done with it."

"That so?" Sasuke stated, glaring up at them with his sharingan activated, the cursed seal already covering half his face, startling the four Oto-nin "Just try it!"

He lunged forwards, straight at Ukon with his fists drawn back, only to be sent sprawling, gaping up at the branded man. "You shouldn't use the seal so casually." Ukon chastised "Especially seeing as you can't even control it." he smirked "Keep the Tenfuuin released for too long and it'll start consuming your body."

He snorted, looking the stunned Uchiha over "You're currently in the first state, so the process is still slow, but once the seal completely consumes you…you're lost forever."

"In exchange for the mark's power," Tayuya elaborated "We four are bound to Orochimaru…nothing can be gained without losing something else…for people like us, it's freedom." She looked the boy over "Tell me, what's your purpose? Are you content to stay in this village with your friends? Licking your wounds?" she frowned "Forgetting Itachi?"

Sasuke flinched, barely hearing the parting words of the four as they departed, gripping his fist and glaring at the moon.

--

Naruto awoke abruptly, looking up at the moon and rising to his feet, almost instinctively. Something was calling him, he didn't know what but he had to follow it. He snuck out of the house with all the stealth he could muster, slipping from alleyway to alleyway as he made his way towards the lake not too far from the Shinobi Gakuen.

"Yo," Sasuke called out, sitting at the dock as he had as a child "I figured you'd be out here, don't ask me why."

"You're up late yourself." Naruto noted, walking down to the dock and pulling up alongside the Uchiha. "S'matter can't sleep?"

Sasuke was silent, sitting at the dock and scowling at the reflection of the moon. "Naruto…I told you all about my dream…right?" he continued at the blonde' nod "And you and the others have all seen Itachi…THAT'S what I'm up against."

"Can't say I envy you." Naruto muttered, standing beside the boy as they looked out at the lake "Still, Recca Aniki probably understands you a whole lot better than I do," he smirked "Never had much of a family to miss after all."

Sasuke was silent for a moment, looking out at the lake with his obsidian eyes. "I'm not like you Naruto…I can't get stronger for others." He continued despite the blonde's look of confusion "You fight for recognition, I fight for power, your aim is to earn respect, I just want revenge." His eyes hardened "Your dreams are set in the future…mine are locked in the past."

Silence fell over the two, neither looking at the other as the waters of the lake lapped against the dock. "Orochimaru's henchmen approached me a while ago." Sasuke admitted, the blonde tensing at his words "They want me to go back with them." He snorted at the silence "Don't you have anything to say to that?"

"What do you want me to say?" Naruto replied, looking at the Uchiha calmly "You want me to flip out and start squawking nonsense and sweet nothings to make you stay?"

"Hardly," Sasuke scoffed, resting his chin on his knees "I suppose…I just wanted someone else to know…" he got to his feet, hands in his pockets as he made his way for home.

"Sasuke." Naruto called out, not looking at the teen as he spoke, eyes shadowed "You know I'll come after you if you go."

Sasuke's eyes widened, and then closed, a smirk lining his face as he chuckled "Will you now…to drag me back?" he looked over his shoulder at the blonde "You sure you can do that?"

"Even if I had to break your arms and legs first." Naruto promised, a smirk on his face as he looked over his shoulder at the Uchiha. They held each other's gaze for a moment before vanishing via shunshin back to their respective homes.

--

Several nights later, the waning moon hanging in the sky, Sasuke stared at the picture that he'd received to commemorate the formation of Team 7. Recca Domon And Naruto stood in that order, arms around their shoulders as they gave the cameraman the finger. Sasuke was glaring at Naruto, who had him in a headlock, and Kakashi was standing in the background, palming his face and looking as embarrassed as hell.

He dimly thought of taking it with him, reaching out to touch the glass, only to smirk and place it facedown on the desk.

--

"And so he was all like 'WHOA!' and I was all like 'HROAH!' and then he came at me with these freaky kunai and-!"

Hinata giggled, sitting across from the blonde as he rattled on about his fight with the revived Yondaime, simply content to listen as they sat under the base of a tree. They had finally gotten round to that date Naruto had promised her, but since there wasn't a lot of places he was welcome, even now, they decided to spend it on a picnic.

Not that it mattered, after that wild night at Anko's apartment the boy could have taken the heiress to a trash dump and she'd have followed him with a skip in her step.

Naruto had fallen in love with her cooking, actually weeping for joy at how good everything tasted. When she revealed she'd learned from her mother he'd praised the late Mrs. Hyuuga at the top of his lungs, much to her embarrassment.

As it were, they were watching the light danced off a lake when Sakura happened by, looking up at them in surprise. "Ah, Hinata-san, Naruto! Good timing!" she called out, walking up the hill, scrolls in hand "Sorry to bother you, but Tsunade-sama wants you in her office, something about missions."

Naruto moaned and shook his head, having completed a delivery mission to a nearby village a few days ago. Domon and Recca were currently off with Fuko on a mission to Takigakure with a guy they just knew was undependable, and Tokiya and Haku were on patrol duty with Genma's team. Everyone seemed to be on double duty; even the academy had been shut down till things eased up.

"Sorry, looks like we'll have to postpone this till later." Naruto apologized, smiling at the heiress as she flushed, before nodding to Sakura and vanishing via shunshin.

"I have to learn that someday." The pink haired medic in training vowed, before looking at Hinata, who was still flushed dazedly "So what base have you let him get to yet?"

"S-SAKURA-SAN!"

--

"Yo, Neechan," Naruto called out, walking in only to find a sober, solemn looking Tsunade sitting behind the desk. This was never a good sign; Tsunade sober at this time in the day meant something serious was going down.

"Uchiha Sasuke is gone." The Godaime reported, nodding to an ANBU in the corner "He must have slipped out during the guard shift last night, no trace of him has been found anywhere."

"He's gone to Orochimaru," Naruto muttered, "He mentioned the snake's goons had been slithering around…looks like they got to him."

Tsunade frowned, deciding to have words with the blonde genin later before turning to Shikamaru "As his classmate and the only chunin not currently on missions, I'm appointing you leader of the team to retrieve Sasuke and bring him back."

"If that's the case," Shikamaru replied, looking unusually serious in his jounin vest "Then I request a cell composed of solely Jounin and chunin."

"…I'm, afraid I cannot grant that request." Tsunade replied "The reason being most of our Jounin and Chunin ranked Shinobi are either away on missions or guarding our borders, even the ANBU ranks are stretched thin." She nodded at the man "So in the next hour, gather as many qualified genin and potential chunin as possible and prepare to depart." She smirked eyeing Naruto coyly "I'm sure I can recommend someone for the mission."

"Don't even need to ask," Naruto replied, gripping his katana's sheath tightly "That idiot cost me a date and free lunch, I'm taking it outta his hide."

"Mendokuse…" Shikamaru muttered, scratching his neck "Alright, then lets get the others…"

--

"Yosh." Shikamaru muttered, standing at the ready with his team flanking him, composed of Chouji, Kiba and Neji, Naruto standing alongside them "Time's up, let's get this ball rolling."

"Any ideas?" Kiba asked, eyeing the lazy genin with a confident, slightly mocking smirk "No offense but can you even handle this?"

"Seeing as he was the only one out us to make chunin I think he should be." Naruto reminded the Inuzuka "And besides, who was it that didn't even make it to the finals?"

"Chouji didn't either!" Kiba snapped, only to trail off mumbling in defeat when Neji shot him the patented Hyuuga 'Shut up or I'll jyuuken your ass' look.

"As the pursuers we're at a disadvantage," Shikamaru relayed, "The enemy can anticipate our moves, so we need a formation that can instantly react to assault." He shot Kiba a look "If you ignore me and try to fly solo, we ALL die."

Satisfied that the rowdy shinobi was chastised he continued "Kiba, you and Akamaru will take point. You two spent the last year wandering the land of fire, so if anyone knows the terrain it's you. Your sense of smell should let you track Sasuke for miles, as well as picking up on enemy scents. Since the point man is most open to attack, your partnering with Akamaru makes you doubly effective."

"I'll go next," the Nara continued, "That way I can direct Kiba from behind while passing back order to the rest of the platoon via hand signs." He nodded to Naruto, "You're at the center. Out of all of us you have the best initiative and your sense of hearing should let you pick up whatever happens in a wide area. Also, your speed and kage bunshin would enable you to back up both the rear and front as need be."

"Chouji's next," he instructed, "You're slow but have the highest striking power out of all of us. While Kiba Naruto and I launch a surprise attack, you wade right in and lay the smack down on anyone that gets in the way. Basically your our striker." He nodded to the reserved Hyuuga "That leaves Neji to bring up the rear, it's a tough job but with your Byakugan you can ensure no-one tries to blind-side us."

He pulled out a piece of paper and began making sketches "Here," he ordered, "Memorize your target areas, if you see anything at all in these spots let the rest of the platoon know." He frowned "Also, while we're at it, take inventory to see how we're set for tools."

'Impressive!' Lee noted, 'Making such a simple, effective formation and seizing command so quickly.' He chuckled 'Shikamaru-kun seems to be settling into the role of Chunin rather well, I wish I wasn't still recovering.'

--

"Alright, lets head out." Shikamaru ordered, the group of five nodding their confirmation and moving to leave, only to be stopped by a voice, turning to face Sakura, Hinata and Ino behind them. "I already know what you're going to say," Shikamaru began and shook his head "I can't take you on this mission, you've only just begun training as medics and can't be risked on the front lines at the moment."

"We know that." Ino shot back, before looking down "It's just…we wanted to see you off." She looked at her teammates concernedly "Take care alright."

"What are you saying Ino?" Chouji chuckled. Looking at his crush with a smile on his face "That isn't like you…acting all meek."

"B-BAKA!" Ino swore, turning away quickly and fighting down the blush spreading across her cheeks "JUST MAKE SURE YOU COME BACK, GOT IT?!"

"OSSU!" Chouji saluted, a smirk on his face all the while as he chuckled gently "That's the Ino we know, had me worried there."

"Mendokuse." Shikamaru muttered, a simillar grin on his face "a genin bossing a chunin around…only you Ino, only you."

Neji scoffed, only to blink as Hinata stepped up to him, eyeing his cousin as she twiddled her fingers, not looking him in the eye. "…I'll come back." He promised, noting the tension in her shoulder lighten as she smiled up at him, before turning to Naruto.

"Relax Hina-chan." Naruto assured her, not noticing the protective glare Neji shot at the back of his head "I'll be back before the mayo on those sandwiches begins to sour, promise!"

Hinata giggled at her crush's confidence, only to smile and nod her head, wishing him luck as she and Ino stepped back, leaving only Sakura.

The pink haired girl looked terrible, so torn between desperation and helplessness she couldn't even speak. She blinked as Naruto set a hand on her shoulder, looking up into calm blue eyes, ringed with red. "We'll bring him back," the jinchuuriki promised, "Even if it takes forever, we'll drag Sasuke back here whether he likes it or not."

Sakura's eyes widened, before lowering her gaze gratefully, Lee supporting her with a concerned look on his face. "Arigatou…" the girl wept, honest thanks in her voice as she did "Arigatou…"

"Alright enough with the waterworks." Shikamaru grumbled after Lee had lead the girls away "Sasuke isn't gonna rescue himself and we've lost time as it is."

And with that, the Sasuke retrieval team set off, unaware of the fate that lay in store for them.

'I'm coming for you Sasuke.' Naruto promised, marching alongside the others as he did so 'I'm not losing any more friends to that snake!'

--

"We've just cleared Konoha's border, Sasuke-sama." Ukon noted as they took a break in a small clearing "This should be far enough."

"Enough?" Sasuke repeated, eyeing the other three with a hint of suspicion as they took up positions all around him, like a trapped beast "Enough for what?"

"Just a task Orochimaru-sama gave us," Ukon assured the suspicious Uchiha calmly, his face calm "Something vital to your growth."

"And that is?" Sasuke asked, ready to fend off another assault if it came, tensing as Ukon's face settled in a smirk.

"You must experience death."

--

Holy shit balls, is Sasuke gonna die?!

Hao: Not necessarily, near death experiences have drastic affects on one's growth, often awkening hidden potential.

Kyugan: Really, so I supoose spending a few minutes in hell does the same?

Hao: Well yes, but it's not for the faint hearted.

Lu: Damn right, I should start charging admission.

R&R or be charged per view!

* * *


	45. Chapter 45

And so the sasuke retreival ark kicks off...sorry to burst you bubble but the hokage team won;t be getting in on the action.

The reason being, this ark was all about character development for otherwise minor characters.

Kaoru: You're just lazy.

Kyugan: No cookie for you.

Kaoru: WAH!!

* * *

Larger than life; Jiroubou of the North gate!

"Experience…death?" Sasuke repeated, trying not to let his agitation show to the others as Ukon shifted through his pockets, pulling out a small glass jar of pellets.

"Seishingan," the freakish guardian of the west gate explained, holding the jar up before him "You need to swallow one of these."

"Your Tenfuuin is still in it's first stage," Tayuya supplied helpfully, her arms crossed "those pellets forcibly activate it, evolving it to the second stage."

"But the minute that happens you body will begin to deteriorate." Ukon warned, looking rim, "if left unchecked you'd die in no time." He smirked "So, in order to control the power of the second state, you body needs time to adjust to it." he stepped forwards "Once you achieve the next state, you will most certainly receive powers equal to our own…" he frowned "But within moments of achieving that power…you will most certainly die."

Sasuke was silent for a moment, before eyeing the man before him "So…what happens after I'm dead?" he asked suspiciously.

"No need for concern." Ukon assured him, placing the jar in his hand "Using barrier ninjutsu, the four of us will suppress the side-effects, placing you in a coma-like state until your body adapts."

Sasuke stared at the jar before eying the quartet warily "And this barrier ninjutsu of yours…how reliable is it?" he asked, not liking the idea of hopping off the mortal coil so soon.

"Sasuke-sama," Kidoumaru boasted "The four of us are Orochimaru-sama's elite bodyguard, our greatest strength is our mastery of all manner of ninjutsu, be it barrier, sealing or even the Tenfuuin."

Sasuke was silent again, before undoing the top and letting a single pill fall in his hand. "Alright," he stated, looking Ukon in the eyes "My life's in your hands now…don't screw up." And with that he swallowed the pill.

The second he did his whole body seemed to fill with fire, barely contained by his skin. His lungs contracted and his throat tightened, almost collapsing to the floor as he gasped for breath. Ukon unrolled the massive scroll on his back, summoning a massive barrel, which Jiroubou set the stricken Uchiha into gently. All four then took up positions as black smoke filled the air, above them, moving it with heir hands into the barrel.

"**SHIKOKUMUJIN!"**

The mist solidified into a black lid, Ukon biting his thumb and writing on some blank seals, hurling them at the lid and clapping his hands together "Fukoku Hoin!" he chanted, the seals latching onto the lid and sealing it shut.

"Right." The apparent leader of the group noted exhaustedly "first step's done…Jiroubou, pick it up and let's get out of here before a leaf patrol finds us."

--

Tokiya leant against a tree trunk, looking at his teammates for this mission calmly. Shizune had asked for a little additional backup and Kukai was busy at the police headquarters with the rest of Ku, so he'd been sent along to bolster the ranks. Haku had been drafted beforehand so it wasn't too bad, and Genma, Raido and Iwashi were all professionals.

Didn't stop them from complaining about the length of the mission however, even Tokiya was a little bushed.

He flinched, sensing the four presences at the same time as Genma and Raido, nodding to Haku, who slipped off with them to balance the ranks.

They waited ten minutes…then ten more, finally, the Hyomon-ken masters patience wore thin and he stood up, following Shizune's lead along the marked path the trio had left behind, only to gape at the scene before them.

Haku looked up from her position next to Raido, frost and chakra lining his body as she tried to staunch the bleeding. Shizune leapt to Genma's aid, grateful that a secondary medic had been with them as she took care of the rest of their ailments.

"How many?" Tokiya asked, looking at Zabuza's onetime apprentice concernedly, hiding his concern for her own well being with the assurance that she was a former hunter nin.

"Four." Haku replied tiredly, more from Chakra drain than any physical wound "Genma said they were headed from Konoha…they match the descriptions of the four that assisted Orochimaru in the death of Sandaime-sama."

"We should head after them!" Iwashi insisted fervently, rage burning in his eyes at this latest insurrection, only to blink as Tokiya placed a hand on his shoulder.

"We can't," the Hyomon-ken master stated flatly "all of us are low on chakra and have already completed a mission." He nodded to their wounded comrades. "Genma and Raido need proper medical attention, and if we split up Shizune and Haku would be left to guard and escort them back alone." He frowned "I don't like it any more than you do, but our comrades lives come first."

Iwashi look chastened but complied, lifting Raido under his arm and helping him towards the village gate with Haku's help as Shizune and Tokiya supported Genma.

--

"They bumped into two new scents at the blood-zone," Kiba growled, "But now the original five have left, and four others have entered the area."

"So he has accomplices." Shikamaru noted with a frown "And from the sound of things they ran into one of our patrol teams…not good."

"If we break of to investigate, Sasuke will have crossed the border." Neji pointed out, keeping an eye out for traps as he leapt through the trees.

"No choice then," Shikamaru sighed "We'll continue on our mission, but since they've already encountered resistance they'll be on guard and expecting a tracking team." He frowned "Chances are they've laid traps and are lying in wait so keep your guard up, and if you see or sense anything off let the group know!"

"Hold up!" Kiba ordered, balking and pulling up short as his nose detected the scent of their targets "This place reeks of the enemy!"

"Mataku…" Shikamaru muttered in annoyance, "Either these bastards are good or they need time to catch their breath." He eyed the surroundings "Most likely the latter, considering how elaborate this trap is for someone in a hurry."

Neji nodded and activated his Byakugan, noting the state of their targets with a frown "You're right, they look like they're taking a break." He noted, "Looks like the patrol gave them hell."

"Hope they saved room for seconds." Naruto growled, gripping his sheath as he smirked, eyeing glinting dangerously.

--

Kidoumaru flinched suddenly, the threads he'd set up around camp alerting him to the presence of several tails they'd picked up. Ukon frowned, noting the gesture and hurling an exploding kunai into the bushes, two Konoha genin leaping out, one of them a Hyuuga.

"H-Hold it!" the one in the chunin vest called out, holding out his hands placatingly "We aren't here to fight, we're here to negotiate!"

"Oh really?" Kidoumaru asked, yanking on the threads and pulling the rest of the team out of hiding "What do you call this then?"

"Added incentive bitch!" Kiba shot back, hurling a smoke bomb at the quartet.

Kidoumaru merely chuckled. "Muda-da," he called out, "Thinner than silk, stronger than wire, my threads are scattered all over this clearing, there's no escape from me."

"Good thing we weren't planning an escape." Shikamaru shot back, the quartet flinching as they realized they couldn't move "Oh, and thanks for letting us know…we'll keep an eye out for your little traps in future."

"Yare-yare." Ukon sighed, looking bored of all things "You make it sound like there'll BE a next time."

Naruto swore and leapt in front of Shikamaru, deflecting the shuriken aimed for the chunin with the sheath of his sword. He spun round, only to gape as several explosive Kunai landed at their feet. Shikamaru broke the jutsu and the group leapt back as one, only to gape as the tags fizzled out. 'DUDS!' the chunin realized, swearing as the earth beneath them cracked, Jiroubou eyeing them hungrily.

"Amateurs." Ukon muttered scornfully, looking over at his larger teammate with a smirk, as the Giant finished forming the dome of earth "Itatakimasu, Jiroubou, finish up quick and catch up, we're going on ahead."

Jiroubou smirked and nodded, Kidoumaru picking up the coffin/barrel with Sasuke in it and sprinting off after the rest of the team.

--

"No doubt about it." Neji muttered, looking at the walls and his own hands with his Byakugan activated briefly "He's siphoning off our Chakra the longer we're in here…at my estimation it won't take ten minutes before he drains us all."

"Not good." Shikamaru grimaced, blinking as he realized Naruto didn't seem to be suffering 'Right…Kyuubi and all…infinite chakra reserves.'

"Say…Neji." The Hanyou muttered tapping the wall and snarling as he felt it suck out his chakra on contact "Would you say this thing devours chakra automatically…or depending on position?"

Neji blinked, before realizing what the blonde meant "The area of regeneration is thicker to the rear, where the jutsu is being maintained." He replied "It stands to reason that the enemy is there, as the chakra drain and levels are weaker to the fore."

"So if we go by what you're saying." Naruto muttered, stepping towards the rear, as indicated "If we stand here he'll drain us faster…right?" he smirked "So if I were to, say release a large burst of chakra…he'd focus on it right?"

Shikamaru blinked as he ran the idea through his head, and then nodded "I get it; Chouji, get ready to bust us out the second Naruto does what he has to." He nodded to Neji and Kiba "Get ready to bail out the second the exit opens…and that goes for you too Naruto!"

"Who do ya think you're talking to?" the Hanyou scoffed, and then slapped both palms against the wall and pumped enough chakra for ten rasengans into them "HOOOH!"

--

Jiroubou's eyes widened as he felt the chakra spike right on the other side of the wall. Normally he'd have been smirking greedily but the sheer potency of the chakra was searing his chakra coils as he tried to absorb it, which in turn was burning up his own chakra to heal the damage. It was like trying to dam an ocean of fire with a paper funnel, he couldn't cancel the jutsu without letting them out, but if he did then he'd not only be suffering from damaged chakra coils he'd still be low on chakra, the piffling amount he'd scrounged not being NEAR enough to make him ready.

As it were, he was so distracted between gluttony and desperation he was caught of guard as Chouji's Nikudan Sensha smashed down the opposite wall of his prison, allowing the prisoners, and the owner of the tantalizingly potent chakra, to escape, the earth prison collapsing in their wake.

'Damn little brats…' he hissed, clenching his scorched palms tenderly as he fought the urge to activate the cursed seal. If the others learned he'd had to go to level 2 for these weaklings he'd never hear the end of it. "So you broke free…" he called out, smirking at them hungrily "Not bad for a pack of brats."

"Holy shit! It's an eclipse!" Naruto stammered in mock shock, eyeing the balding Otonin with a grimace "Oh, never mind. Damn Chouji, if anyone ever calls you fat again, just remember this guy and laugh."

"Seriously what the hell?" Kiba scoffed, eyeing the man in disgust "I mean sure, Chouji's jutsu use up an ass load of calories and carbs, but what's this guy's excuse?"

Jiroubou twitched and slapped his palms together "You got a smart pair of mouths on you brats." He growled, before slapping a palm on the ground "How about I shut 'em for ya?!"

--

The group took cover as the explosion rocked the clearing, looking through the dust to see Jiroubou had gone. 'How can something so FAT move so fast?' Kiba wondered, only to shiver as the scent of sweat, earth and chakra appeared behind, the group spinning round as one, only to gape at the sight before them.

"DOTON: DORYO DANGO!" Jiroubou called out, holding a gargantuan boulder at least half the size of Gamabunta over his head.

"YOU HAVE GOTTA BE SHITTING ME!" Naruto swore, eyes bugging out as he made for the hills, Kiba actually managing to keep up with him by running on all fours, even Neji looked terrified as Jiroubou hurled the ball at them, only for Chouji to transform again and reduce it to pebbles and boulders, which thankfully fell clear of them all. The Akimichi continued on his path like the juggernaut he was, slamming into Jiroubou, only for the Otonin's impressive strength to stop the rotation.

"SHO SHITSU!" Jiroubou called out, striking the Akimichi in the face with his knee, before shoulder rushing him "TOKKEN!"

The force of the blow knocked Chouji out of the transformation, sending him careening along the floor, only for Shikamaru to catch him. "Hold it!" the chunin yelled out "We're wasting time, we should split up," he nodded "Neji, you take command of the second group, take Chouji and Kiba and track Sasuke." He frowned "Naruto and I are enough for this bastard."

"Kageshibari again?" Jiroubou called out mockingly "Talk about a one-trick pony, and to think they made an idiot like you squad leader." He scoffed "You really think splitting up makes a difference? It's fitting that trash like you follow fool's lead."

"Shut your pie-hole lard-ass." Naruto growled, earning a glare from Jiroubou that he matched "Or I'll help you lose a few pounds…starting with your damn head!"

"HE'S MINE!" Chouji snapped out, startling everyone with the agitation in his normally laid-back voice, holding out some pills to a stunned Shikamaru. "Give these to everyone to boost your chakra." The Akimichi offered, smiling at his friend "Relax…I still got THOSE after all."

"B-but Chouji!" Shikamaru exclaimed, only to flinch as the Akimichi turned his back on him, Naruto asking if he was sure he could handle it.

"If we back down now, what was the point of this mission?!" Chouji shot back "If we let Sasuke go we'll be just what he called us: Trash that follows a fool's lead."

Shikamaru grit his teeth and shut his eyes, saying a silent prayer to whoever the hell was listening before holding out the pellets. "Eat up guys…this is Chouji's gift, so make 'em count." He waited until everyone was ready before looking at his friend "Chouji…don't go beyond the green pill…and make sure you catch up to us after."

"Sure." Chouji promised, his game face set as he stared down his opponent, only to blink as Naruto patted him on the back.

"Win this and I'll buy you all the yakiniku you can eat when we get back." The blonde promised with a smirk, before dashing off after the others.

"You think I'd let them get away?!" Jiroubou cackled as he charged Chouji "I'll make short work of you…then go finish them off for desert!"

"Like hell you will!" Chouji grit out, popping the green spinach pill between his teeth and chomping down. The effect was almost instantaneous, the Akimichi stopping Jiroubou dead in his tracks, the larger sound nin gaping at him in alarm.

"B-Bakana..." The balding teen grit out as he strained against his smaller foe "How could this brat-?!"

--

Chouji growled as he pressed forwards, Jiroubou's feet leaving tracks in the dirt, before gripping the larger teen's rope-belt and hoisting him in the air. Rather than throwing him right off the bat, the Akimichi supplexed his opponent, slamming his head into the earth, before slipping out from under and grabbing the rope, scraping the stunned Otonin's skull against the ground before hurling him across the clearing, tearing up the earth and knocking over a tree in the process, before flinching.

'Crap…the spinach pill's kicking in…' he swore, fighting the worst of the pain 'Hurts like a crap and a half…' he growled, puling out several Kunai and shuriken on wire and wrapping them around him as Jiroubou got dazedly to his feet 'But I'm not giving up yet!'

Activating the baika no jutsu the Akimichi barreled towards the Otonin like something out if an Indiana Jones flick, the spikes providing both traction and additional stopping power to the jutsu. Jiroubou saw it coming and raised a earth wall to defend himself, only to gape as Chouji smashed right through it, the spikes carving the stone to pieces even as they dug into the Otonin's flesh, before coming to a stop.

'What the-?!' Chouji muttered, only to gape as Jiroubou raised his head, revealing the snaking, triangular tattoos that were spreading across his body.

"Don't push your luck…TRASH!" the Otonin growled, before ramming his palm into the Akimichi and sending him flying back. "Heh," Jiroubou snorted, eyeing the gasping Akimichi with a sneer on his face "You know, bring any group of people together and there'll always be a reject among them…the guy they keep around for a laugh, or as a meat shield if things get tough. A pawn among the ranks of knights." He smirked "That's you through and through."

Chouji gasped for breath, raising himself up with clenched teeth, even as he thought back to all the ridicule he'd suffered over the years, even after becoming a member of team 10.

"Oh I'm sorry," Jiroubou called out, sarcasm in every line and crease of his fat face "Did I touch a nerve? Man Konoha must be desperate, sending trash like this after us."

Chouji flinched, glaring murderously at his opponent as he pulled out the sanshogan case, popping the yellow curry pill between his teeth and biting down. "You don't say?" he ground out, even as Chakra flared around him violently "If that's the case…then what the hell does that make you?" he smirked as Jiroubou scowled at him, beckoning the balding teen forwards "Let's dance fat-ass!"

"Who're YOU calling Fat-ass?!" Jiroubou roared, lunging at the teen with his arms reared back for a grapple, only for Chouji's enlarged right arm to descend from above and smash him into the ground like a fly swatter.

Not letting up, Chouji leapt in the air and activated his expansion jutsu, a high-speed Nikudan Sensha crashing into Jiroubou's back like a ten-ton basketball from hell, cracking the earth as it drove the balding teen deeper with each landing. "Still think we're trash do ya?!" the Akimichi snapped, changing back and punching out with his expanded left arm, grabbing Jiroubou's face and pulling him into the air with him, only for the matching right to smash into the teen's face, sending him crashing back to earth, landing on top and delivering a flurry of punches to his face.

'SUNNUVA!' Jiroubou swore, even as he swatted the boy into the air 'What the hell's that brat been eating!' He blinked as it suddenly got very dark, looking up in surprise to find the kanji for food descending from above like the wrath of heaven "AW SHI-!"

"CHOU BAIKA NO JUTSU!"

--

"Holy! What the hell was that?!" Kiba swore, leaping through the trees ahead of the pack, Akamaru perched on his head to save time.

"Sounds like Chouji decided to go large." Shikamaru noted wryly, already cursing himself for the bad pun as he leapt through the trees.

"I still think the guy bit off more than he could chew." Kiba shot back, looking worried despite himself "I mean sure he's strong, but other than that what's he got?"

"An appetite for trouble?" Neji opined, earning a few looks from his companions "What? Everyone can make a food joke but me now?"

"No…" Naruto began uncertainly, sweat dropping as a weak grin stretched across his face "Its just…we never took you for the type."

"Philistines." The Hyuuga growled, earning a round of chuckles from the group "In any case I think we're catching up on the others."

"Good." Shikamaru noted, leaving a trail marking for Chouji that only a leaf nin would look for, as well as a blatantly obvious trail marking, pointed in the opposite direction "then lets hope he wraps things up and joins us."

--

'Urp…note to self…' Chouji muttered as he lay on the ground trying not to retch, still in his super-size form 'Avoid belly-flopping after eating a sanshogan…NOT fun.'

He flinched as he realized he was moving, or rather his STOMACH was moving, something that shouldn't happen unless he willed it or happened to be running too fast. Tilting himself so he could peer under, his eyes widened as he caught sight of the cause of his dilemma, all 500 pissed off pounds of it.

"To think trash like you could drive me into the 2nd stage…" Jiroubou's voice growled, Golden irises glinting in the shadows provided by Chouji's bulk as he held the massive stomach off with his right hand alone "Fucking disgraceful."

Chouji didn't even have time to blink before the other palm came up, sending his entire body into the air, shrinking back to normal from the blunt force alone. As he lay there he gaped at the monstrosity before him. Jiroubou's skin had darkened to a dull, rusty red; his Mohawk had grown into a mane of orange hair that trailed to his shoulders. Small ridges that were either warts or some other growth bulged on the ends of his shoulder and his forehead, giving the appearance of an oni.

"You're finished," the oto-nin prophesized as he straightened up "In this form my power's ten times what it was…I'm invincible." He snorted "There're drawbacks of course…such as the chakra drain boosting to match the increase in strength." He smirked as he stood over the downed genin "And whadd'ya know…there's a snack lying right here."

He slammed his hand onto Chouji's throat he force driving the boy into the ground like a spike, choking and grimacing as the contents of his ninja gear spilled everywhere. The Akimichi flinched as the last remnants of his chakra were drained away, leaving only the bare minimum the body refused to surrender.

"Bah…barely even an appetizer." Jiroubou spat, standing over the teen as he noticed him reach for a packet of chips. Smirking he stamped on the boy's wrist, keeping his palm on his throat and grabbed the packet "What, one left?" he stammered, opening his mouth wide and chomping on the snack as it fell out "Ah well, as mama always said, waste not, want not." He smirked down at the boy "Y'see, trash, that's all you are…but don't be discouraged, I'll finish off those idiots for the main course…so you won't be waiting long." He dropped the packet on his face "So just die already…you worthless fat-ass."

--

_"I'm going to die."_ Chouji realized, gazing up at the sky with a blank expression on his face _"I couldn't stop him…he's just too strong..."_

_"You held him off this long didn't you?"_ a voice that sounded suspiciously like Kiba's pointed out _"So what if he's strong, keep fighting!"_

_"But I'll die."_ Chouji reasoned, gazing upwards into the mocking face of his enemy, only to blink as Neji's regal tones entered his thoughts with a scoff.

_"You only say that because you're scared of pain."_ The Hyuuga prodigy's voice chastised _"True strength means battling on despite anything."_

_"You're stronger than you think Chouji."_ Shikamaru's voice assured his friend, the large teen's determination rising with each word _"I wouldn't have trusted you with this if I didn't think you could do it."_

_"You really gonna let him get away with dissing us?"_ Naruto's voice asked, and Chouji could feel that infectious smirk glinting at him from just behind his eyeballs _"C'mon big guy, let's dish out some pain!"_

"Dish out…" Chouji muttered, an idea forming in his mind as he eyed the red pepper pill in it's case 'It's risky…in my state I'd die the second I ate it…' he glared at his opponent as Jiroubou raised his arm above his head 'NO…I won't die…I gave them my word!'

And with that he popped open the pepper pill, raising it to his mouth chomping down, eyes widening as the burning pain in his stomach escalated, even as Jiroubou's palm descended towards him in slow motion.

--

"ASSHOU!" the Otonin roared, striking down at the boy that had cost him so much time and chakra, shattering the ground with the blow and leaving a crater several meters deep. 'Wait…' he muttered, eyeing the ground beneath him in trepidation 'Where's the brat?!'

He flinched as he sensed chakra behind him, turning to spy the Akimichi scion standing with his back to him, iridescent butterfly wings composed of pure chakra erupting from his back, before forming around the brat's right hand. "GAN GEKI!" Jiroubou roared, moving to smash the boy's skull in, only to blink as not only was his strike stopped, barehanded for that matter, but that the arm that stopped the blow was lean and muscled, in other words average for a shinobi youth.

"Muda-da…" Chouji stated, raising his head to reveal lean, handsome features, all the excess fat burned away to provide the chakra now coursing through his veins "I'm a hundred times stronger than before."

He struck with his right elbow, the force of the blow cracking Jiroubou's sternum and a number of ribs, sending the Otonin reeling backwards. He followed it up with a savage backhand blow to the face with the same arm, sending the older teen crashing backwards to lay five feet from the crater he'd formed.

'Impossible!' Jiroubou choked, trying to move but the screeching pain in his chest kept him from even breathing properly 'I drained him dry! How can he produce enough chakra to change his appearance!?'

"What's the matter Porker?" Chouji called out, standing over his stricken opponent with a cold look in his normally laid-back eyes, "Heartburn? That dish too hot for you?" He reached down with his right hand and grabbed the front of the Otonin's shirt, raising him off the ground slightly as he glared into his face "Get used to it…cause that chip you scarfed, was your last meal."

He glared in the stricken Otonin's face, wondering how on earth he'd been afraid of such a pathetic creature before frowning "They say Buddha can forgive you three times." He muttered, recalling Naruto's declaration with Neji "Well, first you call me trash…I can live with that. Then you scarfed down my last chip…nothing much I can do about that."

The glare intensified as the chakra around his left arm grew brighter "But you also talked shit about my best friend…" he leaned into Jiroubou's terrified features "And that…I will NOT tolerate."

"M-MATTE!" Jiroubou pleaded desperately "L-LET"S TALK ABOUT THI-!"

The giant member of the sound four's plea fell on deaf ears as Chouji rammed the full force of his chakra re-enforced fist into the teen's chest, shattering the ribcage, pulping the organs within and punching through to the other side. The crater formed by the blow was at least twenty times bigger in terms of depth and diameter compared to the one the Otonin had created, easy to tell from above but hardly something the combatants paid any mind to.

--

Chouji watched as the Otonin's corpse returned to normal, the mane of hair withering away and rusty skin returning to normal as the triangle tattoo's receded to the curse mark. Staggering away from the foe he'd effectively Falcon Punched to death, the Akimichi made his way towards the general direction he'd seen the others head off in, holding his headband in one hand and his stomach in the other, the burning sensation still eating away at his body.

He blinked, noticing something on a tree and felt tears grow in his eyes, lowering his head as he placed his hand on the trail marking Shikamaru had left for him, carved in the bark in a way only Leaf shinobi would think to look for.

'Dad…' he muttered, thinking back to the days he'd sit with his father on the rooftops, alone and unwanted by his peers 'I've made lots of friends…' he staggered against the tree as his stomach spasmed, sliding down the trunk, the smile on his face all the while 'I'll just rest up a bit…' he thought drowsily, vision darkening as he spoke 'before I…meet up with them…'

A butterfly took wing as the Akimichi's headband hit the floor, flying past the team chasing the remaining sound four, causing Shikamaru to freeze, watching it fly past ominously. _'_Chouji…' the recently promoted chunin breathed, following the path of the ominously glowing butterfly only to snap to attention as Kiba detected the bastards' scent up ahead 'Hang on buddy…we'll come back for you…I promise!_'_

--

Y'see, and you people wanted Domon to fight Jiroubou.

Kaoru: Pfft, you just did that for all the food jokes.

Kyugan: True, but it was funny right?

Kaoru: Like a barrel of greased drunken monkeys.

Kytugan: That said, here's Kyugan's encyclopedia japan-ica!

Muda-da: Useless, it's useless.

Baika no Jutsu: Expansion Jutsu.

Nikudan Sensha: Lit. Meat Tank, (human boulder).

Chou Baika no jutsu: Super Expansion Jutsu

Jiroubou's techniques: No clue what they translate to, but Jiroubou's fighting style is known as Rakkanken or 'Seeker of Nirvana' Fist, look it up on Japan-wiki.

R&R!

* * *


	46. Chapter 46

For those of you who feel disgruntled at my sticking to closely to cannon, my apologies.

These were the others' chances to shine, so I didn't feel like taking ithem away, otherwise I'd've had Mikagami kill off at least one of the four when he encountered their trail.

Kakashi: You're just lazy (Gags as a garrotte is wrapped around his throat, courtesy of Luca Brassi)

Kyugan: I prefer mangled to dead, Luca, and give my regards to the Godfather.

Luca: I will do that, Don Corleone is glad to do grant favor for you.

Seriously, did Luca talk like that? All 'broken english'?

* * *

A tangled web; East gate's Kidoumaru!

Naruto noticed the tension in the Nara's frame and thought better than to question him at the moment. He could understand the gist what the Nara was going through just by looking at him, but that didn't mean he was psychic. No, better not to distract the genius with concerns, even if they were well-founded ones about a comrade.

" It's strange," Neji noted, Byakugan scouting the area around them "They haven't laid a single trap since then…what do you think Shikamaru."

"They underestimated us." Shikamaru muttered, a scowl on his face as he glared straight ahead "They think Tubby's the only one that'll be catching up to them…no-one sane lays traps for their allies."

"A mistake that's gonna cost them," Naruto replied with a smirk, catching the Nara's attention "You know what that means…right?"

"We strike." The Nara replied grimly, "They won't be expecting us, overconfident as they are, but we need to go about this carefully."

"Hey," Naruto scoffed, grinning at the Nara coyly "Just who the hell do you think you're talking to Shika-chan?"

--

"That idiot's late…as usual." Ukon muttered sourly, looking over his shoulder in disgust, only to glare as Kidoumaru chuckled.

"There he is." The arachnid smirked, eyeing the corpulent form of their large teammate as he leapt towards them hurriedly, like a living boulder.

"What took you so long?" Ukon demanded, looking more than a little annoyed, and rightly so, they were still in Konoha territory after all "Don't tell me those losers actually delayed you?"

"Got a little carried away at the buffet." Jiroubou replied, wiping his fat lip with the back of his hand "Brats had a lotta chakra to spare."

"Fucking fat-ass!" Tayuya swore, glaring at the larger teen in annoyance "Quit assing around and carry the fucking casket you slow ass piece of shit!"

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Jiroubou shot back, Tayuya blinking at the unusual reply as Ukon and Jiroubou regarded him warily.

"Jiroubou…you okay man?" the arachnid asked eyeing the porker warily. It wasn't that Jiroubou didn't reprimand Tayuya; it was just that he'd never been so crass about it.

"Indigestion." Jiroubou grumbled, holding his stomach with a grimace "That stringy mutt of theirs was a little too hard to swallow."

"Really?" Kidoumaru muttered, before smirking at the lard-bucket genially "Alright then, what say we hit the bar after we head back?"

"Sounds good." Jiroubou replied, only to blink as Kidoumaru smirked at him predatorily, like a spider that had caught a rather juicy fly.

"Really? I thought you hated drink?" he spun round, hurling the casket at Tayuya and he rounded on the porker "But then you didn't know that, did you FAKER?!"

"No I didn't." 'Jiroubou' replied with a smirk, disappearing in a plume of smoke as six Naruto's descended from above, their katanas drawn, ready to strike the startled East gate. Kidoumaru reciprocated by leaping downward, gobbing a golden mass of thread into his hands and tossing it forward.

"Ninpou: Kumo Sokai!" the arachnid called out, grinning as the army of clones were caught in his web. Only to blink as two fanged tornadoes launched themselves at his unprotected back. Using more threads he hung in the air, flipping out of reach like a mutant trapeze artist.

"Damn that useless fat-ass!" Tayuya snarled, leaping through the trees with Sasuke's casket held before her.

"I knew it was a mistake to leave the weakest of the four behind." Ukon stated "Still, Kidoumaru should be more than enough for them."

--

Kidoumaru grinned down at the fuming Inuzuka as the mutt snarled up at him. "Ah quit your bitching brat." He shot back mockingly "I already leashed you, so be a good little puppy and play dead." He blinked, looking past the Inuzuka's furious glare to spot the feral grin on his face, releasing four threads and dropping just as Neji sailed past, palm glowing with a deadly chakra strike, catching sight of Shikamaru off to the side.

"Not bad." the arachnid muttered, spitting a web at the chunin and binding him to a tree, before spewing out more thread and hurling it at the Hyuuga in mid-air, effectively cocooning him and suspending it in the air. "My threads are strong enough to suspend two elephants." He boasted, smirking down at the trapped Naruto clones as they tried to cut their way out "Hmmph, Kage Bunshin?" he noted, "This should be fun…Ninpou: Kumo Nenkin!"

'Different color threads than before?' Shikamaru noted, watching as the Otonin snapped the hardened threads off with his teeth 'What's that bastard planning?'

Whatever it was, the Nara noted in discomfort, it DEFINTIELY couldn't be good, considering the way the freak was eyeing the helpless Naruto army. He flinched as he realized that thread was hardening, forming curved, wicked looking spiked weapons that reminded him, vaguely, of a spider's feet.

"Alright," Kidoumaru smirked, aiming at the net with his weapon "Since you were so gung ho and charged me first…let's play a little game." He smirked "I call it, Kumo roulette!" he eyed the six blondes cheerfully "One of you brats is obviously the real deal," the smirk widened "Lets see who's luck's greater…mine…or yours!"

"Dunno about that." The outermost Naruto called out snidely "We're pretty lucky you know…just ask the pachinko place at Tanzaku-gai."

"A volunteer!" Kidoumaru noted with a sick smirk, hurling a barb at the blonde and snorting dismissively as it turned out to be a clone "Ah well…let's try again!"

Another clone erupted in smoke, the Otonin smirking sadistically as he hefted two barbs at the same time "Double or nothing!" he called out, "Either way it's fifty-fifty!"

Another two clones erupted, the last two smirking up at the Otonin brashly, one even giving him the finger. "Man your aim sucks." It bragged, "But then what'd we expect from a gaming otaku?"

"Wise guy huh?" Kidoumaru smirked, hurling a barb right into the blonde's face, cursing as it turned out to be a clone after all "Damn…you really are lucky kid…no-ones made it to the last round before."

"SO I guess I win a mystery prize huh?" the last Naruto shot back, smirking at the arachnid "Lemme guess, a trip to the daimyo's palace? All you can eat at Ichiraku ramen? That casket you have Sasuke in?"

"Close, but no cigar." Kidoumaru snorted, twirling the last bar, "It is a trip, but I'm afraid its one way…" he grinned as he hurled the barb at the guy "See ya in hell brat!"

The barb stabbed into Naruto's side, the blonde's blood spilling all over the floor. Kidoumaru smirked at the figure, only to blink as it grinned, giving him the finger, before poofing out of existence, revealing a tin of paint. 'What the-?!' the arachnid swore, only to swear as the sound of a Katana slicing through the air behind him caused him to spin round.

"HITEN MITSURUGI RYU:" Naruto called out, drawing his sword at point blank range to Kidoumaru "RYUKANSEN!"

Kidoumaru cursed and ducked under the strike, part of his ponytail cut off even as he leapt to a lower branch, wrapping webbing around the brat's sword and hand. 'I see,' he muttered, 'Buying time with clones while he took the rear.' He smirked "Not bad for a brat, but it'll take more than that to take me down."

"Who said I was trying to kill you?" Naruto shot back with a smirk, gripping the katana and keeping it from being pulled out of his grip "I was just buying time."

"For what?" Kidoumaru sneered, only to blink as the thread connecting the two severed, looking up to find the other captives were not only escape, but looking down on him coldly "HOW THE HELL?!"

"Anything composed of chakra can be easily destroyed by injecting chakra into them." Neji stated, his back to the Otonin "Faced with my Jyuken…your jutsu are useless."

He turned his head to regard the Otonin, Byakugan active and glaring down at him, a glaring contest between hawk and spider. "The rest of you go," he commanded the others "I will handle this one."

--

"You sure about this man?" Kiba asked, patting his partner comfortingly "Akamaru says this guy smells a lot stronger than the fatso we left Chouji with…" he bristled at the arachnid "a LOT stronger."

"We agreed to take them on one-on-on if necessary." The Hyuuga genius replied calmly, not taking his eyes off Kidoumaru "Otherwise it could get problematic later on." He nodded "Also…if we delay to long with him…we won't be able to catch up to Sasuke."

The group fell silent, unwilling to leave another teammate behind, Naruto's face particularly grim as he looked at the ground below. "Naruto." Neji spoke out, closing his eyes and looking away from the Hanyou "Your sight is superior to mine."

Naruto blinked, wondering what the hell the Hyuuga was on about, even as Neji elaborated. "Sasuke is lost in darkness." The Hyuuga stated cryptically, turning his back on the team to face his foe "Go now, I shall catch up with you later."

Naruto eyed the Hyuuga for a while, before glaring at the back of his head. "Remember what you promised Hinata." He reminded the older genin with a smirk "If you make her cry again I'll drag you back from the dead and beat the shit out of you all over again."

Neji scoffed, before looking forward, face the Hyuuga mask of neutrality as the others leapt off after they target and his accomplices.

--

"You ain't getting away!" Kidoumaru vowed, hurling a net of chakra at the retreating backs of the leaf team, only to curse as the white-eyed genin severed them before they came anywhere near them 'That guy's pretty good,' he noted smirking as his foe stood before him "So I take it you're the strongest of your peers?" he asked, shivering at the stoic look on the younger teen's face "Man, haven't gotten this excited in a while, gonna be fun playing with you." He smirked "Take the game nice and slow at first, wouldn't be any fun if we rushed it." the smirk deepened "Lets see if you can last three minutes!"

Neji's Byakugan caught the telltale swelling of chakra in the man's mouth, his cheeks swelling outwards, giving the Hyuuga enough time to predict the following salvo of webs that were launched at him, he weaved under and around several, using Jyuken to slice through others only to grimace as several managed to clip him. 'Too many!' he exclaimed, eyes widening as one collided with him fully, binding him to the trunk of a tree.

"You're pretty talented in the use of chakra," Kidoumaru noted "And your eyesight's pretty sharp, that precision of yours that lets you make such precise cuts…" he snorted "Orochimaru-sama warned me of this…so this is the infamous Hyuuga Jyuken Ryuu?" He scoffed, leaping through the trees towards the bound Hyuuga, "Still, with those meddling hands of your bound, there's no way for you to cut my webs!"

Had the arachnid noticed the Hyuuga's confident smirk he'd have probably been more careful, as it was, he continued forward until only a gap between trees separated them.

"Once you've figured out the strategy behind a game it's not so fun anymore," the otaku sneered, "You didn't even last a minute and already I'm bored of you." He reared back even as Neji shut his eyes, cheeks swelling as he summoned more golden thread, before spitting it out like a spear "SHINEE! KUMO NENKIN!!"

Neji's eyes snapped open, chakra surging from ever tenketsu on his body, shattering the net that bound him even as he ran along the spear until he was crouching before the stunned Otonin in a Jyuken stance. "I'll let you in on a little secret," the Hyuuga supplied calmly "It's not just my hand and fingertips…I can emit chakra from every point on my body." He smirked "Game over…Jyuukenhou: Hakke Rokujyuuyonshou!"

--

Kidoumaru swore and chomped down on his thread in a desperate bid to escape, only for Neji to swoop in close and jab his fingers into the older teen's chest.

"Nishou!"

The Hyuuga didn't let up, leaping after the stumbling arachnid and striking out continuously "Yonshou! Hachishou!"

He drove the teen against the trunk of the tree they were battling on, shifting up a gear and delivering a plethora of deadly strikes to his torso "Jyuurokushou! Sanjyuunishou!"

Cracks began forming on the back of the trunk as Neji continued his relentless assault on the Oto-nin.

"HAKKE: ROKUJYUUYONSHOU!"

Kidoumaru smashed through the hole in the trunk Neji standing on the other side in the finishing stance of the Hyuuga's most deadly attack. He leapt down, following the arachnids crash to the forest floor, only to blink at the sight before him.

'Golden skin!?' the Hyuuga exclaimed, only to flinch as the teen's 'face' fell off, revealing it to be nothing more than Kidoumaru's golden thread.

"That was close," the Arachnid admitted shakily "Too close for my liking…I'd heard that Jyuken targets the Keirakukei to disrupt the chakra flow."

"What a monster," Neji muttered allowed, gritting his teeth in disgust and annoyance at his opponent's tenacity "It isn't just your mouth is it?"

"My Kumonenkin's a metal that hardens on contact with air, and that prevents chakra from getting through." He smirked as his skin glistened "And you're right, I can emit it from not only y mouth, but my sweat glands too."

'Which means his tenketsu are well defended from my strikes.' Neji muttered, glaring at the arachnid with his byakugan 'A difficult foe indeed.'

--

'Kumoshibari won't work on him.' Kidoumaru noted grimly 'and his Jyuken makes getting up close and personal a no-no.' he eyed the youth 'Looks like my only option's to hit his blind spot at long range.'

He leapt into the trees, using a thread to drop a fake explosive kunai to distract the Hyuuga, even as he launched several barbed spears at him from behind. His eyes widened as the youth spun, creating a dome of chakra that not only repelled the barbs, but sent a few of them flying back where they'd come from.

'No freaking way!' the arachnid exclaimed 'Does he have eyes in the back of his head or something?! And that jutsu…he used CHAKRA to repel a physical attack?!' he cursed as he was forced to dodge a kunai "And he can SEE me too?! This far back?!' he ignored the youth's call and glared at him 'Looks like those eyes are good for more than just seeing chakra…I've never met anyone like this!'

He smirked, excitement coursing through his veins as he appeared from above the teen, suspended like a spider on his thread, the vine like tattoos of his Tenfuuin spreading across his body. "Alright, so I'll admit the game's a little more difficult than I thought." He grinned at the Hyuuga "From here on out I'm playing for keeps!"

--

'His chakra's surging around like crazy.' Neji noted, recognizing the marking as the same type he'd seen on Sasuke back in the forest. He cursed as the arachnid summoned the mother of all spiders above him, the eight legged monstrosity producing an egg sack that Kidoumaru sliced open, a rain of fully formed infant spiders descending from above.

"KAITEN!" the Hyuuga called out, deflecting the majority, only to find the threads were wrapping around him. He sent a last surge of chakra to deflect the barb his opponent had hurled at his back, only to stagger as he realized the trap he'd walked into.

'The Kaiten is useless against these webs' he noted, slicing the bonds and preparing for the next wave 'If that's the case, then I'll have to swat them down one at a time.'

He leapt up to avoid another salvo of barbs, channeling chakra to his palm and pushing of yet another, flipping to avoid them in mid-air. The second he landed he was forced to fend off more spiders, their threads keeping him from rotating even as more barbs attacked fro the rear, ducking forwards just in time to escape with a scrape on the shoulder.

--

"Shit," Tayuya swore, scowling over her shoulder in annoyance "Forget that fat-ass Jiroubou, what's that pencil-dick Kidoumaru doing?!"

"You know how he likes to toy with his prey." Ukon replied flatly, an amused smirk on his face "One of those brats must have caught his interest."

"Yeah but when that otaku gets excited he always rushes into the second state." Tayuya reminded her teammate, only for Ukon to chuckle.

"True," he admitted, a malignant sile crossing his face "But either way, the second he hits the second state…his opponent's time is up."

--

Neji grimaced, two spiked barbs in his back and several minor lacerations from near misses lining his body. His hair had fallen from its tie and framed his face, only his headband keeping the worst of it in check.

"What are you still getting up for?" Kidoumaru taunted from the woods, out of range of the Byakugan "This game's over, scrubs like you are fated to die of quickly!"

Neji bristled at the word 'fate' only to lash upwards as the giant spider descended from above, sending a surge of chakra into it, only to gape as it turned into webs, holding him in place as more barbs launched at him from all sides.

"I see…" Kidoumaru noted, the vine markings of his seal extending over his form, turning his skin a rusty red 'He dodged by a hairs breadth to protect his vitals, daggers fired from 50 yards away can't kill him.' He spat out a mass of golden metal that hardened into a bow, 'Well, he certainly gave me a run for my money…so here's a token of my appreciation!'

He stood on the branch, a red-skinned, three-eyed monstrosity of himself, ridges running up the back of his arms from the elbows and horns growing from his head, his ponytail a mass of grey.

"Accuracy: 100!" he announced, drawing back on the massive bow and arrow he'd formed "Destructive power: Maximum!" he launched the arrow, severing the thread that formed it "SHINEE!"

The arrow was launched with the destructive force of a cannon, dragging the branches with it in the wake of its passing as it hurtled towards it's target. The explosion as it made contact with the ground shook the woods, Kidoumaru gazing after it, only to gape in shock as Neji stood, a hole the size of a small soup can in his shoulder.

'What the hell?!' Kidoumaru swore, gritting his fangs in anger 'How'd I miss my mark by 15cm?!'

--

'No doubt about it…' Neji noted, wincing as the pain from the wound finally set in 'He's figured out the Byakugan's secrets.' He slumped forward, cursing as his body refused to move properly 'He makes no wasteful attacks, little by little his aim and power improves, picking up more and more as he goes.' He coughed 'Picking up the byakugan's shortcomings in such a short amount of time…he's the strongest opponent I've ever faced!'

He ran, twisting his back and upper body as he ran, desperate to protect his vitals for as long as possible, at least until he could track the bastard down. Ducking behind a tree he caught his breath, the arachnid's words echoing in his mind as he recalled his father's words of praise, even as another arrow slammed through the tree, missing his skull by five centimeters.

--

'Damn tree got in the way.' Kidoumaru cursed, severing the cord he'd used to steer the arrow and leaping to another perch, right in front of the Hyuuga, but still far enough outside his range to avoid being detected 'Not this time though…I'll add a spin to the arrow, so even if it hits it'll bore right through without slowing down." He continued to spit out thread as the arrow finished forming 'And I'll guide it with a thread right into his blind spot…'

--

'Can I even win?' Neji wondered, gasping for breath, his headband on the floor as he gazed at it, as if for the first time 'My chakra's almost used up…and I can no longer doge his attacks.' He smirked as he recalled a certain fool that had gone on despite the odds…and won. 'Naruto,' he muttered, smirking as the blonde's smirking features entered his mind 'What would YOU do?'

_'Kick ass and then go splurge at Ichiraku.'_ The blonde's confident voice echoed in his mind, causing Neji's eyes to widen in shock _'C'mon, what're you asking me for? You're the genius here aren't you?'_

'Smart aleck punk.' Neji muttered, a smirk on his face as he stood up, face set in grim determination 'Well…since I can't dodge it anyway…'

--

'Striking accuracy: 120!' Kidoumaru announced, grinning madly 'Destructive power: Absolute Maximum!'

He loosed the arrow, the drill tearing through the air and spinning the projectile fiercely, piercing Neji's side just above his liver and boring right through, the Hyuuga not even struggling as it passed through, drilling through a tree and embedding itself in the ground, the Hyuuga held up by the metallic thread that had guided it.

'Got him!' Kidoumaru gloated, smirking as he glared down at the Hyuuga, only to for a jolt to surge through his body, as foreign chakra surged up the thread he still clenched between his teeth 'Wh-what…he's still alive?!' the Otonin gaped, unable to even speak because of the shock, both mental and physical 'Huh…must've pumped…the last of his chakra into the cord…before he croaked.' He muttered, keeling over backwards and startling the birds as he tumbled to the forest floor below.

--

'Eight birds.' Neji muttered wistfully, recalling the day Tenten had come to meet him on the day Tsunade returned before shaking his head 'Where is he?' he wondered, only to tremble from his wounds.

_'Why do you keep fighting your destiny?'_

_'Destiny is something you seize with your own hands.'_

He flinched, breath steadying as he recalled his conversations with Naruto, the youth that had turned his life on its head.

_'Your signature jutsu…I was careless.'_

_'My weakest jutsu…was the bunshin no jutsu.'_

Turning weakness into a strength, seizing victory from the jaws of defeat, making friends out of former enemies…a hurricane that tore through the darkness of peoples hearts to open their eyes to the light and the sky.

_"You can do the same…forget the past and clutch the future with your own hands…"_

Neji's eyes snapped open, Byakugan blazing as he glared straight ahead.

--

"It's just us three now." Kiba muttered, dashing forwards with a snarl as he kept track of the remaining two scents.

"Not a problem," Naruto assured the Inuzuka "Chouji and Neji will catch up in no time." He smirked "Chouji's got that ace up his sleeve after all, and I've fought with Neji so I know he'll be fine."

"How's that?" Shikamaru asked, blinking at the confident smirk on the Hanyou's face as he replied.

"Cause he's a genius."

--

Kidoumaru cursed as he fell, trying to move his muscles but feeling as if they were separate from his mind. 'I played about too much.' He cursed, wincing as he felt the seal demanding more chakra from him 'Didn't take things seriously enou-!'

He trailed off, eyes wide in disbelief as Hyuuga Neji burst through the foliage, glaring right in his face, right arm drawn back and fingers extended as he launched himself at the stunned Otonin.

"HACHIMON HOUGEKI!"

Eight times the Hyuuga struck his foe, eight blows aimed at the eight gates that regulated chakra, causing them to detonated from within, landing behind the target as the victim spiraled through the air, crashing against the floor, his body returning to normal.

"You…took the hits on purpose didn't you?" Kidoumaru coughed out, eyeing his opponent in disbeleif "Why…would you risk your own life like that?"

"You…are the strongest person I have fought.' Neji appraised, looking over his shoulder at the arachnid "but another I fought not so long ago…opened my eyes to how far you can go…by surpassing your own limits." He glared "Too many people have faith in me…for me to just surrender to an outdated word as 'fate'!"

Kidoumaru watched the Hyuuga as he slumped, chuckling weakly "Say what you will, you're dead either way."

Neji smirked confidently at the Otonin, even as he held himself up weakly "I won't die from something like this." he boasted, blood dripping from the corner of his lips.

"Maybe…" Kidoumaru allotted mockingly, chuckling darkly at the Hyuuga "But you can't stop what's happened…after all…Sasuke-sama joined Otogakure of his own volition."

Neji panted recalling his words to Naruto before the battle and smirked, "You're wrong." He assured the confused Otonin "There is someone…who can rescue Sasuke from the darkness."

"Heh," Kidoumaru scoffed "Sasuke-sama belongs to Orochimaru-sama," he shook his head "No-one can save him now."

"HE can…" the Hyuuga assured the teen, looking up at the sky as he spoke, recalling the battle he'd had with a certain jinchuuriki, smiling at the sight of the sole bird that flew in the skies. 'I know…because he saved me…from the darkness.'

--

Kidoumaru watched as the Hyuuga collapsed, coughing up blood. 'Bluffing until the final hand…' he muttered, a smirk on his exhausted face, only to spasm, collapsing on his side as he felt his the last of the eight gates burst, the shock disrupting his abused heart muscles, causing them to slowly stop. 'Crap…' the teen muttered, eyes shutting in disbelief at the inevitable 'I haven't been driven this far…since Kimimaro…'

He gave a last shudder at that name before breathing his last, the memory of his worst nightmare echoing in his mind as he exhaled for the last time.

--

Neji lay on his side, staring at his outstretched right hand as if in a daze 'I'm counting on you…comrades.' He thought, too weak to speak as a golden feather descended from above, alighting on his hand. 'Damn…' he chuckled, just as everything went black 'Looks like I'm up for another fight with Naruto after all…'

--

"We're close!" Kiba called out sharply, looking over his shoulder at his remaining teammates as his partner barked ahead of him "they're dead ahead!"

"And there's only two left," Shikamaru noted, "So we have a one man advantage, if we play our cards right we could win it this round."

"Oi-oi!" Kiba challenged, looking annoyed "Aren't you forgetting something? It's FOUR on two." Akamaru barked his agreement with his master's statement, earning a chuckle from the Nara.

"Right so we have them outnumbered two to one." the chunin chuckled, "But either way we still need a plan, they aren't likely to be off guard like last time…listen close."

Naruto listened in, gritting his teeth as he glared straight ahead, towards the target that had eluded them for so long.

'_Sasuke…' he grit, eyes narrowing slightly 'I said I'd drag you back no matter what…but if Chouji and Neji had to die for it…I'm taking it out of your hide first!'_

--

Hachimon Hougeki: Eight Gates Assault; Players of the ultimate Ninja series may recognise this technique as one of Neji's level three ultimate attacks. it targets the eight celestial gates, detonating the chakra within them whilst simultaneously opening them fully.

So that's another battle won. Yes still tied to cannon, but as I said, this is the rookies' time to shine.

How will Naruto's team continue to fare against the sound 4?

Only I know, and you can find out by reviewing!

* * *


	47. Chapter 47

Another chapter already? I gotta lay off the caffeine again.

Hellboy: Did you forget what happened last time?

Kyugan: Forget what? (Takes a sip out of a Big Glug Mug ExLarge)

Hellboy: ...nevermind.

Kakashi: That can't be good for him...Maybe I should take it off him-!

FRAG-A-DOOM!

Kyugan: (Lowers the grenade launcher with a twirl) NO-ONe stands between me and my Java.

Hellboy: (Eyes the smoking wreck that WAS Kakashi's lower body) point Taken.

Kakashi: Can't...feel...my balls...!

* * *

Double trouble; the twin west gates!

"The sun's setting." Ukon muttered with a growl, scowling at the treelines in annoyance "Looks like those scum were more than he could manage."

"Screw him." Tayuya muttered nonchalantly "What I'M worried about is Orochimaru-sama's condition, we've been running for half a day and only covered a third of the distance."

"No joke." Ukon agreed, leaping through the trees alongside her with a scowl "And we were pressed for time as it was already…"

--

Orochimaru's howls could be heard throughout the tunnels of his secret lair in rice country. The crippled sennin stood under the merciless torrent of hot water in his shower, watching the putrid, dark blood seep from his rotting arms onto the tiles, sliding down the drain at a snails pace. Even as she stood there the arms were decomposing the flesh ripping, allowing more blood to flow.

"Sasuke-kun…" the serpent rasped, leaning an arm on the wall to steady himself, wincing as more rotted skin fell to the floor as a result "Where is Sasuke-kun?!"

"Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto called out, wincing as his master's pained gasps echoed around the bathroom "We have plenty of bodies available for you to use…" he paused for effect "and if need be, you can use myself."

"It has to be Sasuke-kun's body!" the serpent snapped back waspishly, veins bulging around his eyes "How long do you think I've waited for this?!"

"This is an emergency!" Kabuto insisted, waving his hands for emphasis "The late Sandaime's final curse was far more powerful than we anticipated! If you refuse to transfer now you risk losing everything, not just your arms!"

Orochimaru's scream was his only response, the serpent's silhouette collapsing against the shower wall as Kabuto realized what had to be done. "I've already made arrangements for the selection process." He informed his stricken master "Leave everything to me…I shall ensure Sasuke-kun's retrieval."

'Should I use Kimimaro?' he wondered, face set in a mask of professional calm, even as Orochimaru curses for the sandaime filled the air 'No choice, the other four have been profoundly lacking…even if there was a delay they should have reported in by now.'

He flipped through a series of seals, releasing the locks that held several of Orochimaru's 'specimens' in their cells. Walking onto a balcony he grinned down at them, his face a mask of friendly honesty.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen," he greeted "We're going to play a little game…the winner is the last man standing…and the prize?" his smile widened "Freedom."

--

In a dark room filled with medical equipment, a lone figure lay on a hospital bed, tubes and monitoring equipment hooked up to him in a vain attempt to monitor and maintain his condition. It was a losing battle, whatever was eating away at him was beyond even Kabuto's medical prowess.

"I see…" the patient noted tiredly from his prone position "So I wasn't summoned to serve him again…" the voice was full of longing and sadness "Kabuto-sensei…am I ever-?"

"Your sole concern right now is your body." The medic replied strictly, looking over at the figure "You've already fulfilled your duties…and after all, it isn't the 'sound five' anymore…Kimimaro."

"I…" the figure began weakly, his voice determined despite his rapidly deteriorating condition "I can…still…" he trailed off in a fit of coughs.

"We have already located your successor." Kabuto cut in, silencing the figure with his words "and he already has been grated the counterpart to your Gaiafuuin…the Tenfuuin." He nodded "He even possess a Kekkei Genkai, just like you." He smirked "I wonder…which of you is stronger?"

The figure on the bed was silent, but the heart monitor seemed to speed up as his heart rate increased, causing Kabuto to look up. "Hey! Don't get so worked up!" the medic warned, only for the patient to cough, blood seeping out the side of his mouth.

"Kabuto-sensei…" the invalid asked after the coughing fit had subsided again "How long...how much longer…do I have left…?"

"You shouldn't speak anymore." Kabuto insisted, the glow from the monitors shadowing his face, frowning as his patient continued regardless.

"I've wondered recently…" he muttered weakly "For what reason are we born? Does everyone have a greater purpose they must accomplish?" he breathed quietly "To discover that purpose…is the sole gift the Gods granted Humans."

"I understand," Kabuto replied, understanding the teen all to well "Orochimaru-sama is currently in great pain…the situation is beyond critical." He shot the teen a look "I'm afraid I must be frank, what possible use could you be as you are now? You've lost your value as a vessel…and a new vessel is on his way now." He turned to the monitor, where only two of the inmates remained battling "though he may arrive too late by this point."

He frowned as the survivor walked toward the camera, demanding in crass tones for the medic to open the doors. Kabuto did indeed open it…and Orochimaru walked into the chamber, dressed in a plain white kimono as he faced the survivor.

--

"What? There's still one more pest to swat?" the survivor muttered, smirking as he eyed the pale faced, obviously stricken figure confidently "Whatever, let's-!"

He froze, recognizing those golden eyes, the palpable killing intent, as if a giant serpent had coiled around him, head reared back to swallow him whole. 'Oh shit…' the man muttered, shuddering as he broke out in a cold sweat 'it's useless…I'm gonna be eaten alive…!'

"Kukukuku…" Orochimaru cackled weakly "Relax…I will indeed let you out of here…and will even grant you a single wish."

The man jolted, eyeing the lord of Otogakure in terrified disbelief, before lowering his head in defeat. "You captured my clansmen for your experiments." He stated in a defeated tone "I want you to release them."

"Kukukuku…it will be done." Orochimaru assured him, noting the resigned features with a small smile "Do not fret…your strong persona will reside within my subconscious…you will not lose everything." His smile widened as a dull hiss filled the air "Now…I shall take your body."

--

Kabuto watched on, fascinated, as the transfer process began, the screams of the former inmate echoing from the speakers, but ignored by the medic in favour of other, more pressing concerns.

'Now he will be unable to transfer for another three years.' The medic noted grimly, even as the final, agonized screams died away 'but…next time we'll be prepared!'

Behind him, the invalid litened to the fading screams, rising up as they finally came to a close "It is certain…that I am no longer of any value as a vessel for Orochimaru-sama." The seals covering his face tore off "In fact, having lost everything I find it hard to identify my true purpose…"

He sat up, the tubes in his back pulled forward as kept his head bowed "But that matters not…my new purpose is to ensure the new vessel reaches Orochimaru-sama…even if it costs me my life." He stood, ripping the pipes from his back "This is the least I can do…to repay Orochimaru-sama."

--

Tayuya swore as she sensed movement behind her, calling out for Sakon to hold up as they came to a halt, looking back to find three of the group from Konoha looking at them. "Dammit!" she swore, glaring at them in anger "What the hell are those idiot's Kidoumaru and Jiroubou doing?!"

"You're little buddies decided to take up Konoha's tour of the afterlife." Naruto shot back, smirking at the volatile redhead foxily "Perhaps you two'd care to join them? The price of admission is that casket potty-mouth neechan's got there."

Tayuya flushed at the title even as Ukon leapt at the group with a smirk "Now you asked for it brats!" He called out "I'll kill you before you can even blink!"

"Impatient isn't he?" Naruto noted, chakra swirling in his palm even as Kiba and Shikamaru leapt forwards, the Nara swiping at the Otonin with Kunai, only to blink as the fist in his face seemed to multiply.

"TARENKEN!" Ukon called out, multiple blows ramming into the two shinobi, their frames racked by the force, only to vanish in plumes of smoke 'Transformed Shadow clones again?!' he snarled, snapping his attention to Naruto and the sphere of rotating chakra in his hand "Don't think so." He smirked, grabbing the blonde's arm and holding it tight enough to make the bones creak "You aren't going anywhere."

"Who says I want too?" the blonde smirked, grabbing a fistful of Ukon's robe and smirking as the sound of Kiba's Tsuuga filled the air, bursting through the clone as it barreled towards a startled Ukon. The Otonin barely managed to duck under it, a few hairs from his second head clipped away by the force, even as the fanged tornado made straight for Tayuya. The sound kunoichi swore, only to stiffen as her body refused to cooperate, a smirking Shikamaru having successfully caught her in the Kagemane as Kiba captured the casket.

"What the hell are you doing Tayuya?!" Ukon roared, leaping towards the casket even as Tayuya leapt right at him. The two collided in midair, Kiba hurling the casket at a smirking Naruto, who caught it even as Shikamaru sighed.

"Kinda sloppy of you…so many damn openings all over the place." He smirked "Can you really call yourselves professionals?"

"Little brats…" Tayuya growled, picking herself up angrily as Ukon shook himself out of his daze "don't screw around with us!"

"Tempting as that offer sounds potty-mouth neechan." Naruto shot back, "I make a point of not picking up leftovers…especially not Pedo-hebi's."

--

Tayuya gaped at the boy in shock and embarrassment, even as Ukon rose to his feet, curse seal and rage marring his features as he leapt after them. "I'LL CASTRATE YOU LITTLE SHITS!" the two-headed teen roared, leaping after the group as they made a break for it.

'Shit! Fucker's faster than I thought!' Kiba winced, hoping they had enough time to get clear, looking down to find Akamaru setting the last of the explosive tags for their trap. "GET clear the second it's set!" he barked out, cursing as Ukon got all the closer to them, noticing the nin-pup with a snarl.

"QUIT YOUR BITCHING!" the Otonin snarled, startling the puppy even as it made a break for it, Kiba staring in horror as Akamaru caught his paw on a branch, landing on a branch even as the trap activated, whimpering in terror.

"Akamaru!" the teen yelled, breaking formation and leaping after his partner, grabbing him just as Ukon entered the blast zone, the tag going off in an impressive display of pyrotechnics that belied it's size.

Kiba grabbed his partner and leapt through the trees, using the impact of the explosion to push him further, noticing Ukon sailing not so gently across from him, having walked right into the trap. Leaping at him and slugging him across the face with his free hand, the two opponents sailed uncontrolled through the woods, grappling fiercely and savagely in mid-air, only to blink as the trees vanished…to reveal the gaping chasm below.

"Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-T!!"

--

"KIBA! AKAMARU!" Naruto yelled, looking for the duo desperately, only to sigh as he caught their scent leaving the blast radius. His sense of smell might not e as powerful as an Inuzuka's, but that didn't really matter when you took into account just how much Kiba's jacket reeked of dog.

"YOU SONS A BITCHES!" Tayuya roared, leaping forwards in the wake of the explosion, raw fury etched across her face as she glared at the remaining two Konoha nins.

"Tenacious isn't she…" Shikamaru muttered with a grim expression "Naruto, I'll hold her off, you get that casket the hell out of here!"

"Shikamaru…" Naruto began, only to freeze, the hackles on the back of his neck rising even as he caught the scent of death and illness swooping down from behind. He lunged at Shikamaru, pushing the startled chunin out of the way in time to avoid a strike that severed the branch they were standing on, the casket grabbed and pulled away by a figure that looked down on them with impassive green eyes.

"You're late…Tayuya." The figure noted, turning to regard the terrified looking kunoichi with his impassive stare "Explain yourself."

"Why…why are YOU here?!" Tayuya stammered, a cold sweat soaking her frame as she eyed the former leader of Orochimaru's bodyguards "Kimimaro!"

--

'So that's the bastard's name.' Naruto noted grimly, eyeing the figure before him 'Didn't even sense him till he was right on top of me…and if the smell coming off him's any sign if he wasn't sick I doubt I'd have been so lucky.'

"Sorry Naruto…" Shikamaru offered, eyeing the newcomer with a smirk "Looks like I miscalculated…wasn't expecting backup considering how far we were from the border."

"Coulda happened to anyone." Naruto assured him, glaring up at the conversing servants of the serpent, his hackles rising at the scent of death.

"And where are the other three?" Kimimaro asked of Tayuya, impassive as always "You, who once claimed to be members of the sound five?"

"Why are you here?" Tayuya asked, looking over the man carefully, as if to check for signs of a henge or genjutsu "Your body…"

"My flesh may no longer function," Kimimaro replied flatly, face as emotionless as a Noh mask "But my WILL is more than enough to move me."

"Damn," Tayuya muttered, looking impressed despite herself at the man's tenacity "With one foot in the grave…you immortal or something?"

"Hardly," the white haired man replied "I have merely touched upon the fringe of Orochimaru-sama's dream." He placed a hand on the casket "THIS was meant to be the perfect vessel to accomplish that dream…" he scowled at the woman "but you took too long."

He raised an eyebrow as Naruto launched at him, sword sheathed at his side and attempting a mid-air battojutsu strike. "Hiten Mitsurugi ryu!" the Hanyou called out, "RYUKANSE-!"

The blonde trailed off as Tayuya sucker punched him from the side, sending him crashing into Shikamaru, who steadied him with a grunt. "Tayuya…" Kimimaro stated calmly in the frozen redhead's ear "the reason I have yet to kill you, is that you still have a mission to accomplish." He looked towards the recovering leaf duo "I leave those two to you…do NOT fail again."

And with that the leader of the sound five departed, taking the casket with him.

--

'Shit on a goddamn cracker…' Tayuya cursed, whipping out a flute as she glared at the meddling brats 'Blondie's a close ranged specialist with kenjutsu and clones…and the leader's a mid-range type good at restraining opponents with that shadow jutsu of his.'

She smirked as they braced themselves for a charge, "Bring it bitches." She taunted, smirking as they tried to double-team her "Numbers mean squat to me! Bring it!"

She deflected a strike form Shikamaru, glaring up as Naruto leapt at her from above…only to blink as he gave her a victory sign as he passed overhead.

"Ja-na! Potty mouth-neechan!" the blonde taunted "Yo Shikamaru! Try some of that Nara charm on her, you like tough women don't ya?"

"AHO!" Shikamaru barked after the blonde, a vein bulging on his forehead as he gave the teen the finger "Who likes tough women?!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Tayuya snapped, eyes pupil less as she rounded on the Nara in an embarrassed rage "You tricked me you cheating bastards!" she leapt back as she noticed the Nara's shadow, glaring at the smirk on his face.

"Not the type to be caught twice are you?" Shikamaru shot back, smirking at the annoyed redhead "At least Naruto got away…remember Jutsu ain't what makes a ninja…brains are pretty darn reliable too."

"Asshole." Tayuya muttered scornfully "What do you think a loser like you can do?" she smirked "Think about it, every time you've caught up to us your numbers have depleted, is Sasuke really that important to you?" she scoffed "How sweet…makes me wanna puke."

Shikamaru regarded her solemnly, before sighing "Since your so chatty, this is my first time as squad leader…I was worried I might make the wrong decisions." He frowned "Their lives were in my hand, I should have put more value in them then a single abducted person and abandoned this suicide mission."

"Then why didn't you?" Tayuya asked, honestly intrigued. If it had been her she'd have bailed, punishment or not.

"Thing don't always go as planned in the real world." Shikamaru smirked "Besides, there isn't a single member of my cell that would abandon their teammates to protect themselves…including me." He got to his feet "As a poor excuse for a leader…all a lazy bastard like I can do is have faith in my team." He made another seal "Don't refer to them as sacrifices…they aren't dead." He scowled "Don't underestimate my team…oh wait…too late."

"Fucker…" Tayuya hissed, preparing for battle.

--

"GATSUUGA!"

Ukon smirked as the twin tornadoes rushed him from the front and rear. 'These two never learn.' He muttered, grabbing Kiba's arms even as his twin grabbed the beast-clone, sending his foot through Ukon's stomach to block Kiba's kick to the groin.

"Two on two sounds a lot fairer to me." He muttered snidely as the Inuzuka's jaw dropped "Wouldn't you agree…Sakon?"

Kiba barely had time to blink before the silent head punched Akamaru in the face, dispelling the Jujin bunshin and sending the puppy sailing. Ukon followed up by launching another Tarenken at the Inuzuka's torso. Kiba attempted to dodge just before the blow pulverized his face, only for a second arm to extend from Ukon's elbow, grabbing by the throat even as the older teen pulverized the rock.

"My aniki and I have been inseparable since we were brats." Ukon informed the stunned Inuzuka mockingly "Normally he like to sleep within me but pitches in during a fight…extending his arms, legs, any part of his body in fact, to strike and defend."

Kiba gaped in shock as a second head grew out of Ukon's skull like a disgusting wart, a fist extending from it to punch him in the face. Before he could recover, the twins launched a barrage of kick at his mid-section and crotch, sending the teen sprawling into his partner.

"Three times the damage in a single blow!" Ukon cackled madly, his face twisted in a malicous sneer "How's it feel bitch?! Lemme hear ya howl!"

"Ukon…" a deeper voice growled, a hand wrapping around the teen's mouth as his Aniki's seal started to take over his body "Quit fooling around…that's what got the others…" Sakon shifted into the second state, a single horn extending from his right temple as he came forward "Activate the second state…Let's kill them!"

"Always so eager to kill aniki…" Ukon muttered, shifting into an almost identical oni form, the horn on his left temple "So how do want them? Deep fried? Boild?"

"Shredded." Sakon growled, the two crouching down in preparation for their attack.

--

'Shit, something tells me those horns aren't for show.' Kiba growled 'Dammit, bad enough that twin came out to play…now their chakra's increased tenfold!' he jumped as Akamaru barked at him, eyes widening in disbelief "Wha-you want us to use THAT?" he stammered "We can't! That jutsu takes up too much chakra. Without backup we'd be road kill for those –Ack!"

He gaped down as the puppy sank his fangs into his hand, half expecting it to turn into Naruto, only for the puppy to chastise him with a growl and turn to face the charging twins. 'Hmmph…some master…bitten by my own dog…' he got to his feet with a growl 'Alright Akamaru…let's do this…!'

He stood his ground as the twins rushed him, allowing them to body-slam him into the canyon wall, grabbing a fistful of robes as he did so. "Akamaru! Mark him!"

Sakon swore as the puppy spun through the air like a furry sprinkler, corrosive, foul smelling piss splashing him in the face as he howled, loosening his grip on the Inuzuka.

"Try this on for size!" Kiba called out, Akamaru landing on his head as he flipped through the seals "Inuzuka-ryu: Combi Jujin bunshin!"

The brothers 'kon' gaped up in shock at the massive, two headed canine that loomed over them, corrosive drool falling from it's massive fangs as it growled at them.

"SOUTOROU!"

--

"Hmmph, yeah whatever." Ukon replied with a dismissive smirk "A bigger bitch is still a bitch, what difference does larger fangs make?"

"More than enough for you!" Kiba's guttural voice snarled, the lupine behemoth spinning forward in a larger, faster form of the regular Tsuuga. The twins barely managed to avoid it the first time, Sakon cursing as it clipped the inside of his leg, ripping the skin to shreds. Before they could gather their wits, Ukon landed badly on something dark, brown and decidedly smelly, stumbling in disgust.

"The fuck?! Oh I did not just step in-!" the disgusted teen retched, only to spin round at his brother's insistent warning, eyes wide in shock, "SHI-!"

"GAROUGA!"

--

The gigantic cyclone of fangs and claws barreled into the teens, smashing them through several stalagmites, before finally ripping the conjoined body in two, the halves flinging about with the momentum of the tornado before flying off to different sides of the scar it left on the ravine floor.

"How's that!" Kiba snarled at the duo, the wolf's head seeming to smirk ferally "Garouga is a high-speed rotation, so fast we can't even rely on our vision." He smirked "Even if it doesn't connect, the shockwaves can still rip you to shreds…but seeing as you idiots took it head on you should understand that by now."

He blinked, feral pupils widening as he watched the two supposed corpses sprout armored arms and legs from where they'd been separated, Sakon sitting up with a smirk as Ukon walked up beside him.

"Nah," the latter muttered offhandedly, as if being ripped apart hadn't meant anything at all "We were just thinking of a little divide and conquering."

"I'll give you one thing though." Sakon noted, getting to his feet, the blood from his earlier wound still dripping "That last one would've finished us…if it'd hit." He smirked as he stood up "Now the real fight begins."

--

'Dammit.' Kiba snarled, even as his partner whined quietly 'We only got one more shot at this…we gotta nail them this try!'

"GAROUGA!"

The tornado launched at the twins, who separated, landing behind to separate boulders, at least thirty feet apart. "No use hiding!" Kiba called out over the spin "I already told you we aren't using our eyes…we marked you earlier! A wolf follows it nose!"

The twins merely chuckled, biting their thumbs and slamming their hands down in a summoning.

"RASHOUMON!"

Kiba could only gape in shock as the demonic gate loomed up in front of them, unable to turn due to the techniques velocity, crashing into it headfirst, actually leaving a dent in the massive gate.

'Hate to admit it, but that's one hell of a blow.' Ukon muttered grudgingly, watching as the wolf slipped from the dent lifelessly 'For Orochimaru-sama's Rashoumon to have faltered that much…heh, no matter, this is the end!'

He leapt at the wolf alongside his brother, only to curse as the left head spun the body around so it took the brunt of his blow, pissing right in his twin's face even as the jutsu dispelled, the mutt and the pup crashing down on the floor.

--

'Akamaru…' Kiba breathed, eyeing his partner in concern, ignoring Sakon's hysterical screams as the corrosive piss burned his eyes. 'Where's the other one!?' he snarled, looking round for the left horned one only to flinch as a chuckle sounded in his ear.

"Looking for me?" Ukon asked, his head growing out of the Inuzuka's shoulder like some sort of demonic wart "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

"Ukon!" the distraught Sakon yelled, as he clawed at his face "You used me as a shield! Dammit this isn't ordinary piss! It's like acid!"

"I'll handle the rest from here," Ukon growled out "Go soak your head in that stream over there." He watched as his twin stumbled off, only to smirk and switch to the Inuzuka's left shoulder to avoid a punch, grabbing the punk's fist with his own. "I don't think so," he mocked "My ability specializes in assassination, all the senses and claws in the world are powerless before MY skills."

He leered at the enraged mutt "You know how the Keirakukei entwine with the vital organs right? Well it even extends as fall as the production of cells, all the way down to protein." He smirked "At level 2, I can dissolve and reform those cells through chakra, in other words, I break down my own body…and become a part of yours…in other words, right now we're sharing this body."

He chuckled at the Inuzuka's look of shock "Oh don't be so alarmed, we aren't completely assimilated, my cells can swim around freely to generate parts unique to myself…enabling me to sever the parts which AREN'T linked to me from this mortal coil."

"That so?" Kiba replied, grinning ferally as he used his free hand to whip out a kunai, burying it in his own gut with clenched teeth, his grin widening as Ukon choked, spitting out blood "Well now…ain't that a kick in the pants?"

"S-SUICIDE?!" Ukon gaped, blood trailing down his chin as he glared at the boy in shock "Y-you wouldn't!"

"Welcome to hotel Kiba bitch…" the Inuzuka smirked, eyes defiant even as blood trailed down his chin "Sorry to say this, but we have a strict freeloader policy!"

"You're crazy!" Ukon screamed, only to shriek as the brat stabbed himself deeper in the gut, the demonic visage twisting in agony as Kiba smirked.

"You saying I've gone mad?" Kiba asked, a glint in his eyes that the demonic parasite didn't like one bit "Too bad…my clan has polices about mad dogs…" he raised the Kunai above his head "Time ta be put down!"

Ukon gaped and barely managed to separate himself, cursing as his own stomach tore as Kiba stabbed himself. 'Dammit! Losing blood!' the parasite cursed, raising his armored left arm to deflect the Kunai hurled at him by the Inuzuka, cursing as he tore through the smokescreen left in his wake. "WHERE IS HE?!" he snarled, looking round for the punk, only to see the prone form of the puppy lying abandoned "Heh, so he abandoned the mutt and escaped…smart thing to do, but even I'm not that heartless."

He blinked, eyes widening as the puppy started to smoke, only to gape in horror as the thing expanded like a balloon, the disguised trap exploding as several Kunai rocketed towards him like freshly loosed arrows.

--

Sakon cursed as he washed his face, listening in as his brother's scream of rage shattered the relative calm of the ravine. "Quit your bitching." He growled, eyes still tearing from the piss "It's making my eyes ache-what the hell happened to you?!"

"Shut up." Ukon growled, having reverted to semi normal form "I'd hunt those brats down myself but I'm drained…catch them alive! I'll kill them when I wake up."

"Yare-yare," Sakon growled, "I get it, don't worry." He smirked as a second horn formed on his skull, his aniki sinking into his back "We'll kill them together."

--

Kiba cursed as he caught their scent coming ever closer, Akamaru resting on his lap as he tried to stem the flow of blood. 'Dammit…lost too much blood, and the pain in my gut ain't doing me any favors either.' He eyed the form of his partner sadly 'Akamaru…I may have saved you…but…'

_'What? You're just giving up?'_ Naruto's voice mocked the canine teen, _'C'mon, what happened to the only guy that tried to out prank me back at the academy?'_

Kiba blinked, the sound of the rushing river and the ever-approaching scent of the twins rushing through his head as he smirked, whispering in his partner's ear.

--

"Too damn easy…" Sakon smirked, following the trail of blood through the path of stalagmites, catching sight of the slumped form of Kiba's jacket behind one dead ahead "Payback time bitch." He hissed, readying his clawed right arm for the final blow, slashing down at the coat only to gape in shock as it fell open to reveal a big steaming pile of-!

--

Kiba smirked, listening to Sakon's howls as he waded through the river, patting his partner on the head as he went. 'Teach you to underestimate a cornered dog.' The Inuzuka mocked, the cursing of the demonic parasites music to his ears. 'I just hope the others managed to get away.'

--

Will Kiba survive the brothers kon? Will Shikamaru make any headway with Tayuya?

And what of Naruto and Kimimaro?

All these and more on the next installment of Hokage no issan!

* * *


	48. Chapter 48

Hellboy: okay, seriously, this is getting outright scary right now.

Wesker: What are you looking at ME for?!

Hellboy: You're the one that fixed the damn java machine!

Wesker: Oh sure, blame ME for the fact the machine came from Umbrella!

Nemy: BAAAAAAAAAD! (This is most troublesome!)

Kyugan: Must...keep Updating! Saga...nearly...over!

* * *

Melody of the damned; North Gate's Tayuya.

'Dammit, I don't like this.' Naruto growled, leaping through the trees, eyes forwards and teeth clenched 'First Chouji, then Neji, this whole missions been whittling us down!'

'**Things like this should be expected.'** Kyuubi opined, his voice entering his son's thoughts with cold logic **'Especially considering who these vermin work for.'**

'Orochimaru…' Naruto growled, teeth cracking against each other as he picked up the pace, his whisker marks darkening as his eyes shifted from red-ringed blue to demonic red, the slit pupils still retaining their humanity, but only just.

'**Calm down!'** the Taiyoukai ordered **'What use would losing your temper do?! Did you forget what it did to me?!"**

Naruto spasmed, shaking himself as his eyes returned to normal, though the whisker marks and aura of red chakra lining his skin remained, if dulled somewhat. 'Sorry, Tou-san.' He muttered 'It's just…he's cost everyone so much…and if he gets Sasuke-!'

'**I doubt it would matter if he did.'** Kyuubi noted offhandedly **'That fellow that reeked of illness, what do you think he meant when he said they were 'too late'?'**

'Dunno,' Naruto admitted 'be nice if the snake croaked before Sasuke even got there…but seeing as they're still taking him with them that option's out.'

'**Leave nothing to chance.'** Kyuubi muttered, seemingly hovering at his son's side in astral form '**The serpent in the grass is cunning, even the most daring of foxes looks before he leaps.'**

'Old age wisdom?' Naruto scoffed, smirking good-naturedly at his demonic sire's mental image 'Where the heck'd you pick that up?'

'**I have, or had, a book of quotes your mother gave me.'** The demon replied with a cough **'I merely…took certain liberties here and there.'**

'Great, as if learning from ONE plagiarist wasn't bad enough.' Naruto chuckled, ignoring his father's growls as he caught sight of sunlight at the end of the grove of trees. 'Hang in there Sasuke…don't you die till I've taken all the crap we've suffered out of your hide.'

--

Kimimaro blinked, eyeing the casket under his arm in confusion. He could have sworn he'd heard the vessel inside sneeze, rather loudly in fact. 'Impossible.' He decided, 'The seal has not worn of yet, most likely it is my illness, playing tricks on me.'

"Hold it right there you walking corpse!" a loud voice called out, causing the sole survivor of clan Kaguya to turn to face his pursuer, the blonde youth with the sword. "Sorry, Sasuke's already got enough problems of his own to deal with," the blonde called out, smirking as he stood at the edge of the woods "So I'd really prefer it if you gave him back before he caught something off you…like Pedo-hebi cooties."

"I do not have these…cooties…you speak of." The Kaguya replied flatly "Nor shall I surrender the vessel to you, he belongs to Orochimaru-sama."

"Tell the snake to get in line," Naruto muttered, spitting off to the side, "Half of Konoha's ladies all claim the teme 'belongs' to them…" he shuddered "Actually, if that tattoo he has on his ass is any sign, the only one with any claim on him is Anko…though I'm not one to talk…freaky jounin with her weird fetishes."

Kimimaro honestly didn't know where this conversation was going. One minute the blonde was denying Orochimaru's claim to the vessel, now he was ranting on about some woman and her bizarre habits. What the hell was a dominatrix anyway? Or a love-bite for that matter?

"Am I right in assuming you will attempt to keep me from taking the vessel to Orochimaru-sama?" he asked, noting how the youth snapped to attention, assuming a battojutsu stance "Then that is all I need to know." He muttered, a bone sliding out of his palm as he stood ready "Come."

--

If there was one thing Nara Shikamaru couldn't understand it was women.

No matter what his father said about how necessary they were he really didn't see why so many otherwise normal guys turned into drooling idiots when one walked past.

It wasn't that he was sexist, hell, his village was the FIRST to promote a kunoichi to the rank of hokage and he was quite content to accept missions from her as he had the Sandaime. So what if she had a huge rack, drank like a fish and had a nasty habit of sleeping on the job, hell he could relate to her on the last one.

It wasn't even that he disliked women, his pre-waking moments were often filled with several attractive young women, often dressed in rather skimpy variations of their usual garb or nothing at all, simply gazing up at the clouds with him or flying by overhead, smiling down at him.

No, what drove the Nara to his wits end was how women could be so damned confusing. One minute so sweet and demure they'd give you cavities, the next biting your damn head off for breathing their air.

It didn't help that he mostly associated with women who seemed to be permanently more inclined to do the latter, his mother, female teammate and her just as annoying rival for example.

Right now he had more pressing concerns to deal with, namely the VERY angry, foulmouthed redhead that was standing in the way of his first mission as a squad leader.

"Don't underestimate my comrades." He warned her, smirking coyly "Oh wait…too late, I forgot about your friends." The smirk vanished rather quickly as the redhead own smirk grew, biting her thumb and slapping a palm down on the branch before her.

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"

Shikamaru eyed the three, undead musclemen lined up between him and his opponent and sighed, an exasperated look on his face as he cursed Naruto and his habit for rubbing off on people.

"Ah crap…"

--

"I'm gonna play you a funeral dirge." Tayuya called out, a confident smirk on her face as she readied her flute "The one who shouldn't underestimate people…is YOU!"

She began playing on her flute, a lilting, manic tune that stirred the undead giants into action. She felt a slight twinge as her Tenfuuin activated, the lightning bolt tattoos crossing her face and boosting her chakra as the one with the club lashed out at the pesky chunin.

Not letting up, she picked up the pace, the mummy and the one with the spiked gauntlets leapt through the foliage, ripping through branches and trunks with brute strength as sheer momentum as they launched themselves at their target.

--

'She controls them with her flute?!' Shikamaru yelped, leaping out of the line of fire with a grunt, trying to make sense of their patterns only to be denied the luxury, the brutes giving no clear sign of obeying anything other than the music.

He ducked and weaved, retreating the entire time as he tried to make sense of the melody, but to no avail. Tayuya and the trio kept hedging him in, so even if he dodged one ugly the other two would be ready to swat him back, and charging straight at the woman was a no go, she'd be expecting that.

Pretty soon he found himself backed against a tree trunk, surrounded by the demonic stooges as Tayuya chuckled. "Nowhere left to run to run you fucking rat." The redhead mocked, looking down at the chunin, only to frown as he snorted.

"You're not too shabby," Shikamaru praised "your timings pretty impressive…must've taken a lot of practice, getting that melody of yours just right."

"So you figured it out." Tayuya noted, mildly impressed despite herself "Hell, you even managed to appreciate how difficult the melody is…but there's no way you can interpret it."

"Fraid not," Shikamaru admitted, a wry smirk on his face "Art was never my forte back at the academy…too much like real work."

"Uncultured brat," Tayuya snorted, regarding the nonplussed Nara with a snort, "but then what would a leaf monkey know about art?"

'Fuck all that's what.' Shikamaru muttered to himself 'But if she controls all three with her flute that means that melody contains specific sounds keyed to those bruisers' movements.' He swallowed 'Damn…if it were simply up to analytical ability I'd be fine but I think I'm in real trouble here…why the hell did I have to be born tone deaf?!'

"I'll give you credit for lasting this long," Tayuya praised scornfully, lifting the flute to her lips "But NO-ONE has survived this next piece…9th verse: Makyo no Ran!"

--

Shikamaru's eyes widened as the tune changed, some inner instinct warning him that some new hell was about to begin even as he leapt up to avoid their combined strike to the branch he'd abandoned. His eyes widened as the mouths of all three puppets opened, spewing out a weird, cloudlike mass with multiple fanged mouths. Flipping in mid-air to avoid them he gaped as one of them latched onto his arm, only to pass, through, pulling out an astral copy of it, before biting a chunk off.

'Holy shit!' the Nara swore, landing on a branch and hurling three Kunai at the spectral monsters, only for them to pass through with little damage 'Just as I thought!' he uttered, leaping out of the way to reveal an explosive tag, which detonated seconds after the specters came across it.

'He noticed the danger the spirits presented with one encounter and chose to keep his distance.' Tayuya noted with a smirk, never pausing in her actions as she kept the melody going 'Smarter than I gave him credit for, but hiding down a rat hole won't save him.'

'That thing took a chunk of my physical energy with it,' Shikamaru noted, panting for breath as quietly as possible to avoid detection 'My guess it's nothing more than a mass of chakra formed purely from spiritual energy…and since those corpses lack the physical energy needed to balance them out, they leech it out of their targets with every chance they get.'

He eyed his trembling hand with a grimace 'Not good, take too many blows from that and I'll be unable to use my own chakra…have to avoid those spirits and target the main body.' He looked at Tayuya carefully 'Which means silencing that flute, but the problem's getting near her. The alternative is to nail those three with the Kagemane simultaneously…but if I miss even one it'll be game over.'

He smiled appreciatively at the redhead as she played away, keeping a wary eye out for him 'She leaves no openings in both her offense and defense, bet any money she's good at shogi.' Smirking, he took a self-inventory 'I'm down to 12 kunai, 9 shuriken, 12m of wire, one flash grenade and an explosive tag.' He shifted into his 'thinking' pose 'Damn, s'like I'm playing without a rook or bishop.'

After a few minutes of pondering, during which the chakra eaters came dangerously close to finding him, the Nara opened his eyes with a smirk, dangling the kunai from a wire, the, two attached to the tag and flash respectively.

'I have nine moves to make,' the Nara noted, hurling the explosive tag at Tayuya 'The deciding factor is the time between each move!'

--

Tayuya scoffed as she dodged the explosion, keeping her fingers moving as she kept an eye out for the rat as he scampered around in the foliage, sending the club and the mummy to find him. She didn't even flinch as another Kunai hurtled towards her face, the claw leaping in front and deflecting the tool airborne threat, even as the mummy was sent to attack the point of origin, cursing as she was forced to protect her self from another Kunai with the claw.

'A ploy to conceal his location?' she muttered, resisting the urge to gnash her teeth at his childish antics 'Quit messing around!'

The only response to her mental rebuke was four Kunai target at her from all sides. Once again, The claw deflected them before they got near, the weapons sticking into it's gauntleted arm. Just as she was about to send the beasts on a rampage however, the little rat dropped from cover, a smirk on his face. "Know what the best thing about shogi is?" he called out, even as the three stooges leapt at him at her behest, "Using the pawns you captured from the enemy against them."

Tayuya blinked, eyes widening as the flash bang fell in front of her, severed from it's perch by another kunai. 'What?! NO!' the redhead gaped, covering her eyes even as the little sphere detonated, 'He's using the light to increase the shadows!'

"Kagemane…successful." Shikamaru muttered, grinning at the annoyed kunoichi as her three servants turned to face her, mimicking his pose, like American football players before kickoff.

--

"Impossible!" the volatile redhead accused the teen, "How'd you predict their moves?! There's no way you figured out the pattern of my melody!"

"Your right, I couldn't." Shikamaru replied, blunt honesty in every line of his face "Too bad what I was paying attention to wasn't the melody…but the source."

Tayuya's eyes widened as the Nara smirked at her, chuckling appreciatively despite himself. "Pretty nimble fingers you have there." He applauded, the trio mimicking his movements, or rather club and claw did, whilst Mummy sort of convulsed.

'No way…' Tayuya stammered, raising the flute to her lips in defiance even as she shook in alarm 'He...read their movements through my fingers?!'

"Right index and ring finger," Shikamaru shot back, startling her "in conjunction with your left middle and pinkie fingers, create a tune that gets the middle guy moving." He smirked "As you were dodging my attacks and looking for me, I analyzed the movements of those nimble fingers of yours and tied them in with your cronies' movements, THAT'S how I was able to figure them out."

Tayuya snarled and blew on the flute, only for her minions to quiver in the grip of the kid's shadow. "It's useless," Shikamaru informed her "my Kagemane's collared your little pets." He stretched out an arm, all three mimicking him as he grabbed one of the kunai embedded in the claw's gauntlet "The balls in my court now…let's see how you like being chased around." He raised an eyebrow "What? Aren't you gonna arm yourself? Music alone won't tame these beasts."

"Aho," Tayuya replied with a confident smirk "This flute is the only weapon I need, NO-ONE has heard it and lived to tell the tale!"

"Suit yourself." Shikamaru muttered, leaping forward along with the stooges under his control, only for Tayuya to dispel them in mid lunge.

"Too bad!" the redhead taunted, laughter in her tone "You couldn't use your precious pawns!" she smirked as the kid slumped, readying herself for an attack, only to blanch as she once again found herself incapable of movement. 'No-way!'

"Kagemane…successful." Shikamaru muttered with a smirk, pointing at her with his kunai "I told you I'd corner you, those pawns were nothing more than decoys. The first move in shogi is to fake out the opponent, then swoop in for the kill. Simple really."

'Bastard!' Tayuya growled, gritting her teeth as she struggled in the hold of the jutsu, resigning herself to the inevitable 'I gotta take him down with force…fuck, wasn't expecting to use level 2 here.' She smirked despite herself, watching the horror on the brats face grow as her skin darkened to brown, her hair lengthening to trail down her sides even as horns ripped through her headband to perch atop her head 'I gotta hand it to him though…the bastard's pretty good.'

"You're smart…" she grit out, moving through the jutsu with her immense strength "But from here on out it's all down to brute force!"

--

'What the…hell?' Shikamaru gaped, unable to comprehend the transformation that happened right in front of him 'What the heck is she?!'

The demonic redhead moved, causing Shikamaru to stumble as she nearly broke through the Kagemane with brute force 'Gah! Her Chakra and strength are off the scale!' he grunted, bracing himself even as he grit his teeth 'Dammit, why the hell am I so turned on by all this?!'

Shaking himself, the Nara, flipped through the series of seals he'd held in reserve, praying he had enough chakra left as he pumped it into his shadow. "Kage Kubi Shibari no jutsu!" he called out, the shadowy hands forming from the depths at Tayuya's feet, slowly snaking their way up her legs… across her stomach...her chest…

'DAMMIT!' the Nara cursed, crouching down tighter as his less intelligent head stood to attention 'When I get back I'm SO strangling Oyaji!'

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Tayuya yelled, writhing as she tried to fight off the hands, her eyes wide and pupil-less again "What the hell is this you ACK!" she flushed scarlet as one of the hands groped her right breast, glaring at the Nara in a rage "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR TOUCHING YOU PERVERT!"

"It's not my fault!" Shikamaru snapped back, cursing his faltering control over the jutsu at long range "I'm aiming for your neck!"

"THE HELL YOU A-HEY!" Tayuya snapped, twitching as one of the hands groped her between the thighs "KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!"

"ACK!" Shikamaru yelped, blushing furiously in embarrassment, nearly breaking the jutsu, only to blink as Tayuya raised her flute to her lips "Oh SHI-!"

He hurled a Kunai at her, making a one handed seal to release any possible genjutsu, only to slump forwards, his arms held out to his sides.

"Tch, where the hell were you aiming?" Tayuya muttered, gasping as the hands released her and nearly staggering as she slumped against the trunk of the tree she was standing on. 'That was a little TOO close.' She muttered, shooting the paralyzed Nara a glare 'Perverted little rat…'

--

'I can't move…' Shikamaru noted 'Sound based Genjutsu…you'd think covering the ears would do it, but it affects the inner ear, not the outer.'

He looked around, flinching at what could only be a vision of hell, red sand and decomposing skeletons littered about, red clouds in the sky with wires descending from them, latched around his arms, wrists and legs, holding him like a prisoner about to be beheaded.

'Oh real original.' He muttered, unable to even tug at the wires for some reason 'You'd think she'd put more effort into this, being so damn artistic.'

He flinched suddenly, gaping in horror as his right arm began to, literally, melt off the bone, the searing, liquid pain of his flesh slipping off the bone searing through his brain as he let out a scream that echoed throughout the barren desert.

--

'Heh…music to my ears.' Tayuya smirked, continuing her musical torture as the Nara's screams echoed throughout the woods 'in level 2 I can perform various musical genjutsu with this flute…but after all the hell you put me through this one's perfect, binding the opponent and making them suffer untold pain.'

She blinked, catching sight of the Kunai he'd hurled as a last act of defiance, and smirking. "Tell me…" she asked the suspended form before her "How's it feel to be the one trussed up like a damn turkey?" she grabbed the kunai, leaping over to the twitching form of the chunin and smirked as she raised his own weapon over her head for the final blow. "See ya in hell, perverted ra-gck!"

She balked, almost dropping the kunai as the supposedly bound chunin spun to face her, punching her right between her stomach and lungs, driving the air out of her as she slumped against him.

'H-How…?' she managed to choke out, catching sight of the shadowy trail that had looped itself around the brat's arm 'He…used the shadow to break his own finger?! He broke the genjutsu with pain, he was playing possum!'

"KISAMA!" she snapped, moving to disembowel the pest, only to freeze as he spoke in her ear, a flush coming to her features as his breath tickled it.

"I told you…" Shikamaru reminded the girl, a shaky smirk on his face from the pain and sheer timing of his escape "First moves a fake-out, the second move you takes them out, basic strategy, remember?" he smirked as the shadowy hands crawled up her legs, undistracted by their progress by standing this close. "This move's a little different though, unlike Kagemane, my Kage Kubi Shibari has a stronger hold the closer I am to the target."

"Shit…" Tayuya managed to grit out, fighting down the embarrassed flush "I rushed in…careless."

"Not exactly," Shikamaru countered, "The only careless move you made was telling me that flute was your only weapon." He smirked as she twitched, "That's right…I threw the kunai there on purpose…just so you'd pick it up and come into my range to finish me off."

"Shit…" Tayuya muttered appreciatively "You might be a perverted little rat…but you got some balls pulling off a stunt like this."

"And a gentleman to boot." Shikamaru chuckled "Normally I wouldn't dream of striking a lady…but with a tongue like yours I don't think you qualify."

He aimed another strike at her stomach, only for her left hand to block, grabbing the fist in a tight grip. "So you blocked my genjutsu," the kunoichi growled, a smirk on her face, demonic yellow eyes glinting "Don't let it go to your damn head!"

--

'Dammit, I can't completely subdue her yet,' Shikamaru grit out, glaring at the hand and the shadows at his feet, 'But I can't lose here!' He focused, a vein forming on his forehead as the shadow hands inched ever so slowly to the woman's neck, finally curling around it, only for her Chakra to grow stronger.

'What the hell?!' Shikamaru gaped, noting the horns on the kunoichi's head growing larger 'Why does something tell me her getting hornier is a bad thing?' he muttered, cursing as the chakra she was giving off forced the hands away from her neck 'Dammit, Kage Kubi Shibari drains my chakra too much…but if I let her go now I'm dead!'

He grit his teeth, trying to simultaneously hold her in place whilst trying to force the hand near her throat back in position. 'No good, at this rate I'll run out before she even gets tired-!'

_'C'mon man…this isn't like you.'_ Naruto's voice echoed mockingly in the nara's skull _'Who was it that keeps referring to women as troublesome?'_

'Shut up!' Shikamaru muttered, trying to banish the voice and concentrate at the same time 'I've never encountered anything like this before!'

_'That's your problem,'_ the voice mocked _'If something gets too 'troublesome' you just curl up and surrender, some chunin you are.'_

'Then what would YOU suggest?' the chunin muttered, teeth clenched tight as he fought to maintain the jutsu 'I cant even get my hands around her neck!'

_'So go with what you CAN reach.'_ The voice taunted, _'after all, you control IS better up close…'_

Shikamaru's eyes widened as he caught the meaning of the words, resisting the urge to curse at the blonde or whatever the hell it was he'd heard before sighing. 'Ah well…dad always said I was failing at life…' he gathered the remnants of his chakra and frowned 'Lets see if that book of his was right…'

--

Tayuya smirked as she felt the brat's jutsu weakening, the hand trailing away from her throat as she pressed onward. 'Just a bit more…' she growled, grinning ferally 'A little more and he's mi-NGH!"

Her eyes widened, unable to comprehend what was going on when it happened again, turning her head to gape at the hand that was currently feeling up her butt. "THIS AGAIN!" She snapped, rounding on the teen, only to shudder as more hands wrapped around her, trailing over her limbs like silk as she squirmed "D-DAMMIT! FIGHT FAIR YOU BASTARD!"

"Oh? And you call whatever the hell you turned into fair?" the brat replied in her ear, causing her to blush, chuckling as she squirmed "What, don't tell me you're ticklish?"

"B-bastard-!" Tayuya grit out, shuddering as the hands continued their subtle ministrations "Don't t-think you'll g-get away with-!"

"Away with …what?" her tormentor asked, smirking as her back arched, one of the hands having gone mining where the sun didn't shine "Well, aren't you going to answer me?"

Tayuya tried to open her moth but the only thing that escaped was a gasp, releasing the Nara's hand even as it grabbed her own, trailing it down between her thighs. "S-STOP!" the redhead demanded, only to gasp as the hand poking at her rear twitched, arching her back as she felt her eyes roll upward "D-don't…please…" she gasped "Stop or I'll…I'll…"

"You'll…what?" the leaf chunin asked, pressing her own fingers against herself, causing her to gasp again "Do you really think you're in any position to be making threats?" he moved his hand, causing her finger to move with it "After all you put me though, do you really think I'd listen?"

Tayuya felt her neck tilt back, a moan in her throat as the brat nuzzled it, eyes rolling back even as her back arched one final time, her hoarse cry filling the air as she collapsed against the kid, spent and drained…utterly.

"Per…vert…" she gasped out, shuddering even as the cursed seal deactivated, gripping at his chunin vest with trembling fingers "I'll…kill you…"

Shikamaru stumbled as she fell against him, collapsing with a grunt as his legs gave out, falling on his rear with his back to the tree, out of breath, chakra, and ideas. 'Damn that was cutting it close.' He muttered, reminding himself to thank his Oyaji and his library later 'Who knew that and old book like 'How to take down a kunoichi' still had it's uses?

What the Nara scion didn't know, and what the patriarch prayed his wife never found out, was that the book the teen had used to take down the sound kunoichi was actually a carefully disguised copy of one of Jiraiya's earlier novels, disguised under several layers of genjutsu and a carefully replaced cover. But the less the poor boy knew about this the better, and the less Mrs. Nara knew about her husband's choice of private reading material the better.

After all, Shikaku was still an active shinobi, and couldn't risk being hospitalized because his wife had found the stash and decided to try for a girl again.

"Taku…" Shikamaru muttered, trying to peel the unconscious kunoichi off him with a grimace "Even out cold she's such a pain." He slumped against a tree and sighed "Ah well…guess I'll get some rest."

And so he fell asleep, unaware of the figure watching him from behind a cluster of leaves, face flushed and one hand clutched between her soaking thighs.

--

And a little something new for those dissenters who dislike me sticking to Cannon.

Happy now? hope so! I know I am!

kakashi: And they call me perverted.

HEADSHOT!

Kyugan: (Lowers Colt Python) Damn, forget the kickback...ah well CLEANUP!

(Random Zombie walks in with a mop + bucket, starts mopping with a groan)

Kyugan: And get me a new mug! I'm out!

R&R!

* * *


	49. Chapter 49

And the pursuit continues.

Also, for those who asked, Naki-suna was indeed an inspiration, after all, we all know Shikamaru's a playboy.

Shikamaru: Medokuse, just because all my opponents thus far have been women...cept that one guy...

Kyugan: NO spoilers for you!

Seriously, if you don't like spoilers, buy the manga or at least read it before other people do.

* * *

Bone Dancer; Drunken Lotus!

"Well now…" a familiar raspy voice notes in mild amusement "To think he could still move with his body in that condition "I don't know what you said to him, but don't you think you were a bit cruel…Kabuto?"

"I gave no orders," the medic replied with a neutral expression "I'm not that fond of coercion." He regarded the figure on the chair with a small smile "He did it of his own volition…for the sake of the one he worships."

"Kabuto…"the figure chuckled, his face bandaged, only a single golden eye visible beneath the wrappings, the grey hair of his new host peeking through the top as he rested his chin on his left hand "You're despicable."

"Out of the entire sound five," Kabuto noted "Kimimaro alone was perfect, his thoughts immersed in darkness akin to your own, looking upon you as a deity, and worshiping you like a zealot." He frowned "In addition to that, he was the heir to a clan that possessed the most powerful bodies, inheriting all the abilities their bloodline granted…or at least he used to."

"Indeed…" the figure hissed sourly "It still makes my skin crawl when I think of how we lost him." He sighed "I admit, I still think that his was the body I longed for…the least likely to be destroyed…"

"Also," Kabuto noted "Had he not been struck down by disease, the assassination of the Sandaime would have gone of without issue…and you wouldn't have had to suffer this indignity."

"I have learned…" the figure noted darkly "that things rarely go as well as we'd planned…if at all."

Kabuto was silent, before bowing to the man "Rest assured," he offered placatingly "It is all a matter of time…Orochimaru-sama."

"Time…" the serpent hissed, gritting his teeth beneath the wrappings "How I hate that despised word…it seems I have all the time in the world, but then something happens to shorten it."

"I'll admit is was unexpected for the Sound 4 to be so late in returning." Kabuto admitted, actually concerned "Could they have run up against fierce opposition…or are they playing around again?"

"Kukukuku…" Orochimaru chuckled, closing his eyes in dark mirth "I'd assume the one that'd hamper their progress to either be that perpetually hungry Jiroubou…or Kidoumaru, who tends to play around with his prey too much."

"Heh," Kabuto agreed, "But the most troublesome of the bunch is Sakon, he wont rest until he's killed everyone in their way, he takes being the strongest of the four very seriously."

"Kukukuku…I don't know," Orochimaru noted wryly, "Tayuya's pretty vain herself…in any case, now that Kimimaro's there failure isn't possible." He smirked "He'll wipe out the trash, on their side…and ours."

"True," Kabuto admitted with a coy smirk "And he's hardly one to waste time talking either."

--

"Before we get to this," Naruto grit out coldly "tell me why the damn snake wants Sasuke so bad…last I checked he wasn't hurting for butt-monkeys."

"Orochimaru-sama has already mastered the art of immortality." Kimimaro replied, wondering what on earth a 'butt-monkey' was and when the master had acquired such a thing "But in order for him to acquire all the jutsu in the world he needs time."

"If he really is immortal then what the hell does he need Sasuke for?" Naruto shot back; looking annoyed "Don't tell me he just gets lonely on cold winter nights."

"Immortality doesn't necessarily refer to the longevity of the flesh." Kimimaro replied, a little confused at the blonde's comment "before his current body rots, he acquires a younger, stronger body to act as a vessel."

Naruto's eyes widened, before narrowing in anger as he grit his teeth "Bastard…he's gonna possess Sasuke's body?!"

"Correct," the sole surviving Kaguya admitted, readying himself as a bone sword extended creepily from his outstretched palm.

"I won't let that happen!" the blonde snapped, dashing forwards in a battojutsu stance, only to curse as the white haired freak deflected him, "Dammit! Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Kimimaro raised an eyebrow as the green field changed to gold, tinted with red, as if he'd stepped into a field of wheat in autumn "Hoh? Intriguing…" he raised another hand, an identical bone spike exiting his palm "Come."

The mass of blondes did so, at a speed that most would find daunting, their swords at the ready as they slashed upwards. Kimimaro leapt towards the main body with his arms circling, wiping out at least a half-dozen with one move. "Behold…" he called out, arms crossed before his face "Yanagi no mai!"

Even as the white haired man rushed through their ranks, the multitude of clones were striking out at him, to little or no avail as they were dispatched. Kimimaro would have passed it off as ignorance, were it not for the calculating look on their faces, right up to the moment they dissipated. He kicked upwards, impaling two clones with the blades protruding from his palms, only to blink as eight clones rushed him, four from above, four from below, in different stances respectively.

"Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu!" the upper clones called out, their blades descending point downwards, like wrathful bolts from heaven "RYUTSUISEN ZAN!"

"Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu!" the lower clones called out, rising upwards with their fists to the back of their blades, the sharp edge glinting in the sunlight "RYUSHOSEN!"

'I see…' Kimimaro noted calmy as the blades approached 'they were testing my defenses and believe that attacking me as I recover in mid-air will provide victory…pointless.'

In a blur, he jabbed outwards, two impaling themselves from the spears that extended from his shoulders, another two from the one jutting from his elbows. His knees claimed another two even as he pinned the last troublesome moth with the weapons in his hand, all but one dissipating the instant they were struck. "Shit…bones?" it choked out, coughing out blood even as Kimimaro landed, crouching like a panther before the onlookers.

"This…" the enigmatic man revealed "Is my Kekkei Genkai."

--

The real Naruto, standing amidst his clones in wonderment, watched as the man stood up, the bones receding back into his body. "Man…" he muttered, snorting derisively "I've heard of being 'boned' but you take the freaking cake." He grimaced as Kimimaro pulled out a sword of bone from his shoulder, the arm in question lying limp afterwards "Okay…seriously, we're into weird territory now."

Kimimaro didn't reply, he merely deflected the Shuriken that were hurled at him from the sidelines. "Useless." He pointed out, not even looking at the shattered weapons "My bones have been compressed to the absolute maximum density, making them as strong, if not stronger, than steel…no weapon can damage them."

"No point dulling my sword on you then." The blonde muttered, sheathing the weapon and popping his joints as he clenched his hands, "So your frame's pretty solid, bet your insides scramble just the same."

"Perhaps…" Kimimaro allotted "But I still have four of the five Kaguya clan's dances remaining…do not presume to know my powers simply from seeing one." He held the sword out, point first "Behold Tsubaki no mai!"

"Bring it on!" the multitude of blondes called out, even as Kimimaro lunged forwards, low to the ground and swiping at their feet like some demented weed whacker.

'Shit, this guy's something else.' Naruto noted, switching with his clones at random as he tried to read the flow of the man's rhythm "Offense and defense in one fluent style, and if we get too close he can just pop another rod out to ward us off.'

As this went on Kimimaro was decimating the ranks of clones, rotating swiftly and elegantly, indeed a fine example of how dancing served as the basis of combat. In the end, the field of gold had been reduced to a single kernel, the reaper standing with his aloof expression. In testament to the clone's skills, the fight had lasted a good ten minutes.

"And then there was one…" Kimimaro noted, turning to face Naruto, even as dark, ominous smoke erupted from the casket behind him "It would appear with your stalling the time has drawn nigh." He allotted, standing between the casket and the blonde "But no matter, this is but the first step to achieving Orochimaru-sama's design."

--

Naruto could only flinch as the casket erupted like a kettle that had sat for to long, steam and smoke drifting into the sky as a figure stood engulfed in it. He made to call out, only for a tremor to pass through him, eyes wide in disbelief at the foul stench that carried his way on the wind.

'What…the…?' he muttered, eyeing the white haired, dark skinned figure in Uchiha's familiar blue shirt and white shorts with an animalistic wariness 'Who the hell…that can't be…!'

"Sasuke!" he called out, blinking as the smoke cleared to reveal the Uchiha standing with his back to him, gazing at his own hands "What the hell're you doing looking at your hands for!? C'mon! We gotta beat feet back home before this guy's pals catch up!"

Sasuke's only response was to start chuckling, holding out his arms, shoulders shaking in dark mirth, something that caused the blonde's hackles to rise. 'That…doesn't feel like Sasuke…' he muttered, flashbacks of the last few weeks filling his mind 'I'll admit he didn't exactly change much over the last few weeks…' he glowered at the figures back 'but he didn't feel…like that…'

He blinked as Sasuke dashed off, cursing and moving to tail the Uchiha, only to blink as the shadow of death loomed behind him, all white haired, serpent loving diseased six foot four of him.

"Futile…" Kimimaro declared in his usual monotone as he stuck to decapitate "Regret your incompetence in death."

"KONOHA SENPUU!"

The Sole surviving Kaguya cursed as the force of the blow sent him back, his sharp reflexes allowing him to lessen the impact by leaping back just as the foot touched him. As it was, rather than being sent hurtling backwards, he skidded across the field, coming to a halt with his blade at the ready.

"Who?" he asked, eyeing the bizarre oddity before him with his usual calm demeanor; noting the larger-than-should-be-legal eyebrows and the distinct form fitting green leotard.

"The beautiful green beast of Konoha reincarnates!" the apparition called out, a bandaged hand held out to the man "I, Rock Lee, shall be your opponent!"

--

"Gejimayu?" Naruto wondered, eyeing the boy in confusion "Not that I don't appreciate the assist but…weren't you suspended from active duty for a while?"

"Tsunade-sama performed the operation to remove the bone fragments." The Gai-clone replied, "I'll explain later! Get to Sasuke!" he frowned at Kimimaro "Leave this one to me."

"Right, sure." Naruto noted, knowing the mission came first and Lee was much better at unarmed close quarters combat wither way "Just don't push it too hard. And watch yourself, this freak uses his bones as weapons."

"Bones?" Lee repeated, only to flinch as he caught the look in Kimimaro's eyes, his own settling in determination "I see…anything else?"

"He moves like some sort of demented Kabuki dancer," Naruto informed him, "He claims to have five dances, the first he charges in and impales you on spikes, the second he fights with that bone sword, swaying in a circle and dodging attacks…I haven't seen the other three."

Lee frowned, before thrusting out a hand, thumb up "I understand! Go now!" he ordered the blonde "Sasuke can't have gone far!"

"Lee…" Naruto asked, tone somber as he eyed the older teen's back with concern "On the way here…did you see Neji or Chouji?"

"No…" Lee replied grimly "But then, I was traveling so fast I very nearly set off a few traps that were waiting for me." He thrust out an arm, giving the stunned blonde a thumbs-up "Do not worry! I swear on the 'nice guy' pose that I shall defeat this foe and come assist you!"

Naruto blinked, then smirked, "Right…you got this one Gejimayu." He agreed, turning on his heel "When we get back…lunch is on me!"

"YOSH!" Lee called, rushing towards the charging Kimimaro even as Naruto took to the chase once more.

--

"If Sasuke was in that casket…"Raido noted, sitting up in his hospital bed as he regarded the Godaime tiredly "against foes like that…a handful of genin won't be enough."

"We may have been low on chakra…" Genma allotted with a grunt "But look at the state we JOUNIN are in…at the very least, we should send a team of jounin as back up."

"That can't be done." Tsunade replied "In the aftermath of Orochimaru's invasion, Konoha lost its mandate as a primary power amongst the other Shinobi nations. All our Jounin and high level chunin were sent to neutralize potential threats, both at home AND abroad." She sighed "Even if Orochimaru obtains the sharingan…Konoha's priority is to avoid wars with other nations."

"But we can't keep putting off the situation with Orochimaru…" Raido insisted earnestly "The second he regains his strength-!"

"I'm well aware of the situation." Tsunade replied with a confident smirk "And have already taken precautionary measures." She blinked as a medic opened the door, followed by gasping as Maito Gai collapsed before her, looking Haggard "Gai! What happened?!" she asked "Was the mission-?!"

"Complete…!" Gai rasped, "And I ran…all the way back afterwards…!" he gaped up at the woman desperately "But tell me…LEE! Was the operation-?!"

He trailed off as Tsunade put a hand on his shoulder, looking up into her smiling face desperately. "A complete success," the Shodai's granddaughter assured the man "he can return to training tomorrow, provided he takes it easy for a while."

Genma and Raido flinched as Gai burst into tears of joy where he lay, smiling in bliss as cherubs and angles sang around him, only to wince in sympathy as Ino and Sakura burst into the room, informing Tsunade that Lee had gone missing.

Needless to say, the tears suddenly weren't so joyous, and quite a few cherubs were complaining of snapped harp strings.

--

"Shit…" Tsunade muttered, standing before the vacated bed that had held her most recent patient "He probably snuck out while I was busy tending to Raido and Genma."

"I'm sorry…" Yanagi offered with a sniff, looking distraught "He sent me out to get him something to drink and when I came back…"

"Baka…" Tsunade groused, flinching as the girl sobbed "Not you Yanagi, that stupid kid's gone after the team we sent after Sasuke." she looked to the bedside table in annoyance "On top of that, he was so much in a hurry he took my Sake bottle instead of his medicine."

Gai, who had been gazing at the bed grimly for the past few minutes, suddenly went ramrod straight, eyeing the godaime with a look of shock and dawning horror 'SAKE?!' he repeated, sounding half choked, before swallowing nervously "This is…bad…!"

"Gai?" Tsunade asked, looking at the Taijutsu specialist in confused concern as he started trembling "Are you okay?" she asked, even as he turned to her, face grim and terrified.

Very little terrified Maito Gai, some would say this was because of his skill as a shinobi and Kakashi's rival, others claimed his skull was too dense to let the fear penetrate. Either way, for something to affect the man this much…Tsunade didn't feel like facing it sober.

"If lee drinks even one drop of sake…" Gai recounted shakily "TERRIBLE things will happen!"

--

"KONOHA DAI SENPUU!" Lee called out, striking out at Kimimaro's legs, only for the older man to leap up to avoid it, he followed through with a jumping spinning kick to the midriff, only for the man to somehow back off to avoid it.

And so the dance went on, Lee striking out repeatedly with blows that, by all accounts, should have sent the man reeling right into coma territory, and Kimimaro weaved round them, ducking and sidestepping, neither striking back nor blocking the strikes, flowing like reeds in the wind.

"Your agility surprises me…" Lee noted admirably, face grim as he got to his feet swiftly "And your style is both precise and fluid."

"You by contrast…" Kimimaro noted with his usual monotone calm "Are far too linear…too direct." He frowned slightly "Shall we?"

"Just a moment!" Lee called out, holding out his hand to stall his opponent "I apologize, but it is time for my medicine." He pulled a bottle from his pouch, popping the cork with a grimace "I've never been one for medicine but…" he took several large chugs, releasing the bottle and gasping in disgust "Blech, this one's the worst yet!"

Kimimaro, who was only alive thanks to the disgusting concoctions that Kabuto had fed him daily, couldn't help but feel a little connection with the bizarre genin. That is, until he stated swaying from side to side.

--

"After he mastered the Ura Renge…" Gai recalled "I took lee to a restaurant to celebrate." He held up his hand, finger and thumb nearly touching "At some point…he mistook the sake in my bowl for water and downed it…and then all hell broke loose!"

"Hell?" Tsunade repeated, wondering if Gai was exaggerating JUST a little, only to blink as he began to shiver, a cold sweat on his face that caused Yanagi to hug Sakura in terror.

"When I awoke…" Gai continued "it was like waking up in a disaster zone. Whenever Lee gets drunk…" he eyed the godaime "He goes absolutely berserk!"

Tsunade blinked, even as Gai shook in mild terror at the obviously not so repressed memory, Sakura fighting for breath as Yanagi started to whimper at the look on the man's face.

"Consequentially…" the Taijutsu master noted grimly "It turns out lee…is a natural practitioner of Sui-Ken!"

--

'What…in heavens name…' Kimimaro deadpanned, eyeing the stumbling, foul-mouthed youth before him flatly 'did that boy drink?'

"WHAD'DYA LOOKIN' AT FREAK?!" Lee slurred out, cheeks flushed and eyes half shut, staggering all over the place even as he glared at the man. "QUIT LOOKIN' DOWN'YER NOSE'T ME! I'LL KICK YER ASSES! ALL SEVEN OF YAS!"

'Is he drunk?' Kimimaro wondered, looking over the boy 'Sake? What kind of hospital prescribes sake as a medicine?'

He quickly tossed those thoughts, and the stirring feelings of jealousy, out the window as Lee charged him, twisting and contorting in mid-strike in ways that defied logic, and would most likely hurt like hell later on. The Kaguya survivor was actually surprised to find himself blocking the odd strike, blinking as the youth grabbed his sleeve and bodily dragged him off balance, following it up with a kick to the midriff that sent the man flying. Not letting up for a second, the drunken beast spun forward in a horizontal rendition of the Omote Renge, sans bandages, gripping the grass with his hands as he launched numerous kicks at his opponent from a handstand.

'Too hard to predict!' Kimimaro noted in mild alarm 'And moreover…too FAST!' he raised his sword to deflect the blows, kicking at the boy's arms only for him to roll to safety. "Tsubaki no mai!" he called out, thrusting forwards with the weapon in an attempt to skewer his opponent, only for Lee to weave through the strikes with random movements and the occasional belch, the last maneuver leaving him with his back arched, hear lowered towards the ground.

Kimimaro, ever one to seize an opportunity, swiped at the genin's neck, only for Lee to stand upright, staggering back into him and looping his arm over the man's own, deflecting the sword with his free hand, striking at the Kaguya's side, only to be blocked, following it up with a rear kick to the crotch, which was avoided. Lee spun with a backhand strike, only for Kimimaro to strike out with a leg sweep. The drunken genin trapped the man's leg in a hold, gripping him tightly as he spun, delivering an awkward, double blow to his torso with the extended knuckles of his right fist and left elbow, sending Kimimaro sprawling, actually dropping the bone sword.

'I can't read his moves.' Kimimaro noted grimly, getting to his feet as he pulled off his upper kimono 'such an unpredictable art…to actually land a blow on me…'

His left arm popped and cracked, the lower part dangling halfway as the bones reformed, hand cracking back into place even as his Gaiafuuin spread across him like thorns. "Shikotsumyaku, my Kekkei Genkai" He revealed, holding up his reformed arm, even as bones burst through the skin like spears "Didn't your shadow clone friend inform you earlier?"

He rushed the drunken teen, blocking with his free arm even as he struck out with the spiked one Lee deflecting both and attempting to get in close again, only for Kimimaro's ribs to burst out like knives, scraping the youth's cheek and barely missing blinding him.

"You are not the only one that is unpredictable." Kimimaro stated flatly, eyeing the teen impassively "Seems you've sobered up a bit…" he noted "My Kekkei Genkai enables complete control over my Osteoblasts and Osteoclasts, the cells that form and break down bone." He nodded "With them, I can regulate the density of calcium to manipulate the formation of bones."

--

'Bones?' Lee repeated, still somewhat out of things but coherent enough to understand what was being said…to a degree. Genius at Taijutsu or not, he was no medic nin.

"The human body is composed of just over 200 bones." Kimimaro revealed flatly "I however…am not so limited." Additional rib spikes burst from his chest, even as Lee attempted to rush him from behind "Pointless…Karamatsu no mai!"

Lee could only gape as the man doubled over, several bones bursting from his skin like some sort of demonic porcupine, raising an arm to block even as he felt them pierce the skin. He leapt back, even as Kimimaro swatted at him, the worst of the blows deflected by the youth's strong arms as he rolled along the grass, only to climb groggily to his feet.

"Still awake?" Kimimaro asked "Or should I say…have you roused at last?"

Lee grimaced, wincing as he head pounded like a temple bell. "Why do I feel like I've been up all night?" the youth muttered, staggering upright "No matter…the real fight begins now!"

He grimaced, feeling the ache in his muscles that had accumulated during his drunken rampage, not that he was aware of it. 'Right now, my job is to hold him off for as long as possible, at least until Naruto-kun reaches Sasuke-kun.' He winced 'I should avoid using techniques that would backfire on me.' He began unwrapping his bandages 'I'm only out of surgery, and even with Yanagi-san's prior healing I shouldn't go crazy…but perhaps opening Kaimon should do!'

He exploded into motion, a trail of dust encircling the impassive Kimimaro, who noted, dimly, that the dust trail was getting smaller and smaller with each rotation.

"KURAEI!" Lee called out, blurring right in front of the man, first gate bursting open even as he aimed a kick at his opponent's chin "OMOTE RENGE-!"

C-CRACK!

Silence reigned over the clearing as Lee gaped in horror at the sight of his foot imprisoned by his opponent's ribs, the bones having effectively captured him like the most gruesome bear trap imaginable.

"You speed is impressive." Kimimaro noted, regarding the stunned youth before him with an indifferent expression, even as he extended a palm towards his startled face "However…this is the end."

Lee's eyes widened as a bone burst from the man's palm, only to yelp as something exploded between them, pulling him free of the rib-trap and depositing him at someone's feet on a bed of…sand?

"Who…are you?" Kimimaro asked, eyeing this new opponent warily "Where did you come from."

--

"Yo…" Shikamaru called out, still holding the comatose redhead, cracking an eye open to look at the foliage "how long you gonna skulk around back there?"

There was a gasp, followed by a familiar face stepping into view, her face flushed and her fan held before her as she readjusted the bottom of her outfit. "Yare-yare…" The Nara muttered, "If you're gonna get off on the show at least do it were you won't disrupt people's naps." He shot the mortified figure an intrigued look "So what, you here to finish things from the exam?"

"Not exactly," Temari muttered, standing forward with some of her old confidence "We were sent to help you as allies of the leaf…

--

Kiba grimaced as he tried to catch the scent of the twins, sighing in relief as he realized they were walking AWAY from his position. "I'm safe." he breathed, relaxing slightly.

"Who's safe?" a mocking voice asked, causing the Inuzuka to whip round to find himself face to face with Ukon, who was wearing the teen's own jacket "Feh, I knew it, you ignore you own scent since it's so familiar.

"So you know how scent works." Kiba noted, gasping for breath as he smirked "Little wonder I couldn't track you…and then there's the way you guys split up…shit, and here I thought I'd finally gotten a break."

"You wanna break? Sure, which limb?" Ukon growled, raising a Kunai "Better yet, How's about I snap your balls off for that stunt you pulled back there!"

Kiba braced himself, only to blink as something rattled into view, taking the hit for him and confusing the living fuck out of Sakon. 'Heh…' he noted, smirking as someone stepped into view 'So he's an ally this time?'

"Who the fuck are you?!" Ukon snarled only for a figure in a cat suit to step forward, chakra strings glowing along his finger.

"You opponent for the remainder of the evening." Kankurou replied with a smirk "A shinobi of…"

--

"Suna." Gaara replied, face as neutral as he stood over the stunned Taijutsu specialist, arms crossed as he leveled a look at the equally emotionless Kimimaro that would have made many a man reconsider his career choices.

'Sand?' Lee stammered, watching it fall between his fingers 'Am I still out of it…?' he wondered, trailing off at the sight of his rescuer "Sabaku no Gaara."

"So you're Gaara…" Kimimaro noted, having been kept up to date on the invasion plan despite his illness, crossing his arms before separating them sharply "TESHISENDAN!"

The finger bullets collided with Gaara's shield of sand, drilling right through, only to fall harmlessly to the floor at the redhead's feet. "Too hasty." Gaara opined, eyeing the impassive Kaguya with an equally impassive glare, before turning his head to regard Lee "When we last fought…" he noted quietly "your moves were faster, and had a sharper edge to them."

Lee blinked, before rising to his feet with a grunt "Thanks for reminding me." he muttered, smiling good naturedly "Not that I hold a grudge, that wouldn't be youthful, but you really put me through hell for a while." He eyed the redhead carefully "That said, why are you here?"

"I owe Konoha…" Gaara began, looking at the older genin over his shoulder with eyes that seemed almost human, compared to the indifference he'd held for his fellow man before "A tremendous debt."

--

And so things reach a crescendo.

Will Gaara defeat kimimaro? Shall Kankurou's Puppet show ensnare the brothers Kon?

And just what was Temari up to during Shikamaru's...fight...with Tayuya?

Jiraiya: What indeed...

Kyugan: Pervert.

Jiraiya: Like you're one to talk!

Kyugan: True, but then, YOU don't have the power to do THIS! (Snbaps fingers)

Jiraiya: What? So you snapped your, HEY! Why's my voice so high?! (Looks down, is now a woman...) HEY...I can look at myself!

Kyugan: And people say 'I' need help...

R&R or be gender bender'd!

* * *


	50. Chapter 50

It suddenly dawned on me that I'm reaching the end of this little saga, and frankly, that one little fact scares the crap out of me.

Kakashi: You still haven't finished the others you know.

Kyugan: Shut up! the mojo for this one flowed a lot easier alright?!

Kakashi: Forgive me! (covers face and balls, only to blink) huh? you're not gonna hurt me?

Kyugan: Naw...you're expecting it (turns away) It's no fun if you're expecting it.

Kakashi: Sadist.

Kyugan: Here, make yourself useful (Tosses Kakashi a book)

Kakashi: (lets book drop to the floor, when it doesn't explode, he sends a clone to pick it up) Wonder what this is?

The clone opens the book, reads a few lines, sole eye bulging in horror before poofing out of existence, Kakashi's eye bulging as the information was imprinted into his brain.

Kyugan: (Smirks as Kakashi falls to the ground, screaming and clawing at his eye,) Yami choco, boko no s-beep-al h-beep-ment edition. (Shudder) sometimes I even scare myself...

* * *

Return of the sand trio; the chase ends!

"So you're an ally huh?" Shikamaru noted, beckoning the blonde Suna kunoichi forwards "Then do me a favor and get her off me? I think my ass is falling asleep."

Temari flushed, hiding it with a growl as she grabbed the redhead and pulled her off the chunin easily, slinging her over her shoulder with a grunt "Well? Don't think you're getting a free lift too." She growled, tilting her head slightly "Get off your ass and follow me."

'Strong as a rhino,' Shikamaru muttered, eyeing her retreating back nervously 'And scarier than my mom…' he trailed off, pausing in his attempted to get to his feet as he got a good look up the girl's skirt as she turned her back to him, 'Then again…'

Temari noticed the Nara's trail of vision and flushed, fighting down the urge to bean him over the head with her fan or, as the case may be, her unconscious captive. For one thing he looked kind of cute with that doe eyed expression, and the other, well, it was her fault for not bringing a spare set of pants.

'He's pretty good with his hands, corporeal and otherwise.' She noted wryly, shooting him an evaluating look 'And he's not that bad looking…'

True, as the Kazekage's daughter, she'd had many potential suitors from several people, including, shudder, several people many years older than herself. And as the Kazekage's daughter, she had, of course, been allowed to skip out on those lessons at the academy involving the…kunoichi arts, something she didn't feel she needed anyway, she was a warrior, not a spy or a poisoner, she was quite content on the front lines, not dressed up like some geisha in a lords bedroom.

Though after seeing the Nara take down the obviously stronger Oto kunoichi with just a little foreplay, the Suna kunoichi had been hard pressed not to leap in and join the fun. 'Time and a place for all that.' She noted, smirking to herself as she readjusted her prize to a more comfortable position, 'who knows, maybe I'll take a vacation after we get back…a nice…LONG vacation.'

Shikamaru shivered as he caught the blonde looking at him and made a mental note to avoid women like the plague for a few days, quite forgetting he still lived with his parents.

--

"A puppet huh?" Ukon noted, glaring at Karasu as it retuned to its master, glaring at Kankurou loathingly over the sound of clattering joints.

"Hey," Kiba called out to the puppeteer, a curious frown on his face "Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't there three of you last time?"

"The others went on ahead," Kankurou shot back with a grunt "Taku…you brats need all the help you can get if weaklings like this pushed you around."

"Aho…" Kiba shot back with a grim smirk "Don't go underestimating them or you'll-!" he trailed off as he caught the smirk on Ukon's face "BEHIND YOU!"

Kankurou whirled round, cursing as he blocked the gauntleted arm of Sakon, as the demonic twin burst through the foliage in his level 2 state, clamping onto the teen's head. "Sakon!" the untransformed twin called out, waving at the allies with a smirk "I'm leaving them in your hands, finish it!"

"Watch out!" Kiba barked, recognizing the look in the twins' eyes and their intentions "He's gonna enter your body and fuse with it!"

"Too late!" Sakon cackled, fingers sliding into Kankurou's face, only to freeze as the teen smirked "Shit…this guy!" he snarled, even as the teen's arms held him in place, Ukon and Kiba gaping as 'Kankurou' dissolved into sand, revealing another puppet, even as the real puppeteer chuckled.

"Looks like your jutsu doesn't work too well on puppets." The middle sand sibling noted with a smirk "and just so you know…Sand Ninja aren't so easily brushed aside as Leaf ninja…and straying too close to Kuro-Ari…" he twitched his fingers, Sakon's blood and screams filling the air "Is suicide."

Sakon slumped to the ground, multiple lacerations lining his body, slowly shifting out of his cursed form even as Kankurou directed the puppet to attack Ukon. The remaining twin grit his teeth and dodged at the last second, shifting to level two as he absorbed his brother. "Damn…let my guard down…" Sakon stammered weakly "Lemme rest my body for a bit."

"You're so damn pathetic." Ukon growled, only to smirk at their opponents as he slowly shifted back to normal form. "Sure he caught you off guard…but to concede defeat to some damn puppet?!"

"What in the hell's up with these guys?" Kankurou asked, a little unnerved by what he'd seen, flinching at Kiba's words even as the horns seeped away, scowling as Ukon continued to insult his puppets.

'I'm running low on chakra.' The active twin noted, after patting his healed stomach wound 'Still plenty left to shred these two…' he grunted 'Not usually the one in control of the main body…crap, this is really hard to move.'

"Hey," Kankurou called out, smirking as everyone turned to regard him, secretly revelling in all the attention "you guys underestimating me?"

"You can't fight these guy's head-on!" Kiba warned the Suna teen, recognizing that look in his eyes "We should retreat for now and-!"

"Retreat?" Kankurou repeated, not quite spitting the word as he twitched his fingers "I'm really being underestimated here aren't I?"

Ukon grimaced as Karasu lunged towards him, rattling madly with its mouth open. He leapt back, only to curse as Kuro-Ari reared up behind him, the chest cavity opening wide to catch him, shutting tight with a snap.

"Kuro-Ari isn't an offensive puppet." Kankurou lectured his captive audience "It was designed to act in tandem with Karasu by retraining the opponents…" he nodded as Karasu's body separated, poisoned blades popping out at joints "That's when Karasu, the counterpart, is used to attack."

He smirked, spreading his arms wide, even as Ukon cursed at him from inside his puppet prison, unaware of the multiple blades aimed at him "Please enjoy my Kurasori Engeki!" he taunted, before crossing his arms, the threads taught "Kuro Higikiki: IPPATSU!"

Kiba could only wince as the poisoned blades jabbed into Kuro-Ari, eliciting screams from the occupants, which grew steadily weaker, before finally dying off, blood trailing from the cracks and slots like some gruesome iron maiden, even as Kankurou smirked.

"Finis."

--

Gaara and Lee stood facing their opponent, Lee moving into a ready stance, even as Gaara noted the wounds on the older teen's arm, which were still bleeding. "I'll handle this." The redhead noted, startling Lee, only for the recovering teen to frown.

"No," Lee insisted, stepping around the sand jinchuuriki determinedly "Please back me up instead." He trailed off as Gaara's san caught his foot, sending him face first into the grass "I said BACK me up, not TRIP me up!" he yelled; only to flinch as his wounds flared up.

"You're in no shape to fight." Gaara stated, stepping forwards even as his sand flowed back into the gourd "I'll handle this."

"Sabaku no Gaara." Kimimaro noted, eyeing the gourd on the youth's back with his impassive stare "As your moniker suggests, you use sand."

"He attacks with his bones!" Lee called out to his apparent ally "He can throw them like before or jut them out of his body, any way he pleases!"

'Not all that different from my sand.' Gaara noted with a frown, the sand whirling agitatedly out of his gourd as he eyed his opponent warily.

'That sand defends him like a reef…' Kimimaro noted, recalling the information he had on the boy and what he'd witnessed himself 'This boy…is no close range fighter.' He frowned, readying more finger bullets 'Approaching will prove a trial.'

He flinched, leaping out of the path of a wave of sand and hurling his finger bones at the redhead, only for a wall of sand to defend against it. Weaving under and around the animated sand he continued to test the boy's defenses, and found them as unfaltering as the boy's impassive stare 'Offense and defense in one package.' He noted 'However, that gourd no doubt signifies the amount of sand he keeps about his person.'

"Sabaku no Gaara…" he repeated, decidedly unimpressed "A stage name and nothing more…useless without your sand, and oh so easy to determine the amount."

"Suna Shigure." Gaara muttered flatly, sand he'd sent to the sky descending on his foe, even as he restrained the man's feet with another wave he'd hidden underground "Maybe so," he allotted, "But so long as I have sand, I can do anything." He frowned, gripping the man's legs so tight he could hear the creaking of his joints "Foolish am I?" he repeated "Creating additional sand from soil and earth is a small task for me."

He twitched his fingers, the sand enveloping Kimimaro utterly, eliciting a cry from Rock Lee as he celebrated his victory. "Not yet," the redhead countered, clenching his fist to compress the sand "SABAKU SOUSOU!"

--

A few squirts of blood erupted from the mound, earning a frown from the redhead, who was NOT used to his trademark technique failing in any form. He glared as a hand pushed through a bloody patch of sand, followed by the rest of Kimimaro, whose seal had spread to encompass his whole body, coupling with the missing patches of flesh and skin to make him resemble of 3D anatomical jigsaw model.

"More bones…" Gaara noted grimly, though his features didn't change an inch from their usual deadpan stare "A real monster this one."

"What…pressure…" Kimimaro applauded between gasps, his teeth and left jawbone visible through the gaping hole in his cheek "Had I not created this layer of bone beneath my skin I'd have been crushed." He eyed Gaara warily "I underestimated you…but your sand will never catch me again."

Gaara frowned, widening his stance even as he clapped his hands together, as if in prayer, Chakra and sand surging out from him as he glared at his opponent. "Ryusabakuryu!" the redhead growled out, face and gaze impassive, even as a veritable tidal wave of Sand towered over Kimimaro, who was hard pressed escaping the wave upon wave of clutching sand, which finally claimed him, and a large portion of the forest behind him, dragging him beneath the surface.

"You got him!" Lee exclaimed, only to blink as Gaara stepped forward, slapping both hands into the newly formed patch of desert.

"SABAKU TAISOU!"

A shockwave rushed through the sand, trees collapsing as their bases were crushed, the entire area pressurizing and contracting savagely. Lee gaped at the sight in amazement, before regarding his onetime opponent in awe. 'Incredible…' he muttered 'He's even more powerful…than the last time we fought…just like everyone else…'

"Doesn't this guy know when to give up?" Gaara muttered suddenly, causing the Gai-clone to blink, looking out to espy a shadowy figure rising from the sands, half hidden by a fallen tree. Summoning more sand, the redhead clenched his fists as tightly as possible "Sabaku Kyuu!"

The sand gathered around the form tightly, but before it could compress a dark skinned monstrosity burst from it, bone pikes growing from it's back, a tail jutting out from the base of it's spine as it dashed towards them like some prehistoric demon, only the hair revealing it's former identity.

'What happened to his body?!' Lee gaped, watching as Gaara raised a wall of sand between them and the transformed Kimimaro, only to gape as the transformed nin smashed through it with brute force alone, sending Gaara flying.

--

"Is this all there is to your vaunted 'absolute defense'?" Kimimaro asked, eyeing the form before him with his golden, demonic eyes "What a joke." He blinked, looking up as Gaara's face began to crack, pieces falling off like broken pottery to reveal his unmarred skin below. "I see…so you'd coated yourself with sand since the start."

"Forget something?!" Lee yelled out, swinging into action from behind the monster, aiming a kick at his head "He's not your only opponent!"

The kick collided with one of the spikes protruding from Kimimaro's shoulder, the Otonin swinging his tail to strike the teen, only for a cushion of sand to come between them, carrying Lee out of reach of the monster and depositing him on the ground.

"That sand of yours is beginning to grow irksome." Kimimaro growled, the first signs of irritation, or any emotion in general, since the start of the battle "It seems the first to die will be you…Gaara."

He reached to his back, the skin parting with a sickening 'shluck' as he gripped a bone from the base of his neck, pulling it out with a disgusting noise to reveal a sword composed from a spinal column. "Tessenka no mai!" he called out, lashing out at Gaara even as Lee gaped at his back in horror "Vine!"

Gaara erected a coccoon of sand around himself, only for the spine-weapon to curl around him like a whip, digging in deep and holding the redhead in place as Kimimaro raised his free hand. "Hana!" the Kaguya called out, massive bone spikes forming around his arm to form a drill-like structure "These are the thickest bones in my body…" he stated flatly "They will pierce your body, along with that pathetic shield of sand."

Even as he spoke the transformed Kaguya coughed, blood trailing from his lips as he glared at the redhead that was impeding his mission. 'It would seem my time's running short…' he muttered, breathing a little heavier than before, even as Gaara scowled, the sand surging around the whip as a large, tanuki-like figure in a priest's hat formed before him, arms outstretched.

"Saikou Zettai Bougyo: Shukaku no Tate!" Gaara called out, glaring at the monstrosity coldly "You may have the 'ultimate spear'…" he allotted, "But nothing can pierce my 'ultimate shield'."

--

"Kabuto…" Orochimaru called out calmly, eyeing his servant as he frittered about doing God only knew what "How much longer will Kimimaro last?"

"For the moment, he should be fine for a while yet." Kabuto replied, "I treated his body as best I could, but without his clan's medical history, there's little much I can do." He eyed his master "All I could dig up was the account of how he became the last of the Kaguya clan…how the whole lot challenged the combined military might of Kirigakure on their own."

"The Kaguya clan was a group of outdated warmongers who could only appreciate death and combat." Orochimaru replied mockingly "Only on the battlefield could they find any form of peace." He chuckled "But in these times of peace, such savagery was no longer in demand, and to challenge an organized military force with brute strength alone…like cattle to the slaughter."

"And yet…" Kabuto reminded his master, eyeing him from the edge of the light cast by the sole candle "you deemed it a waste to simply let him die off."

"Heh…who wouldn't have wanted that Kekkei Genkai?" the serpent snorted, gripping his chair limb "An impenetrable skeletal frame which can resist any physical attack…bones which could instantly be changed to the sharpest spear point…"

--

Lee sat, a silent witness of the battle between these two colossal shinobi titans, both of which he had fought, to no apparent avail. 'Gaara-kun's Suna no Tate is without a doubt an ultimate defense,' he noted grimly 'it takes only one fight for anyone to know that.' He eyed the newly formed statue of sand and clenched his fist. 'And while the shape is awkward, the density of the sand has most likely increased! There's no way that monster and reach him!'

Even as he spoke, Kimimaro lunged forward, driving the tip of his 'ultimate spear' into the belly of Gaara's 'ultimate shield', sand erupting from the structure as the transformed Kaguya pressed forwards, striving to pierce through and impale the troublesome jinchuuriki, eyes glaring at him from around the side of the structure.

An audible cracking noise started up, Kimimaro's scowl deepening as his 'flower' developed cracks, shattering under the pressure and revealing the bare bone and muscle of his arm, even as sand wrapped around him.

"I gathered the strongest minerals from the soil, used my chakra to pressurize them and kneaded them into my sand." Gaara explained, holding the annoyed monster's gaze impassively "That move of yours…a Kekkei Genkai?"

"Indeed," Kimimaro allotted, his face emotionless "The Kaguya Clan's Shikotsumyaku…" he frowned "I alone possess this ability."

"So you're the last of your clan…" Gaara noted flatly, "Which means that the clan perishes today…along with those annoying bones of yours."

"That may be so…" Kimimaro agreed "My body is ravaged with illness…my days were numbered before this fight began…" he turned grim "And yet…I will not be extinguished, for I am not alone."

He looked into the redhead's eyes, absolute certainty in his gaze "While I am but an arm of Orochimaru-sama's, I performed my duties for his aspirations." He stood tall "As such, I will remain in Orochimaru-sama's heart forever."

Gaara was silent for a moment, processing what he had heard before sighing, as if disappointed with the man. "More of Orochimaru's brainwashing…" the redhead muttered, almost pityingly "How unfortunate...you have my condolences."

Kimimaro blinked at the teen's words, and would have replied were it not for the fact he was currently sinking into the writhing sands beneath him.

--

'I've used to many big moves,' Gaara noted, hands in the rat seal as he focused on sinking his opponent 'Chakra's running low, have to finish this NOW.'

Kimimaro struggled, only for his entire body to be pulled into the sands, glaring up at his foe impassively "Formidable indeed…" he muttered, even as he sank beneath the sands.

"I'll drag you down and bury you 200m below the surface." Gaara stated, as he match the monster glare for glare "With so much pressure from the sand on every inch of your body, you won't be able to move a finger."

Kimimaro's glare was cut off as he sank beneath the sands, which continued to writhe and swirl about as their master continued to press down on it, not letting up until he sensed no movement at all.

"You…you did it…" Lee exclaimed, eyeing the silent battlefield from where he crouched on the patch of sand Gaara had used to shield him "This time you really did it."

Gaara was silent, eyeing the patch of sand before him suspiciously, too used to being ambushed but confident in the fact that NOTHING could claw it's way out of THIS particular grave, not even one of Orochimaru's puppets.

"…Mai…" a voice echoed, the teens' eyes widening as they realized it was Kimimaro's, rising from the depths beneath them like some vengeful ghost "…Sawarabi no mai…"

The two allies could only gape in shock as numerous bone spikes burst from the ground, tearing up the grass and sand and stabbing towards the sky, their eyes widening as the projectiles made right for them.

--

"Shouldn't he be here by now?" Orochimaru demanded, eyeing the candle before him with a cold, serpentine air "I'm getting impatient."

"Now, now…" Kabuto offered placatingly, though making sure he was out of range of a retaliatory strike "you know what they say, a watched kettle never boils."

"Kabuto…" Orochimaru warned, eye glinting with malice as he glared at the silver-haired medic warningly "Do NOT patronize me."

"My apologies." The medic offered humbly "it's just…Orochimaru-sama…as your greatest servant, it doesn't matter who or what stands in his way, NOTHING could overcome Kimimaro."

Orochimaru was silent, eyeing the candle before him as if it were an hourglass, the flame flickering in an unseen breeze.

--

'Am I…dying?' Kimimaro wondered, eyes open but unable to see, ears hearing nothing but the sound of his own, echoing heartbeat and the rustling of the seal as it dimmed 'is this it…was I able to complete…my mission?'

An image of Sasuke dashing towards the woods entered his mind, the teen's laughter echoing in his thoughts.

'The vessel…survived the cursed seal.' He noted, a sense of relief filling his being as he felt his heart slow, only to frown as he recalled the blonde youth with the clones 'He was strong…and determined to bring the vessel back' he growled 'Damn the other four…how could they have failed in such a manner?'

_"…tell me why the damn snake wants Sasuke so bad…"_ the blonde's voice echoed in his mind _"last I checked he wasn't hurting for butt-monkeys."_

'Disrespectful wretch…' the Kaguya growled, not registering the blonde's words, but the insult to Orochimaru 'how dare he speak so brazenly of Orochimaru-sama!'

_"Do not worry!"_ Lee's voice added to the cacophony _"I swear on the 'nice guy' pose that I shall defeat this foe and come assist you!"_

'Not only him…that odd youth dared to consider me a stepping stone.' The Kaguya noted, ire rising 'I! Orochimaru-sama's most devoted follower!'

_"More of Orochimaru's brainwashing…"_ Gaara's voice muttered, the redhead's voice sounding oddly pitying, which only rubbed salt in the man's wounds _"How unfortunate...you have my condolences."_

'How dare they…!' Kimimaro growled, eyes snapping open in a golden glow as the seal reasserted itself, the corrosive fire burning away as his body as he struggled against the bonds that held him 'How DARE they?!'

--

"You…saved me…" Lee gasped, crouching on a floating cloud of sand "I never imagined you could do something amazing like this."

"It's just the sand I always carry around with me." Gaara replied "Switching roles and letting It do the work is just a matter of imagination."

They looked down, eyeing the forest of bones that had sprung up beneath them with exhausted trepidation. "He was a formidable opponent," Gaara allotted, eyeing the faint traces of sand between the growths "but that's the last of him, there's no way in hell he can get out of that alive."

**_"It's not brainwashing…"_** a familiar voice growled out, the duo spinning round in disbelief to gape at the figure that had formed from one of the bones, a second 'flower' spear forming on his right arm **"It's all my own reasoning!"** He lunged forwards, eyes glowing demonically as he screamed at them, rage and hatred in his voice **_"WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW?!"_**

Gaara and Lee blocked with their arms, a feeble amount of sand rising halfway in an attempt to block for them whilst maintaining the clouds, only to blink, lowering their arms in confusion when the blow of rage failed to come. They looked up at the silent form before them, face frozen in his final scream as it hardened to become a piece of the bone he'd grown out of, red mercury falling from his lips to the floor below.

"He's dead." Gaara noted, eyeing the fallen Kaguya carefully, reaching out and attempting to close the man's eyes only to flinch, pulling back as if stung "Bone."

Lee flinched, nodding towards a patch on trees that had escaped the mass deforestation of Gaara's avalanche.

--

In the serpent's lair, the sole candle flame suddenly extinguished, eliciting a snort from Orochimaru as he looked into the darkness with his serpentine glare. "I couldn't give a shit what happens to Kimimaro anymore." He hissed, tossing all thoughts of the youth from his mind "He means nothing to me now…Sasuke-kun is the one I'm waiting for."

Orochimaru's gaze intensified, so much so the gold of his eyes glowed menacingly as Kabuto attempted to relight the candle "He will come to me…" the serpent stated, confidence in his tone "and I shall make every attempt to see that happens!"

--

Gaara and lee lay where they had fallen, their backs to the trees as they tried to catch their breath, completely spent after their battle with Orochimaru's most loyal, so easily forgotten, subordinate. Had they taken the time to notice, they might have seen the sole flower that grew at the base of the tusk he'd become a part of, bathed in the man's blood.

"He had us." Gaara panted, eyes shut as he gathered his wits about him "A second more and we'd have been the ones lying face up."

"That's not true…" Lee opined, looking at the redhead as he spoke "My sensei always tells me that a big part of a person's skill is luck."

"Sensei?" Gaara repeated, recalling the older version of the teen from the chunin exams with a blink and a frown "Oh…that meddlesome busybody."

"He wasn't meddling! And He isn't a busybody!" Lee countered, rising to his idol's defense "What happened was because he knew I wasn't strong enough! That's all! Don't talk about Gai-sensei like that!"

Gaara eyed the fuming teen carefully, before looking forward, deep in thought as he waited for him to simmer down. "It's the same for you…" he noted "When you feel the honor of the one you respect has been insulted you become enraged, as if it were you yourself that had been insulted."

He looked at the sky, before trailing his gaze towards the silent forest of bones, which once had seemed so lively and white, now stood dead and graying, the chakra that had made them deadly leaving them as nothing more than a silent testament to one man's drive to fulfill his master's bidding.

"The stronger your respect for your idol," the redhead noted calmly, Lee following his gaze to their opponent "…the more precious they are to you…" he closed his eyes, as if in prayer as re recalled Kimimaro's words "The harder you fight for them."

Gaara opened his eyes, regarding the silent form for a second before looking heavenward "He's just like him…" the redhead noted, Causing Lee to blink at him in confusion "he reminds me of Uzumaki Naruto too." He sighed "However…the person precious to you doesn't necessarily have to be good."

"I fail to see how anyone could think someone as evil and un-youthful as Orochimaru was precious to them!" Lee opined, looking deadly serious, until Gaara spoke again.

"I disagree." The redhead muttered, sweat trailing down the side of his face "Even if you know they're evil…you cannot overcome your own loneliness." He frowned "I know that all too well…"

Lee blinked, looking heavenward along with the redhead, before reaching out and patting him on the shoulder, earning a confused blink from Gaara. "When my wounds have all healed up…" the Taijutsu specialist stated "Do you want me to teach you how to fight up close?" he smirked "Just incase anyone gets past your sand…like before."

Gaara blinked, eyeing the first person to have EVER struck him, not to mention dealt the most damage without drawing blood. A small smile crossed his features as he did so "I'd like that." He admitted, earning a grin from Lee.

"YOSH!" Lee exclaimed, giving him a thumbs up as sunlight flashed across his million-dollar smile "When we get back, I'll ask Gai sensei to get you a youthful outfit just like mine!"

"What's so youthful about it?" Gaara asked, eyeing the green leotard in confusion, desensitized by it's oddity by the fact he'd once been clinically insane, even as Lee ranted on about the flames of youth and the greatness of his sensei.

--

Water crashed in a tumultuous current as it fell between the two massive stone figures. Like something out of a Tolkien novel they stood, eyeing each other with their impassive stares, hands held out in the standard half ram symbol, their other hands on their weapons.

If one looked close, they'd recognize one as Senju Hashirama, the Shodai Hokage and Tsunade's grandfather. The other was dressed in similar armor, but only one who knew of the battle that was fought here would recognize this man, who had opposed Hashirama as his fiercest rival, the only man to match him in skill in both Jutsu and tactics, Uchiha Madara.

Naruto stood atop Hashirama's head, eyeing the back of the youth he'd chased to the edge of Hi no Kuni, the youth he, at one point, had aspired to surpass, the one person he'd felt had understood the pain of loneliness. The person, he feared, had been corrupted by the clandestine whisperings of Orochimaru and his nest of vipers.

"Sasuke!" he called out, glaring at the Uchiha's back, eyes boring into the Uchiha crest emblazoned there "I know you can here me teme!"

Sasuke didn't reply at first, merely continuing to stand with his back to the teen, before turning to face the blonde, face neutral and eyes shut, a smirk forming as he opened his eyes, taking in Naruto's look of horror.

"Hey," the Uchiha greeted, one eye a golden orb floating in darkness as he stood with his hands in his pockets "Knew you'd catch up…Naruto."

--

That was deep...seriously deep...but after such a long wait, the final battle draws near.

Will Naruto bring Sasuke back?

Will Sasuke escape to Orochimaru?

Or will they kill each other first?

Next time...the final battle begins!

R&R or no chapter for you!

* * *


	51. Chapter 51

And so they finally meet...after over fifty chapters of kakashi-mangling goodness, the valley of the end...

Kakashi: (fetal position on the floor) The...corn...!

Kyugan: Silence...sacred moment right here. (snaps fingers) have him cleaned up and sent back to Konoha...his mission is over anyways.

Brother; End of childhood.

"Knew you'd catch up…Naruto." Sasuke greeted, before chuckling at the look he received from the Hanyou "What? Something on my face?"

"Sasuke…" Naruto managed, gripping his sword tightly as he eyed the flame tattoo creeping under his friend's eye "What…what the hell happened to you?"

"Not too sure myself," the Uchiha replied, raising a hand in front of him "I feel like my whole body's on fire…but unlike last time it doesn't hurt." He clenched his fist "At the same time…something doesn't seem right."

"Of course it doesn't!" Naruto snapped, waving his arms wide "That's Pedo-hebi's hicky from hell! Who knows what kind of creepy diseases that perv gave you along with it!"

"Not like that dumbass." Sasuke shot back, though he did seemed mildly disturbed "Its as if…there's someone ELSE up here." He tapped the side of his skull "Whispering to me…telling me to seek out more power."

"Creepy voices in your head?" Naruto repeated, snorting "normally I'd tell you to lay off the wow-wow sauce, but then I'm hardly one ta talk."

"No I suppose not." Sasuke noted with a chuckle, shaking his head and looking the blonde in the eye "The thing is though…this thing is RIGHT…if I go to Orochimaru, I can get stronger…just like you three did when you went to Jiraiya."

"Are you even listening to yourself?!" Naruto snapped, eyes growing wide as he stepped forward "Do you even know WHY that freak put that demonic hickey on you?! He wants your body! And forget all the damn 'Uchiha are sex on legs' jokes! I'm serious here-!"

"I know." Sasuke cut in, silencing the blonde in mid-rant "I wasn't awake for the majority, but I caught the tail end of your conversation with that bone guy."

"Then why are you going to him?!" Naruto demanded, looking at the Uchiha in confusion, only to blink as he caught the determination in his eyes.

"Because so long as I can defeat HIM." Sasuke stated, venom dripping in his voice as he spoke "Then I could care less what happens to me."

"What about your clan?!" Naruto snapped, clutching at straws "you told us one of your goals is to revive your clan right?! How can you do that if Pedo-hebi takes you over! He might make you a Eunuch for all we know!"

"I doubt it." Sasuke countered, "Even WITH the sharingan it'd take forever to learn every jutsu in the world," he smirked "At the very least, he'll instigate a mass reproduction project."

Naruto blinked, before shaking his head in exasperation "Only you would refer to a harem as a 'reproduction project.'" He muttered, chuckling despite himself "And color me picky, but I prefer them a little more willing."

"Anko certainly spoiled us didn't she." Sasuke noted with a smirk, the two breaking out in light laughter before eyeing each other calmly.

"Sasuke…" Naruto began, fingering the hilt of his Katana carefully "Do you remember the promise I made with you at the lake?"

"Ah," Sasuke recalled, a small smile crossing his features as he nodded "I knew you'd be the one to come before me…call it…intuition."

"You know I always keep my word." Naruto stated, eyes narrowing as he pushed his blade out with his thumb "I'm bringing you back."

"I'd expect no less…" the Uchiha replied, holding out his hand and beckoning the blonde forward "Lets dance…Uzumaki."

--

No sooner had the words left Sasuke's mouth did Naruto blur into motion, Appearing from above in a battojutsu stance. "Hiten Mitsurugi ryu!" the blonde called out, striking out at the Uchiha's skull with the flat of his blade "Ryutsuisen!"

Sasuke sidestepped nimbly, spinning with his momentum to launch a heel kick and Naruto's face, only for the blonde to block with his sheath. The force of the blow sent the startled Hanyou flying off the stature, cursing as his entire left arm went numb.

'SHIT! Felt like Domon got me with hammer!' Naruto grit out, only to blink as Sasuke appeared before him, punching him in the stomach with the force of a pile driver, sending him crashing into the waterfall, skidding along the surface to the safety provided by Hashirama's statue.

Sasuke used a burst of Chakra in mid-air to propel himself towards the other statue, standing against the side as he admired his fist, only to flinch as his eye returned to normal. 'So that's what those guys were on about…' he noted, frowning in thought 'looks like my body's adapted already…' he frowned 'But so much power so quickly…if I release the seal, will my body be able to handle it?'

He snorted, looking down as Naruto clawed his way to the surface for air 'Using that power gives you an incredible rush, but at the same time if you lose yourself…' he frowned 'If things hadn't changed…'

--

Non-emo Uchiha Flashback no jutsu!

_Naruto looked up from his bowl of ramen to find Sasuke standing at the entrance to Ichiraku ramen in his regular clothes, waiting for him to finish stuffing his face._

_"Yo," the blonde greeted, looking the Uchiha up and down "See you ditched the full body condom," he noted "what the hell were you thinking wearing that?"_

_"Urusei…" Sasuke growled, flushing slightly as he glowered at the hanyou "Kakashi thought a change of image would impress the judges."_

_"Kakashi-sensei goes into withdrawals if you hide his porn." Naruto shot back with a smirk "Trust me, don't ask a guy so emotionally fucked up he can't show up on time for missions on how to look 'cool'."_

_Sasuke twitched, turning his head to the side as he snorted, refusing to let the blonde see he'd almost, ALMOST, made him laugh, only to blink as he realized a bunshin was leering at him, kitty mouth and all._

_"Hoh? You think that's funny do you?" Naruto asked, fox ears forming atop his head as he kitty-grinned "Well then, what do you think he looks like under that mask? Beaver teeth? Fish-lips?"_

_Sasuke nearly spat as he fought the urge not to laugh, the images spinning behind his eyeballs, half of him wanting to cancel the genjutsu, before recalling no one on his team USED genjutsu._

_"Good to see your funny bone still works," Naruto noted, grinning as he put an arm around the Uchiha's trembling shoulders "So, what say we get started on that spar?"_

_Sasuke didn't even have time to blink before he was pushed face first into a garbage can, rising to his feet with sharingan blazing to see a dozen Naruto's springing away in all directions. __"Hn...a fox hunt is it?" he drawled slowly, before smirking "You're on."_

Skip.

_"You still alive down there?" Naruto asked, tossing an exhausted Uchiha a flask of water, which he barely caught "Take a breather and we'll try again."_

_"Are you crazy?" Sasuke gasped, lying at the base of the waterfall in his boxers, thuroughly soaked with sweat and spray "Who the hell tries to run UP a waterfall?!"_

_"WE are…" Naruto reminded him, sitting next to the Uchiha with a grin in his orange boxers "And just so you know I've never managed it either, but it DID boost my reserves and control…stamina too now I think of it."_

_"As if you weren't hyper enough…" Sasuke muttered, only for his eyes to bulge as he was glomped by two hyperactive clones in female form…wearing nothing but boxers._

_"YAY! Sasuke-kun thinks we're hyper!" the bubbling blondes cheered, snuggling up to the Uchiha in a way that would have killed him if he were anyone else._

_"DAMMIT NARUTO!" the Uchiha roared, struggling futilely as they writhed over him like demented eels "Don't you have any concept of shame?!"_

_"You say something?" Naruto asked, lying on his back as one of the Naru-chan clones gave him a back rub "Look at it this way, would you rather it were actual clones of ME writhing on top of you?"_

_Sasuke looked decidedly green at the suggestion, shooting the clones a murderous glare as he allowed them to massage his back._

Skip.

_"I cannot believe you talked me into this." Sasuke growled, a vein bulging on his forehead as he held his arms across his chest, wishing he was anywhere else but here._

_"Fairs fair!" Naruto chirped, hands behind his head as he grinned at the seething Uchiha like the prankster he was "You lost the bet, you gotta keep your word!"_

_"Keh, fine…" Sasuke growled, making a seal and damning himself and his inability to turn down a challenge "OIROKE NO JUTSU!"_

_A plume of smoke engulfed the teen, and when it cleared a raven-haired beauty with spiky hair that trailed down her back stood in his place, twin sharingan spinning. __"Happy now?!" she demanded, only to blink as a camera went off, turning to gape in horror as Naruto held an instant camera in front of his face. "NARUTO!"_

_Kakashi blinked as he rounded the corner, only to find his blonde student struggling to get out from under a rather voluptuous, decidedly NAKED, female Uchiha, and quickly passed out from blood loss from the ears._

End flashback

--

'…I might have jumped into this and activated the seal without thinking.' Sasuke finished face settling in grim determination as he watched Naruto leap up towards, sword already drawn and reared back to strike. Moving to block, The Uchiha was surprised as something crashed into his side, blinking at it in awe.

'The first strike…with the sheath?' he muttered, flinching as Naruto spun with the strike, delivering a blow to his already abused ribs with the back of his sword, sending him crashing into the Statue's face.

"Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu: Soryusen Ikazuchi." The blonde panted, gripping sheath and sword in his hands as he spoke "That wake you up yet?"

"Yeah…" Sasuke called out, a light chuckle in his voice as he spoke up "mind you…I've been awake for quite a while now."

Naruto blinked, only for Sasuke to sucker punch him off the statue again, the Uchiha looking down at the blonde impassively "My dreams aren't in the future Naruto…" he muttered, even as he watched his rival fall "they're firmly locked…in the past."

--

Naruto rose to the surface again, crouching on the water and shaking himself, glaring up at Sasuke as Neji's words rang through his head. 'Just like you said Neji,' he muttered solemnly 'He's stuck in the darkness, or at least his head is.'

'**Then we need to drag him out of it.'** Kyuubi muttered, growling darkly in a manner that startled his son **'That statue…WHERE have I seen that man before?'**

'Otou-san?' the Hanyou muttered, only to blink and look up at Sasuke, who was holding one of his ribs tenderly. "Not a bad shot." He called out "Your playing for real."

"Not bad yourself," Sasuke shot back with a smirk "And yeah…this is for real…so come at me like you did at the exams…" his sharingan activated "I'll be playing for keeps as well."

"Doesn't have to go down like this…" Naruto called out, "think back Sasuke…everything we accomplished…everything you have waiting for you back home…all of that means nothing?"

Sasuke was silent a moment, before closing his eyes and sighing "If there is but one thing I truly value from living in Konoha," he admitted "more than the fame, the glory or the teachings…" He opened his eyes, sharingan gazing down into red tinged blue "It is the fact that I managed to meet…the only person I consider a friend there."

Naruto was silent, eyeing the Uchiha in confusion as he trailed off, noting the uncomfortable feeling that shocked through his spine "Friend?" he repeated, eyeing the Uchiha warily "You'd fight a friend to the death? Man you Uchiha are fucked up."

"Perhaps…" Sasuke allotted, smiling wryly "But in our own way, friends have been a source of strength for the Uchiha." He smirked "After all, in the short time I spent sparring with you, I learned more than I ever did with Kakashi."

"That's not saying much," Naruto muttered, waving a hand dismissively "Kaka-sensei's an able jounin, but he can't teach worth beans."

"True," Sasuke allotted, cracking his hand joints "Still, his teachings have served me well…"

Naruto, recognizing the signal, held his palm out to his side and allowed the chakra to go crazy, even as lighting crackled in Sasuke's hand. "Come to think of it…" the Uchiha noted, "We never did see which of our jutsu was stronger." He gripped his wrist "Care for a little road test?"

"Bring it." Naruto replied, gripping a clone's wrist as it swung him around to build up momentum. Sasuke leapt from the statue, even as Naruto allowed himself to be launched by the clone into the air, the two rearing their arms back as they drew closer.

"CHIDORI!"

"RASENGAN!"

--

As the two techniques collided in mid-air a brief moment passed where everything seemed to go silent. When it passed everything went crazy, a massive crater forming in the water below the teens as loose rocks from the statues fell and shattered under the force of the raging chakra.

Sasuke And Naruto refused to look away, their eyes locked onto each other, Sharingan gazing into demonic red as each pushed ever more chakra into their arms, their free hands snapping out to grip each other's wrists, even as their battling techniques drew ever closer, so close their fingertips were almost touching, the scent of roasting flesh filling the air.

Both teens kicked out at the other's chest, separating abruptly as a sonic boom rocked the area, Sasuke skidding towards the waterfall, whilst Naruto crashed headlong into the river, the Uchiha regaining his bearings first as he caught his breath.

'Not bad…' he noted eyeing the spot where Naruto had fallen 'and I was going full force with that Chidori too…that's one hell of a jutsu he has up his sleeve.' He smirked 'Pure chakra…no elemental affinity…that's the only reason Chidori can stand against it, the cutting edge cancels out his raw power…and vice versa.'

He smirked as Naruto floated to the surface, watching as the blonde slowly got to his feet, even as the seal markings began to cover his face "You know…Naruto…" he called out "When Kakashi taught me Chidori, he told me my limit was two a day." He smirked "But after training with you, my limits gone up to at least three…four if I push myself." He regarded the teen solemnly "You'd make a good sensei."

"Quit flattering me ass-hat and get serious." Naruto called out, eyes red as he smirked at the teen "Looks like the hickey's acting up, I got a cream that does wonders on sores, care to try it?"

"Pass," Sasuke replied with a smirk, as the flame markings covered his face "You know Naruto, Sharingan aside, when two shinobi of equal levels clash, its said they can read each other's thoughts through nothing more than the exchange of blows." He eyed the blonde "You are the only person I deem a friend." He reminded the blonde, as he began his seals "So can you read MY mind? NAURTO?!"

"Housenka with concealed shuriken." Naruto called out, freezing the Uchiha in place, "I may not be able to read your mind, but I know you well enough to recognize one of your trademarks."

"That so?" Sasuke asked, striking out to the side and blocking a blow to his head with a wry smirk "Distracting the opponent with Kage bunshin while you go for the kill…" he countered, the two grinning at each other "I know your tricks as well."

He spun, kicking the blonde in the cheek and sending him spiraling into the water, already beginning the seals for Chidori as he ran. Naruto cursed as he fought to regain his footing, holding out a hand to form the rasengan, only for Sasuke's foot to slam it against the wall, breaking the bone and earning a snarl from the Hanyou. He struck out with his other hand, only for it to be stabbed with a kunai, digging into the canyon wall and holding him upright.

"Too slow Naruto." Sasuke noted, a wry smirk on his face as he held the blonde's arm down with his foot, a fully charged Chidori chirping in his hand "My Sharingan is an unfair advantage I'll admit…but I'm not putting anything to chance with that speed of yours again."

"Noticed huh?" Naruto grunted, smirking wryly as he looked into his rivals eyes, crimson locking onto crimson.

"You were feinting," Sasuke noted "Trying to simultaneously conjure a rasengan whilst reaching for your Katana…" he smirked approvingly "A formidable Combo…IF it had worked."

He lunged forwards, lightning chakra gathered in his palm as he aimed directly at Naruto's chest.

--

"You did WHAT?!" Kakashi stammered, looking like all the ghosts of his former opponents had come to get him, a daunting thought considering precicsely how many people he'd killed "You sent a team of GENNIN after Sasuke and Orochimaru's men?!"

"I had no choice." Tsunade reminded him crisply, looking into his eyes with an authoritative glare "You KNOW what the situation is like at the moment, it was all I could do to give them a decent chance at success."

Kakashi slumped, sighing at the sheer stubbornness of his most bothersome charge, before righting himself, the usual lazy glint in his eye replaced with grim determination as he turned his back on the Hokage. "Relax." He called out, waving a hand as she called him back for his next mission "I'll be back in time for it…I'm just stretching my legs a bit first."

--

"Man, that was one long ass mission." Recca muttered, looking annoyed as he walked towards the gate to Konoha "Seriously, are we sure that guy's gonna be alright? He never struck me as the dependable type."

"Says the guy that stepped in crap twice in the same day." Domon mocked, earning a boot to the chin from his rival "HEY! That better not of been the crap foot!"

"I'll give ya crap foot Franken-dick!" Recca snarled, the two pummeling each other whilst Fuko looked on in exasperation. They had just gotten back from a mission to Takigakure, where the not-so-impressive leader had recruited them to ensure his safe return, ending up being dragged into an attempted revolt.

"I still can't believe they were fighting over a bottle of water." Fuko opined, arms behind her head as she forwned "I mean sure it boosted your chakra, but to shorten your life as a result? Count me out."

"What's so heroic about relying on a damn stimulant?" Recca agreed, grinding his foot into Domon's face, earning a plethora of curses from the giant "Hero water my balls."

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

The trio blinked, looking up to find a pack of dogs directly in front of the gates, Kakashi apparently giving them orders before they split up, vanishing into the trees like the shinobi hounds they were. "Yo! Kaka-sensei!" Recca called out, alerting the distracted jounin to their presence "What's up?"

"Recca? Domon? You're back?" Kakashi noted, sounding relieved at the sight of half of his team "Come with me! Sasuke's been taken by Orochimaru's team!"

"WHAT?!" the two rivals bellowed, Fuko looking between them in confusion as they gaped at the jounin in disbeleif "Where's Naruto?!"

"Already on their tail with several other Genin." Kakashi replied, nodding towards the confused Fuko "I'll take these two and go on, you report the success of your mission to Godaime-sama immediately, no excuses!"

Fuko, who knew better than to argue, shot her teammates a look before nodding "Fine, but the minute I'm done I'm coming after you guys." She promised, leaping into the village towards the tower.

"How long ago have they been gone?" Recca asked, falling into step behind his sensei as they set off, leaping in the direction of a howl from one of the Ninken.

"Several hours now," Kakashi revealed "Shikamaru's team still hasn't reported back yet, but we received some assistance from Suna so at the very least there should be survivors."

"Naruto'll make it." Recca stated confidently, looking forwards as they leapt through the trees "He won't die no matter what!"

--

"Tenacious bastard aren't you?" Sasuke noted with a smirk, blood dripping from his lips as he pressed against Naruto's sandaled foot, the kunai attached to it with chakra having stabbed him in the stomach "You made me miss your heart."

"Cut the bull." Naruto shot back, wincing from the pain in his right shoulder and lung as Sasuke pulled out his arm "You weren't aiming for it in the first place."

'Not entirely untrue…' Sasuke allotted to himself 'At the last moment I hesitated…I'm still nowhere near ready for Itachi.' He winced as Naruto gripped his wrist, red chakra seeping off the blonde as he forced the Uchiha to back off, ripping his hand out of Naruto's shoulder. 'Damn…nearly snapped my wrist off!' Sasuke muttered, flipping back warily and gripping the tender limb tightly 'And I only got it back a few months ago too…'

"Pretty damned determined aren't you?" He called out, smirking as Naruto crouched, arms crossed before him and eyes blazing red "Tenacious bastard."

"I told you…" Naruto called back, leering at the Uchiha from behind his arms "I'm bringing you back…even if I gotta rip your limbs off."

"Really?" Sasuke asked, only to blink as the blonde vanished, a fist crashing into his stomach like an anti-tank round, sending him skidding along the water holding his gut.

'FAST!' the Uchiha realized, flipping through seals as he fought to gather air into his abused lungs, glaring up at the figure descending from above "KATON: GOUKAKYUU NO JUTSU!"

Naruto snarled defiance, letting out a roar laced with chakra as he fell, the fireball dissipating as it collided with the air, Sasuke grimacing as he was buffeted by it, right up until he sensed something in the water. 'Aw SHIT!' the Uchiha swore, blocking as best he could as what seemed like an invisible swarm of piranha dug into him from all sides, swimming to the surface desperately using chakra, only for something to leap up ahead of him, grabbing his head and hurling him at the cliff-face.

--

'**Naruto…' **Kyuubi called out warningly **'You're pushing him rather hard if you want him back alive.' **He frowned as his son refused to answer **'Naruto…are you listening to me?'**

The Taiyoukai and lord of the bijuu felt a shiver run over his form as he felt the subtle changes in his son's scent, the decrease in human chakra as the demonic began to overflow. **'No!'** he swore, rattling the bars of his cage desperately **'Naruto! Calm down! You've gone too far!'**

But the kit could no longer hear the calls of its sire.

--

"Ow…" Sasuke muttered, pulling himself out of the indent in the wall "Dammit…I'll be feeling that one tomorrow-!" He blinked as something leapt on him, driving him deeper into the wall, narrowly avoiding a set of fangs as they descended upon his neck, kicking out and sending the assailant flying. "What the-?" he demanded, only to freeze as he got a good look at him "Naruto?"

The youth was almost entirely enveloped by a blood-red aura of chakra, his teeth bared as he glared up at the Uchiha like an animal. There was no sign of the blonde's intelligence in those eyes, only raw, animal fury.

"I see…so your power comes with a cost as well." The Uchiha noted, rising to his feet and standing on the wall, reaching into his pocket for his headband "You and I really are two of a kind aren't we…ever since we were kids." He smirked "Didn't think I'd remember did you? The times we'd check on each other at the lake." He frowned as he regarded the beast-like figure "But then I suppose you can't hear me now, can you?"

Fastening his Hitai-ate to his forehead, the Avenger opened his eyes to reveal his fully developed sharingan "Fine then…" he called out "If our bond is what drives us to this…then I'll sever that bond and save us both." He eyed the figure with an almost pitying expression, before gesturing for it to approach "Come…Naruto." He ordered, "I'll end it…this cycle of pain."

--

'Naruto' lunged at the Uchiha, leaving behind a pattern of images in his wake as the sharingan predicted every move before it even occurred. He slipped and ducked under each swipe, each blow, and every subtle grapple that was thrown at him.

'Apparently this power is more of a hindrance.' Sasuke noted grimly 'Sure he's faster and more powerful…but his intelligence has dropped accordingly," he dodged a swipe at his chest, leaning back to throw the opponent as he narrowly avoided a bite to the jugular 'it's like I'm fighting a caveman…or a wild animal.'

Rolling to his feet he nodded, bending and turning to avoid the clumsy strikes of his opponent 'I can read his moves, which leaves me plenty of time to avoid his attacks.' He tilted his arm back upon dodging a swipe and aimed at an approaching image 'And if I can predict his position…' Naruto's face collided with the fist the second it filled the spot the image had been 'I can land blows before him!'

--

"Something's going on up ahead." Pakkun noted, face grim as his nose twitched "I smell a dangerous chakra there…but at the same time, a familiar one."

"Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, only to frown as Pakkun shook his head, looking at the nin-dog with concern "Who then? Not Orochimaru?!"

"I don't know…" Pakkun admitted solemnly "It smells familiar…but at the same time not human." He frowned "If anything, it reminds me of fox musk."

The three humans shivered slightly, before picking up the pace, almost leaving Pakkun behind. Something bad was going on up ahead, and from the sound of it Naruto was in the thick of things as usual.

--

'Why won't he stay down?' Sasuke growled, kicking 'Naruto' in the chin and sending him off the mountain top 'I've hit every single trauma point on his body…don't tell me he can't feel them!?'

'Naruto' swiped at Sasuke, the Uchiha weaving out of the way, only for his eyes to widen as a hand composed entirely of red chakra extended to slash at him, the hairs on his body standing up in terror from the feel of it.

'That chakra…is it alive?' Sasuke wondered, staring at his opponent in alarm, 'My sharingan should enable me to see the flow of chakra…but I can't predict where this red chakra will come from AND take on Naruto up close.' He frowned, flipping through some seals rapidly 'If close range is out…then let's turn up the heat!'

"Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu!"

The fireball launched itself towards 'Naruto', even as the snarling beast charged it, in the world's most one-sided game of chicken. Sasuke grimaced as they collided, the explosion kicking up a mass of steam, only to frown as he detected the telltale glow of the crimson chakra through the mist.

'No doubt about it…that chakra's protecting him.' Sasuke noted grimly, taking a few cautionary steps back to assess the situation 'But if I hold my distance-!'

He trailed off as the crimson chakra hand launched itself at him like a serpent, barely managing to leap out of the way, only to curse as 'Naruto' descended from above to swat him onto the shore. The Uchiha coughed as he pulled himself out of the rubble, wincing as the cursed seal continued to spread, covering half his face with flame like markings in an attempt to bolster his body's defenses and strength.

'At this level…all I can do is dodge.' He noted grimly, eyeing the crouching form of his opponent with trepidation, 'This seal's getting harder and harder to reign in too…a survival mechanism perhaps?' He grimaced before snorting self mockingly, shaking his head and hiding his face with his bangs.

"Nothing else for it then…" the Uchiha allotted, the marking glowing as they proceeded to encompass his entire being "We really are something else aren't we?" he asked rhetorically "We've left the Normal world far behind us."

Sasuke stood up, Sharingan set in an ocean of black, his face a grey-brown that contrasted with the stormy gray mane that extended down his back. "We've left the world of normal humans…" he continued, voice echoing slightly as he locked gazes with his feral opponent "we're both monsters now."

Before he could say another word, the feral form that was once Uzumaki Naruto lunged at him, chakra talon reared back for a savage swipe that plowed through the valley floor and the foot of the Shodai's statue.

--

Weren't expecting the end so soon were ya?

I know, I'm evil for leaving it there, but hell, i gotta make sure this ends on a good note!

?: Speaking of notes...

Kyugan: ! (Stares at figure behind him) You?!

?: Me (Steps out of shadow, revealing Light Yagami, death note in hand) Quite an organisation you have going here...think I'll take it.

Kyugan: You and who's army bitch?

Light: Misa?

Misa: (Comes out of the shadows, looking right at Kyugan, before turning to Light) His real name is-!

BRAKOOMBRAKOOM!

Light: (Stares in shock at Misa's body, now minus a head, before gaping at the stump on his arm that used to be his left hand and the death note) GYAAAAARRRRGGGH

Kyugan: (Blows out the smoke from his custom 8" Colt Anaconda, watching Light writhe on the ground impassively) Newsflash bitch, the hand is quicker than the eye (Levels the gun at Light's head) and the Bullet is faster than the Pen.

BRAKOOM!

--

Ryuk: Moral of the story, do NOT threaten Authors...and never speak to Kyugan about Death Note.

Kyugan: A good series, I'll admit, but not a favourite by a long shot.

--

OMAKE!!

(Warning, may contain hints of Yaoi for humorous purposes)

"Ow…" Sasuke muttered, pulling himself out of the indent in the wall "Dammit…I'll be feeling that one tomorrow-!" He blinked as something leapt on him, driving him deeper into the wall "What the-?" he demanded, only to freeze as whatever it was started rubbing against him "THE HELL?!"

He kicked out, sending the assailant flying, gaping in shock as it revealed itself to be Naruto, but not as the Uchiha remembered him. The youth was almost entirely enveloped by a blood-red aura of chakra, his teeth bared as he glared up at the Uchiha like an animal.

There was no sign of the blonde's intelligence in those eyes...which made the fact they currently resembled the eyes of a certain female snake charmer all the more disconcerting.

"What the hell?" Sasuke wondered, only to yelp as the beast tackled him again, rolling across the canyon floor in a jumble of limbs, only to grunt as his he came to a halt, on his back, his arms pinned.

'This is NOT good.' the Uchiha deduced, gazing up into the red eyes in alarm, even as the beast lowered it's face towards his, sniffing carefully, before lunging forwarss, fangs glinting in the sunlight.

Kakashi lunged out of the forest, his students bringing up the rear as he gazed around for the remainder of his team, only to blink as he espied a bundle of clothes on the valley floor.

"Aren't those Sasuke's boxers?" Recca wondered, blinking as he held up the rumpled blue shorts covered with miniature Uchiha fans "Odd time to be skinny dipping you think?"

Pakkun sniffed, before blinking, eyeing the rustling bushes in alarm "Kakashi! In there!"

The copy-nin leapt in the direction indicated, fearing the worst as he pushed the branches aside, only to gape in horrified alarm at the sight before him.

**_"BUGGEROFF...!"_** a dark voice growled out, the Copy-nin retreating from the bushes with his back straight, his hair slowly turning completely white from the shock.

"Sensei?" Recca asked, turning to face the jounin, only for Kakashi to shake his head and signal for them to back away VERY slowly.

Master of a 1000 stolen jutsu he may be, but there was NO way in hell Kakashi was getting involved in THAT without Gamabunta, an army of sennin, and all the remaining bijuu backing him up.

On the plus side, it seemed Sasuke would be coming back with them after all.

--

R&R!

* * *


	52. Chapter 52

Slowly but surely we're drawing to a close.

And in this time, let us recall the good and the bad...and the just plain hillarious moments that have come to pass.

Random voice: Just roll the damn camera already!

FRAG-A-DOOM!

Kyugan: (Growls and lowers RPG) NEVER, interrupt me when I'm addressing the audience!

* * *

Valley of the end; goodbye my friend.

"This isn't good at all!" Pakkun noted grimly, struggling to make headway through the thick foliage of the woods "I smell rain clouds on the horizon, if we don't hurry, I'll lose the scent!'

"Then hold onto yer britches Pooch!" Domon barked, grabbing the pug and tearing through he trees with a burst of chakra, smashing through anything that got in his way "'cause the Ishijima express just left the station!"

Kakashi sweatdropped at the rampant destruction the teen was leaving in his wake but said nothing. If it got them there faster he'd be more than happy to level the damn forest. "Quit Day-dreaming sensei!" Recca called out, snapping the jounin out of his daze "We gotta get there quick! Orochimaru could be there!"

THAT definitely lit a fire under the jounin, while he'd heard tales of how his students had stood their own against the Sennin, that was when he'd been seeking Tsunade's aid. He didn't doubt that the serpent had found a way around his injuries by now…and no doubt Kabuto was sure to be there, probably with an army of shinobi to back them up.

'Knowing my luck, Itachi will decided to stop by for a chat too.' The jounin muttered bitterly, shaking his head and dashing to catch up with his students 'Naruto…Sasuke…hang on there…I'm coming for you!'

--

The beast growled in confusion, staring at the strange, hand-like growth that had come between it and the prey. It had been toying with the prey for some time now, wanting to soften the meat before it snacked down on it. But then the Beast's scent had changed, the smell of blood and snake oil mixing in with the original scent to create something…different. Something stronger. Something Dangerous.

'Threat.' It deduced, just as the growth flexed, swatting the beast aside and sending it crashing headfirst into the Shodai's statue again, only the thick cloak of chakra protecting it from harm. Looking up, it watched as a second growth erupted from the prey's body, the prey crouching like a hawk, wincing in apparent discomfort as if injured.

Before the beast could capitalize on the prey's apparent weakness, it twitched in discomfort, staring at it's left arm, which refused to function at all. The limb felt dead, as if all the life had been drained from it, yet at the same time felt as if it had been drenched in fire.

"It would appear your power has the same drawbacks as mine." The prey called out, drawing the beast's attention back to it "Naruto…I don't know if you can here me…but don't you think this place is a little TOO perfect for our fight?" it smirked "Right…you can't hear me…" it started flexing it's fingers "But I'll bet you can SEE what I'm doing."

The beast bristled, watching as lightning gathered in the prey's hands with its lips drawn back, Right hand clenching tightly, almost instinctively. It didn't like this strange chirping noise, and the smell of burning ozone was making its hackles rise.

'Chidori' an echoing voice noted, the beast's ears twitching as it looked around for the source 'Kaka…sensei.'

The beast's brow furrowed, eyeing the ball of lightning as it darkened, silvery sparks of dark chakra mixing with it as the prey reared its arm back. Slowly almost instinctively, the chakra began to rotate in its palm, the cloak shifting to accommodate this rapidly rotating addition.

'Rasengan…Ero-sennin.' The voice echoed, growing stronger, as if a distance was closing, faces rising to the fore 'Big-booby Neechan…Saru-jiji…Iruka-sensei…Kagero-kaa-san…Shigeo-ji…Fuko…Yanagi-ne…Tokiya…Kaoru…Domon…Aniki…Hinata…'

"Sasuke." The beast growled out, looking the prey…no…it's RIVAL in the eyes, the Uchiha's widening slightly, before smirking.

"Naruto." He replied, before lunging forwards, his hand-like wings carrying him through the air, even as his crimson foe lunged towards him, their arms drawn back for the final attack.

**CHIDORI!**

**RASENGAN!**

--

"HOLY SHIT!" Domon yelped, nearly crashing into a tree-trunk as he fell to one knee, gripping the sides of his skull, eyes clenched tight as he tried to ward of the sudden surge of pain.

"Domon?!" Recca yelled, leaping down beside his rival in concern, even as the echo of the clashing Chakra blasted through the forest around them "What's the matter?! What happened?!"

"Sudden…burst of chakra." The giant managed to grit out, blood running down his nose and ears from a burst vein, his eyes bloodshot "Felt like…an explosion…in my head."

'Domon's chakra sensing abilities are impressive.' Kakashi noted, pride for his student momentarily eclipsing his concern for his health 'I can't sense it as well as that, but even I can tell that something very big just took place up ahead.'

"Sensei…" Recca began, looking up at the jounin in concern as he helped his decidedly unsteady rival to his feet "What do we do?"

"We press on." Kakashi ordered after a few seconds pause "Domon, stay close to Recca and try to guard your mind. Chakra detection is a two pronged ability, it leaves you open to assault if you just throw it out."

Domon nodded, dashing after the others after a moment's hesitation. 'Something big just went down up ahead.' He noted, features grim as blood trickled out his ears 'Naruto…hang on little buddy…we're comin' for ya!'

--

_Naruto…_

_A blonde haired boy, no older than five, stood with his hand outstretched._

_Sasuke…_

_A dark haired boy, the same age as the blonde, reached out with his own._

_…Loneliness…_

_…Bitterness…_

_…Confusion…_

_…Delusion…_

_…Jealousy…_

_…Rivalry…_

_They reached out to one another, hands gripping tight as they gazed into one another's eyes. The Blonde smiled, eyes closed in a fox-like manner as he held the other boy's hand tight. After a moment, the dark haired boy returned the smile._

_…Acceptance…_

_…Equality…_

_…Family…_

--

Light shone down into the valley of the end, highlighting the battle scars that had, after three generations, been added to the once serene canyon. The waterfall now flowed into a massive bowl, which had diverted the flow of the river somewhat, creating several small islands where there had once been a valley floor.

At the feet of the proud Senju Hashirama, a beam of light shone, growing ever narrower as the clouds overhead gathered. Bathed in this light, a red-haired youth lay on his back, his face exhausted and the whisker marks on his cheeks ragged. Standing over him, like a silent sentinel, was a youth with raven black hair and a pale complexion, his dark eyes solemn as he gazed down at the figure at his feet.

"Naruto." He uttered, watching as the beam of sunlight seemed to focus on the other boy's face before receding to a point and vanishing, his Hitai-ate falling from around his head to lay beside his fallen foe. 'No…not foe.' he realized, gazing upon those restful features, so different for the raging monstrosity from moment's ago 'So much more than that…so much more.'

The patter of rain against his skin caused him to look up, as the sky released it's burden upon him, the rain falling fast and heavy, drenching him as he gazed upon it. He spasmed, the mark on his shoulder sending a moment of pure agony through his battered frame, driving him to his knees and coughing up blood, before looking again upon the face of the redhead, so close his nose was practically touching the metal of the other's Hitai-ate.

He held his position, looking upon the serene features of the teen before him, wondering if he'd ever seen him so at peace, before resting his forehead against the cool metal of the Hitai-ate, his breath slow and calming as he did so.

"Naruto…"

--

"SHIT! WHERE'D THIS RAIN COME FROM?!" Recca demanded, leaping through the trees like a drenched chimpanzee, the rest of his team not too far away, idly noting the steam rising off the enjutsu-shi as he pressed onwards.

"Pakkun!" Kakashi called out, wiping water out from his eye even as he leapt alongside his students "Can you still track the scent?"

"Barely!" the pug called out in response "But that doesn't matter! We're really close! Right in front of us!"

Domon let out a yell and bodily threw himself out of the woodlands, only to fall off the edge of the cliff and sail towards the valley floor. Rather than scream, he righted himself, landing with a crash on his feet and leaving a small crater in his wake, even as Kakashi and the rest touched down beside him. "Where-?" the giant began, only to trail off, his face paling and knuckles tightening as he caught sight of the figure lying on his back not ten feet away from them, a solitary figure with spiky red hair and familiar kimono top and shinobi pants, a sheathed Katana resting at his side.

'We were too late.' Kakashi noted, his soul weighing as heavy as lead as he gazed upon the form of his most unpredictable student. He blinked as Recca walked up to him, the enjutsu-shi looking down at the body in shock, before chuckling.

"Ha! Good one Naruto!" he cackled, hands on his hips "Quit the drama man, we know you're yanking us."

Kakashi felt the weight on his soul increase, watching the teen crouch next to the body of his beloved Outoto. He'd seen people do this before…it had never ended well. 'Why did this have to happen.' He wondered, looking heavenward for an answer, as if the gods were really in an accommodating mood. 'First Obito…then Rin…then Minato-sensei…and now Naruto?' he asked, looking up at the pouring sky accusingly 'Just how many people must you take from me before you're satisfied?!'

"Sasuke was here." Pakkun reported, sniffing around at a slashed Konoha headband that had been placed next to Naruto's sword, neatly folded, like a trophy.

If anything, that made Kakashi feel all the worse, as it meant he'd not only failed his teacher, but his best friend as well. He'd let Orochimaru darken Sasuke's heart, and now the boy had tossed it all aside.

"Hey he's still breathin!" Domon exclaimed, Kakashi's eyes widening as he turned to face them "Check it out! His wounds are bandaged too!"

And indeed they were, albeit sloppily, as if the administrator had been rushed or unable to focus. While hardly first class treatment, it was a perfect emergency field medicine procedure, straight out of the academy guidebook.

"Something tells me Pedo-Hebi wasn't here." Rekka noted grimly, looking at his bandaged Outoto with concern "I highly doubt he'd bandage his opponent up and just walk away."

'Indeed he wouldn't.' Kakashi noted, walking over to the group and picking up Sasuke's Hitai-ate and Naruto's sword, looking off to the side even as Domon scooped the battered teen into his arms. 'Orochimaru wouldn't have left enough of Naruto for us to bury, and from what I've been told Kabuto would've taken the corpse with him.'

He gazed off into the woods, his eye solemn, but with a hint of hope that had, for some time now, been absent.

"Sasuke…"

--

Sasuke stumbled as he pressed through the woods, his right hand gripping the seal on his shoulder tightly. It didn't stave off the pain any, but it gave him something to do as he pressed through the woods.

_'To gain power equal to mine…'_ Itachi's voice echoed, his menacing Sharingan looming before him _'You must kill…your closest friend.'_

Sasuke grit his teeth, so hard they began to crack, clenching his hand over his shoulder tightly, before glaring at the darkness accusingly. "I AM NOT YOUR PUPPET!" he yelled, voice hoarse and aching from the battle, but underlined with a strength of will that could move mountains "Power equal to yours? Don't make me laugh!"

He snorted, a sneer on his face as he glared at the image of his brother between the trees "You killed your best friend for power…you took the easy way out." He stepped forwards "I'll gain power my own way…I'll SURPASS you, and everything you stand for!"

Dull laughter echoed from the depths of the woods, Sasuke's hackles rising as he glared at the image acidly "WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!" he demanded, hurling a kunai at the illusion, only to blink as it vanished in a plume of fire "Wha?"

"Impressive resolve." A voice called out from behind, Sasuke whirling round to face the newcomer in alarm "Good eyes…burning with determination."

'How'd he get behind me?' the Uchiha wondered in alarm, noting the robes and belts that adorned the figures frame 'And…is that my kunai in his hands?'

Indeed it was, and the figure seemed to enjoy twirling it around his finger like a pen, leaning against a tree with his other arm folded across his chest, his face hidden in shadow. "A truly marvelous display." The figure noted, "I haven't seen talent like that for some time now…you're a credit to your village." A dark chuckle as he turned to regard the Uchiha "Oh wait…you left didn't you?"

"Who are you?" Sasuke demanded, unnerved by the man's tone, yet at the same time, put at ease "Did Orochimaru send you? Are you working with him?"

"Orochimaru?" the man repeated, sounding honestly amused at the mere thought "That gutless son of a serpent?"

Yet another dark chuckle emitted from the man, sending shivers up Sasuke's spine as he turned to face the teen, a single eye, with cold, merciless eyes, pinning him where he stood from behind a porcelain mask

"Do not associate me with trash like that."

--

"How long is the squirt gonna sleep for?" Domon asked, leaping through the trees carrying Naruto piggyback, Recca leading as Kakashi brought up the rear.

"He just fought Sasuke to the death." The copy-nin shot back, a lot calmer than he actually felt "We're lucky the two are still ALIVE."

'No foolin'.' Domon muttered 'I sensed the chakra they were putting off…I'd a hated to get caught up in THAT.' He blinked as several blips appeared on his mental radar, relaxing as he caught the familiar scent coming towards him "FUKO!"

Sure enough the fujin mistress entered the scene, a trio of medic-nins at her heels as they fell in line alongside the group. "How is he?" she asked, looking over the former blonde in concern "And what's with the hair?"

"No clue…for either." Recca shot back tersely "Sasuke patched him up before he took off though, so he's not in any danger yet."

"And what of Uchiha Sasuke?" one of the medics asked, only to sigh and look away after meeting Kakashi's gaze. One of them shot the slumbering genin on Domon's back a look of solemn pity, not wanting to be the one to break the news to the boy when he awoke.

"What of the other genin?" Kakashi asked, hoping to get off this touchy topic as quickly as possible.

"The first and second medical corps were dispatched immediately by the Hokage shortly after Kirisawa-san reported in." the bespectacled medic replied "We encountered the genin sent after Sasuke in various locations, applied basic treatment, and transported them back." He nodded at Kakashi's look of inquiry "Of the group, Nara Shikamaru suffered minor injuries, and whilst Inuzuka Kiba suffered from deep lacerations, there is currently no threat to his life at this moment." He nodded "As for Hyuuga Neji and Akimichi Chouji…"

--

"Would you relax already?" Temari demanded, sitting across from the Nara scion with her legs crossed, hands on her knees. She was a little irked, and at the same time a little intrigued, at the fact the chunin wasn't trying to eye her up like so many others, but then again, his team was in the red zone. "Getting worked up over everything won't do you any good." She shrugged "Every decision has a price, surely they explained that in psychological training?"

"Training and actual combat are two entirely different things." The Nara scion shot back, a little surprised at the bitterness in his tone "I've been on missions before…but this was my first time as squad leader…and it made it clear I'm not cut out for this."

"Psh, weirdo." Temari muttered, looking the teen over calmly "What's with the delicate act?" she eyed him carefully "you scared of getting hurt?"

Shikamaru eyed the older blonde for a few seconds, before getting to his feet and walking off with his hands in his pockets, idly noting his father off to the side, a stern look on his face. "Save pops." He called out, his voice leaden with exhaustion "I'm not in the mood for a man-to-man talk right now."

"That's fine," Shikaku agreed, face stern "After all, you're hardly acting like a man now are you?" he frowned "Even if you quit, your friends will still be sent on missions, just with a different leader." He shrugged "Even with that, there probability of deaths' high…but maybe, if YOU lead them, your friends will survive."

Shikamaru paused, which Shikaku took as his cue to continue "You made it back this time, reflect on what happened this time and learn from it, perfect your strategy for the next mission." He looked at his son's back "If you care for your friends…then before you even think of running away, become stronger for them." He glared at his son "THAT's how true friends are supposed to act, you brat!"

'Tough old man.' Temari noted, with approval, looking the elder Nara over as he glared at his son's back 'Just what this guy needs.' She blinked as the door to the operating room opened, revealing the smiling face of the busty godaime Hokage. 'I wonder what she eats to get them that big?' she wondered offhandedly, before looking up as the blonde spoke.

"He's clear." Tsunade called out, taking a seat to relax "The continuous destruction of his cells brought on by the pills has been halted." She elaborated nodding at Shikaku "The Nara clan's medicine guide was a tremendous help, it must have taken years of continuous research to accumulate such knowledge."

"Thank you, Godaime-sama." Shukaku offered with a grateful, world-weary smile "I'd hate to see the look on Choza's face if he lost Chouji."

"Tsunade-sama!" a voice called out, a pleased looking Shizune rounding the corner "We just finished healing Hyuuga Neji, he's in the clear!"

"How did she do?" Tsunade asked, smiling at the girl hanging close to the brunette with a smile. Yanagi waved at her shyly, her hands stained slightly red from the blood.

"Amazing!" Shizune replied, "Short of replacing the blood, we hardly had to do anything to help him! It's a miracle!" She blinked, before coughing, clearing her throat in embarrassment before standing straight "Also Hatake Kakashi Uzumaki Naruto have returned, Naruto-kun was injured, but he's in no danger."

"Quite the contrary." An aged voice spoke out, startling quite a few people with it's suddeness "He's in more danger than you think."

"Who?" Shikaku wondered, only to blink as Tsunade let out an irate squawk, eyes bulging out of his head at the sight of a diminutive old man in a Hawaiian shirt fondling the godaime's assets. Tsunade reared back a hand and swatted the thing, only for it to bounce off the wall, flip in mid-air, and crouch next to a terrified Shizune on his knee, having easily blocked a blow that could have flattened a bull bison.

"W-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Tsunade roared, getting to her feet in a rage, only to blink as the old man made a double victory sign.

"I am…the mysterious old man!" He chuckled as they stared at him in abject confusion, Tsunade gaping at it disgust, before waving cheerfully at Yanagi "Yo, Yanagi-chan!"

"Ah! Koku-jisan!" the healer called out, her eyes wide as she smiled at the perverted Karyuu, "What are you doing here? Does Recca know?"

"I slipped out while he was chasing after Naruto and the Uchiha brat." Koku replied, patting his shoulder stiffly "Mataku…kids these days, always rushing around." He nodded at Shikamaru "And you, quit worrying so much, you'll go bald."

'Who the hell is this geezer?' Shikamaru wondered, a bead of sweat running down his brow 'He just snuck past six shinobi, one of which being the Hokage herself, only to cop a feel? And what's with the sage advice?'

"Girl's don't dig baldies that's why." Koku replied, shocking the younger Nara out of his thoughts "Just ask any monk, but to the point," he turned to regard Tsunade, his eyes serious behind his sunglasses "we need to talk…"

--

_'Where am I?'_ Naruto wondered, his voice echoing as he gazed at the darkness around him _'What happened? Where's the waterfall? Where's-?!'_

_"SASUKE?!"_ he yelled aloud, turning his head as he hovered in the darkness, his eyes wide in concern _"TOU-SAN! ANIKI! DOMON?!"_

"**They can't hear you."**

Naruto blinked, looking around in confusion into the darkness, searching for the origin of the voice. **"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"** it called out again, a lilting, echoing tone that sent shivers racing up and down the Hanyou's spine **"Feh, and you call yourself a demon?"**

_"Who the hell are you?!"_ Naruto snapped out, reaching for his sword that, to his shock, wasn't there anymore _"Where am I?!"_

"**Who am I?" **the voice repeated, the echoing, lilting tone filled with dark amusement at the Hanyou's dilemma **"Who am I you ask?"**

Naruto gaped as a pale, clawed hand suddenly clamped around his neck, he tried to force it off, only to discover, to his horror, that the left side of his bode was disintegrating, like some sort of puzzle. He gazed up in horror at the arm attached to the hand, HIS left hand, following up the reforming arm to espy his assailant, an inverted, red eyed version of the left side of his face, leering maniacally at him the entire time.

"**My name is…!"**

--

Naruto sat bolt upright, a scream tearing form his throat as he eyed the room in confusion. As his racing heart calmed, he began to wonder how on earth he'd gotten to the hospital, just as the door swung open beside him, revealing a concerned Hinata, dressed in a hospital uniform.

"Hinata?" he wondered, eyeing the wide-eyed Hyuuga heiress in confusion as she stared at him "What're you-GACK!"

Hinata launched herself at the Hanyou with a cry, latching onto him and giving him a hug that reminded the blonde exactly What he'd been doing that might have landed him in the hospital. "H-Hinata!" he managed, gritting his teeth against the creaking of his ribs "Y-you're killing me here!"

Hinata lessened her grip but refused to let go, sobbing slightly as she buried her head in his chest, fingers gripping into the back of his hospital pajamas, as if to validate his existence. Feeling incredibly awkward, the former blonde slowly returned the hug, rubbing her back gently, and calmingly, until her sobs finally stopped. As she raised her head to look at him he smiled and wiped the tears from her cheeks "Missed me huh?"

Hinata flushed and looked down, stepping back and releasing the injured Hanyou as she fought the urge to twiddle her fingers. "O…okairinasai…" she stammered, her face flushed as she avoided his gaze, only to blink as a gentle hand patted her on the head, causing her to look at the smiling object of her affection.

"Tadaima." Naruto replied, his smile warm and grateful, his eyes gentle despite the red ring that encircled the blue. He smiled as she blinked, ruffling her hair and earning a giggle from the heiress, before a loud growl filled the air between them.

"Looks like it's time to feed the beast." Hinata joked hesitantly, earning a quirked eyebrow from the patient, as he made a half-hearted swipe at her, "Stay here, I'll get you something." She shot him an apologetic smile "No ramen, sorry."

Naruto moaned as the heiress shut the door behind her, sinking back onto the hospital bed with a grunt. He suspected the damned things had been specifically designed to make the patient feel uncomfortable, a sentiment shared by anyone who'd spent prolonged stays at the facility.

Closing his eyes he breathed in deeply, the departing scent of lavender that was Hinata already being replaced by the stench of chemical death that was the hospital. Wincing, he stared at the ceiling, trying to make sense of it all. He'd been fighting Sasuke, that much he could be certain of, the fact he was covered in wounds and felt like he'd been put through a blender verified that fact even further. But last he'd checked, the only major injury he'd suffered had been the Chidori to the chest…fatal to a normal human, but easily handled by tapping into his father's chakra.

'Otou-san!' Naruto thought hurriedly, sitting up straight at the sudden thought, wondering why he hadn't heard from the Taiyoukai. Closing his eyes he focused on the dreamscape, opening his eyes to find the familiar forest of the retreat. "Otou-san!" he called out, looking around wildly for his demonic sire "Are you here? Otou-san?!"

"Naruto…" a solemn voice called out, Naruto turning to espy the Kyuubi, in human form, standing not ten paces away.

"Otou-san!" the Hanyou sighed, smiling in relief at the sight of his sire, taking a step forward, only to blink as he took note of the solemn frown on the Taiyoukai's face.

"You can't stay here…Naruto." Kyuubi muttered, not approaching his son as he stared into the youth's eyes, frowning as the blonde made to step forward, drawing his sword to drive him back "Come no farther! Until you can control yourself, we can't get too close!"

"Control myself?" Naruto repeated, staring at his father in confusion, this wasn;t like the Taiyoukai at all "What are you talking about?"

"Have you forgotten already?" Kyuubi asked, looking at his son, his blade pointed at the ground "I highly doubt you have."

Naruto would have continued to query, but froze as a chill swept over him, the feeling of something sliding over his skin like ice. He tried to turn his head, only for his eye to widen as he caught sight of the left side of his face in a puddle.

White hair, a pale face, jagged, scar-like whisker marks that seemed to have been clawed onto the cheek. The lips were lined with black, giving the appearance of a smile, distorted further by the leering grin as the blazing red eye lock onto his startled blue.

"**Yo, half-ass."** The lilting voice from his nightmare greeted mockingly **"Come runnin' to pops have ya?"** it chuckled **"Don't bother…he can't help ya." **The leer grew, stretching the skin around the face abnormally **"No-one can."**

Naruto's scream tore through the mindscape, even as an invisible burst of raw chakra slammed into his chest, forcing him out of it.

--

The scream echoed around the hospital, alerting every available medic, Tsunade, and all those with her to the Hanyou's dilemma. Dropping Koku to the floor like a bad habit, the Godaime tore down the hallways like a stampede, slamming orderlies and startling nurses out of her path, her mind and vision locked on the door to Naruto's room, wondering if Orochimaru had sent someone to finish the boy off.

As she drew near, she entered the room to find Temari's younger brothers, one of them the sand jinchuuriki, the other looking like he was about to faint with terror, trying to hold the struggling teen to the bed, he seemed to be having a fit, fingers clenched and frothy spittle flying from clenched teeth. "Hold him down!" she ordered, lunging towards the bed to push down on the boy's shoulders, eyes widening as she realized why the older brother was so scared.

Naruto's lips were lined with black, the markings on his cheeks deepening to look more like markings and a wild, animalistic light had entered his now fully crimson eyes. Even as she pressed down on him, those eyes locked onto hers, and in them she saw no recognition, no conscious thought, only pure, animalistic fury at his confinement. 'What on earth-?' she wondered, flinching as he began to push forwards 'This strength! Where is he getting it all!?'

"This is bad!" the kabuki wearing sand sibling cried out, struggling to hold the teen's legs down, "Even Gaara was never this bad!"

Gaara said nothing, he merely focused his efforts on restraining the only one he considered an equal, cursing Kimimaro and the battle that had consumed so much of his chakra. If he could only control his sand, restraining Naruto wouldn't have been an issue, as it were, he was putting his all into just holding down one of the teen's legs.

"Hmm…having problems are we?" a voice called out, the group looking up to find Koku perched above the teen's headboard "I told you there'd be trouble," he stated, eyeing the startled Godaime calmly "his demon blood has reached boiling point."

"Bastard!" Tsunade snapped, shooting the lecherous dwarf a glare "if you know so much why don't you DO something?!"

"I intend to." Koku replied, flipping down to kneel on the bed, just out of reach of Naruto's teeth, grabbing the struggling teen's left arm by the wrist even as it swiped his sunglasses off "After all, this IS what I came here for."

Tsunade blinked as flames burst out of the old man's open palm, followed by the revelation of what appeared to be a tekko, her eyes widening as she caught sight of the array of miniature seals inscribed into the metal. Before she could say a another word, he had clamped the metallic cast onto Naruto's arm, the teen going rigid, eyes wide and veins bulging in his neck, before slumping down to the bed, unconscious.

"That should hold him." Koku muttered, watching as Tsunade checked the boy over for injuries "It took me forever to devise a method of sealing off the excess demon chakra, at least without seriously inhibiting the boy's OWN."

Tsunade looked up at the old man and shivered, noting the wisdom in his eyes for the first time, feeling as she'd done when she'd first been brought to meet her grandfather. 'Who is this man?' she wondered, watching as he looked over the boy she regarded as a brother methodically 'He act's like an eccentric old pervert…but that seal…and those eyes…not even Sarutobi sensei had that much strength in his stare!'

"Nee-chan?" a weak voice croaked out, causing the Godaime to switch her gaze to the teen she was holding down "What happened…where am I?"

Tsunade didn't answer, she merely lunged at the teen and held him close, rubbing his suddenly red hair as he struggled futilely to extract himself form her grip, only to freeze as spomething pressed against her bossom, staring at Naruto in shock as she got a proper look at him.

"Neechan?" the former blonde asked, voice cracking from the strain it had endured as he pushed the godaime back slightly "Is something wrong?" he frowned "and why's my voice so damn high?" he blinked, catching sight of the sand brothers for the first time "Gaara! How you been?"

Gaara merely nodded, a dumbfounded expression on his face as he stared at the person he considered his equal. Kankurou's face had turned an interesting shade of magenta, a trail of blood dripping down his nose as he stared at the embracing leaf nins.

"Uh…you two alright?" the Hanyou muttered, looking between the addled brothers in concern "neechan, maybe you should check the –WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Naruto's eyes widened as the Godaime ceased attempting to smother him with her bust and promptly groped his chest. Slapping her hands away, the startled teen covered himself in protest, only to blink as something soft and squeezable entered his grasp. "What the?" he muttered, squeezing it again and blinking at the odd sensation it produced "What the hell is-?" he paled, looking down in disbelief at the bust that would put Fuko to shame, eyes widening in horror as he lifted the blankets to check under his pants.

"Told you there'd be side effects…" Koku muttered, wiping his bloody nose secretly, even as a high-pitched scream tore through the hospital for the second time that day.

--

Yeah...wasn;t expecting THAT little plot twist were ya?

For those wondering about the little Ranma 1/2 refference, this plays a major role in the upcoming sequal.

YES! That's right! Hokage no Isan: Shippuden, is in the planning stages!

Book your advance copies now by sending in an assload of reviews to the usual address!

Just kidding, but seriously, Reviews PLZ!

* * *


	53. Chapter 53

I'd like to take the time to thank you all for staying with me through to the end.

I'll admit, this is the first work I've ever actually finished, and even though it didn't get the same ratings as other fics, I feel you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed typing it.

Therefore, it is with a light, thankfull heart, that I present to you, the final chapter of this epic saga...for now.

(Silence ensumes, Kyugan blinks as nothing happens, turning to find Kakashi huddled in the corner in the foetal position)

Kyugan: Kakashi (jounin flinches) What are you doing?

Kakashi: (blinks, eyes the surroundings warily (You're not going to hurt me?)

Kyugan: The story's almost finished, wanna end on a good note.

Kakashi: So...no more pain?

Kyugan: (Smiles and holds out a hand.) No more pain.

(Eye watery, Kakashi holds out a hand towards his onetime tormentor. The second their hands tighten around one another, a bandaged fist rams into his face, sending him flying into the wall.)

Kyugan: (shakes his head in disbelief) I can't believe he's that stupid...(turns his head to the Shinnigami of the Muay Thai underworld) Good job Appachai, have a cookie.

Appachai: (eyes white circles) APA!

* * *

Blossoming flames; the ending of a saga.

"Well…" Kakashi noted, trying his hardest not to chuckle as Recca and Domon laughed their arses off, watching the seething redhead smolder in his, or her he supposed, discomfort "this is oddly Karmatic."

"Stuff it sensei!" Naruto snapped, glaring angrily at the jounin, arms crossed over his, HER chest, shooting murderous glares towards Koku, who was making certain to stay well out of reach by the windowsill "And YOU! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I didn't MEAN for this to happen." Koku pointed out, though he was eyeing the redhead up unabashedly from behind his sunglasses "Madogu, particularly those with serious magical power, can prove…decidedly unpredictable at times."

"You can say that again." Naruto growled, staring at 'her' new bustline with distaste, earning an amused snort from the oh-so-amused Kakashi as he leant against the wall.

"Funny, the amount of times you use that jutsu of yours you'd think this wouldn't mean so much." He chuckled, his smirk widening beneath his mask as the redhead glared spitfire at him.

"That's a JUTSU, this is my REAL body!" Naruto shot back, glaring at his teammates as they continued to bust a gut "And stop that! This isn't funny!"

"Come now Naruto-kun." Koku chastised good-naturedly, drawing a little closer as he did so "After all, you DID say you'd put your life on the line for your dreams right?"

"My life yes…" Naruto growled, shadows lining her eyes as she glared murderously at the Karyuu, before leaping across the room and throttling him in a very familiar manner "but not my MANHOOD!"

Tsunade, who had been present the entire time to ward off the various inquiring minds of Konoha, (the nurses in the hospital were the worst gossips as she knew from experience), simply snorted as she watched the perverted old dwarf get his comeuppance. "So what are we going to do now?" she asked at length, regretfully interrupting the elder abuse session with a nod towards the former blonde "Its obvious that without that gender-bending tekko, you can't control yourself, but as things stand you NEED the power of Kyuubi if you hope to fight at 100%"

Naruto scowled at said 'gender-bending' tekko, wondering what on earth she'd done to deserve this mess. "This doesn't change a thing." She replied at length "I promised I'd drag Sasuke back if I had to."

"Looking like that you shouldn't have any problems at all." Recca pointed out with a chuckle, "Hell, didn't you see Gaara? Guy was crushing hard and he's gotta be ten times as reclusive as Uchiha was."

Naruto glared hellfire at the enjutsu-shi, hurling a comatose Koku at him in anger, only for the old man to burst into flame and vanish upon making contact with the teen's skull, startling the adults in the room. "What the hell?!" Tsunade yelped, looking around in confusion, fists raised to ward of any attempts on her figure "A Katon Bunshin? Where in the hell is the real one?!"

"Actually…Koku-jiji is one of Recca-Aniki's Karyuu." Naruto supplied, sweat dropping at the look on the well-endowed sennin's face "Seriously, Saru-ji had files on this stuff…didn't you read them?" her face went deadpan "You've been skipping out on work again haven't you?"

"Urusei!" Tsunade snapped back, embarrassed at being caught out, before turning to the recovering Recca with a glare "Summon him back! We need to talk about this."

"Uh…Koku's kinda out of it at the minute." Recca stammered, not liking having the Hokage's full attention bearing down on him, even if it did give him an ample view of her cleavage "And even if I could, he'd wreck the hospital if I summoned him inside…he doesn't appear in human form unless he wants to."

"Great, another useless old pervert." Naruto muttered, only for her eyes to widen in realization of some fresh, unspeakable horror "CRAP ERO-SENNIN!"

"Jiraiya? What about him?" Tsunade asked, looking at the wide-eyed redhead in confusion "He just got back from a mission abroad, do you want me to send for him?"

"HELL NO!" Naruto swore, pulling the blanket up to her chin as if to shield her from the very mention of the man's name "The last thing I want is that mega perv seeing me like this!"

"Someone call for me?" a cheerful voice called out, a familiar mane of white hair popping through the open window, startling the life out of those inside "Miss me?"

"Like a hangover." Tsunade shot back, though she hid a slight blush as she turned her head away, arms crossed "And can't you use the door like a normal person?"

"But I am far from normal!" Jiraiya crowed, doing a bizarre dance on the windowsill "I am known throughout the lands as the wildest of men! The charmer of maidens everywhere! The Legendary-!"

"Ero-sennin." Recca and Domon deadpanned, causing Jiraiya to miss his step and crash face first into the floor, leg twitching. He wasn't down for long however, and promptly clouted the two teens faster than you could say 'perv'.

"Insolent brats!" the toad sennin groused, dusting off his hands as he left Recca and Domon in smoking heaps on the ground, turning to his decidedly nervous redhead apprentice with a glare "And as for you…"

"You wouldn't hit an invalid would you?" Naruto wheedled, pulling off the puppy-dog eyes no jutsu to great effect, only for Jiraiya to sock her twice as hard. For the on the legendary pervert, that particular technique was only effective if a girl used it, with men it just pissed him off. "Itai! That hurt you old fart!" Naruto roared, leaping out of the bed and grabbing the sennin by the collar like an enraged spider monkey, only to blink as she realized two things. Firstly, in doing so, the front of her hospital kimono had come partially undone. Secondly, her position on his chest gave him a bird's eye view of her own.

Jiraiya blinked, eyeing the rather well developed mounds in confusion, before raising a finger and poking one experimentally, eyes widening as he failed to detect the telltale lingering of chakra that was evident in the normal Orioke no jutsu transformation. Unwilling to believe it, he continued to prod the mound, only to blink as palpable killing intent washed over him, looking up in alarm to find what appeared to be Kushina-chan's reincarnation glaring down at him with raw, unbridled feminine wrath in her eyes.

"KONO ERO-JIJI!!" Naruto roared, trying to throttle the sennin as he had Koku before, only for Jiraiya to tilt over backwards, the two of them rolling in a dust cloud as they fought, fists and limbs exiting at random intervals, before dragging a recovering Domon and Recca in to the fray as the others watched on in disbelief from the sidelines.

"God damn brats…" Tsunade growled, feeling the usual Jiraiya related migraine starting up behind her eyeballs, turning to a rather numb looking Kakashi with a deadpan expression "Break it up."

Kakashi turned to eyeball the Hokage in disbelief, only for Tsunade to glare him into submission with a look that clearly said 'I outrank you bitch, deal with it', leaving the unenthusiastic Jounin to sort out the mess while she returned to the sanctity of her office, and the hidden stash of sake she'd hidden there.

"Yare-Yare…" Kakashi sighed, shaking his head morosely as he approached the murderous cloud of dust and flailing limbs with the air of long-suffering patience "Now-now children…" he called out, wincing as he realized Jiraiya would kill him later "What say we settle down and-!"

Whatever Kakashi was about to say was drowned out as he made the mistake of getting to close. The murderous ball of idiocy sucked him in like a miniature black hole, before promptly rolling out the door and into the corridor, scaring the life out of nurses and orderlies alike as the copy-nin's screams for mercy echoed down the halls.

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Several hours, a trip to the infirmary, and minor scarring and property damage later, and the group stood before their Hokage, lined up like men facing a firing squad. Though considering the look on the Godaime's face, a firing squad would have probably been a lot more pleasant than what they were about to go through.

"Are you idiots quite done adding to my workload?" Tsunade ground out, a vein bulging dangerously next to the gem on her forehead. It turned out that Shizune had uncovered the hidden stash and had disposed of it, meaning her migraine hadn't gotten any better, and bereft of sake and gambling, the only way she'd found to alleviate her suffering was to pass it on to someone else, physically.

Shizune, who was regretting the disposal of said stash with each passing second, sent the assembled males covert looks of pity, knowing this wasn't likely to end well for at least one of them. Said males included Jiraiya, who was looking decidedly unabashed, knowing first hand this wasn't as angry as Tsunade could get, the prankster trio, who looked pretty roughed up, save Naruto, who was recovering rather quickly as usual, even in her cursed form, and a virtually mummified Kakashi, who raised his hand.

"Ano…" the jounin began tentatively "This isn't really my fault…" he trailed off as Tsunade turned the full power of her glare to him, dropping the hand and weeping internally at the unfairness of it all. He couldn't even read his beloved Icha-Icha Violence, whoever had mummified him had pilfered it in the process.

Having put Stanley in his place, Tsunade turned her gaze to Ollie and the three stooges, the latter of which seemed to be looking decidedly nervous by this point. "Anything to say for yourselves?"

"You're looking radiant today?" Jiraiya cracked, a flirtatious smirk on his face, only to take a paperweight to the forehead that sent him crashing to the floor.

"Baka!" Tsunade growled, though she DID flush a little at the compliment, before turning to the snickering stooges "And you three! What the hell were you thinking fighting in the corridor?! Need I remind you that you were in a hospital?!"

"It's not my fault!" Naruto insisted, pointing at the comatose Jiraiya, her hospital kimono revealing a little cleavage that Shizune noted with nervous disapproval "The old perv touched my…my-!"

"They're called breasts Naruto." Tsunade sighed, rubbing her eyes in exasperation as Shizune stifled a giggle "There's nothing wrong with the word, and he's touched worse places than that in his time."

"You'd know…" Jiraiya mumbled from his spot on the floor, earning yet another blunt instrument to the noggin, this time the IN tray from Tsunade's desk…one of them anyways.

"As I was saying…" Tsunade coughed, watching as a flustered Shizune ran about picking up the scattered papers with mild amusement "From what that old pervert…the short one, Koku was it?" she continued at Recca's nod "Right, from what he said, your little transformation is directly related to the alteration of Yin and Yang needed to keep your demonic chakra at bay."

Naruto flinched, eyeing the Tekko on her arm, recalling the pale, twisted mockery of her true face that had mocked her in her own mind. Why had it started acting up? Why hadn't she received any warning? And why in the hell was he referring to himself as 'she?!'

"All in all things could be worse." Tsunade deduced, placing her hands together in the Ikari Gendo pose, "At least you're still human…sort of, and from what we can gather, your chakra control should have increased as well."

"Doesn't make up for loosing my manhood, Big-booby Neechan." Naruto deadpanned, shooting a glare at his chortling teammates and sensei, whilst Shizune flushed and hid her mouth.

"Deal with it." Tsunade ordered, though there was a note of humor in her tone "It's hardly permanent, merely a measure to ensure you can control your demonic chakra, rather than the alternative, which beings me to my next point."

She pushed a file towards the group, Naruto picking it up to blink as it turned out to be profiles, obviously not the full ones, of two S-Class missing-nin, more specifically, the two that had tried to abduct him before.

"Hoshigaki Kisame," Tsunade reported "one of the seven swordsmen of the mist, otherwise known as the Kirigakure no Kiishin. According to reports, he only took orders from the former Mizukage, on whom we have no data. His weapon, as Asuma testifies, doesn't so much cut as Shave the opponent, and as you yourself can attest, it can devour chakra." She nodded "And Uchiha Itachi, former ANBU Captain and one of the greatest prodigies to come out of the Uchiha clan. He became an ANBU captain while most were still in the academy, and graduated from said academy after only staying a year."

'What the hell is he? A Newtype?' Domon and Recca wondered, eyeing the Elder Uchiha Sibling in alarm, evan as Tsunade continued the debriefing.

"Furthermore," the Godaime explained "he is the one responsible for the Uchiha massacre, wiping out his entire clan in a single night, save for Sasuke."

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Naruto flinched at this, glaring down at the root of Sasuke's hatred, wondering just how fucked up in the head the whole clan had to have been. If they weren't killing their friends for power, they were killing themselves for the hell of it.

"While the full scope of his abilities remain unknown," Tsunade continued, snapping the redhead back to reality "What has been determined is that he possesses a Mangekyou Sharingan, an evolved Sharingan that grants the user access to several unique jutsu."

"The first is Tsukuyomi." Kakashi supplied, shuddering at the mere memory of that hell "A Genjutsu where Itachi can manipulate the flow of time and reality, he trapped me in it for what felt like three days, but in actuality, was only a second."

"And another," Jiraiya added, getting up from the floor, pulling a scroll from his pocket as he spoke "Involves black flames that cannot be extinguished by any techniques I know."

"We still don't know the full range of Itachi's abilities." Tsunade added, "Before he left, he used his position as ANBU captain to erase all files pertaining to his skills and techniques from the record, and there is no written accord of the Mangekyou in Konoha, so the only ones with any knowledge of it would be the Uchiha clan themselves."

"Both of which have pretty much tendered their resignation with an upright finger." Jiraiya muttered, earning sage nods from Kakashi and two thirds of the trio. Naruto, the remaining third, merely frowned at the picture of Itachi, confusion lining her eyes.

"Something's not right about all this." She stated, slapping the picture for emphasis "If he's such a badass, and has all-powerful God-mod jutsu backing him up…why in the hell did he just run away?"

"Any man would run screaming when faced with the almighty Jiraiya-sama!" Jiraiya boasted, preening mentally as the others rolled their eyes in exasperation.

"True, your face IS a shock to the system first thing in the morning." Tsunade quipped, earning a round of sniggers from the trio and a discreet cough from Kakashi and Shizune "But Naruto has a point, which means either something was preventing Itachi from fighting at 100%, or he had some reason to not do so."

"Either way it doesn't help us figure out what the hell he and 'jaws' wanted with Naruto." Recca muttered, confusing the adults with the unkown reference "So what are we supposed to do?"

Tsunade was silent for a moment, before looking to Jiraiya, who took his cue from there "If Sasuke's gone to Orochimaru, and for all purposes he has, then he's probably going to train like a madman." The sennin deduced, his face devoid of any form of humor "However, my sources indicate that he's already switched to another body, so Sasuke should be safe for at least three years."

Naruto looked up, eyes wide with relief at the first bit of good news since she'd woken up, her remaining teammates grinning like the loons they were. Jiraiya noticed this and smiled at her, which promptly wiped their smirks off their faces. For it wasn't the usual good natured smirk, or even the perverse leer that decorated the sennin's face. Oh no, what adorned his face was a smile that was so ominous, you half expected it to come lunging at you from behind a patch of water…or from the other side of a court bench.

"Which means…" Jiraiya drawled out, shadows lining his face as he turned to face the now cowering pranksters like some wrathful shinobi deity, his eyes like searchlights "That little Naru-chan and I are going to be training ten times harder in order to compensate!"

"Quit scaring the brats Jiraiya." Tsunade, a little unnerved at the look on her old teammate's face. Her grandfather had used that look to keep her in line when she was younger, passing it on to the sandaime to keep her, and her teammates, in line. The fact that the pervert could make that face brought up memories she'd rather stay buried "Naruto, Recca, Domon, you're excused." She stated, watching with a smirk as they practically broke the door down to get out of her office "Kakashi, Jiraiya…we need to talk."

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"Seriously scary…" Recca muttered, shuddering as they left the Hokage office, cold sweat running down their cheeks as they put as much distance between them and The Smile as possible "I don't envy you Naruto."

"Don't leave me alone with him!" the unwilling trans-gendered shinobi wailed, eyeing her adoptive brother and comrade in alarm "Can't you guys come along too?!"

"Are you kidding?" Domon swore, sweat dripping from his shaven head "After seeing that look I'll be lucky if I can SLEEP tonight, let alone go on a trip with it!"

"But I won't be able to take a bath with that old perv nearby!" the redhead exclaimed, shuddering at the mere thought "Ugh…I feel dirty just thinking about it!"

"Tell me about it." Recca muttered, hands in his pockets as he slouched over "I mean, Orioke no jutsu is one thing, cause you got clothes on underneath, but this…" he eyed his Outoto with a guilty flush "Yeah, I can see why you'd be self conscious."

"Perv." Domon muttered, whilst covertly utilizing his height advantage to sneak guilty peeks down the redhead's kimono "eyeing up your own sibling."

"Look who's talking Franken-dick!" Recca bit back, face red at being caught out as he kicked the giant in the liver "How's the view from up there you hypocrite!"

"I can hear you, you bastards…" Naruto ground out, eyes flashing red in warning as she turned to face the quarrelling idiots. They immediately shut up, looking away from the enraged redhead. They recognized the look in her eyes, it was the same one Fuko wore when someone pissed her off too much, the next person to say something stupid was likely to wake up the next morning in the infirmary.

"…like a stream of fire when I pee." A familiar voice muttered, Inuzuka Kiba limping round the corner with a disinterested, make that highly annoyed, Kankurou at his side "Seriously, you think I should-?"

He caught sight of the fuming redhead, or rather, said redheads rather curvaceous figure beneath the slightly too-big hospital kimono, and grinned. Ignoring the sudden muteness of his companion, he made his way over to the redhead, unaware of Recca and Domon's gestures to run the hell away. "Hey there hot stuff," he greeted, leaning against the wall, wincing as his ribs popped in protest "So what are you in for?"

Recca closed his eyes and plugged his ears, looking away from ground Zero as his Outoto turned to face the poor sap. Domon, once again decked out like a Buddhist priest, began chanting over prayer beads, whilst Kankurou beat a hasty retreat down the hallway as the screaming began.

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"I heard that Kiba got transferred to the emergency ward." Ino noted conversationally, walking alongside her colleagues as they left a study session "Apparently he tried to flirt with some redhead and she ripped him a new one."

"Ouch." Hinata winced, though she really wasn't that surprised, Kiba had a nasty habit of saying the first thing that popped into his head, and sadly tended to think with his little head when in the presence of females. She herself usually had to remind the teen that 'no' wasn't an invitation to try again, though she'd never taken it so seriously as to resort to physical violence.

"Get this though!" Ino continued, a grin on her face as she gestured widely "Apparently she tried to pop his right nut before the orderlies managed to haul her away!"

"Oh come on!" Sakura huffed, turning her head the other way in disgust "As if a woman that violent would exist."

Ino and Hinata shot their pink haired teammate a covert look, but wisely decided to keep their mouth's shut, Hinata because she was too polite to do otherwise, and Ino because she had no desire to be told off for scrapping with her rival again.

As it were, they were passing the restrooms when a trio of orderlies limped past, carrying each other and looking decidedly worse for wear. "Batshit crazy b-bitch…!" one of them stammered, supported between his two comrades as they limped on "It was an accident, she was gonna kill that kid!"

"You still shouldn't have ripped her top." One of the others countered, wincing at some painful memory "She'd have just settled for letting us haul her away then."

"Well I ain't getting her another one!" the third muttered, clutching his family jewels tenderly "She can freeze 'em off for all I care!"

The trio watched the orderlies stumble off, before turning to look at each other, curiosity burning in their eyes. "Don't tell me you don't wanna take a look." Ino taunted, a daring smile on her face "I mean c'mon! You saw what those guys looked like!"

"I don't know…" Hinata stated unsurely, she was supposed to meet with Kagero for tea and was technically running late as it was. Before she could answer however, she was dragged down the hall by a grinning Ino and Sakura, her protests lost as they zeroed in on the room Kiba's assaulter had been stashed. Creaking the door open, they gazed around the thrashed room, only to blink as their target stepped out of the bathroom.

"God damn it's freezing in here!" the girl muttered, rubbing her bare arms as she paraded around the room, spiky red locks trailing down her back lightly tanned back "Fucking pervs better hurry up with that top or I'll kill them…brrr!"

Apparently unaware of her audience, the redhead continued to parade around the room, muttering threats to various persons, most vehemently a certain Ero-sennin, which caused said audience to blush, though for several different reasons, not entirely because of the language. She sneezed, shivering due to the chill in the room, before flinching as she caught sight of them huddled by the door.

"Uh…hi?" Ino greeted, a little unnerved by the way the girl was staring at them, "We uh, heard a friend of ours gave you some trouble and thought we'd check in on you."

"Uh…thanks." The redhead offered, looking between them like a cornered deer, whilst pointedly trying to avoid the curious gaze of the Hyuuga heiress "Just…make sure he doesn't do it again!"

"Uh, I have a spare kimono if you'd like." Sakura offered, holding up a pressed, hospital kimono, trying not to stare at the redhead's…assets, along with Ino. 'SHANANROO! WHAT'S THAT GIRL BEEN DRINKING?!' Inner-sakura raged, flames of jealousy roaring behind her as the redhead got dressed, hurriedly 'She's bigger than Naruto's Orioke form for crying out loud!'

"Thanks…" the redhead stammered, still avoiding Hinata's piercing gaze as she pulled the kimono on, before turning for the door "I'll uh…just be going now…"

"Huh? Why?" Ino wondered, snapping out of her daze long enough to grab the redhead by the arm "We're about to go off for a break, care to join us?"

"Eh?" the girl stammered, looking around in desperation for an escape route, only to meet Hinata's eyes. The heiress blinked, eyes widening in recognition, before covering her mouth in surprise.

"Hinata?" Sakura called out, looking at the heiress in confusion "Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?"

Hinata looked at the pinkette, before eyeing the wide-eyed, pleading form of the redheaded, whiskerless, FEMALE Naruto being veritably dragged out of the room by Ino, and deciding to take a rain check on the tea.

This looked like it might be interesting.

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"What do you mean Naruto's not in his hospital room?!" Tsunade snapped, glaring at the understandably nervous Shizune "Don't tell me he snuck out for ramen!"

"N-no! We already had guards posted at all the Ramen stands in Konoha, especially Ichiraku ramen." She coughed and righted herself "As of yet, there has been no sign of anyone resembling Naruto, male OR female, nor anyone associated with him."

"Mataku…" Tsunade growled, shaking her head in mild irritation "Just like Kushina, always disappearing without a damn trace…" she glared at Shizune "Well don't just stand there, find him! I mean her…whatever! Leave no stone unturned!"

She sat back in her chair, waiting until Shizune was halfway downt the corridor, before reaching under the desk and pulling out a bottle of sake.

Hey, when the cat's away right?

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The group had gone to a small bar near the hospital that Tsunade usually frequented after her duties there, usually to hide from Shizune. As always, she had written up a tab, which her students willingly added to with each visit.

"So here I was, fretting over whether or not I'd be burying my best friends, I mean, Chouji was literally wasting away and Neji had to worked on by a crack team of medics." Ino insisted, more than a little incensed, and the Amazake she was chugging down certainly wasn't helping "Kiba and Akamaru were lucky enough that help showed up when it did but can you believe that idiot Shikamaru?" she scoffed, downing another short as she did so "Not only does he take his sweet time coming back with that bitch from the sand, he also comes back with some red-haired sound trollop hanging off him!"

"C'mon now Ino-san…" Yanagi pleaded, trying to calm the obviously tipsy Yamanaka down before she started a riot "Shikamaru-san wouldn't do something like that."

"Probably consider it too troublesome." Their redheaded drinking companion muttered, resting on one elbow as she titled her Amazake cup, signaling for yet another refill, her thirtieth thus far judging by the grin on the barkeeps face, "I mean c'mon, Shikamaru? With a chick? Not unless she was made outta clouds and shogi pieces."

Ino and Sakura flushed at the imagery, too sloshed to comprehend how this girl knew the resident slacker. Yanagi blinked, tilting her head to the side innocently, the innuendo lost on her, whilst a smiling Hinata refilled the redhead's sake cup with something a little stronger than the others were drinking.

Amazake, as she'd learned from experience, would have absolutely no effect on Naruto, (for she knewit was him the minute their eyes met) hell, most weaker beverages tended to burn out before the alcohol could even reach his blood.

Which is why she was currently refilling his cup with a little contraband that the Hyuuga clan normally kept to themselves…a family recipe if you would. The punishment for administering it to non-family members was swift and painful, but considering what had occurred between them on the night of Tsunade's inauguration…let's just say she was secretly glad for her clan's almost feudal beliefs on the terms of marriage.

Not that she was about to spring THAT little card just yet, she wanted to be absolutely sure of her position as clan head before she revealed certain secrets to specific people. As it were, she contented herself with watching as the redhead slowly lowered her guard, fitting in with the others as they poked fun at the various men and role models in their lives.

After all, the future husband of a clan head should know how to interact with her friends shouldn't he?

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"Ara? Hinata-chan cancelled our get together?" Kagero repeated, looking up at Reiran from her spot by the table "That is a shame, I was hoping we could talk some more…"

"She said she and the other trainees at the hospital were getting together." the animated puppet added, setting down the tea tray and pouring the calming liquid for the woman "A girls night aparrently."

"Oh dear..." Kagero sighed, looking up at the clock in trepidation "And I was so hoping she could tell me more on Naruto's condition...I mean, it's hardly normal, even for Madogu.

"Indeed." Reiran agreed, her own body was still that of a marionette, even if it was animated, even if she DID possess free will. Most Madogu, even the dark ones, tended to only affect specific things about their hosts, for one to so drastically alter the user...

"Oh my, do you think I should start stocking up on some necessities?" Kagero wondered, a hand on her cheek "I fear that between Yanagi-chan, Fuko-chan, Haku-chan and myself, we've completely run out." she eyed the animated marionette "The first one is always the first too..."

Reiran tried to envision the look on Naruto's face if he overheard this conversation and couldn't help but burst out laughing.

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Morning was heralded by the sound of a cut-off squawk, as the konoha rooster once again was forced to duck out of the path of various pointy objects hurled at him by those desiring a few minutes of blessed slumber.

All over Konoha, everyone was getting over the night before, or at least, those who'd been out the night before were, which basically included all off-duty shinobi and one rather annoyed redhead, who's kunai had resulted in the eternal silencing of the damned bird.

Naruto awoke with a groan, raising a hand to cover her head, far to hung over to correct herself until her brain stopped trying to commit Hara Kiri. 'I swear I'll kill Koku-jiji for this.' She muttered, holding her head with the heel of her palms as she sat up 'Can't even be a guy in my own damn head…'

A soft moan at her side caused her to freeze, head turning like an arthritic skeleton to espy the human shaped lump under the sheets to her right. Swallowing slightly, she reached over, pulling up the blanket just as the person beneath rolled over to face her, revealing a rousing, decidedly naked, Hyuuga Hinata.

"Mmmm….morning Naruto-kun…" the heiress mumbled, sitting up and rubbing her eyes with a smile as she eyed the stammering redhead "Did you sleep well?"

"Hi-hi-HINATA?!" the currently female Uzumaki yelped, making warding signs as she fought the urge to leap out of the bed, realizing in terror that they were in a tavern room of some sort "Wha-?! When-?! How-?!"

"You got drunk last night at the get together." Hinata replied, running her hands through her hair with a smile as she stretched, drawing the redhead's attention to her…assets "i brought you here, my father owns the property so I have the key. As for how…well I suppose I was to blame."

"You spiked my drink?" the redhead exclaimed, trying to come to grips with this new, devious Hinata whilst simultaneously trying to keep her brain from shutting down due to the combination of beer and exposed cleavage "What with?"

"One of father's private brands." The heiress replied, giggling as she refused to reveal any more "He hasn't touched it since mother died, so it should be fine till I replace it."

"You…I mean…How did-?!" Naruto began, only to blink as Hinata leaned in, blue eyes widened as the heiress silenced any further protests with a kiss.

"If you're worried about your form Naruto-kun," Hinata assured the stunned redhead upon release, "I already garnered the necessary information from Tsunade-sama's files." She giggled at the look on the redhead's face "Godaime-sama was quite willing when I offered to take care of a few…minor debts."

"You bribed big booby nee-chan?" Naruto repeated, honestly not that surprised at how easily it had been accomplished "You're becoming quite the con-artist, Hinata-chan."

"Oh?" Hinata noted, smiling in a way that made the redhead flush "Well, I suppose I had a good teacher…or three, can't forget Kurenai-sensei and Anko-sensei."

Naruto would've questioned the heiress further but at that moment a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, eyes widening as she turned to espy the Hinata-clone holding her in place.

"The file stated that Jiraiya-sama wanted to head off with you the minute you were cleared from the hospital…sooner even." The original Hinata admitted, smiling as the redhead put up a modest struggle "However, I convinced him that, since he wasn't likely to be back for three years, that he should spend some time with Godaime-sama."

She smiled as she placed a palm to her beloved's cheek, not caring WHAT his form was, for it was still the man she loved inside "That means, for the next 24 hours…you're all mine, Naruto-kun."

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Jiraiya froze, a single strand of hair pointing straight up as he twisted his head around like an satellite receiver. "Perv senses…tingling!" he wondered aloud, eyeing the surrounding walls suspiciously "I sense…that one of the brats…is getting lucky!"

"Then you actually have something in common." Tsunade called out, drawing the white haired sennin's attention to the Godaime as she leant against the doorway of her bedroom in her green coat...and nothing else.

'Blood…leaving…brain…' Jiraiya mumbled incoherently in passable Shatner, as the well-endowed woman padded towards him 'Will…to resist…nonexistent…'

Tsunade simply smirked as she leaned close to him, eyeing the look of aroused terror on her former teammate's face before grabbing his shirt and throwing him onto the bed, ripping the article off him in the process. "Don't think that party was the last of it." she warned him, as he sat up blearily on the bed "I've been without ever since I left the village twenty-five years ago…time to binge a little."

All Jiraiya could do was scream as his teammate took a running jump, crashing into him and sending them flying onto the bed, which collapsed under the pressure.

Tsunade wasn't one who believed in moderation, if she wanted something she got it, no matter what was in the way.

Needless to say, Jiraiya wouldn't be making an appearance in public for a while.

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"Where are they?" Recca muttered, kicking a stone idly as he waited for his brother and Jiraiya to show up "Mataku, are we sure Kakashi-sensei's tardiness isn't contagious."

"Oi-oi…" Kakashi called out, eyeing his hotheaded student over the edge of his recently purchased volume of Icha-Icha Violence "That's no way to talk about your sensei."

"Show upon time then." Domon muttered, munching away on some chicken kebabs as he waited for the errant nins. Kakashi slumped slightly at this, earning a giggle from Yanagi and a smirk from Fuko. Kagero merely sent the Jounin a knowing look, the look most mothers can pull off when children are thinking something they shouldn't, prompting the cycloptic Jounin to forget any retaliation in lieu of spotting the arrival of one of the late arrivals.

"Jiraiya-sama." He greeted, only to blink as he spotted the Godaime walking alongside the sennin, quickly hiding his book lest she destroy it, or worse, order HIM to destroy it. His discomfort grew as he noticed the Godaime was practically glowing, the odd sparkle hovering around her face as she walked with the grace of a woman half her age. By contrast, Jiraiya was almost hobbling along, looking like all his energy had been sucked out. On the other hand, the grin that was threatening to rip his face in two seemed as energetic as ever.

'Note to self, ask Inoichi for a memory suppression update later this evening.' Kakashi muttered, shuddering as he realized what had obviously been going on. Thankfully, the two got their act together before the younger ones caught sight of them, though Kagero still sent Tsunade a knowing look, the type used to signify 'details later over coffee'.

"So where's the brat?" Tsunade asked, looking around and nodding at the assembled group "Don't tell me he's picked up some of your bad habit's Kakashi."

'Is everyone going to start now?' Kakashi muttered, fighting down the urge to retort, knowing he'd suffer an up close examination of his own colon if he did "No sign of him, Godaime-sama." He reported, giving a half-hearted salute "And if I may? I was here before anyone else."

"He's tellin' the truth." Domon muttered, his mouth full of barbecued chicken sticks as he spoke "Recca 'n I thought it was some sorta genjutsu at first tho'."

'I don't get no respect.' Kakashi muttered, sighing and shaking his head at the giant's manners. As it were, he turned to regard Jiraiya, shuddering as the man's grin, while restrained, still managed to unnerve him "So you're serious about this?"

"The boy's already proved himself capable by mastering Rasengan in a week." The sennin pointed out, still grinning "I trained his mother so I'm the only one that currently understands the learning curve of an Uzumaki…not that I'd call it a curve…more like a damn upward slope."

Kakashi nodded in agreement, having experienced Naruto's ability to adapt and advance himself first hand. "So what about Akatsuki? Or Orochimaru?"

"Damn you're a mood killer." Jiraiya muttered, the grin disappearing in an instant, much to Kakashi's relief "Don't worry, Naruto won't be out of my sight the entire time, so Akatsuki shouldn't try anything." He scowled "And as for Orochimaru, I'll keep my ear to the ground, but that bastard's slipperier than the snakes he hides in his gullet."

'Correction, track down Inoichi and threaten him at knife point to suppress my memories the second Naruto leaves.' Kakashi thought, his mind reeling with images brought on by Jiraiya's statement. He blinked as the sound of footsteps approached, fighting the urge to thank whatever deity was listening as Naruto rounded the corner towards the gate, backpack over her shoulder.

Though he DID raise an eyebrow at the fact the redhead was wearing the same clothes as ever, regardless of the fact the wire mesh under the kimono top was giving the world a pretty good view of her cleavage. Her…unbound…cleavage.

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Tsunade blinked as Kakashi began smashing his head against one of the gate posts, putting it off as stress and making a note to have Shizune send over a medic team later to calm him down. Ignoring the jounin for the moment, she turned to the redhead, hands on her hips as she smiled at her 'Outoto'…or was it 'Imouto' now?

"All set kid?" she asked, smiling down at the teen as she drew closer, "Bit of advice, sleep with a kunai under your pillow, the old fart has wandering hands."

"Do I look like a pedophile to you?" Jiraiya grumbled, growling as the group, with the exception of Kakashi, looked at him with deadpan expressions "Oh shut up!"

"We're only teasing you, Jiraiya-dono." Kagero assured him, she knew enough about the man from Tsunade to know that while he may ogle younger ladies, a fact she disapproved of considering his age, he had never laid a hand on one of his charges, not even when they'd come of age.

"I'll be following Big-booby neechan's advice though, Ero-sennin." Naruto warned, glaring up at the glaring sennin "So keep your hands to yourself."

"Insolent brat…" the sennin growled, though there was a note of humor in his tone as he ruffled the teen's hair affectionatly "Just like your mother."

Naruto swatted off the hand with a grin, turning to the others with a wane smile "I wish you guys were coming with me."

"Me too." Recca muttered, eyeing his 'Outoto' wistfully "But we're needed here until the ranks fill up again…and Tsunade said she'd have us doing D-ranks for life if we tried sneaking away."

Domon shuddered, recalling those blasphemous days and praying fervently that they would never come again. That one mission at the old folks home had been murder. 'So many liver spots…'

Mikagami merely told him to take care of himself, though he did shoot the redhead a heated glare that would've rendered Ensui useless when Haku pecked the redhead on the cheek. Kaoru and the Konohamaru corps made him promise to hang out when he got back, having snuck out of class to see him off.

Or so they'd thought, for Iruka had come to see his favourite student off as well. Rather than telling them off however, he merely tapped his nose and looked the other way, claiming if he didn;t see them, they weren't there.

Fuko punched the redhead's shoulder, grinning all the while as she did so "Don't forget about us okay? And if that old perv tries anything…" she eyed the currently female nin with a smirk "Well, self defense right?"

'Girl's are scary', every present male, and Naruto of course, muttered, shuddering at the implied meaning of the girl's words. Yanagi merely offered Naruto a box of homemade cookies, guaranteed to stick his teeth together and make his stomach ache for hours.

'How in the hell can Recca-aniki stomach these things' the redhead muttered, before turning to receive a hug from Kagero, head nestled between the woman's chest.

"You take care of yourself okay?" the immortal kunoichi ordered, holding the teen close despite the struggling "And be sure to listen to Jiraiya-sama, he only wants what's best for you."

"I will Kaa-san." The redhead offered, returning the hug with a smile, only to blink as the woman passed her a parcel "What's this?" she asked, shaking it for emphasis.

"Why necessities of course." Kagero offered, a smile on her face "You can't go on a training trip without them."

Naruto grimaced, staring at the package with abject horror while the treacherous remants of team seven burst out laughing. Dropping the package like one of Orochimaru's used experiments, the teen rounded on said teammates, a dust cloud kicking up as they proceeded to pummel each other in a true sense of camaraderie and farwel.

"Oh my, was it something I said?" Kagero wondered, though she did wink at Tsunade as she did so, the two women sharing a silent laugh at the boys' expenses.

Hey, mothers deserve to have their fun as well, and both had secretly been hoping for a daughter/sister when their respective son & brother had been born.

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After recovering from the mutual thrashing, team Seven huddled together, gripping each others shoulders tightly as they promised to meet up again before promptly decking each other in the Jaw in a sign of masculine affection (read stupidity). Smirking despite the still healing shiner on her face, Naruto picked up her backpack, shuddering as she realized Kagero had added the package to it, before walking over to an impatient Jiraiya, who wisely kept his trap shut.

"See ya when we get back!" the sennin called out, dragging his apprentice behind him as the others stood at the gate, seeing them off with waves and smiles and then occasional teasing comment. Without her knowing, Naruto found her gaze trailing to the hokage monument, coming to rest on the carved features of the third and fourth.

'Saru-ji…' the teen whispered, smiling up at the old man's effigy 'Don't you worry, I'll be back soon.' The teen's gaze turned to regard the yondaime's features, reaching out a hand towards them, clenching it slowly into a determined fist. "I'll be back." the Hanyou promised, recalling the look of pride the man's face had borne as he lay deteriorating on the floor "Just wait for me!"

And even though Orochimaru was nowhere near the village, even though he didn't believe in such things as fate and even though the talisman's that had made up the man's body had not reacted to any form of stimulus, Naruto was certain the man's last words were being carried on the wind as the teen turned to follow Jiraiya out the gate and into the world beyond.

"By the way..." Jiraiya called out, looking down at his disciple, and down her front as he did so, the minute they were out of earshot "I've been meaning to ask you...where'd you get the hickey?"

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"Well now." Tsunade muttered, sighing as she slipped on her doctor's coat, walking down the hallways of the hospital even as the sun was beginning to set, Shizune at her side "What's left on the agenda for today?"

"Hyuuga Neji is awaiting the signing of his release papers." The medic responded diligently, not chastising her mentor for taking so long to see off Naruto earlier "Akimichi Chouji is due for a check-up, and Inuzuka Kiba's painkillers seemed to have worn off."

"The Hyuuga can wait all he wants, miracle or not, NO-ONE leaves this hospital without a full check-up." Tsunade ordered, not slowing down in her pace "Have a member of both the Akimichi and Nara clans oversee the check up on Chouji, those pills have been known to have side-effects."

"And Kiba?" Shizune asked, making a mental note to alert the proper staff members as soon as she was dismissed, only to shudder at the smirk on her sensei's features.

"A little pain never hurt anyone." Tsunade stated flatly, missing the look of concern on her assistant's face as she continued down the hallway at a brisk pace "That it?"

"Er…actually…" Shizune stammered, flipping through the files one last time to make sure"There's someone else…Mitarashi Anko."

Tsunade blinked, looking over at her one-time student in surprise, and with good reason. Mitarashi Anko had hated hospitals ever since she was a child, claiming the smell of disinfectants made her sick. She still did as an adult, but it was joined by a hatred for Orochimaru and his laboratories. For her to personally come to for a check-up, rather than see a field medic, meant something HAD to be going on.

"I'll handle this personally." Tsunade declared, turning on her heel as she spoke, taking the clipboard from Shizune "You go deal with the Inuzuka brat."

Shizune nodded and dashed off, leaving her mentor to read over the frustratingly lacking chart the woman had provided. Reaching the room where Anko sat in a hospital gown she raised an eyebrow, noting the normally energetic toukobetsu jounin was acting rather reserved, not to mention the fact she looked a little green around the gills.

"'bout time you got here…" Anko growled, glaring at her leader with the usual lack of respect. Tsunade ignored it in favor of turning her attention to the medical charts, running over the details carefully before frowning in thought.

"How long?" she asked, eyeing the younger woman carefully, eyes flicking to the walls to warn her to be careful. The council had their ears everywhere, and she didn't trust that old war-hawk Danzo any further than an stone could jump.

"A month now," Anko admitted, nodding her head to assure the Hokage she wasn't THAT out of practice, and that the room was relatively secure "since you came back actually."

"And…the seal?" Tsunade asked, stepping closer under the pretense on checking up on the prototype, noting Sarutobi's attentive handwriting on the warding to keep it in check.

"Isn't an issue," Anko replied curtly "Sandaime-sama assured me that it wouldn't affect my body in any way."

Only Tsunade could have caught the hidden meaning in that statement, and sent a subtle chakra pulse into the woman's body, probing the seal as closely as she dared to without awakening the malignant properties within. When she deduced that there was no danger, she looked Anko in the eye and nodded "You're in the clear."

Anko sighed and seemed to lose several lines around her face, one hand resting on her stomach as if to steady it, only to look up at Tsunade as the woman gripped her shoulder. "Whose is it?" the Godaime asked, her tone brooking no argument from the younger woman. There was a time and a place for sass, and it WASN'T when someone's life was on the line.

"The hell do you wanna know?" Anko growled; though it lacked the usual bite she'd normally line isuch a reply with, "Even if I knew, why'd I tell you?"

"Dammit Anko this is serious!" Tsunade hissed, keeping her face calm as she worked to avoid the suspicion of anyone that came in "Who were you with that night?!"

Anko humphed, looking away for a few moments before speaking without moving her lips "Uzumaki, Uchiha and Hyuuga."

"You did WHAT?!" Tsunade hissed, almost forgetting to keep her face calm, though her nails DID dig into the woman's shoulder "Dammit Anko they're barely into their teens!"

"Old enough to kill, old enough to drink, old enough to fuck." The resident snake charmer recited, shooting the blonde a wry smirk "Isn't that what you taught us?"

"That was a different time." Tsunade grumbled, referring to the Shinobi war, when the age of consent had been lowered to ensure the shinobi populace didn't die out, one way or the other "And anyway, how'd you wrangle those three away?"

"Well, I was a little sloshed when I grabbed Uzumaki." She admitted with absolutely no sign of remorse "He called out to Uchiha for help so I brought him along too, and then Hiashi's little princess caught sight of me hauling off everyone's favorite half-breed and asked to join in."

"Hinata?" Tsunade repeated, blinking as she tried to make sense of the situation presented before her and failing spectacularly "Then…it wasn't Neji?"

"What? Hell no! what do you take me for?" Anko snapped, looking mortified "I may have been drunk, but that kid's got more issues than the Konoha News Archives!"

"Point taken…" Tsunade agreed with a sigh, recalling the Rock Lee incident with not too fond memories "Well, that lowers the candidates somewhat…are you keeping it?"

"Of course!" Anko snapped, covering her still flat stomach with both hands, as if to shield it from the question "I may be messed up but even I wouldn't go THAT far!"

"Good." Tsunade muttered, pulling out a scroll as she did, pretending to add some finishing touches to the cursed seal "But the second it's born, I'm testing the blood."

"Knock yourself out." Anko muttered, a hand pressed to her stomach, before smirking up at Tsunade "Wanna here the details?"

"Wait till I finish my shift." Tsunade muttered, a slight flush on her cheeks as she renewed the seal. Hey, leader of a village or not she still enjoyed a good laugh with the girls, and besides, bedtime tales were always the source of good blackmail later.

'One thing's for certain.' She noted, watching as Anko got dressed behind a screen 'I don't envy anyone that tries to hurt that child.'

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In a land where the rain fell almost continuously, a tower stood, untouched by the occasionally burst of lighting that tore the sky. In the catacombs beneath said tower, several ominous figures, the most dangerous silhouettes in the collective elemental bingo books, let out a simultaneous chorus of sneezes, before promptly glaring at one another for doing so. "Goddamn humidity." A young, crass voice cursed, followed by a heart sniff "Why the fuck we gotta have a meeting in this shithole?"

"Shut up." A larger figure growled, his eyes a menacing green with no pupils as he turned to regard the one who broke the silence "You're annoying."

"Mataku…All of us gathered together like this…" one voice noted, his tone deep and gravelly, as if there were sand in his lungs "We haven't had a get-together like this since Orochimaru gave us the slip seven years ago."

"The snake has gotten restless recently." A large, plant-like shadow noted, before a second voice sounded out from it **"I heard tell he got his hands on the sharingan...what do ya say ta that, Itachi?"**

The silhouette of a red-eyed man gave no response, the spinning sharingan the only sign that he was, in fact, alive or even paying attention.

"No need to get so excited-un." A mocking voice called out, perched upside down on the ceiling, one eye hidden by a patch "We'll deal with that traitor soon enough-un." He eyed the group as he spoke "I heard he's switched, so we've got three years before he can do anything. If we all work together, we should be right on schedule-un."

"Indeed." A cold voice called out, the speaker a spiky haired silhouette with unusual grey ringed eyes, the whites an unusual shade of pink "Once we obtain the Kyuubi…everything will be within our grasp."

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And so the saga draws to a close... for the moment at least

I'll admit, it didn't quite end the way I thought at first, but I figured the ones to see Naruto off be the ones that influenced him the most, which bascially included team Hokage, Haku, Kagero, Iruka, Kakashi, Jiraiya and Tsunade. The konohamaru corps were added on becasue we all know Kaoru wouldn't leave his friends behind.

That said, thank you for reading as long as you have.

Kakashi: Thank god that's over?

Kyugan: What are you talking about?

Kakashi: The Fic's finished. You won;t be able to torture me anymore.

Kyugan: You weren't paying attention were you?

Kakashi: Huh?

Kyugan: There's a sequel in the works!

Kakashi:... (Falls to his knees, holding his head) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!

Kyugan: (Smiles) Ah bliss...oh, and for those of you who stuck with me for the start, here's the ending for Hokage no Issan, sung to the tune of Shadow Skill's Born Legend...If you have this, please press play now.

(Images of the various scenes from Hokage no Issan are displayed, like a flashback montage, followed by the Konoha leaf symbol.)

_Kizu tsukeau koto shika…_

_(_shows half an image of a young, scowling Naruto_)_

_Omoi wo tsutaera wazu_.

(image is replaced by the opposite half of a young, crying Naruto.)

Yasuragi wo motsu subenaku,

(Recca's tekko covered arm is revealed, writing the kanji for a Karyuu)

_chiri isogu mono moaru…_

_(Zooms out to reveal Recca with flame blazing from his palm)_

Yasashisa wa tate ni nari…

(A crowd of Otonin are sent flying as Domon punches upwards)

Tsumi sura tsurugi ni naru.

(Camera zooms in on the giant's face, it is set in a mask of fury.)

Hontou no itami wo shireba

(Fuujin is held up to Fuko's face, camera zooms out as she spins in mid-aor.

Subete ni mezameru chikara!

(Naruto prepares to draw her sword, blue and red Chakra spinning in wisps all around him. Camera zooms in on his eyes, to be replaced by a sketch of Kyuubi attacking Konoha.)

Sou mayo-u tame ni nayamu tame ni,

(Naruto and Sasuke are sparring atop a plateau.)

Kura yami wa kanarazu kuru.

(Sasuke is seen practicing Kata by himself)

Idaku tame ni ai su tame ni,

(Fuko flips in mid-air, sending a burst of air at the camera)

Sakebi ni naru toki ga kuru.

(Tokiya sends a Tsurara-mai at Domon, who uncrosses his arms with a snarl, teeth clenched and eyes white as the symbol for Tetsugan on his forehead.)

Nageki no naka kibou wo no naka,

(The Hokage complex is shown, Kagero sitting on the porch.)

Inochi no imi wo oboete.

(Kagero looks up, her face calm, yet searching.)

Anata dake ni yurusareteru

(Kurei posses as we saw him last, his arm raised high with Kurenai's flame surrounding him, the flame-angel's hand in his own, her wings spread heavenward.)

Densetsu ga ima hajimari.

(Naruto scowls, flexing her muscles, the tekko coming off with a burst of crimson chakra.)

Camera zooms out to show the Kyuubi walking towards the screen, the giant fox is consumed by flame, replaced with the shadowed image of a tall, athletically built man walking away from the camera towards the blue sky, the back of his sleeveless Kimono top adorned with the Uzumaki whirlpool crest, the only visible features…his mane of red hair, and the barely visible Hokage clan crest on his left arm.

_"Live strong…Uzumaki Naruto…"_

**To be continued…**

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Translations for the song:

Kizu tsukeau koto shika-only through inflicting wounds upon each other

omoi wo tsutaera wazu-can our emotions be conveyed.

Yasuragi wo motsu subenaku-with no way of peace.

chiri isogu mono moaru-some will die Quickly.

Yasashisa wa tate ni nari-Kindness becomes a shield,

tsumi sura tsurugi ni naru-Sin becomes a sword.

Hontou no itami wo shireba-If you know what pain truly is,

subete ni mezameru chikara-All your power will awaken!

Sou mayo-u tame ni nayamu tame ni-To confuse, to worry;

Kura yami wa kanarazu kuru-darkness will surely come.

Idaku tame ni ai su tame ni-To embrace, to love;

Sakebi ni naru toki ga kuru-The time to scream will come.

Nageki no naka kibou wo no naka-amidst sorrow, amidst hope,

Inochi no imi wo oboete-the meaning of life is recalled.

Anata dake ni yurusareteru-For you alone,

Densetsu ga ima hajimari-The legend begins now!

And it will again...sometime in the future.

R&R! or no sequel for you!

* * *


End file.
